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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,003 [grunts] 2 00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:12,316 Whoa. 3 00:00:15,102 --> 00:00:16,494 Ow. 4 00:00:16,581 --> 00:00:18,496 Damn it. 5 00:00:18,583 --> 00:00:19,932 [groans] 6 00:00:21,195 --> 00:00:22,152 [screams] 7 00:00:27,853 --> 00:00:29,725 Ah... 8 00:00:29,812 --> 00:00:31,161 Help! 9 00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:32,858 Mom! 10 00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:35,644 Anybody?! 11 00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:37,646 ♪ Jump, jump♪ 12 00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:39,474 ♪ Kris Kross will make you ♪♪ Jump, jump♪ 13 00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:41,606 ♪ Don't try to compare us to another bad little fad ♪ 14 00:00:41,693 --> 00:00:43,347 ♪ I'm the Mac and I'm bad ♪ 15 00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:44,609 ♪ Give you something that you never had ♪ 16 00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:45,871 You dance like a white guy. 17 00:00:45,958 --> 00:00:46,829 ♪ And shake your rump ♪ 18 00:00:46,916 --> 00:00:48,309 I am a white guy. 19 00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:49,527 ♪ That makes you wanna jump ♪ 20 00:00:49,614 --> 00:00:51,225 ♪ How high? Real high... ♪ 21 00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:54,054 Hey! Hey! 22 00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:56,099 Man down! 23 00:01:02,627 --> 00:01:03,759 ♪ Jump! How high? Real high ♪ 24 00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:05,500 ♪ 'Cause I'm just so fly ♪ 25 00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:07,284 ♪ A young lovable, huggable type of guy ♪ 26 00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,243 This is how Grandma made money in the '80s. 27 00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:10,896 ♪ 'Cause inside-out is wiggity wiggity wiggity whack ♪ 28 00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:12,942 ♪ I come stompin' ♪ 29 00:01:13,029 --> 00:01:14,161 ♪ With something pumpin' to keep you... ♪ 30 00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:16,859 [grunts] 31 00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:19,644 ♪ The Mac Dad will make you ♪ 32 00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:20,906 ♪ Jump, jump♪ 33 00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:21,951 ♪ Daddy Mac will make you ♪ 34 00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:23,213 ♪ Jump, jump♪ 35 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:24,562 ♪ Kris Kross will make you ♪ 36 00:01:24,649 --> 00:01:26,608 ♪ Jump, jump, jump, jump♪ 37 00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:29,263 ♪ The Mac Dad will make you ♪♪ Jump, jump♪ 38 00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:31,482 Hey!♪ Daddy Mac will make you ♪ 39 00:01:31,569 --> 00:01:33,571 ♪ Jump, jump♪Hey! 40 00:01:33,658 --> 00:01:34,703 ♪ Kris Kross will make you ♪♪ Jump, jump...♪ 41 00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:36,444 What are you doing down there? 42 00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:38,185 I fell. 43 00:01:38,272 --> 00:01:39,186 I hurt my ankle. 44 00:01:39,273 --> 00:01:40,491 Well... 45 00:01:40,578 --> 00:01:42,014 why didn't you call for help? 46 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,407 I did. 47 00:01:43,494 --> 00:01:45,453 I threw fruit. 48 00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:48,499 Oh, God, maybe we should get you to the emergency room. 49 00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:49,979 Oh, it's just a sprain. 50 00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:51,372 Let me see. 51 00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:53,896 Wrong leg, wrong leg, wrong leg! 52 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:10,782 [groans softly] 53 00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:12,741 These cookie are wet, Mom. 54 00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:15,265 I'm sorry. 55 00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:19,139 Are you crazy? 56 00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:20,314 Get off that foot. 57 00:02:20,401 --> 00:02:22,316 Let me put the groceries away. 58 00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:23,839 [sighs] No. 59 00:02:23,926 --> 00:02:25,101 If you do it, I'll never find anything. 60 00:02:25,188 --> 00:02:27,408 You've got two cabinets. 61 00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:29,236 It's not exactly a scavenger hunt. 62 00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:31,673 I got this. 63 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:32,848 All right, fine. 64 00:02:32,935 --> 00:02:34,502 At least tell me why 65 00:02:34,589 --> 00:02:35,590 you won't let a doctor look at your ankle. 66 00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:36,808 [sighs] 67 00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:38,375 Because he might say it's broken 68 00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:40,508 and I don't have time for that. 69 00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:41,639 [clicks tongue] 70 00:02:41,726 --> 00:02:43,119 Oh, yeah. Good strategy. 71 00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:46,035 Is it your plan to tough out the roof, too? 72 00:02:46,122 --> 00:02:47,254 [Christy sighs] 73 00:02:47,341 --> 00:02:48,472 I called the landlord 74 00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:50,518 over and over. 75 00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:51,171 Each time, his English got worse. 76 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:54,522 VIOLET: Mom! Grandma! 77 00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:56,176 Get in here! The baby's moving! 78 00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:57,438 [gasps] 79 00:02:57,525 --> 00:02:58,308 I'm coming! Ow. 80 00:02:58,395 --> 00:02:59,440 I'm coming! Ow. 81 00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:01,224 CHRISTY: I'm coming. Ow. 82 00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:02,443 Oh, my God. There it is! 83 00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:03,531 Right? [laughs] 84 00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:04,880 Let me feel! Let me feel! 85 00:03:04,967 --> 00:03:06,186 Ow. Ah, where? 86 00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:07,230 Where? 87 00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:10,059 Guess it stopped. 88 00:03:12,148 --> 00:03:13,149 Wait. 89 00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:15,673 Nope, just gas. 90 00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:19,460 I gotta call Luke. 91 00:03:21,897 --> 00:03:22,898 [groans] 92 00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:26,858 Don't feel bad. 93 00:03:26,945 --> 00:03:28,469 You'll have plenty of time to spend with that baby 94 00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:29,861 after Violet dumps it on you. 95 00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:32,864 Thanks, Mom. 96 00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:33,735 It's funny... 97 00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:35,215 'cause it's true. 98 00:03:47,183 --> 00:03:50,708 It was so smart to keep this walking boot. 99 00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:52,232 How'd you hurt your ankle the last time? 100 00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:55,147 Oh, you know... 101 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,801 back when I was drinking, 102 00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:58,238 I had this pesky habit 103 00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:00,022 of slipping on my own vomit. 104 00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:02,111 A tale as old as time. 105 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:05,549 [sighs] 106 00:04:05,636 --> 00:04:08,117 Please tell me you microwaved that sponge 107 00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:09,205 before you did the dishes. 108 00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:10,902 What? Why? 109 00:04:10,989 --> 00:04:12,556 To kill the germs. 110 00:04:12,643 --> 00:04:14,254 You're serious? 111 00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:16,865 This thing is filled with bacteria. 112 00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:20,260 Might as well be washing dishes in the toilet. 113 00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:22,044 Wow. 114 00:04:22,131 --> 00:04:23,785 What happened to the fun-lovin' chick 115 00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:26,135 who liked to slip and slide through her own vomit? 116 00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:29,094 She watched a very scary exposé on the 6:00 news 117 00:04:29,181 --> 00:04:30,966 about how your kitchen can kill you 118 00:04:31,053 --> 00:04:32,184 and everyone you love. 119 00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:36,754 Somebody really needs to get laid. 120 00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:39,191 I can hear you, Mom. 121 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,149 You were meant to. 122 00:04:40,236 --> 00:04:42,194 By the way, it's gonna 123 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,674 rain again in a couple of days. 124 00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:44,719 What do you want to do about the leak? 125 00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:46,329 I don't know. 126 00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:48,940 If I could figure out where the hole was, 127 00:04:49,027 --> 00:04:50,551 I'd probably jab a tampon in it. 128 00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:54,555 Nice. 129 00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:56,383 That way, the house can do archery and ride a horse. 130 00:04:58,428 --> 00:04:59,386 I guess I'll just 131 00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:00,778 climb up there 132 00:05:00,865 --> 00:05:02,214 and throw a big tarp over everything. 133 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,868 Really? With one foot? 134 00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:06,044 Who else is gonna do it, Mom? 135 00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:07,655 Are you gonna do it? 136 00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:09,309 You don't even know to microwave a sponge. 137 00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:13,051 Why don't you just call Baxter 138 00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:14,879 and see if he can fix it?Ah! 139 00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:16,359 My ex-husband? 140 00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:18,318 You want to send a stoner up to the roof 141 00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:21,059 with hot tar and a nail gun. 142 00:05:21,146 --> 00:05:23,192 How's that not gonna end in tears? 143 00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:27,196 Well, I'm calling him. 144 00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:29,241 Maybe you should get laid. 145 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,766 I did. 146 00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:35,900 Might want to microwave your sheets. 147 00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:43,560 Whoa. 148 00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:44,996 What's the matter? 149 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:46,607 I felt the baby move. 150 00:05:46,694 --> 00:05:47,869 Ah! 151 00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:48,826 The baby's moving! 152 00:05:48,913 --> 00:05:50,524 Violet, I'm coming! 153 00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:51,307 I'm coming! 154 00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:53,875 I'm coming. 155 00:05:53,962 --> 00:05:55,920 Shake your belly! Keep it moving! 156 00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:00,403 [microwave beeps] 157 00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:09,630 I always wondered how they made sponges. 158 00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:16,332 [knocking at door] 159 00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:17,377 [door opens] 160 00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:23,470 Somebody need a hole plugged? 161 00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:27,822 Oh, God. 162 00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,128 There's a... 163 00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:31,782 old tarp in the shed. 164 00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:34,089 Just cover as much of the roof as you can, 165 00:06:34,176 --> 00:06:35,264 and I'll get a roofer out here next week. 166 00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:36,352 A roofer? 167 00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:37,353 [laughs] 168 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:38,572 La-di-dah! 169 00:06:38,659 --> 00:06:41,270 When did you get so middle-class? 170 00:06:43,228 --> 00:06:44,926 Can you find the leak, 171 00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:47,145 cover it with hot tar, and then reshingle? 172 00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:50,627 There's a couple of steps I didn't know about, but yeah. 173 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,891 What happened to your paw? 174 00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:55,632 Oh... I fell. 175 00:06:55,719 --> 00:06:57,199 Were you loaded? 176 00:06:57,286 --> 00:06:59,331 No. 177 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,421 That's where you went wrong. 178 00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,206 Never fall sober. 179 00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:05,425 You tense up. 180 00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:07,427 Thanks for the tip. 181 00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:09,603 It's a scientific fact. 182 00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:10,995 You can't get hurt when you're high. 183 00:07:12,910 --> 00:07:15,609 I don't make the rules. 184 00:07:18,176 --> 00:07:20,135 [beer can popping open] 185 00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:25,227 Mr. Baxter... 186 00:07:25,314 --> 00:07:27,621 Oh! 187 00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:29,623 That was my only beer! 188 00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,973 Sorry. 189 00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:33,148 I got weed. 190 00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:34,454 Forgiven. 191 00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:39,676 Need any help?You know how to patch a leaky roof? 192 00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,374 No.That makes two of us. 193 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,202 Here, let's just rip up shingles, 194 00:07:44,289 --> 00:07:45,508 and if we see the living room, 195 00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:47,554 we've gone too far. 196 00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:52,820 I once patched a leak in a swimming pool. 197 00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:54,038 Yeah? How'd that go? 198 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:55,649 Not good. 199 00:07:55,736 --> 00:07:58,347 Apparently, you gotta take the water out first. 200 00:07:58,434 --> 00:07:59,827 Hey, can I ask you a question? 201 00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:03,483 The capital of Ethiopia is Addis Ababa. 202 00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,615 What? 203 00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:09,097 That's just something I like that I know. 204 00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:11,142 No one ever asks. 205 00:08:11,229 --> 00:08:13,362 Actually, I was gonna ask you about having a baby. 206 00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:15,059 Oh. 207 00:08:15,146 --> 00:08:16,626 Yeah, you don't want to have one of those 208 00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:17,975 until you're, like, 45, 50 209 00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:19,673 and you can't have any more fun 210 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,022 or your heart'll explode. 211 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:23,981 No, dude, 212 00:08:24,068 --> 00:08:26,114 Violet's having my baby in a few months. 213 00:08:26,201 --> 00:08:27,985 Oh... 214 00:08:28,072 --> 00:08:29,509 Well, game over. 215 00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:33,600 It's starting to kick. 216 00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:34,775 Oh, that's big. 217 00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:37,778 Yeah. It's really happening. 218 00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:40,171 I just don't know if I'm ready to be a dad. 219 00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:40,998 [laughs] 220 00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:42,565 Been there. 221 00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:43,914 Really? 222 00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:45,394 Yeah, absolutely. 223 00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:47,091 Believe it or not, I had grave doubts 224 00:08:47,178 --> 00:08:48,919 about my own parenting abilities. 225 00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:51,095 I just don't want to turn into my father. 226 00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:53,707 I mean, I love him, but... you'd only give him 227 00:08:53,794 --> 00:08:57,014 a "world's greatest dad" T-shirt ironically. 228 00:08:57,101 --> 00:08:58,146 Yeah. 229 00:08:58,233 --> 00:08:59,843 I had a father like that. 230 00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:02,498 Vice cop in Oakland. 231 00:09:02,585 --> 00:09:04,544 I sure showed him. 232 00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:09,157 Let me tell you something: When the baby gets here, 233 00:09:09,244 --> 00:09:10,419 you'll know what to do. 234 00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:11,463 I hope so. 235 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,639 I'll never forget 236 00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:14,641 driving home from the hospital 237 00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:16,556 after Roscoe was born. 238 00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,427 I looked in the rearview mirror at him in his car seat, 239 00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:19,515 and I just... knew I could do it. 240 00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:21,909 Cool. 241 00:09:21,996 --> 00:09:23,650 Yeah. 242 00:09:23,737 --> 00:09:26,304 If Christy hadn't caught me banging her best friend, 243 00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:27,958 I'd still be doing it. 244 00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:30,700 Don't worry. 245 00:09:30,787 --> 00:09:31,919 You'll be a great dad. 246 00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:33,355 Thanks. 247 00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:35,096 It sounds like you're a great dad, too. 248 00:09:35,183 --> 00:09:36,663 [laughs] 249 00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:38,316 I do my best. 250 00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:40,623 Now, let's smoke that weed before I go crazy. 251 00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:46,760 [Baxter and Luke laughing] 252 00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:52,635 It sounds like Luke and Baxter are getting along. 253 00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:55,682 I know that laugh. 254 00:09:58,510 --> 00:09:59,511 They're getting ready to order pizza. 255 00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:05,909 Just my luck. 256 00:10:05,996 --> 00:10:08,303 I got a couple of idiot nine-year-olds 257 00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:09,609 fixing my roof. 258 00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:12,002 I'm nine. 259 00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:15,571 Nothing to brag about. 260 00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:17,660 BAXTER: Hey, man, let's order a pizza! 261 00:10:24,928 --> 00:10:25,886 Ow! 262 00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:30,238 Ow! 263 00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:35,635 Ah! 264 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:37,549 This is fun. 265 00:10:41,553 --> 00:10:42,903 What are you doing? 266 00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:43,555 Working. 267 00:10:45,601 --> 00:10:47,516 I knew I should've handled this myself. 268 00:10:47,603 --> 00:10:50,345 Christy, it's done. 269 00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:52,086 Look. All sealed. 270 00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:53,478 Just got to let it dry 271 00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:55,132 and put the shingles on tomorrow. 272 00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:57,047 Oh. 273 00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:58,266 Okay. 274 00:10:58,353 --> 00:11:00,094 Good. 275 00:11:00,181 --> 00:11:02,444 Just promise me you'll be careful. 276 00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:03,619 Promise. 277 00:11:03,706 --> 00:11:05,186 I don't care if you get high. 278 00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:07,057 I just don't want anybody getting hurt. 279 00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:09,669 We are not getting high. 280 00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:14,630 She knows, dude. 281 00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,721 Relax. We're being real safe. 282 00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:21,332 Thank you. 283 00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:23,073 No, no, no, no, no! 284 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,161 [crashing] 285 00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:29,471 Oh. She tensed up. 286 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,700 It was so smart to save this. 287 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:44,921 Another vomit-related injury? 288 00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:46,401 [sighs] 289 00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:47,445 No. 290 00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:48,577 Slammed it in a car door. 291 00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:50,057 Drunk?Acid. 292 00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:51,319 Ah. 293 00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:54,409 Thought I was invisible. 294 00:11:54,496 --> 00:11:57,151 [sighs] I can't believe you're going to work. 295 00:11:57,238 --> 00:11:58,630 Why not? 296 00:11:58,718 --> 00:11:59,980 Your ankle's the size of a grapefruit. 297 00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:02,069 You just fell off a freaking ladder. 298 00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:03,548 It's a miracle you're not driving a wheelchair 299 00:12:03,635 --> 00:12:05,159 with your tongue. 300 00:12:05,246 --> 00:12:07,074 I'm fine. 301 00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:08,553 It's just a sprain... 302 00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:14,298 What are you trying to prove? 303 00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:15,038 [sighs] 304 00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:15,865 Nothing. 305 00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:18,563 I have a job. 306 00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,522 I've got bills, I've got obligations... 307 00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:21,871 [keys clatter to floor] 308 00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:25,745 Would you like me to pick that up for you? 309 00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:28,878 No. Thank you. 310 00:12:46,591 --> 00:12:49,246 Oh... 311 00:12:51,509 --> 00:12:53,120 Got it! 312 00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:58,647 Soup's up. 313 00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:00,954 Oh, God. 314 00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:02,607 Not more soup. 315 00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:05,567 Careful. 316 00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:07,525 Very hot. 317 00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:10,746 I'll see you in hell. 318 00:13:13,227 --> 00:13:14,750 [gasps] 319 00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:15,751 Ah... 320 00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:16,883 Ow. 321 00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:18,362 Ow, ow, ow, ow. 322 00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:20,756 Ow, ow, ow. 323 00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:21,757 Ow, ow, ow. 324 00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:23,019 Ow. 325 00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:24,934 Why is this so enjoyable? 326 00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:28,416 I think 'cause we're bad people. 327 00:13:29,939 --> 00:13:31,898 [gasps] 328 00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:34,639 Son of a bitch. 329 00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:38,513 Hot, hot, hot, hot. 330 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:39,166 Hot, hot, hot. 331 00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:41,690 Ah, hot. 332 00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:43,953 Ah... hot. 333 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:44,954 Ah... 334 00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:45,607 ah... ah... 335 00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:47,609 [panting] 336 00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:48,697 Ah... 337 00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:51,743 Ah... ooh... 338 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,833 [panting] 339 00:13:57,967 --> 00:14:00,709 Uh... 340 00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:03,930 It appears we are out of soup. 341 00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:19,641 Mmm. 342 00:14:19,728 --> 00:14:21,034 [door closes] 343 00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:22,078 What are you doing back so early? 344 00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:23,993 Oh... 345 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,039 Gabriel sent me home. 346 00:14:26,126 --> 00:14:26,604 He didn't fire you, did he? 347 00:14:26,691 --> 00:14:29,303 No. 348 00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:31,566 The one perk to having slept with your married boss 349 00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:33,655 is job security. 350 00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:37,702 Why don't you relax and I'll make dinner? 351 00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:38,965 No, I got it. 352 00:14:39,052 --> 00:14:41,054 Christy...I said I got it! 353 00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:52,500 [sobbing loudly] 354 00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:54,415 [sobbing]: I don't got it. 355 00:14:54,502 --> 00:14:56,199 [Christy sniffs] 356 00:14:56,286 --> 00:14:57,722 I don't got it. 357 00:14:57,809 --> 00:14:59,333 What's that I hear? 358 00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:01,030 Was that a cry for help? 359 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,905 I'm done. 360 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,820 There's nothing left. 361 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,475 [sniffs] 362 00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:14,043 I still didn't hear the word "help." 363 00:15:18,743 --> 00:15:19,962 Help. 364 00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:26,751 [sobbing]Oh... 365 00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:29,885 Come here. 366 00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:31,191 Let's get you into bed, 367 00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:32,670 and I will cook us all a nice dinner. 368 00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:34,803 Thank you. 369 00:15:34,890 --> 00:15:35,891 [sniffs] 370 00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:39,939 How do you feel about some hot soup? 371 00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:47,381 Thanks for helping out, man. 372 00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:48,991 My pleasure. 373 00:15:49,078 --> 00:15:50,645 Pitching in around here makes me feel better 374 00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:53,822 about being late with the child support payments. 375 00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:56,303 You'll understand that soon enough. 376 00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:00,350 I really appreciate you talking me 377 00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:01,308 through this whole baby thing. 378 00:16:01,395 --> 00:16:03,179 Ah, it was nothing. 379 00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:05,007 No, man, it was a big help. 380 00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:06,704 I would give you 381 00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:09,403 a "world's greatest dad" T-shirt unironically. 382 00:16:12,493 --> 00:16:15,975 Wow. Thanks. 383 00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:18,194 I don't get a lot of positive feedback. 384 00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:22,024 All right. 385 00:16:22,111 --> 00:16:23,025 Enough emotion. 386 00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:24,331 Let's get baked. 387 00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:26,681 Right. 388 00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:30,206 I'm just so tired. 389 00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:32,426 That's because you don't let anybody help you. 390 00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:33,862 [sighs] I would, 391 00:16:33,949 --> 00:16:35,385 but then things don't get done right. 392 00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:38,084 Before you know it, everything's falling apart. 393 00:16:38,171 --> 00:16:40,477 Stop tucking. I'm not a burrito. 394 00:16:41,696 --> 00:16:43,219 Sorry. 395 00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:44,090 And you don't know how to fluff a pillow. 396 00:16:44,177 --> 00:16:46,005 Oh, go fluff yourself. 397 00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:49,138 Sure. 398 00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:50,357 Abandon me. 399 00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:51,532 That's how this all started. 400 00:16:51,619 --> 00:16:53,055 Come again? 401 00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:54,709 Forget it. 402 00:16:54,796 --> 00:16:56,276 No, you-you seriously think 403 00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:57,016 I'm the reason you're a control freak? 404 00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:00,236 You seriously don't? 405 00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:02,195 Here we go. 406 00:17:02,282 --> 00:17:05,763 Welcome back to another exciting episode of Blaming Bonnie! 407 00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:07,765 As far back as I can remember, 408 00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:08,897 I came home every night to an empty house. 409 00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:12,292 Ah, I've seen this one. 410 00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:13,902 If I didn't cook dinner, I didn't eat. 411 00:17:13,989 --> 00:17:15,512 At least the fridge was filled with food. 412 00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:17,079 Don't you dare defend yourself! 413 00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:18,602 But I provided. I...No, no, no, no, no! No! 414 00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:20,517 This is not a conversation. 415 00:17:20,604 --> 00:17:22,258 Do I have to remind you 416 00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:23,390 that I raised myself? 417 00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:25,522 I did my own laundry, 418 00:17:25,609 --> 00:17:26,915 I made my own lunches, 419 00:17:27,002 --> 00:17:28,699 I hitchhiked to school. 420 00:17:28,786 --> 00:17:30,527 What's that got to do with 421 00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:33,313 you being a bitter, angry, resentful woman right now? 422 00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:38,883 I said this is not a conversation! 423 00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:44,324 [deep voice]: Hey, dude. 424 00:17:44,411 --> 00:17:46,717 Pass the joy. 425 00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:50,112 I don't have it. 426 00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:52,158 I don't have it, either. 427 00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:55,509 [chuckles] 428 00:17:55,596 --> 00:17:58,381 Too bad it's not a phone. We could call it. 429 00:17:58,468 --> 00:17:59,861 [laughing] 430 00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:00,862 Whoa. 431 00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:03,082 What? 432 00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:05,954 This is amazing weed. 433 00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:07,912 I can see your farts! 434 00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:16,182 Awesome. 435 00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:18,053 Do you honestly believe you have to remind me 436 00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:20,186 how much I screwed up? 437 00:18:20,273 --> 00:18:21,578 You don't think I carry that with me 438 00:18:21,665 --> 00:18:23,537 every minute of every freaking day? 439 00:18:23,624 --> 00:18:24,581 Do you? 440 00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:25,408 The actual amount of time 441 00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:27,018 is not important. 442 00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:30,239 All you need to know 443 00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:32,111 is I am trying to be here for you right now, 444 00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:34,852 and you can stop beating me up for who I used to be, 445 00:18:34,939 --> 00:18:36,027 because I've got that covered. 446 00:18:39,596 --> 00:18:41,294 But I like beating you up. 447 00:18:44,949 --> 00:18:46,342 How's this for a plan? 448 00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:48,736 You can blame me for all your problems 449 00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:51,434 on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. 450 00:18:51,521 --> 00:18:53,871 I'll punish myself the rest of the week. 451 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,353 Well, it is Monday. 452 00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:00,748 All right. 453 00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:03,229 I was a terrible mother. 454 00:19:03,316 --> 00:19:04,665 And I let you down, 455 00:19:04,752 --> 00:19:07,711 and nobody hates me more than me. 456 00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:09,539 How's that? 457 00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:14,414 It would've been better if you cried. 458 00:19:16,851 --> 00:19:18,853 I'll work on it. 459 00:19:21,943 --> 00:19:23,205 I'm so sorry, baby. 460 00:19:26,077 --> 00:19:27,078 Aw... 461 00:19:31,082 --> 00:19:33,172 Do you smell something? 462 00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:38,220 [deep voice]: Uh-oh. 463 00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:45,184 You were so smart to save this. 464 00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:47,447 Thanks. 465 00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:49,623 It's the herbal tea, right? 466 00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:51,059 As you requested. 467 00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:52,452 Just checking. 468 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,981 Purple's such a pretty color. 469 00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:01,417 It doesn't feel pretty. 470 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:08,250 I do love taking care of you. 471 00:20:08,337 --> 00:20:10,426 I love it, too, Mom. 472 00:20:10,513 --> 00:20:11,688 Well... probably should've done it 473 00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:12,646 when you were a kid. 474 00:20:12,733 --> 00:20:14,169 That would've been nice. 475 00:20:18,129 --> 00:20:20,131 [thunder rumbles] 476 00:20:22,612 --> 00:20:24,223 [exhales] Gotta hand it Baxter. 477 00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:26,660 He did a good job up there. 478 00:20:26,747 --> 00:20:28,009 Yeah, he did. 479 00:20:28,096 --> 00:20:29,837 I'm hard on him, but... 480 00:20:29,924 --> 00:20:31,055 he is trying to step up. 481 00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:33,144 Maybe people can change. 482 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,669 [water drips] 483 00:20:38,715 --> 00:20:40,674 Or maybe not. 484 00:20:42,197 --> 00:20:43,503 [pops lips] 485 00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:44,982 If it makes you feel any better, 486 00:20:45,069 --> 00:20:46,332 I forgot you wanted herbal. 487 00:20:46,419 --> 00:20:47,898 Captioning sponsored by CBS 488 00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:48,986 and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 489 00:20:49,073 --> 00:20:51,119 and TOYOTA. 490 00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:51,815 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 30738

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