All language subtitles for Mom.S08E14.Endorphins.and.a.Toasty.Tushy.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

You know what I miss?
Phone booths.

Oh. Sing it, sister.

When I was homeless,
if you scored a phone booth,

you were living the life.

A door, a light, a shelf.

It was the original
tiny house.

Okay, not that funny.
What's up with you?

Oh, sorry. I just came back
from a hip-hop dance class.

I've got endorphins coming
out my eyeballs.

Ooh, where are
you taking it?

At that place
called Hippity-Hoppity

Dance Till You Droppity.

I want to take class there
just for the name.

Funny, that name makes me
want to cut my own feet off

and never dance again.

I'm going back tomorrow.
Why don't you come with me?

A-five, six,
seven, yes!

It's okay to contain
some of your excitement.

I am!

Oh, look,
there's Tammy.

And she seems to be
driving a Home Depot.

embarrassed by Tammy,

proud you know
what a Home Depot is.

Oh. When I was drinking,

I used to go to lots
of places by mistake.

It's the only reason I
have a Costco membership.

Hey, guys, I'm having
a little trouble parking.

Can't imagine why.

See, now,
if we had a phone booth,

we could jump inside and
pretend we don't know her.

What ya got
going on there?

Oh, I need to hold on to
the lumber when I make a turn,

and I got a splinter.

I'm gonna start wearing
gloves when I drive.

That's your solution?

Yeah, mittens would make it
too hard to change the radio.

Or perhaps the time
has come to buy a truck.

Oh, she can't afford
a truck.

Whoa. Bonnie just said what
the voice in my head said

at the exact same time.

That means my voice
is in your head.

That's a good thing.
That saves lives.

I bet you can afford it.
You're very cheap--

I-I mean frugal.

I'm not sure I'm ready.

I miss my red socks.

Are you okay?

Is she having a stroke?
Do you smell toast?

Wait, I smell toast.
Am I having a stroke?

No, we're in a diner.
Carry on.

She steals
my red socks

and puts them on
the ends of 2x4s.

So people can see them
sticking out of the car.

If you don't say the whole
thing, I just sound crazy.

You know, well, I think
you should go for it.

Your business
is doing so well.

Yeah, but I don't want
to be that cliché of a girl

who makes a little money and
then blows it all on a truck.

Tale as old as time.

No harm ever came
from waiting.

Oh, I disagree.

I waited two years for Andy
to be ready to get married,

and then he dumped me.

Sure, I'm back out there
dating again,

but Andy was a big ole waste
of my dwindling ovary time.

Get the damn truck
before your dreams die.

Sounds like you're still
holding on to some anger there.

Why do you think I'm going
to dance class every day?

I'm working it out to Dua Lipa.

I don't know what that is,
but I can't wait.

Uh, Tam,

some guy's walking
down the street

with two pieces of wood
wearing socks.

Uh, were they red?
Mm.

Oh, that cannot be
a coincidence.

Oh, I'm in love!

The club cab and
the half-ton bed,

and it's the perfect color.

Or is red slutty?

On skirts, boots and bras, yes.

On trucks, not so much.

Waiting for him
to come back with an answer

is worse than waiting
for the jury at my trial.

I just want to buy it
and hit a drive-through

as a first-time truck owner!

I love your enthusiasm.

Now shove it down.

Shoving.

Talked to my
sales manager.

The price I quoted you is as low
as he'll let me go.

Okey doke,
where do I sign?

Uh, hold on a minute there,
champ.

Vincent, is it? Yeah.

I checked Blue Book, and if you
want to ask 20% over market,

that's fine.
You deserve a living.

But right now you're at 30%.

-So bring it down 2
-K or we walk.

I would love to,
but my hands are tied.

His hands are tied, Bon.

I'm not hearing what
I want to hear, Vinny.

And the Dodge dealership
down the street

has one of those blow-up guys.

Come on.

It's time to go.
Oh.

Ugh, now this is
exactly like my trial.

All right, the best I can do
without getting fired

is to come down $1,500.

I don't know.
The red is a little slutty.

$1,800.
Throw in floor mats
and we got a deal.

Deal.
Oh.

That was
a roller coaster!

All right,

let's talk financing.

This kid is just a handyman,

so she's gonna need
some easy terms.

No, no more negotiating.
My heart can't take it.

This is why I
don't watch Shark Tank.

All right, I got all
the money right here.

I'm so excited!

I'm so excited for you!

How the
does Tammy have that much money?

Here we go.
Five, six, seven, eight!

♪ Tell me, baby ♪

♪ Do you like the way I move? ♪

♪ Come on, get your dance on ♪

♪ We can have as much fun ♪

♪ As you can possibly have ♪

♪ With your pants on ♪

♪ We can have as much fun ♪

Let's go!
♪ As you can possibly have ♪

♪ With your pants on. ♪

What are you doing?

Folding our laundry.

I thought I'd help by getting
a load from the dryer.

Huh, that's very sweet.
And I hesitate to say this

'cause I'd like it
to happen again,

but these are
not our clothes.

Then how did my undershirts
get in here?

Yes, Adam, you're the
only man in the world

who wears medium, white
Fruit of the Loom T-shirts.

Tammy get the truck?

She did, she did.

Great. Can't wait
to see it.

Paid for the whole thing
in cash.

Smart move.
You're missing the point.

Our friend who just spent seven
years in prison for robbery

paid for a truck
entirely in cash.

Aren't you wondering
where she got it?

No.
Yeah.

You also didn't wonder
why this was in our laundry,

so you're not a
reliable wonderer.

I can't believe
you're suggesting

that Tammy stole the money.

Either she's a criminal or
she's doing better than I am.

I'm more comfortable
with the first one.

Well,
I got bad news for you.

She didn't steal it.

She's been
working hard.

She does an eight-hour day
as a handyman,

then works a full shift
at the bar.

She's earned it.

Oh.

Are you disappointed?

Of course not.
She's my friend.

I'm happy she's doing well.

Well, not happy, but I'm working
very hard to tolerate it.

So you're jealous.

I am not!

Old Bonnie got jealous.

New Bonnie
is adjusting to the fact

that her friend
who just got out of prison

is making more money than
either Bonnie could ever make.

Well, I'm glad
you're not jealous.

Me, too.

New Bonnie is gonna
return this laundry,

including this
very cute blouse

that Old Bonnie would've kept

'cause the color
makes her eyes pop.

Bad, Old Bonnie. Bad.

Hmm. This ride
is surprisingly smooth

for a vehicle made
in this country.

Ooh, I'm about to make
a turn. Listen to this.

Isn't that click awesome?

It's got a strong beat.
You could almost dance to it.

Oh, I bet you could,
bless your heart.

Tammy, when you think
of how far you've come

in such a short time,
it's a miracle.

I mean, sure, I've seen people
come into the program

and turn their lives around,
but not with the speed you have.

Ooh.

My tushy is toasty.

Seat warmers. I turned 'em on
while you were praising me.

From jail
to seat warmers.

Now, there's the speech
you give at local high schools.

Maybe I should get a truck.

Why do you need a truck?

This is America.

You don't have to need
things to buy them.

What would you
use it for?

Well, truck detectives,

I am a building manager.

I have oversized things in my
life that need to be hauled.

If I wanted a truck,
I could get one.

Not in all cash.
Adam would have to help

and we'd have to cancel Hulu
and stop buying name-brand soup.

Can we please just
change the subject?

Sure thing. Hey, check out
my new sound system.

If I turn the bass
all the way up,

it feels like you're
getting a foot massage.

Put on
a hip-hop station,

you'll see
a whole new side of Wendy.

I am jealous of Tammy.

Super-duper jealous.

No. Really?

Good news is,

Old Bonnie would've
"accidentally" dumped coffee

all over
Tammy's warm, buttery seats.

But New Bonnie bit her tongue
so hard it bled a little.

Huh? Give it up.

For what,

acting like a human?

Yeah. Come on. Gimme.

You don't get a parade
for just being a decent person.

Then what's the point
of being a decent person?!

Where's Tammy? She's
supposed to be helping.

She got a phone call
about a job.

A job? What job?
She got another job?

Yeah. Her first full kitchen.

Cabinets, cupboards,
floors, appliances...

Yeah, I know
what a kitchen is.

Marjorie,
where's my cash and prizes?

What?
I've been sober longer,

but Tammy's having all
the success. What gives?

Well, first of all,
staying sober doesn't guarantee

money and success.

Hang that on the door.

It'll be a lot easier
to find a seat in here.

You could look

your cash and prizes
are being in a healthy marriage

and repairing your relationship
with your daughter.

Ugh, I'd rather have
actual cash and prizes.

Would you?

I would.

Being around Tammy makes
me feel like a loser,

which makes me feel
like a bad friend,

which makes me feel like
I haven't changed at all,

which makes me
feel like a loser.

It's a vicious cycle
that could easily end

if Tammy would just
stop doing well.

We get into trouble

when we compare ourselves
with other people.

"Compare and despair."

Ooh, it rhymed.
It must be true.

Why don't you
just keep acting

like you're happy for her,
and eventually,

your feelings may catch up.

Doesn't rhyme,
not doing it.

Hey. I can't wait
for dance class.

I bought a hat
so I can do this.

Oh. I didn't think
you'd want to go back.

Why? 'Cause I suck at it?

Well, I wasn't gonna
say it like that, but...

those are the words.

That doesn't matter.
It was fun.

Well, how can it be fun
if you're not good at it?

It's almost more fun.

Like when a movie's
so bad, it's good.

I had Snakes on a Plane
level fun in that class.

Oh, that is not how I roll.

If I'm not great at
something, I'm out.

One time I took a ceramics
class, had a little trouble

in the first few minutes, and
faked appendicitis and left.

That's so sad.

I was faking.

I just mean you miss out
on a lot of life that way.

Mm. If that was supposed
to be a pep talk,

that's something else
she sucks at.

I got it.
I got the job.

That's wonderful, honey.

Yay!

There's a
problem, though.

Finally.

It starts Monday, so
I have to finish the job

I'm on in the
next two days.

Who knows when
I'll sleep again?

Say what you will about
cocaine-- it was helpful.

Well, sleep deprivation
and power tools don't sound

like a good combo.

Maybe there's somebody
who could help you.

Ow! I-I sure would
like to help you.

Really?
Why would I say it
if I didn't mean it?

Awesome. I'll pick
you up at 6:00 a.m.
Keeps getting better!

And you only have to call
me "boss" if you want to.

Ah.

I hope you never get any
of your red socks back.

This is gonna be
some pantry.

I hope one day
I make enough money

that my cereal can have
its own bedroom.

I'm worried
we're running behind.

Did you finish that shelf
for the microwave?

I'm working as fast
as I can, boss.

Sorry. I'm stressed.
It's just that

I'm losing money on this gig.
I totally underbid it.

Why would you do that?

well, my thought was,
if I do jobs on the cheap,

and people like my work, they'll
recommend me to other people,

and I'll get more jobs.

Where you'll lose more money.

That does seem
to be the way it's going, yes.

Well, go tell the client
it's gonna cost more money.

I don't want to be that guy.
Really?

'Cause I love being that guy.

I'll tell you what.

You finish this,
I'll go talk to the client.

Okay, but please be nice.

Ugh. I'm always nice.

No, you're not, which is why
I'm saying, "Please be nice."

Look-- it's a bowl!

Now it's a plate.

I don't know how I let you
talk me into doing this again.

I suck at it,
and I'm getting all dirty.

Can you get appendicitis twice?

You know, this class is an hour,
whether you have fun or not.

And I'm just saying,
this is a lot of muss and fuss

for something I can buy
at Crate & Barrel.

Jill, get over yourself.

You're not gonna be
perfect at it.
Ugh.

Just enjoy the damn process.

Fine, but mostly 'cause
you're my ride.

Oh, shut up.

Here. Now give me a "whoo."

Don't push it.

Can I say "thank you"
one more time?

Thank you. Thank you,
thank you, thank you.

Sorry, that was four.

I'm just so excited.

Because of you,
I'm gonna actually

make a profit on this job,
and I've got a new truck,

and another big job
lined up after this.

Everything's coming up Tammy.

It's almost too much good luck
for one person to have.

They should make a movie
about my miraculous turnaround.

It could be called
Everything's Coming Up Tammy.

Well, I'd sure
see that movie.

Oh. Damn it!
Oh, my God.

I just spilled coffee
all over your new truck.

I'm sorry.
I'm so, so, so sorry.

I swear it was an accident.

Of course it was an accident.

Why would you do that
on purpose?

Because deep down,
I'm a terrible person!

And really,
it's not even that deep down.

Uh, what are you
talking about?

I have been so jealous of you

ever since you got this truck,

and you keep getting
these amazing jobs,

and-and... and I don't want

to say "everything's coming up
Tammy" again,

but everything's
coming up Tammy!

This is so weird.

I've always been
so jealous of you.

Well, that's the way I liked it.

Bonnie, I'm still
jealous of you.

I mean, you're
savvy and fearless

and smart in a way
I could never be.

Oh!

Now you're making me feel good
about myself.

You're even a better friend
than I am.

Stop making it
a competition.

Look, we both have
different strengths.

I mean, the way you negotiate--
I could never do that.

Yeah, I am pretty amazing.

I'm sorry
I got so jealous.

I guess it makes sense.

You're the closest thing
I have to a sister.

Aw, I feel the
exact same way.

Hey, could you grab some
napkins out of the glove box?

Yeah, I'm getting
a little emotional, too.

Actually, I need you to clean up
that coffee before it sets in.

Yes, yes. On it.
Mm-hmm.

Blot, don't rub.

Hey, Jill. What's going on?

Hey. Please excuse
my appearance, but I knew

if I didn't say this right away,
I would never say it at all.

I've always believed

that if something wasn't
perfect, it's a failure.

You know that stupid thing
people say

about the joy being
in the journey?

Well, it turns out,
it's kind of true.

You and I weren't
a big, fat failure

just because we didn't end up
in a big, fat wedding.

Jill, I-I...
I promise

I'm almost done.
I just need to get this out.

You were my first
sober relationship.

We shared a lot
of beautiful memories together,

and I can actually remember
'em all because I wasn't high.

I just wanted you to know

that I'm okay with what happened
between us.

And I want you to have this
to remember me by.

Huh.

Think I was supposed to put that
in some kind of special oven,

but I skipped that step.

You were in pottery class.

Thought your
gardener quit again.

Oh. No.

I mean, well, he did,
but that's not what this is.

Thanks.

And, uh, yeah, for
what it's worth,

I-I-I... I think I messed up.

You know, I-I... I knew
you wanted to get married

and start a family, and
I wasn't sure I was ready.

And, um... I'm-I'm just...

I'm-I'm really sorry
I wasted your time.

No, but that's the thing.

None of it was a waste.

Well, it wasn't
for me, either.

Okay. Well, you take
care of yourself.

Mm. You, too.

And thanks for the bowl.

Ah, shoot.
Oh, no!

Oh, wait.
Now it's a planter.
Ah.

Mm.
Mm.

Come on! Come on!

It's not a funeral march!
Step it up!

I don't get what
the hoopla is.

We've all seen the truck. Whoo,
whoo, shiny, shiny. I'm hungry.

Humor them,
we'll get to lunch faster.

Okay, we have
an announcement to make.

Uh, do you want to say it?
No, you say it.

I think you should say it.

Uh, this is not getting
us to lunch faster.

You go.
No, you go. You go.

For God's sake,
somebody go.

Tammy and I are...

Going into business together!

Good for you guys!
That's great.

You are gonna
be awesome!

Doing what,
exactly?

Construction! Well,
I'm gonna handle

the hammering and
nailing part,

and she's gonna handle
the businessy part.

We figure together,
we'll be unstoppable!

So, presenting...

That's great!

Oh, I love it.

Um, did you guys say
that name out loud

before you put it
on a big old magnet?

What's wrong
with "TamBon"?

Aw, crap!
I still don't hear...

Oh, I just got it.

All right, let's spitball
new names for our business.

What's the first thing
that comes to you

off the top of your head?

Chicks With Drills.

Okay, what's the second?

Chicks With Power Drills.

Getting stuck
on a theme here.

Ladies Who Lumber?

Sounds like we walk slow.

Working Girls?

I feel like we're gonna
get a lot of calls

for the wrong thing. Mm...

Boy, Hippity Hoppity
Build Till You Droppity

is sounding better and better.

Gonna need a big magnet, though.
Yeah.

How about
"Two Gals Who Like Wood"?

I like it.

Let me google it
to see if anyone's using it.