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1
00:00:02,089 --> 00:00:03,960
[dramatic music plays on TV]
2
00:00:04,047 --> 00:00:05,222
[gunshot on TV]
3
00:00:05,309 --> 00:00:07,007
Oh, my God.
She shot him!
4
00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:08,182
I can'’t believe
she shot him.
5
00:00:08,269 --> 00:00:09,705
This woman is a monster.
6
00:00:09,792 --> 00:00:11,446
Yeah, but look at her jacket.
7
00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:12,795
I want that jacket.
8
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,493
She just murdered her boyfriend.
9
00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:17,017
It'’s covered in his blood.
10
00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:19,019
A little club soda--
it comes right out.
11
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,022
[cell phone rings]
12
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,025
Who are you avoiding?
13
00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:26,635
Nobody. Not important.
14
00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:28,680
Oh, no.
15
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:31,205
Please tell me she'’s not
going to poison his daughter.
16
00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:33,859
She should poison
whoever cut her hair.
17
00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:35,557
What?
18
00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:39,169
She can get away with murder,
but not those bangs.
19
00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:43,217
Do you even pay
attention to the plot?
20
00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:45,219
Of course, I do.
I love this show.
21
00:00:46,394 --> 00:00:48,048
I also love that kitchen.
22
00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:50,050
I wish we had a pizza oven.
23
00:00:52,226 --> 00:00:54,054
[cell phone rings]
24
00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:58,188
Same "nobody-not-
important?"
Yep.
25
00:00:58,275 --> 00:00:59,276
You know I'’m gonna
go through your phone
26
00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:00,408
when you'’re not looking.
27
00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:01,496
I changed the passcode.
28
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:03,063
You mean 1147?
29
00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:05,326
I'’ll just change it again.
30
00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:06,544
1157?
31
00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:08,720
Get out of my head.
32
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:09,852
Was it Marjorie?No.
33
00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:11,027
Jill?No.
34
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:12,159
Wendy?No.
35
00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:13,551
Mary?Who'’s Mary?
36
00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:16,163
I'’ll take that as a no.
37
00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,295
Let'’s see.
38
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,036
It'’s somebody you
don'’t want to talk to,
39
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:23,344
so it'’s either
sex or money.
40
00:01:23,431 --> 00:01:25,998
Boy, that does not
narrow things down.
41
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,870
Fine. It'’s Adam.
42
00:01:27,957 --> 00:01:29,611
Adam?
43
00:01:29,698 --> 00:01:31,265
Wrong number boyfriend, Adam?
44
00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:32,918
Not boyfriend.
45
00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:34,572
We met once for coffee
and didn'’t hit it off.
46
00:01:34,659 --> 00:01:35,704
So why is he calling?
47
00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:37,401
I don'’t know.
48
00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:38,924
We gonna watch the show
or are you just gonna annoy me?
49
00:01:39,011 --> 00:01:40,448
I can do both.
50
00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:43,712
So what?
51
00:01:43,799 --> 00:01:44,669
You'’re not even friends
with him, anymore?
52
00:01:44,756 --> 00:01:46,497
No, not really.
53
00:01:46,584 --> 00:01:48,543
Why? I mean I get that
you didn'’t have chemistry...
54
00:01:48,630 --> 00:01:50,371
Oh, grow up. I lied.[pauses TV]
55
00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:51,720
He stood me up.
56
00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:54,462
Really?
Why didn'’t you tell me?
57
00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:56,377
'’Cause I didn'’t want
to see your pity face.
58
00:01:56,464 --> 00:01:57,595
Aw.
59
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:02,774
So you haven'’t
spoken to him since?
60
00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:04,472
Why should I?
You know my policy:
61
00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:06,822
Fool me once,
you'’re dead to me.
62
00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,780
[TV resumes playing]
63
00:02:10,913 --> 00:02:12,306
But maybe there'’s
an explanation.
64
00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:14,003
[pauses TV]
65
00:02:14,090 --> 00:02:16,440
What possible explanation
could he have?
66
00:02:16,527 --> 00:02:17,746
I don'’t know.
67
00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,226
Maybe one of his parents died.
68
00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:20,401
Oh, there'’s a happy thought.
69
00:02:20,488 --> 00:02:22,794
For some people.
70
00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:24,709
And he was so overcome
with grief,
71
00:02:24,796 --> 00:02:26,320
he couldn'’t pick up
the phone and text,
72
00:02:26,407 --> 00:02:28,887
"Mom'’s dead, mind if
my dad tags along?"
73
00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:33,631
I think you
should call him.
74
00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:36,417
I think we need
a second television.
75
00:02:36,504 --> 00:02:38,767
Was that supposed
to hurt my feelings?
76
00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:40,856
'’Cause I agree.
77
00:02:45,077 --> 00:02:46,731
[quietly]:
And redial.
78
00:02:46,818 --> 00:02:48,472
Mom, hurry up!
79
00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:50,126
She'’s about to kill
somebody else!
80
00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:51,475
You'’re watching without me?
81
00:02:51,562 --> 00:02:53,216
I would never do that.
82
00:02:53,303 --> 00:02:54,522
Hi, Adam?
It'’s Christy.
83
00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:56,350
My mom wants
to talk to you.
84
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:59,266
I should'’ve sold you
when I had the chance.
85
00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:05,489
You have ten seconds
to tell me why you stood me up.
86
00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:08,318
Uh-huh.
87
00:03:08,405 --> 00:03:10,015
[scoffs]
Uh-huh.
88
00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:11,234
Yeah, hold on.
89
00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:12,931
I'’m gonna put you on speaker.
90
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,759
I want my daughter
to hear this steamin'’ load.
91
00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:16,979
Go ahead, Adam.
92
00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:18,981
See if you can say that
again without laughing.
93
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,852
ADAM:
I said, I'’m in a wheelchair
94
00:03:20,939 --> 00:03:22,898
and I guess I just
lost my nerve.
95
00:03:22,985 --> 00:03:26,162
Hilarious.
Do you believe this guy?
96
00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:28,077
That doesn'’t sound like
something you'’d make up.
97
00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:29,731
Oh, please.
I'’d make that up.
98
00:03:29,818 --> 00:03:31,428
I have made that up.
99
00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:33,735
Disneyland,
all the rides, no waiting.
100
00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:35,998
I believe you, Adam.
101
00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:37,086
Thank you, Christy.
102
00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:38,479
Bonnie, I'’m really sorry.
103
00:03:38,566 --> 00:03:41,090
I guess I was just afraid
when you saw me,
104
00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:42,396
you wouldn'’t want
to go out with me.
105
00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:45,486
How dare you?
106
00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:47,705
You really think
I'’m the kind of person
107
00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,446
who wouldn'’t go out with someone
'’cause they'’re handicapped?
108
00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:51,883
That'’s so offensive.
109
00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:54,582
So you'’ll go out with me?
110
00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:56,584
Um...
111
00:03:57,846 --> 00:04:00,805
Well, I kinda have to, now.
112
00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:02,242
Great. Saturday night?
113
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:03,504
Fine.
114
00:04:03,591 --> 00:04:05,506
Thanks for giving me
another chance.
115
00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:07,421
Well, I'’m nothing
if not forgiving.
116
00:04:07,508 --> 00:04:08,335
She'’s nothing.
117
00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:13,296
See you Saturday.
118
00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,125
Me and a guy
in a wheelchair.
119
00:04:16,212 --> 00:04:17,605
That'’s a first.
120
00:04:17,692 --> 00:04:20,260
Yeah, you'’re gonna
want to wear flats.
121
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:25,047
♪
122
00:04:40,932 --> 00:04:42,238
I just don'’t know
what to expect.
123
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:44,022
Have any of you ever
dated a handicapped guy?
124
00:04:44,109 --> 00:04:46,851
When I was in high school,
my boyfriend had a glass eye.
125
00:04:46,938 --> 00:04:47,939
Was it a problem?
126
00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:49,419
No, I loved it.
127
00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:51,116
If I was having a bad hair day,
or a giant zit,
128
00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:53,031
I'’d just stand
on his blind side.
129
00:04:54,685 --> 00:04:57,297
When I was homeless,
I dated a guy with a hook.
130
00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:01,431
Well, dated is not
the right word.
131
00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:02,867
You share a cardboard box,
132
00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:05,479
it'’s really more
a marriage of convenience.
133
00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:07,524
What about the hook?
134
00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:09,134
Did it complicate things?
135
00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:10,571
Kinda.
136
00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:13,138
We were constantly
having to get new boxes.
137
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:17,229
I'’m just... I'’m not sure
what I'’m getting into.
138
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,883
Am I supposed to carry
him up the stairs?
139
00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,581
Help him in the bathroom?
140
00:05:20,668 --> 00:05:22,844
You mean like I used to do
with you when you were drunk?
141
00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:24,933
Yeah, yeah.
Rough childhood.
142
00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:26,456
Moving along.
143
00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:27,762
Bonnie, it'’s just dinner.
144
00:05:27,849 --> 00:05:29,198
I don'’t think
you have to worry
145
00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:30,547
about any of that stuff.
146
00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:31,940
Speaking of stuff.
147
00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:33,202
What about his stuff?
148
00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:34,769
What if his stuff doesn'’t work?
149
00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:36,510
That doesn'’t mean
you can'’t have fun.
150
00:05:36,597 --> 00:05:37,859
Yeah.
151
00:05:37,946 --> 00:05:39,730
His tongue'’s not
in a wheelchair.
152
00:05:41,819 --> 00:05:43,299
Good point.
153
00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:45,170
And depending on where
his spinal injury was,
154
00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:47,564
he might still have a
fully functioning penis.
155
00:05:49,523 --> 00:05:51,916
So to summarize, Mommy,
oral sex is a go,
156
00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:54,615
and you may or may not
have something to sit on.
157
00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:57,487
Oh, my God.
158
00:05:57,574 --> 00:05:59,489
Could we be
any more shallow?
159
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:01,622
What about this
guy'’s personality?
160
00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:03,450
His intelligence,
his sense of humor.
161
00:06:03,537 --> 00:06:05,321
I'’ve actually talked to him
on the phone for hours.
162
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:06,670
He'’s really smart and funny.
163
00:06:06,757 --> 00:06:07,976
Yeah, so is Ben Franklin.
164
00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:09,325
What'’s he look like?
165
00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:11,936
Hang on.
166
00:06:13,111 --> 00:06:14,243
Here'’s his Facebook page.
167
00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:16,854
[gasps]
Oh, he'’s cute.
168
00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:18,943
Let me see.
169
00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:20,684
Yum.
170
00:06:20,771 --> 00:06:23,252
That'’s a face you
could share a box with.
171
00:06:23,339 --> 00:06:25,036
Give me.
172
00:06:25,123 --> 00:06:26,603
Oh, yeah.
173
00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:28,779
I could call him Daddy.
174
00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:34,306
Oops, that came out creepy.
175
00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:38,049
I don'’t know
about this dress.
176
00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:39,964
What?
You look great.
177
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:41,313
Well, that'’s '’cause you'’re
looking from up here.
178
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,054
He'’s going to be
looking from down here.
179
00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:44,534
So he doesn'’t get the benefit
180
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,275
of all this
well-engineered cleavage.
181
00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:48,495
So wait for
the right moment,
182
00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:50,148
drop something,
and bend over to pick it up.
183
00:06:50,235 --> 00:06:52,412
Oh, please.
That is such a cheap move.
184
00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:54,065
You taught it to me.
185
00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:56,503
Yeah, well, I was trying
to help you through junior high.
186
00:06:58,635 --> 00:06:59,941
[doorbell rings]
187
00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:01,986
I believe that'’s him.
Do you mind?
188
00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:03,118
I want to make
an entrance.
189
00:07:03,205 --> 00:07:04,424
I got it.
190
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,295
Christy?
Yeah?
191
00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:09,864
Don'’t discuss his... you know,
unfortunate situation.
192
00:07:09,951 --> 00:07:11,518
You mean that he'’s about
to go out with a crazy person?
193
00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:18,438
Hello.
194
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,091
Hey. You must be Adam.
195
00:07:20,178 --> 00:07:21,528
What gave me away?
196
00:07:22,703 --> 00:07:23,704
Come on in.
197
00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:26,402
She'’ll be right down.
198
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,186
Can I get you
something to drink?
199
00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:30,145
Well, I know you guys don'’t keep
any alcohol in the house,
200
00:07:30,232 --> 00:07:32,147
so, uh... no.
201
00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:33,540
Yeah, sorry.
202
00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:34,976
You'’re about
three years late
203
00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:36,978
for watching me light
my breath on fire.
204
00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:39,502
BONNIE:
Hi.
205
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:44,028
Hi.
206
00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:45,987
Thanks for showing up this time.
207
00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:47,641
Really?
208
00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:49,207
You'’re gonna take a shot
right out of the gate?
209
00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:53,081
It'’s not too
late to run.
210
00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:54,865
I mean, roll.
211
00:07:54,952 --> 00:07:56,214
I mean... I'’m sorry.
212
00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:58,826
She put it
in my head.
213
00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:02,743
I see you'’ve met my
socially awkward daughter.
214
00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:03,874
Oops.
215
00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:08,052
Did you get
all that?
216
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:10,577
Oh, yeah.
Both barrels.
217
00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:11,795
Shall we?
218
00:08:11,882 --> 00:08:13,144
We shall.
219
00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:14,319
Good night, Christy.
220
00:08:14,406 --> 00:08:15,799
Good night.
221
00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:17,235
Don'’t keep her
out too late.I won'’t.
222
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:18,628
I'’m joking. Keep her.
223
00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:19,803
Don'’t bring her back.
224
00:08:22,284 --> 00:08:24,025
So how does
this work?
225
00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:25,983
Do I drive?
226
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:27,550
No, I have a car.
227
00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:29,509
Oh. Okay.
228
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:32,120
How do you
make it stop?
229
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:38,082
Thanks. This is perfect.
230
00:08:40,476 --> 00:08:43,131
Do people always stare at you?
231
00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:46,047
What are you talking about?
232
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:48,005
They'’re staring at you.Stop.
233
00:08:48,092 --> 00:08:49,920
No, I'’m serious.
You'’re a giant.
234
00:08:50,007 --> 00:08:51,879
They think you might eat them.
235
00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:55,404
I'’m gonna have a beer.
236
00:08:55,491 --> 00:08:56,579
Does it bother you if I drink?
237
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:58,625
Does it bother you
if I walk?
238
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,278
Not if you'’re in front of me.
239
00:09:00,365 --> 00:09:01,976
I like the view from back there.
240
00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:04,326
Good answer.
241
00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:10,550
So, listen, you don'’t seem
like the shy, nervous type.
242
00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:12,726
Why'’d you really bail on me
last time?
243
00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:16,730
Yeah, I guess I gotta
clear that up.
244
00:09:16,817 --> 00:09:19,123
Okay.
245
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:21,691
Here'’s the thing.
246
00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:25,042
Usually, when I meet a woman,
she sees the chair right away,
247
00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:27,044
and I can tell
from the look in her eye
248
00:09:27,131 --> 00:09:29,264
whether she'’s okay
with it or not.
249
00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:30,526
But we met on the phone.
250
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:33,834
Which is why...
251
00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:35,531
I couldn'’t bear the idea
252
00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:38,621
of you seeing me
and giving me that look.
253
00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:43,234
Like the woman behind you
is giving me right now.
254
00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:44,888
Don'’t turn around.
255
00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:46,237
No, don'’t...Hey.
256
00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:49,284
Am I staring
at the baldy you'’re with?
257
00:09:54,898 --> 00:09:56,987
Is it too soon
to say "I love you"?
258
00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:03,167
So anyway, after working
as a Hollywood stuntman
259
00:10:03,254 --> 00:10:04,473
for 20 some years,
260
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,606
I felt kind of invincible.
261
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:08,782
You know, the occasional
broken nose,
262
00:10:08,869 --> 00:10:10,610
dislocated shoulder, but nothin'’
263
00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:13,090
a couple of aspirin
and a six-pack couldn'’t fix.
264
00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:14,352
So is that how you...
265
00:10:14,439 --> 00:10:15,789
You'’d think so, but no.
266
00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:18,269
After putting my
life on the line,
267
00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:20,315
driving motorcycles
through fire,
268
00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:22,534
crashing cars into walls,
269
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,014
working with Burt Reynolds...
270
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:28,802
...I get the brilliant idea
to try snowboarding.
271
00:10:28,889 --> 00:10:30,455
Oh, no.I'’m thinking,
272
00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:31,631
I know how to ski.
273
00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:32,849
I know how to surf.
274
00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:33,937
It'’s the same thing, right?
275
00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:35,591
So I get up on the mountain.
276
00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:37,549
I got this stupid piece
of wood strapped to my feet.
277
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,726
I am flying down the hill.
278
00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:41,162
I'’m doing good.
279
00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:42,380
I see a sign.
280
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:44,208
It says,
"Danger, barranca ahead."
281
00:10:44,295 --> 00:10:46,384
What'’s a barranca?That'’s what I'’m thinking.
282
00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:48,735
I'’m looking around,
is it a bear, is it a tree?
283
00:10:48,822 --> 00:10:51,825
Turns out it'’s a... cliff.
284
00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:53,696
And you...
285
00:10:53,783 --> 00:10:56,046
Right off the edge.
286
00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:58,658
200 feet straight down.
287
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:03,532
I felt like Wile E. Coyote,
288
00:11:03,619 --> 00:11:05,882
but substantially dumber.
289
00:11:05,969 --> 00:11:08,929
Oh, God.
290
00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:11,192
You want to hear the real
embarrassing part?
291
00:11:11,279 --> 00:11:12,802
Always.
292
00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:17,067
On the way down...
293
00:11:17,154 --> 00:11:19,548
I-I tried flapping my arms.
294
00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:20,941
[laughing]
295
00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:23,639
I'’m sorry.
I don'’t mean to laugh.
296
00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:25,380
Why? It'’s funny.
I was just...
297
00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:27,338
Oh, God, it really is.
298
00:11:27,425 --> 00:11:30,124
[laughing]
299
00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:35,738
[laughing]
300
00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:38,262
Whee!
301
00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:40,569
This is fun.
302
00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:42,614
Hang on.
303
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,225
Oh, now you'’re just showing off.
304
00:11:44,312 --> 00:11:46,444
[laughing]
305
00:11:46,531 --> 00:11:47,837
Yeah, well, I can'’t
keep bending over
306
00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:49,012
to pick up my purse.
307
00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,187
Hey.
308
00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:51,580
Not that I'’m complaining.
309
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:55,279
Okay, well, this is my stop.
310
00:11:55,366 --> 00:11:57,151
Tonight was great.
311
00:11:57,238 --> 00:11:58,587
Can we do it again?
312
00:11:58,674 --> 00:11:59,675
We better.
313
00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:02,069
Good.
314
00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:18,259
All right.
Well, good night.
315
00:12:22,219 --> 00:12:23,960
Good night.
316
00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:34,275
This time, I mean it.
317
00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:38,975
Oops.
318
00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:40,760
Thank you.
319
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:57,037
ALL:
So?
320
00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:07,569
over here to see
how my date went.
321
00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:09,397
No. We went
to a meeting.
322
00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:10,833
Had coffee.And then we
drove over here
323
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,052
to see how your date went.
324
00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:13,183
So how'’d
your date go?
325
00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:14,576
Okay.
326
00:13:14,663 --> 00:13:16,970
Here'’s the headline.
327
00:13:17,057 --> 00:13:18,667
Best date of my life.
328
00:13:18,754 --> 00:13:19,886
Oh, my God.Oh, that'’s so
wonderful.
329
00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:21,061
Great dinner.
330
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:22,236
No awkward pauses.
331
00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:23,759
Didn'’t have to
fake any laughs.
332
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:26,457
And he finished it off
with the perfect first kiss.
333
00:13:26,544 --> 00:13:28,068
BOTH:
Aw.
334
00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:29,591
I'’m so happy
for you, Bonnie.
335
00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:30,940
Yeah, you deserve this.
336
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:32,420
I don'’t want to get
ahead of myself,
337
00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,204
but I think
Bonnie Plunkett Janikowski
338
00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:36,119
will get easier
to say with time.
339
00:13:37,599 --> 00:13:39,253
You would actually
keep Plunkett?
340
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,428
You'’re right.
341
00:13:40,515 --> 00:13:42,734
Why help the
creditors find me.
342
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,475
Listen, I think this is great,
343
00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:47,435
but at the risk of sounding like
a wet blanket, take it slow.
344
00:13:47,522 --> 00:13:48,915
Be smart.
345
00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:50,917
Oh, please. If I took
things slow and smart,
346
00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:53,267
this one wouldn'’t exist.
347
00:13:53,354 --> 00:13:56,183
I'’m just saying,
take it one day at a time.
348
00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:57,924
Well, maybe I don'’t want
to take it one day at a time.
349
00:13:58,011 --> 00:14:00,404
Maybe I want to be
high on life, on love.
350
00:14:00,491 --> 00:14:02,406
On whatever I can get high on
that doesn'’t require me
351
00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:04,713
going to
a freakin'’ 12 step meeting.
352
00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:08,412
Okay. Sorry.
353
00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:10,371
It'’s your life.
354
00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:14,462
I have a question.
355
00:14:14,549 --> 00:14:16,464
What'’s goin'’ on
with your boobs?
356
00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:23,210
Is your mom coming
to the meeting?
357
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:24,689
No.
358
00:14:24,776 --> 00:14:27,475
She'’s got another date
with hot wheels.
359
00:14:27,562 --> 00:14:29,303
Oh, good for her.
360
00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:31,609
Yeah. I'’m not so sure.
361
00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:32,784
Why?
362
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,221
Okay, so,
363
00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:35,657
there'’s this waitress
I work with,
364
00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:37,006
Andrea.
365
00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:38,921
I happened to mention
my mom'’s dating
366
00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:40,836
this former stuntman
in a wheelchair.
367
00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,794
How do you happen
to mention that?
368
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,231
It'’s called gossip, Marjorie.
369
00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:46,059
I'’m not proud of it,
but there you are.
370
00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:49,410
Anyway, turns out,
371
00:14:49,497 --> 00:14:51,412
Andrea used to go out with Adam.
372
00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:52,674
So?
373
00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:54,371
She caught him cheating on her,
374
00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:56,591
and then he cheated
on that girl, too.
375
00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:57,809
So he'’s a player.
376
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,246
Apparently.
377
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:01,248
[sighs heavily]
That'’s a shame.
378
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:02,640
What are you
going to do?
379
00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:04,077
What do you mean,
what is she going to do?
380
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:05,339
She has to tell Bonnie.
381
00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:07,428
No, she doesn'’t.I don'’t?
382
00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:09,169
You don'’t know the whole story.
383
00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:11,258
Maybe your friend Andrea'’s
a lyin'’ whore.
384
00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:12,520
Jill...!
385
00:15:12,607 --> 00:15:13,738
Oh, come on.
She'’s a waitress.
386
00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:16,176
You know how they are.
387
00:15:16,263 --> 00:15:17,873
Hey, I'’ma waitress.
388
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,222
Yeah, and you slept
with your married boss,
389
00:15:19,309 --> 00:15:20,571
a drunk fireman,
390
00:15:20,658 --> 00:15:22,008
your ex-husband'’s future
father-in-law...
391
00:15:22,095 --> 00:15:23,313
Fine! I'’m a whore.
392
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:28,971
But I don'’t think Andrea'’s
lying about Adam.
393
00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:30,712
So the real question is,
394
00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:32,932
if you were my mom,
would you want to know?
395
00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:34,368
Yes.
No.
396
00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:36,283
Oh, that'’s a toughie.
397
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:37,893
Thanks. Very helpful.
398
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:40,156
Well, the real question is
how are you going to feel
399
00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:42,028
if you don'’t tell her
and she gets hurt?
400
00:15:42,115 --> 00:15:43,638
So you'’d tell her?
401
00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:45,074
Of course.
402
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:51,254
[sighs]
403
00:15:55,606 --> 00:16:00,568
Hey, Mom...
404
00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:01,830
I'’m not telling her.
405
00:16:01,917 --> 00:16:02,831
You just said you would.
406
00:16:02,918 --> 00:16:04,398
I said I would
if I were you.
407
00:16:04,485 --> 00:16:05,660
All right, Jill, you'’re up.
408
00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:07,140
Wh... I'’m not telling her
409
00:16:07,227 --> 00:16:08,880
her new boyfriend'’s
a cheatin'’ dog.
410
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,360
Did you get that?
411
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,102
She wants to talk to you.
412
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,194
How'’s the chicken?Mmm.
413
00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:19,630
Delicious.
414
00:16:19,717 --> 00:16:20,892
What are these things?
415
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,720
Caperberries.
416
00:16:22,807 --> 00:16:24,766
Aha. And the sauce?
417
00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:26,202
Lemon butter.
418
00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:27,943
Mmm!
So why'’d you cheat on Andrea?
419
00:16:30,337 --> 00:16:31,251
[quiet cough]
420
00:16:31,338 --> 00:16:32,556
I'’m sorry. What?
421
00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:33,905
You heard me.
422
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,820
Do you know Andrea?
423
00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:37,083
My daughter does.
424
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:38,780
Oh.
Have you been obsessing
425
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:40,129
about this all through dinner?
426
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:41,652
I actually started
on the drive over.
427
00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:43,002
Kind of forgot about it
during the lobster bisque.
428
00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:44,264
Now it'’s back.
429
00:16:44,351 --> 00:16:45,787
I see.
430
00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:47,180
Would you like
some more lobster bisque?
431
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,749
I'’d like to know what
I got myself into here.
432
00:16:51,836 --> 00:16:53,534
All right.
433
00:16:53,621 --> 00:16:55,014
I'’ll tell you.
434
00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:03,848
After I broke my back,
435
00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:05,241
I spent a year in rehab
436
00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:08,679
learning how to live
in this thing.
437
00:17:08,766 --> 00:17:12,727
I couldn'’t work anymore,
at the job that I loved...
438
00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:18,515
and maybe I felt like
I needed to prove to myself
439
00:17:18,602 --> 00:17:21,649
that I was still a man.
440
00:17:21,736 --> 00:17:23,216
By nailing every woman you met.
441
00:17:25,914 --> 00:17:29,744
I also bought
a really big truck.
442
00:17:29,831 --> 00:17:32,007
Red?Maybe.
443
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:38,492
The point is, it'’s over.
444
00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:41,234
I'’m not that guy anymore.
445
00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:44,019
Why should I believe you?
446
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,934
[chuckles wryly]:
Well, I don'’t know, Bonnie.
447
00:17:46,021 --> 00:17:47,762
I guess you'’re just going
to have to trust me.
448
00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:51,766
Hmm. If I had a nickel for every
time a guy said, "Trust me."
449
00:17:51,853 --> 00:17:53,289
Let me prove it.How?
450
00:17:54,725 --> 00:17:55,770
Spend the night...
451
00:17:55,857 --> 00:17:56,988
You owe me a nickel.
452
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,686
No, whoa, whoa, whoa.
453
00:17:58,773 --> 00:17:59,948
Let-let me finish.
454
00:18:00,035 --> 00:18:01,993
I'’m not talking about sex.
455
00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:07,434
Let'’s just spend
the night together.
456
00:18:08,826 --> 00:18:10,611
What would we do?
457
00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:12,569
I don'’t know.
458
00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:14,702
Talk, watch TV,
459
00:18:14,789 --> 00:18:15,920
play a little Boggle.
460
00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:17,400
Maybe that leads to Yahtzee,
461
00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:19,489
but that'’s your call.
462
00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:21,796
And then we just sleep.
463
00:18:21,883 --> 00:18:25,278
I hear married couples
do it all the time.
464
00:18:27,584 --> 00:18:29,673
How do I know you didn'’t offer
this sexless evening
465
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,240
to someone else last night?
466
00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:33,286
Because we went
to the movies last night.
467
00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:35,070
Oh, yeah.
468
00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:39,553
So what do you think?
469
00:18:45,515 --> 00:18:50,129
I think you just sweet-talked
your way into not getting laid.
470
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:53,132
Yeah.
471
00:19:02,619 --> 00:19:04,055
♪
472
00:19:21,682 --> 00:19:23,205
Hey.
Huh? Wha...?
473
00:19:25,860 --> 00:19:27,731
What is it?
474
00:19:27,818 --> 00:19:29,907
Good news.
I trust you.
32011
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