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00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:03,104
Previously on Mom...
Santa Cruz is only
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00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:05,773
a three hour
and 12 minute drive.
3
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:08,676
Do you think we should try
the long
4
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:10,144
I'm game.
5
00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:12,613
Don't I know you from that time
we slept together?
6
00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:15,316
It's kind of a bad time.
I-I really got to study.
7
00:00:18,286 --> 00:00:21,055
This isn't just
hooking up anymore.
8
00:00:21,089 --> 00:00:26,127
Cooper, look... I just don't
have the same feelings for you.
9
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,528
I just don't get it, Christy.
10
00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:30,198
I mean, it would be one thing
if there was another guy.
11
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:31,532
Oh! There is.
12
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,467
There's totally another guy.
13
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,106
I guess I want to be
with the other guy.
14
00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:41,609
Wow, Christy's driving down
to Santa Cruz to see Patrick.
15
00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:44,212
* I'm so excited
16
00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:47,248
* And I just can't hide it
17
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:51,352
* I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know I want you *
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00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,387
* I want you.
19
00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:55,556
Come on, Bonnie!
20
00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,658
This wedding starts at 3:00.
21
00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:59,527
You ready?
Unfortunately,
22
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,729
yes.
23
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:04,432
Wow. You look...
24
00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:07,301
I know.
"Ho, ho, ho, Green Giant."
25
00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:09,803
How'd you get roped into this?
26
00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:11,605
I made the mistake
of being nice.
27
00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:14,208
Judy's in our meeting. One time
I told her to hang in there.
28
00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:15,809
Next thing I know,
I'm her emergency contact
29
00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:17,645
and a bridesmaid.
30
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:20,614
Wait a minute. I put on a tie
for a woman you barely know?
31
00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:22,316
You want to trade?
32
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:25,253
How did Christy get out of this?
33
00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:26,587
Judy hates her.
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00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:27,821
They shared the coffee
commitment once,
35
00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,723
and it almost
led to a fistfight.
36
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:32,260
Stupid Marjorie broke it up.
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00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:34,628
Have you seen my pearl earrings?
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00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:36,797
I've never noticed earrings
in my entire life.
39
00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:40,268
Except for the guy
at my Starbucks.
40
00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:42,470
He's got, like, a piece
of driftwood in there.
41
00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:47,908
Hey, Mom.
42
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,877
Hi. Do you know
where my pearl earrings are?
43
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:51,579
No idea.
44
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,214
And again, they're not pearls.
45
00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:55,683
They're just
white plastic beads.
46
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:58,586
Yeah, well, now I have no
earrings to wear to the wedding.
47
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,821
I've seen that dress.
You don't need earrings.
48
00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:03,491
You need a rim of salt
around your head.
49
00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:06,294
How's it going with Patrick?
50
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:09,330
It's not. I've been stuck
in traffic for hours.
51
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:11,665
I'm close to peeing
in my Big Gulp.
52
00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:14,802
If you do, make sure
you dump it out the window.
53
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:16,637
I had a bad experience once.
54
00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:22,276
After all this, I just hope
he's home when I get there.
55
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,911
You didn't call first?
56
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:26,480
No! You don't call ahead
57
00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:28,816
when you're about to make
a big romantic gesture.
58
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:31,352
Have you never seen
a Sandra Bullock movie?
59
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:33,554
Not willingly, no.
60
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:38,459
You don't call before you run to
the airport to stop the plane,
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00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,461
or bang on the church window,
62
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:44,598
or go back in time
to make sure your parents kiss.
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00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:47,167
You just do it.
64
00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:50,638
Mom
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00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:52,806
Damn it.
66
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,209
If you're there,
I can't hear you.
67
00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:56,610
Mom?
68
00:02:56,644 --> 00:02:58,279
I'm pretending
I can't hear her.
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00:02:58,312 --> 00:02:59,647
It drives her crazy.
70
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,317
Mom?
71
00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:05,219
Mom!
72
00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:06,554
Mom?!
73
00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:08,889
Mom?!
74
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,567
Oh, my God, he isn't here?
75
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,403
Oh, my God,
what have I done?
76
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:36,384
Oh, Lucy. Lucy girl.
77
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:37,651
Christy?
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00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:39,253
Hi.
79
00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:40,688
:
Hi.
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00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,490
Uh... what are you doing?
81
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:44,992
Making a big romantic gesture.
82
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:47,828
On my roses?
83
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:50,964
Patrick, I want to be with you.
84
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:52,800
Well, I want
to be with you, too.
85
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,368
Great.
I'll tell you what.
86
00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:56,437
Um, when you're done,
come on inside.
87
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:57,805
We'll have a little snack,
88
00:03:57,838 --> 00:04:00,774
and we'll erase
the security video together.
89
00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:05,279
I don't think your dog likes me.
90
00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:07,281
Well, you are on her spot.
91
00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:09,883
Come on, Lucy.
92
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,919
*
93
00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:31,305
Have you looked
at this schedule?
94
00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:33,907
The service is
an hour and a half.
95
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:36,977
It's a full Mass with Communion,
a "Blessing of the People."
96
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:39,380
What the hell is that?
97
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,782
It's when I whisper "Hail,
Satan" under my breath.
98
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,617
This is gonna be torture.
99
00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:45,919
Oh, relax. We'll just
make out in the back row.
100
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,855
Sweetheart,
you're in the ceremony.
101
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,657
Didn't you go to the rehearsal?
102
00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:52,926
Rehearsal?
I'm not hosting SNL.
103
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,663
Hey, when we finally do this,
I say we knock it out
104
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:57,030
at City Hall, grab some Chinese,
105
00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:59,032
and we're on a plane to Hawaii
by sundown.
106
00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:01,068
See, that is why
I am marrying you.
107
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,972
Some day.
108
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:07,675
Aw, geez, after the ceremony,
109
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,877
there's a 45-minute drive
to the reception?
110
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:11,812
This better be an open bar.
111
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:13,881
Yeah, about that...
112
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:15,916
Hmm, it's a dry wedding.
113
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:19,086
No alcohol?
Why didn't you tell me?
114
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:20,654
Same reason
you don't tell a baby
115
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:21,989
he's about to be circumcised.
116
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:37,638
Does she always do that?
117
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,106
Uh, well,
it's been a long time
118
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,409
since she's seen me
kissing anyone but her.
119
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:47,548
I have been waiting so
long to do this with you.
120
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,450
And by "this,"
I mean...
121
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:50,884
more than this.
122
00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:53,153
Like a naked
version of this.
123
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,922
Ooh, that sounds fun.
124
00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:00,961
Maybe without
Big Eyes.
Lucy,
125
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,496
squirrel in the back
of the house!
126
00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:06,700
There's no squirrels.
127
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,903
Mmm.
Oh. Mmm.
128
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,572
Mmm.
Oh.
129
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:13,841
I can't go back
any farther.
130
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,410
There's, like, nine
pillows behind me.
131
00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:19,012
Uh, yeah, well, uh,
my ex-wife is a decorator,
132
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,649
and she's really
into throw pillows.
133
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:23,016
And art and furniture.
134
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:26,420
Pretty much everything
in the house that's not me.
135
00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:28,155
Mmm.
136
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:33,861
So, what you're saying is your
ex-wife is kind of everywhere.
137
00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:39,833
Yeah. I never really
thought about that.
138
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:42,803
It's just that
it's our first time,
139
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:44,938
and I want it
to be perfect.
140
00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,574
You know what?
141
00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:48,742
I got a surprise
for y now.
142
00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:52,646
How about you and me find
a really nice hotel room?
143
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,848
Oh, my God, hotel sex?
144
00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:57,184
That's the best kind
of sex there is.
145
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:01,655
I know.
Such a beautiful service.
146
00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:03,591
So moving.
147
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,726
I'll see you at the reception.
148
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:09,096
Oh, my God, that
was endless.
149
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:12,466
The standing up,
the sitting down.
150
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,835
That guy walking around
throwing smoke at people.
151
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:17,471
And if I have to wait
in line for a cracker,
152
00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:20,741
would it kill 'em to spray
a little cheese on it?
153
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,042
I don't know. I thought
154
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,777
the children's choir
was kind of nice.
155
00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:25,145
Really? 'Cause I was hoping
156
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:27,114
a bigger choir would come
and beat 'em up.
157
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:29,917
Come on. They were singing
about love in Italian.
158
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,052
Oh, they could have been
singing about linguine.
159
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:35,022
You don't know.
160
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:36,524
Are your eyes red?
161
00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:39,793
Please tell me
you weren't crying.
162
00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:42,496
No. Just...
the whole thing got to me
163
00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:44,031
a little more
than I thought it would.
164
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:46,834
When they took
their two little candles
165
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:50,203
and lit the one big candle.
166
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:54,007
They're the one big candle now.
167
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:56,076
Sorry, I didn't notice.
168
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:57,845
At that point, I was trying
169
00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:01,849
to slice my Spanx open
with a nail clipper.
170
00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:03,216
Hey, would it be so terrible
171
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,152
if we did the candle thing
at our wedding?
172
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,920
Maybe we even get married
in a church.
173
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:08,622
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
174
00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:11,024
What happened to City Hall,
Chinese food, Hawaii?
175
00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:14,261
I don't know. Maybe we should
do something more traditional.
176
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:18,832
The only reason I am not
driving head-on into traffic
177
00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:21,168
is I don't want to
die in this dress.
178
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:27,207
So this room's
working for you.
179
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,309
Oh, yeah.
180
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:35,983
Was that you?
181
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,786
Not yet.
182
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:42,289
MAN :
Oh, God, yes.
183
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:47,160
Still not me.
184
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,229
You know what? I think
we've got some neighbors.
185
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:51,699
Why don't we try
to tune 'em out?
186
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,535
(thudding continues,
bed squeaking rhythmically)
187
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:58,639
WOMAN :
Oh!
188
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:18,058
Well, that guy has
a gear I don't have.
189
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,795
I'm really sorry.
190
00:09:21,829 --> 00:09:24,331
No, no, no, no, no.
I get it. I get it.
191
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,900
That second girl
got pretty loud.
192
00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:30,103
So where to now?
193
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:33,774
Well, I'm gonna take us
to my favorite beach.
194
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:37,044
It's really secluded
and very romantic.
195
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:40,681
Oh. The beach.
196
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:43,383
I think you mean,
"Oh, the beach!"
197
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,052
No, I-I love the beach.
198
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,755
I just don't love
the beach naked.
Ah.
199
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:50,223
Women are kind of
like English muffins.
200
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,793
We have a lot
of nooks and crannies.
201
00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:57,898
What's going on?
202
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,970
Well,
Christy, um...
203
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,938
I just got to ask.
204
00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:07,107
Are you having
second thoughts about this?
205
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,842
What? No.
No, no, no.
206
00:10:08,876 --> 00:10:11,044
It-it's okay,
because i-if you're not
207
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:13,380
feeling right about it,
then we can wait.
208
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,182
No, I don't want to wait.
209
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:16,917
I just want to look
back on tonight
210
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:21,421
and be like,
"aw," not "meh."
211
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,391
Well, nobody's looking
for "meh."
212
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:27,160
It's just that if the
first time isn't great,
213
00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:29,396
then the next time you're
worried it won't be good again,
214
00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:31,164
and then you're all
messed up in your head,
215
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:33,333
and then the
pressure's really on.
216
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:37,204
I never thought of it
that way.
217
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,673
But I am now.
218
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,276
You know what?
I'm being ridiculous.
219
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,878
Of course it's gonna
be perfect,
220
00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:46,113
because it's you and me.
221
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,782
Yeah.
222
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:50,751
You know what?
223
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,352
Let's do it
right here, right now.
224
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,387
Oh.
225
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:57,257
Ha. Well, you're-you're-you're
putting a lot of pressure
226
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:58,959
on the next six minutes.
227
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:01,895
Let's take this party
to the back.
228
00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:03,363
Phew.
229
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:10,203
You got to be back here
for the party.
230
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:13,373
Yes, I know how sex
works.
231
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,876
Are you all right?
232
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:18,445
Well, I was until you started
talking about all that stuff.
233
00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:20,047
How can it be perfect?
234
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,248
I've never been perfect.
235
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:23,216
I've been very good at best.
236
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:24,484
It's okay, Patrick.
237
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,953
No, it's not
okay. It's not.
238
00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:27,454
I-I-I can't breathe.
239
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,456
I-I need some air.
240
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:34,227
I changed my mind!
241
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:36,263
I'd be perfectly happy
with "meh."
242
00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:48,742
How you feeling,
Patrick?
243
00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:52,479
Ah, pretty embarrassed, Christy.
244
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:54,114
Can I come over and visit?
245
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,950
Okay.
246
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,529
This is my fault.
247
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:12,365
I made tonight into
a way bigger deal
248
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,234
than it needed to be.
No.
249
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,804
I-It's not you.
It's not you.
250
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,471
Look, I was married
for 30 years
251
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:21,108
and the last five, we
didn't touch each other.
252
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:22,542
And all that talk
about being perfect
253
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,545
triggered what
WebMD diagnosed
254
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:28,916
as a mild-to-moderate
panic attack.
255
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,884
That's not sexy.
256
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:33,987
I think you're very sexy.
257
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,891
So, you're still interested
258
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:40,027
in a middle-aged neurotic
259
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,495
with only one-and-a-half
notches on his belt?
260
00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:45,765
Very interested.
261
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,338
How 'bout this?
262
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,573
We go back to your place,
go to sleep--
263
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,542
and I mean actual sleep--
264
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:57,878
and start fresh
in the morning.
265
00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,779
I love that idea.
266
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,889
So I'm curious.
267
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:12,092
What counts as half a notch?
268
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,130
I'm holding firm on my stance.
269
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:18,899
You're not supposed
to take that.
270
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:21,034
They ran out of centerpieces.
271
00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:24,972
And I deserve a takeaway
272
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:27,007
for the pain and
suffering of this dress.
273
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,309
Pretty sure
that's hotel property.
274
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:30,443
No, they expect you to take 'em.
275
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:31,979
It's like robes and televisions.
276
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:36,383
How amazing was that reception?
277
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:37,885
What was so great about it?
278
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:40,620
Did you not see
the mountain of gifts?
279
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,355
They wiped out Pottery Barn.
280
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:43,823
Now it's just a barn.
281
00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:47,160
You really think they need
all that junk?
282
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,229
Of course not.
They're at the store tomorrow,
283
00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:51,598
returning all that stuff
for cold, hard cash.
284
00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:53,633
And how 'bout the dollar dance?
285
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,169
You pin money on the bride
to dance with her?
286
00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:58,906
What genius
came up with that idea?
287
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:01,341
Probably the first stripper
to get married.
288
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,378
Well, I am definitely doing that
at our wedding.
289
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,047
And I'll make more money,
290
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,117
because I've six feet
of pinnable area.
291
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,518
You're incredible.
292
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,186
You know what else we could do?
293
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:14,888
Corporate sponsors.
294
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,458
"Do you, Bonnie, take Adam
to be your husband?"
295
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,593
"I sure do, especially
after driving here
296
00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:23,230
on Firestone tires."
297
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:29,169
Honey, our wedding
could be a real cash cow.
298
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,471
Wow.
299
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:34,441
I tell you how moved I was
by this beautiful ceremony,
300
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,143
and you crap all over it.
301
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:38,411
And then you see a pile
of toaster ovens
302
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:40,547
and a woman with 20s
taped to her ass,
303
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,282
and you can't get enough.
304
00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:45,052
Oh, so you're allowed
to change your mind
305
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,087
about what kind of wedding
you want, but I'm not?
306
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,321
No, it's bigger than
our wedding, Bonnie.
307
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:49,990
It's about what we want in life.
308
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,931
I want a fiancé who's
not a Catholic schoolgirl.
309
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:08,508
Oh. Oh.
310
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:09,609
Good morning.
311
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:11,678
Lucy, off.
312
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:14,081
Oh. No, no, no, no, no.
It's-it's okay.
313
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:16,316
No, it's not okay.
She's on the boys.
314
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:17,617
Lucy, off.
Come on. Come on.
315
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,486
Attagirl.
316
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,621
Phew. Hey.
317
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,090
How'd you sleep?
318
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,424
Ah.
Huh.
319
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,293
Great. You?
320
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:28,261
Excellent.
321
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:30,663
I think we got this part
of the relationship down.
322
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:34,334
Yes, we have
nailed sleeping.
All right.
323
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:35,435
Well, you know what?
324
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:36,970
That settles it then.
325
00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:39,139
We'll be one of those
weird couples who sleeps
326
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:41,441
in the same room
and never has sex.
327
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:42,675
Like Bert and Ernie.
328
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:45,678
Oh, those guys are
totally doing it.
329
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:48,115
Well, then,
maybe we should.
330
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:59,126
Oh, boy, I'm so glad
we didn't give up on this.
331
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:00,327
Me, too.
332
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,096
I mean, the-the
long-distance thing
333
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:06,299
could have been a lot
for other people, you know?
334
00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:10,003
I mean, we could've just
started seeing someone else.
335
00:16:10,037 --> 00:16:13,173
I'm really happy we didn't.
336
00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:17,177
We didn't, right?
337
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,215
Well...
338
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:25,618
Why on Earth would
you tell Patrick
339
00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:27,320
you slept with
another guy
340
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:29,656
right before you were about
to sleep with Patrick?
341
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:31,191
It just came up.
342
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,460
How?
I brought it up.
343
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,596
Cold SpaghettiOs?
344
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:38,298
That says self-loathing.
345
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:42,469
Yeah, and I'm using the spoon
that snags your lip.
346
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:45,172
Ow.
347
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:47,174
I deserve that.
348
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:48,675
So why did you tell him?
349
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:51,811
I didn't want to start the
relationship off with a lie.
350
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:55,148
That's fine, but you got to
bang their brains out first.
351
00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:57,450
Then you can be honest.
352
00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,186
I do it with Adam
all the time.
353
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:00,320
It's the main
reason we have sex.
354
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,589
Oh, it is not.
355
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,692
You and Adam are great together.
356
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,794
I'd give anything
for what you have.
357
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:10,497
Not today. We had
a huge fight.
358
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,233
All of a sudden he wants a
traditional church wedding.
359
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:16,336
Doesn't he know that if you walk
into a church wearing white,
360
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,405
you'll burst into flames?
361
00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:21,308
Thank you.
362
00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:32,585
Mom
363
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:35,488
Are you somewhere in here
having sex?
364
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:38,691
Boy, I hope not.
365
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:42,095
Patrick.
366
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:45,798
This is for me?
367
00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:48,568
Well, you're not the only one
368
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:51,438
who can make
a big romantic gesture.
369
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:55,642
* Slow ride
370
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:56,743
* Take it easy...
371
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:59,512
Sorry, uh, wrong song!
372
00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:01,381
I-I work out to that.
373
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:02,549
Okay.
374
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,783
That's supposed to be Seal.
375
00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:06,286
And, uh, oh, sorry.
376
00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:07,887
Oh, I-I-I can't find it.
377
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,323
Uh, look,
j-just try to imagine
378
00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:12,625
"Kiss From a Rose"
playing in the back...
379
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:20,133
I love that you
did all this.
380
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:23,403
I'm-I'm so sorry
I overreacted.
381
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,172
You easily could have lied
and I never
382
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:26,273
would have known.
I forgive you.
383
00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:27,340
Bedroom's this way.
384
00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:28,608
Uh...
385
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:31,244
Oh, damn it.
What?
386
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:32,545
I forgot condoms.
387
00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:34,347
Oh, I got
a ton of 'em.
388
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:35,715
Don't think about it.
389
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,584
Just get up here.
390
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:53,200
Hey.
391
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,567
Thanks for coming over.
392
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,603
I don't like the way
we left things the other day.
393
00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:00,440
:
Wow, Bonnie.
394
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,342
You didn't have
to do all this.
395
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:04,211
Oh, no, I...
396
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:06,813
Yes, yes, I did.
397
00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:09,516
I absolutely did.
398
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:12,619
Because I love you.
399
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:20,327
I love you, too. Mmm.
400
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,495
Look, I don't want to fight
about wedding stuff.
401
00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:24,697
I don't either. Let's just
kick the can down the road.
402
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:26,233
Or, I've been thinking,
why don't we throw out
403
00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:27,534
the can altogether?
404
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,202
What does that mean?
405
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:30,770
Let's just keep things
the way they are
406
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:32,705
and stay engaged forever.
407
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:34,807
But I want to marry you.
408
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:40,513
Well, I asked you six months ago
and you won't set a date.
409
00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:43,583
You know, clearly, you don't
want to be the big candle.
410
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,718
I do. I do want to
be the big candle.
411
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:47,820
Let's just be happy
with what we have.
412
00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:53,393
No.
413
00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:55,228
Next year.
414
00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:57,364
First weekend in June. Done.
Bonnie, Bonnie.
415
00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:58,498
We're doing it.
I just did it.
Bonnie, we don't...
416
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,400
Deal with it.
Order the doves.
417
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:01,701
Esp...
Watch this.
418
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,336
I'm gonna put it
in the calendar.
419
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,374
Adam Barnabus Janikowski,
420
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:08,875
did I just get played?
421
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,877
Still not my middle name.
422
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,612
And that depends.
423
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:14,247
Should I open this card
424
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:15,748
that's sitting in "my" flowers?
425
00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:19,852
June it is.
426
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:22,722
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
427
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:27,760
and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
428
00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:29,796
Captioned by
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