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1
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:09,343
And... here you go, babe.
2
00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:10,444
You made coffee?
3
00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:12,413
Better. Kona.
4
00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:14,048
I was really looking
forward to coffee,
5
00:00:14,082 --> 00:00:15,649
but I'll give it a shot.
6
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,418
Can I push the thing down?
7
00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:18,652
Not until the duck quacks.
8
00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:22,490
Uh. Uh-uh.
9
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,125
And now.
10
00:00:30,598 --> 00:00:33,101
Oh. Oh. Don't cry.
11
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,269
You did good.
12
00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:37,371
No, it's just...
13
00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:40,608
all my life, I've seen people in
TV commercials living like this.
14
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,243
Mm.
15
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:44,278
I never thought it
would happen to me.
16
00:00:44,312 --> 00:00:48,516
Well, it's happening,
and... it's not gonna stop.
17
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,251
Really?
Mm-hmm.
18
00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:52,220
There's gonna be fluffy
robes, fluffy dogs
19
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:55,456
and push-down
coffee forever?
20
00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:58,292
You want me
to lie to you? Sure.
21
00:00:58,326 --> 00:01:00,861
I wish I didn't
have to go home tonight.
22
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,730
Yeah, me, too.
But, you know,
23
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,632
it's... it's hours away.
I'll tell you what.
24
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,567
Why don't we take
a walk on the beach,
25
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,470
and then we'll warm up on
the pier with some clam chowder.
26
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,305
In sourdough bowls?
27
00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:14,608
Well, they're always
disappointing, but sure.
28
00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:17,578
Mm.
What's that?
29
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,147
Our scones are ready.
30
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:22,383
Scones
31
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,085
Kiss me, so I know this is
really happening.
32
00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:28,856
* Sunshine, lollipops and
33
00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:31,525
* Rainbows,
everything that's wonderful *
34
00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:34,528
* Is what I feel
when we're together *
35
00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:37,665
* Brighter than a lucky penny
36
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,667
* When you're near the rain...
37
00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:49,777
And I'm me again.
38
00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:53,414
*
39
00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:13,934
Hamilton. We had
tickets to Hamilton.
40
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,270
It was a high school
production, Bonnie.
41
00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:19,207
Still a tough ticket.
42
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,941
I'm sorry.
I know it's an imposition,
43
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,477
but my car is completely dead.
44
00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:26,347
Why did you call us
instead of Patrick?
45
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:28,482
Because he's a new boyfriend
and everything's perfect.
46
00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:31,919
I don't want him to know
what a mess I am.
47
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:33,954
You live with your mom
and you're an alcoholic;
48
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,490
those are fairly large
bread crumbs.
49
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:39,227
What'd the mechanic say?
50
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:41,229
That I should have
changed my oil
51
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:43,531
at least once
since I got the car.
52
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,266
You never changed
your oil?
53
00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:47,835
I meant to.
I even put a Post-it in my car
54
00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:49,603
that said "change oil."
55
00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:53,241
And then I put my gum in it,
and that was five years ago.
56
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,877
How are you gonna get by
without a car?
57
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,779
I thought maybe my mom...
58
00:02:58,812 --> 00:02:59,880
Nope!
59
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,515
Please?
60
00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:03,384
My car has 400,000 miles on it.
61
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:05,953
One week with your crazy
schedule, and it'll just be me
62
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,956
taping you to 50 balloons,
hoping for the best.
63
00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:11,992
Well, can I at least
hitch a ride to meetings?
64
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,727
Of course.
65
00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:15,963
But I am listening
to Spanish language tapes,
66
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:18,999
so you'll have
to shut-o el trap-o.
67
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,269
Christy, I'd lend you
68
00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:23,904
my van, but it's all set up
for me to drive.
69
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,906
Thanks.
70
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:28,342
I'll figure something out.
71
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,919
Watch it.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
72
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:40,488
Ow!
I'm sorry.
73
00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:41,789
I'm sorry,
I-I have to carry
74
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,991
all my stuff in my bag;
my car broke down.
75
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:45,025
No one cares!
76
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:55,002
Oh, man. Come on, come
on, come on, come on.
77
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,737
Nope.
What?
78
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:59,340
The Warriors are down by two
with three minutes to go,
79
00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:03,043
and every time you come in
this room, Steph Curry misses.
80
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,713
I got up to make you a sandwich.
81
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,549
And the minute you left,
he nailed a three-pointer.
82
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,385
You're insane.
Steph's open.
Take the shot!
83
00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:13,521
Oh, you're killing me!
84
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:18,659
Do you know how many babies
throw up on the bus?
85
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:20,428
All of them.
86
00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:22,996
They ought to change the song.
87
00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,798
* The babies on the bus
throw up, up, up. *
88
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:28,336
Are you having dinner?
89
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:31,372
Nope. I've got 15 minutes
to wash this day off of me,
90
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:32,940
change my clothes,
and head out to Patrick's.
91
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:35,676
It's a bus to a train to
another bus, but it's worth it.
92
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,511
Is it? 'Cause you seem
a little stressed out.
93
00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:40,314
Really? You picking up
on that, Dr. Phil?
94
00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:43,717
And, by the way,
who goes,
95
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:46,454
"Hey, I'm on a bus, time
to shave my calluses"?
96
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,088
Wow. Hey.
97
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,424
How about I give you
a ride to the station?
98
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:52,693
Oh, man. How about you have this
conversation in the kitchen?
99
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,428
'Cause he just
missed another shot.
100
00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:56,764
I'm sorry, Steph,
there's two of them now.
101
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,767
Thanks, Mom.
That'd be great.
102
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,935
TV ANNOUNCER:
...third foul of the night...
103
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,374
You may stand near me;
it's a time-out.
104
00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:12,112
She looks awful.
105
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,548
How long can she
keep going on like this?
106
00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:16,016
I don't know.
She's pretty tough.
107
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:18,386
For one whole year,
she slept in a drawer.
108
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:21,722
A lot of babies
sleep in drawers.
109
00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:23,491
No, she was 13.
110
00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:25,526
She fit in a drawer
when she was 13?
111
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,861
She fits now.
112
00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:29,863
Listen,
113
00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:33,401
what if I lend Christy the money
for a down payment on a car?
114
00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:35,403
That is so kind of you,
115
00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:38,472
but if you do, I will punch you
right in the throat.
116
00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:39,973
Why?
117
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,141
Because I love you.
118
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,443
What?
119
00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:43,911
You lend her money,
120
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,914
she can't pay you back,
she starts avoiding you,
121
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:48,982
you start complaining to me,
I bring it up to her,
122
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,385
she tells me to go to hell,
I get mad at you,
123
00:05:51,419 --> 00:05:53,387
you and I break up,
and I'm stuck with my backup guy
124
00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:55,789
at the tire department
at Costco.
125
00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:00,127
You have a backup guy?
126
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,996
Please. Like you wouldn't drive
straight from my funeral
127
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,833
to Trader Joe's
to pick up Louise.
128
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,901
:
What?
129
00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:09,503
Is that her name?
130
00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:12,105
Oh, shut up.
131
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:15,008
Nobody has that many questions
about cheese.
132
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:19,513
:
* Sunshine, lollipops
133
00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:22,149
* And rainbows,
everything that's wonderful *
134
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:24,151
* Is what I feel when
135
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:26,820
* We're together,
brighter than a lucky... *
136
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:30,491
You need some help with that?
137
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:32,993
You need a mascara wand
in your eye?
138
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,539
Oh, man.
139
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:46,974
There you are.
Hi.
140
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:49,009
I was so worried about you.
141
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:51,645
I mean, I was texting you
for, like, three hours.
142
00:06:51,679 --> 00:06:53,814
Yeah. Sorry about that.
That's okay.
143
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,883
Phone died, took a bus,
let's get it on.
144
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,485
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
145
00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:59,887
Why were you on a bus?
Ah, car died.
146
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,222
Didn't change the oil.
Let's get it on.
147
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,924
Oh, wait, wait. Hold on.
148
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:06,193
Y-You took a bus all
the way down from Napa?
149
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:08,896
And a train and another bus.
150
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,198
Why are your pants still on?
Okay, I'm taking my pants off.
151
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,100
Taking them off.
But hey, but, uh,
152
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,035
tomorrow we are
getting you a car.
153
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,705
I can't afford a car.
Well, mm...
154
00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:20,508
Well, that's why I said "we."
I'll lend you the money.
155
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,142
No, no, no.
I appreciate it,
156
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,244
but we're still at the "coffee
and fluffy robe" stage.
157
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,079
Let's not ruin it.
No, no, no.
158
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,648
I know you're
good for it.
159
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:29,483
Uh, no, I'm not.
160
00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:31,919
Ah. Cute underwear.
Uh, thanks. Mm.
161
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:35,088
They're my "I got me a
new girlfriend" underwear.
162
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:36,557
Mm-hmm.
163
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:43,230
What's the matter?
164
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:46,500
Something sticky
in your hair.
165
00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:48,836
Oh, God,
that could be anything.
166
00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:54,608
I'm getting worried about
Christy missing meetings.
167
00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:56,677
Ooh. Was I supposed
to pick her up?
168
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,178
Oh, well.
169
00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:03,016
Maybe we could
take up a collection
170
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,718
and buy her a new car.
171
00:08:04,752 --> 00:08:06,587
Adam offered to float her
a down payment,
172
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,756
but I said, "Never
lend money to a Plunkett."
173
00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:11,592
They should actually
put that on money.
174
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,594
Riding the bus
isn't so bad.
175
00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:16,063
Except for that one time
176
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,699
a guy leaned his head
on my shoulder and died.
177
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:26,607
There was a time I
loved taking the bus.
178
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,642
I used to strike up
a conversation
179
00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:30,310
with whoever sat
down next to me.
180
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,912
Of course you did.
181
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,786
MAN: Hey, lady.
You can't sleep here.
182
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:40,220
What?
183
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,589
What's going on?
184
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:43,056
End of the line.
185
00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:44,592
Where am I?
186
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,560
Stockton.
187
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,762
Stockton?
188
00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:51,799
Where the hell is Stockton?
189
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,810
Thank you so much
for picking me up.
190
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:04,745
I know it was
a long drive.
191
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:08,081
Yeah, two hours.
192
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:11,719
Gonna be two hours
back, too, so...
193
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:14,855
that's a total
of four hours.
194
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,357
I am so sorry.
195
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,226
Cheesy peanut butter cracker?
196
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,094
Uh, sure.
197
00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:22,930
Vending machine dinner?
198
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:25,866
I wish. I found 'em
on an empty seat.
199
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,703
Open or closed?
200
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:32,139
Closed. I'm not an animal.
201
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,245
It's probably
not my place,
202
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,047
and I don't mean to
offend you, but...
203
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,782
I've been thinking,
how 'bout I loan you
204
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,784
some money for a
down payment on a car?
205
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:46,720
Great. Is there a dealership
open right now?
206
00:09:46,754 --> 00:09:50,223
Whoa. I had a whole thing
prepared to talk you into it.
207
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,259
Well, waking up in Stockton
208
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,294
smacked the pride
right out of me.
209
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,898
But we have to
keep it on the DL,
210
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,033
because Patrick offered me
a loan, and I said no.
211
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,334
Yeah, let's keep it away
from your mom, too.
212
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:02,970
She shot me down
when I brought this up
213
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,104
a couple of weeks ago.
214
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,239
What
215
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,241
She said it was a bad idea
to loan money
216
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,309
to anyone in your family.
217
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:10,410
Oh, she's right.
218
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,979
What you're doing is stupid,
219
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:14,014
and two grand
should get it done.
220
00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:21,154
The kick is up...
oh, and it's good!
221
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:26,794
Hey, Baxter?
222
00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:29,763
Oh, God, what did I do?
223
00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:32,265
Nothing.
I want to buy a car.
224
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:35,002
Can you just tell me why you're
mad and skip the mind games?
225
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:38,672
I'm not here as your ex.
I really do want to buy a car.
226
00:10:38,706 --> 00:10:40,941
You know, they cost money.
227
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,110
And I have some.
228
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,345
Well, then, come right in!
229
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,347
Can I get you
a complimentary cappuccino?
230
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,249
Hot chocolate
231
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:52,319
They all come out of the same
machine; it's a miracle.
232
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:56,356
Just the car, thanks.
233
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:59,827
I want a new one
with buttons and seat heaters
234
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,361
and a working turn signal.
235
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:04,397
But it still has to be
really cheap, so I need a deal.
236
00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:05,766
Where'd you get the money?
237
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,235
Oh, God.
238
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:09,369
Christy, are you gambling again?
239
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:15,408
And if so, who do you like
tonight, Sharks or Calgary?
240
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:18,411
I'm not gambling,
and only idiots bet on hockey.
241
00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:21,882
Well, WNBA season
doesn't start for a while.
242
00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:26,854
Oh. I know
what's happening here.
243
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:29,957
Your new little boyfriend
is underwriting this dream.
244
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,491
Hey, that's offensive.
245
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,927
I got the money
from my mom's boyfriend.
246
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:38,732
My new guy offered,
and I said no.
247
00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:41,234
That is nothing to be proud of.
248
00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:43,236
Be like me.
249
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:46,273
Find someone rich that
you don't hate, and kick back.
250
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,942
You're still cute enough
to nab a sugar daddy.
251
00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:51,344
I should have gone to Nissan.
252
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:55,015
Yeah, those are great cars.
253
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:59,286
Face it, you and me,
we're arm candy.
254
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:01,288
Got to use it
before you lose it.
255
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:04,024
So you're saying I should
drain everything I can
256
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,526
out of my boyfriend
before I become an old hag?
257
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,329
Ticktock.
258
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,036
I always heard about
this new-car smell.
259
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,838
I never knew
it was real.
260
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,840
Can you smell it?
I can.
261
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:23,076
And?
Uh, definite upgrade.
262
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:25,412
Yeah, I just couldn't get
that wet-dog smell
263
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:26,847
out of my old car.
264
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,081
Oh, yeah, you had a dog?
265
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:30,483
Nope. Therein lies the mystery.
266
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:33,253
Ooh, ooh, check this out.
267
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:35,923
I don't have to
roll down the window
268
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,490
and yell "honk
honk" anymore.
269
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:38,458
That's great, babe.
270
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:39,927
Where'd you get the money?
271
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,229
My ex-husband sells cars,
272
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,397
and he also loaned me
the down payment.
273
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,366
Ooh, check this out.
Satellite radio.
274
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:48,401
Do you want to hear the
Canadian comedy channel?
275
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:51,839
H-Hold on. So, uh, you wouldn't
take money from me,
276
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:54,174
but you took it
from your ex
277
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:56,376
Yeah, because
that relationship's
278
00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:58,278
already burned down.
279
00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:02,182
Has it? I mean, what's this guy
doing loaning you money?
280
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:04,952
He's just a good guy.
Well, I'm a good guy,
281
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:08,588
but I don't write my ex
any checks I don't have to.
282
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,191
So, does he want to
get back together with you?
283
00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,193
Oh, God, no.
284
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:16,263
Trust me, we tried a couple
times; it did not work out.
285
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,431
A couple of times?
Not recently.
286
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:19,499
Ah. Well, when?
287
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,969
Not since he
got engaged.
288
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:25,105
Wait, not since
he got married.
289
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,508
You know, this story's
not getting better.
290
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,944
Okay, look,
291
00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,445
I promised I wouldn't
say anything,
292
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,614
but I got the money
from your brother.
293
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,449
What?
294
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,486
Let's not make it a thing, okay?
295
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:43,190
Yeah.
Of course not.
296
00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:51,031
Where do you get off
loaning my girlfriend money?
297
00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:52,499
You did what?!
298
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:55,502
I thought it wasn't a thing!
Nice job keeping a secret!
299
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:57,637
I had to tell him; he thought
I was sleeping with my ex.
300
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,206
You're sleeping
with Baxter again?
301
00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:00,573
No!
302
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,643
No!
303
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,645
All right, we're
cleaning this up.
304
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,647
How much did you loan her?
'Cause I'm giving it back
305
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,582
to you right now
with interest.
306
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:12,219
No, do not take his money.
Oh, I'm not taking his money.
307
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:13,286
Well, somebody's
taking my money.
308
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,522
We could use a new fridge.
309
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:19,426
Consider it done.
Blank check, there you go.
310
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,095
You lend my
girlfriend money,
311
00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:23,563
I lend your
girlfriend money.
312
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:24,898
How's that feel?
313
00:14:24,932 --> 00:14:28,168
Great. Finally
my beer will be cold.
314
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:31,171
Patrick, you cannot
give money to my mom.
315
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,106
Especially a blank check.
316
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:36,109
She'll have a black wig
and new fingerprints by sundown.
317
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:39,579
Look, your woman had a problem,
I solved it.
318
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:40,948
Don't get all threatened.
319
00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:42,582
His woman?
Screw you.
320
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:43,984
Screw you!
321
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,919
Screw both of you!
322
00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:48,922
Excuse... excuse me. I think
I need to sit down for a minute.
323
00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:50,657
You okay?
Yeah, it's just
everybody's fighting,
324
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,292
and nobody's mad at me.
325
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:54,962
I-I don't know
what I'm supposed to do.
326
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,535
Hey, Baxter.
327
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,171
Hey.
328
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:05,538
Sorry to interrupt your lunch.
329
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,074
Don't be.
330
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:08,675
Candace made me
a kale and salmon wrap.
331
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,910
She fooled me 'cause
it looked like a burrito.
332
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,382
Thanks for taking the car back.
333
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,384
I only put ten miles on it,
334
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:20,587
but they were the happiest
ten miles of my life.
335
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:25,625
Ugh. Good-bye,
sweet silver sedan.
336
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:26,994
Take it.
337
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:29,529
Rip the Band-Aid off.
338
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:32,199
Christy, I'm not
taking the car back.
339
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:34,201
Unbelievable.
340
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:35,635
You promised.
341
00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:39,572
You are the most selfish,
342
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,274
unreliable person
I've ever met,
343
00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:42,542
and that includes my mother.
344
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:44,311
And why the hell
are you smiling?!
345
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:47,214
'Cause you're gonna feel
so terrible in a second.
346
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:48,615
What does that mean?
347
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,655
I'm buying you the car.
348
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:57,590
What?
349
00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:01,028
Look, we always focus on
the bad stuff you did to me,
350
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:03,496
but I did a lot
of bad things to you.
351
00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:07,167
I would disappear
for days on end,
352
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,170
I smoked your weed,
I slept with your friends.
353
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:12,305
Friends?
I thought it was one.
354
00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:15,675
One friend six times,
six friends one time.
355
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:19,412
The point is...
356
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:21,714
over the years,
I've watched you
357
00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:24,051
make up for all the bad stuff
you did wrong,
358
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:26,553
and I found it
really inspiring.
359
00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:32,392
So, this is me making
an amendment to you.
360
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,327
It's actually called
an "amends."
361
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:37,664
Dude, I'm giving you a free car.
Get off my ass.
362
00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:40,167
You're right. I'm sorry.
363
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,169
But isn't Candace
going to be upset
364
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:43,770
about you spending money on me?
365
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:45,572
Eh, she'll never know.
366
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,807
I had a secret
start-a-new-life fund,
367
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,643
but then I realized,
who am I kidding?
368
00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:54,381
Money's turned me
into a house cat.
369
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:57,084
Thank you, Baxter.
Oh...
370
00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:59,086
Oh.
371
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:00,287
Wait.
372
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,821
You're not doing this
373
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,790
so you can sleep
with me, are you?
374
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:07,494
Christy, I'm married.
375
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:10,630
So only if you insist.
376
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:11,731
I'm good.
377
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,766
Cool, cool.
378
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,643
You know, Baxter was
kind of a dick to me, too.
379
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:26,413
You think I can get a car?
380
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:28,348
Maybe you can get
an oil change,
381
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:32,685
like the one I'm getting
in, uh, 2,981 miles.
382
00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:35,755
Whoa, whoa.
A granola bar?
383
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:38,191
Why don't you just saw
a piece of wood in here?
384
00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:43,230
So I guess it's a no
on this incredibly ripe peach?
385
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:48,135
How are you gonna tell
Patrick about the car?
Mm.
386
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,670
I ran him by the dealership
to meet Baxter,
387
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:53,606
who was hiding from his boss
in a large tire.
388
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,175
Patrick's no longer threatened.
389
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:57,076
Well played.
390
00:17:58,478 --> 00:17:59,746
Son of a bitch!
391
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,681
Can I eat my peach now?
392
00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:03,683
Captioning sponsored by CBS
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393
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:13,760
Captioned by
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28254
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