Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:05,918
I'm thinking about
going vegan.
2
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,052
Really? Why?
3
00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:11,663
Diet, health,
compassion for animals?
4
00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:14,753
I'm not happy with
how my urine smells.
5
00:00:16,842 --> 00:00:18,453
Then stop smelling it.
6
00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:22,544
Oh, don't look.Don't smell, don't look.
7
00:00:22,631 --> 00:00:23,936
You're bossy today.
8
00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:26,939
Isn't that the chef
from your restaurant?
9
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,724
Yeah.
10
00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:29,594
He's kind of cute.
11
00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:31,118
No, he's not.
12
00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:32,684
Everyone at work
is terrified of him.
13
00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:34,947
How scary can he be?
He's carrying a purse.
14
00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:38,299
Ah, hello there.
15
00:00:38,386 --> 00:00:40,127
Damn. Hi.
16
00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:44,653
Chef Rudy, good to see you.
17
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:45,828
Good to see you, too,
18
00:00:45,915 --> 00:00:47,612
I want to say... Meredith?
19
00:00:47,699 --> 00:00:49,658
Christy.
20
00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:51,486
Right. And your mother Bonnie.
21
00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:52,617
Oh.
22
00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:55,055
I work with you every day,
23
00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:57,753
and her you remember?
24
00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:01,104
Does a thirsty man forget
a tall glass of water?
25
00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:04,064
May I join you?
26
00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:06,588
Sure.
27
00:01:08,242 --> 00:01:09,112
So, my daughter tells
me everyone at work
28
00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:11,114
is frightened of you.
29
00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:12,072
Ooh, that's very sweet.
Thank you.
30
00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:16,598
So, what kind
of naughtiness
31
00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:19,035
is the mother-daughter
team up to today?
32
00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:20,384
Don't go there.
33
00:01:20,471 --> 00:01:24,345
Mmm, too late.
Mental snapshot. Click.
34
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,392
We've just come back
from the drugstore,
35
00:01:28,479 --> 00:01:30,394
where we bought
some, you know...
36
00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:31,482
girl stuff.
37
00:01:31,569 --> 00:01:32,135
Click.
38
00:01:32,222 --> 00:01:34,094
[laughs]
39
00:01:34,181 --> 00:01:36,966
What are you
up to today?
40
00:01:37,053 --> 00:01:40,317
Oh, just blowing
the dust off my Spyder.
41
00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:43,015
Beg pardon?I have a vintage
Porsche Spyder.
42
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,365
She's high-strung,
impulsive,
43
00:01:44,452 --> 00:01:45,844
and if I don't
ride her hard
44
00:01:45,931 --> 00:01:48,195
at least once a day,
she misbehaves.
45
00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:49,021
I'm the same way.
46
00:01:51,589 --> 00:01:52,242
Click.
47
00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:54,505
[giggles]
48
00:01:54,592 --> 00:01:56,681
Aw, all out of film.
49
00:01:56,768 --> 00:01:59,597
Yeah. I will
bid you adieu.
50
00:01:59,684 --> 00:02:00,685
A la prochaine.
51
00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:02,165
Yeah, I just know "adieu."
52
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,822
Tell me you haven't tapped that.
53
00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:09,085
Of course not.
54
00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:11,566
Good.
55
00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:32,935
Can I ask you
a little friendly advice
56
00:02:33,022 --> 00:02:35,503
vis-à-vis my
personal affairs?
57
00:02:35,590 --> 00:02:37,287
Oh. Yeah.
Sure.
58
00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:40,203
Great. What are my chances
of bedding your mother?
59
00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:43,032
What?
60
00:02:43,119 --> 00:02:44,773
I felt there was
chemistry between us.
61
00:02:44,860 --> 00:02:46,992
But I feel that with
a lot of women, often with
62
00:02:47,079 --> 00:02:49,908
disastrous results.
63
00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:51,475
Fun fact:
64
00:02:51,562 --> 00:02:53,173
pepper spray tastes
nothing like pepper.
65
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,437
All right,
66
00:02:56,524 --> 00:02:57,655
look...
67
00:02:57,742 --> 00:02:59,266
[sighs]
68
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:01,790
I don't want
to get involved here, but...
69
00:03:01,877 --> 00:03:05,228
I will tell you she was
quite taken with you.
70
00:03:05,315 --> 00:03:07,274
Oh, I knew it.
71
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:10,929
When I walked out of that coffee
shop, my testicles were on fire.
72
00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:15,107
You might want
to get those looked at.
73
00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:19,460
That's what
I'm trying to do.
74
00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:23,246
Be a dear, get her
on the phone for me.
75
00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:27,424
Okay, but I got to warn
you about my mother.
76
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:30,297
There's a little crazy
up in them thar hills.
77
00:03:30,384 --> 00:03:31,428
Mm-hmm.
78
00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:33,169
Well, you know what they say,
79
00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:35,302
"nothing soils the sheets
like crazy."
80
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,131
How are you allowed
to touch food?
81
00:03:42,831 --> 00:03:44,659
Hi, Mom, it's me.
82
00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:48,053
I'm probably going
to regret this, but...
83
00:03:49,925 --> 00:03:51,492
He's right here.
84
00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:55,409
Hey, you.
85
00:03:55,496 --> 00:03:57,411
Been ridden hard
yet, today?
86
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:07,899
Aah, clickety-click,
click, click.
87
00:04:14,428 --> 00:04:15,385
Is Grandma having
dinner with us?
88
00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:18,258
No, she's
got a date.
89
00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:19,389
Cool. You know the guy?
90
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:21,217
I do.
91
00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:23,088
So, do you think
they'll hit it off?
92
00:04:23,175 --> 00:04:26,091
I'm thinking murder-suicide.
93
00:04:26,178 --> 00:04:28,268
It's so weird to think
of your grandma dating.
94
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:31,140
My grandma weighs 300 pounds
and has one leg.
95
00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:35,013
Well, doesn't mean there's
not someone out there for her.
96
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:36,885
That's true.
97
00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:40,018
My grandfather would sure
love it if she met somebody.
98
00:04:40,105 --> 00:04:41,019
[knocking]
99
00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:42,151
Oh, I'll get it.
100
00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:47,417
Well, grandma will be easy
to spot at the wedding.
101
00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:54,163
Well, you must be Violet.
102
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:56,383
No, I-I'm Luke.
103
00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:59,081
Well, you're very pretty,
nonetheless.
104
00:04:59,168 --> 00:05:00,561
Bonnie here?
105
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,171
Uh, she's getting
ready. Come on in.
106
00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:04,129
Welcome.
107
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:05,914
Thank you.
108
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:09,178
Well, I had you pegged
for a house on wheels.
109
00:05:09,265 --> 00:05:11,267
That's the dream.
110
00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:13,051
Can I get you
something to drink?
111
00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:15,140
I wouldn't mind a glass
of pinot grigio.
112
00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:18,056
I wouldn't mind a bucket of gin.
113
00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:21,321
But, uh, all we've got
is tap water and milk.
114
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:22,757
Mmm. I'll pass.
115
00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:24,149
What am I smelling?
116
00:05:24,236 --> 00:05:26,064
I made dinner.
117
00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:27,588
No, that can't be it.
118
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:30,852
Do you have pets?
119
00:05:30,939 --> 00:05:32,201
It's corned beef and cabbage.
120
00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:35,422
Oh, yes, poor people food.
121
00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:37,815
My apologies.
It smells delicious.
122
00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:41,036
Ready to go?
123
00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:43,212
Oh, well, there's a
tasty morsel. Yum, yum.
124
00:05:43,299 --> 00:05:45,127
Thank you.
125
00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:46,302
He's gonna eat her?
126
00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:50,350
Shall we?Did you bring the Spyder?
127
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:51,394
Freshly lubed
for your pleasure.
128
00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:55,137
Ooh! Bye, family.
129
00:05:55,224 --> 00:05:57,400
Have fun.
130
00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:58,880
Are we poor people?
131
00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:01,709
Of course not.
132
00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:03,145
Now, eat your boiled meat.
133
00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:08,672
Wow, that was
quite an education,
134
00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:11,458
watching a master chef
shop for groceries.
135
00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:14,635
Well, I think it's
important to feel and smell
136
00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:17,202
the things we put inside us.
137
00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:21,729
I got to tell you,
if I'm smelling it,
138
00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:24,340
I'm not feeling it.
139
00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:26,386
So, um, what are we having?
140
00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:29,301
Well, it's a tasting menu
that I call
141
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:33,567
"Seven Small Explosions
in Your Mouth."
142
00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:38,180
Seven, huh?
143
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:39,529
Let's see.
144
00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:43,228
Salty, sweet,
savory, sour...
145
00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:45,230
Help me.
146
00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:47,972
Crunchy, creamy and Rudy.
147
00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:51,019
Ooh.
148
00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:52,934
What's Rudy taste like?
149
00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:55,153
Pistachios, I've been told.
150
00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:57,721
Mm.
151
00:06:57,808 --> 00:06:59,157
But the real magic happens
152
00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:00,985
when we start
to combine flavors.
153
00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:02,334
For example,
154
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,380
take a simple
cherry tomato.
155
00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:07,470
Squirt a little aged
balsamic vinegar
156
00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:09,472
into its fleshy center.
157
00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:12,301
"Cherry," "squirt," "fleshy."
158
00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:14,564
You can't help yourself,
can you?
159
00:07:14,651 --> 00:07:16,348
It's very hard.
160
00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:24,792
Mmm!
161
00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:28,491
That's not sweet like a tomato
or sour like vinegar.
162
00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:29,884
Exactly.
163
00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:31,625
It's a third thing
that didn't exist
164
00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:34,236
until one was driven
deep inside the other.
165
00:07:37,631 --> 00:07:42,070
And yes, I know
what I just said.
166
00:07:42,157 --> 00:07:43,550
Where'd you go
to culinary school?
167
00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:46,074
Can you keep a secret?Of course.
168
00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:46,553
A Denny's in Boston.
169
00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:50,339
I worked the late shift;
170
00:07:50,426 --> 00:07:51,471
there's a lot of time
to screw around.
171
00:07:53,429 --> 00:07:55,039
Where's the Boston accent?
172
00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:56,519
I dropped it.
173
00:07:56,606 --> 00:07:57,999
[Boston accent]:
Hard to charge 60 bucks
174
00:07:58,086 --> 00:07:58,913
for lobster chowder
with capers.
175
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,610
Ah.Yeah.
176
00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:02,177
Well, where
are my manners?
177
00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:03,831
Can I get you
a glass of wine?
178
00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:05,746
No, thank you.
I don't drink.
179
00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:06,355
Never?
180
00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:07,443
Never.
181
00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:09,967
Impressive.
182
00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:12,709
How is it that you have not
killed yourself?
183
00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:16,452
I'm more of a homicide girl.
184
00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:20,369
Well, then, as a good host,
I won't drink, either.
185
00:08:26,418 --> 00:08:28,377
Ah, who am I kidding?
186
00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:31,380
So, why do you abstain?
187
00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:33,208
I'm allergic to alcohol.
188
00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:34,383
Every time I drink,
I break out in handcuffs.
189
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:36,385
Mm.
190
00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:37,908
Pity.
191
00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:39,083
I have a rather
remarkable collection
192
00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:40,868
of wine andhandcuffs.
193
00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:42,739
You know,
194
00:08:42,826 --> 00:08:46,438
next to great food, beautiful
women and vintage cars,
195
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,484
wine is what brings me
the most happiness.
196
00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:52,575
No, actually,
it's women, then food...
197
00:08:52,662 --> 00:08:54,185
No, wine, women...
198
00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:55,665
Ah, I left out pills.
199
00:08:58,102 --> 00:08:59,669
It's pills, wine...I get the point.
200
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,544
Let's see how sophisticated
your palate is. Hmm?
201
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,415
Put on this blindfold.
202
00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:10,071
Well, I usually charge 50 bucks
extra for that, but okay.
203
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:14,510
I knew I liked you.
204
00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:16,468
[giggles]
205
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,080
And... you ready?
206
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:20,603
Do it.
207
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,562
What do you taste?
208
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,869
Mmm. Fig?
209
00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:27,175
Very good.
210
00:09:27,262 --> 00:09:29,394
Now, try this.
211
00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:32,136
Mmm.
212
00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:36,619
Eel?
213
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:39,970
And here comes
the pistachios.
214
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,245
Morning.
215
00:09:57,553 --> 00:09:58,772
Walk of shame?
216
00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:02,471
Stride of pride.
217
00:10:02,558 --> 00:10:04,691
Did you consider,
for even a minute,
218
00:10:04,778 --> 00:10:06,344
to go slow with this guy?
219
00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:07,781
See a movie,
220
00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:10,000
shop at the flea market,
221
00:10:10,087 --> 00:10:11,785
text him a picture
of your boobs.
222
00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:13,525
You know,
223
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:14,657
like a lady.
224
00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:15,397
I did think about it.
225
00:10:15,484 --> 00:10:17,442
And?
226
00:10:17,529 --> 00:10:20,620
I chose instead to do him
on the floor of his kitchen.
227
00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:23,405
What is wrong with you?
228
00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:25,407
Don't you have any self-respect?
229
00:10:25,494 --> 00:10:28,497
Oh, please. Self-respect is for
women who spend Saturday night
230
00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:30,717
alone with their showerhead
set on pulse.
231
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:36,331
That's a terrible thing to say.
232
00:10:36,418 --> 00:10:39,813
And I happen to have
a stiff neck from work.
233
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:42,685
Did it ever occur to you
that what happened last night
234
00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:45,645
between me and Rudolph was the
start of something wonderful?
235
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:48,256
Oh, wake up!
236
00:10:48,343 --> 00:10:50,998
It's a one-night stand
between a middle-aged alcoholic
237
00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:52,390
and a sex addict.
238
00:10:52,477 --> 00:10:54,654
How dare you
call me middle-aged?
239
00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,527
And it was not
a one-night stand.
240
00:10:58,614 --> 00:11:00,485
Rudy and I are two ingredients,
which, when combined,
241
00:11:00,572 --> 00:11:03,663
create a third thing which...
never existed before.
242
00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:07,014
What the hell
are you talking about?
243
00:11:07,101 --> 00:11:08,537
I don't know;
it's a tomato thing!
244
00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:14,543
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go take a shower.
245
00:11:15,544 --> 00:11:17,502
To clean myself.
246
00:11:18,721 --> 00:11:20,767
You'll never be clean!
247
00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:21,811
[door slams]
248
00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:33,736
So, are we gonna
talk about it?
249
00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:37,348
Well, I was gonna be a gentleman
and spare you the details,
250
00:11:37,435 --> 00:11:38,828
but as you wish.
251
00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:41,309
Your mother
is sleek yet powerful,
252
00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:42,614
like an enormous greyhound.
253
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:43,877
Yeah, great.
254
00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:45,705
Not what I want to talk about.
255
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:49,143
I... I just want
to put it out there
256
00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:53,103
that no matter where your
relationship goes with her,
257
00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:57,107
you and I maintain a
professional relationship here.
258
00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:58,979
Okay, two things wrong
with that, Meredith.
259
00:12:01,590 --> 00:12:03,374
First of all,
you and I don't have
260
00:12:03,461 --> 00:12:05,115
a professional relationship.
261
00:12:05,202 --> 00:12:05,942
I'm a world-class chef,
and you are a waitress.
262
00:12:06,029 --> 00:12:07,596
And no offense,
263
00:12:07,683 --> 00:12:09,685
but I would be just as happy
to put my food
264
00:12:09,772 --> 00:12:13,689
on a tiny toy train that
choo-choos into the dining room.
265
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:17,301
And secondly,
266
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:19,434
I have absolutely
no plans
267
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,653
to pursue a relationship
with your mommy.
268
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,440
What?
269
00:12:25,527 --> 00:12:29,574
I thought the two of you
made a third thing.
270
00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:31,620
With a tomato.
271
00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:34,754
No, that's just my rap
272
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:37,495
when I'm trying
to filet some panties.
273
00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:39,628
Oh.
274
00:12:39,715 --> 00:12:44,198
So, you're not planning
on seeing her again?
275
00:12:44,285 --> 00:12:45,373
Oh, God, no.
276
00:12:45,460 --> 00:12:46,809
Well, never say never.
277
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:49,246
Can't have a Russian hooker
every night.
278
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:56,688
I don't believe this.
279
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:59,430
[sighs] What kind
of a man are you?
280
00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:01,215
Well, selfish, narcissistic,
281
00:13:01,302 --> 00:13:02,782
emotionally crippled
by a cold and distant mother.
282
00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:04,696
You know, the usual.
283
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,352
She's gonna
be devastated.
284
00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:10,398
Well, then you better
break it to her gently.
285
00:13:10,485 --> 00:13:12,182
I'm not gonna tell her.
286
00:13:12,269 --> 00:13:13,575
Wow, that seems cruel.
287
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,098
But your call.
288
00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:17,971
What's going on?
289
00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:20,016
That pig slept with my mother.
290
00:13:21,583 --> 00:13:23,628
Welcome to the club.
291
00:13:31,114 --> 00:13:32,246
Hey.
292
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:33,551
Hey.
293
00:13:33,638 --> 00:13:34,857
Roscoe asleep?Yup.
294
00:13:37,686 --> 00:13:39,166
What'd you do tonight?
295
00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:40,254
What do you care?
296
00:13:40,341 --> 00:13:41,733
Oh, come on.
297
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,561
I'm sorry about this morning.
298
00:13:43,648 --> 00:13:45,650
Really? So, you admit
that Rudy and I
299
00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:48,436
are capable of having
a meaningful relationship?
300
00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:50,394
Well...
301
00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:52,614
I admit that I love you.
302
00:13:54,311 --> 00:13:56,313
All right, what's going on?
303
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,359
[sighs]
304
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:00,709
Rudy's done with you.
305
00:14:02,754 --> 00:14:04,713
Well, why are you
telling me instead of him?
306
00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:07,803
Because...
307
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:10,110
he was emotionally
crippled by his mother.
308
00:14:12,982 --> 00:14:14,288
And, you know...
309
00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:15,724
he's a giant douche.
310
00:14:17,769 --> 00:14:20,294
Wow, so I completely
misread him.
311
00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:22,296
I'm so sorry.
312
00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:23,471
No, you warned me.
313
00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:24,646
I'm a big girl.
314
00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:26,039
I should have known better.
315
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:29,172
Look at me,
giving myself a pedicure
316
00:14:29,259 --> 00:14:31,783
so that jerk could
suckle on a pretty red toe.
317
00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:35,265
Is that his thing?
318
00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:36,919
Oh, yeah, he's got a mouth
like a Chinese finger trap.
319
00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:41,924
My fault, I asked.
320
00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:43,665
All right, I'm gonna
take a quick shower.
321
00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:46,059
Say hi to your boyfriend.
322
00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:53,501
I would, but after
he saw you naked, we broke up.
323
00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:56,808
Are you gonna be all right?
324
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:57,897
Oh, yeah.
325
00:15:01,074 --> 00:15:02,379
Not gonna do
anything crazy?
326
00:15:02,466 --> 00:15:03,859
Oh, come on,
go take a shower.
327
00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:05,382
Okay.
328
00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:07,471
[sighs]
329
00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:25,968
It's like she doesn't
know me at all.
330
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:34,542
Yes, I want a medium
meat lover's pizza
331
00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:35,978
with cheese in the crust.
332
00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:38,763
Yes, and some crazy bread.
333
00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:41,897
Hello, Rudolph.
334
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,986
Bonnie.
335
00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:46,336
How'd you get in my house?
336
00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:48,034
Oh, please.
Who sleeps with a man
337
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:50,036
and doesn't steal
his spare keys?
338
00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:53,300
Okay. What do you want?
339
00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:54,910
What I want is to hurt you.
340
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:57,913
But not physically, because...
341
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,524
you might like that.
342
00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:03,527
But on an emotional level,
like you hurt me.
343
00:16:03,614 --> 00:16:05,834
No, you are barking up
the wrong tree, sister,
344
00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:08,010
because I stopped
feeling years ago.
345
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:09,446
Really?
346
00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:11,405
We'll see.
347
00:16:11,492 --> 00:16:13,407
Hmm.
348
00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:16,801
"1957 Château Latour."
349
00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:17,846
Ooh, sounds fancy.
350
00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:25,288
[groaning]
351
00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:31,164
Thank you.
352
00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:33,166
And for my next trick,
353
00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:36,517
I will attempt to juggle
three bottles of...
354
00:16:36,604 --> 00:16:39,215
ooh, Montrachet.
355
00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:41,000
Oh, ooh, ooh.
356
00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:44,351
Aw.
357
00:16:44,438 --> 00:16:47,223
I'm not very good.
358
00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:51,706
[high-pitched groaning]
359
00:16:56,841 --> 00:16:58,843
[high-pitched wail]
360
00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:05,241
Okay, I lied.
I didn't just get clean.
361
00:17:06,982 --> 00:17:08,984
Mom?
362
00:17:10,681 --> 00:17:12,683
Mom?
363
00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:15,034
Oh, damn it!
364
00:17:18,646 --> 00:17:21,475
No.
365
00:17:21,562 --> 00:17:25,131
And this Mouton Rothschild
is for little Jimmy,
366
00:17:25,218 --> 00:17:26,871
who's sick in the hospital.
367
00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:30,527
Please, no more.
368
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:32,877
And this Chateau Montelena
is for all the wine snobs
369
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:35,054
and their nutty top notes.
370
00:17:37,926 --> 00:17:38,448
[Boston accent]:
Enough!
371
00:17:38,535 --> 00:17:39,928
Stop!
372
00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:41,973
I can't take it anymore.
373
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:42,974
Good.
374
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,716
Come to me.
375
00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:48,067
Oh, my God, you're magnificent.
376
00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:53,289
Now what?
377
00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:57,598
Suckle.
378
00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:12,569
Hello?
379
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,750
Oh, my God, I'm too late.
380
00:18:19,837 --> 00:18:21,535
RUDY [Boston accent]:
Ah, ah, oh, yeah, Bonnie,
381
00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:24,015
right there, wicked hard!
382
00:18:27,062 --> 00:18:29,412
Who the hell is that?
383
00:18:37,464 --> 00:18:39,553
Mmm.
384
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,424
Oh, my God.
385
00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:44,819
This duck pâté is so much
better than corned beef.
386
00:18:44,906 --> 00:18:47,909
Yeah, and the house won't
smell like a thousand egg farts.
387
00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:48,518
[phone ringing]
388
00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:49,519
Mm.
389
00:18:52,479 --> 00:18:54,481
Hello.
390
00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:55,830
Oh, hi, Chef Rudy.
391
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,397
Thanks for the
picnic basket.
392
00:18:57,484 --> 00:19:00,487
Yeah, I know
it's not for me.
393
00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:03,229
What's up?
394
00:19:03,316 --> 00:19:05,970
Hang on, let me
see if she's here.
395
00:19:06,057 --> 00:19:06,754
[mouthing]
396
00:19:06,841 --> 00:19:09,452
She's not here.
397
00:19:09,539 --> 00:19:11,498
Can I take a message?
398
00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:13,413
Oh, s-slow down,
let me grab a pen.
399
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,158
Go ahead.
400
00:19:23,292 --> 00:19:26,077
"The... the
dark, violent turn
401
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:29,255
our love play took
last night haunts me."
402
00:19:36,523 --> 00:19:38,133
Wait, say again.
403
00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:42,790
"The wine cork will
remain where it is
404
00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:44,792
as a sign of
my commitment."
405
00:19:44,879 --> 00:19:46,881
[loud pop]
406
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:53,148
All right, I'll be sure
she gets the message.
407
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:55,759
Of course I won't tell
anyone at the restaurant.
408
00:19:58,632 --> 00:20:00,199
Bye-bye.
409
00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:03,985
I think someone's
sweet on you.
410
00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:05,378
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
411
00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:06,988
and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
412
00:20:07,075 --> 00:20:09,469
and TOYOTA.
27123
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof