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1
00:00:04,482 --> 00:00:08,878
So, I have what I've been told
is a moral dilemma.
2
00:00:08,921 --> 00:00:12,186
Whatever your gut is telling
you, do the opposite.
3
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:14,579
That's what I thought at first,
so I switched,
4
00:00:14,623 --> 00:00:17,017
but that made me think
I should switch again.
5
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,366
So now where am I?
6
00:00:18,409 --> 00:00:19,628
I'm going back
to my phone.
7
00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:21,586
Give me a nudge
when she gets to it.
8
00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:23,980
Patrick's getting married.
9
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,851
And the phone is down.
10
00:00:25,895 --> 00:00:28,550
I feel like he and Christy
just broke up.
11
00:00:28,593 --> 00:00:29,725
They did.
12
00:00:29,768 --> 00:00:31,248
Men are pigs.
13
00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:33,381
Unless he reconnected
with a long-lost love.
14
00:00:33,424 --> 00:00:35,383
In that case, aw.
15
00:00:35,426 --> 00:00:37,211
It's the fitness model.
16
00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:39,387
He hid the ring
in her "a-sigh" bowl.
17
00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:41,432
It thought it was "a-kye."
18
00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:43,260
You're both wrong.
It's "ah-sigh-ee."
19
00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:45,436
Who cares how you say it?
20
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,264
It's just sherbert.
21
00:00:47,308 --> 00:00:49,005
Actually, it's "sher-bit."
22
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,268
Okay, good-bye.
23
00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:53,053
Stop.
24
00:00:53,096 --> 00:00:55,229
How's Christy taking it?
25
00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:56,665
She doesn't know.
26
00:00:56,708 --> 00:00:58,667
Welcome to
the aforementioned dilemma.
27
00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:00,103
Why haven't you told her?
28
00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:02,671
Because Adam's taking me away
for a romantic weekend
29
00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:04,412
at a spa resort in Reno.
30
00:01:04,455 --> 00:01:05,282
Ooh...
Oh...
Oh...
31
00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:08,024
In theory, "Oh..."
32
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,982
But how can I enjoy
making sweet love to Adam
33
00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:11,419
in our room
with partial mountain view
34
00:01:11,462 --> 00:01:13,899
when I keep getting FaceTimed
by a puffy-eyed Christy?
35
00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:16,337
Partial view?
36
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:18,339
I thought he loved you.
37
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,776
Go back to your phone.
38
00:01:20,819 --> 00:01:22,647
Bonnie, part of
being a mother
39
00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:24,519
is putting your
child before you.
40
00:01:24,562 --> 00:01:26,173
That child is 40 years old,
41
00:01:26,216 --> 00:01:29,045
and this child has never had
a hot stone massage.
42
00:01:30,568 --> 00:01:32,048
Oh, Marjorie,
it's just two days.
43
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,702
Let her have some fun.
44
00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:36,139
She's looking at a lifetime
of partial views.
45
00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:38,054
Exactly. I can just as easily
46
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,012
crush my daughter's world
on Monday.
47
00:01:40,056 --> 00:01:42,972
And maybe bring her
a Reno snow globe
to soften the blow.
48
00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:44,278
She hates those things.
49
00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:46,497
Not everyonedoes.
50
00:01:49,326 --> 00:01:50,980
[whispers]: Dilemma over.
I think she knows.
51
00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:53,025
We can't be sure.
It might be something I did.
52
00:01:53,069 --> 00:01:54,549
Oh, please be
something I did.
53
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:56,986
What's the matter, honey?
54
00:01:57,029 --> 00:01:58,988
Patrick's getting married.
55
00:01:59,031 --> 00:02:01,338
[sniffles]
He posted on Instagram.
56
00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:04,472
He gave her a ring
in an "ah-cha-chi" bowl.
57
00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:06,126
Actually...
58
00:02:06,169 --> 00:02:07,257
Let her have this.
59
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:12,262
♪
60
00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:30,541
♪
61
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:35,894
[blows]
62
00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:40,334
You want a hit?
63
00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:43,685
No. No, thanks. I already had
a log of cookie dough for lunch.
64
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:46,818
I just don't understand
65
00:02:46,862 --> 00:02:49,647
how Patrick
can get over me so fast.
66
00:02:49,691 --> 00:02:52,259
I'm a catch.
67
00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:55,262
It's not you-- my brother
just can't live alone.
68
00:02:55,305 --> 00:02:57,438
So what,
he'll just marry anyone?
69
00:02:57,481 --> 00:02:59,788
What do the towels
in his bathroom say?
70
00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:01,746
"His and Whoever"?
71
00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:05,272
Babe, you're just taking shorts
and T-shirts to Reno, right?
72
00:03:05,315 --> 00:03:08,013
Yeah. It's gonna be hot.Oh. It's gonna be hot.
73
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,538
Oh. Right.
74
00:03:10,581 --> 00:03:12,496
[whispers]:
It's gonna be sohot.
75
00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:15,456
I can still hear you.
76
00:03:15,499 --> 00:03:17,327
Honey, are you gonna be
okay this weekend?
77
00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:19,068
Why don't you make plans
with the girls?
78
00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:21,070
Jill's busy, Wendy's working,
79
00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:23,246
and Marjorie and Victor
are spending the weekend
80
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:24,856
rediscovering their love.
81
00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:27,119
Oosh.
Ugh.
[shudders]
82
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:31,211
[sighs]
I need some chocolate syrup.
83
00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:33,604
This isn't sweet enough.
84
00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:35,302
I'm worried about her.
85
00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:37,565
Me, too. You think
we should postpone this trip?
86
00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:40,089
No way. I can still worry about
her while I'm on top of you
87
00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:41,743
looking at some mountain
and some parking lot.
88
00:03:41,786 --> 00:03:44,311
You know, honey, we could
go away together anytime.
89
00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:46,226
I would not take it
personally
90
00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:47,879
if you went with
her instead of me.
91
00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:50,317
[clicks tongue]
You're so sweet.
92
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:51,883
So what's the sporting event
93
00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:53,929
you don't want to miss
this weekend?
94
00:03:53,972 --> 00:03:56,018
I'll admit,
when I booked this trip,
95
00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:58,238
that I did not know
Edmonton and Calgary
96
00:03:58,281 --> 00:04:00,065
would make it to a game seven.
97
00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:01,980
And let me guess--
those two teams
98
00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:03,678
don't like each other very much.
99
00:04:03,721 --> 00:04:05,854
Oh, it's gonna get
a little chippy.
100
00:04:05,897 --> 00:04:07,899
But I really do think
that you should take her
101
00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:09,292
and get her mind off Patrick.
102
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,641
Trust me, she's gonna be okay.
103
00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:12,034
She's stronger than she looks,
104
00:04:12,077 --> 00:04:14,602
thanks to a lifetime
of disappointment.
105
00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:17,692
We didn't have
any chocolate syrup,
106
00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:21,217
so I just rolled it
in sugar and Froot Loops.
107
00:04:22,392 --> 00:04:25,830
I might have invented
something great.
108
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:28,137
♪
109
00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:32,054
You are so lucky
to have Adam.
110
00:04:32,097 --> 00:04:34,839
What a sweet guy
to give up his trip for me.
111
00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:36,711
He shouldn't get
the credit for this.
112
00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:38,365
This was my idea.
113
00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:40,671
He pushed back pretty
hard, but I said, "No,
114
00:04:40,715 --> 00:04:43,065
my Christy needs this."
115
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:46,286
I half believed you
until you said "my Christy."
116
00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,680
Yeah, I got greedy.
117
00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:52,727
You know, it'd be a lot easier
for you to forget Patrick
118
00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:54,729
if you got off his
Instagram page.
119
00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:56,557
I'm not looking at him.
120
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,776
I'm looking at the giant ring
he gave her.
121
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,909
How many karats
do you think that is?
122
00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:03,694
Am I focusing on
the massive one
123
00:05:03,738 --> 00:05:05,870
in the middle or the little
ones worshipping it?
124
00:05:05,914 --> 00:05:07,481
Not helpful.
125
00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:10,005
All it tells me is
someone's overcompensating.
126
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:11,528
Actually, no.
127
00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:14,270
He was pretty good
in that department.
Really?
128
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:17,578
He looks like a guy
who'd have a wee dingle.
129
00:05:17,621 --> 00:05:19,580
A wee dingle?
130
00:05:19,623 --> 00:05:23,148
Yeah. Like a strawberry
peeking up out of the leaves.
131
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:24,889
You can tell
by looking at a guy?
132
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:27,936
Measure the distance between
their eyes, multiply by three.
133
00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:32,375
This is what it
would look like on me.
134
00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:36,031
Yeah, but if you
took the ring,
135
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:38,207
you'd have to take the
guy that came with it,
136
00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:39,556
and you didn't want him.
137
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,516
[sighs]
You know what? You're right.
138
00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:43,778
I'm always right.
139
00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:47,695
Name one other time
you were right, ever.
140
00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:49,697
Titanic.
141
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:52,395
What, that you didn't go on it?
142
00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:54,005
The movie.
143
00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:56,051
Everyone said it was no good,
144
00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:58,662
and I said, "Give this
little boat picture a try."
145
00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:00,403
What are you talking about?
146
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:02,971
It's themost popular movie
of all time.
147
00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:04,364
Thanks to me.
148
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:12,284
♪ Somewhere out there
149
00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:17,768
♪ Beneath the pale moonlight
150
00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:19,335
♪ Why
151
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,119
♪ Do, dah-dah, dee...
152
00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:22,556
What are you doing?
153
00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:24,471
I'm singing the Titanicsong.
154
00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,560
That's Fievel, the mouse
from An American Tail.
155
00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:28,605
We'll rent it tonight.
You'll see.
156
00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:31,826
Ooh! Ice cream.
157
00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:33,349
What? We're almost there.
158
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,090
DQ! DQ!
Exit, exit, exit!
159
00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:37,309
No! You can get ice
cream at the hotel.
160
00:06:37,353 --> 00:06:39,442
We came here
to make me feel better,
161
00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:41,749
and a chocolate Blizzard
would make me feel better.
162
00:06:41,792 --> 00:06:43,272
[chanting]:
DQ! DQ!
163
00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:44,926
DQ! DQ! DQ!
164
00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:47,145
DQ! DQ!This may be why
I disappeared so much
165
00:06:47,189 --> 00:06:48,582
when you were a kid.DQ! DQ!
166
00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:51,672
DQ! DQ! DQ! DQ!
167
00:06:51,715 --> 00:06:58,461
♪ Even though I know
how very far apart we are ♪
168
00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:01,595
♪ It makes me happy to think
169
00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:06,469
♪ We might be wishing
on the same star... ♪
170
00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:08,689
What is happening here?
171
00:07:08,732 --> 00:07:12,432
Love theme from Titanic.
172
00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:15,913
What can I do you for, Officer?
173
00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:18,568
Any reason you don't
have plates on this car?
174
00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,396
We don't?
[chuckles]
175
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,876
Well, uh, daughter's car.
176
00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:23,312
She's inside getting ice cream.
177
00:07:23,355 --> 00:07:25,227
You're gonna have
to take it up with her.
178
00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:29,100
You're the only one here, so
I'm taking it up with you.
179
00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:31,233
Okay.
[inhales sharply]
180
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:33,714
If I had to hazard a guess--
new car,
181
00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:36,630
plates are probably in a pile
of unopened bills on her desk,
182
00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:38,327
and if you bug her about it,
183
00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:40,155
you're gonna get a bit
of an earful.
184
00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:42,636
Hmm. License and
registration.
185
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:46,944
Man, must be a slow
crime day in... nowhere.
186
00:07:46,988 --> 00:07:49,817
This make you feel
like a big man?
187
00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:51,253
[handcuffs click]
188
00:07:51,296 --> 00:07:52,776
Ow! Pinchy! Pinchy!
189
00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:57,564
I was gone for five minutes!
190
00:07:57,607 --> 00:07:59,261
What did you do?
191
00:07:59,304 --> 00:08:01,829
I ran out on some parking
tickets 20 years ago,
192
00:08:01,872 --> 00:08:04,092
which wasn't a problem
until we came to Nevada,
193
00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:06,355
and you didn't put
your license plates on!
194
00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:08,357
I told you
I'll get to it.
195
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,272
Oh. Okay then. No hurry.
196
00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:12,622
All right, let's go.
197
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:16,234
Wait, wait, wait. Give me a lick
of that before they lock me up.
198
00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:18,585
Ooh. Brain freeze! Brain freeze!
199
00:08:24,852 --> 00:08:28,159
Can you actually type
with those sausages?
200
00:08:28,943 --> 00:08:30,945
I do all right.
201
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:32,599
Well, pick up the pace.
202
00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:34,601
We've got hot stone massages
at 5:00.
203
00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:36,646
I told you,
this one's got a mouth on her.
204
00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:38,735
Check out the space
between his eyes.
205
00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:40,171
Hey, hey,
206
00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:41,912
no talking in code.
207
00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:45,525
Listen, Officer,
this is all my fault.
208
00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:48,005
I'm the one who forgot to
put the plates on my car.
209
00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:49,398
Hey, Sarg, you want me
to write her up for that?
210
00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:50,617
I could write her up for that.
211
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:52,096
Look, Terry,
212
00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:54,272
why don't you head over
to the middle school,
213
00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:56,797
and see if they finished
repainting that crosswalk?
214
00:08:56,840 --> 00:09:00,235
On it. Call me if things
go sideways with String Bean.
215
00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:01,628
That's you.
216
00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:03,368
We have codes, too.
217
00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:11,159
All right, Ms. Plunkett,
follow me.
218
00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:14,423
Oh. Oh, come on.
219
00:09:14,466 --> 00:09:16,947
Is this really necessary?
Can't we just pay?
220
00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:20,081
Oh, sure, if you have $2,185.
221
00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:23,606
Get in there.
222
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,608
If you don't want me in here
for murder, call Adam,
223
00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:27,131
have him transfer the money
to your account,
224
00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:28,829
and then go
to an ATM and get it.
225
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:31,266
Is there a bank nearby?
226
00:09:31,309 --> 00:09:34,269
No, but there's a hotel
12 miles south of here
227
00:09:34,312 --> 00:09:36,097
with a high-limit ATM.
228
00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:38,839
Okay, I'll be back
as soon as I can.
229
00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:40,667
Hey, real quick.
230
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:44,192
Isn't that a lot of ring
for someone you just met?
231
00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:46,281
Go!Right, right.
232
00:09:46,324 --> 00:09:47,761
Hotel, 12 miles north.
233
00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:50,459
South!
South!
Got it.
234
00:09:50,502 --> 00:09:54,158
So which gang do I have
to join to survive in here?
235
00:09:57,553 --> 00:10:00,948
[laughing]: Wait. She's actually
in a little jail cell
236
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:02,776
like Otis the drunk?
237
00:10:02,819 --> 00:10:04,647
I don't know who that is.
238
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:07,650
You know, Mayberry?
Andy Griffith, Opie.
239
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:09,652
CHRISTY: Adam.It's so funny.
240
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:12,829
Otis would get drunk and then
lock himself in the cell.
241
00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:15,179
Boy, self, cell,
that's hard to say.
242
00:10:15,223 --> 00:10:18,661
Do you get high the minute
my mom goes out of town?
243
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,532
Eh, pretty much.
244
00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:23,318
Can you transfer
the bail money or not?
245
00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:25,233
On one condition:
you get a video of her
246
00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:27,714
raking a tin cup
across the bars. [laughs]
247
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,367
I don't get that either.
248
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:31,369
Stop being old and just
send me the money.
249
00:10:31,413 --> 00:10:33,676
Yeah, yeah.
How much was it again?
250
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:37,071
$2,150.
251
00:10:37,114 --> 00:10:39,203
I can handle the rest.
252
00:10:39,247 --> 00:10:40,596
Well, how much is the rest?
253
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,207
$35.
254
00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:45,819
I'll send it right now.
255
00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:47,908
Thanks. Bye.
256
00:10:47,951 --> 00:10:50,693
[crowd cheering on TV]
257
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:53,870
[chuckles]
258
00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:56,743
Mmm.
259
00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,875
[chuckles]
260
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,663
Oh, yeah.
261
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:13,934
Uh...
262
00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:15,544
Can I ask you a question?
263
00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:18,852
I don't know.
I'm pretty busy in here.
264
00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:23,247
How did you rack up 17 parking
tickets over one weekend?
265
00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:26,990
What the hell was going on
December, 1999?
266
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:28,426
Y2K was going on.
267
00:11:28,470 --> 00:11:30,472
A lot of dummies thought
the world was gonna end.
268
00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:32,735
Not just dummies.
269
00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:34,868
Continue.
270
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:39,350
I had this boyfriend,
Dale-- Dwayne...
271
00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:41,570
that doesn't matter.
272
00:11:41,613 --> 00:11:43,311
Anyway we realized,
people freaking out,
273
00:11:43,354 --> 00:11:44,878
good time to sell
a lot of drugs.
274
00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:47,271
So we hopped in our car with
our hearts full of hope
275
00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:49,752
and a trash bag full
of Mexican Quaaludes.
276
00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:53,408
You do know you have the right
to remain silent?
277
00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:55,715
Yeah, that's never been
my thing.
278
00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:58,108
Anyway, we promptly got
really high
279
00:11:58,152 --> 00:11:59,762
and forgot where
we parked the car.
280
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:01,285
Donny.
281
00:12:01,329 --> 00:12:03,810
No.[ringtone plays]
282
00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:08,466
Hey, honey.
283
00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:11,469
[sighs]
What'd she do now?
284
00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:14,559
Oh, God.
285
00:12:14,603 --> 00:12:16,431
No. I-I can't pick her up.
286
00:12:16,474 --> 00:12:19,608
I have someone in the cell.
287
00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:21,653
Well, then,
just let her sit there.
288
00:12:21,697 --> 00:12:24,482
That'll teach her... something?
289
00:12:24,526 --> 00:12:26,484
[sighs]
290
00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:27,921
Yeah, a-all right.
All right.
291
00:12:27,964 --> 00:12:29,531
I-I got to go.
292
00:12:34,188 --> 00:12:35,319
What'd she do?
293
00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:37,147
Huh? What?
294
00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:38,758
I know what a
"my daughter screwed up"
295
00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:40,063
phone call sounds like.
296
00:12:40,107 --> 00:12:41,673
You got one, too?
297
00:12:41,717 --> 00:12:42,979
You just met her.
298
00:12:43,023 --> 00:12:44,633
Oh, she seemed okay.
299
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:47,331
Yeah, sure, now,
after I cleaned her up.
300
00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:49,507
I pretty much saved her life.
301
00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:51,901
Drugs, alcohol,
stripping, gambling--
302
00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:53,773
name a problem, she's had it.
303
00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:55,600
Gambling?
304
00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:58,865
We lost our house 'cause
the Packers didn't cover.
305
00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:00,910
Huh.What?
306
00:13:00,954 --> 00:13:03,608
Well, I just sent her
307
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:06,394
to an ATM machine in the middle
of a casino.
308
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:11,094
Huh.
309
00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:13,140
♪
310
00:13:22,062 --> 00:13:25,065
[cheering]
311
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:30,635
Mom's in jail.
Mom's in jail.
312
00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:31,767
Mom's in jail.
313
00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:43,213
Oh, come on. It's not
the end of the world.
314
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:44,736
I took a swing
at my teacher
315
00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:46,042
when I was your
daughter's age.
316
00:13:46,086 --> 00:13:48,958
And look at you now.
317
00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:52,222
I just don't get it.
318
00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:55,051
For 15 years,
Sarah was my little girl.
319
00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:57,097
She told me everything.
320
00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:59,490
And one day,
she walks into her bedroom,
321
00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:01,188
she closes the door,
322
00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:03,538
and I haven't seen her since.
323
00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:05,975
I got news for you,
it's only gonna get harder.
324
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:07,716
But don't give up on her.
325
00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:09,631
Sure, you're gonna want to pack
your bags and take off,
326
00:14:09,674 --> 00:14:11,981
leave her to fend for herself,
and who could blame you?
327
00:14:12,025 --> 00:14:13,896
Who does that to a child?
328
00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:18,596
No one.
329
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,382
You kinda sounded like you
were ready to split.
330
00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:23,384
I just said it was hard.All right, all right.
331
00:14:23,427 --> 00:14:25,299
I was just working with
what you were giving me.
332
00:14:25,342 --> 00:14:27,649
Another soda?
333
00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:29,346
I'm good.
334
00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:36,223
So what's to stop me from just
335
00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:37,789
making a run for it right now?
336
00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:39,443
Nothing, really.
337
00:14:39,487 --> 00:14:41,619
But it's 110
degrees out there
338
00:14:41,663 --> 00:14:43,447
and we're in the
middle of nowhere.
339
00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:46,233
Right. Right.
340
00:14:56,765 --> 00:14:59,333
[cheering]
341
00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:03,337
Yo-leven![cheering]
342
00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:09,299
Don't you leave, sugar,
you're my good luck.
343
00:15:09,343 --> 00:15:10,648
Let her ride!
344
00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,694
[cheering]
345
00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:22,443
[gasping]
346
00:15:22,486 --> 00:15:25,489
It's...
347
00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:27,361
hot out there.
348
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:34,890
You see any snakes?
349
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,283
Six.
350
00:15:36,326 --> 00:15:37,545
Yeah.
351
00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:45,292
Come on, baby, work with me.
352
00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:47,685
Anything but seven.
Anything but seven.
353
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:50,558
Seven out.
354
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:53,996
No! That's my mom's bail money!
355
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,303
I can give you a coupon
to the buffet.
356
00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:59,175
Can I bet it?
357
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:04,137
You are paying me
a hundred dollars an hour;
358
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,921
at some point, we should
probably work on your serve.
359
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,010
Oh, please, we both know
360
00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:09,620
I'm a better tennis
player than you.
361
00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:12,841
[ringtone plays]
362
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:15,626
[sighs]
363
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:17,019
Oh, my God, what?
364
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:19,195
I'm in the middle of
a tennis lesson.
365
00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:21,502
I am so sorry,
but it's an emergency.
366
00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:23,025
My mom just got arrested
367
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:24,679
and I need to borrow
two grand for bail.
368
00:16:24,722 --> 00:16:26,898
Arrested?CHRISTY: Yeah.
369
00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:28,683
It happened five minutes ago.
370
00:16:28,726 --> 00:16:30,902
You're the first person
I thought of to call.
371
00:16:30,946 --> 00:16:33,427
Aw. Aw.
372
00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:37,170
Text me something
about your account.
373
00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:39,085
I got to go. Bye.
374
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:44,960
This is her last year.
375
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,570
She's adorable.
376
00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:48,485
This is her now.
377
00:16:48,529 --> 00:16:50,922
Wow, that's a lot
of eyeliner.
378
00:16:50,966 --> 00:16:53,708
Yeah, and you
really notice it
379
00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:55,927
since she shaved
her head.
380
00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:59,322
Uh, Christy was a pretty
difficult teenager, too,
381
00:16:59,366 --> 00:17:02,195
though some of that was
hormones from the pregnancy.
382
00:17:02,238 --> 00:17:04,240
Oh, God.
Just keep trying.
383
00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:05,763
She's gonna keep
pushing you away,
384
00:17:05,807 --> 00:17:08,070
but one day that bedroom
door will open again
385
00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:10,029
and she'll be glad
you're standing there.
386
00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:11,247
I hope you're right.
387
00:17:11,291 --> 00:17:14,076
I'm always right.
388
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,165
Never in a million years
would I have thought
389
00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:18,080
I'd have such a wonderful,
loving relationship
390
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,603
with my daughter.CHRISTY: Mom.
391
00:17:19,647 --> 00:17:20,909
Where the hell have you been?
392
00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:22,606
I thought you left me here
to rot!
393
00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:25,218
Darling.
394
00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:26,741
I'm sorry.
395
00:17:26,784 --> 00:17:28,699
We'll talk about it in the car.
Pay the man.
396
00:17:28,743 --> 00:17:30,397
I can't.
397
00:17:32,790 --> 00:17:36,185
Oh, God, Christy,
you gambled Adam's money.
398
00:17:36,229 --> 00:17:38,361
I did.
[sighs]
399
00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:40,102
So then I called Jill.
400
00:17:40,146 --> 00:17:43,236
And you gambled
Jill's money, too?
401
00:17:43,279 --> 00:17:46,065
It all happened so fast.
402
00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:49,807
I'm not sure
I understand pai gow.
403
00:17:49,851 --> 00:17:53,811
So what, I'm gonna do hard time
for parking tickets?
404
00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:56,205
Yes... 'cause your
daughter's a loser.
405
00:17:56,249 --> 00:17:58,120
That's why Patrick didn't
want to be with me,
406
00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,861
that's why I didn't
get into law school,
407
00:17:59,904 --> 00:18:01,645
that's why I hit
on a soft 19.
408
00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:05,171
Oof.I know, right?
409
00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:09,175
Okay. Well, what time's dinner?
410
00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:11,090
You know, Bonnie,
411
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:14,005
these computers
can be a bit glitchy.
412
00:18:14,049 --> 00:18:15,659
Damn it, Gene,
I've got enough on my plate
413
00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:18,401
without worrying
about your problems.
414
00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:20,664
I'm saying,
415
00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:22,927
maybe your arrest record
416
00:18:22,971 --> 00:18:24,842
somehow disappeared.
417
00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:26,322
How about...
418
00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:28,324
you take care
of your daughter,
419
00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:30,152
I'll go take care of mine?
420
00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:31,371
Really?
421
00:18:31,414 --> 00:18:32,763
Really.
422
00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:34,417
Christy, go outside and
pull the car right up
423
00:18:34,461 --> 00:18:36,419
to the front door and blast
the air conditioning.
424
00:18:36,463 --> 00:18:38,073
That I can do.
425
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,901
Watch out for snakes.
426
00:18:43,905 --> 00:18:45,124
Thank you.
427
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:47,952
And hang in there
with your daughter.
428
00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:49,345
Don't be discouraged by this.
429
00:18:49,389 --> 00:18:50,520
Roger that.
430
00:18:50,564 --> 00:18:52,131
Bonnie?
431
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:53,262
Yeah.
432
00:18:53,306 --> 00:18:56,265
Never come back to Nevada.
433
00:18:56,309 --> 00:18:58,789
I'll add it to the list.
434
00:19:06,841 --> 00:19:08,669
Hey, you missed
the exit for the spa.
435
00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:09,931
We can't go to the spa.
436
00:19:09,974 --> 00:19:11,019
Why not?
437
00:19:11,062 --> 00:19:12,412
Because I don't deserve it.
438
00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:16,155
Stupid pai gow.
439
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:17,765
I do.
I'm covered in jail stink,
440
00:19:17,808 --> 00:19:19,027
and I'm getting
a salt scrub.
441
00:19:19,070 --> 00:19:20,550
I don't know what it is,
I may hate it,
442
00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:21,943
but I'm getting it.
443
00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:23,727
Followed by a selection
of artisanal cheeses
444
00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:25,207
I saw on the website.
445
00:19:26,556 --> 00:19:28,254
That does sound nice.
446
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:29,951
Oh, no cheese for you.
You're staying in the room.
447
00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:31,779
You can look out the window,
but only at the parking lot,
448
00:19:31,822 --> 00:19:33,041
not at the mountain.
449
00:19:34,347 --> 00:19:36,087
That seems fair.
450
00:19:36,131 --> 00:19:38,394
Okay, I'll double back.
451
00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:46,620
[siren chirps]
452
00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:48,230
Son of a bitch.
453
00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:50,580
You didn't do anything illegal
in Nevada, did you?
454
00:19:52,278 --> 00:19:54,062
I guess we're gonna find out.
455
00:19:54,105 --> 00:19:56,238
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
456
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:57,283
and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
457
00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:03,332
Captioned by
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