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1
00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:04,046
Hey, guys, check it out.
2
00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:06,715
"Wendy Harris,
Nurse Supervisor."
3
00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:08,175
You got a promotion?
4
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:10,510
Your last name
is Harris?
5
00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:12,471
I'm so happy, I'm not even
gonna let that bother me.
6
00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:14,306
Aw, good for you.
CHRISTY:
Congratulations!
7
00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:16,475
You work so hard,
you deserve this.
8
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,394
Are you being
sarcastic?
9
00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:21,188
Not at all.
10
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,731
In fact, I would like
to propose a toast
11
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,149
to our dear friend...
12
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,817
Please don't
ruin this for me.
13
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:27,694
I'm being sincere.
14
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,071
Are you?
15
00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:30,280
Yes!
16
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,574
I'm genuinely proud of her.
17
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:35,035
Mom, stop. You're
not fooling us.
18
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:38,497
Fine. It was
exhausting, anyway.
19
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,583
Well, now this is
officially a celebration.
20
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,585
Order whatever you want.
It's on us.
21
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:45,212
Thanks, I'm just
gonna have soup.
22
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,130
Soup? I say
go big or go home.
23
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,715
Get the sicken cheeser.
24
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,467
What's a sicken cheeser?
25
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,469
(groans) I meant
the chicken Caesar.
26
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,471
Damn it, I keep
flipping my words.
27
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:56,723
I know-- you did it twice
during your share today.
28
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:59,393
You sounded cricken frazy.
29
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:00,852
I don't know
what's going on.
30
00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:02,729
Maybe it's 'cause
I'm not sleeping.
31
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:06,566
Is that 'cause you and Andy
are "takin' care of bidness"?
32
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,819
No, it's 'cause no matter
how low I set the thermostat,
33
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:11,530
I still wake up like
I just walked out of a sauna.
34
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:14,741
From "takin' care
of bidness"?
35
00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:18,787
Sweetie? Watch
some porn or something.
36
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,832
I do. It doesn't help.
37
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:25,544
Have you seen your doctor?
Maybe you're in perimenopause.
38
00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:27,754
Maybe you are, bitch.
39
00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:32,676
Sorry. I've also
been irritable.
40
00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,761
You know, I usually have nothing
but love for you in my heart,
41
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,805
but calling Wendy
a "B" on her special "D"
42
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,765
is totally "NC."
43
00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:41,643
Not Cool.
44
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,272
You're right.
Let me make it up to you.
45
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,481
After the meeting
this Friday,
46
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:48,442
I'll take us all
to my club for lunch.
47
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,652
Thanks, Jill.
That's so nice of you.
48
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:52,279
And for what's it's worth,
49
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,948
I still think going
to your doctor is a good idea.
50
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:58,577
Well, keep it to yourself,
you toothless old dragon.
51
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,456
I'm... I'm gonna call
my doctor now.
52
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,832
Yeah.
53
00:02:25,810 --> 00:02:27,940
I've never been to a
country club before.
54
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:30,190
I mean, once I ran naked
across a golf course.
55
00:02:30,190 --> 00:02:32,860
It's so much further than
you think it's gonna be.
56
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,490
Hi. My name is Bonnie,
and I look fabulous.
57
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:40,250
Hi. My name is
Christy, and...
58
00:02:40,250 --> 00:02:41,620
yeah...
59
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:43,170
(others laughing)
60
00:02:43,170 --> 00:02:45,210
Hey, did you guys check out
the menu for the club?
61
00:02:45,210 --> 00:02:46,630
We looked it up online.
62
00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:48,840
Lot of shellfish.
63
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:50,300
You know that
ribeye for two?
64
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,510
If I get it for myself,
would you guys judge me?
65
00:02:53,970 --> 00:02:57,140
Well, I hope you're happy.
I just went to my doctor,
66
00:02:57,140 --> 00:02:59,100
and it turns out
I am in peri-meni-pause.
67
00:02:59,100 --> 00:03:00,680
Peri-meno-pause.
68
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,640
Do not correct a woman
in peri-meni-pause.
69
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:05,150
Oh, uh, look, honey,
we all go through it.
70
00:03:05,150 --> 00:03:07,150
It's natural.
71
00:03:07,150 --> 00:03:08,650
Since when do I care
about natural?
72
00:03:08,650 --> 00:03:10,280
I have worked so hard
to stay sober
73
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,990
so that I can be in control
of what I say and what I do
74
00:03:12,990 --> 00:03:14,820
and what I throw
across the room.
75
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:17,070
And now, just when I'm feeling
like I got it all together,
76
00:03:17,070 --> 00:03:20,990
my hormones are like, "Screw
you! I'm your higher power now!"
77
00:03:20,990 --> 00:03:22,580
I'm not sure if I went
through perimenopause.
78
00:03:22,580 --> 00:03:23,960
I was in prison
at the time.
79
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,170
Everyone was hot, cranky
and throwin' stuff.
80
00:03:26,170 --> 00:03:28,880
And by "stuff,"
I mean people.
81
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,630
The doctor said
this could last a decade.
82
00:03:31,630 --> 00:03:33,590
A decade!
83
00:03:33,590 --> 00:03:35,630
We're moving.
84
00:03:35,630 --> 00:03:38,180
Well, it's usually
much shorter than that.
85
00:03:38,180 --> 00:03:41,600
I had a few mild symptoms
and then boom, over.
86
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,730
And I've really felt like I
was in my power ever since.
87
00:03:44,730 --> 00:03:46,310
Plus, no more condoms.
88
00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:47,860
Oh, good.
Remind me that my baby-maker's
89
00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:49,020
going out of business.
90
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:50,690
Right when I finally have a guy
91
00:03:50,690 --> 00:03:52,740
I might actually want
to make a baby with.
92
00:03:52,740 --> 00:03:54,900
Sorry, could you repeat
what you just said?
93
00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:57,910
'Cause I went deaf
when Marjorie said "condoms."
94
00:04:01,870 --> 00:04:04,330
Are you sure we can't sit down,
maybe get started
95
00:04:04,330 --> 00:04:06,620
with a little pickle plate
or something?
96
00:04:06,620 --> 00:04:09,710
As I told you before,
I can't seat your party
97
00:04:09,710 --> 00:04:11,210
until the club member arrives.
98
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:13,210
And as I told you before,
99
00:04:13,210 --> 00:04:16,180
okay, we'll be right over there.
100
00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:19,930
Christy, you've been
kind of quiet.
101
00:04:19,930 --> 00:04:21,260
Are you okay?
102
00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:22,720
I'm fine.
103
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,140
I just got some bad news.
104
00:04:24,140 --> 00:04:26,190
I don't want to make it
about me.
105
00:04:26,190 --> 00:04:28,270
It's Wendy's day.
Wait for it.
106
00:04:28,270 --> 00:04:30,360
It's just, I didn't get picked
for moot court.
107
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,780
What's that?
They make believe
they're lawyers.
108
00:04:32,780 --> 00:04:34,940
How am I ever gonna be taken
seriously as a lawyer
109
00:04:34,940 --> 00:04:36,280
if I can't even make moot court
110
00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:38,990
at a law school
next to a car wash?
111
00:04:38,990 --> 00:04:40,780
I don't know where
I went wrong.
112
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:43,660
I put my name in early,
I sucked up to the professors,
113
00:04:43,660 --> 00:04:45,910
and I can see you
in the mirror!
114
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,960
And I see you, too. Hi.
115
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:50,880
(phone chimes twice)
116
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:52,920
It's Jill.
117
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,090
She's not coming.
118
00:04:55,090 --> 00:04:56,670
Seriously?
What?!
Aw.
119
00:04:56,670 --> 00:04:58,130
She is, and I quote,
120
00:04:58,130 --> 00:05:01,180
"going home to have Andy
put a baby in it."
121
00:05:01,180 --> 00:05:03,260
What about
our lunch?
122
00:05:03,260 --> 00:05:05,850
She says she'll
make it up to you.
123
00:05:05,850 --> 00:05:08,270
Well, now you've already
seen me in this dress.
124
00:05:08,270 --> 00:05:10,690
It's my first time
wearing coral.
125
00:05:10,690 --> 00:05:12,110
Hang on.
126
00:05:13,190 --> 00:05:14,980
Hello, sir.
127
00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:18,280
Would you like to have lunch
with five beautiful women?
128
00:05:19,450 --> 00:05:21,660
There won't be
a big bar bill!
129
00:05:27,930 --> 00:05:29,180
Hi.
130
00:05:29,180 --> 00:05:30,770
Hi. What are you
doing home?
131
00:05:30,770 --> 00:05:32,940
I thought you were having
a big lunch for Christy.
132
00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:35,440
Wendy.
They all kind of blend.
133
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,230
By the way,
thanks for always having
134
00:05:37,230 --> 00:05:38,980
bread and ham
in your house.
135
00:05:38,980 --> 00:05:41,360
Oh, it's 'cause
I love you.
Oh.
136
00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,070
You know,
if you really love me,
137
00:05:43,070 --> 00:05:44,910
you could spring
for some Miracle Whip.
138
00:05:44,910 --> 00:05:48,410
I know. Girls hate it,
but guys love it.
139
00:05:48,410 --> 00:05:51,200
Sure. And in return,
can we make a baby?
140
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:55,170
I know. Guys hate it,
but girls love it.
141
00:05:55,170 --> 00:05:57,460
Wha... uh...
(clears throat)
142
00:05:57,460 --> 00:05:59,250
What?
143
00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:01,460
Here's the thing.
144
00:06:01,460 --> 00:06:04,090
What?
Well...
145
00:06:04,090 --> 00:06:07,590
it's just that we have been
together for almost a year now,
146
00:06:07,590 --> 00:06:10,760
and I'm not getting any younger,
so, you know-- baby.
147
00:06:12,930 --> 00:06:15,100
I'm gonna sit down for a second.
148
00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:19,270
Is that a no?
No, you know, it's just
149
00:06:19,270 --> 00:06:21,440
I-I came here
to make lunch--
had a little bit
150
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,030
of an issue with
the sandwich spread.
151
00:06:23,030 --> 00:06:25,110
That was gonna be my...
152
00:06:25,110 --> 00:06:28,200
big dilemma o' the day.
153
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,450
Well, now it's: should we
or shouldn't we make a person.
154
00:06:30,450 --> 00:06:31,830
What do you think?
155
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:34,450
Jill, I, um...
156
00:06:34,450 --> 00:06:37,540
I'm sorry, I-I didn't see
this coming on so quick.
157
00:06:38,580 --> 00:06:40,460
You know how on our first date,
158
00:06:40,460 --> 00:06:44,260
you said, "What are you,
like, 35?" and I just smiled?
159
00:06:46,630 --> 00:06:48,640
I'm 40.
160
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,930
And 18 months.
161
00:06:52,930 --> 00:06:54,520
Okay.
162
00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:57,350
(sighs)
But I think I'd be a great mom.
163
00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,310
And I know you'd be a great dad.
164
00:06:59,310 --> 00:07:00,900
I mean, you're so strong.
165
00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:02,980
Just think how high
you could toss a baby.
166
00:07:04,030 --> 00:07:05,900
I would never toss a baby.
167
00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:07,900
Look at you.
You passed the test!
168
00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:09,360
Let's get to breedin'.
169
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:12,030
Okay, uh, listen...
170
00:07:12,030 --> 00:07:15,870
babe, I-I get that
your clock is ticking,
171
00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:17,540
but I'm-I'm just...
172
00:07:17,540 --> 00:07:19,500
(sighs)
173
00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:22,000
I'm not sure that we're...
174
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,590
there yet.
175
00:07:25,210 --> 00:07:26,510
Oh.
176
00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:30,090
You're right.
177
00:07:30,090 --> 00:07:32,850
You're right.
Forget I brought it up.
178
00:07:34,350 --> 00:07:37,480
(grandfather clock
chiming the hour)
179
00:07:39,190 --> 00:07:41,020
That's not you, is it?
180
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:50,990
What?
181
00:07:50,990 --> 00:07:53,910
Nothing. I just love
182
00:07:53,910 --> 00:07:55,370
the one night a week
the bar is closed
183
00:07:55,370 --> 00:07:57,370
and we get to go to bed
at the same time.
184
00:07:57,370 --> 00:07:59,210
Me, too. I get to read a little.
185
00:07:59,210 --> 00:08:02,380
Oh, wait, was that code? 'Cause
if it's code, just say so.
186
00:08:02,380 --> 00:08:04,540
No, no code.
187
00:08:04,540 --> 00:08:06,250
Just as well.
188
00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:08,010
This book is about
to unlock the mystery
189
00:08:08,010 --> 00:08:10,050
of compound interest for me.
190
00:08:10,050 --> 00:08:11,340
Can you rub
some lotion on my back?
191
00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:13,260
Uh, sure. Wait, is this code?
192
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:15,260
Nothing is code.
Oh, okay.
193
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:20,270
Do you ever wonder what
it would be like if we'd a kid?
194
00:08:20,270 --> 00:08:23,400
(exhales) We'd be in The
Guinness Book of World Records,
195
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,150
so that'd be sweet.
(chuckles)
196
00:08:26,150 --> 00:08:29,320
I mean if we'd met during
our childbearing years.
197
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,660
Yeah, I guess it's
crossed my mind.
198
00:08:31,660 --> 00:08:33,240
We'd be the coolest parents.
199
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:36,200
And as a result,
our kid would be spectacular.
200
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:38,620
He'd probably be tall,
which is great.
201
00:08:38,620 --> 00:08:40,250
"He." I like that.
202
00:08:40,250 --> 00:08:42,250
I already ruined a she.
203
00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:43,960
He'd be funny.
204
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:45,460
He'd be outgoing.
Mm.
205
00:08:45,460 --> 00:08:48,090
He'd have the hair
of a sexy Troll doll.
206
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,300
And I guess he'd say what he
thinks whenever he felt like it
207
00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:55,010
no matter how hurtful.
208
00:08:55,010 --> 00:08:57,140
And I guess he'd also
be super sensitive.
209
00:08:57,140 --> 00:09:00,310
Which is better than him
being super insensitive.
210
00:09:00,310 --> 00:09:02,310
Well, he'd also be
passive-aggressive.
211
00:09:02,310 --> 00:09:05,440
And likely have
addiction issues.
212
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:08,190
And be in a wheelchair.
213
00:09:08,190 --> 00:09:11,240
Yeah, snowboarding off
a cliff isn't hereditary.
214
00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,450
Is always needing
to feel right hereditary?
215
00:09:13,450 --> 00:09:15,030
If it is, our kid is doomed.
216
00:09:15,030 --> 00:09:17,200
Yeah, I'm starting
to not like our son.
217
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,490
Yeah, he does sound
like a bit of a douche.
218
00:09:19,490 --> 00:09:22,120
But I'll tell you one thing:
with you as a father,
219
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,540
he'd be gorgeous.
220
00:09:23,540 --> 00:09:26,460
(chuckles):
Thanks.
221
00:09:26,460 --> 00:09:28,630
What are you doing?
That was code.
222
00:09:28,630 --> 00:09:30,630
Wha...? Oh.
223
00:09:34,470 --> 00:09:35,640
How was school?
224
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,050
Did you ask your professor
225
00:09:37,050 --> 00:09:38,720
why you didn't get
chosen for mute court?
226
00:09:40,430 --> 00:09:42,350
Moot court, and I don't
want to talk about it.
227
00:09:42,350 --> 00:09:43,690
Okay.
Really?
228
00:09:43,690 --> 00:09:45,100
You're walking away?
229
00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:47,310
That was clearly a cry for help.
230
00:09:47,310 --> 00:09:49,190
(knocking on door)
231
00:09:49,190 --> 00:09:50,820
So, you-you want
to talk about it?
232
00:09:50,820 --> 00:09:52,440
Oh, my God, no.
233
00:09:54,490 --> 00:09:57,200
Exciting news, people.
234
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,660
Andy put a baby in it?
235
00:09:58,660 --> 00:10:00,830
Not yet and maybe not soon
and maybe not ever,
236
00:10:00,830 --> 00:10:03,330
so I'm gonna freeze my eggs.
237
00:10:03,330 --> 00:10:06,080
Good for you, taking matters
into your own hands.
238
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,380
Exactly.
(clears throat)
239
00:10:07,380 --> 00:10:09,340
Freezing eggs
is like freezing time.
240
00:10:09,340 --> 00:10:11,760
I can thaw them out,
hit them with a dash of sperm
241
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:13,550
and use them whenever I'm ready.
242
00:10:14,590 --> 00:10:17,050
Isn't that
really expensive?
243
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,300
Yeah, well,
I thought so, too,
244
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:20,350
but it's only $30,000.
245
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:24,730
I've already been
to the doctor.
246
00:10:24,730 --> 00:10:26,810
I have to take a series
of these fertility shots
247
00:10:26,810 --> 00:10:28,520
to get me all eggy,
248
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,360
but I need a partner
to help me with the injections.
249
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,320
So, Christy,
250
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:33,690
would you be my partner?
251
00:10:33,690 --> 00:10:35,360
I'd love to.
252
00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:36,740
Great!
253
00:10:36,740 --> 00:10:38,820
Doctor said you should practice
on a grapefruit.
254
00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:40,200
So here you go.
255
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,410
Yay!
256
00:10:41,410 --> 00:10:43,370
Homework that's easy!
257
00:10:43,370 --> 00:10:45,710
Isn't this something
your boyfriend should do?
258
00:10:45,710 --> 00:10:47,710
No, I decided
not to tell him.
259
00:10:47,710 --> 00:10:50,380
I don't want him to think I'm
obsessed with having a child.
260
00:10:50,380 --> 00:10:53,550
What do you think
of the name Pearl?
261
00:10:54,460 --> 00:10:56,170
Hate.
262
00:10:56,170 --> 00:10:58,470
Second grade, Pearl Fleming
cut off my pigtail.
263
00:10:58,470 --> 00:11:00,640
And you did nothing
to deserve that?
264
00:11:02,140 --> 00:11:03,720
Fine. Name your baby Pearl,
265
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,680
but we will have
a complicated relationship.
266
00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:08,850
Thanks for doing this.
267
00:11:08,850 --> 00:11:10,560
What about Wendy?
She's a nurse.
268
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:12,320
Mom, I finally got picked
for something.
269
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:13,530
Let me have this.
270
00:11:20,110 --> 00:11:21,270
Ready?
Mm.
271
00:11:21,270 --> 00:11:23,110
Did you practice?
272
00:11:23,110 --> 00:11:24,940
Every grapefruit in our house
is ready to give birth.
273
00:11:24,940 --> 00:11:26,110
Okay.
274
00:11:27,530 --> 00:11:28,950
What's that?
275
00:11:28,950 --> 00:11:30,120
An alcohol wipe.
276
00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:31,330
Ooh, alcohol.
277
00:11:31,330 --> 00:11:32,870
Should we call Marjorie?
278
00:11:32,870 --> 00:11:34,830
Just don't put it in
a glass with an olive,
279
00:11:34,830 --> 00:11:36,120
and we'll be fine.
280
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,170
(mutters)
(whimpers)
281
00:11:39,170 --> 00:11:40,380
What?
282
00:11:40,380 --> 00:11:42,380
I have an intense fear
of needles.
283
00:11:42,380 --> 00:11:44,300
Which is why I became
an alcoholic,
284
00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:47,470
even though heroin
has less calories.
285
00:11:47,470 --> 00:11:50,140
Just breathe.
(inhales, exhales)
286
00:11:50,140 --> 00:11:52,970
Now, I'm supposed to inject you
two inches under your navel
287
00:11:52,970 --> 00:11:55,100
by pinching a small
section of your fat.
288
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:56,310
'Kay.
289
00:11:57,310 --> 00:11:59,520
All right, stop flexing.
290
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,150
Sorry.
291
00:12:01,150 --> 00:12:02,360
(groans)
292
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,650
There's not much
to work with here.
293
00:12:04,650 --> 00:12:06,940
I will pass that compliment on
to my trainers,
294
00:12:06,940 --> 00:12:08,610
Alfonso and Katya.
295
00:12:08,610 --> 00:12:10,490
Ooh!
296
00:12:10,490 --> 00:12:12,160
Calm down.
Focus on the fact
297
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:13,620
that you're lucky enough
to be able to do this,
298
00:12:13,620 --> 00:12:14,990
'cause not everyone can.
299
00:12:14,990 --> 00:12:16,200
Wait a minute.
300
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,620
Do you want to do this?
301
00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:19,920
Me?
302
00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:21,130
I don't know.
303
00:12:21,130 --> 00:12:22,330
Doesn't matter.
304
00:12:22,330 --> 00:12:23,630
I could never afford it.
305
00:12:23,630 --> 00:12:25,210
Christy, you're
like a sister to me.
306
00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:27,340
If you want to freeze your eggs,
I'll pay for it.
307
00:12:28,590 --> 00:12:30,340
You would?
308
00:12:30,340 --> 00:12:33,180
Yeah, we could go
through this together.
309
00:12:34,180 --> 00:12:36,930
You would give me $30,000?
310
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:38,480
Well, I wouldn't give it to you,
311
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,480
because of, you know,
your gambling history,
312
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,610
but I would give it
to the egg people.
313
00:12:42,610 --> 00:12:46,110
That's so incredibly
generous.
314
00:12:46,110 --> 00:12:47,320
Okay.
315
00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,030
Give me the shot.
316
00:12:49,030 --> 00:12:50,320
(exhales)
I already did.
317
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:51,570
When you offered
me the money,
318
00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:54,200
I flinched and
it slid right in.
319
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:55,410
Wow.
320
00:12:55,410 --> 00:12:57,200
Well, that didn't hurt at all.
321
00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,210
I hope the baby
pops out that easy.
322
00:12:59,210 --> 00:13:02,040
Oh, don't worry. They do.
323
00:13:04,670 --> 00:13:06,670
This grilled cheese
is delicious.
324
00:13:06,670 --> 00:13:09,920
I went crazy and mixed
cheddar with American.
325
00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:12,380
Two kinds of cheese.
326
00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:14,550
Did you run into some money
I didn't know about?
327
00:13:14,550 --> 00:13:17,060
(door closes)
328
00:13:17,060 --> 00:13:19,430
I am gonna be
up all night.
329
00:13:19,430 --> 00:13:21,020
What's wrong?
330
00:13:21,020 --> 00:13:22,600
Jill said
if I wanted to freeze my eggs,
331
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,230
she'd pay for it.
332
00:13:24,230 --> 00:13:27,070
Y-You want to freeze your eggs?
333
00:13:27,070 --> 00:13:28,280
I don't know.
(exhales)
334
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,690
I mean, it's kind of invasive.
335
00:13:29,690 --> 00:13:31,490
They put a needle
in your vagina.
336
00:13:31,490 --> 00:13:32,740
Okay.
337
00:13:32,740 --> 00:13:35,120
I'm gonna take Gus
for a walk.
338
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,080
Come on!
339
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,080
Would you want
to have another kid?
340
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:42,540
I wouldn't mind a chance
to do it sober.
341
00:13:42,540 --> 00:13:45,250
Remembering Christmas concerts,
342
00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:48,000
showing up for soccer games,
343
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,170
keeping my clothes on
in the ball pit
344
00:13:50,170 --> 00:13:52,590
at Chuck E. Cheese.
345
00:13:52,590 --> 00:13:55,340
Hey, anyone who doesn't think
about getting naked
346
00:13:55,340 --> 00:13:58,100
in one of those things
is lying to themselves.
347
00:13:58,100 --> 00:13:59,720
Thank you.
Mm.
348
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,430
(sighs) I guess if I'm
gonna harvest my eggs,
349
00:14:01,430 --> 00:14:03,100
I should do it now.
350
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:06,060
My period has been
extremely irregular lately.
351
00:14:06,060 --> 00:14:07,270
ADAM:
Hang on, please!
352
00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:09,530
Just looking
for the leash!
353
00:14:09,530 --> 00:14:10,730
And when my period
does come,
354
00:14:10,730 --> 00:14:12,740
the flow is like
Niagara Falls!
355
00:14:12,740 --> 00:14:14,200
Just whoosh!
356
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,410
ADAM:
I don't need Gus!
357
00:14:15,410 --> 00:14:16,620
I'm just
leaving!
358
00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:18,330
(door closes)
359
00:14:18,330 --> 00:14:21,040
Hmm?
360
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,450
Do you think
it's a terrible idea?
361
00:14:22,450 --> 00:14:24,460
If you want to do it,
362
00:14:24,460 --> 00:14:25,790
I'm all in.
363
00:14:25,790 --> 00:14:27,460
Seriously?
364
00:14:27,460 --> 00:14:29,130
Yeah.
Just put your eggs on ice.
365
00:14:29,130 --> 00:14:30,670
And then, after law school,
we'll get Jill
366
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:32,090
to buy you some Olympic sperm,
367
00:14:32,090 --> 00:14:34,130
and we'll raise a super baby.
368
00:14:34,130 --> 00:14:35,340
Okay.
369
00:14:35,340 --> 00:14:38,140
Okay, let's do this.
370
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,220
But I wouldn't want to do it
right after law school,
371
00:14:42,220 --> 00:14:43,770
'cause, you know,
I'll want to give myself
372
00:14:43,770 --> 00:14:45,480
a couple years
to get established.
373
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,020
So in five years?
374
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:49,110
I might want to try
and go for partner,
375
00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:50,320
so I may need nine.
376
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,150
Okay, great. So...
377
00:14:52,150 --> 00:14:55,280
when the kid graduates
high school, you'll be, uh...
378
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:57,110
(exhales)
...68.
379
00:14:57,110 --> 00:14:59,280
And if my math is correct,
I'll be...
380
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:02,330
(sighs)
...67.
381
00:15:04,330 --> 00:15:06,580
Mm, but are you sure?
382
00:15:06,580 --> 00:15:09,590
Because it sounds like
you don't want to have a baby--
383
00:15:09,590 --> 00:15:11,210
you want to have a career.
384
00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:14,380
Well, then why am I considering
having a baby?
385
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:16,130
Because you didn't get
into moot court.
386
00:15:16,130 --> 00:15:17,680
That's ridiculous.
387
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,180
(scoffs softly)
Wait for it.
388
00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:23,310
Oh. Damn,
there's no one here.
389
00:15:23,310 --> 00:15:24,680
Oh, my God.
390
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,480
I was totally
about to have a baby
391
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:28,150
because I didn't get a part
392
00:15:28,150 --> 00:15:31,610
in what is basically
the law school play.
393
00:15:31,610 --> 00:15:34,530
Hey, I had you because I needed
a ride home from a flea market.
394
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,070
JILL:
Natalie!
395
00:15:40,070 --> 00:15:43,330
In here!
396
00:15:43,330 --> 00:15:45,290
Do you like this dress?
397
00:15:45,290 --> 00:15:46,500
Tell me the truth.
398
00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:48,540
I love it.
Are you sure?
399
00:15:48,540 --> 00:15:49,710
'Cause I'm so hopped up
on hormones,
400
00:15:49,710 --> 00:15:51,590
I don't know who I am anymore.
401
00:15:51,590 --> 00:15:53,880
It's more flowers than usual.
402
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:55,550
You hate it.
403
00:15:55,550 --> 00:15:59,130
I look like a funeral wreath
for a drag queen.
404
00:15:59,130 --> 00:16:01,640
No, no, no, no, no, no.
You really pull it off.
405
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:04,430
I think so.
406
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:06,730
How many more of these shots
are you getting?
407
00:16:06,730 --> 00:16:08,560
Oh, only two to go.
408
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:10,190
Thank God.
409
00:16:11,660 --> 00:16:14,000
Wow! Look at you.
410
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,960
What's that supposed to mean?
411
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,840
Good luck.
412
00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:21,670
You all right?
413
00:16:21,670 --> 00:16:22,930
Yeah. Why?
414
00:16:22,930 --> 00:16:25,550
Well, this week
has been a little...
415
00:16:25,550 --> 00:16:28,350
"I'm dating Judy Garland."
416
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,680
Hey, you made me watch
that movie.
417
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:34,690
You think I'm crazy?
418
00:16:35,730 --> 00:16:36,980
(chuckles):
No.
419
00:16:36,980 --> 00:16:39,020
No. No, if anything,
420
00:16:39,020 --> 00:16:40,980
I think that,
not unlike Ms. Garland,
421
00:16:40,980 --> 00:16:42,650
you're-you're
under a lot of stress
422
00:16:42,650 --> 00:16:46,240
that the-the world
doesn't know about.
423
00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:51,410
Man, that movie
really had an impact on me.
424
00:16:52,450 --> 00:16:54,210
I'm freezing my eggs.
425
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:56,790
What?
426
00:16:56,790 --> 00:16:58,380
I'm jammed full of hormones,
427
00:16:58,380 --> 00:17:00,460
and I'm out
of my ever-lovin' mind.
428
00:17:00,460 --> 00:17:01,840
Oh.
429
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,470
Honey, why would you keep that
a secret?
430
00:17:04,470 --> 00:17:06,340
'Cause I thought if I told you,
431
00:17:06,340 --> 00:17:08,760
you'd feel like I was trying
to push a kid on you,
432
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:12,520
you'd dump me and then I'd be
sitting here with no boyfriend,
433
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,770
no baby and a fridge
full of Miracle Whip.
434
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,360
Okay. Um...
(clears throat)
435
00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:23,360
I'm gonna have to be extremely
careful with what I say here.
436
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,070
I love you.
437
00:17:25,070 --> 00:17:26,740
Yeah, that's good.
438
00:17:26,740 --> 00:17:28,570
Um...
439
00:17:28,570 --> 00:17:31,410
I was just... surprised.
440
00:17:31,410 --> 00:17:34,500
You know,
the-the baby stuff just...
441
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:35,830
caught me
a little off guard.
442
00:17:35,830 --> 00:17:37,710
I know. I'm so sorry.
443
00:17:37,710 --> 00:17:38,920
No, it's okay.
444
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,630
I see that this
is huge for you.
445
00:17:40,630 --> 00:17:42,380
You do?
446
00:17:42,380 --> 00:17:44,380
'Cause I was trying
to hide it.
447
00:17:45,510 --> 00:17:47,930
And you were doing
a masterful job.
448
00:17:47,930 --> 00:17:49,890
Now, look,
449
00:17:49,890 --> 00:17:51,600
I can admit that I'm...
450
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,390
probably not ready
to be a father.
451
00:17:53,390 --> 00:17:56,520
But... when I picture
my future,
452
00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:58,480
you're in it.
453
00:18:01,060 --> 00:18:02,980
I just want
to take our time,
454
00:18:02,980 --> 00:18:05,940
make sure
that we get it right.
455
00:18:07,610 --> 00:18:09,490
So you're fine with this
whole freezing eggs thing?
456
00:18:09,490 --> 00:18:11,330
Yeah, I think
it's a great idea.
457
00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:13,040
I love you.
458
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:15,620
(chuckles)
459
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:22,540
I don't have
to freeze anything, do I?
460
00:18:23,590 --> 00:18:25,460
No.
461
00:18:25,460 --> 00:18:27,930
Your stuff has the shelf life
of a Twinkie.
Oh.
462
00:18:27,930 --> 00:18:29,930
Great.
463
00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:38,510
(soothing music playing)
464
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:41,970
You know,
465
00:18:41,970 --> 00:18:43,180
when I heard "sugar scrub,"
466
00:18:43,180 --> 00:18:44,560
I thought it was crazy.
467
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,310
But I am clean,
I am relaxed
468
00:18:46,310 --> 00:18:49,850
and I taste
like an Abba-Zaba bar.
469
00:18:51,650 --> 00:18:55,940
Jill, this is a great way
to celebrate Wendy's promotion.
470
00:18:55,940 --> 00:18:58,070
Eh, too bad we all thought
471
00:18:58,070 --> 00:19:01,030
it was somebody else's job
to invite her.
472
00:19:01,030 --> 00:19:03,660
I'll make it up to her.
473
00:19:03,660 --> 00:19:05,870
I would like to be a part
of whatever that is.
474
00:19:05,870 --> 00:19:07,660
I'm just gonna say two words.
475
00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:09,790
Disney cruise.
476
00:19:09,790 --> 00:19:11,790
(phone rings)
477
00:19:13,130 --> 00:19:14,960
It's my fertility doctor.
478
00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:18,720
(exhales)
479
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:20,050
Hi, Dr. Dubois.
480
00:19:21,090 --> 00:19:22,640
Uh-huh.
481
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:23,850
Okay.
482
00:19:23,850 --> 00:19:25,680
Thanks for letting me know.
483
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:27,310
Bye-bye.
484
00:19:27,310 --> 00:19:28,850
So?
485
00:19:28,850 --> 00:19:30,350
What's our egg count?
486
00:19:30,350 --> 00:19:31,940
Zero.
487
00:19:31,940 --> 00:19:33,900
What?
488
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:36,110
None of them
were viable.
489
00:19:37,150 --> 00:19:39,240
CHRISTY:
Oh.
490
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,910
Jill, I'm sorry.
491
00:19:40,910 --> 00:19:43,370
"Are you okay?" is a
stupid question, but...
492
00:19:43,370 --> 00:19:44,830
are you?
493
00:19:45,870 --> 00:19:47,700
I don't know.
494
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:49,790
I mean, I have come
at this baby thing
495
00:19:49,790 --> 00:19:51,000
from so many
different angles,
496
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,210
and it's just
not happening.
497
00:19:53,210 --> 00:19:55,670
But you can try again.
498
00:19:55,670 --> 00:19:58,590
Maybe.
499
00:19:59,420 --> 00:20:01,590
You want to go home?
500
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,260
No.
501
00:20:06,260 --> 00:20:09,100
(voice breaking): I just want
to be with my friends.
34712
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