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Previously onMom...
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[phone vibrates]Hello?
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BONNIE:
Christy.
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00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:08,617
Where are you?
5
00:00:08,704 --> 00:00:10,619
Uh... uh...
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I'’m in jail.
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Oh, God.
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Are you okay?
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Yeah, just got a DUI.
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00:00:19,236 --> 00:00:22,196
How could you let me
spend a night in jail?
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00:00:22,283 --> 00:00:24,807
How could you lie to me
about getting loaded again?!
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00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:26,156
It'’s not my fault.
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00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:28,158
I was prescribed
those painkillers.
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00:00:28,245 --> 00:00:30,204
I am the victim here.
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00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:32,554
How'’d you blow a one-one
on the Breathalyzer?
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00:00:32,641 --> 00:00:35,992
Easy, I was drinking to forget
I was hooked on painkillers.
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00:00:41,302 --> 00:00:44,522
I really appreciate
you coming with me.
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00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:46,350
Hey, it'’s like the old days,
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00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:48,178
except you didn'’t have
to write me a note
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00:00:48,265 --> 00:00:50,572
to get me out of school.
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00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:52,835
Do you think your lawyer friend
knows what he'’s doing?
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00:00:52,922 --> 00:00:57,013
He'’s had three DUIs himself,
and he'’s not in jail, so yeah.
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Good news.
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00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:02,975
I took a whiz next to the
judge-- he doesn'’t remember me.
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00:01:04,455 --> 00:01:06,327
Also he'’s doing this for free.
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So, listen, I spoke to the D.A.
and got the charges reduced
27
00:01:09,982 --> 00:01:11,419
from DUI to reckless driving,
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which means you can get
your license back,
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and you only have to do
20 hours of community service.
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20 hours?
Mm.
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00:01:17,729 --> 00:01:20,515
Can'’t you go back to the men'’s
room and get it down to ten?
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Hey, I'’m a two-bit lawyer,
not a two-bit whore.
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00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:25,998
Some might call that
"potato-potato."
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Trust me,
this is a good deal.
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00:01:28,175 --> 00:01:30,568
All you have to do is tell
the judge you'’re very sorry,
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00:01:30,655 --> 00:01:32,570
and it'’ll never happen again.
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But when do I get a chance
to tell my side of the story?
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Here'’s what you do:
go down to the park,
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find a homeless guy,
give him a sandwich,
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00:01:40,578 --> 00:01:43,581
and while he'’s eating,
tell himyour side of the story.
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You'’re not taking
me seriously.
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No fooling you.
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Mom, just do what he says.But the thing is...
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Here comes the thing--
she always has a thing.
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The thing is, I was
prescribed those painkillers.
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Mom, Mom.
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"I'’m very sorry.
It will never happen again."
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Okay, okay.
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00:02:00,076 --> 00:02:01,643
Bonnie Plunkett?Here we go.
50
00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:03,732
Present, Your Honor.
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00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:06,952
Miss Plunkett, I see here
that you are pleading guilty
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00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:08,737
to the lesser charge
of reckless driving.
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00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:10,782
That'’s correct,
Your Honor.
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Is there anything you have
to say before I sentence you?
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I'’m very sorry, and it
will never happen again.
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00:02:23,708 --> 00:02:24,709
But the thing is...
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Son of a bitch.
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I was prescribed highly
addictive painkillers
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for a back injury,
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00:02:31,238 --> 00:02:33,892
so in a way,
I am the victim of Big Pharma.
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00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:34,850
Say good-bye to your mother.
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How was school today?
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Fine.
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00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,178
How was court?
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You told him?
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00:03:01,093 --> 00:03:02,834
Why not? I have nothing
to be ashamed of.
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00:03:02,921 --> 00:03:04,401
Yes, you do.
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00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:08,666
It'’s not Grandma'’s fault,
it'’s a big farmer.
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Big Pharma.
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That'’s what I said.
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Let'’s [clears throat]
change the subject.
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How'’d you do on your math test?
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00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:21,244
I got a hundred.Way to go!
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00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:24,160
That'’s also how many hours
Grandma has to pick up trash
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00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:26,380
on the side of the highway.
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00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:29,209
I thought we were changing
the subject.
You'’re right.
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Grandma also lost
her driver'’s license.
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00:03:32,821 --> 00:03:34,257
Did you check under the couch?
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00:03:34,344 --> 00:03:35,824
I find lots of stuff
under there.
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00:03:37,434 --> 00:03:39,219
Why don'’t you go look?Okay.
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00:03:42,613 --> 00:03:44,702
All right, let'’s have it.
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00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:47,357
You had to give a speech.
You couldn'’t have just said,
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00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:49,359
"I'’m sorry.
It'’ll never happen again."
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00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:52,449
Now I have to do all the grocery
shopping, all the errands.
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00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:54,451
I have to drive
and pick him up from school.
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I can'’t count on you
for anything.
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00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:58,977
Hey, to be fair, I don'’t really
do much around here now.
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00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:03,243
Hey, I make the jokes
about how much you suck.
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00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:05,419
ROSCOE:
I found 37 cents!
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00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:07,899
Give it to Grandma;
she'’ll need it for the bus!
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00:04:09,684 --> 00:04:10,815
That'’s one of my jokes.
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Hi, I'’m Regina.
I'’m an alcoholic.
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00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:16,430
OTHERS:
Hi, Regina.
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00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:18,127
I just want to say real quick
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00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:20,521
how much gratitude
is in my heart.
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00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:22,392
When I woke up this morning,
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00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:24,829
I opened my eyes,
still thinking I was in jail.
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00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:27,963
But I was in a king-sized bed
in a million-dollar mansion,
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00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:30,922
and I knew I had
one person to thank.
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00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,924
Jesus Christ.
101
00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:37,320
Maybe you should
thank the person
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00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:40,280
who bought the bed
and the mansion.
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00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,282
You mean your ex-husband?
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00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:46,938
That'’s all I got.
105
00:04:47,025 --> 00:04:47,939
Thank you.
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00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:49,985
[applause]
107
00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:51,682
Okay, who'’d like
to go next?
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00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:53,467
I'’ll go.
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Hi, I'’m Bonnie, and
I'’m an alcoholic.
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OTHERS:
Hi, Bonnie.
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00:04:57,079 --> 00:04:59,299
Today, I have five days sober.
112
00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:05,870
What, no applause?
113
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:07,698
Brrr, chilly.
114
00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:12,486
It'’s not easy to say this,
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00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:16,141
but I lied to
you guys a lot.
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00:05:16,228 --> 00:05:18,448
Even about stuff
I didn'’t have to.
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00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:21,495
And I'’m not proud about that.
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00:05:21,582 --> 00:05:24,498
I mean, I'’m proud of
how well-crafted the lies were,
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00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:27,849
because, you know, doing
anything well is its own reward,
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00:05:27,936 --> 00:05:29,677
but your trust
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00:05:29,764 --> 00:05:33,507
means a lot to me,
and I'’m very sorry.
122
00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:35,117
It'’ll never happen again.
123
00:05:35,204 --> 00:05:36,640
"But the thing is..."
124
00:05:36,727 --> 00:05:37,902
But the thing is...
125
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,558
...it'’s not all my fault.
126
00:05:41,645 --> 00:05:44,561
I mean, the doctors,
the pharmaceutical companies,
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00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,694
the rehab centers--
they'’re all in cahoots.
128
00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:49,653
I would not be surprised if
my back injury was the result
129
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:51,525
of showering
in a bathtub
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00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:53,831
that was purposely designed
to make you fall.
131
00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:55,703
I don'’t mean to sound paranoid,
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00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:57,531
but we might be
looking at a giant
133
00:05:57,618 --> 00:06:00,142
pharmaceutical-medical-plumbing
conspiracy.
134
00:06:00,229 --> 00:06:02,579
Are we allowed to boo?
135
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,322
Anyway, that'’s it.
136
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:09,978
Put those daisy stickers down
in your tub, otherwise they win.
137
00:06:10,065 --> 00:06:12,284
Okay.
138
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,677
Who else would like to share?
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00:06:13,764 --> 00:06:14,983
I would.
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00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:16,550
Hi, I'’m Christy.
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00:06:16,637 --> 00:06:17,725
I'’m an alcoholic.
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OTHERS:
Hi, Christy.
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00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:23,992
I just want to say how grateful
I am to this program,
144
00:06:24,079 --> 00:06:27,604
because without it,
I would have murdered my mother.
145
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:34,219
And, you know, people
toss around the word "murder"
146
00:06:34,306 --> 00:06:37,571
all too easy these days...
147
00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:40,356
but I really mean it.
148
00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:43,707
Thank you.
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00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:45,143
[applause]
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00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:50,018
Okay, anybody else?
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00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:51,715
I'’ll go.
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00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:53,587
Hi, Marjorie, alcoholic.
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00:06:53,674 --> 00:06:55,197
OTHERS:
Hi, Marjorie.
154
00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:57,025
Well, as many of you know,
155
00:06:57,112 --> 00:07:00,681
I'’ve been battling cancer
for the past 18 months,
156
00:07:00,768 --> 00:07:03,379
and today I went
to my oncologist
157
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:06,730
to get the results
of my latest scan.
158
00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:10,038
And I'’m happy to report
that I'’m cancer-free.
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00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:11,909
[gasping]
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00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:13,868
[cheering]
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00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:21,223
All right, let'’s just you and me
put aside our differences
162
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:24,139
and make tonight about
celebrating Marjorie'’s recovery.
163
00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:25,923
Hey, I'’m not the one
seething with resentment.
164
00:07:26,010 --> 00:07:28,230
Quite true--
you'’re too busy creating it.
165
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,320
You'’re a carrier.
166
00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:33,583
You'’re patient zero
of the human resentment virus.
167
00:07:33,670 --> 00:07:35,629
I'’m confused.
168
00:07:35,716 --> 00:07:37,892
Are we setting aside
our differences, or aren'’t we?
169
00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:40,068
We are.
170
00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:41,461
Truce?Truce.
171
00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:44,246
There she is.
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00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:45,595
Our little miracle.
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00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:47,728
MARJORIE:
Thanks, guys.
174
00:07:47,815 --> 00:07:49,817
So now that you'’re cancer-free,
got any exciting plans?
175
00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:51,514
Well, I guess there'’s no reason
176
00:07:51,601 --> 00:07:52,994
to put off
painting the porch anymore.
177
00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:55,953
I could do
that for you.
178
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,041
Really?
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00:07:57,128 --> 00:07:58,782
Aw, thanks, Bonnie.
180
00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:00,349
That doesn'’t count
as community service, Mom.
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00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:02,003
I'’m doing it out of friendship.
182
00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:04,005
And if she signs the forms,
yes, it does.
183
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:08,836
So, how long will it take
for your hair to grow back?
184
00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:11,447
This is my hair.
185
00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:14,363
Looks great.
186
00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:18,498
[crying]
187
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,543
Wendy, why are
you crying?
188
00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:23,024
I made a deal with God
that if he let you live,
189
00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:25,679
I'’d spend the rest of my life
helping the poor.
190
00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:28,159
Oh, honey, why is that sad?
191
00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:30,118
I don'’t want to do it.
192
00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:34,035
Everybody stop looking at me.
193
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,212
How about a toast
to Marjorie?
194
00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:38,300
We don'’t have drinks yet.
195
00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:39,736
Fake it.
196
00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:42,086
Come on, everybody,
let'’s pretend.
197
00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:44,306
Marjorie, you are the most
amazing woman I'’ve ever known.
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00:08:44,393 --> 00:08:46,221
[Bonnie clears throat]
199
00:08:46,308 --> 00:08:48,615
Did you really think you were
in the running for that?
200
00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:53,837
Even when you were sick,
you were always our rock.
201
00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:55,709
And I just want you to know,
202
00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:58,146
we all love you, and...
203
00:08:58,233 --> 00:08:59,582
we'’re so happy
204
00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:01,279
you'’re gonna stick around
with us
205
00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:02,454
for a long, long time.
206
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:03,847
Hear, hear.Cheers.
207
00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:15,119
I pretended there was
alcohol in mine.
208
00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:18,732
Now that you'’re
on the other side of this,
209
00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:20,777
you should travel,
see the world.
210
00:09:20,864 --> 00:09:23,432
Well, as a matter of fact,
I'’m gonna do just that.
211
00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:25,608
My fella wants to take me
on a cruise.
212
00:09:25,695 --> 00:09:27,436
Ugh, those cruise
ships are awful.
213
00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:28,872
Nobody really cares
what you think.
214
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:30,613
She just got healthy.
215
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:32,049
Those things are like
floating petri dishes.
216
00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:34,269
Stop telling people
how to live their lives,
217
00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:35,879
when you can'’t even figure out
how to live your own life.
218
00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:38,055
I live my life just fine.
219
00:09:38,142 --> 00:09:41,102
Really? 52-year-old woman
without a driver'’s license,
220
00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:42,669
wearing an orange vest,
picking up garbage
221
00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:44,279
on the side of the road.
222
00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:46,150
Yeah, you knocked your life
out of the park.
223
00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:48,065
Oh, oh.
Okay, so you with the two kids
224
00:09:48,152 --> 00:09:49,850
and the two different dads,
225
00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:51,547
drops out of high school,
fails at stripping.
226
00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:52,853
I mean, seriously,
who fails at stripping?
227
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:54,289
It'’s taking off your clothes.
228
00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:59,555
Oh, yeah? You want to bet which
one of us has a better life?
229
00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:01,513
I'’m sure you do-- you'’re
the one with a cookie commitment
230
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,558
at Gamblers Anonymous.
231
00:10:04,299 --> 00:10:05,909
What the hell was that?
232
00:10:05,996 --> 00:10:07,345
That'’s me throwing
my imaginary drink
233
00:10:07,432 --> 00:10:08,346
in your face.
234
00:10:08,433 --> 00:10:09,478
Ooh.
235
00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:10,522
Stop it!
236
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,872
Both of you, just shut up.
237
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:14,614
You'’re ruining my remission.
238
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:17,094
FYI, our truce is over.
239
00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:20,228
That was a truce?
240
00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:28,584
[line beeps]
241
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:30,934
Hi, Marjorie, it'’s me.
242
00:10:31,021 --> 00:10:32,980
Maybe you'’re still asleep.
243
00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:36,636
Anyway, I just wanted
to apologize for last night.
244
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,942
I'’m so happy you'’re healthy.
245
00:10:39,029 --> 00:10:41,292
That is the greatest news.
246
00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:44,644
And please know I don'’t
expect you to take sides
247
00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:47,298
in this thing
between me and my mother.
248
00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:50,475
But you get what'’s going on.
249
00:10:54,262 --> 00:10:55,524
Morning.
250
00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:57,831
Mm-hmm.
251
00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:03,184
Who were you
talking to so early?
252
00:11:03,271 --> 00:11:04,533
Marjorie.
253
00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:06,187
She and I are good.
254
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:08,842
Mm-hmm.
255
00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:17,285
Seriously?
256
00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:19,287
I might have liked a second cup.
257
00:11:19,374 --> 00:11:22,420
I might have liked my youth
uninterrupted by childbirth.
258
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:25,423
Now, if you'’ll excuse me,
259
00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:27,077
I'’m off to pick up
dirty diapers,
260
00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:29,514
used condoms and Big Gulps
filled with urine.
261
00:11:30,864 --> 00:11:32,256
And whose fault is that, Mom?
262
00:11:32,343 --> 00:11:34,737
I'’m assuming
long-haul truckers.
263
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:36,260
It'’s never you, is it?
264
00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:37,914
I have never peed in a cup
265
00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:39,611
unless it was ordered
by the court.
266
00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:43,790
Before you go,
267
00:11:43,877 --> 00:11:45,879
tonight'’s the night
we'’re supposed to go over
268
00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:47,402
to Violet and Gregory'’s
for dinner.
269
00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:49,360
That'’s tonight?Yeah.
270
00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:52,059
Do we both have to go?
And by that, I mean you.
271
00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:54,670
I am her mother.
272
00:11:54,757 --> 00:11:56,846
Yes, but I'’m the one she likes.
273
00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:59,196
Okay, look.
274
00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:01,546
This is a big night for Violet.
275
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,723
Let'’s you and I
put our differences aside
276
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:05,420
and make it a good experience
for her.
277
00:12:05,507 --> 00:12:07,204
I can do that. Can you?
278
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:08,379
You couldn'’t do it last night.
279
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:10,077
Oh, so last night was my fault?
280
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:11,600
Marjorie thinks so.
281
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,822
Let me tell you
something, blondie.
282
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:18,825
I may have made mistakes
in my life, but you--
283
00:12:18,912 --> 00:12:21,741
you sit there on your high horse
judging everybody.
284
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:23,830
Not everybody, Mom. Just you.
285
00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:27,442
Wow, how did you become a person
with so little compassion?
286
00:12:27,529 --> 00:12:28,573
Easy.
287
00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:30,184
I spent my formative years
288
00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:32,403
with the most self-obsessed
woman on Earth.
289
00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,884
Oh, please, I barely saw you
when you were growing up.
290
00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,149
Oh, my God!
291
00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:41,151
Do you hear the words
coming out of your mouth?!
292
00:12:41,238 --> 00:12:43,327
I-I know our
neighbors can.
293
00:12:43,414 --> 00:12:45,025
All I said was
294
00:12:45,112 --> 00:12:47,331
if Gregory'’s mother
comes to live with them,
295
00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:48,898
they can say
good-bye to sex!
296
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,421
They'’re getting married!
297
00:12:50,508 --> 00:12:52,772
They can say good-bye
to sex either way!
298
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:56,123
I am so sorry about...
299
00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:58,473
Uh, y-you don'’t have
to keep apologizing.
300
00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:01,258
Mother-daughter relationships
are often quite challenging.
301
00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:03,217
Challenging?
302
00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:06,960
Does your mom have a rap sheet
in California, Arizona,
303
00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:10,746
West Virginia and-- I am not
making this up-- Micronesia?
304
00:13:12,269 --> 00:13:14,532
Um, n-not that I know of.
305
00:13:14,619 --> 00:13:16,708
Listen, we'’re so glad
you two could
306
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,275
join us tonight.
307
00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:19,886
Violet worked very
hard on preparing
308
00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:21,844
a traditional
Shabbat dinner.
309
00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:24,020
Shabbat?It'’s Jewish for Friday.
310
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:25,674
Right?
311
00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:27,110
C-Close enough.
312
00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:30,897
The reason we asked
you to come over,
313
00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:33,029
other than the joy of
getting to know you better,
314
00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:34,683
is, uh...
315
00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:36,467
Violet has some news.
316
00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:39,035
You'’re pregnant?
317
00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:40,558
Why do you always
jump to that?
318
00:13:40,645 --> 00:13:41,951
Oh, like you weren'’t
thinking it.
319
00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:44,388
Of course I was!
320
00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:47,043
But unlike you, I don'’t
vomit out the first words
321
00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:49,219
that pop into
my drug-addled brain!
322
00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:52,875
Hey! Clean and
sober six days.
323
00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:54,355
Mazel tov.
324
00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:59,316
I made the dean'’s list.
325
00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:01,362
And I hate you both.
326
00:14:02,972 --> 00:14:04,321
Excuse me.
327
00:14:05,932 --> 00:14:07,498
20 years of therapy,
and all it took
328
00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:09,370
was an hour and a half
with you two
329
00:14:09,457 --> 00:14:10,850
to make me love my mother.
330
00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:20,816
He certainly has
a lovely condo.
331
00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:22,339
Yeah.
332
00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:24,994
Shame we'’ll never see it again.
333
00:14:26,648 --> 00:14:29,738
Is there any chance
you and I can
334
00:14:29,825 --> 00:14:31,566
clean the slate and start over?
335
00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:32,915
I'’d like that.
336
00:14:33,002 --> 00:14:34,047
Yeah.
337
00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:35,352
[sighs]
Good.
338
00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:36,745
Me, too.
339
00:14:36,832 --> 00:14:38,529
How is this gonna work?
340
00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:41,271
Well, uh...
341
00:14:41,358 --> 00:14:43,578
first, I'’d say
we stop beating each other up
342
00:14:43,665 --> 00:14:44,927
for what'’s in the past.
343
00:14:45,014 --> 00:14:46,276
[groans]
344
00:14:46,363 --> 00:14:47,930
That'’s a tough one.
345
00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:50,498
I really enjoy that.
346
00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:52,195
I know.
347
00:14:52,282 --> 00:14:53,849
What are we gonna
talk about?
348
00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:55,416
Beats me.
349
00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:58,375
That "shabit" dinner
was kind of weird.
350
00:15:00,203 --> 00:15:02,292
Not "shabit."
Shabbat.
351
00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:04,077
I'’m pretty sure it'’s "shabit."
352
00:15:06,688 --> 00:15:08,603
Well, whatever you call it,
353
00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:11,388
the carrots were the only thing
on my plate that I recognized.
354
00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:16,306
See? We don'’t have
to pick on each other,
355
00:15:16,393 --> 00:15:18,265
we can pick on other people.
356
00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:19,570
Sure can.
357
00:15:19,657 --> 00:15:21,659
[laughs]
358
00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:24,010
You think we should circle back
359
00:15:24,097 --> 00:15:26,142
to Violet and Gregory'’s
and apologize?
360
00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:28,318
I don'’t know.
I think we should
361
00:15:28,405 --> 00:15:31,843
give them both
a little time to stop crying.
362
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,194
What do you say
we stop by Marjorie'’s
363
00:15:34,281 --> 00:15:36,587
and apologize for ruining
the celebration last night?
364
00:15:36,674 --> 00:15:38,720
Yeah, definitely.
365
00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:39,808
Love you, Mom.
366
00:15:39,895 --> 00:15:42,463
Love you, daughter.
367
00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:44,160
[chuckles]
368
00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:45,727
What?
369
00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:47,337
I can'’t think of anything
370
00:15:47,424 --> 00:15:49,252
to say to you
that'’s not mean.
371
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,476
I'’m really proud of us for
making this apology to Marjorie.
372
00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:58,435
It'’s smart, too-- we may have to
borrow money from her someday.
373
00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:00,394
[music playing inside]
374
00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:06,704
♪ We got married
in a fever ♪
375
00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:09,359
♪ Hotter than a pepper sprout
376
00:16:11,318 --> 00:16:14,147
♪ We'’ve been talking
'’bout Jackson ♪
377
00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:16,018
Yeah!♪ Ever since the fire went out
378
00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:17,672
♪ Well, I'’m going
to Jackson... ♪
379
00:16:17,759 --> 00:16:19,413
How could they throw
a party without us?
380
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:22,024
I don'’t know. Maybe it
was a last-minute thing?
381
00:16:22,111 --> 00:16:24,940
What kind of a last-minute thing
has a chocolate fountain?
382
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:29,684
♪ Look out,
Jackson town... ♪
383
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,079
[sighs]
384
00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:35,037
My heart is
literally breaking.
385
00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:36,865
Mine, too.
386
00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:39,520
I guess we brought this
on ourselves, huh?
387
00:16:39,607 --> 00:16:41,522
We haven'’t been much fun
to be around.
388
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:43,567
It'’s not you, it'’s me.
389
00:16:43,654 --> 00:16:44,699
No, it'’s me.
390
00:16:44,786 --> 00:16:45,787
Okay.
391
00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:49,530
I'’m the one
who fell off the wagon
392
00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:51,227
and was too frightened
to ask for help.
393
00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:53,229
I'’m the one who lied
to everybody.
394
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:56,450
I'’m the one who got the DUI
and blamed everybody but myself.
395
00:16:56,537 --> 00:16:58,191
Big Pharma didn'’t do this.
396
00:16:58,278 --> 00:17:01,063
Big Bonnie did.
397
00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:03,065
Glad to hear you say that.
398
00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:04,762
Don'’t give up on me, Christy.
399
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:07,243
I am going to be
the kind of mother you deserve.
400
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,419
I would never give up on you.
401
00:17:09,506 --> 00:17:12,422
Oh, baby.
402
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:15,121
I love you.
403
00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:17,079
Love you, too.
404
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:19,734
[loud crash]
405
00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:21,083
What did you do?!
406
00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:22,954
You hugged me!
407
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,956
Well, you'’re still supposed
to look at the road!
408
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,915
You could have waited
till a red light!
409
00:17:27,002 --> 00:17:29,570
Oh, so this is my fault?!Of course it'’s your fault!
410
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:38,187
Great party, Marjorie.
411
00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:39,493
Aw, wasn'’t it?
Thanks so much
412
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:40,798
for going to all this trouble.
413
00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:42,235
No trouble.
414
00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:44,106
Yeah, we were happy
to do it for you.
415
00:17:44,193 --> 00:17:46,239
Kind of surprised
Christy and Bonnie didn'’t come.
416
00:17:46,326 --> 00:17:47,240
Me, too.
417
00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:48,415
You invited them, right?
418
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:50,112
Wendy was supposed to call them.
419
00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:51,940
No, you told me
to call everybody
420
00:17:52,027 --> 00:17:54,377
at the Tuesday night meeting,
and don'’t forget the nuts.
421
00:17:54,464 --> 00:17:58,468
The nuts were
Bonnie and Christy.
422
00:17:58,555 --> 00:18:00,862
CHRISTY: Hope you'’re happy.BONNIE: Don'’t start with me.
423
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:03,560
CHRISTY:
How am I supposed to get to
work, take Roscoe to school?
424
00:18:03,647 --> 00:18:05,171
BONNIE:
Use my car.
425
00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:06,694
CHRISTY:
Your car is in an impound lot.
426
00:18:06,781 --> 00:18:07,956
BONNIE:
So we'’ll go get it.
427
00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:09,523
CHRISTY:
With what money?
428
00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:11,699
BONNIE:
Fine, I'’ll make some money!
429
00:18:11,786 --> 00:18:14,354
Anybody here want to have sex
with me and my daughter?!
430
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:21,839
I was joking.
431
00:18:21,926 --> 00:18:24,407
Yeah, real funny.
432
00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:30,587
You have any idea
where we are?
433
00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:32,285
Nope.
434
00:18:32,372 --> 00:18:34,461
Well, maybe we should call
someone to come get us.
435
00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:36,463
Who are we gonna
call, Mom?!
436
00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:38,117
Who? Who?!
437
00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:43,122
Truce?
438
00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:44,732
Never!
439
00:18:44,819 --> 00:18:47,778
You and I are at war
until the end of time.
440
00:18:51,565 --> 00:18:54,045
Come on.
441
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,135
Yeah, fine, truce.
442
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:03,142
It'’s what I do.
31624
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