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ROMANIA _ BUCHAREST

Agent Nine,

your mission is to obtain the device
containing nuclear launch codes

for weapons we know will be used
imminently

to wreak havoc of epic proportions.

In the event you do not succeed,

D. I. S. C. O. will deny any and all
connection to you or your actions.

Good luck, Agent Nine.

Hey, babe. It's go-time.

Confirm, go-time.

You always tell me what I want to hear,
keep it up.

That's what I'm here for.

Let's see…

Bogdan Lazar, two p.m.

How may I help you, sir?

I have a appointment with Mister
Bogdan Lazar.

I'm Andrei Petrescu.

Do you have identification?

Doina Gheorghiu.

Can we hurry it up, alittle?

-Are you pressed for time?
-No.

There's a figurine of the Little Prince
behind her.

From the 'Nain Bleu'"

The Nain Bleu?

Uh… your Little Prince, did you

get him at the Nain Bleu toy shop
in Paris, I love that place.

I did actually, I went there on vacation
recently.

-Can I take a look at it?
-Sure.

I am obsessed with statuettes.

It's a little embarrassing at my age

promise you won't tell?

Your secrets safe.

This one's my favorite, but
I'm obsessed as well.

You have a long list to get done,

flirting isn't on it.

-Ready.
-I love it.

I doubt Mister Lazar has any of those.

Your two o'clock is here.

Mister Andrei Petrescu, sir;

would you like me to send him up to your
office now?

-Yes of course, Doina.
-Thank you, sir.

Voice match is nearly perfect, even his
mother wouldn't catch on.

I hope the prince knows…

how lucky he is.

Normally you'd've gotten me up there
in half the time.

What's the problem?

There's no problem, it's all good.

-I'm sleep deprived as usual, that's all.
-Still working on making that baby, hunh?

I can't keep up, folic acid daily,
no jerking off, b-vitamins, ovulation

schedules, oh, thanks for reminding me,
I forgot.

Agent Nine,

we don't have to report vitamins
for sexual stamina, right?

Fuck me!

AH!

I think those last words should
be directed at your wife, Ertan.

I wasn't talking to you, I banged my head.

Two floors to go I think.

You think? What's wrong with you.

You try reading all these screens
with glasses falling off your face.

-Security cameras?
-Of course, and they're top notch.

I'm glad you're impressed.

But I'm hoping you're gonna take care
of them?

FCB's active and stable.

Get everyone's info from the database
and tell me…

Goddam it to fucking hell!

-What?
-Nothing. I spilled my coffee.

Jesus Christ, go to fucking voice mail.

Okay, you're good, just keep
strutting your stuff.

Straight ahead. Uh…

-Hey! Are you the two o'clock?
-That's Bogdan Lazar.

-Yes, I'll be home for dinner.
-Not if you don't answer my question.

-You gotta think fast.
-I was just waiting for a friend.

This friend do they have a name?

Hagi.

Hagi?

Huh? Ha! Hagi.

Mh!

Mh!

Hagi?

If you had a better one, you shoulda
said so.

What? No, no, no, no.

-Shit!
-Now what, do I abort?

Not, keep going. It's nothing. Focus on
the job.

-Focus on the job?
-Mh!

Ertan.

If you hadn't noticed,

I'm risking my life here.
Get your shit together, man.

You're really starting to piss me off.

So sorry, mister special agent.

I'm so damn comfortable in here.

You're the only one whose job
is stressful.

Giant black door straight ahead.

It's got the retina scan on the left.

On your three.

Am I supposed to break through the wall?

Two fifteen, then, it's the legionnaire's
helmet

pedestal. Fucking concentrate.

The legionnaire's helmet.

The helmet is one o'clock at the most.

You wanna take a break now and discuss
or get to work?

The mechanism is under the table.

Just plug in the device. The system's
ready to go.

You're welcome.

Always be nice to your tech staff, right
Agent Nine?

Oh… holy shit!

What's wrong?

Again? Why does she keep calling?

Hello, sweetheart.

Is someone coming?

This isn't the best time, I'm kind of
in the middle of something.

-Ertan!
-Down the hall to the right.

My dad wants to talk to you, honey.

-Hey, son, did you see that game?
-Yeah, hi, dad.

-I recorded it to watch after work.
-Best penalty kick of the season.

Third door. I mean, second, sorry.

So we'll need those figures by next week.

Sorry.

Get security up here, we have an
intruder.

Ertan, baby,
I'm starting to think you don't like me.

Yeah, I've got my father-in-law
on the line, give me two seconds.

I walked into a meeting and they called
security.

Shit!

You're right, they're on their way.

You two, cover the stairs. Move, move!

You two, go to the boardroom.

If I make it out, I swear I will get
you fired.

For crying out loud! Fuck!

Ertan!

I got carried away earlier, and I
apologize for being so harsh.

But if the helicopter's not on the
roof when I get there,

You're so full of yourself, Nine, you
forgot we all wentthrough the same basic

training.

I know how to throw punches,
handle weapons, escape capture,

you're not that special.

The only reason you're out there,
and I'm in here is because people think

spies have to look like movie stars.

But only one of us is typing up
the post-mortem on this mission back

at HQ, right?

Someone's been reading too much of
his own fan mail.

Bring it on, Nine.

Finish this and we'll settle this at HQ.

Right here like you thought, boss.

Excellent.

Such a masterful operation,

youreally killed it on this mission.

We were on the edge of our seats
watching it all go down.

You don't know how much I've wanted this.

This is Zoran Dragic signing off
with love to all his viewers.

What the hell happened out there?

It started with Ahem operational

issues that caused some communication

breakdown,

and, as I stated in my report, I got
a migraine and took some

aspirin and it caused a minor security
glitch.

Minor?

Yes.

You've been seeing a therapist
once a week for months, isn't that right?

-We know, but does your wife?
-No,

Seda doesn't know.

I mean, it's more like paying someone to
chat

and listen to my personal stuff.

You're still required to report this
to HR, though.

The rules here at DISCO are very clear;

whoever you share things with

has to have been fully vetted.

I've had a lot of sleepless nights for
a while now.

Not just because of the job, but…

a lot of the um…stress

linked to performance comes from here.

Although I don't think it's affected
my work or caused any major problems

so far.

Bring it on, Nine. Finish this and we'll
settle this at HQ.

No!

Nine! Oh my God, I can't breathe.

Fuck!

I lost one of my best and most valuable
agents.

And along with Agent Nine

we lost the device with the launch codes.

And you royally fucked up the best
van in my fleet.

Mr. Vehbi!

Don't talk to my agent like that.
Get the fuck out.

The people paid for that van with their
taxes.

Shushittyshush.

You really did do a number on
our best van.

Ertan,
you're taking a leave from this job.

Three weeks. We've booked you a nice
getaway.

Relax.

Watch movies, enjoy the sunset.

We'll see what we want to do when you
get back.

-Good?
-Not sure I have a choice.

You do not.

You can take Seda with you.

I'm sure it'll help get your swimmers
into

-home port.
-Did my therapist tell you we're tring?

Mhm He's been on our payroll for years.

I can't say I'm surprised, because
whenever I'd say something, he'd answer:

'You're too generous with your thoughts.'
What kinda therapist does that?

-Enjoy your vacation.
-Yes, boss.

D.I.S.C.O.

NORTHERN CYPRUS. NICOSIA

Thank you, have a good one.

-The guy who made a scene earlier,
-He's probably just a nervous flyer.

I sure hope they send him back.

Iswear, Zafer…

if you ever do that again,

I will throw you off the plane myself.

What're you so pissed about?

I paid good money for first class.

We get all the food and drink we want,
says so right here.

Champagne is included in the price,
so where does the waitress get

off telling meand they're cutting me off?
Pour me a drink, that's her job,

isn't it?

Could you stop being so dramatic.
Her jobis to ensure safety,

all she said was that she had to put
away the champagne and to put your

-seatbelt on.
-For the landing.

I heard her.

Is she the one landing the thing, no
she is not.

The pilot's doing that.

But even that's too easy; the computers
do all the work and all he has to

do is stear straight.

Sure baby, of course. Let's just
get to the luggage area.

I could do it with my eyes closed.
And serve a damn drink.

Can you believe that idiot's stills
quawking about the champagne.

Don't let himget to you. We're here
on vacation. It's all good, we

finally got the getaway we needed,
just you and me and lots of time for

romance.

Sorry if I let it get to me, but
it's been a while since I got to travel.

Give me that before you lose it.

But we're here now.

You finally got the trip you wanted
Leave the stress behind.

It's just the two of us.

If you recall, I've been asking
you to leave the stress behind for

at least three years.

And you were right which is why we have
just landed her in Cyprus.

Ertan, wait,
you didn't plan too much stuff, did you?

Not between sunset and midnight?
I'm putting us on a new schedule.

It turns out sperm are at their top
swimming form between sunset

and midnight.

I was kinda hoping we could play it by
ear while we were here.

I bought new lingerie.

We can have some extra sessions,

but I really need you to work with
me here.

You do want to be a dad, don't you?

Is this your suitcase?

Oh, I guess we should look for our bags,
then.

We remind all passengers not to
leeave their bags unattended;

any unattend bags are subject to
inspection.

-There's mine already.
-That's quick.

Hey, where're you going?

Yo?! Stop!

Where do you think you're going with my
suitcase?

Ah monsieur, lâchez cette valise.
Il s'agit de ma valise.

-I know; but let's stay out of it.
-It's the guy from the plane.

Immédiatement lâcher la valise ou
j'appelle la police.

La police-uh! Monsieur, that's my
suitcase, and I want it. Get your

-hands off.
-And why is he so loud?

Steal from someone else.

Zafer, it's possible we have the
same suitcase, look at the name tag to

-You know why I bought this, Aynur?
-make sure.

Monsieur, ça suffit, il s'agit de ma
valise.

-Arrêtez, voyons!
-D'you hear that?

He's trying to make a scene so we give
up.

Calm down.

Is Cyprus the scam capital of the world?
Is this how they treat people?

Thief!

Ce monsieur est complètement fou,
appelez la police! La police!

Drop my suitcase. I'm not falling for
this.

Sécurité! Il est fou! Appelez la police!
Tout de suite! Il essaie de voler

ma valise. S'il-vous-plait! La police!

The baggage claim isn't where I want
to discuss this. I've had it up to

here, and this guy's breaking my
eardrums.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Uh do you speak English?

Yes, of course I do. Thank you for coming.
This suitcase is mine.

I just want to go to my hotel.

If this unpolite gentleman

-gives me the permission.
-Let's go, he speaks English.

Is it possible you have the same bag?
Seriously?

You think there's two suitcases
that color?

And he says I'm impolite when he
refused to speak English until you

helped him? It's my suitcase.
The frog's a scammer.

Pretending he's offended because we
caught him.

He wants to talk to you?
He should get lost; g'head, tell 'im.

Look, look, look, look, look. I have
an idea. Let's open the suitcase.

We will check.

Sounds reasonable. That'll prove whose
suitcase it is.

No way, I don't want to open it.

Why don't you want to?

It's private, I have a lot of
personal things I don't want you to see.

-This is my stuff, I don't want people
-It's still pretty heated, so I'm just

-seeing my underwear.
-making sure they're not gonna hurt

each other.

I can't open it because I have toys
in there.

-Toys for what?
-Toys for having fun at hotels.

-Sex toys?
-Uhuh

Zafer!

We're almost finished. And please
don't say anything, I got these as a

little surprise, if ya know what I mean.

Our friend's got embarrassing things in
there, but too bad.

Dude, come on.

Something for later.

We're all adults here, just open it.

Would you please shut up already, I'm not
opening it; it's not the kind of thing

-What is it?
-you share.

They're rings that vibrate all the way
around, and then make you see stars

-and maybe God.
-Rings for your fingers?

-Why would I want to vibrate my fingers?
-I don't know, maybe you have arthritis?

It's a cock ring.

Zafer.

Coming, baby. Why're you acting so
shocked, you made me say it.

I'm trying to be discrete here. It's a
vibrating cock ring that drives

you crazy and is all the rage; it's a
surprise and I don't want my wife

to see it. Enough with the interrogation.

He's calling the police if you don't
open it. Unless it's sitting right

on top, no one's gonna see your ring.

G'ahead, open it.

Open the damn suitcase.

This is my punishment for trying to spice
things up a little.

So just open the damn thing, and show
everyone our sex toys.

Honey, come closer, I want to tell you
something.

So embarrassing.

-Can we please go to the hotel now?
-Just so you know, I did this for you!

-Just act casual and don't look back.
-Is it the handcuffs again?

No, it's something that Miray told
Funda who told Huseyin.

He told me it changed his life.
He never heard her cry out like that.

So I went and got some;
handcuffs are just for foreplay!

What the fu…

Et voila monsieur!

This is my

suitcase.

-Mh!
-There you go, monsieur.

-Mh! Voilà! Monsieur!
-Zafer, the bags are finally here!

Can you get mine, please?

Please, don't do that again.

Voulez-vous Uh… coucher avec moi…

Ah!

-Forget it.
-Such a tourist.

He was rude to you.

I only know "je t'aime" and I can't
say that to a dude.

-Honey,
-Mm!

-This hotel must cost a fortune.
-Mm!

Are you sure everything's paid for?

What's so funny?

Seda.

Don't worry about it.

I told you it's all covered.

My beautiful wife deserves a five-star
vacation since she's been bugging me

for three years to get away.

Aaah! Ertan!

I called in a favor with my friend.
He works for the hotel chain.

We are going to

check in and enjoy some peace and quiet
and relaxation.

Ah! Ah!

Ah!

Aah!

Oh! AH! AH! AH! Aw!

Aw! Ertan! It's just petals.

Ah!

Thank you, you're so good.

I don't have any money for gratituities
sorry.

Welcome to our hotel.

Welcome to you both.

We hope you enjoyed our small gesture for

Your suite is all ready for you.

Special guests.

You're already checked in, and someone
will take your luggage for you.

That all sounds great.

Ertan,
your friend really owed you one I guess?

Ya know… but he is kind of a show-off.

-Zafer.
-Hh?

That's the couple who helped us at the
airport.

Yeah, it is.

I know they bring the band out for VIP
customers.

I don't think so.

I think they do it for everybody.

This kinda placetreats everybody
like a VIP

-Watch. Ahem
-Welcome to our hotel.

-Hello, how are you?
-Good afternoon.

-Checking in.
-Zafer Kirik, and my wife Aynur.

Bandirma Hairdressers Blow-dry Cup
Champion.

You should have it in there along
with the three day gift certificate I

won for our stay here. So far so good.

-The hotel's like the brochure, and the
-So gorgeous.

Lovely greeting with the band really
takes it to the next level.

Here you are.
Your room is all set for you.

What about the band?

And the flowers and stuff?

No.

I guess those guys are important.

Uh… remind to apologize when see Ithem.
Mh!

Top of my list, for sure.

Thank you so much.

Wow! This is amazing!

Ertan!

I've never seen so many balloons.

Mh!

This is my favorite.

Just like them to go completely
overboard.

-It's funny
-Huh!

I don't remember you mentioning
this friend. You must be really close.

So close.

A-aah! I love everything in here.

I feel like a princess.

Tss

Oh, Zafer. This is the best room ever.

They even have separate shampoo AND
conditioner!

And there's goodies.

Theres body lotion, a brand new
shower cap.

Even a nail file!

We can ask for extra and take them back
to the salon.

-Not on the first day, they'll know.
-Then we'll take them off the carts.

Sweetie,

thank you so much for winning this prize.

This is gonna be so much fun.

D'you throw your back out?

My back, no, why?

Can't a man have two seconds
without being asked what he's up to?

That's not what I asked! You've been
acting crazyall day, what's going on?

-I have not. You're the one who's crazy.
-You're in a mood, I'm taking a bath.

Go take a bath, see if I care.

How do I open this thing?

The ring's in there.

Huh

I guess that's the end.

Are you eating for two?

You don't usually eat rice and
potatoes at the same time, do you?

I always panic at the buffet, there's too
many choices. And no, I'm not eating for

two as you know.

Why would you mix the carbs together,
you know you can go back. And it's

-kind of wasteful.
-It's not wasteful if I eat it.

And look at the mess you've got going on
there.

You're the one who piled it on here,
I didn't even want the shrimp; you could

feed a pod of dolphins with this.

Cuz shrimp have omega-threes
that'll boost your swimmers.

-Really?
-Seafood helps concentration and motility.

-Oh, so now you think I can't concentrate?
-No, I mean't your sperm.

-Oh!
-Hey, look who's here.

-They flew here with us.
-Ah! Right.

With the French guy earlier.
With the same suitcase.

Seafood looks good, hunh?

What a coincidence you and your
lovely wife staying here, too.

Good to see you.

-Bye now.
-We love to travel.

Enjoy your stay.

-Bye.
-Make friends.

I love rice and potatoes all together.
Make me a plate like that, would you?

-You want shrimp?
-Eeeh…

Oh!

-Holy cow, leave some forthe others.
-Good evening, thank you.

We'll be over here By the window.
Take your time.

-Okay.
-Excellent choice.

-Love the view.
-You know there're plenty of other tables.

-This is perfect. I love booths.
-They're intimate.

And romantic. My friend.

You saved me earlier.

They say French is the language of love,
but that's not whatt hat guy

-sounded like. You saved my vacation.
-Don't mention it.

-I swear to God…
-My wife, who's off getting

more food but should be here any second,
she told me,

'Ohmy god, without him we'd still
be standing at the caroussel arguing'.

I kid you not.

-Where'd she go? Aynur!
-Wow.

Aynur! Aynur!

Double date, hurry.

I'm starving. Bring the spuds.

Puree, please and spread it out all flat.

Hurry! You guys live in the city, right?

You've got that stressed out look
about you.

This is where we're from.
Bandirma, ten point five;

only Turkey's greatest place to live.

I was recently crowned Blow Dry Cup
Champion.

-Ah, congratulations.
-Thank you.

-What does that mean?
-It's for making hair look good.

I know what blow-dry means. Was is
this contest?

Ah. It's for the industry.

If you own a hair salon for women
in Bandirma, you can enter the Blow-dry

Cup competiton,

and we go for twenty-four hours as
many clients as we can.

Four bridal parties,

ten perms, forty color treatments
and over one hundred blow dries

to win the championship.

-Impressive.
-I have a card.

You come see us anytime.

Ahenk Hair Styling, Bandirma.

Here you go.

Just pop in, I'll take you right away.

Ahenk Hair Styling.

It's got all the information on there,
so keep it safe.

So you're a hairdresser?

I just told I do more than just cut
hair. I like to think of myself as a

-Hairmagician.
-Mmh.

Zafer the Great.

-So many choices. Hope you like it.
-Ah, hey.

I panicked.

-Hi.
-I'm glad you didn't wait.

-Our luggage hero.
-Good thing you were there.

Uh… Aynur Kirk.

We're married.

Mmh.

If you hadn't been at the airport,
our entire three days would've been

-ruined, so I insist
-Go, girl.

And don't try to argue,

we're buying you dinner.

It's an all-inclusive resort.

-She forgot.
-You really don't owe us anything;

your bags would've been sorted out.

I'm sure you two are capable of

-travelling on your own.
-You're sweet;

but it's new for us.
You have a business card?

No, I work
for a company as an accountant.

And my wife teaches kindergarten.

Yeah?

A lot of crying babies and asses to
wipe, right?

I have four, so I know what it's like.

You made them all by yourself?

Henh?

You said you had four kids, are you a
single dad?

-You didn't say the two of you have kids.
-Ah!

Haha!

His first wife did all the work
with the kids.

Uh… Before I knew him.

I like older men.

It's only been six months; we're still
newlyweds.

-Six months already?
-Yes.

I thought it was six weeks.

-Congratulations. I mean it.
-Thanks.

This is our honeymoon since it's hard to
get away when the salon's so busy.

Working together's not always easy.

But we're all friends here, so I
know you'll understand what I mean.

Uh,
after my first marriage didn't work out,

I gave upon love.

Then this minx comes out of nowhere.

Applies for a job doing nails and
all of sudden Aye not so hard.

Then I fell in love with her;

I was on a roll, you pulled too hard
and ruined it.

So my kids.

They live with their mom most of the
time but…

we're very close. This is them.

-Cute, aren't they?
-Mmh

-Yes they are.
-You've very lucky, congrats.

We're probably going to start working on
another one soon.

One or two more. We should start trying
real soon. If you guys don't have any,

you should try; it's exhausting but also
rewarding as hell.

Please don't be offended.

It's my husband and mine's first
vacation in three years,

he saved you and you feel a connection,

-and so, he helped out, right, doesn't
-I helped out.

Matter, and basically that's in the past
now.

Okay? So,

if you'll excuse us, we need some time
to ourselves.

Quit eating. Let's go.

One more.

Ertan.

-I'm coming.
-I'm tired.

Nice to meet you, enjoy your meal.

-Honey?!
-Coming, coming.

Did you see the mountain of shrimp that
guy put away?

I love shrimp; we can share.

Okay, but we're not eating his leftovers;
get some fresh ones.

Shush, just sit and enjoy the view.

You were pretty harsh back there, honey.

I couldn't help it.

He was droning on and on about his
kids, it was so annoying.

I do think they're a pretty nice,
don't you?

You think I'm a bad person?

I'm so impatient these days, Ertan.

You're a frickin' saint, honey.

Don't beat yourself up over that idiot.

We're here to get some well deservedrest
and enjoy that fancy suite of ours.

Ertan?

Is that so we stay on schedule?

Of course.

-Although this alarm isn't for love
-Mmh.

Making, this alarm is to remind me to
get some champagne.

-You know how I love bubbles.
-Yes I do.

You go on in. Just relax.
I'll be right back with the bubbly.

Champagne and caviar.

-Don't take too long, mama's thirsty.
-I'll be quick, I promise.

Why're they calling?

Hi, boss.

Ertan, I know you're on vacation.

Normally, we wouldn't call you
when you're on leave,

-but we have a situation.
-How bad?

Zoran Dragic.

The one who killed Nine.

He's a Serbian terrorist wanted by
Interpol.

We're doing everything we can to
capture him.

And retrieve the nuclear launch codes
he stole from us.

This is urgent.

Should he launch,

millions of innocent lives will be wiped
out in seconds.

Well,

I'm sure there's a few bad apples in
there.

It's funny you should say that, because
there's someone else.

Dragic's just a middle man, but we
don't know whose pulling the strings.

No one's ever seen him.

So for now the name is…

-Alpha dog.
-Alpha dog.

Dragic's meeting with Korean buyers
in Malta was compromised, so there were

last minute changes.

They rescheduled a new time and location.

That's a good move.

Would you care to guess where it's at
now, Ertan?

Mmh.

Ertan.

The exchange is supposed to go down
in the hotel we just put you in.

Ah. So you're going to relocate us so we
should pack up and head out.

That was the plan because Agent
thirteen was on this assignment.

Only he was tortured and killed in Riga
so he's gone.

Ohh

Thirteen is gone, too?

Which one was thirteen, again?

I lose track of all the names and
numbers.

Was he the blond one with the mean
streak or the long-haired anti-vaxxer

-with the stutter?
-Ertan.

Boss?!

There are dangerous entities trading
nuclear launch codes

heading your way and you're the only
one who can stop them.

Ahh! It's a mission.

You're asking me to replace
Agent Thirteen in a pinch,

only my specialty is tech support.

So I'm not saying no,

I just don't think I can go after
terrorists, I'm more of a behind the

scenes guy.
Anything to do with computers, I'm good.

You went through basic training,
didn't you?

You can do this.

And anyway, all the equipment for
this mission's already at the hotel.

I'm not built for confrontation.

Am I not getting through to you?

I think the connection in here is
no good; it sounds

like you want me out in the field,
and I can't.

-I'm not your guy.
-Ertan!

Either you follow my orders and go after
these guys like I tell you, or pack

your bags and tell your wife you got
fired.

It'll take a miracle for me to get it
from them.

A miracle and top-notch spy shit.

Agent seventy-three, we're counting on
you.

Why can't you get Seventy-two?

I mean, there's like sixty other agents,
before me.

We have helicopters on stand-by.

This Dragic sounds like a real bastard.

Who does he think he is?

Asshole's got another thing coming.

We're gonna mess that fucker up,
we're gonna shove those nuclear codes

where the sun don't shine.

Nuclear codes, what the hell are you
talking about?

I'm in!

I was stationed in Alanya fora
my military service for a year, putting

-terroritsts in their place was my job.
-You mean, tourists.

No differene, trust me.

There's a huge difference, tourists are
just loud and drunk.

Huh. I don't know why you were listening,
or what you think you heard earlier;

but it's just an ongoing joke with my
colleagues when one of us is on vacation.

That's bullshit and I know that
lady's your boss.

I also realize a good agent wouldn't
trust just anyone,

So I'm going to show you I don't have any
wires.

Or bugs or spying gizmos;
I'm just a loyal patriot.

I've put in fourten hour days on my feet
for years, I 'm in shape.

I am a wizzard with scissors! I love my
job, but if your boss wants me to

use my skills for this mission, then
I'm all in.

Zafer, put your clothes back on. You
misunderstood, there's no mission.

I heard her say mission; Right after she
rose

and before
she evaporated or whatever that was.

There could be millions of orphans
if we don't stop them.

I don't want that on my conscience.

I read this in the parenting book.

Babies recognize the voices and
music they heard in the womb so we'll

be singing to my belly a lot.

I'll learn new songs.

They have blue eyes and see blurry when
they're new, I love it.

It goes away later.

Their little hands and feet get cold
easily, so we have to be careful.

The best place to check if their cold,
though, is the neck.

We'll turn up the heat if it is.

-Ertan.
-Uh!

I took a lover.

Yeah, I forgot, I'll make sure it
gets done, though.

Ertan.

-Ah!
-You're not paying attention.

Ah-ah-ah- ah-ah I got light headed.
You try blowing this up.

Are you staring at girls?

-No
-Are you checking out the hairdresser?

Hair magician.

Hair magician!

-Zafer.
-Mh!

They don't want to hang with us,
they just want peace and quiet.

That was just and excuse cuz they think
they're better than us.

Nobody, and I mean nobody,
is better than we are.

I'm kinda thirsty, you go in while I get
some drinks.

-I wanted to swim together.
-We'll swim together after we drink.

-Get somewater while you're at it, honey.
-Sure, yeah.

You absolutely need to slow down on the
booze.

The hotel staff brought you to the room,
half-conscious.

You passed out right away but you kept

So I got a little drunk!

Mumbling about a ring in your sleep.

All that stress on the plane and the
bags,

and all that shrimp made me thirsty.

You wanna call the police on me while
you're at it?

I'm going to get us some drinks.

I'll get us some drinks, then we swim.
It's a free country, I can go at the

same time.

Do you work as a team?

-A team of what?
-Come on.

-Your drinks, sir.
-Thank you so much.

You knocked me out with a super-sonic
tranquilizer, my friend.

-Super what?
-Come on, man, don't play innocent.

I've been in your sights since welanded
here.

In my sights?

You and your wife invited me and my wife
to sit with you in a public place

with tons of windows.

Covered all the view points.
All those reflections.

Then I whip out my wallet to show you

my family and

all of a sudden things get tense.
You and your wife go,

knowing I would feel I insulted you
and want to make it right

so I follow you, she goes in
you sneak down the hall,

then that lady comes out of thin

you get me to take all of my clothes off,

air talking spy shit,

cuz you don't want your prints on my
clothes,

and then I show you how I'm not wired
but 'Schlock!' supersonic blaster in

my face.

-Go on.
-I don't know, maybe you're bisexual.

If I were, I'd have told you to bring
your toys.

You're a secret agent, then.

Those are the choices? Really.

I took advantage of you or my boss is
running a network of spies.

Look, we were on the same plane.

The flight was bumpy and there
were drinks.

They cut you off, you had luggage issues,

you got here,
you had more champagne and passed out.

Or you saw God,

if that vibrating ring works like
you say it does.

Maybe you tried it out and you gave it
too much juice.

It's your honeymoon, Zafer.

Relax and enjoy it.

Too much juice?

I wasn't there, but come on… it's gotta
be.

I don't remember much after I
followed you to your room.

Must've been the bubbles.

-I gotta lay off. Is that your phone?
-Leave the stress behind.

Uhuh!

Here's my phone number in case you
need it.

You never know.

Hair Magician Zafer's the contact.

I'm here for three days if you
need anything, or if you just want to

grab a beer.

-I mean it, I still feel like I owe you.
-I know where to reach you; thanks again.

-I wasn't following you.
-Of course you weren't.

-Take care.
-You should try these.

They're good.

Sure, if you insist; I was gonna order
something else.

Aynur! I got us fancy cocktails.

-Ooh.
-They're free.

PARKING LOT-2

Oh, your timing sucks.

Hehh?

Christ,

I can't figure out where to sit in this
damn thing.

Hom am I supposed to figure out
how to stop bad guys?

Phew,

at least the pedals are in the
same place.

Seatbelt… and we're off.

Ready seventy-three?

Jesus, Sukru, don't call me that.

You got this, Ertan.

D'you get a camera in here?

I don't see one.

The rearview mirror.

That's a good idea.

The lens.

The coffee thermos, on your left.

Thermos. Anything else?

A hundred and fifty liras behind the

-sun visor.
-Sun visor.

A rosary on the gear stick, and
gum in the glove box.

The rosary is a transmitter?

No, it's just a rosary. Supposed to be
oltu stone.

Geez I don't have time to pray.

I suppose the gum is the explosive?

Just spearmint far as I know.

Thank god it wasn't something fruity;
Sukru,

if I get in there and the crap hits
the fan, what do I do?

Bro, this is strictly surveillance.

No intervention. Just point and shoot.

Argh shit!

I was supposed to be on vacation.

Are you in? What's the hold up?

The system's a bit slow in here, but I'm
almost in.

Just a few more seconds.

And we're good.

Are you there yet?

I've got eyes on the prize.

I got a ride from the bus station with
my brother in law and we stopped for

coffee.

You need to brush up on your lingo, you
can't say' are you there yet'.

-You gotta ask me if I'm in position.
-I was trying it out.

We've been going freestyle since you
got canned.

I was suspended.

Obviously I'm still working.

My bad; sorry.

Can you get any sound?

No.

Bro, Zoran Dragic is the only one who
knows who Alpha Dog is and where

he's located…

Most likely, he's talking to the
Korean buyers on video call

If they're on a computer screen, you need
to get a visual.

If I try to do that, I'll be in their
line of sight.

It's better if I wait to see if I can get
a shot from here.

What kind of gum is this for fuck's sake,
Sukru!

Are you trying to kill me? Jesus.

Somebody's in here!

-AAAAAH!
-AAAAAH!

Sukru!

There. Hurry up!

After him! Hurry up, get in the cars.

Ertan, get in!

No, bro'! What are you doing?

-Sorry, I forgot the steering wheel was
-There's a door

-on the other side.
-on this side. It's so stupid. But

step on it! Go!

Why would you make cars that drive on
the wrong side of the road?

Who cares, fasten your seatbelt and
shut up.

It's so impractical, I don't get it.

I am not supposed to confront bad guys.

I'm a technical support specialist
for fuck's sake?

Fate brought us together, bro;
we're gonna see this mission through.

You and I are not on a mission!

You're a fucking hairdresser!

Hair magician, alright.

Finish him!

They're shooting.

Stay down, Zafer.

Stay down, my ass; these guys don't know
who they're dealing with.

AAAAH!

How did you find me, my wife doesn't even
know where I went.

I added your phone to location sharing on
my phone when I shared my number.

Your security sucks,
are you sure you passed agent training?

Ugh! I told you I'm not an agent!

I don't work in the field!

Bullshit! If you're not an agent, why
are guys shooting bullets at us?

Ah!

-Ugh.
-Ugh.

You might be chickenshit, but you are
an agent.

Your boss said ahalf a billion lives are
at stake with those codes.

You throw out new numbers like you're
converting to old Lira.

Is that good or bad?

Who cares, just watch the road.

Hold on tight, I'm gonna lose one of 'em.

Aah!

If we die here today, there's one
thing I want you to know.

It was an honor to serve my country
with you.

Crash into that walland get it over with
drive, drive!

Hell no. The coward dies

ten million deaths,

-the brave man only once. AAAAH!
-AAAAH!

Watch it, watch it, there's a car coming!

Jesus take the wheel!

I'm born to be an agent, you wanna know
why I believe that, Ertan?

I really don't.

It runs in the family.

He was my dad's little brother.

My favorite uncle.

He was my hero.
I grew up listening to his stories.

I guess he didn't keep secrets like he
should

He died in Singapore.

I swore to myself that day

I would avenge his death.

And I can finally say I'm doing that.

I'm crying now because of you.

Your family's been running small
businesses in Bandirma for generations.

Your uncle sells pottery in a small
shop in the Merkez Efendi area.

He's never been out of the neighbourhood

he has two grown kids who are married,
and his bank account shows he

deals mostly in cash,

and when he says he's playing chess
with his buddies he's actually with

a waitress named Suzan.

-Your aunt should divorce that asshole.
-They got back together, then?

We already broke them up twice; he swore
that it was over.

The heart wants what it wants.
You saved my life back there, thank you.

S'what partners do, man.

Oh! Pfff!

Partners is a stretch.

I tell you exactly what to do.

You follow my orders, no questions
whatsoever, understood?

If this is gonna work, you follow my
lead, Zafer.

-You swear?
-Swear on my mother's life.

You won't regret this, Ertan.

Is that one of those self-steering cars?

Windshield was already shot. So…

good riddance.

Okay, so…

my dad's partner, the one we call Uncle
Gazanfer,

He is your biological father.

-What?!
-Just seeing if you're listening.

-That's mean, you can't go making jokes
-Works like charm every time.

Like that. Uh-oh! Suspicious civilian
eleven o'clock; watching us closely.

-He's got glasses, could be recording.
-Looks like a potential threat, partner.

He looked like he was spying.
I'll stun him real quick, let me have it.

-For God's sake!
-I know you have one.

Ertan,

everything you need to continue your
mission is in the room you just entered.

It's come to our attention that Dragic is
a huge fan of the singer performing at

the cabaret this evening.

Your next task is to switch places
with the singer before the start of

the show, and get close to Dragic.

You'll convince him to take you up to his
room where he keeps his computer and

the only way to communicate with the
Alpha Dog.

Best of luck, Agent Seventy-three.

You have to plug this thing in?

No, I had it set up to jam signals.

So no one could access the room.

That's too bad, it's a really nice one.

Yesssssss.

Oh yeah!

Undercover disco D.J.?

Department of International Spyness and
Crime Organization is what it stands for.

So there's no dancing?

It's an acronym hh.

-That's spy lingo?
-Sure.

Cool.

Do all agents get this stuff?

You shouldn't do that.

I'm using your cologne cuz I sweat
so much earlier.

Besides the fact we trust each other with
our lives;

you can't be calling dibs, man.

I told you at the car, that you need
to follow my orders and I told you

-not to touch that.
-Where're we going?

Tell me what you don't see?

It's glass, I can see everything.
Should I pretend I don't?

I don't see my right hand.

Do you see fingerprints anywhere?

Oh my god!

It's only temporary, it wears off in
twenty minutes.

Do not mess with anything else in my kit,
because nothing in here

is actually what it seems.

I think I'm getting used to being an
agent.

I love the adrenaline rush, man, it's
intense.

I can do this.

I'm a natural.

Cocaine!

This is the real deal, right?

No.

I'd swear it's Columbian.

We try to be as accurate as possible.

By the way I made a reservation

so we can take the girls out.

I think our wives might be feeling a
little neglected.

Good idea, and that way they won't be
suspicious.

I hope you picked somewhere expensive,
we deserve something fancy;

write it off as expenses.

Speaking of writing, this pen
works, right?

-It works by injection.
-Oww, shit.

It contains a strong hallucinogen.
Don't touch it.

Did you touch the pen?

Course not.

Honey, how much longer 'til I'm forgiven?

I haven't decided.

You left me waiting for you like an
idiot.

You said you would stick to the schedule
I gave you, but I'm not sure you really

-want this.
-You don't mean that.

-I wanted to be there; but Zafer
-Zafer.

-Was really in a bad way.
-Blink twice if you hear me.

Why are you making me eat with
these people I don't want to be

-around them.
-I felt bad for ditching them.

We were cranky and tired and we were
pretty rude.

We'll enjoy the evening,
I'm sure they're not that bad.

I think he might be high on drugs.

Whatever was wrong with him,

-I don't think you fixed it.
-How about we raise our glasses?

Cheers to vacation.

I don't know what happened.

He's usually so social and won't stop
talking.

Too much sun, maybe.

Y' got a name, kid?

Zafer.

Where are you from.

Bandirma, sir.

Bandirma?

You owe it all to the ferry.

The ten-point-five thank you.

We're very grateful.

Tomorrow we proclaim the Republic.

Tomorrow is Tuesday?

I'm available after noon.

The Republic is our legacy.

You will need to nurture it and make
sure it can flourish.

We can always dream, sir.

Take care of yourself, kid.

Sir?

It was a good dream.

You didn't stand up and show
your respect.

I'm so glad we found this place.

Let's raise another toast. Drink up.

Ertan buddy.

Those mushrooms were something else,
I was spaced out.

I went back in time and met Ataturk.

Is this water going on your bill, cuz the
minibar's a fortune.

You're lucky I had the antidote.

Without it, you might have gone
all the way back to the Letter Reform.

The letter reform? Ahem

Ohh, the alphabet.

Did I miss anything?

Is the mission compromised or are we
still on for the cabaret.

You weren't out of it for that long.
Everything's still a go.

The trickiest part will be getting the
laptop out of his room

-without getting caught.
-It's coming back to me and

I'm not hearing colors anymore,

but I feel quite emotional.

Tell me how I look?

This whole mission relies on one thing:

convincing him to take me up to his room
after the show.

Then hopefully we prevent world-wide
disaster.

Aah! Aah!

Ertan.

You must've given me the wrong antidote!

I don't even know what I'm seeing.

Get a hold of yourself.

It's me! Your partner, Ertan.

This is silocone camouflage made with
nano- technology.

Camouflage technology?

Why'd you get such a fine ass?

Everyone's gonna notice it, you're gonna
draw too much attention.

Why're you being such a pervert;
it's how it came out.

I asked you how I look, not if
you like my ass.

I have to learn how to act like a lady
and walk in heels

and figure out

how to flirt with that dirtbag
so he takes me up to his suite.

Alright, I got you. The dress is classy.

Nice earrings.

The butt can work if he's an ass-man.

-Mmh
-If he's not…

how far are you willing to go for
this mission?

Maybe you'll have to have a cocktail
or two before you…

Quiet. You'll be in my ear.

You'll come interrupt if things
get out of hand.

-Got it?
-Uh-huh.

Before I forget, my phone.

It's got an alarm on it.
I'm supposed to be in my room with

-my wife at ten fifty one;
-Okay.

Not fifty two or three;

fifty-one exactly.

If she messages me, text her back
so she thinks it's me.

Right. No problem.

Now bro'; your voice?

-How do we fix it?
-Nice catch.

Choker. Right here.

Can you put it on, please.

Ahem

-I meant on me.
-Sorry.

That does make more sense.

-Come on.
-Your hair; watch it.

-Good?
-Keep holding it, like that.

-Yeah?
-Mmh.

-Eyes up here, please.
-Them birthday cakes are distracting.

You want it snug, don't you?

Chokers are so sexy.

They are.

You smell good, is that vanilla?

I'm enjoying it too.

-Excellent choice.
-It came with the suit.

It's the singer's scent.

You guys thought of everything;
but I don't think hiding your Adam's

-apple's gonna be enough. Ahem
-Alright.

Turn.

What's up, Zafer?

Am I still on drugs, now you sound like
woman.

-A totally sexy one.
-Pffff!

This is too Ahh!

-You're a hairdresser, right?
-Hairmagician.

You can do something with this,
can't you?

With one hand behind my back.

I gotchou.

Unbelievable.

Really. I don't know about the up-do.

It's looking a little pageant-y.

Ms. Alim just and I just wanted
to wish you good luck.

Make us proud tonight, Ertan.

That's very nice of you.

We appreciate your DNA for this costume.

Even my voice is the same.

How did you do that?

You're sweet, but honestly the voice was
the easiest part thanks to deep fake.

Between recordings of you on stage,
at the cabaret, on television,

with phone taps.

With phone taps?

Seventy-three, you can hang up now.

Whoever did the camouflage of her
needs their eyes checked. because

-this man looks nothing like her.
-Don't talk to him like that.

He looks beautiful. Now get the fuck out!

-Zafer, baby.
-Huh?

Are you finally back to normal?

Yeah, yeah hundred percent. I was out
of it earlier, but now I'm excited and

my blood is pumping; Super sexy
saxophone, yeah?

Un-hunh. You're blood's pumping?

-Of course.
-You want to play my sexyphone?

-Right here?
-Mhmm

Our room? Damn I don't have the safe key.

Our safeword is 'gel'.

I know that.
I meant the key to your heart.

-You already have that.
-This is Ertan as Alim.

Hey, Alim.

-Who's Alim?
-Did Seda text me?

-I don't know.
-Is there someone else, Zafer?

-Check my phone.
-Sorry, bro.

Are you having an affair, cuz I am not
your 'bro.

Zafer! I think I'm gonna throw up.
Lock eyes with me when I get on stage

-to calm my nerves.
-Locking eyes.

You better not look elsewhere.
If my eyes aren't enough, my

butt should catch your attention.

-I'm your damn wife.
-Zafer.

This hairdo is a bit much, I 'm
afraid; it's throwing off my balance.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please give a warm welcome to tonight's
special guest, the Queen of Jazz,

Alim!

I'm very unhappy

these days

Always rebellious

I'm so tired

The dark fate written on my forehead

Doesn't fade away like death

She has a beautiful voice.

-It's the choker.
-She choke under pressure?

No, the choker is for voice control.

It's not a bullet wound,

It's a love wound inside

It doesn't heal

My love, where are you?
Are you in the hotel?

Tell him not to mention my name again

-I love you.
-Me too.

Love you so much.

Tell him, I haven't forgotten his lies yet

Tell him I kept his sins for the afterlife

Tell him, so he knows

You might have the schedule wrong,
your wife's asking where you are.

Tell him so he knows

Should I text her, "stop asking, woman"?

Don't write!

He'll never say my name again

Tell him, you haven't forgotten the timing

Oh right, thanks for reminding me;

Tell him I kept his sins for the afterlife

I'll tell her you'll be in the room at
Not fifty-two or fifty-three.

Right? Ten fifty one.

Tell him so he knows...

Should I write that or not?
Just blink once for no.

Tell him! So he knows!

Her voice is so sensual,

but there's something in the lyrics,

I can't put my finger on it.

I agree.

And whoever did those ass implants
on her went way overboard.

I told him it'd draw attention.

You were talking about her ass?

Him who? Were you talking about her with?
I'm starting to get pissed for real.

Her manager! We met outside the bathroom.

Now if the interrogation's over and
you're done with the jealousy,

can we just listen to the damn singer
or we leave.

Thank you so much.

-You did it!
-She's a professional; of course

-she did it; but it was very emotional.
-So professional. And that choker, I think

that doesn't hurt.

Have the lady join me for a drink.

The gentleman would like you to join him
at his table.

Good cover.

Disugise a prostitute as a singer.

I just had to compliment you in person.

You're sweet.

-I can't imagine that life.
-Ertan, you poor sucker.

Hey, weren't they supposed to meet us
here?

I don't remember what their plans
are, you told me to forget them, didn't

you?

"Where's Ertan? Where's Ertan?" I'm not
his babysitter.

What's your name, good lookin'?

You can call me Zoran.

-It's a pleasure.
-'Pleasure's all mine, Zoran.

Why doesn't she have a drink?

Thank you, uhmhh

-To jazz.
-To jazz.

May I ask what you do?

'May I ask what you do?'

Why don't you just say 'Handsup,
asshole'.

It's so obvious.

Could you ask me again?

Uh… I…

only asked… what it is you do.

You could recite the phone book.

Your voice is just as romantic,

down here in person as when you're up
on stage.

Ha!

You don't want to hear it first thing
when I get up.

I don't know about that, but to answer
the question,

-I'm in business.
-Mmm!

That's kind of vague.

You're one of those successful people who
don't like to share too much.

My industry can be brutal.

So it's better for everyone involved to
know as litttle as possible.

I say we forget about work, and
talk music.

I'm here to have a good time.

-Cheers.
-You're gorgeous.

Mh

Oh yeah, that's it, right there.

The gentle caress on the arm, brother.

Nice and slow, up and down, that's
soooo good.

Tilt your head. Close your eyes, bite
your lips like you love it, man.

Sigh a little. You love it.

Zafer, I've had enough!

You want to join them?!

Of course I don't want to join, I only
want to watch.

Acting like I'm some pervert in a
night club.

I need the bathroom.
If you don't mind, of course.

Man, the wife's getting suspicious.

And looks like you'll be a while.

You keep flirting, I'll text Seda, don't
worry.

Yah.

Is the drink bad?

I meant 'yes'.

So glad I said 'yes' to coming over when
you asked me.

The first of many 'yeses', I hope.

So impatient, jesus christ, and I can't
fucking talk to her.

Dear Seda…

Hold on, my darling,

I have a special treat for you,

I want everything to be perfect for
our session.

Don't get your panties in a…

please wait quietly in the room. Nice.

Let's go to my room.

I'm in the john,
I'll be there in a second.

I just have to ditch Aynur. Hold on.

Aynur?

Thank you.

Oooh! Wow, wow, wow, wow.

It's like a palace, I didn't know there
were rooms like this here.

It looks big because of the decor.

It's not the decor. This suite is huge?

Do you like huge things?

In proportion.

Excuse me while I freshen up, my lady.

Take your time.

Go, go, go, go.

He really needs to upgrade this
fucking thing.

Are you packing?!

God-damn cheater!

What the fuck?

Why did you marry me if you wanted to go
around fucking other women?

-I can barely keep up with fucking you.
-So why are you sexting Seda, then?

-Seda?
-Is it that bitch?

I don't know. It's her.
Ican explain, it's not even my phone!

-You're disgusting, I hate you.
-Zafer what's going on, what'd you do?

Man? What man? Are you sleeping with
men, too?

-Crap's hitting the fan, I gotta go.
-Zafer, wait.

Don't go.

They have some…

really nice soap in there.

I could run a bath for us.

Later.

I feel thirsty.

We can talk some more.

Performing uses a lot of energy.

I need to recover

before we getin the tub

and I show you my true talents.

Uh…

I don't normally,

invite women to my room, but there's just
something about you I can't resist.

I feel the same way.

You're the only client I've ever
followed back to his room.

Aynur, I swear to God, I'll slit my
wrists. You'll be haunted by guilt for

the rest of your life.

There's plenty of towels! Do it! I'll
watch!

You don't mean that; I know you don't.
Aynur!

Since the day we met, I've been obsessed
with you and only you.

Filthy liar! I heard you!

I followed you to the men's bathroom.

She's fucking married, Zafer.

I know, her husband was at dinner with
us before the show.

I'm insulted you think I would bang
her skinny ass;

you're filet mignon, she's fish sticks.
Honey,

one day I'll explain.

Forget it! Fuck your explanations, Zafer.

I'm getting myself a lawyer.

Get out before I lose my shit.

If you dent that, they'll charge it
to the room.

Go ahead, open it.

Your mistress is here.

Ya have to think the worst of people.
Don't you?

Pff!

Fuck you!

Bitch whore!!

-Hey, Seda.
-Hohh!

-Where's my husband?
-That's kinda sexy.

You have other sounds like that?

No, that was…

my vocal exercise.

My throat's a little dry

-but did you really like that?
-You have no idea.

That was music to my ears.

I'm only here one night.

I have a beautiful woman with me.

One who looks like she enjoys a little
choking.

Mh

That tickles.

I'll still respect you.

But don't start playing hard to get.

I'm just afraid I'll fall madly in love
with you and get hurt.

Mh!

Wait!

Who sent you?

You're the one who's a bitch-whore;
where's my husband?

Yeah right, you're here to seduce mine,
aren't you?

-No one's seducing anyone, Aynur.
-You think I'm into this idiot?

Now you're just being mean.

Ah!

Ah!

Zafer!T he crap hit the fan!

-I got you, baby I gotta go.
-Who're you calling baby?

Who was that, Zafer? Was that my Ertan?

Why do you have his phone?

Zafer! Come in!

Ertan, I'm in the middle of something,
hold on.!

If that's Ertan, where is he?

If this is some kinda three-way, I will
fucking kill all of you!

Zafer! Ertan said he would be late because

you did something to my husband,
didn't you?

I'll explain everything over breakfast.
I just really have to go.

-Tell me what you did with my husband!
-I swear, no more secrets after this.

-Zafer shut up you can't tell them shit.
-It's torture, man.

Where the hell is Ertan?
I know you know where he is, so tell me.

-Are you having a thing with her husband?
-If you hurt him, I will murder you both.

-You're up to something, I can tell;
-It's starting to make sense, you booked

-I'm calling the cops.
-this hotel so you could…

Happy now, Aynur?!

Look what you've made me do!

Does he like it a little rough?

We got the Alpha Dog.

What time is it?

Eleven.

-Dragic?
-Neutralized.

Seda?

Neutralized.

-Hh?
-Hunh.

In what sense?

With the stunner.

Argh! Zafer arghss.

Oh

if you only knew the night I've had,
partner.

How am I gonna explain things?

Seda's gonna ask for a divorce for sure.

No she won't, man; she loves you; I
saw it.

Pfffff!

We'll see.

You look exhausted.

-Let me help you with that.
-Huh.

This fucking camouflage is so sticky.

Will it come off if I rip it?

It's silicone;
it'll come off if you pull hard enough.

You're a real hero, buddy.

You look so beautiful.

-It's hard to resist.
-I know.

-Did you guys kiss?
-How're you gonna explain things to Aynur?

She knows everything?

I'm telling you I had no other choice.

-It's your phone that got me in trouble.
-You got me in trouble with my phone, too.

It's not his fault.

I went nuts when I misunderstod what I
overheard.

Then I called Seda a bitch-whore.

It got worse from there, but

he wanted to help you.

I zapped you with that thing, how could
you do that to my wife?!

You never told me it could go off,
I was a stupid accident.

It kept her from calling the
cops, though.

Pfff! It is so important,

no one else finds out.

This is top secret and has to stay under
wraps, Zafer's mouth already jeopardized

the entire operation.

If you could keep it to yourself,
and please

don't tell Seda since I'm trying
to keep her out of all this.

Ertan, stop.

I'm the one clients confess to.

True!

In one ear and out the other.

What my right hand knows

-never gets told to my left.
-Never gives.

Huh?

The expression is talk with one hand
give the other.

-Anyway, let the man finish his lecture.
-You swore on your mother's life

you would obey orders.

You ignored every single one.

You said I couldn't tell your wife, not
my own;

besides, this way my work'll improve.

I'll be so focused and she won't be
suspicious, right?

One last thing I forgot to tell you
is Ertan killed someone in self defense.

Why the hell would you tell her
about that? Jesus.

-Sorry. Whoops. Shhh! Last one.
-Ertan.

Ertan. One more question.

Can you tell me who?

It was him. dude just sat down over there.

He's here.

I think Ertan missed.

You two go there; Stay out of sight.

-Let me handle this.
-On the bed.

Okay, baby.

-Pfffff!
-Calm and casual.

Shhhh! Ahem.

Good to see you, boss.

I was just about to report the excellent
news I have for you.

-Last night…
-Ertan.

You're off the case.

Are you cancelling the mission?

You're being replaced.

You've broken protocols, and

shared ultra sensitive DISCO information
with unvetted parties.

I think
there's some kind of mix-up here, boss.

-Who's on the bed?
-The bed?

There's surveillance camera's in there.

I can see all three of you right now.

Zafer and Aynur Kuruk, we own a salon in
Bandirma

Shut the fuck up!

You two, listen to me,

I won't repeat it.

Should you utter a single word of what
you've heard regarding our work

or this particular mission

your days will be numbered.

Seventy-three

your days with DISCO have unfortunately
come to an end.

The organization thanks you for your
service.

You have been terminated.

Good luck.

You got fired!

We cost our friend his job because we
didn't hide ourselves from his boss

better.

No, Aynur. I was already on probation
for another fiasco.

-But you're sweet for saying that.
-Traitor.

-Who?
-Your boss.

-Henh?
-I've seen it.

It's the plot of a million Hollywood
blockbusters.

I saw three Mission Impossible movies and
it was the boss who was the traitor.

The bitch was working for the
Russians all along and double

crossed Ethan. This bitch is doing
the same thing!

Shut your fucking mouth!

You had Ertan looking like a damn drag
Queen with that awful up-do!

Your mother's the traitor for bringing
you into this world.

You call me a bitch again, I'll rip you a
new one. Asshole.

I'll make youre life miserable.

Sounds like harassment.

-Yes.
-Enough, Zafer.

Come on.

That woman doesn't know us;

we've got equipment, we're a team,
we can do this.

Continue the mission; we're so close.

No. Mission's over.

They took my career.

I can't let them take my wife too.

Ertan, come on.

I'll help you catch Alpha Dog.

-Come on.
-You two take care.

Zafer?

Is the migraine any better?

Tss.

-Like you care.
-Go ahead, girls.

Come on.
Are you angry we have to go home early?

Why would I be angry?

You said your boss called.

We don't have to leave today.

I can get someone to cover and we'll have
one more day together.

What do you say?

-Huh?
-You set off the scanner.

Please check all your pockets.

I can find another hotel; with a spa
so you can get a massage. Come on.

It's fine, I'll go to the spa at home.

You must still have metal on you
somewhere, coins, zinc, iron, copper,

keychain souvenir.

Seda.

There's something I've wanted to tell you
for a while;

-it's been eating me up inside for months.
-Don't bother, he told me.

What do you mean, who told you?

Your new buddy, Ertan.

That Zafer Hair Magician Champion,
whatever.

-He told me everything.
-God damn that stupid hairdresser!

He wasn't supposed to!

He swore he wouldn't say another
fucking word.

Watch your language. I'm the one who's
pissed off.

Unless you're the welter-weight champion,
put the belt in the bin.

After this we're gonna search you.
There's other people waiting.

Fucking, Zafer. Such an ass!

What exactly did that idiot tell you,
I'm curious.

The worst part was that I heard it
from that idiot.

I swear I was going to tell you when we
got home from vacation.

I thought I was the person you
could confide all your deepest

-secrets to, instead you told him.
-Honey.

Are you looking to get strip searched?

Last chance, take off the shoes.

Seda, it's not my fault, it's the timing.

I wanted to tell you so many times, but…

I had to wait until our seventh wedding
anniversary to tell you all this.

Our seventh anniversary?

But you told that idiot after a couple of
days?

Anyway, we're not gonna make it to seven.

I just found out the man in my wedding
pictures,

is a totally different man who's been
lying the whole time we've been together.

You're gonna have to go through one
more time.

Take everything off or tell me there's a
metal plate in your head.

I don't have that. Is this what you want?

Hanh?!

You want me to take everything off,
'buddy', I'll take everything off.

-There! You want the boxers too, officer?
-I like those briefs.

-Get a move on buddy; we've got a
-I want to know exactly what that bigmouth

-flight to catch. And put your clothes on.
-told you.

What he told me is that our marriage
is a lie, for God's sake!

-I don't even know who you are.
-My job required it.

You'd be in danger if I'd told you
the truth.

I never lied about my feelings, though.
I love you.

And since when is the truth dangerous?

In my line of work it can kill you.
Get your head blown clean off.

The Mint Bureau?!

The Mint? I'm in the Secret Service;
DISCO!

I'm so confused, what the fuck is DISCO?

Are you saying you're a spy?

-Thank you.
-You have a good one.

Thanks.

So you're telling me you work as a secret
agent for the government?

Yes and no.

You're only an agent if you're out
in the field undercover.

-I do most of my work inside a van.
-But, you're considered an agent?

More like a tech…

Uhm… what…

uh…

the numbered agents risk their lives,
and I do all the tech support for

their missions.

I'm their eyes and ears via top-level
communications.

I work…

on the same mission as the agents, but
I'm not considered one.

If you're not an accountant…

who are the people I meet when I
decide to pop in for a lunch date?

Colleagues, mostly.

But none of us work in accounting.

We're trained to pretend we have
regular jobs.

So they're all government agents.

Yes.

What about Zafer?

You work with him, too?

No, he's just a hairdresser!

Hair magician.

Hair magician.

That idiot
he did spy on me that first night.

My boss called me to take over and he
eavesdropped on the whole thing without

my knowing.

That meant I had to keep an eye on him to
make sure he didn't tell anyone;

and things kept spiralling.

He saved my life when he followed me
a second time, though.

So we owe that maniac debt of gratitude?

That maniac did keep me from getting
shot.

It sounds like you didn't mind dodging
bullets.

Ertan.

I am so proud to to call you my husband.

I'm a very lucky woman.

Even though you lied through your
teeth for years which I'm still

mad about.

But I know you had to, because my
husband always puts me first.

I know I pushed really hard

because I feel my clock is ticking.

No, you didn't push, honey.

I wanted to start a family.

I'm sorry I lost sight of the fact
that you are my family, Ertan.

I think this crazy mission…

is one you should finish.

There is no mission.

I'm not DISCO anymore.

Well fuck those damn assholes.

It's okay, I did deserve to get fired.

And this thing is dangerous.

-Ertan Gümü!
-I can't be going after…

There is nothing as dangerous as your
determination.

You know what I'm thinking?

What?

That spies are sexy.

I've been sleeping with an accountant
who's got a lot more tricks up

his sleeve, and I'm getting all knds of
ideas for when we get home.

Seriously? It turns you on?

-Ertan.
-Huh?

I think the mission's still on, honey.

-Over here, sir.
-What for?

You set off the scanner.

No, I didn't; I took everything out, I
didn't beep.

-Sir, go back through.
-Over there!

-A teacher, hairdresser and manicurist,
-You have to go back through.

-Sorry, sir, we're in a hurry.
-A dream team if I ever saw one.

Oh My God! You're still here, we made it.

Can we convince you to

not to go home yet?

-She thinks spies are sexy.
-Ha!

Cool! You shouldn't keep secrets
from your wife.

-Right.
-Did you track my location?

You live in Istanbul and we're on an
island.

If you want to get home you gotta swim
or get on an airplane.

You sure he's not an agent?

Sohh, the team's all hare.

Let's get moving.

Yesss!

Our biggest advantage is that we know
who we're looking for.

We don't know his name, but we do know
his face.

For now, we stick with Alpha Dog.

Can't we just go with Alpha?

I was thinking Ethem.
He was my best friend growing up.

Way catchier than Alpha, don't you think?

How about Coral, it's my favorite nail
color.

For the love of God, we're not
chaning the name.

The data I retrieved from Dragic's
computer indicates he'll deliver the

codes tonight at midnight. It'll be
happening in the penthouse suite of the

-hotel.
-This looks like a good spot.

You can only access it with a fingerprint
scanner, and it's safe to say that

fingerprint belongs to Alpha Dog.

He'll have some of his men at the
door and on the inside.

This is where you come in with your
cart, Aynur.

Ertan to Aynur, can you hear me?

Hi, Ertan. I'm freaking out.

I'm gonna throw up hh.

All over my cart.

Take a deep breath, Aynur; you got this.
Try not to get sick, okay; you're

doing great.

This is so stressful.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

My body's sweating in ways I
never thought possible.

I don't know how you've done this for
so long.

Seda,

don't be so hard on yourself, you've
survived years of kindergarten, remember?

You have all the security cameras for
the hotel and casino on your screen.

I'll tell you exactly what to do when the
time comes. But stay alert:

Let me know if you notice anything
unusual

or that catches your attention for some
reason.

You gotta be kidding.

Ertan, I'm in position.

Excellent; I knew you could do it.

Now we just stick to the plan.

As soon as you're done, you get
outta there

and get your marriage to this clown
annuled.

Aynur,

it's the room all the way at the end.

There are two guys at the door,
so be cool.

You're a natural, honey, good job.

That's because I have the very best
teacher.

Now I really am gonna barf, shushh.

Hello, gentlemen.

Uh… your complimentary beverages.

Elite members only.

For your hydration and so your hands stay
soft yet manly.

And big and strong like yours.

Why are you commenting on these guys
looks, are you trying to make me

jealous Aynur?

Ignore the clown; you're doing great.

Thank you, sir.

Don't linger is all I'm saying.

Good evening, gentlemen.

We'll take care of that. You can leave.

You'll do it yourself?

If you insist; enjoy your cocktails.

It's getting steamy.

But not how my husband thinks.

-That means she triggered the gas, Zafer.
-I deserved that one.

I'm in the hall.

I'll go change, but I'm not putting on
another wig, they're way too hot.

Seda, come in. You're up, honey.

What do I press?

We'll start with controlling the table
so Alpha Dog get sit to himself.

Is it not your job?

It's already set up, left click
the window.

-Left what?
-The yellow square.

Left click on the yellow square.
No, hold on.

Use control, alt, F eight,

up above.

-Up above?
-The function key, above the letters.

Above the letter is numbers and
the signs.

No up above the numbers, you have the
funcion keys. Never mind, I'll figure

out.

He's playing with thousands.

-How's it going, my friend?
-You're ridiculous.

I said we have to be discreet, and you
come in looking like a Vegas lounge

-singer.
-Yeah, soI don't get recognized.

Nobody knows you here, the point
is to not get noticed.

Anyway, you ready?

Just hand over the chips.

-Are you watching the cameras, honey?
-No, I'm not, Ertan.

You said you were gonna figure it out.

Seda, is this a goodtime to talk with
that tone in your voice?

I'm sorry, okay?

Okay, so what's next?

Get ready for the reader.

For the prints. Go get 'em.

Aynur, come do your thing.

Coming.

Timing is key, team, show me what you've
got.

-I think I like this one.
-Hey, boss.

-And this…
-Look at this.

That's okay, it can wait.

-Oh, alright.
-Okay.

-On this one?
-Excuse me?

-I believe this is yours.
-No, on this one.

You dropped it.

It was on the floor, you dropped it, sir.

Oh, thank you!

All good. Zafer, you're on.

Hop! Hop! Hop! Hop! Hop!

Pardon me!

I think you have something of mine?

I dropped a chip earlier, a black one,
I guess it fell out of my pocket

-and rolled under there.
-Is there a problem here? What's going on?

Uh… I saw a black chip under the
table and I thought this man dropped

it on the floor.

I dropped it on the floor it's
my thousand.

I was in this zone thirty seconds ago,

-check the cameras, they'll show you.
-Hey we don't need to argue.

Check the cameras on table eleven;
the gentleman in the white jacket says

he dropped a chip.

The camera's will show us who dropped it.

So, no need for the camera.

Keep it.

Uh so I'm fine not checking the camera
if you're settling it.

-It's fine.
-I'm not willing to settle!

It's yours.

Come on!

I don't want anyone to doubt the truth
or think I was lying.

I want to prove my innocence.
Cameras saw the whole thing.

-Just show everyone it's mine.
-You're killing me, just be quiet.

And then

cocktails on the house.

I'll have a glass of champagne you bring
it over here while I wait; tell 'em

to pour a good one none of that cheap
stuff.

-Why does he refuse to leave?
-Uh…

He dropped it.

-See?!
-Hey!

It's yours!

Keep it and go play.

-Go play, the cameras proved it's yours.
-Please, don't worry about it.

Like a goal disallowed by video review.

-So we're good, sir?
-Sure we're good, of course.

There's just one last thing, uh
this floor's prob'ly filthy

Hand spray. For germs.

Just spray a little on.

Clean your hands.

It's lemon.

-Sure.
-Let me.

-There. That's it.
-Lemon?

I love lemon, Lemon. Lemon. Lemon lemon.
Lemon for everyone. Thank you, have a

good day. Good luck. Hope you win.
See ya.

-I hate that shit.
-You're a sick bastard, you know that?

What a fucking idiot.

I got it done, didn't I?

We've got fifteen minutes before it
wears off.

Shit. I left my card in one of the slots.

-I'm just gonna go get it real quick.
-Forget it, there's no time.

I put good money on it; I'm not
just gonna let it go to waste in there.

-Pstt
-I'll be really quick.

Aahhh! Stupid ass!

Alpha Dog's leaving. He stopped playing.

Stay calm everyone.

Alpha Dog and Dragic are right
behind you.

Please, take your time while they leave.

-He's…
-Hey, look!

Jackpot!

Jackpot city!

I hit the five million!

-Wooh! Baby we hit the jackpot!
-God damyou to fucking hell, Zafer.

We just won five million!

Did ya see that? I did it, I hit the
jackpot, this is a good day.

Thank you, thank you very much.
Baby, did you see?

This is so crazy!

Congratulations. Let's pop a bottle
of champagne.

Wow! This is incredible!
Oh wow, champagne! Like a champion!

-I love it!
-This is great! Congratulations!

Thanks, thanks, thank you.

Let's have a toast. Go ahead.

-You're so lucky!
-You're not taking that outta my winnings,

are you?

I love this day!

This jackpot?!

Do you think I have to pay any taxes on
it?

I've never won a jackpot, but I think
they keep some.

We still get about four point one million
if they take eighteen percent, that's

I don't know the tax rate.

Ask them tomorrow when you get the
cheque.

Good, right?

Are you nuts?

Tomorrow's too late, we gotta get that
in the bank right away; I sent my

-wife to go get it.
-You did what?

-I sent Aynur.
-Aynur, come in.

Where are you?
Can you please go meet Seda in the room.

No problem.

I'm just about to leave with the millions
on a card.

I'll be done in just a minute.

I can't believe you're doing this.

We're up against a criminal mastermind
and you're cashing your cheque.

She said they put in on a card.

Coast is clear.

Quiet.

Seda, we need an update, honey.

-Go ahead.
-Is Alpha Dog still in the casino?

He is, but he's not gambling.

Okay, on the bottom right hand corner
of the screen there are colored squares.

Green and yellow.

I'll tell you which one to click
on in just a minute.

-Roger that.
-Nice one, partner.

Gonna look through walls with ultra-
sonic lazer tech shit.

Congrats on the jackpot, Zafer.

I'm very happy for you.

Thanks!

This could really change our lives.

The salon's doing alright, but we've
actually been saving up to buy a car.

And we want to do some renovations,
so we can expand.

But, depending how much they took out,
we might not have that much, and five

-million these days, with inflation…
-Do I need to stun you?

Hold this for me.

What is it?

A depth perception alternating mobile
projector.

Mission Impossible had one.
When Tom Cruise used it to sneak into

the Russian something or other,

it's a frame that moves with you kind of
invisible?

I didn't see that one.

One of my friends works in import-export,
and I asked him if he could get me

one, but he said no.
Customes won't allow it.

I really wanted to get one for my kids,
so if you don't need it after we're

done, can I borrow it?

-Of course you can't.
-Dammit.

Seda.

Please click the green button on the
count of three.

So on three, you mean?

Or after you count to three and then I
click on it?

No… it's…

One, two, three.

That's confusing, bro.

It's either 'Honey

one, two, click;

Or one, two, three, then…

bam.

One. Two. Three.

You click on it.

Why are you complicating things? Click on
the clap.

Then you should say 'clap, clap, click',
That makes more sense.

Unless you want her to do the
countdown so you can click.

Maybe we'll just count backwards.

So I'm counting backwards and you're
clapping three times?

Just click on the green box, dammit.

In the future you come click on the
square.

Ugh!

Is this a blanket?

Right now I wish it were.

You have a good one.

You too.

A lucky night, huh?

Slow and steady, slow and steady.

-Field synchronization active.
-What does that mean?

-Depth stabilized.
-English, please?

We're fucking invisible behind this
thing.

That's more like it.

This means you freeze.

Not in my neighborood.

In the military?!

With double-sided baseboards all along
the hallway.

There's five different ones.

Yes, we remove the carpet, sand the
floors, put the carpet back on.

Yes.

There's a bunch of floors because it's
a really big hotel and now we have

someone in our way.

But you know Zafer always come's
through, it'll be done on time.

I only have four installments 'til it's
paid off, dipshit.

You think it's fun breaking a
guy's phone?

I use that phone for work; I'm sorry,
I promised

myself
I wouldn't, but he crossed the line.

-Zafer.
-Did that bastard knock me out?

My glasses are on your jacket.

You took cae of them real good.

I did?

The flash was a brilliant tactic,
impressive.

Show no mercy, that's always been
my motto.

I hope they're not dead, though.

Can you give me a little warning
next time?

Yeah, man, sorry.

You still owe me a new phone.

Get the chip.

Huh!

Oh!

Ah!

Ah!

It's huge. Our house is half this size.

Ertan, I'm thinking honest work's
overrated.

Yeah, like you won your millions
doing honest work at the slots?

I had to act like a guy who enjoys
gambling to make this work, it's

not like I committed a crime. Chill.

You guys better finish up because
Alpha Dog's on the move.

-The safe's somewhere here.
-You sure?

-I'm sure. I just can't find it.
-What're we looking for?

Ertan.

-They're heading towards the elevator.
-Pull the bar open towards you.

-Ahah!
-There it is.

Now, we just need to figure out the
password.

-Moscow guy one two three four.
-Huh?

Put it in: Moscow guy one two three four;
it's basic detective work.

You spent the night with Dragic.

He isn't Turkish, he's
Serbian; which means Iron Curtain;

which was behind the Union of
Soviet Social Republics,

And if you were in the biggest country
in the union you were in:

Moscow. It's simple.

You gotta think

like a terrorist, not like a
secret agent; you gotta choose a

tribute to the homeland: Moscow guy
one two three four.

Alpha Dog isn't Russian.

I'm just spit balling here, choose
whatever country you want, see if

you get it open.

They're on the tenth floor, you need
to hurry.

Come on.

Hold on, hold on, I'm thinking, I'm
thinking.

Just crack it open, forget the code.

For fuck's sake, the only way to crack it
open is to blow up the minibar!

Jesus!

-They're heading down the hall.
-We gotta go.

Shut up, I've got this.

We'll go through the vent.

Zafer, could you please stop
interrupting?

Fuck!

If we go up the vent, they won't
catch us.

Zafer, you go, I'll catch up.

Fuck!

Why are you being so stubborn, everyone
knows the vent is how you escape!

For the love of God, stop talking.

They're trying to break down the door,
honey!

I can hear that, thank you.

Open the fucking door! You're dead!

Come on, I'll help you up there.

I'll just pop the cover off and we
climb out.

Ertan, just forget the mission!

For germs. lemon, lemon.

Nationality - Date of Birth

Come on, man.

Ertan, the vent!

There's nothing here.

It's gone!

What did I tell you?
You can never go wrong with the vent.

-You were right, Zafer.
-I'll admit it looks easier in the movies.

I nearly peed my pants, how the hell
do you deal with this stress every day?

We need to pack everything and get on
the first plane out of here.

Are you paying?

You just got millions put on a gift card,
you can fly us all out in first class.

Oh-hoh.

This isn't good.

Hey.

Bring the cards,

and you'll get them back.

-Move, move.
-You don't need to push.

-Ertan!
-Zafer!

Hey, ladies.

Oh, my shoe.

-I dropped it.
-Are you okay?

-Yeah, baby.
-Ertan!

No cards.

Bravo.

I mean it.

This wasn't easy.

Hey uh…

You dropped this in the room.

Give me my cards.

Listen, brother.
You have a problem with me.

We'll settle this between us,
our women are innocent, you need to

let them go.

The cards are in a safe place.

Release the women, take the cards.

That's reasonable.

Only one girl stays.

And one goes; you choose.

He does have the upper hand right now,
we have to do what he says.

-So I pick my wife, let's go.
-Why your wife?

-Sit down.
-Obvioously it should be my wife.

What the hell man! No way! We'll get
both of them back, who cares who

-goes first?
-I don't want my wife with these guys.

Aynur, it's not that I don't care about
you, it' s just that I care about Seda

more,

she just forgave years of lies, myone
precious wife has to come first.

Aah!

His one precious wife, he thinks
she's worth more, because I've had two

-and he's only had one.
-Ohh! Ohhh!

Cause, you know, I found her in the
gutter.

You have no right to judge us cuz he's
divorced.

-It's my first, I have a ring, it counts!
-I never said it didn't count!

Heeyy!

Shut up! This is getting outta hand.

Everyone stays.

Zafer!! Babe!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

He's got a gun! Do what he says.

Give me the cards.

-Don't make me do this.
-Give him what he wants.

-Give him what he wants, Ertan.
-Release the women, take the cards.

-Zafer!
-Don't make me do this.

Zoran!

Ready when you are.

-I'm gonna count to three.
-Ah!

-Zafer!
-One.

Give him what he wants.

Two.

He's gonna kill us all, do what he
says, give him the cards.

Ertan, please!

-Give it, give it, give it, give it,
-Give him the cards, man; I don't

-give it!
-wanna get shot.

Three.

Now stop flirting.

Congratulations, Ertan.

You prevented a huge disaster.

Thanks, but he deserves the credit.

Although I would have prefered a heads up
that Nine was still running the

mission so I could keep my wife out
of danger.

We needed a diversion.

Huh!

I went up on that roof with a
bulletproof vest but no weapons.

The only way to get to Alpha Dog,

was to let Dragic put me out of
commission.

What really saved us was when you sent
the Serb out the window getting the

laptop that one night.

You allowed Agent Nine to breach
their defenses.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Did you ever consider what would you
would have happened that night if Dragic

killed me first?

Never mind that Seda was there
without any protection.

You put DISCO before my wife; would I get
a medal if she got hurt?

Ertan! We did nothing,

you decided to drag

three people into this mess; DISCO had
nothing to do with it.

I wouldn't have let anything happen to
Seda.

Not a peep.

Ultrasonic drywall?

Hard as a rock.

This sucks. There's nothing to do.

And the poor guy's probably
getting yelled at and ripped to shreds.

If he comes out of there in one
piece it'll be a miracle.

But he saved the mission.

He's getting fired again for sure.
And maybe he'll go to jail.

-Are you serious?
-You think they mentioned us?

I'm not sure they think of us as spy
material.

Forget I asked you.

I did want to ask you something,
but I was waiting for the right time.

Will they let me use this for parking?

-Yes they will, Zafer.
-Cool.

I'm sure it'll work. Make sure you try on
your way out.

See. You can use it to pay tolls too.

-Probably even a line of credit.
-You think so, hunh?

I do.

What if something had happened to
that couple?

Zafer and Aynur?
Oh, those two are bulletproof.

No one can get rid of them no matter
how hard they try.

He's either dumb or brave as hell.

Yes he is. You can say that again.

Although I pretty much wanted to
strangle you with my bare hands for

the trouble you caused, you did go
above and beyond to fulfill your mission.

-Bravo.
-Ertan;

you pounded those fuckers to a pulp.

-Congratulations.
-Mr. Vehbi!

For crying out loud, shut your
fucking mouth.

Now get lost.

Show some respect next time.

Where was I?

Ertan.

After two weeks of investigation

and a thorough review of your actions

D.I.S.C.O. has a recommendation for your
future.

-Honey,
-How'd it go?

-You look so…
-Dude?

D'you ask about my thing?

You know, Zafer, we really wanted to
discuss the zoning issuses for your

potential expansion, but we didn't have
time.

It's pretty complex stuff, I get it.

-It's cool.
-We'll get there.

Mmh.

-I can wait.
-You couldn't change their minds?

They had camera's every step of the way,
and they saw it all.

Even though the operation was successful,

I took the kind or risks that could prove
tricky for my positon.

Hypocrites, they put you in that
situation.

It's not fair.

You did good. Don't be sad.

You'll get a job somewhere else.

Actually I have an obligation to work for
them.

In a new position.

Holy shit,

-You're not fired.
-You're an agent!

-Shhh!
-He's an agent!

It's so damn sexy.

-Shhh!
-Ertan!

Thanks to you all.

-Amazing, and you stay out of jail.
-This is so exciting. They're so lucky

-Thanks. You do get some credit.
-Ahem

-to have you.
-You better enjoy it now, babe.

Training starts tomorrow.

My instructor.

Celebrate.

After today, he is mine for a while.

What the hell is he mad at me for?

I think he's used to having the best
hair around here.

Since we're celebrating,

I have a little surprise of my own.

Your schedule worked!

Seda, that's amazing!

You did it! Oh!

Ohh!

-This isamazing, Seda!!
-Thank you.

Look at him, like a dear in the
headlights. he's in shock; she's

pregnant. Two lines on the pee stick,
she's knocked up.

I already knew, you think she would
tell you guys first?

-Guess not.
-Congrats!

-You guys need to catch up.
-Amen. I don't mind working overtime.

I'm sure.

-Let's go pop the champagne; I brought
-It's so exciting.

-For you to drink. some
-I'll drink yours.

Why don't you two go ahead, honey.
Zafer and I'll catch up in minute.

-Don't drink it all, ladies.
-Okay, don't keep us waiting.

-Okay.
-Don't be lifting anything heavy.

Seda, I'm so happy for you!

It's thanks to you, Zafer.

Stop with that; you're a good friend,
I would die for you.

Let's hope it doesn't go that far. So uh…

how's the salon?

Better than ever; we hired Aynur's
cousin to decorate with the caching

that I won us, and my customers love it;
I'm killing it.

-Hair magician.
-Hair magician.

-I hope we'll keep in touch after this?
-I hope so too.

We might not come into the big city much,
but you visit whenever you want; door's

-open.
-How about a cruise or something?

Visa's cost a fortune; passports
get lost.

-Hanh? Huh-uh.
-And we're a tiny bit behind you guys.

We haven't travelled too much,
so we're nervous.

-Zafer.
-Yeah, bro.

-We need to meet the girls.
-I know.

I'll go first, and you wait here for
this to ring.

If you answer, it means you're in.

It's your decision.

By answering this call,

you have agreed to participate in the
secret agent training program.

Zafer Kirik, welcome to DISCO.

You're lucky, man, your nape has
the kind of look people pay big

money for.

We just need to make sure this doesn't
move.

What do you think?

I look like someone who looks in
his parents basement, I want more

flow, like yours.

This kinda flow compliments my face
structure; you're more of a pear

shape, we'll try something else.

It think it's a mouse.

-That's a big fucking mouse.
-It must eat a lot of room service.

It's growing on me.

Let's go with it.

You have it on backwards, but if you
like it, that's cool.

-Forget it, I'll look stupid.
-Your decision.

I'm terrified of rats, and I'm pretty
sure that is one.

You're terrified of rats? I love them, I
have one that sleeps at the foot

of my bed. Get over it.

No, I'm telling you, I can't; we gotta
find another way.

What? Are you kidding; there's only one
way. Forward.

Back up. It's gonna attack.

I tried her birthday, our wedding
day, the first time I did her

hair; nothing's working.

Moscow guy one, two, three, four?

-It's big as a cat.
-We're bigger than cats.

-We go back and…
-Nu-uh.

Yeah we go back and talk to Alpha Dog,
anything can be solved by talking.

You talk enough for both of us, I'll wait
here, and you go work things out.

Okay, but how do I turn around?
Some of my best work, you'll love it.

-I look the same as when I sat down.
-Amateur.

Just swing your head to the right.

Look at that braid work; it's to die for.

-Perfection.
-Get it off.

I think I'm stuck, can you go forward?

You want me to go closer to the rat?
Just wiggle free.

I'm freaking out.

Just breathe, man.

Something touched my foot, it has
friends.

Something touched my foot! I think it's
crawling up my leg.

Aah!

How big is it?

Hair magician.
four one zero for zero one zero one.

Where'd you get those numbers?

Four bridal parties, ten perms forty
color treatments

-and over one hunded blow dries.
-In twenty-four hours, my friend.

It looks so good, I'm telling you.

-I'm still bald.
-With the balding, it's too beautiful.

The mullet; This is it.

I look like Erkin Koray,

And by the way, why would I wear a wig if
it doesn't cover up the bald spot?

You wanted natural; I gave you natural.

Argh! That friggin' ass.

I've got one more up my sleeve, but it's
risky.

No risk, no reward, let's do it.

Ah!

-Dam, bro'.
-The platinum is a bold choice.

Sometimes the answer's in the mirror.

I don't have the face for it.

Why won't it come off?

-Zafer!
-I used top-shelf glue, man.

Ertan, I'm begging.

Just one song, please.

Enough, Zafer, you're drunk.

Yeah, man.

So are you.

And tomorrow, we won't remember,
so come on.

What happened in Cyprus, stays in Cyprus.

I promise I won't ask again if you do
me this one favor, tonight.

Just one last time, partner.

-You swear?
-So swear.

-Just once.
-And then it's history.

Swear on your mother?

All over my mother.

Tell him, not to mention my name again

Tell him, I haven't forgotten his lies

Tell him, I've saved his sins
for the afterlife

Tell him, so he knows

Tell him, so he knows

Tell him!