All language subtitles for Mom.S05E19.A.Taco.Bowl.and.a.Tubby.Seamstress.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

NEWSMAN: ...was very sorry for
the plane's unauthorized landing

and the death
of the Chinese pilot.

The plane left Guam...What are you still doing here?

What do you mean?

Well, don't you have school?

Nope.

What about work?

I killed myself studying
for the LSATs.

I'm taking a few days off.

So you're just gonna be...

here?

That's the plan.

Huh.

What's shedoing home?

She's taking a few days off.

So she's just gonna be... here?

Am I really that big
of a monkey wrench?

No, don't be silly.
Listen, I'm gonna split.

Sorry, honey.

I'm as blindsided
as you are.

Adam, I didn't mean
to chase you out.

Oh, no, it's not about you,
Christy. Call me if she leaves.

What the hell goes on here
when I'm gone?

Don't ask the question

if you don't want to
picture the answer.

I watch The View
at 11:00.

Is that gonna
be a problem?

Can I watch with you?

[groans][knocking]

Geez. Now there's
someone at the door?

This day is a disaster.

Yeah?I'm sorry to bother you.
Are you the building manager?

Maybe. You a cop?Do I look like a cop?

The good ones don't.

Well, actually, I saw
the vacancy sign out front,

and I'm interested
in the apartment.

Oh, great.
Two bedroom, two bath,

first and last,
you know the drill.

Can you be any more specific?

Uh, square footage,
building amenities?

Square footage,
I would say medium.

And, uh,
as for amenities,

there's a weird guy
on the third floor

who'll rub your feet
if you let him.

I have a dog.
Is that okay?

The building owner
doesn't allow pets,

but if you slip me 50 bucks,
we never had this conversation.

So it'll be our little secret?

What? Who?

See? That's what your $50 buys.

Well, this has been fun.

I'm Rita Gennaro,

the new owner of this building,

and we are off
to a very poor start.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

What is wrong with you?I don't know. I panicked.

You threw my whole day off.

♪

Here you go.
If it's not how you like it,

I'll make a new pot.

Please don't fire
my mother.

You're sweet. We'll see.

So, how'd you end up
owning the building?

What happened to Tony,
who I never saw

except when he brought me
my Christmas bonus?

My husband ran off
with a home-wrecking slut.

Oh, no.
Well, does that mean

you'llbe bringing me
my Christmas bonus?

You know,
I'm divorced, too,

so I know what
you're wrestling with.

Do I care about your life?

Nope. No, you don't,
and you shouldn't.

So, what went down with Tony,
whose toupee is no secret?

He woke up one day and told me,

"I'm leaving you
for the dry cleaner."

I just thought he
was announcing his errands

in a very formal way.

And then my world fell apart.

Your dry cleaner
is a woman?

That's the interesting part
of the story for you?

You just don't see it
that often.

It's like a kindergarten teacher
who's a man.

Not wrong, just weird.

Do you get money
from the state to keep her?

I should, shouldn't I?

Well, Rita,
this has been a treat.

Definitely pop in
every couple of months.

We'd love to see you.

I'm not done.And she's not done.

I want this building
to generate income,

and if we clean it up,
I can raise the rent.

I could understand if he left me
for some hot young thing,

but she's a tubby seamstress

with a mole
the size of Coney Island.

So sorry you're
going through

such a...Are we friends all of a sudden?

Well, I thought
we shared a moment.

We didn't.

Now, I got a list of things
I need you to take care of.

Yikes. Both sides,
huh? [chuckles]

Can I hire someone
to do this work?

I already did hire someone.

Oh, great.

Oh.

I'll be back Friday to
check on the progress.

Or you could go
on a long cruise.

Lot of people get a second
chance of love on those things.

Friday!Cruise!

Let me show you what I think
about this list.

What is the matter with you?

If she fires you,
we lose our home.

[ringtone plays]

Hold that thought.

Hi, honey.

Yeah, she's still here.

Oh, my God.

Are you actually
working on the list?

Yeah. I got to thinking

if I do one or two
of the easy ones,

it'll get her
off of my ass for a while.

Is that duct tape?

Hey, I've never used
a hammer here.

I'm not gonna break
my streak now.

Well, at least I have

a nice, new car to live in.

Come on, baby.

Just till Friday.

Hey, watch your step,
Mr. Munson.

I'm on a ladder over here.

Let me guess,
you're finally hanging yourself?

Not yet.

I'm doing repairs
around the building.

I figured you'd hang yourself
before you did that.

Ha-ha-ha.Hmm.

I'm coming up in a couple hours
to install your smoke detector,

so make sure
you're wearing pants.

I could say the same thing
to you.

Get ready, Match.com.

[knock at door]

[camera clicks]

Whoa, that's a lot of nose.

Rita, hi.

Oh, look who's a girl.

Yeah, I'm just trying
to take a picture

for a dating site.

I found my son doing
that same thing.

His makeup was more subtle.

Well, I recently broke up
with someone,

so, you know, I'm trying
to get back out there and...

We're not bonding here.

I found another leak
in the laundry room.

The banister on the back
staircase is loose.

Why aren't you
writing this down?

Okay.

Leak, banister.

Anything else?

Would I keep it a secret?

Right.

Hey, listen, um,

I know this is a little weird,
but since you're here,

could you help me get a picture?

My arms aren't long enough
to make my nose look normal.

Okay.

I want to look pretty,
but not slutty.

Available, but not desperate.

Smart, but not...There.

But I wasn't quite...

Wow, that's perfect.

I hope you find someone quickly

because at the rate
your mother's going,

you're going to need to find
a new place to live.

No, no, no, no,
she is trying so hard.

She really does love this job.

And my husband loved me.

Things change.

Tell your mother

if she doesn't complete
the repairs in three days,

she's out.

But if you kick her out,

you're gonna
have to kick me out.

Maybe the new building manager
can let you live with them.

You could be like the cat
that comes with the apartment.

No, no, she's gonna do it.
You'll see.

She's not nearly as incompetent
as you might think.

Was that the light?

I'm adding it to the list.

Oh!

Is she gone?

Where'd you come from?

I saw her car out front,
so I snuck around back.

Corn dog?

Ah, look at this.

"Take pictures of work when
you're finished and send to me"?

Who does she think she is?

I got your first
picture right here.

Mom.Oh, right.

Whoa!
No!
No!

Oh. You mean don't do it.

Sorry, Bonnie,
but I'm with Rita.

If I don't crack the
whip with my staff,

my swans will
never get fed.

Oh, you and your
relatable problems.

You've been managing
this building for four years.

You know the job. Why are you
fighting so hard against it?

Oh, look who's found something
to sink her dentures into.

And I already ordered,
so I can't leave.

Why are you sweating
about this?

Just do your job.

Says the woman whose
only job is shopping.

Hey, I am at those stores

every morning at 10:00 a.m.
when they open up.

I would've fired you
days ago.

I would've fired her years
ago.

I would've never hired
her in the first place.You know what,

I don't have to sit here and
listen to this. Screw you all.

Waitress, I'd like my
taco bowl in the bathroom.

[exhales]

Well, this was not a good plan.

Bonnie...

No.

Why do I keep locking myself
into smaller spaces?

Go away!

I'm not going anywhere.

Well, then I guess
I live here now.

What are you doing, Bonnie?

Oh, don't go all Marjorie
on me please.

I hate my boss.

There's no underlying
blah, blah, blah.

Oh, there's always
underlying blah, blah, blah.

Are you trying
to blow up your life?

No!

Okay, let's play a game.

Pretend I'm your boss.Good-bye.

That job puts a roof
over your head.

Why are you so resistant
to doing it?

Because I hate it!

It's humiliating!

I'm in my 50s,
and I'm plunging toilets.

This was not the dream, Marge.Okay, what is the dream?

Well, I don't know,
but it doesn't involve

chasing raccoons
out of a garbage closet.

But that is the job.

Right. And if I do it well,

then I'll be doing it
for the rest of my life,

and then that's just who I am.

[exhales] Damn it,

we just found the underlying
blah, blah, blah.

Look, you might not be doing
what you want to

with your life,
but that's not Rita's fault.

[scoffs] Shut up.

Bonnie, the job
isn't who you are.

It's just what you're doing

on the road to what
you're gonna be.

[sighs] I said shut up.

Did you actually
want this in here?

No fork?
What am I, an animal?

Got to say, these things
are a lot easier

to drag without a body inside.

Adam, what the hell
are you doing?

Fixing the fountain.

All I said was
clean out the leaves.

I told you above and beyond
makes her mad.

I just think
if this was level

and the tubing was replaced,

that I could
get it working again.

You could even
have fish in here.

Fish? She barely kept me alive.

What will you talk about

when you finally forgive me
for the past?

I'm not overly concerned.

Just shove that thing
back on the wall.

Hey, you know,
don't ask for my help

if you don't want
the job done right.

Oh, God,
Rita's coming.

How do you know?

All the birds just
flew out of that tree.

Rita, hi. What a lovely
giant flower sweater.

I thought I made it clear
I'm not paying for extra help.

Oh, don't worry, I pay him
in sex and her in Doritos.

Cool Ranch, family size.

So you two
are together?

Yes, this is Adam,
my fiancé.

Hi, good to meet you...Let me see the ring.

Nice. Just be careful
where you send his shirts.

Rita, I want
to apologize

if I seemed
a little resistant

to what are obviously necessary
upgrades to our lovely building.

You are the boss,
so what you say goes.

Thank you for understanding

what everyone else who has a job
already understands.

[phone chimes]

Oh, my God, I got a match
on Match. I matched.

Is it desperate
if I call him right now?

I don't, I don't care.

You've done such
a wonderful job with her.

Now, I've been looking over
the rent receipts

and we have a few tenants
that are behind.

Anyone who owes
more than two months,

get the money or evict them.

Not a problem.

I have some experience
shaking down people for money.

As part of my extensive...
charity work.

Yes, that fits perfectly with
everything I know about you.

[chuckles]
Funny one, boss.

I'll find out
whose bike that is.

Wow, Bonnie,
you handled that great.

Oh, good, you're impressed.
What the hell do I care?

Why are you snapping at me?

Because I can't snap at her.

I love you, you're sweet.

CHRISTY:
Hey.

Quick question,
am I desperate enough

to have frozen yogurt
with a magician?

I don't care.

Hi, Mr. Mysterio, it's a go.

Three months? I thought I was
only two months behind.

Sorry to bring it up,

it's just the new owner
is kind of cracking down.

So... where do you
hide the cash?

Cereal box?
Cookie jar?

Stuffed inside
a frozen chicken?

Thieves never look
inside a chicken.

You know what,
I'm out of checks.

How 'bout I get it to you
later this week?

I kind of need it now.

I could drive you
to the bank.

I don't have it, Bonnie.

You mean like on the level
you don't have it?

I don't know if you're looking
at me, but I'm shaking my head.

You've lived here
for a hundred years,

you're never late with the rent.

Hang on, you just put
two of the big ones

in the Thursday slot.
Is that right?

It is if I want to
sleep till Sunday.

Let me do this.
Yeah.

One in each?Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, thanks.

I'm not, uh, concentrating
too good right now.

So what's going on?

Well, a couple of months ago,
I got diagnosed with, uh,

prostate cancer.

They found it early,

but they put me on
a couple of medications

the VA doesn't cover, so...

You can't pay your rent.

Oh, I could pay it, but then
I'd have a whole lot of cancer.

Sorry.

These ones are... Monday,
Wednesday, and-and Friday.

There's got to be something
you can do.

Well, I've been trying
to avoid the building manager,

but here you are.

Son of a bitch.

We just took a break.It's been two minutes.

Not you. Munson.Who's Munson?

Blind guy who lives upstairs.

Oh, I like him.

One day we were hanging out
in front of the building,

we made five bucks
for doing nothing.

You guys should go out there
till he makes his rent

'cause he's three months behind.

And he won't pay?

He can't. I'm not evicting
a blind veteran who has cancer.

I'm not doing it.

He's got cancer?

Prostate. And you're getting
a full physical, mister,

including the finger thing.

And don't pinch up,
they got to really look around.

Anyway, Munson can't afford
his meds and rent.

He's got no family,
no support system.

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna try to talk
some sense into Rita.

Calmly and rationally? Please?

Look, I made peace
with the fact that eating crap

is part of my job, but this
is where I draw the line.

Yeah, that's right,
I draw a line sometimes.

See, now, that didn't sound
calm and rational.

That sounded hot
and "we get kicked out-y."

You're right, you're right.

It just burns me up that-that
rich people like Rita

run everything and people
like us and Munson get screwed.

I did stunts on a movie
like this one time.

It was called Ski Academy.

The rich kids wouldn't let the
poor kids be on the ski patrol.

The poor kids turned off
the power to the lift,

so the rich kids got stuck.

Anyway, I got it on VHS
if anybody wants to see it.

Here we are.

I've got two kinds
of cookies, some cheese,

and a rogue chicken nugget.

Can I get you anything else
or are you good?

I'm swaddled in luxury.

Now why am I here?

Here's the thing.
[clears throat]

One of the tenants you asked me
to evict is Mr. Munson in 2G.

He's a blind Vietnam vet who's
now facing a health crisis.

And while you're
the boss,

and I'm on board
with that,

I got to respectfully say...
can we talk about this a second?

No. I can't afford to know
these people as people.

I'm running a business here.

But they arepeople.

If I make an exception for every
sad story, where does it end?

Have you looked
at this building?

If you live here,
you have a sad story.

And now I rely
on this building

to survive.
That's my sad story.

We are this close to having
a working fountain.

I'm done talking.

Evict him, or I'll
find somebody who will.

Well, then...

I quit.

I may hate my job,
but I don't have to hate myself.

And by the way,
whatever part of you

that's comfortable throwing
a blind man out on the street

is maybe the part your husband
ran screaming from.

I'm sorry, I know this screws
us, but I just couldn't do it.

No, no, no,
don't be sorry.

I'm so glad you didn't let her
turn you into a horrible person.

Well, back into one.

And maybe we end up crashing
at Adam's for a while.

Totally.

Sure.

I'm not heartless.

I just don't know
what the hell I'm doing.

I'm alone, I'm scared.

I haven't worked in 32 years,

and now I got to
run this crapbox.

I mean, is this who I am now?

No, no, it's not who you are.

It's just what you're doing on
the road to who you're gonna be.

What?

Okay, your husband left you, but
that's not Mr. Munson's fault.

Just like it's not your fault

that I'm not doing
what I want to do.

It made sense in the bathroom.

Look, two strong,
smart women like us

can put our heads together and
come up with a reasonable plan

where you get the rent
you so richly deserve

and he gets to keep
his apartment.

I'd be open to that.

Thank you.

I'm not a monster.

Though there is a kid
on the third floor

with a bunny
that needs to go.

You got it,
the kid's out of here.

I meant the bunny.Better.

This is working out
a lot like Ski Academy.

The discount card
we found in the mail

actually did work for
your prescription.
Mm.

The GoFundMe page is...
hanging in there.

It might've helped if you hadn't
paraded around the building

wearing a
"No Fat Chicks" T-shirt.

Well, how the hell am I supposed
to know what my T-shirts say?

And for the record, I do like
a little meat on the bones.

Well, I'll try
and get the word out.

I'll also help you run errands
so you don't have to take a cab.Mm.

And Rita is willing to let you
pay off the back rent over time.

Mm. So this Rita...

is she a good-looking woman?

Yeah, she's very...What the hell?!

You didn't tell me
the little one was here!

You want to give him
a heart attack?

You know he can't afford that.

[water dripping]

Yes!

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