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1
00:00:02,915 --> 00:00:04,743
Okay, my turn.
Mm.
2
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:06,658
1985.
3
00:00:06,745 --> 00:00:10,923
Oh, wow, let'’s see,
bankruptcy, divorce,
4
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,013
massive amounts of cocaine.
5
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:16,016
Mm.You?
6
00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:19,671
Um, My Little Pony,
training wheels
7
00:00:19,758 --> 00:00:22,805
and massive amounts
of Cap'’n Crunch.
8
00:00:24,285 --> 00:00:25,416
I love this game.
9
00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:26,635
Really?
10
00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:28,332
I hate it.
11
00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:30,030
Too bad. Your turn.
12
00:00:30,117 --> 00:00:33,642
Okay, '’96.
13
00:00:35,296 --> 00:00:36,906
Oh, yeah, I don'’t want
to play anymore.
14
00:00:36,993 --> 00:00:39,952
No, no, no, no, let'’s hear it.
15
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,519
Okay.
16
00:00:41,606 --> 00:00:46,481
Might end this dinner
real quick, but 1996.
17
00:00:47,917 --> 00:00:50,354
Stripper, alcoholic,
18
00:00:50,441 --> 00:00:53,140
and got evicted from a tent.
19
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,491
I knew there was something
about you I liked.
20
00:00:56,578 --> 00:00:58,188
Oh, that'’s what did it?
21
00:00:58,275 --> 00:01:01,235
Mm, I like that you went
from that to this.
22
00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:02,758
Really?
23
00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:05,021
Christy,
you'’re an amazing woman.
24
00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:06,892
Thank you.
25
00:01:06,979 --> 00:01:09,025
I think you'’re an amazing man.
26
00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:10,592
Thank you.
27
00:01:10,679 --> 00:01:13,334
Another Cabernet and iced tea?
28
00:01:13,421 --> 00:01:14,813
Oh, I'’m-I'’m fine.
29
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,641
We'’re good.
30
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:22,169
I'’m pretty sure he thinks
I'’m your daughter.
31
00:01:24,301 --> 00:01:25,346
Let'’s find out.
32
00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:28,871
[dishes crashing]
33
00:01:32,614 --> 00:01:33,789
Yup.
34
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:38,010
♪
35
00:01:53,069 --> 00:01:55,376
[TV playing]
36
00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:56,986
The gator'’s right there.
37
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:59,467
Get him! Get him!
38
00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,947
[gunshot]Yes!
39
00:02:02,034 --> 00:02:04,080
Now you'’re a pair of shoes
and 300 belts,
40
00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:05,864
you mean son of a bitch.
41
00:02:06,996 --> 00:02:09,172
Hey... Ooh!
42
00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:13,524
How you doin'’ there, Colonel?
43
00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:15,309
What?
44
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:18,094
Oh, I didn'’t think
you were coming back.
45
00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:19,704
So this is your big night, huh?
46
00:02:19,791 --> 00:02:21,402
Bleaching your mustache,
eating a tub of chicken
47
00:02:21,489 --> 00:02:22,490
and watching Swamp People.
48
00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:26,407
I'’m a simple woman
with simple needs.
49
00:02:26,494 --> 00:02:27,843
What are you doing here?
50
00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:28,800
Why aren'’t you banging
the old guy?
51
00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:31,847
It'’s called being a lady.
52
00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:33,762
[blows raspberries]
53
00:02:33,849 --> 00:02:35,677
It was your third date.
54
00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:37,505
You need to close the deal while
he'’s still competent enough
55
00:02:37,592 --> 00:02:39,594
to write his family
out of the will.
56
00:02:39,681 --> 00:02:40,899
That'’s awful.
57
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:43,119
No, no, chicken'’s for closers.
58
00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:44,381
Stop it!
59
00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:45,948
Didn'’t you just have dinner?
60
00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:47,384
[sighs]
Oh, it was date-eating.
61
00:02:47,471 --> 00:02:48,603
I'’m starving.
62
00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:50,474
You know what that tells me.
63
00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:52,215
That tells me
old Freddy'’s doable.
64
00:02:53,347 --> 00:02:55,218
He'’s completely doable.
65
00:02:55,305 --> 00:02:56,698
It'’s just a weird situation.
66
00:02:56,785 --> 00:02:58,308
Why? '’Cause he'’s the father
of the woman
67
00:02:58,395 --> 00:02:59,788
who'’s about to marry
your ex-husband?
68
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:02,269
They do that every week
on Swamp People.
69
00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:04,096
I was trying to
rise above that.
70
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,011
The man owns
five car dealerships.
71
00:03:06,098 --> 00:03:08,100
Cut the lady crap
and consummate.
72
00:03:10,146 --> 00:03:13,497
You know, most mothers would say
wait till you fall in love.
73
00:03:13,584 --> 00:03:16,413
Oh, please,
most mothers are chumps.
74
00:03:18,589 --> 00:03:21,853
♪
75
00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:23,594
[knocking on door]
76
00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:25,553
Oh...
77
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,555
this can'’t be good.
78
00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:30,993
Who'’s there?
79
00:03:32,124 --> 00:03:33,691
It'’s Candace.
80
00:03:34,953 --> 00:03:36,216
Go for the knees.
81
00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:43,397
I hate you.
82
00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:46,878
What are you doing here?
83
00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:48,793
It'’s 2:00 in the morning.
84
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,492
[slurring]:
What are you doing...
85
00:03:51,579 --> 00:03:53,581
with my daddy?
86
00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:57,802
Please tell me you didn'’t
drive here like this.
87
00:03:57,889 --> 00:03:59,282
Ugh, I Ubered.
88
00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:01,806
Wait a minute, I gotta
give him a rating.
89
00:04:05,419 --> 00:04:07,595
Five stars.
90
00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:09,161
You get no stars.
91
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,513
Come inside.
92
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,254
No stars!
93
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:16,038
Sit down.
94
00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:17,866
You want to make
her some coffee?
95
00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:19,737
You want to keep her awake?
96
00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:21,261
I think we should hit her
over the head with the bat.
97
00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:25,439
Candace, listen to me.
98
00:04:25,526 --> 00:04:28,833
I'’m not dating your father
to hurt you.
99
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,661
I really like him.
100
00:04:30,748 --> 00:04:33,447
[chuckles] You think you'’re
so special, don'’t you?
101
00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:35,144
But you don'’t know.
102
00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:38,669
He goes through women
just like...
103
00:04:38,756 --> 00:04:41,237
like...
104
00:04:41,324 --> 00:04:42,804
Kleenex?
105
00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:43,979
No.
106
00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:44,980
Underwear?
107
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:45,981
No.
108
00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:46,982
Potato chips?
109
00:04:47,069 --> 00:04:48,984
No!
110
00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:50,855
[snaps fingers] Kleenex!
111
00:04:50,942 --> 00:04:53,249
I said Kleenex!
112
00:04:53,336 --> 00:04:56,296
You'’re gonna go out with him
for a couple weeks.
113
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,863
Get some fancy dinners,
have some presents,
114
00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:02,127
and then he'’s just gonna be
on to the next girl.
115
00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:05,957
So, why are you so upset
about this?
116
00:05:06,044 --> 00:05:08,220
'’Cause it'’s you.
117
00:05:10,005 --> 00:05:12,921
It'’s just, like,
you'’re getting all the attention
118
00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:15,358
from him that I never got.
119
00:05:16,881 --> 00:05:20,189
Candace, you are worrying
for nothing.
120
00:05:20,276 --> 00:05:21,451
Really?
121
00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:23,671
Yeah.
122
00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:27,196
I promise you I'’ll make sure
your daddy showers you
123
00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:29,372
with love and attention
124
00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:31,592
right after I become
your new mommy.
125
00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:33,550
[crying]
126
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,517
I didn'’t need a bat.
127
00:05:43,604 --> 00:05:45,040
♪
128
00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:46,346
[knocking on door]
129
00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:50,611
Relax.
130
00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:52,090
I got it.
131
00:05:54,702 --> 00:05:56,094
Where is she?
132
00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:57,748
Your princess awaits.
133
00:06:00,055 --> 00:06:02,144
Thanks for letting her
sleep it off.
134
00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:04,320
I didn'’t let her do anything.
135
00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:07,323
She called me a whore,
threw up and passed out.
136
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:10,631
Sorry, she'’s just real upset
about you and her dad.
137
00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:14,156
Yeah, I got that
from the whore thing.
138
00:06:14,243 --> 00:06:17,202
Hey, Baxter, welcome to the rest
of your life.
139
00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:22,164
Christy,
140
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:24,601
I'’m gonna take one
last shot at this.
141
00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:25,950
Please stop seeing Fred.
142
00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:27,822
No.
143
00:06:27,909 --> 00:06:30,955
I like him, and I really think
this could be something.
144
00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:32,914
Oh, man, you slept
with him already.
145
00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:35,525
No!
146
00:06:35,612 --> 00:06:38,136
I mean, uh,
none of your business.
147
00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:39,964
But no.
148
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:41,313
You buying this?
149
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:44,012
Sadly, yes.
150
00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:47,581
Turns out without vodka
and cocaine, she'’s a Mormon.
151
00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:51,323
Well, I'’m glad we
met when we did.
152
00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,979
Baxter.
153
00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:01,029
What did you do to her?
154
00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:03,335
Hey, Bonnie wanted
to shave off her eyebrows.
155
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:09,690
♪
156
00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:11,822
What an incredible view.
157
00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:13,258
I agree.
158
00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:18,046
Okay, I gotta tell
you, that works.
159
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,743
It shouldn'’t.
160
00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:21,702
It'’s really corny,
but it totally works.
161
00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:23,486
How about this?
162
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:34,192
That works, too.
163
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:37,239
Um, can you excuse
me for a minute?
164
00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:38,893
I need to go freshen up.
165
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:40,372
Right down the hall.
166
00:07:41,635 --> 00:07:43,463
I'’ll be right back.
167
00:07:47,858 --> 00:07:49,730
Hey, Fred?
Yeah?
168
00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:51,949
I'’m really not going
to the bathroom.
169
00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:53,821
I'’m gonna call my sponsor in AA
170
00:07:53,908 --> 00:07:56,084
and ask her if I should
sleep with you.
171
00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:59,217
I'’d be happy to supply
a list of references.
172
00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:01,785
That'’s okay.
173
00:08:01,872 --> 00:08:03,352
Fingers crossed.
174
00:08:18,019 --> 00:08:19,411
Marjorie?
175
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,717
It'’s-it'’s me, Christy.
176
00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:23,067
Oh, hey, Christy.
What'’s going on?
177
00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:25,809
I need some advice.
178
00:08:25,896 --> 00:08:27,724
Please do not tell my mother
I called you.
179
00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:29,900
I will not.
180
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,296
What'’s up?
181
00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:36,994
I'’m on a date with Fred,
and I think this is the night
182
00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:38,996
where we, you know...
183
00:08:39,083 --> 00:08:41,956
I get it, you'’re calling me
from the bathroom.
184
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:44,088
Tell her to close the deal.
185
00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:45,133
[shushing]
186
00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:46,613
I'’m just not sure
187
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,310
if I'’m doing it
for the right reason.
188
00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:50,965
I mean, part of me wants
to punish Candace,
189
00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:53,271
but another part of me
really likes this guy.
190
00:08:53,358 --> 00:08:55,317
Well, what works for me
when I'’m in doubt
191
00:08:55,404 --> 00:08:56,536
is to just do nothing...
192
00:08:57,885 --> 00:08:59,190
...until I'’m absolutely sure.
193
00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:01,584
I swear, I will kill you,
old woman.
194
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,067
I'’m so glad I called you.
195
00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:08,504
You always get me
right back on track.
196
00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:09,636
You'’re welcome, sweetie.
197
00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:11,072
Let'’s talk tomorrow.
198
00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:13,683
Do you not see
the big picture here?
199
00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:16,338
What,that you'’re pimping out
your daughter?
200
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:18,775
Ah, so you do see it.
201
00:09:21,386 --> 00:09:23,563
Okay,
202
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:26,000
not tonight.
203
00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:28,480
Definitely not tonight.
204
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:29,656
♪
205
00:09:29,743 --> 00:09:31,483
[heavy breathing]
206
00:09:33,485 --> 00:09:37,315
Is it appropriate for me to send
your sponsor a gift basket?
207
00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:38,795
That'’s nice.
208
00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:39,970
She'’d like that.
209
00:09:40,057 --> 00:09:41,929
♪
210
00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:50,764
I know I usually sit here
and complain about my life.
211
00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:52,809
[murmuring agreement]
212
00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:54,637
Not today.
213
00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:56,770
Today my life couldn'’t
be better.
214
00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:58,119
[whispering]:
What'’s going on?
215
00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:00,643
She got laid.
216
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:03,211
I met the most wonderful guy.
217
00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:05,692
A normal guy, a gentleman.
218
00:10:05,779 --> 00:10:07,215
Good looking.
219
00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:08,216
Got a great job.
220
00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:09,609
Mature.
221
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:11,872
[whispering]:
That means old.
222
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:14,091
Yeah, we'’ve got a couple
of issues to work out,
223
00:10:14,178 --> 00:10:16,833
but the truth is
those are other people'’s issues
224
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:20,184
and I just have to be careful
to not make them my own.
225
00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:22,709
In the meantime,
226
00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:24,624
I'’m trying to live
in the moment,
227
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,234
not get ahead of myself,
228
00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:29,150
keep coming to meetings,
check in with my sponsor...
229
00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:30,847
Did you get Fred'’s
muffin basket?
230
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:32,022
And the marmalade.
231
00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:33,981
Tell him I said thanks.
232
00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:35,722
Anyway,
233
00:10:35,809 --> 00:10:38,550
more will be revealed,
and we'’ll see what happens.
234
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:39,639
Thanks.
235
00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:42,380
Hi, I'’m Bonnie.
I'’m an alcoholic.
236
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:44,034
OTHERS:
Hi, Bonnie.
237
00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:45,340
I'’ll tell you
what'’s gonna happen.
238
00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:46,515
I'’m gonna ride this pony
239
00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:48,996
right into
the winner'’s circle.
240
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:50,954
♪
241
00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:55,045
Isn'’t this nice?
242
00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:57,178
All of us spending a beautiful
Sunday afternoon together?
243
00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:59,659
Like a big ol'’ happy family.Mm-hmm.
244
00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:05,708
Are you feeling okay there,
Candace?
245
00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:07,405
I feel fine.
246
00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:09,320
You should tell your face.
247
00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:13,498
I'’m gonna go check on
Roscoe'’s tennis lesson.
248
00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:14,978
Don'’t you move.
249
00:11:16,284 --> 00:11:17,589
So, Fred, Christy tells me
250
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,679
you'’ve been married twice
before.
251
00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:21,376
That is true.
252
00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:22,377
So, you'’re probably bitter
and disenchanted
253
00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:23,857
with the whole idea.
254
00:11:23,944 --> 00:11:24,988
No, no, not at all.
255
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:26,076
You know,
256
00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:27,556
if at first you don'’t succeed...
257
00:11:27,643 --> 00:11:28,688
Try, try again.
258
00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:29,689
Sure.
Mm-hmm.
259
00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:31,516
Stop kicking me.
260
00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:35,390
I'’d like to propose a toast
261
00:11:35,477 --> 00:11:36,565
to the best girl I know.
262
00:11:36,652 --> 00:11:38,567
FRED:
Christy,
263
00:11:38,654 --> 00:11:40,612
you'’re the most remarkable woman
I have ever met.
264
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,050
You came into this world with
nothing and still managed
265
00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:45,095
to turn your life around.
266
00:11:46,618 --> 00:11:48,055
Well, I-I wouldn'’t
say nothing.
267
00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:49,056
I was there.
268
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:50,579
It was less than nothing.
269
00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:53,190
She'’s an American hero.
270
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:54,670
To Christy.
271
00:11:54,757 --> 00:11:55,932
Hear, hear.
272
00:11:57,847 --> 00:11:59,675
Hey...
273
00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:03,548
I'’d like to propose a toast
to another great lady.
274
00:12:04,636 --> 00:12:05,725
Candace,
275
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,727
you are no slouch.
276
00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:11,339
That'’s it?
277
00:12:11,426 --> 00:12:13,210
Let me finish.
278
00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:16,257
Uh...
279
00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:19,651
you are also a real go-getter.
280
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,610
Yeah, go get her daddy'’s
credit card.
281
00:12:21,697 --> 00:12:23,786
[laughing]
282
00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:25,266
Daddy!
283
00:12:25,353 --> 00:12:28,182
Mm... lighten up, snickerdoodle.
284
00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:29,792
I call her that
because when she was a kid,
285
00:12:29,879 --> 00:12:31,054
the only way
I could get her to smile
286
00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:32,534
was to give her a cookie.
287
00:12:32,621 --> 00:12:35,624
[laughter]
288
00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:40,585
Well, there it is,
289
00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:42,762
that same stink eye
her mother always gave me.
290
00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:46,330
[nervous laugh]
291
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:47,288
Anybody got a cookie?
292
00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:48,332
[Bonnie laughs]
293
00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:50,770
"Anybody got a cookie?"
294
00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:53,773
[Bonnie laughing]
295
00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:56,340
Yeah, well,
at least Bonnie gets it.
296
00:12:56,427 --> 00:12:58,342
Bonnie totally gets it, Fred.
297
00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:01,998
Why don'’t we change the subject?
298
00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:04,087
All right, anything you want,
sweetheart.
299
00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:10,180
Do you want a cookie, '’cause
there'’s a whole tray over...
300
00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:16,230
♪
301
00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:21,888
You know what I like best
about country club life?
302
00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:24,020
Signing for things.
303
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:27,371
Those people are so rich
they don'’t use money anymore.
304
00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:29,286
I'’m glad you had a good time.
305
00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:30,853
I'’m starting to feel like
I belong there.
306
00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:32,681
Like after a horrible mix-up
at the hospital,
307
00:13:32,768 --> 00:13:36,250
I was finally returned
to my real people.
308
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,341
Is that a crab leg?
309
00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:41,821
Yeah, don'’t worry,
I signed for it.
310
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,910
I know what you liked best.
311
00:13:43,997 --> 00:13:47,348
When Freddy gave his daughter a
colonoscopy right at the table.
312
00:13:47,435 --> 00:13:50,046
He was rough on her, wasn'’t he?
313
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:51,700
Rough?
314
00:13:51,787 --> 00:13:54,007
That was a dry scope minus
the Demerol drip.
315
00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:55,922
I actually felt
kind of bad for her.
316
00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:57,445
For Candace?
317
00:13:57,532 --> 00:13:58,576
The woman has never missed
an opportunity
318
00:13:58,663 --> 00:14:00,056
to make you feel like garbage.
319
00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:02,102
I know, I just...
320
00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:04,669
I don'’t like to see a father
talk to his daughter like that.
321
00:14:04,756 --> 00:14:07,237
Really? I loved it!
322
00:14:08,804 --> 00:14:10,371
He took the stick out of her ass
323
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:13,026
and smacked her right
over the head with it.
324
00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:17,726
Did you ever consider
that maybe she'’s the way she is
325
00:14:17,813 --> 00:14:19,336
because of how he treats her?
326
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,252
Wait.
327
00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:24,602
What'’s happening here?
328
00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:26,126
You'’re screwing with me, right?
329
00:14:26,213 --> 00:14:27,823
I'’m just not sure
I can be with someone
330
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:29,607
who has so little regard
for his own children.
331
00:14:29,694 --> 00:14:31,000
What'’s wrong with you?
332
00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:32,567
This guy is crazy about you
333
00:14:32,654 --> 00:14:33,742
and doesn'’t like
his own daughter.
334
00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:35,222
Yeah, so?
335
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:36,963
So, you give him a kid
336
00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:38,442
he'’s even vaguely fond of,
the days of paying off
337
00:14:38,529 --> 00:14:40,836
our credit cards with
credit cards is over.
338
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:46,581
Mom, my uterus
is not your 401k.
339
00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:49,627
It could be if Fred
makes a deposit.
340
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:53,327
♪
341
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:00,769
Should we take this
into the bedroom?
342
00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:03,903
Um, yeah.
343
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:06,557
But we-we need to talk
about something first.
344
00:15:06,644 --> 00:15:08,777
Oh, you don'’t have
to be married twice
345
00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:11,301
to know that'’s
never good news.
346
00:15:11,388 --> 00:15:15,218
It'’s not bad, it'’s just,
it'’s about your daughter.
347
00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:16,567
What about her?
348
00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:18,613
I think
349
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:20,963
you hurt her feelings
the other day.
350
00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:22,051
When?
351
00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:23,574
At brunch.
352
00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:25,359
At the country club.
353
00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:27,491
You were really
mean to her.
354
00:15:27,578 --> 00:15:28,710
Oh, that'’s
just how we are.
355
00:15:28,797 --> 00:15:29,929
She'’s fine.
356
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:33,106
No, Fred, she'’s not.
357
00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:34,411
What? I don'’t understand.
358
00:15:34,498 --> 00:15:35,499
I thought you
didn'’t like her.
359
00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:37,980
I don'’t...
360
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:40,069
but you should.
361
00:15:40,156 --> 00:15:42,550
Well, of course,
I like her.
362
00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:44,160
I love her.
363
00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:45,596
I mean, my God,
I'’ve given her everything
364
00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:46,946
she'’s ever asked for:
365
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:48,817
horses, ski trips,
366
00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:51,515
tennis lessons,
a semester abroad,
367
00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:53,430
which should really
just be called
368
00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:55,258
"How to Get Laid in Italy."
369
00:15:56,303 --> 00:15:57,434
And after all that,
370
00:15:57,521 --> 00:15:59,610
all she does is
walk through life
371
00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:01,264
turning up her nose
at other people.
372
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:05,181
A nose I paid for,
by the way.
373
00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:08,706
Yeah, but still...
374
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:11,840
Christy, she'’s my kid.
375
00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:13,798
The way I treat her...
376
00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:15,539
it'’s none of your business.
377
00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:18,934
I-I was just trying to
378
00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:21,719
help you get along
with your daughter.
379
00:16:21,806 --> 00:16:23,678
Yeah, well, thanks, but...
380
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,114
I don'’t think you'’re
in any position
381
00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:27,421
to be giving me
parenting advice.
382
00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:30,467
Okay.
383
00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:38,780
You know what,
384
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:41,043
I think I'’m just
gonna call it a night.
385
00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:43,132
Really?
386
00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:46,309
Do I have to give you
a cookie now?
387
00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:52,185
You know something, Fred,
388
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:55,014
you may be handsome,
389
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:57,407
charming, and successful...
390
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,803
...but you'’re also
kind of a dick.
391
00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:04,762
A dick?
392
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:07,939
I'’d say it in Italian but
393
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,811
I never had a semester abroad.
394
00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:14,555
♪
395
00:17:14,642 --> 00:17:17,079
Well, I am back
to complaining.
396
00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:19,342
Told ya.
397
00:17:21,475 --> 00:17:25,566
As a result of being sober,
I have somehow become
398
00:17:25,653 --> 00:17:30,049
compassionate and caring
towards other people.
399
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:34,270
And, quite frankly,
it'’s ruining my life.
400
00:17:34,357 --> 00:17:36,229
[crying]
401
00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:46,369
You know, back when I was
drinking and drugging,
402
00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:48,980
I could put up with
a lot of crap from guys
403
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,592
because I was just
as bad as they were.
404
00:17:51,679 --> 00:17:54,899
But now I have zero tolerance
for jerks.
405
00:17:56,771 --> 00:18:00,688
Which means
I now have self-esteem.
406
00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:04,083
Which means
I'’m going to die alone.
407
00:18:06,737 --> 00:18:08,696
Anyway,
408
00:18:08,783 --> 00:18:11,002
glad to be sober.
409
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,526
Thanks.
410
00:18:12,613 --> 00:18:14,136
Anybody else
want to share?
411
00:18:14,223 --> 00:18:15,659
Yes.
412
00:18:15,746 --> 00:18:18,227
Bonnie. Alcoholic.
413
00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:20,011
OTHERS:
Hi, Bonnie.
414
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,493
I'’m sorry I'’m so emotional,
I just, uh...
415
00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:25,974
I miss my people.
416
00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:30,848
Mom, we'’re your people.
417
00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:32,763
Stop saying that.
418
00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:37,116
♪
419
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,947
[knocking on door]
420
00:18:47,517 --> 00:18:49,171
Hey, buddy.Hey, Mom.
421
00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:51,391
Ah! Did you have a fun time
with your dad and Candace?
422
00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:52,870
Yeah.
423
00:18:52,957 --> 00:18:54,481
Christy, can I talk
to you for a sec?
424
00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:57,440
Um, sure.
425
00:18:57,527 --> 00:18:59,573
Here, take these aspirin
up to your grandma.
426
00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:03,403
She'’s had a blinding
headache for days.
427
00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:07,102
So, what'’s up?
428
00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:08,669
Well, I just wanted to say
that I heard about
429
00:19:08,756 --> 00:19:12,455
the breakup with my dad
and I'’m so sorry.
430
00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:18,940
Yeah, well, you know,
that'’s how it goes sometimes.
431
00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:21,421
Mm, I did try to warn you
that he gets bored with women
432
00:19:21,508 --> 00:19:24,119
very easily, so...
433
00:19:26,426 --> 00:19:29,907
Actually, Candace,
I broke up with him.
434
00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:31,344
Sure you did.
435
00:19:32,649 --> 00:19:33,955
The lonely waitress dumped
436
00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:35,478
the handsome millionaire.
437
00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:39,917
Come here.
438
00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:45,184
I know why
you'’re a bitch.
29330
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