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1
00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:05,483
Okay, hypothetical question:
Christy, you can'’t answer.
2
00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:06,919
Why can'’t I answer?
3
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:07,920
I want to answer.
4
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,705
Suit yourself.
5
00:00:09,792 --> 00:00:11,533
I am tired of waiting
for Mr. Right.
6
00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:14,101
If I went gay,
who here would go out with me?
7
00:00:14,188 --> 00:00:16,538
I don'’t want to answer.
8
00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:18,975
Are we gay, too?
9
00:00:19,062 --> 00:00:21,064
Or are we just really drunk
at Mardi Gras?
10
00:00:23,414 --> 00:00:24,894
You know, for beads.
11
00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:27,331
Either way, I'’m in.
12
00:00:27,418 --> 00:00:28,550
Really?
13
00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:29,812
She'’s sober and tall.
14
00:00:29,899 --> 00:00:31,509
That'’s half my wish list.
15
00:00:31,596 --> 00:00:34,121
Come on, you'’re not really
giving up on men.
16
00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:35,861
You'’re just going through
a little slump.
17
00:00:35,948 --> 00:00:37,994
Marjorie, I haven'’t been
with a man in over a year,
18
00:00:38,081 --> 00:00:39,430
and to be completely honest,
19
00:00:39,517 --> 00:00:40,779
I'’m not even concerned
about sex.
20
00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:42,607
I just want somebody
to want me.
21
00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:44,827
I understand that.
22
00:00:44,914 --> 00:00:46,481
I didn'’t have
an intimate relationship
23
00:00:46,568 --> 00:00:47,656
for almost seven years.
24
00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:49,136
I'’d given up hope
25
00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:51,094
that anybody would
ever want me again.
26
00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:53,444
Now, not only
am I desired,
27
00:00:53,531 --> 00:00:55,403
Victor and I are
having intercourse
28
00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:57,405
three times a week,
like clockwork.
29
00:00:59,537 --> 00:01:01,104
Seriously?
30
00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:02,845
So, like, Monday,
Wednesday and Friday?
31
00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:05,065
Monday, Wednesday
and Saturday.
32
00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:07,980
Fridays, we like
to watch Blue Bloods.
33
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,809
Bonnie, you want guys
to notice you,
34
00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:12,637
maybe you need to show
a little more skin.
35
00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:17,164
Yeah, I bet those long legs
look yummy in a skirt.
36
00:01:18,817 --> 00:01:21,907
I might still be
on the gay thing.
37
00:01:21,994 --> 00:01:24,562
I guess I could dig out
the Daisy Dukes.
38
00:01:24,649 --> 00:01:26,521
Ugh. If you do that,
39
00:01:26,608 --> 00:01:28,566
promise me you'’ll wear
underwear this time.
40
00:01:28,653 --> 00:01:31,265
Oh, just let it go.Don'’t tell me to let it go.
41
00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:33,397
We can never go back
to that shoe store again.
42
00:01:33,484 --> 00:01:34,616
MARJORIE:
Okay.
43
00:01:34,703 --> 00:01:36,226
That'’s enough.
44
00:01:36,313 --> 00:01:37,836
Let'’s pay the check
and go to the meeting.
45
00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:39,751
In all fairness, Mom,
46
00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:41,405
you really haven'’t
47
00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:43,233
put yourself out there
since Alvin died.
48
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,888
Yeah, well, your father
was a tough act to follow.
49
00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:47,411
You really loved him,
didn'’t you?
50
00:01:47,498 --> 00:01:50,022
I think about him every day.
51
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,763
Aw, that'’s sweet.
52
00:01:53,722 --> 00:01:55,854
So you gonna kick in
for your Cobb salad, or what?
53
00:02:00,729 --> 00:02:02,513
How about Larry?
He'’s single.
54
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,081
No, I don'’t like
reformed heroin addicts.
55
00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:06,865
They'’re so full
of themselves.
56
00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:08,911
Okay, how '’bout Angry Mike?
57
00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:10,434
Long-term sobriety,
has a good job.
58
00:02:10,521 --> 00:02:12,044
Pass.
59
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,742
I'’m willing to date
an angry man,
60
00:02:13,829 --> 00:02:16,440
but not one who still
uses a flip phone.
61
00:02:16,527 --> 00:02:18,747
You'’re not dating any of them,
it'’s just practice.
62
00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:20,488
Yeah, like when
you'’re 14
63
00:02:20,575 --> 00:02:23,012
and take a shower
with your cute cousin.
64
00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:26,755
Just go talk
to a couple of guys,
65
00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:27,886
get your mojo back.
66
00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:30,498
Hey, what about Steve?
67
00:02:30,585 --> 00:02:31,977
Steve? Really?
68
00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:33,544
Yeah, he'’s perfect.
69
00:02:33,631 --> 00:02:36,025
He'’s like a CPR
dummy with hair.
70
00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:38,897
And you'’re
not related.
71
00:02:38,984 --> 00:02:40,682
Fine. I'’m going in.
72
00:02:40,769 --> 00:02:41,639
Hold my Triscuit.
73
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:46,383
Look at those legs go.
74
00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:47,993
It'’s getting weird, Wendy.
75
00:02:52,084 --> 00:02:52,998
Hey, Steve.
76
00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:54,217
Hey.
77
00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:56,741
I like your shoes.
78
00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:58,265
Thanks.
79
00:02:58,352 --> 00:03:00,919
I also have them in gray.
80
00:03:01,006 --> 00:03:02,921
Nice.
81
00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:04,532
Mind if I join you?
82
00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:06,621
Well, somebody left
these keys here
83
00:03:06,708 --> 00:03:09,406
to save the seat, but... please.
84
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,109
♪
85
00:03:32,299 --> 00:03:34,257
That was a great
meeting, huh?
86
00:03:34,344 --> 00:03:36,216
Laurie reunited
with her parents,
87
00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:37,956
Sam got his
90-day chip...
88
00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:39,480
just one miracle
after another.
89
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,264
Yeah.
90
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:43,875
You ever notice how
Steve looks like a pirate?
91
00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:45,399
What?
92
00:03:45,486 --> 00:03:46,748
Not an evil pirate.
93
00:03:46,835 --> 00:03:48,619
More Johnny Depp-ish.
94
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:52,144
I'’ll give you the "ish" part.
95
00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:56,671
You do know he was
just supposed to be
96
00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:58,020
somebody to practice
flirting with...
97
00:03:58,107 --> 00:03:59,543
That'’s all I'’m doing.
98
00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:01,371
It just helps
if I can visualize him
99
00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:03,373
as somebody who'’d be
on a bottle of rum.
100
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,332
[phone ringing]
101
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,423
Hey, Baxter.
What'’s up?
102
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:11,207
BAXTER:
Couple of things: Is it cool
103
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:13,296
if I drop off Roscoe
an hour early this Friday?
104
00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:15,864
Sure.Candace and I are
going out to celebrate
105
00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:17,344
the anniversary
of our first date.
106
00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:18,823
Great.
107
00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:21,086
I got us a room
at the Wine Country Inn.
108
00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:23,175
Nice.It'’s a package deal:
109
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,265
champagne brunch,
couple'’s massage in the room.
110
00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:26,440
Don'’t care, Baxter.
111
00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:27,876
Yeah, you do.
112
00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:30,444
Also, don'’t forget we'’ve got
113
00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:32,663
Roscoe'’s parent-teacher
conference tomorrow.
114
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,230
"Don'’t forget"?
115
00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:36,406
You'’re telling me
not to forget?
116
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:38,365
You, who used to live in a van?
117
00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:40,628
You, who was arrested in a
Wal-Mart for not wearing pants?
118
00:04:40,715 --> 00:04:42,238
Not fair.
119
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:43,892
I was there to buy pants.
120
00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:45,676
I am the responsible one.
121
00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:49,419
So don'’t call me
and tell me not to forget.
122
00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:51,203
[annoyed sigh]
123
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,509
You forgot.
124
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:53,902
Totally forgot.
125
00:04:53,989 --> 00:04:55,120
Mother of the year.
126
00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:56,426
Really?
127
00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:57,906
You want to play this game?
128
00:04:57,993 --> 00:04:59,908
I do not.
129
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,346
♪♪
130
00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:04,652
[Christy exhales]
131
00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:06,044
Where the hell is sixth grade?
132
00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:08,960
Christy, over here.
133
00:05:09,047 --> 00:05:09,961
Oh. Hey, Christy!
134
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:11,920
Candace.
135
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,051
Look at that.
136
00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:14,923
You brought a date
137
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:17,012
to our son'’s
parent-teacher conference.
138
00:05:17,099 --> 00:05:19,362
Candace thought she could
provide some insight
139
00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:21,756
into Roscoe'’s
academic development.
140
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:22,844
We both thought that.
141
00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:24,236
We both thought that.
142
00:05:25,673 --> 00:05:27,196
Hi.
143
00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:28,850
You must be Roscoe'’s parents.
144
00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:30,155
Two of us are.
145
00:05:30,242 --> 00:05:31,505
Candace, hi.
146
00:05:31,592 --> 00:05:33,071
Did you get my e-mail
147
00:05:33,158 --> 00:05:34,334
about making costumes
for the musical?
148
00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:35,987
Three frogs and a prince.
149
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:37,728
I'’m sewing away like
a Cambodian sweatshop.
150
00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:41,602
Candace is the room mom.
151
00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:43,647
Well, I'’m the mom mom.
152
00:05:43,734 --> 00:05:45,214
No one'’s arguing that.
153
00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:49,000
Mom mom beats room mom.
Ask anybody.
154
00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:51,699
Okay. So, before we get started,
155
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:53,048
I just have to ask...
156
00:05:53,135 --> 00:05:54,789
Um, has there been a change
157
00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:56,704
in Roscoe'’s living situation
recently?
158
00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:59,228
Yeah, he'’s been
staying with us more.
159
00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:02,318
If Roscoe'’s schoolwork
is suffering,
160
00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:04,668
we can certainly go back
to the original arrangement.
161
00:06:04,755 --> 00:06:07,367
Oh, no, on the contrary,
he is doing terrific.
162
00:06:09,673 --> 00:06:10,892
I'’m sorry, what?
163
00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:12,633
Yeah, in all of his subjects.
164
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,025
Math, science...
165
00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:15,810
he'’s reading above grade level.
166
00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,899
Oh, I do vocabulary
flashcards with him, so...
167
00:06:17,986 --> 00:06:20,249
She does '’em with me too.
168
00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:22,207
And I have made
significant proclivity.
169
00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:25,907
Well, whatever the situation is,
170
00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:27,909
the change in Roscoe
has been remarkable.
171
00:06:27,996 --> 00:06:30,912
Really?
Well, that'’s great news.
172
00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:32,653
CANDACE:
Isn'’t it?
173
00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:35,133
And you were so right about
limiting his TV time
174
00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:37,484
and making sure that he has a
balanced and nutritious diet.
175
00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:39,486
LIPPERT: Yeah, you know, well,
I say that to all the parents
176
00:06:39,573 --> 00:06:40,878
and so few listen.
177
00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:42,619
Mmm.
178
00:06:42,706 --> 00:06:45,187
Just so we'’re clear,
I am the parent.
179
00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:47,015
I may not listen,
but I am the parent.
180
00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:50,932
It'’s okay, Christy.
181
00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:53,413
We all know you'’re doing
the best that you can.
182
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:56,938
Do not do
the pity voice with me.
183
00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:58,896
Oh, dear,
now you'’re upset.
184
00:07:02,291 --> 00:07:05,555
I am not upset,
you big red turd.
185
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:17,611
Baxter, say something.
186
00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:19,264
Yes, Baxter, say something.
187
00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:23,051
Mrs. Lippert,
may I use the bathroom?
188
00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:28,012
[knocking at door]
189
00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:30,798
Hey.
190
00:07:30,885 --> 00:07:32,016
Oh, hey, Bonnie.
Come on in.
191
00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:43,593
Wow! Look at you!
192
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:46,770
Oh. Oh... laundry day.
193
00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:48,859
Um...
194
00:07:48,946 --> 00:07:50,513
so, what brings you by?
195
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,950
I was just looking
for my daughter.
196
00:07:53,037 --> 00:07:56,867
I thought I'’d surprise her
and take her to lunch.
197
00:07:59,348 --> 00:08:01,045
I think she'’s working
at the restaurant today.
198
00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:03,134
Oh, fudge.
199
00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:05,049
[inhales, exhales]
200
00:08:05,136 --> 00:08:07,225
Probably should'’ve
called her first.
201
00:08:07,312 --> 00:08:10,098
Well, if you'’d called,
then you couldn'’t surprise her.
202
00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:13,710
Oh, look at you,
thinking like a lawyer.
203
00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:19,150
I didn'’t graduate 281st
in my class for nothing.
204
00:08:19,237 --> 00:08:21,283
[laughing]
205
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:24,286
So, uh, whatcha doin'’?
206
00:08:24,373 --> 00:08:26,027
Working on a big case?
207
00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:29,030
I wish.
I'’m just a small town lawyer.
208
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:32,294
Don'’t sell yourself short,
you read all these books.
209
00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:37,342
Not really,
they came with the office.
210
00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:45,786
Okay, well...
211
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:48,702
I guess I'’ll just...
take myself to lunch.
212
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,835
Hang-hang on.
213
00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:52,967
Let-let-let me
take you to lunch.
214
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:54,490
Really?
215
00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:56,231
You'’re not too
terribly busy?
216
00:08:56,318 --> 00:08:58,233
No, I'’m just trying to get bail
217
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,931
for some guy in county lockup--
he can wait.
218
00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:03,804
Uh, so, what do you...
what do you feel like eating?
219
00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:05,457
A salad or something?
220
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,808
I'’m actually more of
a meat-eater, Steve.
221
00:09:15,903 --> 00:09:17,382
Baxter?
222
00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:19,123
A moment?
223
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:20,647
Uh, okay.
224
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:23,127
Meet you at the car?No problem.
225
00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:27,479
Be a man for once.
226
00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:32,354
What'’s up?
227
00:09:32,441 --> 00:09:33,355
[scoffs]
228
00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:34,704
Knock it off.
229
00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:36,097
Your balls just went to the car.
230
00:09:38,142 --> 00:09:40,797
Your girlfriend needs
to know her place.
231
00:09:40,884 --> 00:09:43,278
I don'’t see what the problem is.
You heard the teacher.
232
00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:44,932
Because of Candace,
our son is doing great.
233
00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:47,021
Sure, now.
234
00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:49,414
But what happens when you dump
her for some other bimbo?
235
00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:52,113
Are you calling Candace a bimbo?
She went to Stanford.
236
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,897
I'’m, like, the third guy
she'’s ever slept with.
237
00:09:53,984 --> 00:09:55,899
She told you
you were the third guy?
238
00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:57,597
Please, multiply that by nine,
239
00:09:57,684 --> 00:10:00,077
and double it
if she was in a sorority.
240
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:04,995
I'’m too upset for arithmetic.
241
00:10:05,082 --> 00:10:07,998
Baxter, don'’t you see
what'’s happening?
242
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:10,392
This woman is inserting herself
into Roscoe'’s life,
243
00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:11,872
playing at being his mom,
244
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:13,787
and we both know
how this is gonna end.
245
00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:17,094
No, youdon'’t see
what'’s happening.
246
00:10:17,181 --> 00:10:18,661
This isn'’t gonna end.
247
00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:20,881
I love Candace,
and I'’m gonna marry her.
248
00:10:20,968 --> 00:10:23,144
Seriously?
249
00:10:23,231 --> 00:10:25,146
I bought the ring.
250
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:28,018
I'’m gonna propose Sunday
at the champagne brunch.
251
00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:29,585
Slip the chef a few bucks
252
00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:32,457
and have him cook it
into her omelet.
253
00:10:32,544 --> 00:10:34,459
That'’s very romantic.
254
00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:36,636
[chuckles]
Hope she doesn'’t choke on it.
255
00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:39,856
I know, right?
256
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,078
Are you sure about this?
257
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:45,906
Yeah.
258
00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:47,821
I thought maybe
you'’d be happy for me.
259
00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:51,607
I really want to be,
260
00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:56,220
but Candace is such a sneaky,
pushy, manipulative woman.
261
00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:57,308
[chuckles]
262
00:10:57,395 --> 00:10:58,614
What can I tell you?
263
00:10:58,701 --> 00:10:59,659
I have a type.
264
00:11:01,573 --> 00:11:03,488
♪
265
00:11:08,929 --> 00:11:10,974
♪♪
266
00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:17,894
Christy, is it really the
bread you'’re angry at?
267
00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:20,331
Maybe it is.
You don'’t know.
268
00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:22,333
Honey, it'’s not
a bad thing
269
00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:24,379
that your son has
more people who love him.
270
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:25,989
That'’s what I told her.
271
00:11:26,076 --> 00:11:28,339
Well, despite that,
it'’s good advice.
272
00:11:28,426 --> 00:11:32,648
And you know Roscoe is never
gonna choose Candace over you.
273
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:34,694
JILL:
Not necessarily.
274
00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:38,088
I liked my father'’s second wife
way more than my mom.
275
00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:42,223
Of course, we wore the same size
and she bought me vodka.
276
00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:47,924
Bottom line,
would you rather your son had
277
00:11:48,011 --> 00:11:50,535
a horrible stepmother,
who made his life miserable?
278
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,627
How miserable are we talking?
279
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,979
You got a positive report
from Roscoe'’s teacher,
280
00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:01,285
and a man you no longer want
is getting married.
281
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:02,939
You might want
to stop and think
282
00:12:03,026 --> 00:12:05,725
about why this
bothers you so much.
283
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,035
She'’s dating Steve.
284
00:12:12,122 --> 00:12:13,994
Hey!
285
00:12:14,081 --> 00:12:17,040
Nicely done.
286
00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:19,042
Bonnie, is that
a good idea?
287
00:12:19,129 --> 00:12:22,698
I am not dating him as
much as playing with him.
288
00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:25,353
Like when you hold a piece
of yarn over a cat'’s head
289
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,572
and you get '’em spinning
around and they fall over.
290
00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:31,576
First of all, you'’re never
coming near my cats again.
291
00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:34,579
And secondly, Steve is
very fragile right now,
292
00:12:34,666 --> 00:12:37,060
and you'’re playing a very
dangerous game with him.
293
00:12:37,147 --> 00:12:39,454
Uh...
294
00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:42,413
It'’s Wednesday, don'’t you
have some intercourse to do?
295
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:45,808
♪♪
296
00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:47,157
[clears throat]
297
00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:50,030
So... what
could happen
298
00:12:50,117 --> 00:12:52,075
if I sued for sole custody?
299
00:12:52,162 --> 00:12:54,425
Well, it won'’t be pretty.
300
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:56,645
It sounds like your ex is
marrying into some big money,
301
00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:58,560
so they can drag it out forever.
302
00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,649
I guess I'’ll need
a good lawyer. [chuckles]
303
00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:01,998
So will your ex.
304
00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:03,521
Will you give him my card?
305
00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:08,613
Hey, uh, speaking
of custody battles,
306
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:11,399
has your mom ever
been to Cabo?
307
00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:16,099
She has.
308
00:13:16,186 --> 00:13:17,405
But she'’s not allowed back.
309
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:20,538
[chuckles]
310
00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:22,018
That is so Bonnie.
311
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:25,717
Sounds like you'’re
a little smitten.
312
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,416
Oh, I'’m way past smitten.
313
00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:29,852
I'’m "smoten."
314
00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:33,290
"Smooten"? "Smahten"?
315
00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:34,857
I just really like her.
316
00:13:34,944 --> 00:13:37,120
You had one lunch.
317
00:13:37,207 --> 00:13:38,469
I know, it'’s crazy.
318
00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:40,341
I just can'’t help but feel
319
00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:41,908
like there'’s something
special between us.
320
00:13:41,995 --> 00:13:44,606
I... I get that.
321
00:13:44,693 --> 00:13:48,305
Just do yourself
a favor and go slow.
322
00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:49,437
You'’re right...
323
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:51,352
You'’re right.
324
00:13:51,439 --> 00:13:53,267
You know, if we got married,
I'’d be your stepdad.
325
00:13:55,399 --> 00:13:57,314
Slower.
326
00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:03,190
Take time to get
to know each other.
327
00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:05,975
Gee, I don'’t know,
that might ruin it.
328
00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:07,934
♪
329
00:14:19,597 --> 00:14:21,991
Ah, home, sweet home.
330
00:14:24,211 --> 00:14:26,735
Sorry, I'’m, uh, texting
something to Steve
331
00:14:26,822 --> 00:14:28,128
to whet his appetite.
332
00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:31,000
He is going to wet everything.
333
00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:33,307
I can'’t work this stupid thing.
Do you mind?
334
00:14:33,394 --> 00:14:36,701
Yes, I mind. I am not taking
dirty pictures of my mother.
335
00:14:36,788 --> 00:14:39,313
Would you rather
a stranger do it?
336
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,228
Fine.
337
00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:43,839
[clears throat] So what'’s
your endgame with Steve?
338
00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:46,059
Just flirting, having fun.
339
00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:51,455
Really?Yeah, get my groove back
340
00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:53,588
till I find somebody I like
and I'’m ready.
341
00:14:58,071 --> 00:14:59,681
Great plan.
342
00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:01,813
Except Steve'’s
thinking marriage.
343
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,424
To me?
344
00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:07,341
'’Fraid so.
345
00:15:07,428 --> 00:15:09,517
How the hell
does he get to that?
346
00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:11,823
I don'’t know,
maybe a lamb chop lunch
347
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,695
with six feet of Daisy Duke.
348
00:15:13,782 --> 00:15:16,437
Ah, crap.
349
00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:18,395
Yeah.
350
00:15:18,482 --> 00:15:21,181
So [clears throat] I guess
the question now is--
351
00:15:21,268 --> 00:15:23,270
do you want to be
in a relationship with him?
352
00:15:23,357 --> 00:15:26,795
Hmm, I feel like I should
pretend that'’s hard to answer.
353
00:15:26,882 --> 00:15:28,579
Why don'’t you do
everybody a favor?
354
00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:30,930
Sit down with him,
tell him he got the wrong idea
355
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,322
and that you just want
to be friends.
356
00:15:32,409 --> 00:15:33,671
Yeah, I guess.
357
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:35,021
[sighs]
358
00:15:35,108 --> 00:15:36,674
So I should delete these?
359
00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:38,372
Yeah.
360
00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:40,374
Oh, wait...
[chuckles]
361
00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:42,028
Send this one to Wendy.
362
00:15:42,115 --> 00:15:44,030
Let'’s see what happens.
363
00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:46,119
♪♪
364
00:15:46,206 --> 00:15:47,729
[yelling and ray-gunfire
on video game]
365
00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:50,036
Hey, before your dad
gets here,
366
00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:51,341
can we talk for a minute?
367
00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:53,387
Sure.
368
00:15:53,474 --> 00:15:55,041
Can you turn off
the game?
369
00:15:55,128 --> 00:15:57,739
I can talk and play.
370
00:15:57,826 --> 00:16:01,395
Okay, um, so I talked
to your teacher,
371
00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:03,745
and she told me
how great you'’re doing,
372
00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:06,400
and I just want to tell you
I'’m really proud of you.
373
00:16:06,487 --> 00:16:08,097
Thanks.
374
00:16:08,184 --> 00:16:11,405
And I'’m sorry
I'’m not around more,
375
00:16:11,492 --> 00:16:15,409
you know, to volunteer
in your class and...
376
00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:17,802
make costumes.
377
00:16:17,889 --> 00:16:21,850
I'’m just trying to make
a better life for us.
378
00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:22,894
I know.
379
00:16:24,592 --> 00:16:26,420
That doesn'’t mean
I don'’t love you
380
00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:28,683
and miss you like crazy
when you'’re not here.
381
00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:30,206
Look out for the zombie.
382
00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:32,643
[ray-gunfire and yelling]Got him.
383
00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:37,083
Whoa, that is
disturbingly violent.
384
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:41,435
Anyway, it'’s not always
gonna be like this.
385
00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:43,785
At some point,
you and I will be able
386
00:16:43,872 --> 00:16:45,308
to spend more time together.
387
00:16:45,395 --> 00:16:46,440
Cool.
388
00:16:46,527 --> 00:16:48,442
Yeah, cool.
389
00:16:51,923 --> 00:16:55,144
So for now you'’re okay
with the way things are?
390
00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:56,450
Yeah, sure.
391
00:16:57,886 --> 00:16:59,148
You like Candace?
392
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:00,323
Yeah, don'’t you?
393
00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:02,630
Um... another zombie.
394
00:17:02,717 --> 00:17:05,198
He'’s dead. Again.
395
00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:07,852
Boy, you are [clears throat]
really good at this game.
396
00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:09,811
Yeah, so you didn'’t
answer my question.
397
00:17:09,898 --> 00:17:11,247
Do you like Candace?
398
00:17:13,423 --> 00:17:16,383
Well, let'’s just say
if you do, I do.
399
00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:18,515
There is one thing about her
that kind of makes me mad.
400
00:17:18,602 --> 00:17:20,126
Really? Tell me.
401
00:17:21,910 --> 00:17:23,477
She doesn'’t let me
play this game.
402
00:17:23,564 --> 00:17:25,174
She says it'’s not good for me.
403
00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:27,176
[howling on video game]
404
00:17:27,263 --> 00:17:28,482
Well, you know what?
405
00:17:28,569 --> 00:17:30,440
[chuckles]
406
00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:32,138
When you'’re in this house,
407
00:17:32,225 --> 00:17:34,488
you can decapitate
all the zombies you want.
408
00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:35,532
Thanks.
409
00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:36,664
Can we stop talking now?
410
00:17:38,753 --> 00:17:40,320
Sure.
411
00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:43,453
I love you.
412
00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:45,542
Mom! Get off, get off!
I can'’t see!
413
00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:47,196
I don'’t care.
414
00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:48,850
Mom! Zombies!
415
00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:56,423
I'’m really sorry if I gave
you the wrong impression.
416
00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:58,729
I'’m just not at a place
in my life right now
417
00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:00,122
for a relationship.
418
00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:01,645
I understand.
419
00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:03,647
You'’re a great guy, Steve.
420
00:18:03,734 --> 00:18:05,649
You'’re gonna find somebody,
just give it some time.
421
00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:09,697
I hope we can
still be friends.
422
00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:11,002
You know, sober
buddies together.
423
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,743
Sounds good.
424
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:14,136
You gonna be okay?
425
00:18:14,223 --> 00:18:16,182
Yeah.
426
00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:19,794
I just... kind of got
ahead of myself here.
427
00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:21,839
I do that sometimes.
428
00:18:21,926 --> 00:18:24,581
I do the same thing.
429
00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:28,803
Ah, damn it, take
off your pants.
430
00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:30,239
Thank you.
29918
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