Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,132 --> 00:00:03,699
All right, we're off
to the meeting.
2
00:00:03,829 --> 00:00:06,484
Have fun or cry, or
whatever you guys do.
3
00:00:06,615 --> 00:00:09,574
I have fun
making other people cry.
4
00:00:10,619 --> 00:00:11,837
Did you find your keys yet?
5
00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:14,188
Oh, yeah.
Ten minutes ago.
6
00:00:14,318 --> 00:00:17,843
Now I'm just crawling around
looking for snacks.
7
00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:19,410
I told you a million times,
8
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:20,803
if you put your keys
in the same...Bup-bup-bup.
9
00:00:20,933 --> 00:00:22,631
Maybe I left them upstairs.
10
00:00:22,761 --> 00:00:24,720
[sportscaster speaking
indistinctly on TV]
11
00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:26,678
At some point tonight,
between hockey fights,
12
00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:28,593
could you throw away
your tuna sandwich
13
00:00:28,724 --> 00:00:30,378
that's been sitting
there since lunch?
14
00:00:30,508 --> 00:00:32,380
I'll get to it.Will you, though?
15
00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:35,165
'Cause "I'll get to it" has
kind of been your motto lately,
16
00:00:35,296 --> 00:00:37,167
only things never
actually get got to.
17
00:00:37,298 --> 00:00:39,952
If it bothers you so much,
why don't youdo it?
18
00:00:40,083 --> 00:00:42,390
'Cause I told you to do it.
19
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,914
[chuckles softly]
I was actually gonna do it,
20
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:48,309
but... you just made it a thing.
21
00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:50,528
It's only a thing
22
00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:53,357
'cause you made it a thing,
thing maker.
23
00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:57,405
Couldn't find them.
I promise I will
put everything
24
00:00:57,535 --> 00:00:59,363
back in the closet
when we get home.
25
00:00:59,494 --> 00:01:01,974
Better do it right away,
or it could become a thing.
26
00:01:03,541 --> 00:01:04,760
Mom, can you just drive?
27
00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:06,588
Unbelievable-- you can't
keep track of your keys,
28
00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:08,198
so I get inconvenienced.
29
00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:09,852
Oh, look-- I found your keys.
30
00:01:09,982 --> 00:01:12,463
Why do you have them?
31
00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:14,465
I borrowed your car
to go to the store
32
00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:16,902
[mumbling]: when I couldn't find
my keys. Anyway...
33
00:01:17,033 --> 00:01:18,469
you drive.
34
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:19,818
Oh, and you're on empty.
35
00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:23,170
I'll try not to kill her.
36
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:24,997
Whatever happens, happens.
37
00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:27,478
♪
38
00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:29,480
[groans] Nice work--
you made us late
39
00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:31,308
and now Wendy's
in my seat.
40
00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:32,875
It's not yourseat.
41
00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:34,703
Yeah, not today,
thanks to you.
42
00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:38,098
I need my sponsor.
I need my sponsor.
43
00:01:38,228 --> 00:01:41,405
You will never guess
what my mother just did.
44
00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:43,625
You do realize that's
how you say hello.
45
00:01:44,669 --> 00:01:46,280
I'm sorry. Hello.
46
00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:47,411
Hi.
47
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:51,372
You will never guess
what my mother just did.
48
00:01:51,502 --> 00:01:53,765
Instead of diving into
that all-too-familiar
pool of resentment,
49
00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:55,419
let me ask you something.
50
00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:56,986
You're 40 years old, right?
51
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,815
Not on Tinder.
52
00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:02,252
You have a... a job?
53
00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:03,558
Yes.Mm-hmm.
54
00:02:04,907 --> 00:02:06,300
And your mother drives
you absolutely bananas.
55
00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:07,344
Oh, yeah.
56
00:02:08,432 --> 00:02:09,868
So why do you still
live with her?
57
00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:11,479
BONNIE:
Wendy,
58
00:02:11,609 --> 00:02:13,307
I think you're
sitting on something.Oh, what?
59
00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:15,222
My chair.
60
00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:20,140
Did you see what
your mother just did?
61
00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:24,318
I know. Why the hell
do I still live with her?
62
00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:26,407
♪
63
00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:47,341
What is happening today?
Now you'restealing my seat?
64
00:02:47,471 --> 00:02:48,646
Iam middle.
65
00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:49,995
What does it matter?
66
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:52,302
That way I can have fries
no matter who orders them.
67
00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:53,956
Fine.
68
00:02:57,742 --> 00:02:59,744
Wait, I have to pee.
Get up.
Oh!
69
00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:04,227
That's why I like
sitting next to you--
70
00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:07,056
you have the bladder
of a camel.
71
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,407
And the outsides of a muchmore
attractive animal.
72
00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:13,802
Do you guys think
it's weird
73
00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:15,760
that I still live
with my mother?
74
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:21,201
I mean, she's asking,
so we can answer, right?
75
00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:23,768
She opened the door--
walk on through.
76
00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:27,511
Okay, it's kind of like
if you hated muffins,
77
00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:30,601
but you decided to live
in a muffin factory.
78
00:03:30,732 --> 00:03:33,387
Oh, I'd love to live
in a muffin factory.
79
00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:36,128
What is a muffin factory?
Isn't it just a bakery?
80
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:37,695
"Bakery" implies that
there'd also be bread.
81
00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:39,436
We don't have
a lot of time!
82
00:03:41,569 --> 00:03:44,528
Yes. You living
with your mother is weird.
83
00:03:44,659 --> 00:03:46,008
Really weird.
84
00:03:46,138 --> 00:03:47,966
Like "people talk
about it" weird.
85
00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:50,621
But not us.
86
00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:52,232
What do you think?
87
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:55,496
Well, when you were both
getting sober, it made sense.
88
00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:58,499
But, uh, time has passed.
89
00:03:58,629 --> 00:04:00,892
A lotof time has passed.
90
00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:03,852
Are you moving out?I'm not sure.
91
00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:06,594
Nora told me to figure
out what my options are,
92
00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:08,596
but I think I'm too
poor for options.
93
00:04:08,726 --> 00:04:10,424
Christy...
94
00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:12,469
I see you fishing
for an invitation,
95
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,602
and I love you
like sweet tea,
96
00:04:14,732 --> 00:04:17,605
but living together
always ruins a friendship.
97
00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:20,085
You know, the way
children ruin a marriage.
98
00:04:20,216 --> 00:04:22,827
There's plenty of room
at my house.
99
00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:24,699
Oh, yeah, do that.
100
00:04:24,829 --> 00:04:26,657
One of my roommates
is moving out
101
00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:28,877
'cause she "fell in love."
102
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:31,314
I don't know.
103
00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:33,795
Maybe moving is more
trouble than it's worth.
104
00:04:33,925 --> 00:04:35,971
Fee-fi-fo-fum.[door closes]
105
00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:37,625
Up.
106
00:04:41,629 --> 00:04:44,414
Oh, damn it, I forgot to put
money in the meter. Up again.
107
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:49,811
So, would I get
my own bathroom?
108
00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:51,247
♪
109
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:52,466
Hurry up, Bonnie!
110
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:53,771
BONNIE:
Hey!
111
00:04:53,902 --> 00:04:56,296
Perfection takes time.
112
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:01,518
You know...
while you were waiting,
113
00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:04,129
you could have thrown away
that sandwich.
114
00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:06,175
Could have.
115
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,916
Didn't.
116
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,571
Are you gonna get dressed?
117
00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:11,963
I am dressed.
118
00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:14,270
You're wearing a T-shirt.
119
00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:17,969
And pants and shoes
and... let's go.
120
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,928
You know what
that T-shirt says to me?
121
00:05:20,058 --> 00:05:21,669
It says
"the woman I'm with
122
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:23,540
isn't worth
buttons and sleeves."
123
00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:25,542
To me, it says
124
00:05:25,673 --> 00:05:28,415
the "University
of North Dakota."
125
00:05:29,503 --> 00:05:31,287
I'd like you to change.
126
00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:33,594
My clothes or who I am?
127
00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:35,552
Both.
128
00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:39,121
Not happening.
129
00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:42,472
Well, then I am no longer
in the mood for dinner.
130
00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:44,344
But I'm starving.
131
00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:46,911
Then eat your sandwich!
132
00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:50,698
♪
133
00:05:50,828 --> 00:05:52,482
So, Christy,
134
00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:53,918
what'd you think
of the place?
135
00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:55,485
I love it.
136
00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:57,922
There's so much light and...
137
00:05:58,053 --> 00:05:59,663
hope.
138
00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:01,491
We won't charge extra
for that.
139
00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:03,014
[both laugh]
140
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:07,541
It gets better--
it's Peter's night to cook,
141
00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:09,281
and he makes
his own pasta.
142
00:06:09,412 --> 00:06:11,458
Wow. A fireplace,
hardwood floors
143
00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:13,198
andhomemade pasta?
144
00:06:13,329 --> 00:06:15,070
I'm getting lightheaded.
145
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,638
Are you a diabetic?Have you traveled to
any tropical countries
146
00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:19,074
in the last six months?
147
00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:21,685
It's just my
socially awkward way
148
00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:23,208
of saying I'm happy.
149
00:06:23,339 --> 00:06:24,601
Oh, got it. Sorry.
150
00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:27,561
We're kind of in nurse
mode all the time.
151
00:06:27,691 --> 00:06:29,606
Well, I can't afford
health insurance,
152
00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:31,565
so that's another plus.
153
00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:34,002
Mmm.
154
00:06:34,132 --> 00:06:36,004
Peter, this
is delicious.
155
00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:38,659
Oh. Cooking relaxes me--
which I really needed
156
00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:41,139
after a day of assisting
Dr. Clevenger.
157
00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:42,358
The worst.
158
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:44,447
So full of himself.Like he's the only surgeon
159
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,451
who's ever resected a bowel
without spilling fecal matter
into the abdomen.
160
00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:55,545
I helped him remove
a giant tumor the other day--
161
00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:57,155
it burst like
a water balloon.
162
00:06:57,286 --> 00:06:59,157
Larry slipped in the pus.
163
00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:00,507
[laughter]
164
00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:01,856
More sauce?
165
00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:03,510
I'm good.
166
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,644
So, is that an apple tree
out back?
167
00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:09,690
Yeah. In the fall,
we make cider.
168
00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:10,952
CHRISTY:
Oh.
169
00:07:11,082 --> 00:07:13,520
Apple cider by the fireplace.
170
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:15,739
How wonderful.
171
00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:18,133
Remember when that teenager
came into the E.R.
172
00:07:18,263 --> 00:07:20,440
with the apple lodged
in his eye socket?
173
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:22,442
PETER [laughs]:
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
174
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:25,096
His friend shot it out
of an air cannon, and boom,
175
00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:28,448
nothing but apple sauce
and ocular fluid oozing
out of the hole.
176
00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:31,451
Oh, boy.
177
00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:33,888
This is so fun.
178
00:07:34,018 --> 00:07:36,543
If you live here,
we can do this every night.
179
00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:37,935
Ooh. And when
we extracted
180
00:07:38,066 --> 00:07:40,024
the apple, the
ocular nerve
181
00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:43,332
came stretching out
like a rubber band.
182
00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:47,641
[gags]: Where's
your bathroom?
183
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,904
♪
184
00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:52,341
He won't throw away
the damn sandwich.
185
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,604
It's been four days-- if
it's still there tomorrow,
186
00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:57,825
I think I'm within my
rights to set him on fire.
187
00:07:57,955 --> 00:07:59,348
Why didn't you share about it?
188
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,872
Maybe she knows
how ridiculous it sounds.
189
00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:04,396
This used to be a
safe space, Marjorie.
190
00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:06,573
And then you started coming
and we've adjusted.
191
00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:08,444
Pow!
192
00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:11,142
Hit her back, Bonnie--
this is getting good.
193
00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:12,535
I'm genuinely worried.
194
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,232
Boyfriend Adam
made an effort,
195
00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:16,496
Fiancé Adam is slacking off.
196
00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:18,628
At this rate, Husband
Adam will only be
197
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:21,718
hockey games, ball
scratches and farts.
198
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:23,546
At least you'll be married.
199
00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:26,767
Will I? We set a date, but
we haven't told anybody--
200
00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:28,769
I can still
wiggle out of this.
201
00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:30,553
Over a sandwich.
202
00:08:30,684 --> 00:08:34,339
Safe space, Marjorie,
safe space.
203
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:35,689
Ralph's watching the kids--
I'm a free woman.
204
00:08:35,819 --> 00:08:37,995
I can go nuts,
as long as I'm home by 9:30.
205
00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:39,257
[laughs]
206
00:08:39,388 --> 00:08:41,129
Oh. Okay.
Um, you know what?
207
00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:43,000
I'm gonna meet you there.
I have a feeling
208
00:08:43,131 --> 00:08:44,524
this one is hovering
with a purpose.
209
00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:48,136
Sorry.Mm.
210
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:49,485
Okay...
211
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:50,965
I did what you said.Mm-hmm.
212
00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:53,010
I looked at my other options.Good for you.
213
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:54,577
I can afford
a studio apartment
214
00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:56,492
that used to be
a guest bathroom,
215
00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:58,538
a basement out of Silence of the Lambs
216
00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:01,628
or I can move into
a gorgeous house with Wendy
217
00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:02,977
and never eat again.
218
00:09:03,107 --> 00:09:04,892
So...?
219
00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:07,547
None of them are better
than what I've got now,
220
00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:10,027
so I guess I'm stuck
living with my mom.
221
00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:12,682
No. You're choosing
to live with her.
222
00:09:14,249 --> 00:09:16,643
Well, I wouldn't use those
words.
223
00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:19,297
I'm gonna need you to.Why?
224
00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:21,430
Because if you're stuck,
you're a victim.
225
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,388
There's power in
making a choice.
226
00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:25,042
So I want to
hear you say,
227
00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:26,870
"I'm choosing to live
with my mother."
228
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:30,439
[sighs]:
Fine.
229
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,094
I am choosing to live
with my mother.
230
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,837
You thought that was
gonna be hard for me,
231
00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:38,229
but it really wasn't.
232
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,580
I am choosing to live
with my mother.
233
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:43,539
Great. Then you got
to be nice to her.
234
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,323
What?
235
00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:47,891
You expect me to live with
my mother andbe nice to her?
236
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:50,677
Why don't you just ask me
to solve global warming?
237
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:52,461
Well, if you can do that, you
need to go ahead and do it,
238
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,898
but right now let's
focus on your mom.Ugh!
239
00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:56,552
Yeah, but that's what
I'm talking about.
240
00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:58,336
That "ugh" stuff
has got to stop.
241
00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:01,122
But that's what comes out
when I focus on my mother.
242
00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:03,211
In the program, we talk about
being loving and tolerant.
243
00:10:03,341 --> 00:10:05,039
When it comes to your
mother, you are neither.
244
00:10:05,169 --> 00:10:06,649
Ugh!
245
00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:09,086
Just to be clear,
that one was directed at you.
246
00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:10,522
♪
247
00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:18,530
Wait. Exactly how nice
to my mother do I have to be?
248
00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:22,012
Because I feel like
any day I don't hit her
with a rock is a win.
249
00:10:22,143 --> 00:10:25,363
Well, for starters, you
can't talk about wanting
to hit her with a rock.
250
00:10:25,494 --> 00:10:28,410
It doesn't have to be a rock.
251
00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:31,195
I don't want you to say mean
things toher or abouther.
252
00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:33,197
I need you to be
kind all the time.
253
00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:36,810
But I don't...Be kind, be kind, be kind.
254
00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:38,681
But if I keep
all my hate inside,
255
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:40,552
I'm gonna pop--
I'm not that big.
256
00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:42,598
You're gonna keep
it all inside.
257
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,600
Every time you're
angry at your mom,
258
00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:46,994
I want you to do
something nice for her.
259
00:10:47,124 --> 00:10:49,344
That's crazy.
260
00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:51,781
I'll be doing nice things
for her all the time.
261
00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:54,479
That's right. And here's
the tricky part.
262
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:57,091
You haven't told me
the tricky part yet?
263
00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:59,180
You can't tell her
the nice things you do,
264
00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:00,660
or anybody else,
including me.
265
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:01,965
I don't want to hear it.
266
00:11:02,096 --> 00:11:04,402
Wait, I don't even
get credit?
267
00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:06,230
[scoffs]
I changed my mind.
268
00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:09,277
I'll live in Wendy's
house of oozing eyeballs.
269
00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:13,194
The point is,
to feel love,
270
00:11:13,324 --> 00:11:15,587
you have to do love.
271
00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:17,981
Hi, see you later.Hey, guys.
272
00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:20,244
See you in a minute.Oh, good.
273
00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:21,637
You're doing all your
whining to her.
274
00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,813
Then we won't have to
hear it at the bistro.
275
00:11:23,944 --> 00:11:25,336
Kiss my ass, Mom!
276
00:11:26,903 --> 00:11:29,863
Oh, am I supposed
to start now?
277
00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:31,908
♪
278
00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:37,261
Morning.
Morning.
279
00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:39,655
Where'd the coffee go?
280
00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:41,570
I started a pot
before I took my shower.
281
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:42,702
I drank it.
282
00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:44,007
The whole pot?
283
00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:49,621
Great.
I hope you enjoyed it.
284
00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:50,666
Meh.
285
00:11:54,322 --> 00:11:55,497
I like your boots.
286
00:11:55,627 --> 00:11:57,238
You can't have 'em.
287
00:11:57,368 --> 00:12:00,850
What the hell would I do
with gigantic work...
288
00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:03,287
So, what are you
up to today, Mom?
289
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,247
I'm going to the Home Depot.
290
00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:09,163
That sounds exciting.
291
00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:11,426
Compared to your life, sure.
292
00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:14,342
Good one, Mom.
293
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:17,301
You sure have a fun energy.
294
00:12:18,389 --> 00:12:20,565
Well, I've got
a pot of coffee in me.
295
00:12:20,696 --> 00:12:21,741
That helps.
296
00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:24,047
Later.Bye.
297
00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:27,659
I hope you have a super day.
298
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,749
Drinks all the freakin'
coffee I made.
299
00:12:29,879 --> 00:12:32,926
Maybe I want some of
the freakin' coffee I made.
300
00:12:33,056 --> 00:12:34,362
No, no, no. No.
301
00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:39,062
Do something nice.
Do something nice.
302
00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:40,281
Like pick up her sweater
303
00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:41,848
that she dumped
in the fruit bowl.
304
00:12:43,197 --> 00:12:44,154
'Cause that's where
that belongs.
305
00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:47,375
Probably shoves her socks
in the crisper.
306
00:12:47,505 --> 00:12:50,334
She is the most selfish,
inconsiderate, petty,
307
00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:54,686
narcissistic, lazy,
coffee-hogging monster.
308
00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:59,430
Well, I can't put this
perfectly folded sweater
309
00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:02,172
on this catastrophe of a bed.
310
00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:09,179
I am a spiritual giant.
311
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:11,225
♪
312
00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:16,447
Oh, when did you get here?
313
00:13:16,578 --> 00:13:18,406
Uh, just a few minutes ago.
Where's your mom?
314
00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:19,842
She went to Home Depot.
315
00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:22,062
Home Depot?
I'm gonna need a beer.
316
00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:24,673
I'll get it.Thanks.
317
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,197
So your mom's been a real
pain in the ass lately, huh?
318
00:13:27,328 --> 00:13:30,157
Uh...
319
00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:31,375
No.
320
00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:33,160
Come on, that's why
I came over early,
321
00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:34,814
so we could both vent.
322
00:13:34,944 --> 00:13:36,728
It's like our
tiny support group.
323
00:13:36,859 --> 00:13:39,949
Bonnie Anonymous.
324
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:43,213
I... love my mom.
325
00:13:44,649 --> 00:13:47,565
That is why I choose
to live here with her.
326
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:51,221
Oh, God, is she behind me?
327
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:54,398
Can't I say nice things
about my mom
328
00:13:54,529 --> 00:13:55,443
without it being weird?
329
00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:57,488
I don't think so.
330
00:13:57,619 --> 00:14:01,318
Whoa, leave that.
It's still in play.
331
00:14:01,449 --> 00:14:04,278
Really? It's been
sitting here for days.
332
00:14:04,408 --> 00:14:06,106
It smells so bad,
even Gus won't eat it.
333
00:14:06,236 --> 00:14:08,238
Look, whoever throws
away that sandwich
334
00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:09,936
will be the weak one
in our marriage,
335
00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:12,242
forever, till
the day we die.
336
00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:15,593
Your vows are gonna be amazing.
337
00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:18,205
Well, I got stuck in line
behind a lesbian couple
338
00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:20,076
building a deck.
339
00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:23,471
Hey.
340
00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:25,386
Hey.
341
00:14:25,516 --> 00:14:27,823
[scoffs]
I'm gonna go take a shower.
342
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:30,260
Not that we dress
for dinner around here.
343
00:14:30,391 --> 00:14:32,088
There are over 40 places
in this town
344
00:14:32,219 --> 00:14:33,176
that are okay
with a T-shirt.
345
00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:34,874
I Yelped!
346
00:14:35,004 --> 00:14:37,267
"I Yelped."
I'll make you yelp.
347
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:41,184
Aw...
348
00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:43,491
look what he did.
349
00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:48,235
Hey, after I shower,
350
00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:50,890
how 'bout we catch
that movie you wanted to see?
351
00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:53,718
The one with
the fighting robots?
352
00:14:53,849 --> 00:14:55,198
Yeah.
353
00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:57,984
Wow. Okay.
354
00:14:58,114 --> 00:14:59,942
Thanks.
355
00:15:00,073 --> 00:15:01,552
And then how about
I change my shirt
356
00:15:01,683 --> 00:15:03,119
so we can go to dinner, too?
357
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:04,599
Really?
358
00:15:04,729 --> 00:15:08,211
That would be nice.
Thank you.
359
00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:09,560
You're welcome.
360
00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:17,351
♪
361
00:15:17,481 --> 00:15:18,918
I'm telling you,
this last week,
362
00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:20,702
Adam has been a totally
different guy.
363
00:15:20,832 --> 00:15:22,312
Every time I turn
around, boom,
364
00:15:22,443 --> 00:15:23,618
he's done another
nice thing.
365
00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:25,011
Mmm.
366
00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:26,534
He keeps making the bed,
367
00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:28,579
he's done the laundry twice,
he even vacuumed.
368
00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:31,321
He's like a maid
you can have sex with.
369
00:15:31,452 --> 00:15:34,194
Best part, he
never says a word.
370
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:37,371
Doesn't need the credit.
That's how amazing he is.
371
00:15:39,503 --> 00:15:41,549
Hey, this is silk.
372
00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:44,378
Well, bring it over
to our house.
373
00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:46,380
Maybe Adam can
clean it for you,
374
00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:48,295
without taking credit.
375
00:15:48,425 --> 00:15:50,297
Christy, are you okay?
376
00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:53,953
I'm fine. I just got
a tough chicken.
377
00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:57,434
Well, I'm glad Adam
is making an effort
378
00:15:57,565 --> 00:16:00,220
so you don't have
to die alone.
379
00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:03,266
Jury's still out on that.Why?
380
00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:05,181
Because... there's
a little part of me
381
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:08,228
that thinks this is a trap--
I mean, like, what if he's doing
382
00:16:08,358 --> 00:16:10,926
all these nice things to trick
me into picking up the sandwich?
383
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:13,276
Yeah. Or you could just take
the nice things he's doing
384
00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:16,584
at face value, and not assume
people are out to get you.
385
00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:20,153
Sure. I'll just jump on
the bullet train to Chump Town.
386
00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:22,764
Lot of happy marriages
in Chump Town.
387
00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:25,462
♪
388
00:16:25,593 --> 00:16:27,247
I'm not arguing with you,
389
00:16:27,377 --> 00:16:30,032
I am just saying
you are completely wrong.
390
00:16:30,163 --> 00:16:32,643
The nicer I am,
the angrier I get.
391
00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:34,994
It's only been a week--
give it time.
392
00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:37,213
I know you told me
that I couldn't take credit,
393
00:16:37,344 --> 00:16:40,086
but you didn't tell me that I
would have to watch someone else
394
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:42,914
get credit day after day
after day after day.
395
00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:45,047
After day!
396
00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:47,223
Oh. That must be hard.
397
00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:48,442
That's what I'm saying.
398
00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:50,052
Too bad. Keep doing it.
399
00:16:50,183 --> 00:16:51,401
Now, I got to go.
400
00:16:51,532 --> 00:16:54,100
But what if I...I really got to go.
401
00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:56,102
NEWSMAN:
And now with the weather,
here's Nora Rogers.
402
00:16:56,232 --> 00:16:57,886
Hope you got
those jackets ready,
403
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,888
'cause tonight's gonna be
a chilly one. Uh-huh.
404
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:00,932
And going into Tue...
405
00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:05,154
Oh, for God's sake.
406
00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:07,156
Stop being an idiot!
407
00:17:07,287 --> 00:17:09,158
Just throw away
the damn sandwich!
408
00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:10,681
Uh...What?
409
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:14,729
You've never yelled
at me before.
410
00:17:14,859 --> 00:17:17,036
Sorry.
411
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:21,431
I've been swallowing
a lot of anger lately.
412
00:17:21,562 --> 00:17:23,390
Christy, I want to throw it away
413
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,131
'cause your mom's been
so nice lately,
414
00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:28,569
but it's kind of like Vietnam--
I know I need to get out,
415
00:17:28,699 --> 00:17:31,180
but how can I achieve
peace with honor?
416
00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:34,923
Maybe you should stop treating
your relationship like a war.
417
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,360
You guys are both
on the same side.
418
00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:39,971
You're right.
419
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:42,626
Unless you're in on it.
420
00:17:42,757 --> 00:17:44,324
What are you talking about?
421
00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:46,761
Maybe she got you to say these
things so you could trick me
422
00:17:46,891 --> 00:17:49,372
into throwing the sandwich away,
so then I'mthe guy...
423
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,679
I sound like I'm crazy, don't I?
424
00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:54,421
I'm just gonna throw
the sandwich away.
425
00:17:55,248 --> 00:17:56,771
Good.
426
00:17:56,901 --> 00:17:59,730
And next time you two
draw a line in the sand,
427
00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:01,602
can it not be with tuna?
428
00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:05,867
What are you doing?
429
00:18:05,997 --> 00:18:07,303
I am throwing away this sandwich
430
00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:08,565
because I love you.
431
00:18:08,696 --> 00:18:10,306
No! I wanted to throw it away
432
00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:11,525
because I love you.
433
00:18:11,655 --> 00:18:13,353
Too late. It's done.
434
00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:20,360
I'm sorry
I told you what to do.
435
00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:21,448
I'm sorry you had to.
436
00:18:22,579 --> 00:18:23,189
I really should make
more of an effort.
437
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:27,149
That's the most romantic thing
you've ever said to me.
438
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:30,674
[both moaning]
439
00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:35,114
BONNIE:
Mmm, Adam.
440
00:18:37,899 --> 00:18:39,379
♪
441
00:18:39,509 --> 00:18:42,164
And I know I'm not supposed
to be telling you this,
442
00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:45,341
but I picked up her sweater
and put it away.
443
00:18:45,472 --> 00:18:48,301
And while I was doing it,
I didn't want to kill her.
444
00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:50,564
I was too busy
being happy for her.
445
00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:52,566
What did you do to me?
446
00:18:52,696 --> 00:18:54,394
I didn't do it, you did.
447
00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:55,830
I just made a suggestion.
448
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,614
Well, it worked.
449
00:18:57,745 --> 00:19:00,443
Good. Maybe next time you
won't push back so hard.
450
00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:02,053
I won't.
451
00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:03,490
Yeah, you will.
452
00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:05,840
Also, you're gonna need
an umbrella tonight.
453
00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:07,276
But it's sunny.
454
00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:09,191
You're gonna have to
learn to trust me.
455
00:19:09,322 --> 00:19:11,237
Here you go.
456
00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:13,717
Here you go.
Here you go.
457
00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:14,849
What's this?
458
00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:16,851
This is the "Save the Date" card
459
00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:18,287
for my wedding.
460
00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:21,203
You may or may not be invited,
but save the date.
461
00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:22,291
MARJORIE:
Oh.
462
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:24,206
You ready to be a bridesmaid?
463
00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:27,862
Mm, God, my skin's already
itching from the polyester.
464
00:19:27,992 --> 00:19:30,169
It's official--
I am no longer backing out,
465
00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:31,692
I'm locking it in.
466
00:19:31,822 --> 00:19:34,825
So Adam wasn't just
trying to trick you?
467
00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:36,349
No, Marjorie, you were wrong.
468
00:19:39,265 --> 00:19:41,267
Oh, my God, Christy,
what's wrong?
469
00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:44,618
You... made me
love my mother,
470
00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:46,924
and now she's leaving me.
471
00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:49,231
[thunder crashing]
472
00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:54,236
Told you.
473
00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:06,379
Oh, God.
474
00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:08,816
We're in Vietnam again?
475
00:20:10,992 --> 00:20:13,386
[sighs]
This is me doing nice things.
476
00:20:13,516 --> 00:20:16,432
'Cause that's what I do--
I'm a nice thing doer.
477
00:20:16,563 --> 00:20:18,739
ADAM: Hey, what the hell
happened to my lunch?
478
00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:20,567
CHRISTY:
Oops.
479
00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:25,789
Gus?
480
00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:28,575
Did you eat my sandwich?
481
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,231
And the plate?
482
00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:36,191
See you later, Mom!
483
00:20:36,322 --> 00:20:38,367
Enjoy your sandwich!
484
00:20:38,498 --> 00:20:39,673
Oh. Hey, Adam.
485
00:20:39,803 --> 00:20:41,675
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
486
00:20:41,805 --> 00:20:43,720
and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
487
00:20:43,851 --> 00:20:45,722
and TOYOTA.
488
00:20:45,853 --> 00:20:48,769
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
34471
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof