Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,393 --> 00:00:03,873
Previously onMom...
2
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:06,093
I got a job.For money?
3
00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:07,485
Even better.
4
00:00:07,572 --> 00:00:08,704
[keys jingling]
5
00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:12,012
They'’re paying you in keys?
6
00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:14,536
No, I'’m managing
an apartment building.
7
00:00:14,623 --> 00:00:16,538
They'’re paying me
with a free apartment.
8
00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:18,801
We have a home.
9
00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:20,411
Oh, Mom!
10
00:00:20,498 --> 00:00:21,978
That'’s incredible!
11
00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:24,154
I know![both laughing]
12
00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:25,764
Wait, wait.
13
00:00:25,851 --> 00:00:27,331
Do you know how to manage
an apartment building?
14
00:00:27,418 --> 00:00:30,247
I do not.
15
00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:32,423
You know, I'’m thinking
somewhere down the road,
16
00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:34,512
we buy a nice fold-out couch
for the living room.
17
00:00:34,599 --> 00:00:35,731
You'’ll be a lot
more comfortable.
18
00:00:35,818 --> 00:00:37,254
Wait, what?
19
00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:38,995
I thought you were sleeping
on the couch.
20
00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:40,866
Oh, you'’re adorable.
21
00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,653
I found the apartment.
I get the master.
22
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:46,133
Yeah, but...I saved us.
23
00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:47,351
I know, it'’s just...
24
00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:48,613
After you put us
out on the street.
25
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:50,746
Yeah, but I...But what?
26
00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:55,185
But I don'’t want
to sleep on the couch.
27
00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:56,882
You want to swap with Roscoe?
28
00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:59,711
No. That'’s a closet.
29
00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:01,713
Well, I don'’t know
what choice we have.
30
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,715
We certainly can'’t sleep
in the same bed together.
31
00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:06,414
Why not? I'’m tiny.
32
00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:10,722
What happens when one of us
has a gentleman caller?
33
00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:13,377
Well, Blanche Dubois,
34
00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:15,945
one of us can sleep
on the couch then.
35
00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:17,903
I guess that can work.
36
00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:19,644
We will need
some kind of signal.
37
00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:22,299
You mean like a
sock on the door?
38
00:01:22,386 --> 00:01:24,171
Yeah, but classier.
39
00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:25,998
A sock wearing a top hat?
40
00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:32,048
How about this beer cozy?
41
00:01:32,135 --> 00:01:33,919
Yeah, I guess that'’ll work.
42
00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:36,574
Yeah. It'’s like it'’s having sex
with the doorknob.
43
00:01:59,902 --> 00:02:01,295
Morning.Morning.
44
00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:03,166
What you doing?
45
00:02:03,253 --> 00:02:04,689
I'’m trying to figure
out how to fix
46
00:02:04,776 --> 00:02:06,517
a coin-operated washing
machine on YouTube.
47
00:02:06,604 --> 00:02:08,389
Any luck?
48
00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:09,868
No, but look.
49
00:02:09,955 --> 00:02:13,263
A monkey playing
harmonica.
50
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:15,222
[harmonica playing]
51
00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:21,358
Holy mackerel!
52
00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:22,794
He'’s actually
playing the blues.
53
00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:25,536
Yeah, he'’s obviously
known sadness.
54
00:02:25,623 --> 00:02:26,537
[doorbell rings]
55
00:02:26,624 --> 00:02:27,886
I'’ll get it.
56
00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:29,845
Who hurt you, little monkey?
57
00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:33,631
Roscoe, your dad'’s here!
58
00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:35,590
Get a move on!
59
00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:39,855
Hey! Nice place.
60
00:02:39,942 --> 00:02:40,899
Thanks.
61
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:42,379
Look at you all cleaned up.
62
00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:44,164
Court date?
63
00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:45,730
There'’s no court on Saturday.
64
00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:47,863
You know that.
65
00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:49,734
Come on in.
66
00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:53,216
So... what'’s with the...
67
00:02:53,303 --> 00:02:56,263
new haircut and
big boy clothes?
68
00:02:56,350 --> 00:03:00,005
Well, uh, Candace
bought me this stuff.
69
00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:01,224
Very nice.
70
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:03,922
What'’s a "Candace"?
71
00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:06,751
She'’s a girl I'’m living with.
72
00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:08,013
You'’re living with somebody?
73
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:10,102
Why didn'’t you tell me?
74
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,800
Well, you were
kind of homeless for a while,
75
00:03:11,887 --> 00:03:14,672
and I didn'’t want you to think
I was showing off.
76
00:03:14,759 --> 00:03:16,761
That'’s amazing.
77
00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:18,372
Good for you.
78
00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:19,851
Gets better!
She got me this sweet gig
79
00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:21,723
selling cars
at her dad'’s dealership.
80
00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:24,813
Hang on.
You have a legitimate job?
81
00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:27,511
Yeah, the cars are easy to sell,
too, '’cause they'’re from Korea,
82
00:03:27,598 --> 00:03:31,254
which I'’m sure you know
is the new Japan.
83
00:03:31,341 --> 00:03:33,735
What about your pot business?
84
00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:35,476
Ah, well...
85
00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:38,609
Candace decided I didn'’t want
to do that anymore.
86
00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:40,524
But it'’s cool
87
00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:42,265
'’cause I love selling cars.
88
00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:43,745
They'’re even talking
about sending me to Seoul
89
00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:45,616
for a management program.
90
00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:46,922
Seoul?
Yeah.
91
00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:49,751
I think it'’s in Korea.
92
00:03:49,838 --> 00:03:51,405
Oh, check this out.
93
00:03:51,492 --> 00:03:54,538
Kimchi.
94
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,279
What'’s it mean?
95
00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:57,672
"Pickled cabbage."
I'’m told it comes up
96
00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:59,021
more often than you'’d think.
97
00:03:59,108 --> 00:04:00,631
Yeah.
98
00:04:00,718 --> 00:04:02,981
Hey, Dad!
Want to see my new room?
99
00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:05,462
No, no. You can show him later.
100
00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:07,551
You guys get
out of here.
101
00:04:07,638 --> 00:04:08,857
Go have fun.
102
00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:10,075
Okay.
103
00:04:10,162 --> 00:04:12,687
Baxter, wait.
104
00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:15,690
This woman, Candace, if she'’s
gonna be around Roscoe,
105
00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:17,779
I think I should meet her.
106
00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:19,563
Of course.
I'’ll set it up.
107
00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:21,522
In the meantime,
108
00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:25,395
this is a brochure
for our new hatchback.
109
00:04:25,482 --> 00:04:27,832
It'’s perfect for
hauling kids,
110
00:04:27,919 --> 00:04:30,400
hauling groceries
and hauling ass.
111
00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:32,359
Thanks.
112
00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:34,926
But my ass can'’t afford it.
113
00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:36,667
Come on, zero down.
114
00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:39,017
No payments
for 12 months.
115
00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:41,803
Kind of like you
and child support.
116
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,805
Okay, bye!
117
00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,027
What happened to him?
118
00:04:49,114 --> 00:04:51,508
Apparently, he has
a new girlfriend,
119
00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:53,641
a new home and a new job.
120
00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:54,685
Fantastic.
121
00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:56,165
Yeah, I'’m happy for him.
122
00:04:56,252 --> 00:04:57,166
You don'’t sound happy.
123
00:04:57,253 --> 00:04:59,168
Well, I am!
124
00:05:01,213 --> 00:05:03,781
Tell me again how you finagled
your way into this job.
125
00:05:03,868 --> 00:05:07,045
There was no finagling.
Just a straight-out lie.
126
00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:09,221
So, you told them
you were a handyman?
127
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,223
Told them I was
an aircraft mechanic.
128
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,356
This was a step down
for First Lieutenant Plunkett.
129
00:05:15,619 --> 00:05:17,621
Do you remember when we were
broke and you conned your way
130
00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:19,580
into teaching
at that Catholic high school?
131
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:21,712
Oh, yeah. All I needed was
a Halloween costume
132
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:24,324
and a willingness
to hit kids with a ruler.
133
00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:27,805
So what'’s the plan?
134
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,372
You'’re gonna call me
every time something breaks?
135
00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:31,026
Pretty much.
136
00:05:31,113 --> 00:05:32,723
Hand me the Phillips.
137
00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:36,553
And what do I get
out of this deal?
138
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,512
You get to help
your daughter and grandchildren
139
00:05:38,599 --> 00:05:40,165
keep a roof over their heads.
140
00:05:40,252 --> 00:05:43,212
Yeah, what else you got?
141
00:05:43,299 --> 00:05:45,736
What'’d you have in mind?
142
00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:47,129
Don'’t play coy.
143
00:05:47,216 --> 00:05:50,437
I know you'’re staring
at my ass crack.
144
00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:53,222
That'’s '’cause it'’s a lot hairier
than I remember it being.
145
00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:57,531
Turn on the machine.
Let'’s see what we got.
146
00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:02,274
Hey! You fixed it.
Yeah.
147
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,669
These hands are good at making
old things come to life.
148
00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:08,280
You want to try that again?
149
00:06:09,673 --> 00:06:11,109
Very much so.
150
00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:13,416
You look beautiful.
151
00:06:13,503 --> 00:06:15,375
Better.Mm.
152
00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:19,379
Hold on.
153
00:06:23,339 --> 00:06:25,210
Better.
154
00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:33,262
Nice.
155
00:06:33,349 --> 00:06:34,306
Sorry.Sorry.
156
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,960
No, no. Keep going.
157
00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:39,747
I'’m an old man with no cable TV.
158
00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:41,270
That'’s okay.
159
00:06:41,357 --> 00:06:42,184
You the new super?
160
00:06:42,271 --> 00:06:44,099
Actually, I am.
161
00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:45,274
Really?
162
00:06:45,361 --> 00:06:48,451
You'’re very attractive.
163
00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:50,105
Thank you.
164
00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:52,063
You see, that'’s how you make
a lady feel special.
165
00:06:54,065 --> 00:06:57,329
So, is this a serious
thing between you two?
166
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,287
Well, we'’re working on it...
167
00:06:58,374 --> 00:07:00,202
I'’m not talking to you.
168
00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:05,033
I'’m talking to Legs.
169
00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:08,732
I'’ll see you around.
170
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:11,605
Oh, uh,
Jack Bumgartner, 1F.
171
00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:14,608
You have the key.
172
00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:16,610
Hey, I'’m right here.
173
00:07:16,697 --> 00:07:18,350
For now.
174
00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:23,443
Enjoy your meal.
175
00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,838
Good evening.
Welcome to the...
176
00:07:27,925 --> 00:07:29,449
Aw, hell no!
177
00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:33,627
You said you wanted to
meet my new girlfriend.
178
00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:34,976
Ta-da.
179
00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:36,760
Christy, Candace.
Candace, Christy.
180
00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:38,066
Is this awkward?
181
00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:39,589
Because we could
move to another table.
182
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:41,025
No, no, no. This is fine.
183
00:07:41,112 --> 00:07:42,331
Nice to meet you.
184
00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:43,985
Aw, same here.
185
00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:45,639
You know, Baxter'’s told me
186
00:07:45,726 --> 00:07:47,902
all about how you'’ve turned
your life around.
187
00:07:47,989 --> 00:07:50,382
Good for you.
188
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,560
I think you guys are
gonna be best friends.
189
00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:56,171
We'’re certainly off
to a great start.
190
00:07:57,346 --> 00:07:58,521
Hey, how'’s it going?
191
00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:00,349
Candace bought me new clothes.
192
00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:02,177
Yeah, I noticed.
193
00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:03,613
No one'’s owned them before.
194
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:06,703
I'’m the first person
to wear them.
195
00:08:06,790 --> 00:08:09,010
Don'’t get used to it.
196
00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:11,229
So, Christy,
197
00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:13,362
I hear you just moved
into a new apartment.
198
00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:15,538
Yeah, we'’re really
excited about it.
199
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,932
I live in the closet.
200
00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:23,198
Why don'’t we get you some bread?
201
00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:24,808
MAN:
Excuse me, miss?
202
00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:26,984
Not now!
203
00:08:27,071 --> 00:08:30,074
Yeah, baby.
204
00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:32,381
Spank that tushy.
205
00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:33,817
[smacking]
206
00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:36,472
Ooh.
207
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,256
[knocking]
208
00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:40,258
Damn.
209
00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:47,396
What?Sorry to bother you, I just...
210
00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:48,745
I needed to talk to somebody.
211
00:08:48,832 --> 00:08:49,964
Come on.
212
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:51,269
Thanks.
213
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:53,881
So, I was just
with my ex and...
214
00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:56,884
Oh, whoa, what the hell
are you watching?
215
00:08:56,971 --> 00:08:58,799
Man-on-man porn.
216
00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:01,845
So, what about your ex?
217
00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:04,456
[stammers]
218
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,067
He-he was helping me
fix a washing machine,
219
00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:07,938
and we started making out and...
220
00:09:08,025 --> 00:09:10,550
I'’m sorry.
This does it for you?
221
00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:12,552
I like the sausage party.
222
00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:16,860
Go on.
223
00:09:16,947 --> 00:09:17,861
Um...
224
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,387
Okay. Uh, so we hadn'’t
seen each other
225
00:09:22,474 --> 00:09:24,955
in-in a few years, and
after his heart attack,
226
00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:26,566
we kind of reconciled and...
227
00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:29,133
uh, old feelings
started up and...
228
00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:30,613
Can you just
turn this off?
229
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:33,137
There'’s too many balls.
230
00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:36,053
That'’s actually
the name of this one.
231
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:40,971
Anyway, uh,
long story short,
232
00:09:41,058 --> 00:09:43,104
we almost had sex
this afternoon.
233
00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:45,193
It didn'’t happen, but
he'’s coming over later,
234
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:49,066
and we both know why, and
it'’s kind of messing me up.
235
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:51,634
Oh, you still have
feelings for him.
236
00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:53,070
Of course I do.
237
00:09:53,157 --> 00:09:54,202
I don'’t know.
It'’s complicated.
238
00:09:54,289 --> 00:09:55,246
Where are the cats?
239
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:56,596
I put them in the bedroom.
240
00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:58,902
I don'’t like them to see
this side of me.
241
00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:03,646
I'’m not crazy about
seeing it, either.
242
00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:06,475
Okay, look, do you want
a relationship with this man?
243
00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:07,607
Yeah.
244
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:09,173
I-I guess. I-I...
245
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:11,175
I'’m just afraid of
getting hurt again.
246
00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:13,700
Well, that'’s understandable.
247
00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:15,745
So, have you considered
not having sex with him
248
00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:17,486
until you see
where this is going?
249
00:10:17,573 --> 00:10:19,357
Is that a real thing?
250
00:10:19,444 --> 00:10:22,622
Yes, it'’s a real thing.
251
00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:25,189
Hmm. It doesn'’t
sound right.
252
00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:28,236
Bonnie, your whole life--
you met a guy,
253
00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:30,281
you like the guy,
you sleep with the guy.
254
00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:32,544
I didn'’t always
like them.
255
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:36,070
Okay, a good definition of
insanity is doing the same thing
256
00:10:36,157 --> 00:10:38,725
over and over again, and
expecting a different result.
257
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:41,205
But what if I do the same
thing just one more time?
258
00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:42,729
You know, just in
case it'’s different.
259
00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:45,732
Okay, fine.
260
00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:49,344
So, what do I do with
the, you know, urges?
261
00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:56,351
[sexy music playing]
262
00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:09,190
Sorry.
263
00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:10,757
I thought maybe
you bailed on me.
264
00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:12,628
No, I just had
to visit a sick friend.
265
00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:14,325
Oh, no. What'’s wrong with her?
266
00:11:14,412 --> 00:11:16,197
Well, she has cancer, but
that'’s not really the problem.
267
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,462
Come on in.
268
00:11:22,594 --> 00:11:24,118
Everybody is
out and about?
269
00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:25,641
Yep.
270
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:28,775
Just you and me.
Great.
271
00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:32,517
Oh, got us some
non-alcoholic sparkling cider,
272
00:11:32,604 --> 00:11:35,869
in case we want to,
I don'’t know, get bloated.
273
00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:41,265
Oh. Why don'’t we
open this later.
274
00:11:41,352 --> 00:11:43,311
Yeah.
275
00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:45,095
So...
276
00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:47,097
So...
277
00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:50,666
Here we are.
278
00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:53,408
Yes.
279
00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,023
I'’m a little nervous.
280
00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:01,372
Me, too.
281
00:12:03,853 --> 00:12:07,639
It'’s weird, '’cause it'’s not
like any part of me'’s a virgin.
282
00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:14,777
Friend of mine thinks
283
00:12:14,864 --> 00:12:16,518
I shouldn'’t hop in
the sack with you.
284
00:12:16,605 --> 00:12:17,780
What do you think?
285
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:19,216
I think I should
get a new friend.
286
00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:22,393
Oh, no.
287
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,352
Wash him, he'’s dirty.
288
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:27,834
[knocking]
289
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:33,840
I slip in the shower,
no one comes over.
290
00:12:36,146 --> 00:12:37,582
What?
291
00:12:37,669 --> 00:12:40,281
Sorry. I know it'’s late.
292
00:12:40,368 --> 00:12:43,371
I just had a really rough night,
and I needed to talk to you.
293
00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:44,676
Come on in.
294
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,722
You will not believe it.
295
00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:49,899
But my ex brings Roscoe
and his new girlfriend
296
00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:53,207
over to the restaurant,
and I have to serve...
297
00:12:53,294 --> 00:12:55,992
Holy crap.
298
00:12:56,079 --> 00:12:58,429
Look at the size
of that thing.
299
00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:01,432
Yeah. Yeah, that'’s big.
300
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:04,087
So, your ex comes
into the restaurant, and...?
301
00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:07,482
And he'’s dating
this Candace woman,
302
00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:09,266
who'’s got a lot of money.
303
00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:11,399
She'’s cleaned him up,
got him a good job.
304
00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:13,270
So, what'’s the problem?
305
00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:15,969
I am trying so hard.
306
00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:18,580
I quit drinking,
I'’m going to meetings.
307
00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:20,974
Where'’s my Candace?!
308
00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:23,715
You want a woman with money
to take care of you?
309
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:27,415
No.
310
00:13:27,502 --> 00:13:31,201
I mean... I'’m flexible.
311
00:13:31,288 --> 00:13:33,377
You want my advice?
312
00:13:33,464 --> 00:13:34,988
Get over it.
313
00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:36,772
If he'’s doing better,
it'’s good for your son,
314
00:13:36,859 --> 00:13:38,948
it'’s good for you,
it'’s good for everybody.
315
00:13:39,035 --> 00:13:41,385
Wait, but you haven'’t even
heard the worst of it.
316
00:13:41,472 --> 00:13:43,083
When they left the restaurant,
317
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:47,609
his girlfriend hugs me
and leaves me a huge tip.
318
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:48,958
That cow.
319
00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:50,786
Right?
320
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:53,833
Listen, I told you
what to do--
321
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,879
you do it, don'’t do it,
just get out.
322
00:13:56,966 --> 00:13:58,620
Thanks for listening.
323
00:13:58,707 --> 00:14:01,623
Mm-hmm.
324
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,146
Where are the cats?
325
00:14:03,233 --> 00:14:04,756
They died. Now, get out.
326
00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:14,375
I was just thinking--
327
00:14:14,462 --> 00:14:16,768
the last time we were
together like this,
328
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,423
I had an afro
and mutton-chop sideburns.
329
00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:21,730
And yet I still
slept with you.
330
00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:22,862
[chuckles]
331
00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:26,343
I missed this.
332
00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:28,215
Me, too.
333
00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:34,090
35 years go by,
and it'’s like nothing'’s changed.
334
00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:37,441
What'’s that
supposed to mean?
335
00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:39,182
I don'’t know.
336
00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:42,316
It means... I'’m glad
we'’re still the same people.
337
00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:45,885
Hang on.
338
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:48,322
I am capable of
changing, you know.
339
00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:50,672
Yeah, sure.
340
00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:52,543
It'’s not like I'’m doomed to
make the same stupid mistakes
341
00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:53,936
over and over again.
342
00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:55,111
Nobody'’s saying that.
343
00:14:55,198 --> 00:14:57,070
Let'’s keep kissing.
344
00:15:00,464 --> 00:15:02,684
Hey, give me a second.
345
00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:04,555
What'’s going on?
346
00:15:04,642 --> 00:15:06,514
I don'’t know.
347
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:14,130
Alvin...
348
00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:16,350
I-I'’m sorry, I
can'’t do this.
349
00:15:16,437 --> 00:15:17,742
Why? What'’s wrong?
350
00:15:17,829 --> 00:15:20,832
I want a real
relationship.
351
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,182
So do I.
352
00:15:22,269 --> 00:15:25,054
Well, if that'’s ever
gonna happen for us,
353
00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:27,665
we need to get to know
each other again.
354
00:15:27,752 --> 00:15:29,145
Take it slow.
355
00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:31,408
I'’m 56 years old;
356
00:15:31,495 --> 00:15:34,324
it was gonna be slow
no matter what we did.
357
00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:39,068
Be serious.
358
00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:41,549
Of course we can
take it slow.
359
00:15:41,636 --> 00:15:42,724
Thank you.
360
00:15:42,811 --> 00:15:44,030
No problem.
361
00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:45,205
So, now what?
362
00:15:45,292 --> 00:15:46,554
Well, I don'’t know.
363
00:15:46,641 --> 00:15:48,643
I'’ve never not
done this before.
364
00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:52,299
Uh, can we still...
365
00:15:52,386 --> 00:15:54,214
make out and stuff?
366
00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:56,085
Oh, yeah, I-I know what
you'’re really asking,
367
00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:57,957
and the answer is no.
368
00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:05,399
No, Baxter, he cannot spend
the night with you and Candace.
369
00:16:05,486 --> 00:16:07,444
I don'’t need a reason,
I'’m his mother.
370
00:16:07,531 --> 00:16:09,751
Bring him home now.
371
00:16:09,838 --> 00:16:11,796
[sighs]
372
00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:13,755
Look at me being a bitch.
373
00:16:17,454 --> 00:16:19,630
Ew.
374
00:16:22,155 --> 00:16:23,765
Ew!
375
00:16:23,852 --> 00:16:26,115
Nothing happened.
376
00:16:26,202 --> 00:16:28,465
Dad, I'’m a
grown woman.
377
00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:31,599
I know a sex beer
cozy when I see one.
378
00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:33,079
Yeah, you'’d think.
379
00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:34,602
But, honestly, nothing happened.
380
00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:36,604
Your mother is a classy broad.
381
00:16:36,691 --> 00:16:39,476
Since when?
382
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:41,348
About an hour ago.
383
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:48,007
Is he gone?
384
00:16:49,834 --> 00:16:51,271
Yeah.
385
00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:52,576
What happened?
386
00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:54,317
Nothing.
387
00:16:54,404 --> 00:16:55,971
I took Marjorie'’s advice,
did things differently,
388
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:57,494
and I feel terrific.
389
00:16:57,581 --> 00:17:00,367
You know she watches gay porn?
390
00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:03,544
I know, I watched it with her.
391
00:17:03,631 --> 00:17:05,024
I think she'’s onto something.
392
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:09,158
Yeah. Well, I'’m happy
she helped you,
393
00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:10,768
but she was of no use to me.
394
00:17:10,855 --> 00:17:13,293
What did she tell you?
395
00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:15,469
I don'’t even want
to repeat it.
396
00:17:15,556 --> 00:17:17,210
It'’s just that ridiculous.
397
00:17:17,297 --> 00:17:18,559
Try me.
398
00:17:18,646 --> 00:17:22,215
She thinks I should be
more supportive
399
00:17:22,302 --> 00:17:24,304
of my ex-husband.
400
00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:25,914
That'’s crazy.
401
00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:27,524
Thank you.
402
00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:29,004
You'’re not capable
of being supportive.
403
00:17:29,091 --> 00:17:32,703
You'’re a petty and
vindictive woman.
404
00:17:32,790 --> 00:17:35,054
I am not petty and vindictive.
405
00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:39,275
I... just can'’t stand it
when good things happen
406
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:41,234
to people I used to love.
407
00:17:41,321 --> 00:17:44,150
You know the definition
of insanity?
408
00:17:44,237 --> 00:17:45,760
Yes, I know the definition
of insanity!
409
00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:48,110
I live with you!
410
00:17:48,197 --> 00:17:51,157
Christy, eventually you'’re
gonna do the right thing.
411
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:56,771
I disagree.
412
00:17:56,858 --> 00:17:59,556
I choose the dark side.
413
00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:00,731
Come here.
414
00:18:02,864 --> 00:18:04,474
It'’s not fair.
415
00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:06,215
I know.
416
00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:08,696
I spent all those years
trying to mold that pot-addled
417
00:18:08,783 --> 00:18:12,656
lump of clay,
and now Candace gets the reward.
418
00:18:12,743 --> 00:18:14,354
Sweetie, look at me.
419
00:18:14,441 --> 00:18:18,097
Lest we forget, the
reward is Baxter.
420
00:18:21,665 --> 00:18:25,495
Mom, if you love me,
let me hate.
421
00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:35,810
Nice.
422
00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:44,601
Nice place.Candace has a pool.
423
00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:46,603
Oh, don'’t you pee in it.
424
00:18:46,690 --> 00:18:49,215
Unless you have to.
425
00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:50,825
[doorbell rings]
426
00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:53,784
Hey, guys.
427
00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:55,264
Hi, Candace.
428
00:18:55,351 --> 00:18:56,787
I'’m so glad you changed
your mind
429
00:18:56,874 --> 00:18:58,311
about Roscoe
spending time with us.
430
00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:01,314
Yeah, well, it works out
for everybody.
431
00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:05,100
He gets to be with his dad,
and I get a little me time.
432
00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:06,406
Hey, you made it.
433
00:19:06,493 --> 00:19:07,972
Can we go swimming?
434
00:19:08,059 --> 00:19:09,931
The pool is heated,
and the spa'’s all toasty.
435
00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:13,152
Go put your suit on.
436
00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:15,328
Okay, sweetie, love you!
437
00:19:15,415 --> 00:19:17,156
Bye!
438
00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:18,679
Ah, he waved.
439
00:19:18,766 --> 00:19:20,898
You didn'’t see it.
440
00:19:20,985 --> 00:19:22,900
[clears throat]
441
00:19:22,987 --> 00:19:24,075
Okay, see you later.
442
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,076
Bye.
443
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,426
Wait.
444
00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:29,385
I need to apologize
to you guys.
445
00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:32,693
I shouldn'’t have kept
Roscoe from staying here.
446
00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:34,651
You seem very nice.
447
00:19:34,738 --> 00:19:36,392
And, um...
448
00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:38,133
I'’m happy you
found each other.
449
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:39,874
Well, credit where it'’s due.
450
00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:42,311
None of this happens
if you hadn'’t thrown me away.
451
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:45,706
You know what they say.
452
00:19:45,793 --> 00:19:49,362
One person'’s trash
is another person'’s...
453
00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:51,320
car salesman.
454
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,932
Don'’t worry.
455
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:57,239
I'’m gonna take great care
of your son while he'’s with us.
456
00:19:57,326 --> 00:19:59,067
I know. Thanks.
457
00:19:59,154 --> 00:20:00,547
Candace fixed up the guest room.
458
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:02,418
He'’s got his own TV,
video games...
459
00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:06,596
Ooh, anda closet
that he can use as a closet.
460
00:20:08,816 --> 00:20:10,687
That'’s a good one.
461
00:20:12,646 --> 00:20:14,082
Okay.
462
00:20:14,169 --> 00:20:16,911
I'’ll, uh... see you
in a couple days.
463
00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:18,565
Okay, bye.
464
00:20:22,830 --> 00:20:25,224
"Closet he can use as a closet"!
465
00:20:41,065 --> 00:20:43,285
[doorbell rings]
466
00:20:43,372 --> 00:20:44,591
Yeah.
467
00:20:44,678 --> 00:20:48,595
I think I owe you
another apology.
468
00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:54,209
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
31476
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof