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00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:03,873
Previously onMom...
2
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:05,179
Hi. Bonnie. Alcoholic.OTHERS: Hi, Bonnie.
3
00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:06,310
BONNIE:
...is really onto something.
4
00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:07,616
You new?
5
00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:10,140
Yeah, I guess.
6
00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:11,098
Cool.
7
00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:13,317
We'’re gonna grab coffee
8
00:00:13,404 --> 00:00:14,492
with some girls
from the meeting.
9
00:00:14,579 --> 00:00:15,841
Do you want to
come with us?
10
00:00:15,928 --> 00:00:17,800
So, Jodi, what'’s
your drug of choice?
11
00:00:17,887 --> 00:00:20,324
Yatch, trees, grass.
12
00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:21,673
What are those?
13
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,024
Skis, Buddha, ice.
14
00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:25,764
I'’m sorry, what'’s happening?
15
00:00:25,851 --> 00:00:28,332
Coke, pot, meth.
16
00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:29,159
No alcohol?
17
00:00:29,246 --> 00:00:30,508
Uh, I'’m not 21,
18
00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:32,728
so it'’s harder to get.
19
00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:34,991
Your parents know you'’re
trying to get sober?
20
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:36,514
My parents don'’t know I'’m alive.
21
00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:37,994
Oh, look.
22
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:40,692
Our little meth head
is still asleep.
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00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:42,346
Sweetie, you'’re welcome
to stay with us
24
00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:43,869
until you get on your feet,
25
00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:46,481
but... could you get
on your feet once in a while?
26
00:00:46,568 --> 00:00:47,482
I got a job.
27
00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:49,005
I'’m a barista.
28
00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:51,007
[chattering enthusiastically]
29
00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:53,009
Relax, your sister
wouldn'’t have invited you
30
00:00:53,096 --> 00:00:54,663
to come live with her
if she wasn'’t ready
31
00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:55,881
to give you
a second chance.
32
00:00:55,968 --> 00:00:58,884
Or eighth or
ninth chance.
33
00:00:58,971 --> 00:01:03,324
Listen, I just wanted
to thank you for everything.
34
00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:04,977
It'’s our pleasure.
35
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,067
Occasionally.
36
00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:09,069
I don'’t know where I'’d be
without you guys.
37
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:11,245
I mean, you literally
saved my life.
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00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:14,422
I love you.
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00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:16,380
We love you, too.
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00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:20,210
♪♪
41
00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:21,690
Okay, he is cute.
42
00:01:21,777 --> 00:01:23,692
I do like a man
with a nose ring.
43
00:01:23,779 --> 00:01:25,128
At the end of the day,
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00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:26,738
you can hang him on a hook
with your purse.
45
00:01:26,825 --> 00:01:28,784
He works at a tattoo parlor.
46
00:01:28,871 --> 00:01:30,438
He'’s an apprentice piercer.
47
00:01:30,525 --> 00:01:32,048
Ah, so he'’s a man with a dream.
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00:01:33,963 --> 00:01:36,052
He seems
terrific, Jodi.
49
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:37,358
But?
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00:01:37,445 --> 00:01:39,708
He'’s only been sober
a few weeks,
51
00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:41,449
and you'’ve barely
got six months.
52
00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:43,451
But Travis is totally
committed to the program.
53
00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:45,801
He even got "one day at
a time" tattooed on his neck.
54
00:01:45,888 --> 00:01:48,673
Ooh, he'’s also got a skull
smoking a joint on his chest.
55
00:01:50,371 --> 00:01:51,937
I'’m just saying
it seems a little soon
56
00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,765
for you to be in a relationship.
57
00:01:53,852 --> 00:01:54,810
No, you don'’t get it.
58
00:01:54,897 --> 00:01:56,246
This guy'’s different.
59
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:57,943
How many times have I
said that to you?
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00:01:58,030 --> 00:01:59,858
Well, you'’ve got two kids,
so at least twice.
61
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:03,035
Did you sleep
with young Travis yet?
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00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,776
We hang out.
63
00:02:04,863 --> 00:02:05,821
That'’s a yes.
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00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:07,431
I know what "hang out" means.
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00:02:07,518 --> 00:02:09,390
I thought you guys
would be happy for me.
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00:02:09,477 --> 00:02:11,000
I met a great guy.
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00:02:11,087 --> 00:02:13,263
He'’s sober, he has a job,
he treats me good.
68
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:14,960
It'’s almost like you'’re jealous.
69
00:02:15,047 --> 00:02:17,833
I'’m not jealous,
I'’m just concerned about you.
70
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:18,921
I'’m a little jealous.
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00:02:20,749 --> 00:02:23,665
The thing is, if you want me
to be your sponsor
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00:02:23,752 --> 00:02:25,319
and you'’re not gonna
take my advice,
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00:02:25,406 --> 00:02:27,059
then it kind of
defeats the purpose.
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00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:30,019
Well?
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00:02:30,106 --> 00:02:31,716
Well, can I at least
be friends with him?
76
00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:33,501
I don'’t know. Can you?
77
00:02:33,588 --> 00:02:35,242
Keeping in mind how much guys
like to be "just friends"
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00:02:35,329 --> 00:02:37,287
with hot 19-year-old girls.
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00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:39,507
Yes, I can.
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00:02:39,594 --> 00:02:42,074
Give me your hand.What?
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00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,251
Just give it to me.
82
00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:45,469
What are you doing?
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00:02:45,556 --> 00:02:48,951
Giving you your own
reminder tattoo.
84
00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:52,694
"Just fliends"?
85
00:02:52,781 --> 00:02:53,912
That'’s an "R."
86
00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:54,913
Eh, I see an "L."
87
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,872
That'’s "fliends."
88
00:02:56,959 --> 00:02:59,657
Fine, you have to tell Travis
you want to be "fliends."
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00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:00,963
[chuckles]
Okay.
90
00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:01,964
Whatever.
91
00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:03,313
I got to get
to work.
92
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:04,967
Thanks for
the coffee.
Mm.
93
00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:06,447
That'’s what "fliends" are for.
94
00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:07,926
Bye, Jodi.
95
00:03:09,928 --> 00:03:12,409
You do realize she'’s going
to keep sleeping with him.
96
00:03:12,496 --> 00:03:14,237
Yeah, I know,
97
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:15,978
but I think I took a little
of the fun out of it,
98
00:03:16,065 --> 00:03:17,675
so that'’s something.
99
00:03:17,762 --> 00:03:19,286
You really love
that kid, don'’t you?
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00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:23,072
One of the great things
about being sober
101
00:03:23,159 --> 00:03:25,596
is I have so much more
love to give.
102
00:03:25,683 --> 00:03:29,644
Hmm. I look forward to being
the beneficiary of that.
103
00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:32,342
Oh...
104
00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:33,648
Can we get the check?
105
00:03:36,128 --> 00:03:38,043
♪
106
00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:55,278
Hi, come on in.
107
00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:56,410
Thanks.
108
00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:57,759
Is this an okay time?
109
00:03:57,846 --> 00:03:59,151
Sure. What'’s going on?
110
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,893
I'’m just having
trouble with Jodi,
111
00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:03,286
and I'’m not sure
how hard I should push.
112
00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:04,940
Crusty!
113
00:04:05,027 --> 00:04:06,420
Oh, hey, Victor.
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00:04:06,507 --> 00:04:08,248
Come here, give me hug.
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00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:09,553
Okay.
116
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,775
Oh my, that'’s a lot
of Old Spice.
117
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:16,256
Helps me not
smell the cats.
118
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:17,692
Not that I don'’t
love the cats.
119
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,741
Did you tell her?
Not yet.
120
00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:25,090
Tell me what?
121
00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:29,007
Oh, my God!
122
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,446
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
123
00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,012
[gasps]
Let me see it again.
124
00:04:34,099 --> 00:04:36,014
Victor buried it
in the kitty litter box
125
00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:37,625
so I'’d find it
when I scooped.
126
00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:39,322
What can I say?
127
00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:41,585
I liked it, so I
put a ring on it.
128
00:04:43,195 --> 00:04:44,762
So when'’s the wedding?
129
00:04:44,849 --> 00:04:46,286
Next week.
130
00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:48,157
Next week? Are you pregnant?
131
00:04:48,244 --> 00:04:51,465
We'’d already booked an Alaskan
cruise for the end of the month,
132
00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:53,293
so we decided to make
that our honeymoon.
133
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:54,990
That'’s just great.
134
00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:56,600
I'’m so happy for
the two of you.
135
00:04:56,687 --> 00:04:57,949
MARJORIE:
Well, thank you.
136
00:04:58,036 --> 00:04:59,516
Now, what'’s going on
with Jodi?
137
00:04:59,603 --> 00:05:00,517
You know what,
it'’s fine.
138
00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:02,302
I can handle it.
139
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:03,607
Let'’s talk about throwing
you a bachelorette party.
140
00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:05,000
Oh, that'’s not necessary.
141
00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:06,306
Oh, come on,
it'’ll be fun.
142
00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:07,655
Let me do
this for you.
143
00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:08,656
We'’ll-we'’ll keep
it low-key.
144
00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:09,831
Just me and the girls.
145
00:05:09,918 --> 00:05:11,833
All right. Thank you.
146
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,661
Maybe you can take my sister.
147
00:05:13,748 --> 00:05:16,359
Oh, Victor,
that'’s a great idea.
148
00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:18,143
Ugh.
149
00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:22,322
♪
150
00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:25,368
Well, that'’s a disturbing
piece of pastry.
151
00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:27,022
Yeah, well, you
can'’t really have
152
00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:28,632
a bachelorette
party without one.
153
00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:29,981
Think Marjorie
will like it?
154
00:05:30,068 --> 00:05:32,854
Who doesn'’t like
a red velvet penis?
155
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:35,160
Diabetic lesbians?
156
00:05:35,247 --> 00:05:37,554
Why don'’t you put
that in the kitchen?
157
00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:40,557
And no sneaking a lick.
158
00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:43,473
You know, I can'’t tell you
how happy I am for Marjorie.
159
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,170
Yeah, it just
goes to show
160
00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:46,911
good things do happen
to good people.
161
00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:48,783
Oh, please, you'’re thinking
the same thing I am.
162
00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:50,393
"How the hell is that old
crab cake getting married
163
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,090
before any of us?"
164
00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:55,224
Mom, how could you say
something that awful out loud?
165
00:05:55,311 --> 00:05:57,444
Well, it'’s no fun
if I just think it.
166
00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,750
Isn'’t this good news
for you guys?
167
00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:01,578
I mean, old people
can find love, too.
168
00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:03,580
[knocking on door]
169
00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:05,408
Old people about
to knock her on her ass.
170
00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:08,585
Hey.
171
00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:09,717
Hey!
172
00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:10,892
There'’s the
blushing bride.
173
00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:12,633
Come on in.
174
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,244
Uh, Christy, this is
Victor'’s sister, Anya.
175
00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:18,595
Um...
176
00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:21,903
Anya, this is my good
friend, Christy.
177
00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:24,427
So nice to meet you, Anya.
178
00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,690
Nice to meet you, too.
179
00:06:28,779 --> 00:06:30,215
Hey, everyone,
come meet Anya.
180
00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:31,565
I'’m Jodi.Wendy.
181
00:06:31,652 --> 00:06:32,914
Hi, Jill.
182
00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:34,481
You must be so excited
183
00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:35,612
your big brother'’s
finally getting married.
184
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:38,398
Don'’t I look excited?
185
00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:42,053
Hey, excited, constipated,
what'’s the difference?
186
00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:45,274
♪
187
00:06:45,361 --> 00:06:46,971
CHRISTY:
Okay, okay.
188
00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:50,453
Round two of
"Who Knows Marjorie Best?"
189
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:54,805
35 years ago, when Marjorie was
homeless in Golden Gate Park,
190
00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:59,201
what famous rock star gave her
a dollar and a tab of acid?
191
00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:00,245
Janis Joplin!Santana!
192
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:01,551
Grace Slick!
The Beatles!
193
00:07:02,987 --> 00:07:06,295
The Beatles?
194
00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:08,515
What? They'’re old,
she'’s old.
195
00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:11,474
I'’m sorry,
those are all incorrect.
196
00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:12,823
Marjorie?
197
00:07:12,910 --> 00:07:14,782
Jerry Garcia.
198
00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:15,783
That'’s a real person?
199
00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:17,437
I thought
it was ice cream.
200
00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:22,137
You were homeless?
201
00:07:22,224 --> 00:07:23,486
Just for a few years.
202
00:07:23,573 --> 00:07:25,357
Let'’s move it along.
Next question.
203
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,273
Marjorie'’s nickname
when she was in jail was...?
204
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,274
Killer.Big Marj.
205
00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:30,362
Queen Bitch.
Yoda.
206
00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:33,148
Yoda?
207
00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:34,192
Same thing.
208
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:35,629
He'’s old, she'’s old.
209
00:07:35,716 --> 00:07:36,804
Wrong again.
210
00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:37,979
Marjorie?
211
00:07:38,066 --> 00:07:39,241
The Hammer.
212
00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:40,938
You were in jail?
213
00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:42,113
Briefly.
214
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,986
And you hit people
with a hammer?
215
00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:46,553
Not literally.
216
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,685
Uh, my cellmate got a
little frisky with me,
217
00:07:48,772 --> 00:07:50,513
and I had to clock
her with a Bible.
218
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,341
So why didn'’t they
call you The Bible?
219
00:07:52,428 --> 00:07:54,996
It was already taken.
220
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:57,694
Okay, next question.
221
00:07:57,781 --> 00:08:01,002
At the Rolling Stones
concert at Altamont,
222
00:08:01,089 --> 00:08:02,656
how many Hells Angels did...?
223
00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,832
Okay, let'’s play
a different game.
224
00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:07,661
Ah, man, I knew that one.
225
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:08,705
[mouthing]
226
00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:12,361
Let'’s open gifts.
227
00:08:12,448 --> 00:08:14,668
Great idea.
228
00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:17,366
Does Victor know about
all these things you did?
229
00:08:17,453 --> 00:08:19,673
Of course. We tell
each other everything.
230
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,936
And that all happened
a long time ago.
231
00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:23,328
Really long.
232
00:08:24,678 --> 00:08:27,550
We get it--
you'’re young.
233
00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:30,248
Oh, fun.
234
00:08:30,335 --> 00:08:32,642
Furry handcuffs,
crotch-less underwear
235
00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:34,862
and strawberry lube.
236
00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:40,998
It'’s sugar-free, so Victor
can eat as much as he wants.
237
00:08:42,913 --> 00:08:44,611
Excuse me.
238
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:49,833
[door closes]
239
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,531
Guys, Anya'’s a little
old-fashioned.
240
00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:53,402
Maybe we need
to pull it back a bit.
241
00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:56,536
So we'’re not gonna play
"pin the hose on the fireman"?
242
00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:58,625
I think not.
243
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,583
Darn.
244
00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:03,891
You know, um, as much
fun as this is,
245
00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:05,893
I actually have to go.
246
00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:08,025
Uh, Marjorie,
congratulations.
247
00:09:08,112 --> 00:09:09,026
I'’ll see you
at the wedding.
248
00:09:09,113 --> 00:09:10,332
Okay.
Bye.
249
00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:11,725
Thanks, sweetie.
250
00:09:11,812 --> 00:09:12,813
You'’re leaving already?
251
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,075
We'’re just getting started.
252
00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:15,511
Yeah, I got a thing.
253
00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:18,209
Would the thing'’s name
be Travis perchance?
254
00:09:18,296 --> 00:09:20,037
His last name
is Sullivan.
255
00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:25,303
Jodi, isn'’t it a little soon
for you to start dating?
256
00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:27,218
Thank you. That'’s what
I'’ve been telling her,
257
00:09:27,305 --> 00:09:28,524
and she won'’t listen.
258
00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:29,917
Did you tell her
how you ignored
259
00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:31,222
my dating advice
when you were new?
260
00:09:33,398 --> 00:09:34,791
No, Marjorie.
261
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:37,315
I thought that might
undermine my purpose.
262
00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:41,798
Jodi, the guy
just kicked heroin.
263
00:09:41,885 --> 00:09:43,104
Yeah, he kicked it.
264
00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:44,279
He'’s been clean
for six weeks.
265
00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:45,759
Marjorie, tell her.
266
00:09:45,846 --> 00:09:47,282
Tell her what?
That I wasn'’t capable
267
00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:50,285
of having a real relationship
with anyone
268
00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:53,114
until almost two years
after I kicked heroin.
269
00:09:58,032 --> 00:09:59,599
How much did she hear?
270
00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:01,209
Just the part about the heroin.
271
00:10:03,472 --> 00:10:04,604
Can I go now?
272
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:05,909
No one'’s stopping you.
273
00:10:05,996 --> 00:10:07,302
Just be smart, okay?
274
00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:08,608
I will.
275
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:09,913
[quietly]:
Bye.
276
00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:13,264
Anya, how you doing in there?
277
00:10:13,351 --> 00:10:16,093
Go away,
junkie whore!
278
00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:21,272
Well, she'’s not coming out
anytime soon.
279
00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:23,274
Let'’s go dig into that penis.
280
00:10:27,539 --> 00:10:29,454
Let'’s go, Mom!
281
00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:31,326
I can'’t find
my new earrings!
282
00:10:31,413 --> 00:10:32,980
That'’s '’cause I'’m wearing them!
283
00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:35,373
Come on, we'’ve got
a bride to marry off.
284
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:37,332
Who told you you could
borrow my earrings?
285
00:10:37,419 --> 00:10:39,464
Well, I can'’t borrow
your shoes, now can I?
286
00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:40,683
Let'’s go.
287
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:43,294
[cell phone ringing]Oh.
288
00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:46,210
We'’re on our way,
Marjorie.
289
00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:48,691
Oh, for God'’s sake.What?
290
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,954
Anya'’s refusing
to go to the wedding.
291
00:10:51,041 --> 00:10:52,695
Why?
Why?
292
00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:54,566
She doesn'’t approve of Marjorie.
293
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,700
So? I don'’t approve
of her and I'’m going.
294
00:10:57,787 --> 00:10:59,354
Give me.
295
00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:01,225
Marjorie, screw her.
296
00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:02,400
This is your day.
297
00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:04,620
Don'’t let that old hag ruin it.
298
00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:06,361
Who cares if Victor'’s depressed?
299
00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:08,755
It isn'’t his day, either.
300
00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:11,845
This is about you.
301
00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:13,934
She'’s crying.
I'’m out.
302
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:19,113
Marjorie, where'’s
that Armenian buzzkill now?
303
00:11:21,593 --> 00:11:23,117
Okay, you just relax.
304
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:24,335
We'’ll take care of everything.
305
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,861
Never mind how we get her there.
306
00:11:27,948 --> 00:11:29,340
It'’s probably better
you don'’t know.
307
00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:31,429
How do you want
to play this?
308
00:11:31,516 --> 00:11:33,693
The usual-- good cop, bad cop.
309
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,999
Oh, come on!
Why can'’t you be the bad cop?
310
00:11:36,086 --> 00:11:37,131
We'’ve been through this.
311
00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:39,655
I'’m too adorable!
312
00:11:49,621 --> 00:11:51,058
This is a cheerful
little cottage.
313
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:53,408
Does she live here or
did it fall on her?
314
00:11:55,192 --> 00:11:58,108
[cell phone ringing]
315
00:11:58,195 --> 00:11:59,675
Oh, damn!
316
00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:02,460
Jodi, kind of got
my hand full right now.
317
00:12:02,547 --> 00:12:04,419
ANYA:
Who is it?
318
00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:06,900
Hey, Anya,
it'’s, uh, Christy and Bonnie.
319
00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:08,640
Remember from the party?
320
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:09,903
I-I can'’t talk right now.
321
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:11,426
I'’ll see you at the wedding.
322
00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:13,123
Honey, I got to run.
323
00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:15,125
Go away!
324
00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:17,824
You'’re up.
325
00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:20,478
Anya, I-I know
this is a tough time,
326
00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:23,307
but we just need
five minutes, please?
327
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:24,613
What happened to bad cop?
328
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:25,745
Hang on.
329
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:27,834
I told you...
Ooh! Ow! Ow!
330
00:12:27,921 --> 00:12:30,097
Open the big door or I pull you
through the little door!
331
00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:31,925
Oh! Oh!
332
00:12:32,012 --> 00:12:33,143
Why do I ever doubt you?
333
00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:34,579
Ow! Ow! Ow!
334
00:12:34,666 --> 00:12:36,930
Five minutes,
then you go.
335
00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:37,974
[clears her throat]
336
00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:40,063
Thanks.
337
00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:42,152
You have a lovely home.
338
00:12:42,239 --> 00:12:45,112
Yes, very Rosemary'’s Baby.
339
00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:48,811
Go ahead, talk.
340
00:12:48,898 --> 00:12:51,205
Anya, you must know
341
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:53,294
that your brother and Marjorie
are just devastated
342
00:12:53,381 --> 00:12:55,252
that you'’re not coming
to the wedding.
343
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:56,427
Good.
344
00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:58,255
Yeah, good.
345
00:12:58,342 --> 00:13:00,997
But they'’re still
gonna get married
346
00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:05,480
and I think you need to ask
yourself 20 years from now,
347
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,134
do you want to look
back at this moment
348
00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:08,744
and be filled with regret
349
00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:11,529
that you refused to
share in their happiness?
350
00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:15,229
20 years from now,
I expect to be dead.
351
00:13:17,274 --> 00:13:19,189
Okay, ten years.
352
00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:20,800
Still dead.
353
00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:23,541
You want to jump in here?
354
00:13:23,628 --> 00:13:25,500
No, you'’re doing great.
355
00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:28,808
I think we may
have given you
356
00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:31,114
the wrong impression
about Marjorie
357
00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:32,681
at the bachelorette party.
358
00:13:32,768 --> 00:13:34,596
What, that she
is a horrible person?
359
00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:36,728
That she is no good
for my brother?
360
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,339
Well, that may
have been true
361
00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:41,559
many years ago,
362
00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:45,433
but now she'’s a kind
and loving person,
363
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,565
who helps a lot of people.
364
00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:50,742
No, people like her
don'’t change.
365
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,701
That'’s not true.
We'’ve changed.
366
00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:54,181
I mean, I'’ve changed.
367
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:57,227
She'’s working on it.
368
00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:58,794
That'’s nice.
369
00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:01,101
But I'’m not crazy
about you two, either.
370
00:14:03,364 --> 00:14:04,844
Is it your turn yet?
371
00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:07,150
Fine.
372
00:14:07,237 --> 00:14:08,717
You like brandy?
373
00:14:08,804 --> 00:14:09,370
Yes.
374
00:14:09,457 --> 00:14:10,501
Prove it.
375
00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:17,987
Oh, let'’s get
this party started!
376
00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:20,772
Anya, you came!
377
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,079
Oh, Victor, my brother!
378
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:24,776
Oh, is she drunk?
379
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,126
I hope so.
380
00:14:26,213 --> 00:14:28,389
She flashed her boobs
at a school bus.
381
00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:31,435
I'’m sorry
if I upset you, Victor.
382
00:14:31,522 --> 00:14:34,612
I-I was just afraid
of losing you.
383
00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:37,659
Oh, little one,
you could never lose me.
384
00:14:37,746 --> 00:14:40,575
You'’ll come and live
with me and Marjorie.
385
00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:43,578
Oh, God,
what have we done?
386
00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:48,931
Be blessed by
the Holy Spirit.
387
00:14:49,018 --> 00:14:50,411
We part in peace.
388
00:14:50,498 --> 00:14:52,326
And may the Lord be with you.
389
00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:53,240
I kiss now?
390
00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:55,677
You kiss now.
391
00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:02,902
[whooping]
392
00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:12,563
ANYA:
Wait! Wait! Wait!
393
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:14,609
I'’m coming
to live with you!
394
00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:16,611
What'’s this now?
395
00:15:20,832 --> 00:15:22,922
Well, she did it.
396
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:24,532
She'’s a married woman.
397
00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:27,143
One down, four to go.
398
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:28,840
I'’ll bet you'’re next.
399
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,277
Why not you?
400
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:32,540
Oh, no, I'’m done with marriage.
401
00:15:32,627 --> 00:15:35,151
Oh, come on,
you'’ll find love again.
402
00:15:35,238 --> 00:15:36,761
Oh, of course
I'’ll find love.
403
00:15:36,848 --> 00:15:39,503
Just don'’t want
to give up my alimony.
404
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:40,896
Good for you.
405
00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:43,203
Suck '’em dry.
406
00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:45,945
[phone buzzing]
407
00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:48,556
Oh, this ought to be good.
408
00:15:48,643 --> 00:15:50,558
Hey, Jodi, where are you?
409
00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:53,996
You missed the ceremony.
410
00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:55,824
Yeah, this is Christy Plunkett.
411
00:15:55,911 --> 00:15:57,130
Who'’s this?
412
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,438
I don'’t understand.
413
00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:02,657
Where'’s Jodi?
414
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:08,793
No, that can'’t be.
415
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,317
What'’s going on?
416
00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:12,710
But she'’s supposed
to be here with us.
417
00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:14,147
Christy, what'’s happening?
418
00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:18,020
Jodi overdosed.
419
00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:20,153
Is she gonna be okay?
420
00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:23,504
She'’s gone.
421
00:16:23,591 --> 00:16:24,374
[gasps]
422
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:26,333
No...
423
00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:31,686
Yes, Officer,
I'’m still here.
424
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:42,653
[crying]:
I can'’t believe it.
425
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:46,005
She was fine
at the party.
426
00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:48,311
How did this happen?
427
00:16:48,398 --> 00:16:50,357
All I know is they
428
00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:52,707
[sniffles]
found her
429
00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:56,580
in the bathroom
at her apartment.
430
00:16:58,626 --> 00:17:00,367
Apparently, her boyfriend
431
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:01,846
called 911 and took off.
432
00:17:01,933 --> 00:17:04,240
[sniffling]
433
00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:11,073
How are we gonna
tell Marjorie?
434
00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:15,904
We'’re not.
435
00:17:15,991 --> 00:17:17,862
What do you
mean we'’re not?
436
00:17:24,173 --> 00:17:26,088
Here'’s how this is gonna go.
437
00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:29,483
We'’re all going
to the reception
438
00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:32,399
and we'’re gonna pretend
to have a good time.
439
00:17:32,486 --> 00:17:34,488
and we'’re gonna get
Marjorie off on her honeymoon
440
00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:36,446
without her knowing anything.
441
00:17:38,361 --> 00:17:39,797
Doesn'’t Marjorie deserve...?
442
00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:41,756
No!
443
00:17:41,843 --> 00:17:44,715
Marjorie deserves to be happy.
444
00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:48,458
We'’ll tell her after
she gets back from the cruise.
445
00:17:48,545 --> 00:17:51,983
Christy, I don'’t, I-I don'’t
think I can hold it together.
446
00:17:53,898 --> 00:17:55,378
Yeah, well, you will.
447
00:17:57,511 --> 00:17:59,252
All of us will.
448
00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:01,036
[door opens]
449
00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:02,559
What are you doing in here?
450
00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:03,604
Come outside.
451
00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:05,127
We'’re taking pictures.
452
00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:06,911
We'’re coming.
453
00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:09,784
What'’s the crying about?
454
00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:12,047
We'’re just so happy for you!
455
00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:13,701
[laughs]
456
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,572
Thank you, girls.
457
00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:17,792
Where'’s Jodi?
458
00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,446
She couldn'’t make it.
459
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:21,143
Ah, that'’s a shame.
460
00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:24,538
When you talk to her,
give her my love.
31010
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