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1
00:00:01,827 --> 00:00:03,612
Hey. How's
my little buddy doing?
2
00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:06,919
Well, he's still got that goop
in his eye, but otherwise, fine.
3
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:08,965
I meant Tammy.
I miss her.
4
00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:11,359
Oh, please. You miss her
doing your job for you.
5
00:00:11,489 --> 00:00:13,709
Yeah, exactly.
So when do I get her back?
6
00:00:13,839 --> 00:00:16,233
Sorry, babe, Tammy's really
helping me get things ready
7
00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:19,062
for our grand opening.Isn't she a beaut?
8
00:00:19,193 --> 00:00:21,369
Hold on a second, Bon...
9
00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:23,066
Hey, really nice.
10
00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:24,981
I'll be in the men's room.
11
00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:26,069
Good choice.Oh, hey.
12
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,766
You looking for high arc,
13
00:00:27,897 --> 00:00:30,204
low arc, straight shot?
14
00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:32,597
Your call.
15
00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:35,557
He trusts me. Sweet!
16
00:00:35,687 --> 00:00:38,734
Oh, my God, you've got her
installing toilets?
17
00:00:38,864 --> 00:00:40,562
That's so degrading.
18
00:00:40,692 --> 00:00:41,911
Yeah. What do youneed her for?
19
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,566
Installing a toilet.
Love you. Bye.
20
00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:47,221
If my fiancé didn't have
oral sex down to a science
21
00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:49,745
I would've left him
a long time ago.
22
00:00:49,875 --> 00:00:52,487
So, this is
my mother, Bonnie.
23
00:00:52,617 --> 00:00:54,924
Mom, this is Stacy.Hi.
24
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,100
Nice to meet you. Ooh, I should
probably wash my hands first.
25
00:00:57,231 --> 00:00:59,407
I've been pulling rats
out of traps all morning.
26
00:00:59,537 --> 00:01:01,626
We're studying, Mom.Got it.
27
00:01:01,757 --> 00:01:03,628
Hey, Stacy, is that
your motorcycle out front?
28
00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:05,717
No.It's really cool.
29
00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:07,893
Sweet shade of blue,
real vintage-y vibe.
30
00:01:08,024 --> 00:01:09,156
Still not hers, Mom.
31
00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:10,766
Good. 'Cause I was gonna say,
32
00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:12,681
you're a little small
for a big bike like that.
33
00:01:12,811 --> 00:01:14,378
She drives a Prius, Mom.
34
00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:16,989
Prius, huh? Do strangers
just hop into your back seat
35
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,557
thinking you're an Uber driver?
36
00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:21,733
'Cause on the news,
they say that happens a lot.Mom!
37
00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:23,300
Christy!
38
00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:26,086
[sighs]:
Sorry.
39
00:01:26,216 --> 00:01:28,044
It's okay. I have
one of those, too.
40
00:01:28,175 --> 00:01:29,872
Oh, you don't have one of those.
41
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,743
No one's got one of those.
42
00:01:31,874 --> 00:01:34,137
Do you listen to that podcast,
The Mother of All Problems?
43
00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:36,052
No. What is it?This woman tells
44
00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:37,662
these crazy-ass stories
about her mother.
45
00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:39,011
It'll make you grateful
for the mom you have.
46
00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:40,970
BONNIE: Christy!
47
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,493
I'm stranded on the bowl!
48
00:01:42,624 --> 00:01:44,843
Need another roll!
49
00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:46,497
Oh, I love it when this happens.
50
00:01:46,628 --> 00:01:49,065
Sometimes I get a whole hour.
51
00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:54,026
[upbeat music plays]
52
00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:55,811
WOMAN:
Hey, listeners.
53
00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:58,422
Welcome to my podcast,
The Mother of All Problems.
54
00:01:58,553 --> 00:02:00,120
I'm your host, Violet.
55
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:01,643
Violet? My Violet?
56
00:02:01,773 --> 00:02:03,514
The holidays are
around the corner,
57
00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:05,777
so great time
to dive into horror stories
58
00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:07,953
about growing up
with a drunken stripper
59
00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:10,652
who I unfortunately
had to call Mommy.
60
00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:14,177
Wait, I'mthe Mother
of All Problems?!
61
00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:16,223
♪
62
00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:28,670
So, when does
Adam's bar open?
63
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,280
One week from today.
64
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:32,630
I can't believe our dream
is finally coming true.
65
00:02:32,761 --> 00:02:34,197
Wait a minute--
your dream?
66
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,199
You've been complaining
since he bought it.
67
00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:38,375
That's not how I remember it.
68
00:02:38,506 --> 00:02:40,508
You said Adam has
no experience,
69
00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:43,206
no business plan, and I
quote, "He's so stupid,
70
00:02:43,337 --> 00:02:45,339
I can't believe
how stupid he is."
71
00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:48,559
I said, "That's not
how I remember it."
72
00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:51,171
My daughter has a podcast
73
00:02:51,301 --> 00:02:52,998
about what
a terrible mother I am.
74
00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:54,522
[laughing]JILL:
Oh, my God.
75
00:02:54,652 --> 00:02:56,524
Sorry. Mm-mmm.
76
00:02:56,654 --> 00:02:58,221
Tell us everything.
77
00:02:58,352 --> 00:03:00,658
Well, I was bitching
to my study partner
78
00:03:00,789 --> 00:03:02,399
about what
a horrible mom you are,
79
00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:05,446
and she told me about this
podcast that would cheer me up.
80
00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:08,318
It did not.
81
00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:10,625
Violet never
mentioned it to you?
82
00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:12,627
We haven't spoken
in over a year.
83
00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:15,195
She asked for space,
and, being the healthy mother
84
00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:17,893
in recovery that I am,
I knew it was important
85
00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:19,286
to respect her wishes.
86
00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:23,551
And she changed her number.
87
00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:25,248
How bad is it?
88
00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:27,294
Really bad.
Couldn't be worse.
89
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:29,078
She tells the truth.
90
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,166
[laughing]
91
00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:34,953
What? The irony of this
is delicious.
92
00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:38,566
VIOLET:
I remember this one night
93
00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:41,003
my mom barged into my room,
drunk off her ass,
94
00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:43,440
and started yelling at me
for stealing her car.
95
00:03:43,571 --> 00:03:46,269
Turned out she left the car
at a 7-Eleven,
96
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,663
which I figured out
while cleaning up the Slurpee
97
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:50,360
she threw up in my closet.
98
00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:53,058
Wild cherry,
if anyone was wondering.
99
00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:55,974
So, cheer up,
Lisa from Portland,
100
00:03:56,105 --> 00:03:57,802
your mom's minivan
getting repossessed
101
00:03:57,933 --> 00:03:59,674
might be a good thing.
102
00:03:59,804 --> 00:04:01,371
Our next e-mail isTurn it off.
103
00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:02,764
from Dan in Tex...
104
00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:04,287
I have to move.
105
00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:06,768
Are they sending people
to Mars yet?
106
00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:10,119
Honey, I know
this is hard.
107
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,730
I remember how
humiliating it was
108
00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:14,384
when my son
brought a picture of me
109
00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:16,125
to school
for show and tell.
110
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,126
What's wrong with that?
111
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,475
It was my mug shot.
112
00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:21,609
Okay, that's bad.
113
00:04:21,739 --> 00:04:23,524
But Violet is telling
thousands of people
114
00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,221
every awful thing I ever did.
115
00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:26,701
Hundreds of thousands.
116
00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:28,311
Wendy!Wendy!
Wendy!
117
00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,749
The episodes have
clever titles.
118
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,143
Let's listen to "Jell-O Shots
and the Truth About Santa."
119
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,579
That's enough.
We're done listening.
120
00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:36,798
Thanks.JILL:
Ooh! There's one called
121
00:04:36,928 --> 00:04:38,930
"My Grandmother,
the Life Preserver."
122
00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:40,932
Well, maybe we have time
for one more.
123
00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:47,112
No. Please don't tell
the school bus story.
124
00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:48,766
Not true!
125
00:04:48,897 --> 00:04:51,900
Only one of my boobs popped out!
126
00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:53,423
Still going, huh?
127
00:04:53,554 --> 00:04:55,469
I can't stop.
I keep thinking,
128
00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:58,167
"Maybe in the next episode
she'll say something nice."
129
00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,734
Quit torturing yourself.
130
00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:02,650
Easy for you to say-- she
calls you the Life Preserver.
131
00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:04,347
I know. It's so sweet.
132
00:05:04,478 --> 00:05:06,828
Adorable. I just wish Violet
would hate me to my face
133
00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,830
and stop venting
for the world to hear.
134
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,353
Look, you've got two choices.
135
00:05:10,484 --> 00:05:12,355
You can either keep
listening to the podcast
136
00:05:12,486 --> 00:05:15,402
and feel for yourself, or
you could just call her.
137
00:05:16,707 --> 00:05:18,535
You're right.
138
00:05:21,582 --> 00:05:24,106
Okay, you have
one choice.
139
00:05:24,236 --> 00:05:26,848
How can I call her?
I don't even have her number.
140
00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:28,719
She changed it, because--
in case you forgot--
141
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:30,721
I am the Mother of All Problems.
142
00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:32,854
I have her number.What?
143
00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:35,204
Well, it's not called The
Grandmother of All Problems.
144
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,032
In fact, you should
145
00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:39,382
call her from my phone.
That way she'll answer.
146
00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:42,429
God, you're shady.What are you waiting for?
147
00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:44,039
I need to figure out
what I'm gonna say first.
148
00:05:44,169 --> 00:05:45,736
Don't think about it.
Just speak from your heart.
149
00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,216
Also, it's ringing.
150
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,305
[groans]
Oh, good. Voice mail.
151
00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:51,394
Just don't do that weird thing
you always do.
152
00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:53,701
What weird thing?
Hi! Violet!
153
00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:55,137
It's me, your mom.
154
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:56,312
Uh...
155
00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:57,966
so, doot-dah-doo...
156
00:05:58,096 --> 00:05:59,097
That's the weird thing.
157
00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:02,057
So, heard your podcast.
158
00:06:02,187 --> 00:06:04,799
Would love to chitty-chat
about that.
159
00:06:04,929 --> 00:06:06,888
Or anything.
[chuckles]
160
00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:09,151
I haven't talked to you
in such a long time.
161
00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:11,632
Of course, I'm not the one
who changed her number.
162
00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:14,548
But not pointing fingers.
163
00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:17,942
Doot-dah-doo.
164
00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:22,033
Hey, good news.
165
00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:24,601
I'm in law school now.
[chuckles]
166
00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:27,691
Yep. Learnin' about torts.
167
00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:30,215
Turns out
they're not just dessert.
168
00:06:30,346 --> 00:06:32,043
Wrap it up.
169
00:06:32,174 --> 00:06:34,568
Okay, well, uh...
170
00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:36,700
it's me, your mom, Christy.
171
00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:40,225
End of voice mail.
172
00:06:40,356 --> 00:06:42,532
Boy, I was wrong-- you should
have thought about it first.
173
00:06:45,709 --> 00:06:47,537
Wow!
174
00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:50,540
[gasps]
This place looks fantastic!
175
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:53,282
It's even better
than we dreamed it.
176
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,589
[slurring]:
I made a huge mistake.
177
00:06:55,719 --> 00:06:57,895
Well, I'm not
giving the ring back.
178
00:06:58,026 --> 00:06:59,462
The bar.
179
00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:01,464
This is never
gonna work, lady.
180
00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:03,771
What happened here?
181
00:07:03,901 --> 00:07:05,468
I was picking beers.
182
00:07:05,599 --> 00:07:08,166
By drinking them.
183
00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:11,779
So many people are gonna
have to come in this place
184
00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:14,564
and spend so much money
for this joint to work.
185
00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:16,174
This chair...
186
00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:19,090
has to bring in a
thousand dollars a week,
187
00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:21,789
and-and this chair
and this chair...
188
00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:23,965
and nobody's gonna want
to sit in that chair,
189
00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:26,010
'cause it's right under
the air conditioning.
190
00:07:27,621 --> 00:07:29,797
Aw, honey,
I think you're just having
191
00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:32,103
a case of pre-opening jitters.
Completely normal.
192
00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:35,150
I have no experience,
and I spent all of my money.
193
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:36,760
Why would I do that?
194
00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:38,980
Well, that's exactly what...
195
00:07:39,110 --> 00:07:41,199
Okay.
196
00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:43,375
When I asked you
that very question,
197
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:45,813
you confidently replied
that you have a dream
198
00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:47,379
that's important to you,
199
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:49,947
and you want to feel like
your life has purpose again.
200
00:07:50,078 --> 00:07:51,862
"Purpose" sounds like
"porpoise."
201
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:53,647
[footsteps approaching]
202
00:07:53,777 --> 00:07:55,649
Hey, boss,
your coasters just arrived.
203
00:07:55,779 --> 00:07:59,914
Ugh. I bought 10,000 of 'em--
10,000!
204
00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:02,482
The delivery guy
needs a check, so...Not now!
205
00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:05,876
Oh. Family drama.
I'll go flirt with him.
206
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:08,357
Do you know how many
drinks I have to sell
207
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,141
to use 10,000 coasters?
208
00:08:10,272 --> 00:08:11,578
Ten thousand?
209
00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:13,101
I don't know, maybe.
210
00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:16,408
Look at me.
211
00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:17,845
Adam, look at me.
212
00:08:17,975 --> 00:08:20,021
You have overcome
far bigger obstacles
213
00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:21,805
than opening a bar.
214
00:08:21,936 --> 00:08:24,242
You were a successful
Hollywood stuntman.
215
00:08:24,373 --> 00:08:26,070
How many people can say that?
216
00:08:26,201 --> 00:08:28,812
You fought your way back
from a terrible accident.
217
00:08:28,943 --> 00:08:30,510
How many people
can say that?
218
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,555
You are in a successful
relationship with me,
219
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:36,167
and I can tell you, no one
has ever been able to say that.
220
00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:37,865
I hired waitresses.
221
00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:39,562
I hired a bartender.
222
00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:43,435
They're gonna want to
be paid-- with money.
223
00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:44,915
You're gonna make it work,
224
00:08:45,046 --> 00:08:46,961
and you're not
gonna do it alone.
225
00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:48,832
I know.
I hired waitresses.
226
00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:50,921
I hired a bartender. I...Now...
227
00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:52,444
zip, zip, zip it.
228
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:55,622
The point is this bar
is gonna be a huge success.
229
00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:57,319
It's gonna blow up!
230
00:08:57,449 --> 00:09:01,149
Yes. We could blow it up and
collect the insurance money.
231
00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:02,977
[groans]:
That's ridiculous.
232
00:09:03,107 --> 00:09:05,109
It's also much more
difficult than you think.
233
00:09:07,111 --> 00:09:11,028
Okay, State of Washington
v. International Shoe.Go.
234
00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:14,075
Stacy.
235
00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:15,642
I wasn't gonna say anything,
236
00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:17,208
but I know who you are.
237
00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:19,254
You're the Mother
of All Problems.
238
00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:21,473
[quietly]:
Son of a bitch.
239
00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:24,738
How'd you find out?
240
00:09:24,868 --> 00:09:27,479
I guess you haven't listened
to today's podcast.
241
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:31,005
VIOLET:
So, my mom left me a voice mail.
242
00:09:31,135 --> 00:09:34,530
I can't tell if it's sincere
or deeply manipulative.
243
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:35,923
So you decide.
244
00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:36,924
Oh, no.
245
00:09:37,054 --> 00:09:38,752
CHRISTY:
Hi! Violet!
246
00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:42,364
It's me, your mom.
247
00:09:42,494 --> 00:09:45,410
So, um...
248
00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:46,934
doot-dah-doo...
249
00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:48,631
Turn it off.
250
00:09:48,762 --> 00:09:51,112
I... know this may not be
the best time to ask,
251
00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:53,636
but did you really take her
to a birthday party
252
00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:55,420
and not come back for two days?
253
00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:58,032
Yes. But the family
I left her with
254
00:09:58,162 --> 00:10:00,774
gave her sushi for the
first time that weekend.
255
00:10:00,904 --> 00:10:02,427
Does she mention that?
256
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:05,561
I'm asking. Does
she mention that?
257
00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:07,476
[door closes in distance]Sorry.
258
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,479
Wow. Stacy. Well,
259
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,395
I got to tell you, you're back
and the motorcycle's back.
260
00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:15,876
If it's really not yours,
somebody's following you.
261
00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:18,052
Oh, my God,
you're the Life Preserver.
262
00:10:18,182 --> 00:10:20,141
Yes, I am.
Would you like a picture?
263
00:10:20,271 --> 00:10:21,316
Yes.
264
00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:22,839
Honey, do you mind?
265
00:10:24,536 --> 00:10:26,321
[sighs]
266
00:10:27,539 --> 00:10:29,193
Scrunch together.
267
00:10:36,505 --> 00:10:38,986
I thought I was leaving
that voice mail for one person,
268
00:10:39,116 --> 00:10:40,074
not everyone in the world.
269
00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:41,336
I have a question.
270
00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:42,859
What's "doot-dah-doo"?
271
00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:46,341
Not now, Jill.
272
00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:48,169
I thought when I got sober
all this stuff
273
00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:49,387
with Violet would get better.
274
00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:51,172
Well, you'vegotten better.
275
00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:53,827
You're not who you were,
and that's a big deal.
276
00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:55,611
I just wish she could see that.
277
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:56,612
You should tell her.
278
00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:57,918
But in person.
279
00:10:58,048 --> 00:11:01,269
Doot-dah-do not
leave another message.
280
00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:03,445
What do you think, Marjorie?
281
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:05,621
I might be
the wrong person to ask.
282
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:08,450
I don't have a relationship
with my son.
283
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:11,279
So all I can do is focus
on my sobriety
284
00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:13,803
and hope that one day
he'll forgive me.
285
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:16,284
Oh, poo to that.
286
00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:19,940
My mom died before we were able
to figure out our stuff.
287
00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:22,333
Don't wait.
You could die, Christy.
288
00:11:23,857 --> 00:11:27,512
And call your son, 'cause you're
definitely gonna die before her.
289
00:11:27,643 --> 00:11:30,385
New bar opening this Friday.
Free wings with this flyer.
290
00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:32,126
New bar. Free wings.
291
00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:33,475
Flyer. Free.
292
00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:35,129
Wings. New.
293
00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:37,348
Where have you been?
294
00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:39,002
Trying to make sure
Adam doesn't go broke
295
00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:40,569
because of his stupid idea.
296
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,484
But you said it was
a dream you shared.
297
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:44,355
[groans]
Not how I remember it.
298
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,663
You are each responsible
299
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,970
for bringing ten people
to the opening.
300
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:51,841
So, what'd I miss?
301
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,277
My death is imminent.
302
00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:57,891
Jill and Wendy think
I should go see Violet.
303
00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:00,720
I agree.Even if I wanted to,
I don't know where she lives.
304
00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:02,373
I do. I mean, I could
probably figure it out.
305
00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:03,984
Okay, I've been there.
306
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:16,953
This is the part
where you knock.
307
00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:19,129
I'm too nervous.
You do it.
308
00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:25,614
What the hell was that?
309
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,964
I don't know.
You made me overthink it.
310
00:12:29,139 --> 00:12:31,620
Hi, Grandma.Violet. Mm!
311
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,318
Hi, Violet.Hi.
312
00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:37,017
You weren't supposed to
tell her where I live.
313
00:12:37,147 --> 00:12:39,019
I'm sorry, but I was caught
in the middle,
314
00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:42,065
and my instinct
is always to heal.
315
00:12:42,196 --> 00:12:44,372
It's not Grandma's fault.
I made her tell me.
316
00:12:44,502 --> 00:12:46,983
Well, you're here,
so... come on in.
317
00:12:48,332 --> 00:12:51,640
Ah. Oh, this is a great setup.
318
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,860
Luke must be doing well.
319
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,862
Actually, Mom, Luke isn't
in the picture anymore.
320
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:57,298
But thank you for assuming
321
00:12:57,428 --> 00:12:59,517
I couldn't pull this off
on my own.
322
00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:01,911
Strike one.You're doing great.
323
00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:06,220
So...
324
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:09,005
you are obviously here
to talk about the podcast.
325
00:13:09,136 --> 00:13:10,224
Yes, I am.
326
00:13:10,354 --> 00:13:11,529
So...?
327
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:13,053
So...
328
00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:14,881
I know you had
a difficult childhood,
329
00:13:15,011 --> 00:13:17,231
and I'm glad you found a way
to process it.
330
00:13:17,361 --> 00:13:19,755
I don't really need
your approval, but okay.
331
00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:24,107
Here's the thing
you need to know.[crunching]
332
00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:30,810
What? You know
I love pretzels.
333
00:13:32,072 --> 00:13:34,378
The person you've
been talking about
334
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:37,599
isn't who I am anymore.
I've changed.
335
00:13:39,296 --> 00:13:42,822
[muffled]:
It's true, she has.
336
00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:45,868
But the podcast is about being
raised by an alcoholic mother,
337
00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:48,218
which I was--
the damage is already done.
338
00:13:48,349 --> 00:13:50,046
She's got you there.
339
00:13:50,177 --> 00:13:51,743
Well...
340
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:54,311
can you at least tell
your listeners I'm sober now
341
00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:56,618
and trying to clean up
the mess I made?
342
00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:58,620
I got to say, that
seems reasonable.
343
00:13:58,750 --> 00:13:59,708
Okay.
344
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,362
Thank you.
345
00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:04,539
Put these on,
talk into this,
346
00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:06,628
and if you're chewing
any gum, spit it out.
347
00:14:06,758 --> 00:14:07,890
What's happening?
348
00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:09,457
We're doing a podcast.
349
00:14:09,587 --> 00:14:11,328
If you want people to hear
your side, tell them.
350
00:14:11,459 --> 00:14:13,591
Oh. You can't just
do an episode called
351
00:14:13,722 --> 00:14:15,898
"My Mom's
Doin' Good Now"?No.
352
00:14:16,029 --> 00:14:19,249
Wait. This is all you need,
and you make money from it?
353
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:20,468
Not a ton, but yeah.
354
00:14:20,598 --> 00:14:22,383
I am definitely
starting a podcast.
355
00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:24,559
Sober woman marrying
a guy in a wheelchair,
356
00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:27,344
sing a couple of songs--
something for everybody.
357
00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:29,738
And here we... go.
358
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,740
I'm not ready.It's okay.
Take your time.
359
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,524
Three, two, one.
360
00:14:33,655 --> 00:14:34,874
Hello, people.
361
00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:37,920
While I was deciding whether
or not to talk to my mom,
362
00:14:38,051 --> 00:14:40,575
she took that choice away
from me by showing up.
363
00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:42,533
So now here she is
with her side.
364
00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:46,407
That's you.
You're her mom.
365
00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:49,018
Um, okay.
366
00:14:51,064 --> 00:14:52,892
Hello.
367
00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:55,546
I, uh, I'm Christie,
368
00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:57,374
and, um...
369
00:14:57,505 --> 00:15:01,248
I'm Violet's, um, mom,
370
00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:02,989
and, um...
371
00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:05,817
Wait, I said "um" too much.
Can we start it again?
372
00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:07,341
No.
373
00:15:07,471 --> 00:15:09,038
Okay. Um...
374
00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:12,955
Well, I guess
if I'm gonna tell my side,
375
00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:14,696
I should start at the beginning.
376
00:15:14,826 --> 00:15:16,698
I was conceived in a van.
377
00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:18,700
Well, technically,
it was a minibus,
378
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,441
and it was way more
normal for people
379
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:22,399
to have sex in
vehicles back then.
380
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,927
Also, this is Life Preserver.
Hello to all my fans.
381
00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:32,279
I'm actually sponsoring
three women.
382
00:15:32,409 --> 00:15:35,195
They call me with their
problems, and I help them.
383
00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:37,806
So what I'm trying
to say is yes,
384
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:41,331
all those horrible stories
you've told about me are true.
385
00:15:41,462 --> 00:15:43,855
But... nowadays,
my idea of a good time
386
00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:46,946
is hitting a meeting and going
to coffee with my friends.
387
00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:50,036
I've changed.
388
00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:52,342
If I say I'm gonna
be somewhere, I'm there.
389
00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:55,519
I pay my bills.
I keep my promises.
390
00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:57,391
That's who I am now.
391
00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:00,263
Anyway...
392
00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:01,786
that's my side.
393
00:16:01,917 --> 00:16:04,180
Thanks for letting me tell it.
394
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:09,055
First, I want to say, um...
395
00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:11,057
you sound really good.
396
00:16:11,187 --> 00:16:13,581
Clearly, you've done
a lot of work on yourself,
397
00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:15,278
and I'm happy for you.
398
00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:16,932
Thanks.
399
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:19,108
But here's the thing.
400
00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:23,330
I missed out on being a child.
401
00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:27,943
When most kids were
just showing up to school
402
00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:29,858
and focusing on algebra,
I was always worried
403
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,773
about what was going on at home.
404
00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:33,775
I could never
bring friends over,
405
00:16:33,905 --> 00:16:36,256
because I didn't know
what we would be walking into.
406
00:16:36,386 --> 00:16:38,258
When I should have
just been going to ballet
407
00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:39,824
and Rollerblading,
408
00:16:39,955 --> 00:16:41,957
I was the one that was home
cleaning the house
409
00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:44,220
and cooking dinner and
making sure that bills got paid.
410
00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:48,268
I would see you passed out
on the couch
411
00:16:48,398 --> 00:16:50,313
and not even know
if you were gonna wake up.
412
00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:53,795
I worried about stuff
413
00:16:53,925 --> 00:16:56,667
that no kid should
ever have to worry about.
414
00:16:59,757 --> 00:17:01,803
Violet, I am so sorry.
415
00:17:01,933 --> 00:17:03,892
I wish I could go back in time
416
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,025
and be the mother you deserved.
417
00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:10,855
I wish that, too.
418
00:17:12,422 --> 00:17:14,903
What do you say
we build from here?
419
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,601
I really want to be
in your life.
420
00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:21,040
Actually, it's been really good
not having you in my life.
421
00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:25,740
I'm finally in a healthy place
right now, and I think
422
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:27,437
that what would be best for me
is to not
423
00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:29,004
have a relationship with you.
424
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,702
[softly]:
Oh.
425
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:35,141
But thank you so much
for coming on the podcast.
426
00:17:36,838 --> 00:17:39,058
Okay.
427
00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:47,849
Seriously,
thank you for doing that.
428
00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:50,156
It's actually gonna be
a really good episode.
429
00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:52,723
So we're done?
430
00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:55,248
Yeah. It was great
to see you, Grandma.
431
00:17:55,378 --> 00:17:57,772
It's great to see
you, too, sweetie.
432
00:17:57,902 --> 00:17:59,165
Bye, Mom.
433
00:17:59,295 --> 00:18:00,775
Bye.
434
00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:14,223
You okay?Mm.
435
00:18:15,877 --> 00:18:17,661
[sighs]:
Mm.
436
00:18:17,792 --> 00:18:19,663
[both sigh]
437
00:18:19,794 --> 00:18:22,057
I know that's...
438
00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:25,887
not how you wanted that
to go down, but...
439
00:18:26,017 --> 00:18:28,585
remember...
440
00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:30,239
five years ago,
441
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:32,589
this right here wouldn't
have been possible.
442
00:18:45,428 --> 00:18:47,430
♪
443
00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:52,131
I'm sure you'd
rather be at home
444
00:18:52,261 --> 00:18:53,480
curled up in the
fetal position,
445
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:55,743
watching The Real
Housewives of...
446
00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:57,223
somewhere...
447
00:18:57,353 --> 00:19:00,095
but it means a lot to me
that you showed up.
448
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:02,793
It's okay. Kind of
like the old days,
449
00:19:02,924 --> 00:19:05,796
only now I'm drowning
my sorrows in hot wings.[chuckles]
450
00:19:05,927 --> 00:19:07,189
And these are hot.Yeah.
451
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,713
I actually can't
feel my lips.
452
00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:11,150
You know...
453
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,108
the podcast
hasn't aired yet.
454
00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:15,110
I could break into
Violet's apartment,
455
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:17,068
destroy the tapes--
problem solved.
456
00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:20,985
First of all,
no one uses tapes anymore.
457
00:19:21,116 --> 00:19:23,640
And also, I don't want
to destroy the podcast.
458
00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:27,122
It's helping her.
And probably other people.
459
00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:30,778
Ah, look at you, eating chicken
and taking the high road.
460
00:19:32,127 --> 00:19:33,607
You know...
461
00:19:33,737 --> 00:19:36,871
all of this has made me realize
I owe you an apology.
462
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:38,438
Awesome.
463
00:19:38,568 --> 00:19:39,787
Why?
464
00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:42,398
Because I focused too much
on who you were
465
00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:45,575
and not enough on the person
you've become. I'm sorry.
466
00:19:45,706 --> 00:19:47,925
Aw. Thank you.
467
00:19:48,056 --> 00:19:49,492
So from here on out,
468
00:19:49,623 --> 00:19:51,799
I promise I will
only get mad at you
469
00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:53,627
for the things you do
in the present.
470
00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:57,239
And I promise to give you
plenty to work with.
471
00:19:59,807 --> 00:20:01,678
Hey.
You use the urinal?
472
00:20:01,809 --> 00:20:02,636
Yeah.
473
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:04,812
Were you happy
with the trajectory?
474
00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:07,684
I guess.
475
00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:10,034
Hot guy says yes.
476
00:20:12,733 --> 00:20:15,257
There he is,
Mr. Successful Bar Owner.
477
00:20:15,388 --> 00:20:17,607
Oh, you must be thrilled.
Look at all the people.
478
00:20:17,738 --> 00:20:18,956
Yeah, yeah, big turnout.
479
00:20:19,087 --> 00:20:20,044
I did that.
480
00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:21,394
Yes, you did.
481
00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:23,874
You brought
75 sober people to a bar.
482
00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:27,008
I'm running out of Diet Coke.
483
00:20:27,138 --> 00:20:29,489
Also, next time you
promise everyone free wings,
484
00:20:29,619 --> 00:20:30,968
don't do that.
485
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:33,580
Hey, congratulations.
486
00:20:33,710 --> 00:20:35,582
Yeah, this place
is so cute.
487
00:20:35,712 --> 00:20:37,018
Thanks.
What can I get you ladies?
488
00:20:37,148 --> 00:20:39,542
An iced tea.
Me too.Cranberry juice.
489
00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:43,154
I don't have an infection.
I just like it.
490
00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:47,550
I sunk my life savings
into a lemonade stand.
491
00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:50,597
Okay, so, a guy
asked me for my number.
492
00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:53,034
I have a date. Or he wants me
to do work on his house.
493
00:20:53,164 --> 00:20:54,340
But either way, yay!
494
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:56,037
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
495
00:21:03,174 --> 00:21:06,177
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
35482
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