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1
00:00:02,915 --> 00:00:05,092
You know, I don'’t really think
about drinking much anymore,
2
00:00:05,179 --> 00:00:06,702
but I got to tell you,
3
00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:08,921
I was on a date
last weekend, and... oof,
4
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,836
this girl was such a whack-job,
5
00:00:10,923 --> 00:00:12,664
it'’s a miracle
I didn'’t start shooting heroin
6
00:00:12,751 --> 00:00:14,144
before the salad showed up.
7
00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:15,754
[laughter]
8
00:00:15,841 --> 00:00:19,106
[quietly]: Hey, he'’s
talking about me!
9
00:00:19,193 --> 00:00:21,456
Even funnier.
10
00:00:22,631 --> 00:00:23,936
I mean, I think I spent
11
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,503
the entire night
listening to her complain
12
00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:27,201
about her nightmare of a mother.
13
00:00:27,288 --> 00:00:28,985
[laughs]
14
00:00:31,074 --> 00:00:33,816
LEE: I know we'’re not
supposed to judge anybody here,
15
00:00:33,903 --> 00:00:35,948
but whoever'’s sponsoring
this girl
16
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,299
isn'’t qualified
to sponsor a bowling team.
17
00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:43,608
Anyway, thanks.
18
00:00:45,784 --> 00:00:47,612
All right,
who'’d like to share next?
19
00:01:08,242 --> 00:01:11,071
Well, that'’s it. We are gonna
have to find a new meeting.
20
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,333
Shake it off.
21
00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:14,857
Shake it off? I was humiliated.
22
00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:17,207
Why would you talk
about me on your dates?
23
00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:22,604
I think they have a right
to know why I'’m so broken.
24
00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:26,564
The point is we can'’t
go back to that meeting.
25
00:01:26,651 --> 00:01:29,872
No, the point is don'’t
date men in the rooms.
26
00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:31,787
Where else am I
supposed to meet them?
27
00:01:31,874 --> 00:01:34,355
You told me not to screw around
at the restaurant.
28
00:01:34,442 --> 00:01:37,967
No, I told you stop sleeping
with your married boss.
29
00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:40,448
That still leaves you
30
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:43,842
all those single
dishwashers and busboys.
31
00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:46,106
That'’s tough;
they all live together.
32
00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:51,676
There'’s plenty of other
places to meet nice fellas.
33
00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:53,678
We should all
go out together.
34
00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:57,508
Your mom and I can
be your wing-gals.
35
00:01:57,595 --> 00:01:59,162
"Wing-gals"?
36
00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:01,164
Did I say it wrong?
37
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:03,558
Perfect.
38
00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:05,255
That'’s not a bad idea.
39
00:02:05,342 --> 00:02:07,257
How about tomorrow night?
40
00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,520
Roscoe'’s gonna be with his dad,
and Violet'’s gonna be...
41
00:02:09,607 --> 00:02:12,915
I don'’t know. Wherever she
tells me, it'’ll be a lie.
42
00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:15,047
Tomorrow'’s no good;
I have plans with your dad.
43
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,528
Oh. Okay.
44
00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:19,400
All right, Marjorie,
it'’s just us.
45
00:02:19,487 --> 00:02:21,402
No, honey,
it'’s just you.
46
00:02:21,489 --> 00:02:23,230
I have a date
with Victor.
47
00:02:23,317 --> 00:02:24,579
Who'’s Victor?
48
00:02:24,666 --> 00:02:26,189
Your old landlord,
Mr. Perugian.
49
00:02:28,017 --> 00:02:29,714
That'’s still happening?
50
00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:31,542
Yeah, kind of.
51
00:02:31,629 --> 00:02:33,544
He drove me to
chemo last Tuesday,
52
00:02:33,631 --> 00:02:37,026
so you might say
things are heating up.
53
00:02:38,506 --> 00:02:40,160
Hey, you could
still go out, though.
54
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,422
Call another friend.
55
00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:44,599
Yeah. Yeah, I'’ll do that.
56
00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:45,643
Who are you thinking?
57
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:47,036
I don'’t know.
58
00:02:47,123 --> 00:02:50,300
Phoebe, Monica, Rachel.
59
00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:56,611
Those were the girls
on Friends.
60
00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:58,700
Were they?
61
00:02:58,787 --> 00:03:01,006
That'’s weird.
62
00:03:01,093 --> 00:03:03,618
LEE: And then she tells me
she'’s a maitre d'’
63
00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:05,620
at this fancy restaurant
'’cause she'’s too embarrassed
64
00:03:05,707 --> 00:03:07,709
to say she'’s a waitress.
65
00:03:07,796 --> 00:03:09,624
Fine! We get it!
66
00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:11,278
I'’m a loser,
I'’m a liar,
67
00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:13,758
I'’m a whack-job!
68
00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:20,461
Okay, now we need to find
a new coffee shop.
69
00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:26,206
Roscoe leave?
70
00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:28,425
Yep. Baxter just
picked him up.
71
00:03:28,512 --> 00:03:30,166
Hey, you look nice.
72
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:31,167
Thank you.
73
00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:33,517
You look... comfortable.
74
00:03:33,604 --> 00:03:35,389
I am.
75
00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:37,521
I thought you were gonna get
out there and meet people.
76
00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:39,393
You know, I was,
77
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,091
but then I got to thinking,
I never have time to myself.
78
00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:43,701
I need to take advantage of it.
79
00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:46,095
So you'’re gonna masturbate.
80
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:51,796
I call it "making love."
81
00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,842
Okay, well, have fun.
82
00:03:53,929 --> 00:03:54,973
I will. You, too.
83
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:56,497
Christy?
Yeah?
84
00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:58,368
Keep it on your side of the bed.
85
00:04:02,851 --> 00:04:04,113
Okay.
86
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,115
A whole night to myself.
87
00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:09,161
[sighs]
88
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,990
I am all alone.
89
00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:16,560
♪ I'’m alone, I'’m alone ♪
90
00:04:16,647 --> 00:04:19,694
♪ I'’m alone ♪
91
00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:23,132
♪ But I'’m not lonely ♪
92
00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:26,483
♪ Hey, I'’m no phony ♪
93
00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:30,052
♪ '’Cause I'’m not lonely ♪
94
00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:32,794
♪ I'’m alone, I'’m alone,
I'’m alone ♪
95
00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:34,709
♪ But I'’m not lonely... ♪
96
00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:35,710
Mom.
97
00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:38,887
You'’re not alone.
98
00:04:40,715 --> 00:04:43,631
I am on the inside.
99
00:04:43,718 --> 00:04:45,372
See you later.
100
00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:46,373
Where you gonna be?
101
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:48,070
The library.
102
00:04:48,157 --> 00:04:50,464
Okay, just make sure
the library uses a condom.
103
00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:56,339
[sputters]
104
00:04:56,426 --> 00:04:58,341
Okay.
105
00:04:58,428 --> 00:05:00,561
I can do anything I want.
106
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:04,173
Question is: What to do first?
107
00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:08,220
[sighs]
108
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,962
Why does it take so long
when I'’m with a guy?
109
00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:17,012
This is delicious, Alvin.
110
00:05:17,099 --> 00:05:18,056
Thank you.
111
00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:19,536
When did you learn to cook?
112
00:05:19,623 --> 00:05:21,538
Couple years ago,
I took some classes.
113
00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,279
Really? What inspired that?
114
00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:25,368
My wife and I weren'’t
getting along real well,
115
00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:26,717
and I was hungry.
116
00:05:26,804 --> 00:05:27,718
[chuckles]
117
00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:31,069
Oh, you poor baby.
118
00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:32,419
Leave room for dessert.
119
00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:33,985
Ooh, what'’s that?
120
00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:36,423
Chilled whipped cream,
a sprig of mint
121
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:39,556
and my world-famous nuts.
122
00:05:42,211 --> 00:05:44,996
Then I should probably skip
these little potatoes.
123
00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:47,999
[phone vibrating]
124
00:05:48,086 --> 00:05:50,001
Excuse me.
125
00:05:50,088 --> 00:05:51,829
No.
126
00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:54,571
Why did a picture of Godzilla
just come up on your phone?
127
00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:56,399
The ex-wife.
128
00:05:56,486 --> 00:05:58,619
What picture
do you have of me?
129
00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:01,970
Well... how'’s that?
130
00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:04,015
BONNIE:
Aw.
131
00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:06,104
Go get the mint.
132
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:07,454
[phone vibrating]
133
00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:09,369
Whoa, Tokyo'’s
in trouble.
134
00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:11,501
If you need to answer it,
answer it.
You don'’t mind?
135
00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:12,894
It'’s fine. Go.Just be a minute.
136
00:06:12,981 --> 00:06:14,025
Okay.
137
00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:16,288
Lorraine, yeah.
138
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,029
Nothing, just
watching the game.
139
00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:20,728
[mouthing]
140
00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:23,034
What can I do for you?
141
00:06:23,121 --> 00:06:25,254
No.
142
00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:27,474
It'’s not my house anymore,
which means it'’s not my roof,
143
00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:29,563
which means it'’s
not my leak.
144
00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,565
No, I can'’t come
there right now.
145
00:06:31,652 --> 00:06:32,957
No, I'’m not
with anybody.
146
00:06:33,044 --> 00:06:35,830
I told you, I'’m
watching the game.
147
00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:38,833
Seven to nothing.
148
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,791
I got to go.
149
00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:42,924
I'’ll e-mail you the
number of the roofer.
150
00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:45,100
Good-bye.
151
00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:47,102
So sorry about that.
152
00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:55,502
Sorry about that.
153
00:06:55,589 --> 00:06:57,634
No, it'’s fine, no worries.
154
00:06:57,721 --> 00:07:00,332
So how are you enjoying
being a building manager?
155
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,378
Well, what'’s not to enjoy?
156
00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:05,337
We live rent-free,
and 67 people think of me
157
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,817
every time
they successfully flush.
158
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:11,518
Why did you tell Godzilla
you were alone?
159
00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:13,084
Lorraine?
160
00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:14,303
Why stir the pot?
161
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:16,348
I get that.
162
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,307
Does she know
we'’re seeing each other?
163
00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:22,442
Again, the pot, a
desire not to stir.
164
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:24,356
Oh, my God.
165
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,707
I'’m like some dirty little whore
you keep on the side.
166
00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:27,708
Bonnie, no.
167
00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:29,753
Relax. I like it.
168
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:36,630
♪ I'’m alone, I'’m alone,
I'’m alone, I'’m alone ♪
169
00:07:36,717 --> 00:07:39,415
♪ But I'’m not lonely ♪
170
00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:42,244
♪ '’Cause I'’m doing lone-dree ♪
171
00:07:42,331 --> 00:07:45,334
♪ Yeah, I'’m not lonely... ♪
172
00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:46,335
Hello.
173
00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:48,337
Oh.
174
00:07:48,424 --> 00:07:50,905
Hello.
175
00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:52,820
You mind if I join you?
176
00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:54,909
Do you know the words?
177
00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:58,086
Pretty much
"lonely, lonely, lonely," right?
178
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,350
Pretty much.
179
00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:06,834
Andy Dreeson, 2B.
180
00:08:06,921 --> 00:08:09,401
Christy Plunkett, 1B.
181
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,925
Oh, so I'’m on top of you.
182
00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:13,971
Well, let'’s see
how the laundry goes.
183
00:08:15,103 --> 00:08:16,191
All righty.
184
00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:20,630
Well, I know why I'’m doing
laundry on a Saturday night,
185
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:23,024
but why is a beautiful woman
like you here?
186
00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:24,852
Oh, please.
187
00:08:24,939 --> 00:08:26,810
Beautiful.
188
00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:31,641
Just I'’m having
a little quality me time.
189
00:08:33,861 --> 00:08:36,298
Well, if you like,
I can do my laundry later.
190
00:08:36,385 --> 00:08:38,692
No, no, that'’s fine.You sure?
191
00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:40,476
Oh, yeah.
192
00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:42,304
I'’ve had enough me time.
193
00:08:42,391 --> 00:08:44,262
In fact, I'’m kind of sick of me.
194
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:49,790
So you got anything exciting
to wash tonight?
195
00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:50,921
Um, not really.
196
00:08:51,008 --> 00:08:52,532
Mostly just underwear.
197
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,055
Boxer man, huh?
198
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:55,970
Yeah, ever since I was a kid.
199
00:08:56,057 --> 00:08:57,972
I tried the tighty-whities
for a while,
200
00:08:58,059 --> 00:08:59,669
but then I came back
to the boxers
201
00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:01,497
because I really like
that extra ventilation...
202
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:03,934
Oh, God, why couldn'’t I have
just said yes?
203
00:09:05,153 --> 00:09:06,850
I'’m a rambler, too.
204
00:09:06,937 --> 00:09:09,723
I tend to go on and on.
I never know when to shut up.
205
00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:11,289
It'’s like my brain and my mouth
206
00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:13,248
have separate agendas
and I just...
207
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,297
Oh, boy.What?
208
00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:21,952
You'’re about to see
a Batman T-shirt.
209
00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:25,042
Okay, and I just want you to
know that this was a gag gift.
210
00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:26,566
Got it.
211
00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:28,263
[imitates Batman]:
And I fight crime.
212
00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:37,141
You like your dessert?
213
00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:38,316
It'’s okay.
214
00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:39,666
What'’s wrong?
215
00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:42,799
I was promised
your world-famous nuts.
216
00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:44,018
[both laugh]
217
00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:47,064
I have never
loved you more.
218
00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:48,892
What do you say we take
this in the other room?
219
00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:50,720
Mmm.
220
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:52,504
Let me just freshen up.
221
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,506
Hurry.
222
00:10:01,818 --> 00:10:04,038
[knocking]
223
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,040
Who the hell is this?
224
00:10:08,216 --> 00:10:10,131
Lorraine?
Hello, Alvin.
225
00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:12,263
I want to apologize
for being such a bitch.
226
00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:14,483
Like, today or always?
227
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,488
You tell me.
228
00:10:19,575 --> 00:10:21,098
What the hell
are you doing?
229
00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:23,448
Ready for a little sex
with the ex?
230
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:26,887
All right,
let'’s bring on those nuts.
231
00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:33,633
Okay, before anybody overreacts,
232
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,897
let'’s consider
the possibilities.
233
00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:46,863
I should go.
234
00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:48,473
This is the game
you were watching?
235
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:49,953
You'’re drunk; I'’m
gonna take you home.
236
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,868
Oh, I am not drunk.
237
00:10:51,955 --> 00:10:54,088
Then why are you dressed
like a magician'’s assistant?
238
00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:59,659
Nobody asked you,
home-wrecker bitch whore.
239
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:03,401
I am not a home wrecker.
240
00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:05,839
What'’d you think,
you could crawl back
241
00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:08,537
after all these years
and just get him back?
242
00:11:08,624 --> 00:11:10,539
What do you care?
You threw him away.
243
00:11:10,626 --> 00:11:13,107
And it looks to me like you'’re
the one doing the crawling.
244
00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:14,412
That'’s enough.
245
00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:15,457
I'’m taking you home,
Lorraine.
246
00:11:15,544 --> 00:11:16,501
I'’ll be right back.
247
00:11:16,588 --> 00:11:17,851
Get her a cab.
248
00:11:17,938 --> 00:11:19,635
She'’s the mother
of my children.
249
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:22,159
Hey, I'’m the mother
of one of your children, too.
250
00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:26,598
But at least he doesn'’t refer
to my children as a mistake.
251
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,166
You called Christy a mistake?
252
00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:31,038
Bonnie... wait.
253
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:32,996
It'’s not that simple.
254
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,657
Well... she'’sa little
high-maintenance.
255
00:11:44,486 --> 00:11:47,576
BOTH:
♪ I'’m alone, I'’m alone,
I'’m alone, I'’m alone ♪
256
00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:50,579
♪ But I'’m not lonely... ♪
257
00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:52,407
Doesn'’t really work as a duet.
258
00:11:52,494 --> 00:11:53,843
No, it doesn'’t.
259
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:55,758
Would you like
a glass of wine?
260
00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:57,629
Oh, just some water'’s fine.
261
00:11:58,761 --> 00:11:59,936
Your place is great.
262
00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:01,851
Oh, thanks. [chuckles]
263
00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:04,724
I wish I could take the credit,
but it was my ex who decorated.
264
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:07,727
Oh, breakup, huh?
Sorry. Was it recent?
265
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,032
About a year ago.
266
00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:10,468
That'’s great.
267
00:12:10,555 --> 00:12:12,862
I mean...
268
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:15,647
that you'’re over the hard part.
269
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,475
Yeah, we just wanted
270
00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:19,260
different things.
271
00:12:19,347 --> 00:12:21,262
Let me guess--
she wanted a commitment,
272
00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:23,438
and you wanted
to keep your options open?
273
00:12:23,525 --> 00:12:24,918
No, I wanted to settle down.
274
00:12:26,006 --> 00:12:27,921
Let me get you
a coaster.
275
00:12:28,008 --> 00:12:30,662
[mouthing]
276
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,795
You have a dog?
277
00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:37,234
Uh, no. I volunteer
for a rescue society,
278
00:12:37,321 --> 00:12:39,193
so sometimes I foster
the little guys
279
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:40,977
until they find
a permanent home.
280
00:12:41,064 --> 00:12:43,414
Oh. That'’s so sweet.
281
00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:45,286
Uh, please don'’t tell
the building manager.
282
00:12:48,506 --> 00:12:50,595
Don'’t worry. I'’ve
been keeping secrets
283
00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:52,946
from the building
manager my whole life.
284
00:12:54,469 --> 00:12:56,210
Do you mind
if I put on some music?
285
00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:58,865
Sure.
286
00:12:58,952 --> 00:13:01,171
[polka music playing]
287
00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:03,783
Sorry, just messing
with you.
288
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:07,308
Yet it'’s still on your iPod.
289
00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:09,440
[soft jazz playing]Better?
290
00:13:09,527 --> 00:13:11,355
Better.
291
00:13:11,442 --> 00:13:13,836
♪
292
00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:16,056
So, Andy...
293
00:13:16,143 --> 00:13:18,536
what do you do when
you'’re not doing laundry?
294
00:13:18,623 --> 00:13:21,365
Oh, well, uh, do you know
Delforno Wines?
295
00:13:21,452 --> 00:13:23,803
[sighs]:
Oh, I used to.
296
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:26,066
I'’m their in-house
accountant.
297
00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:27,284
Well, that'’s interesting.
298
00:13:27,371 --> 00:13:28,285
No, it'’s not.
299
00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:30,200
No, it'’s not.
300
00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:31,549
What do you do?
301
00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:33,029
I'’m in the
restaurant business.
302
00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:34,509
I own a place downtown.
303
00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:36,206
Oh, well...
Nope. I'’m lying.
304
00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:38,252
I'’m just a maitre d'’.Well, I mean...
305
00:13:38,339 --> 00:13:40,036
Lying again.
I'’m a waitress.
306
00:13:41,211 --> 00:13:42,691
You done?
307
00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:45,955
Yeah.
308
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:49,002
That'’s my final answer.
309
00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:52,309
Well, I think waitressing
is an honorable profession.
310
00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:53,833
Thank you.
311
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,617
♪
312
00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:58,881
This turned out to be a pretty
good Saturday night, huh?
313
00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:01,101
It did, didn'’t it?
314
00:14:01,188 --> 00:14:02,667
Pretty unexpected.
315
00:14:02,754 --> 00:14:03,886
Yeah.
316
00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:05,714
You like the unexpected?
317
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:07,542
I do...
318
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:10,980
like to think of myself
as adventurous.
319
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:13,113
Me, too.
320
00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:16,551
I'’m really glad I met you.
321
00:14:16,638 --> 00:14:18,814
Glad I met you, too.
322
00:14:20,424 --> 00:14:22,122
Excuse me, I,
uh, need to...
323
00:14:22,209 --> 00:14:23,297
Uh, down the hall.
324
00:14:23,384 --> 00:14:25,255
I'’ll be right back.
325
00:14:26,691 --> 00:14:28,258
Hey...
326
00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:30,782
totally hypothetical question:
You like kids?
327
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,784
No.Oh.
328
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:33,785
I love them.
329
00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:37,354
Oh.
330
00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:39,052
Don'’t move.
331
00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:46,886
Something'’s got
to be wrong with you.
332
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:49,366
Let'’s see what'’s going on here.
333
00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:51,803
No antibiotics.
Good start.
334
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:55,503
Oh. Chewable vitamins.
Adorable.
335
00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:58,506
No antidepressants,
no anti-anxieties, no ointments.
336
00:14:58,593 --> 00:14:59,942
Unbelievable.
337
00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:01,988
I'’m getting married.
338
00:15:10,474 --> 00:15:14,609
All right, let'’s check out
the honeymoon suite.
339
00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:24,227
And the wedding'’s off.
340
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,534
ANDY:
Do you like what you see?
341
00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:31,495
Andy!
342
00:15:31,582 --> 00:15:33,889
Look at you!
343
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:36,196
What'’s happening now?
344
00:15:37,806 --> 00:15:40,200
You said you liked
to be adventurous.
345
00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:43,551
Yeah. But I
meant, like...
346
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:45,945
pancakes for dinner.
347
00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:48,643
Here, hold my leash
348
00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:50,906
and tell me what to do
in a firm voice.
349
00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:55,911
Okay, um...
350
00:15:55,998 --> 00:15:57,957
be normal.
351
00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:01,830
I-I... I get it.
352
00:16:01,917 --> 00:16:03,788
Uh...
353
00:16:03,875 --> 00:16:05,790
how about, sit.
354
00:16:06,922 --> 00:16:08,924
Andy, sit!
355
00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:13,407
Good boy.
356
00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:15,148
Now stay.
357
00:16:16,149 --> 00:16:17,019
I said stay!
358
00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:23,460
♪ I'’m alone, I'’m alone,
I'’m alone ♪
359
00:16:23,547 --> 00:16:25,680
♪ But I'’m not murdered. ♪
360
00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:29,989
[whines]:
Oh.
361
00:16:39,694 --> 00:16:41,043
What?
362
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:44,655
Christy, are you
still masturbating?
363
00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:47,354
Quiet.
364
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:51,488
What the hell is going on?
365
00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:54,361
We have to find a
new place to live.
366
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:55,579
What? Why?
367
00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:57,407
You know the guy
up in 2B?
368
00:16:57,494 --> 00:16:59,235
Dog boy? What about him?
369
00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:00,715
You knew?
370
00:17:00,802 --> 00:17:02,586
Yeah. He brings me the paper
sometimes.
371
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:07,461
Okay, well, I almost
made out with him.
372
00:17:07,548 --> 00:17:09,289
Yeah? So?
373
00:17:09,376 --> 00:17:11,552
What do you mean,
"Yeah? So?"
374
00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:13,249
Well, you could do worse.
375
00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:14,859
And chances are,
he'’s probably pretty loyal.
376
00:17:15,904 --> 00:17:17,514
This isn'’t funny!
377
00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:20,474
I'’m gonna have to see
him all the time now.
378
00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:22,824
You'’ll be fine. Just keep
some treats in your pocket.
379
00:17:23,955 --> 00:17:25,914
[knocking]
380
00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:27,481
Oh, God.
381
00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:32,703
[exhales]
It'’s Dad.
382
00:17:32,790 --> 00:17:35,271
Oh, God.
Tell him I'’m not here.
383
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:40,015
Where is she?
384
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:43,018
Um... she'’s not here.
385
00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:44,715
[mouthing]
386
00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:46,152
Hey, Dad?
387
00:17:46,239 --> 00:17:47,196
Yeah?
388
00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:49,459
Whose side should I be on?
389
00:17:49,546 --> 00:17:51,461
Hers.
390
00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:52,941
Damn!
391
00:17:55,248 --> 00:17:57,119
[scratching on door]
392
00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:06,694
[knocking]
393
00:18:06,781 --> 00:18:08,435
Can we talk?
394
00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:10,045
What'’s to talk about?
395
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:12,221
You called our
daughter a mistake.
396
00:18:12,308 --> 00:18:13,918
What I said
to my then-wife,
397
00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:16,051
who was throwing me
out of my house,
398
00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:19,924
was that you and I having a baby
when we were kids was a mistake.
399
00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:21,839
And you believe that?Yeah, I do.
400
00:18:21,926 --> 00:18:24,712
We were broke. We were living
in a Winnebago up on blocks.
401
00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:26,148
But that was then.
402
00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:27,715
Now that I'’ve gotten
to know Christy,
403
00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:29,456
I realize having her
404
00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:31,980
was the best thing
you and I ever did.
405
00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:39,379
You know your wife'’s
still in love with you.
406
00:18:39,466 --> 00:18:42,556
What can I say?
I'’m catnip to the ladies.
407
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:48,431
You sure it'’s over?It'’s over for me.
408
00:18:50,868 --> 00:18:54,176
In what world do you have
two women fighting over you?
409
00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:56,352
[laughs]:
A great world.
410
00:19:02,532 --> 00:19:04,839
I'’m nowhere near as crazy
as Lorraine, right?
411
00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:07,058
[chuckles]: No, no,
not even close.
412
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,496
Good. '’Cause I would'’ve set
you on fire if you'’d said yes.
413
00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:19,070
Hi. Welcome to Wednesday'’s
414
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,463
St. Luke'’s meeting
of Alcoholics Anonymous.
415
00:19:20,550 --> 00:19:21,769
I'’m Carla.
I'’m an alcoholic.
416
00:19:21,856 --> 00:19:23,162
OTHERS:
Hi, Carla.
417
00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:24,598
I can'’t believe
we drove 20 miles
418
00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:26,295
all because you'’re
too much of a wimp
419
00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:27,818
to go to our
regular meeting.
420
00:19:27,905 --> 00:19:29,255
I'’m sorry. That guy
embarrassed me.
421
00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:30,734
I don'’t want to
go back there.
422
00:19:30,821 --> 00:19:32,432
You need to learn
to stand your ground.
423
00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:34,042
Don'’t let anybody
run you off.
424
00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:37,480
Yeah, yeah. I wish
I was strong like you.
425
00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:40,004
Anyone new to A.A.
here tonight?
426
00:19:40,091 --> 00:19:41,745
Hi. I'’m Lorraine.
I'’m an alcoholic.
427
00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:43,486
We'’re out of here.
29012
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