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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:09,343 And... here you go, babe. 2 00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:10,444 You made coffee? 3 00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:12,413 Better. Kona. 4 00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:14,048 I was really looking forward to coffee, 5 00:00:14,082 --> 00:00:15,649 but I'll give it a shot. 6 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,418 Can I push the thing down? 7 00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:18,652 Not until the duck quacks. 8 00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:22,490 Uh. Uh-uh. 9 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,125 And now. 10 00:00:30,598 --> 00:00:33,101 Oh. Oh. Don't cry. 11 00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,269 You did good. 12 00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:37,371 No, it's just... 13 00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:40,608 all my life, I've seen people in TV commercials living like this. 14 00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,243 Mm. 15 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:44,278 I never thought it would happen to me. 16 00:00:44,312 --> 00:00:48,516 Well, it's happening, and... it's not gonna stop. 17 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,251 Really? Mm-hmm. 18 00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:52,220 There's gonna be fluffy robes, fluffy dogs 19 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:55,456 and push-down coffee forever? 20 00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:58,292 You want me to lie to you? Sure. 21 00:00:58,326 --> 00:01:00,861 I wish I didn't have to go home tonight. 22 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,730 Yeah, me, too. But, you know, 23 00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,632 it's... it's hours away. I'll tell you what. 24 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,567 Why don't we take a walk on the beach, 25 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,470 and then we'll warm up on the pier with some clam chowder. 26 00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,305 In sourdough bowls? 27 00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:14,608 Well, they're always disappointing, but sure. 28 00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:17,578 Mm. What's that? 29 00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,147 Our scones are ready. 30 00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:22,383 Scones 31 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,085 Kiss me, so I know this is really happening. 32 00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:28,856 * Sunshine, lollipops and 33 00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:31,525 * Rainbows, everything that's wonderful * 34 00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:34,528 * Is what I feel when we're together * 35 00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:37,665 * Brighter than a lucky penny 36 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,667 * When you're near the rain... 37 00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:49,777 And I'm me again. 38 00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:53,414 * 39 00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:13,934 Hamilton. We had tickets to Hamilton. 40 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,270 It was a high school production, Bonnie. 41 00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:19,207 Still a tough ticket. 42 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,941 I'm sorry. I know it's an imposition, 43 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,477 but my car is completely dead. 44 00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:26,347 Why did you call us instead of Patrick? 45 00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:28,482 Because he's a new boyfriend and everything's perfect. 46 00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:31,919 I don't want him to know what a mess I am. 47 00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:33,954 You live with your mom and you're an alcoholic; 48 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,490 those are fairly large bread crumbs. 49 00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:39,227 What'd the mechanic say? 50 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:41,229 That I should have changed my oil 51 00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:43,531 at least once since I got the car. 52 00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,266 You never changed your oil? 53 00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:47,835 I meant to. I even put a Post-it in my car 54 00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:49,603 that said "change oil." 55 00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:53,241 And then I put my gum in it, and that was five years ago. 56 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,877 How are you gonna get by without a car? 57 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,779 I thought maybe my mom... 58 00:02:58,812 --> 00:02:59,880 Nope! 59 00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,515 Please? 60 00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:03,384 My car has 400,000 miles on it. 61 00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:05,953 One week with your crazy schedule, and it'll just be me 62 00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,956 taping you to 50 balloons, hoping for the best. 63 00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:11,992 Well, can I at least hitch a ride to meetings? 64 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,727 Of course. 65 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:15,963 But I am listening to Spanish language tapes, 66 00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:18,999 so you'll have to shut-o el trap-o. 67 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,269 Christy, I'd lend you 68 00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:23,904 my van, but it's all set up for me to drive. 69 00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,906 Thanks. 70 00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:28,342 I'll figure something out. 71 00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,919 Watch it. Oh, I'm so sorry. 72 00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:40,488 Ow! I'm sorry. 73 00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:41,789 I'm sorry, I-I have to carry 74 00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,991 all my stuff in my bag; my car broke down. 75 00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:45,025 No one cares! 76 00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:55,002 Oh, man. Come on, come on, come on, come on. 77 00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,737 Nope. What? 78 00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:59,340 The Warriors are down by two with three minutes to go, 79 00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:03,043 and every time you come in this room, Steph Curry misses. 80 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,713 I got up to make you a sandwich. 81 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,549 And the minute you left, he nailed a three-pointer. 82 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,385 You're insane. Steph's open. Take the shot! 83 00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:13,521 Oh, you're killing me! 84 00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:18,659 Do you know how many babies throw up on the bus? 85 00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:20,428 All of them. 86 00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:22,996 They ought to change the song. 87 00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,798 * The babies on the bus throw up, up, up. * 88 00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:28,336 Are you having dinner? 89 00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:31,372 Nope. I've got 15 minutes to wash this day off of me, 90 00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:32,940 change my clothes, and head out to Patrick's. 91 00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:35,676 It's a bus to a train to another bus, but it's worth it. 92 00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,511 Is it? 'Cause you seem a little stressed out. 93 00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:40,314 Really? You picking up on that, Dr. Phil? 94 00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:43,717 And, by the way, who goes, 95 00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:46,454 "Hey, I'm on a bus, time to shave my calluses"? 96 00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,088 Wow. Hey. 97 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,424 How about I give you a ride to the station? 98 00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:52,693 Oh, man. How about you have this conversation in the kitchen? 99 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,428 'Cause he just missed another shot. 100 00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:56,764 I'm sorry, Steph, there's two of them now. 101 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,767 Thanks, Mom. That'd be great. 102 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,935 TV ANNOUNCER: ...third foul of the night... 103 00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,374 You may stand near me; it's a time-out. 104 00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:12,112 She looks awful. 105 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,548 How long can she keep going on like this? 106 00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:16,016 I don't know. She's pretty tough. 107 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:18,386 For one whole year, she slept in a drawer. 108 00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:21,722 A lot of babies sleep in drawers. 109 00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:23,491 No, she was 13. 110 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:25,526 She fit in a drawer when she was 13? 111 00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,861 She fits now. 112 00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:29,863 Listen, 113 00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:33,401 what if I lend Christy the money for a down payment on a car? 114 00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:35,403 That is so kind of you, 115 00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:38,472 but if you do, I will punch you right in the throat. 116 00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:39,973 Why? 117 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,141 Because I love you. 118 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,443 What? 119 00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:43,911 You lend her money, 120 00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,914 she can't pay you back, she starts avoiding you, 121 00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:48,982 you start complaining to me, I bring it up to her, 122 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,385 she tells me to go to hell, I get mad at you, 123 00:05:51,419 --> 00:05:53,387 you and I break up, and I'm stuck with my backup guy 124 00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:55,789 at the tire department at Costco. 125 00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:00,127 You have a backup guy? 126 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,996 Please. Like you wouldn't drive straight from my funeral 127 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,833 to Trader Joe's to pick up Louise. 128 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,901 : What? 129 00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:09,503 Is that her name? 130 00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:12,105 Oh, shut up. 131 00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:15,008 Nobody has that many questions about cheese. 132 00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:19,513 : * Sunshine, lollipops 133 00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:22,149 * And rainbows, everything that's wonderful * 134 00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:24,151 * Is what I feel when 135 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:26,820 * We're together, brighter than a lucky... * 136 00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:30,491 You need some help with that? 137 00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:32,993 You need a mascara wand in your eye? 138 00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,539 Oh, man. 139 00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:46,974 There you are. Hi. 140 00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:49,009 I was so worried about you. 141 00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:51,645 I mean, I was texting you for, like, three hours. 142 00:06:51,679 --> 00:06:53,814 Yeah. Sorry about that. That's okay. 143 00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,883 Phone died, took a bus, let's get it on. 144 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,485 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 145 00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:59,887 Why were you on a bus? Ah, car died. 146 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,222 Didn't change the oil. Let's get it on. 147 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,924 Oh, wait, wait. Hold on. 148 00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:06,193 Y-You took a bus all the way down from Napa? 149 00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:08,896 And a train and another bus. 150 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,198 Why are your pants still on? Okay, I'm taking my pants off. 151 00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,100 Taking them off. But hey, but, uh, 152 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,035 tomorrow we are getting you a car. 153 00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,705 I can't afford a car. Well, mm... 154 00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:20,508 Well, that's why I said "we." I'll lend you the money. 155 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,142 No, no, no. I appreciate it, 156 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,244 but we're still at the "coffee and fluffy robe" stage. 157 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,079 Let's not ruin it. No, no, no. 158 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,648 I know you're good for it. 159 00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:29,483 Uh, no, I'm not. 160 00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:31,919 Ah. Cute underwear. Uh, thanks. Mm. 161 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:35,088 They're my "I got me a new girlfriend" underwear. 162 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:36,557 Mm-hmm. 163 00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:43,230 What's the matter? 164 00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:46,500 Something sticky in your hair. 165 00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:48,836 Oh, God, that could be anything. 166 00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:54,608 I'm getting worried about Christy missing meetings. 167 00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:56,677 Ooh. Was I supposed to pick her up? 168 00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,178 Oh, well. 169 00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:03,016 Maybe we could take up a collection 170 00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,718 and buy her a new car. 171 00:08:04,752 --> 00:08:06,587 Adam offered to float her a down payment, 172 00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,756 but I said, "Never lend money to a Plunkett." 173 00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:11,592 They should actually put that on money. 174 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,594 Riding the bus isn't so bad. 175 00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:16,063 Except for that one time 176 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,699 a guy leaned his head on my shoulder and died. 177 00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:26,607 There was a time I loved taking the bus. 178 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,642 I used to strike up a conversation 179 00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:30,310 with whoever sat down next to me. 180 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,912 Of course you did. 181 00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,786 MAN: Hey, lady. You can't sleep here. 182 00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:40,220 What? 183 00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,589 What's going on? 184 00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:43,056 End of the line. 185 00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:44,592 Where am I? 186 00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,560 Stockton. 187 00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,762 Stockton? 188 00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:51,799 Where the hell is Stockton? 189 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,810 Thank you so much for picking me up. 190 00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:04,745 I know it was a long drive. 191 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:08,081 Yeah, two hours. 192 00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:11,719 Gonna be two hours back, too, so... 193 00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:14,855 that's a total of four hours. 194 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,357 I am so sorry. 195 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,226 Cheesy peanut butter cracker? 196 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,094 Uh, sure. 197 00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:22,930 Vending machine dinner? 198 00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:25,866 I wish. I found 'em on an empty seat. 199 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,703 Open or closed? 200 00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:32,139 Closed. I'm not an animal. 201 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,245 It's probably not my place, 202 00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,047 and I don't mean to offend you, but... 203 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,782 I've been thinking, how 'bout I loan you 204 00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,784 some money for a down payment on a car? 205 00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:46,720 Great. Is there a dealership open right now? 206 00:09:46,754 --> 00:09:50,223 Whoa. I had a whole thing prepared to talk you into it. 207 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,259 Well, waking up in Stockton 208 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,294 smacked the pride right out of me. 209 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,898 But we have to keep it on the DL, 210 00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,033 because Patrick offered me a loan, and I said no. 211 00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,334 Yeah, let's keep it away from your mom, too. 212 00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:02,970 She shot me down when I brought this up 213 00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,104 a couple of weeks ago. 214 00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,239 What 215 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,241 She said it was a bad idea to loan money 216 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,309 to anyone in your family. 217 00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:10,410 Oh, she's right. 218 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,979 What you're doing is stupid, 219 00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:14,014 and two grand should get it done. 220 00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:21,154 The kick is up... oh, and it's good! 221 00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:26,794 Hey, Baxter? 222 00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:29,763 Oh, God, what did I do? 223 00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:32,265 Nothing. I want to buy a car. 224 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:35,002 Can you just tell me why you're mad and skip the mind games? 225 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:38,672 I'm not here as your ex. I really do want to buy a car. 226 00:10:38,706 --> 00:10:40,941 You know, they cost money. 227 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,110 And I have some. 228 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,345 Well, then, come right in! 229 00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,347 Can I get you a complimentary cappuccino? 230 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,249 Hot chocolate 231 00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:52,319 They all come out of the same machine; it's a miracle. 232 00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:56,356 Just the car, thanks. 233 00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:59,827 I want a new one with buttons and seat heaters 234 00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,361 and a working turn signal. 235 00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:04,397 But it still has to be really cheap, so I need a deal. 236 00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:05,766 Where'd you get the money? 237 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,235 Oh, God. 238 00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:09,369 Christy, are you gambling again? 239 00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:15,408 And if so, who do you like tonight, Sharks or Calgary? 240 00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:18,411 I'm not gambling, and only idiots bet on hockey. 241 00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:21,882 Well, WNBA season doesn't start for a while. 242 00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:26,854 Oh. I know what's happening here. 243 00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:29,957 Your new little boyfriend is underwriting this dream. 244 00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,491 Hey, that's offensive. 245 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,927 I got the money from my mom's boyfriend. 246 00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:38,732 My new guy offered, and I said no. 247 00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:41,234 That is nothing to be proud of. 248 00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:43,236 Be like me. 249 00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:46,273 Find someone rich that you don't hate, and kick back. 250 00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,942 You're still cute enough to nab a sugar daddy. 251 00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:51,344 I should have gone to Nissan. 252 00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:55,015 Yeah, those are great cars. 253 00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:59,286 Face it, you and me, we're arm candy. 254 00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:01,288 Got to use it before you lose it. 255 00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:04,024 So you're saying I should drain everything I can 256 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,526 out of my boyfriend before I become an old hag? 257 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,329 Ticktock. 258 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,036 I always heard about this new-car smell. 259 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,838 I never knew it was real. 260 00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,840 Can you smell it? I can. 261 00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:23,076 And? Uh, definite upgrade. 262 00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:25,412 Yeah, I just couldn't get that wet-dog smell 263 00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:26,847 out of my old car. 264 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,081 Oh, yeah, you had a dog? 265 00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:30,483 Nope. Therein lies the mystery. 266 00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:33,253 Ooh, ooh, check this out. 267 00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:35,923 I don't have to roll down the window 268 00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,490 and yell "honk honk" anymore. 269 00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:38,458 That's great, babe. 270 00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:39,927 Where'd you get the money? 271 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,229 My ex-husband sells cars, 272 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,397 and he also loaned me the down payment. 273 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,366 Ooh, check this out. Satellite radio. 274 00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:48,401 Do you want to hear the Canadian comedy channel? 275 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:51,839 H-Hold on. So, uh, you wouldn't take money from me, 276 00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:54,174 but you took it from your ex 277 00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:56,376 Yeah, because that relationship's 278 00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:58,278 already burned down. 279 00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:02,182 Has it? I mean, what's this guy doing loaning you money? 280 00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:04,952 He's just a good guy. Well, I'm a good guy, 281 00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:08,588 but I don't write my ex any checks I don't have to. 282 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,191 So, does he want to get back together with you? 283 00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,193 Oh, God, no. 284 00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:16,263 Trust me, we tried a couple times; it did not work out. 285 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,431 A couple of times? Not recently. 286 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:19,499 Ah. Well, when? 287 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,969 Not since he got engaged. 288 00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:25,105 Wait, not since he got married. 289 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,508 You know, this story's not getting better. 290 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,944 Okay, look, 291 00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,445 I promised I wouldn't say anything, 292 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,614 but I got the money from your brother. 293 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,449 What? 294 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,486 Let's not make it a thing, okay? 295 00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:43,190 Yeah. Of course not. 296 00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:51,031 Where do you get off loaning my girlfriend money? 297 00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:52,499 You did what?! 298 00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:55,502 I thought it wasn't a thing! Nice job keeping a secret! 299 00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:57,637 I had to tell him; he thought I was sleeping with my ex. 300 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,206 You're sleeping with Baxter again? 301 00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:00,573 No! 302 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,643 No! 303 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,645 All right, we're cleaning this up. 304 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,647 How much did you loan her? 'Cause I'm giving it back 305 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,582 to you right now with interest. 306 00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:12,219 No, do not take his money. Oh, I'm not taking his money. 307 00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:13,286 Well, somebody's taking my money. 308 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,522 We could use a new fridge. 309 00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:19,426 Consider it done. Blank check, there you go. 310 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,095 You lend my girlfriend money, 311 00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:23,563 I lend your girlfriend money. 312 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:24,898 How's that feel? 313 00:14:24,932 --> 00:14:28,168 Great. Finally my beer will be cold. 314 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:31,171 Patrick, you cannot give money to my mom. 315 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,106 Especially a blank check. 316 00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:36,109 She'll have a black wig and new fingerprints by sundown. 317 00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:39,579 Look, your woman had a problem, I solved it. 318 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:40,948 Don't get all threatened. 319 00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:42,582 His woman? Screw you. 320 00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:43,984 Screw you! 321 00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,919 Screw both of you! 322 00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:48,922 Excuse... excuse me. I think I need to sit down for a minute. 323 00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:50,657 You okay? Yeah, it's just everybody's fighting, 324 00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,292 and nobody's mad at me. 325 00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:54,962 I-I don't know what I'm supposed to do. 326 00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,535 Hey, Baxter. 327 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,171 Hey. 328 00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:05,538 Sorry to interrupt your lunch. 329 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,074 Don't be. 330 00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:08,675 Candace made me a kale and salmon wrap. 331 00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,910 She fooled me 'cause it looked like a burrito. 332 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,382 Thanks for taking the car back. 333 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,384 I only put ten miles on it, 334 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:20,587 but they were the happiest ten miles of my life. 335 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:25,625 Ugh. Good-bye, sweet silver sedan. 336 00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:26,994 Take it. 337 00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:29,529 Rip the Band-Aid off. 338 00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:32,199 Christy, I'm not taking the car back. 339 00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:34,201 Unbelievable. 340 00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:35,635 You promised. 341 00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:39,572 You are the most selfish, 342 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,274 unreliable person I've ever met, 343 00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:42,542 and that includes my mother. 344 00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:44,311 And why the hell are you smiling?! 345 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:47,214 'Cause you're gonna feel so terrible in a second. 346 00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:48,615 What does that mean? 347 00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,655 I'm buying you the car. 348 00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:57,590 What? 349 00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:01,028 Look, we always focus on the bad stuff you did to me, 350 00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:03,496 but I did a lot of bad things to you. 351 00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:07,167 I would disappear for days on end, 352 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,170 I smoked your weed, I slept with your friends. 353 00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:12,305 Friends? I thought it was one. 354 00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:15,675 One friend six times, six friends one time. 355 00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:19,412 The point is... 356 00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:21,714 over the years, I've watched you 357 00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:24,051 make up for all the bad stuff you did wrong, 358 00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:26,553 and I found it really inspiring. 359 00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:32,392 So, this is me making an amendment to you. 360 00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,327 It's actually called an "amends." 361 00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:37,664 Dude, I'm giving you a free car. Get off my ass. 362 00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:40,167 You're right. I'm sorry. 363 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,169 But isn't Candace going to be upset 364 00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:43,770 about you spending money on me? 365 00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:45,572 Eh, she'll never know. 366 00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,807 I had a secret start-a-new-life fund, 367 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,643 but then I realized, who am I kidding? 368 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:54,381 Money's turned me into a house cat. 369 00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:57,084 Thank you, Baxter. Oh... 370 00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:59,086 Oh. 371 00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:00,287 Wait. 372 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,821 You're not doing this 373 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,790 so you can sleep with me, are you? 374 00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:07,494 Christy, I'm married. 375 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:10,630 So only if you insist. 376 00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:11,731 I'm good. 377 00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,766 Cool, cool. 378 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,643 You know, Baxter was kind of a dick to me, too. 379 00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:26,413 You think I can get a car? 380 00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:28,348 Maybe you can get an oil change, 381 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:32,685 like the one I'm getting in, uh, 2,981 miles. 382 00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:35,755 Whoa, whoa. A granola bar? 383 00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:38,191 Why don't you just saw a piece of wood in here? 384 00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:43,230 So I guess it's a no on this incredibly ripe peach? 385 00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:48,135 How are you gonna tell Patrick about the car? Mm. 386 00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,670 I ran him by the dealership to meet Baxter, 387 00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:53,606 who was hiding from his boss in a large tire. 388 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,175 Patrick's no longer threatened. 389 00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:57,076 Well played. 390 00:17:58,478 --> 00:17:59,746 Son of a bitch! 391 00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,681 Can I eat my peach now? 392 00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:03,683 Captioning sponsored by CBS and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 393 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:13,760 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 28254

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