All language subtitles for GWed s03e02 Be Secure Be Safe Be Semi.eng

How much money you gonna get?
Reckon you'll play for England?

Reckon you can get me
Alisha Lehmann's number? Shut up!

It was just a trial.

I treat my school
like a talent factory.

I put raw talent in,
and England caps come out.

Take Sean Hanes -
five England under-21 caps.

Could have been a lot more

if he didn't go to prison
for armed robbery.

True.

But armed robbery takes teamwork,
split-second decision-making,

all the stuff we teach here
at Allsbrooke High.

What are you doing here?

Tracy has some very exciting news.

We were very impressed
with your trial, and...

They're offering you a place
in the academy.

SHE SCOFFS
Oh, my God, are you messing?

LADS: # We've got Louise

? Super Mia-Louise... ?
Hey!

? I just don't think
You understand... ?

Hey, hey, hey!

? She'll kick off on your nan

? She's better than Zidane

? We've got super Mia-Louise

? We've got Louise... ?
Hey!

? Super Mia-Louise

? I just don't think
You understand... ?

Hey, hey, hey!

? She'll kick off on your nan
She's better than Zidane

? We've got super Mia-Louise! ?
THEY CHEER

Lad, just let me drive.

Son, I understand your frustration.

Lessons with loved ones
are always harder

because we're carrying
emotional baggage into the car.

No, we're not.
You're not a loved one.

Oh, my God.

SHOUTS: Hey, if that arse were on
the M&S dine-in menu,

I wouldn't need cutlery.

I'd be in face first!

Lad, that's one of me ma's mates!
DARREN CHUCKLES

How did you ever pass your test?
I didn't.

You don't drive?
Nah, it's not for me.

So what are you teaching us for?!
Because your mum asked me to.

And when I shagged her
all them years ago,

I'd never done that before,
but I knew exactly what to do.

This is stupid!

You don't drive,
and you're not even me dad.

You're just some little weirdo
who won't piss off.

SOMBRE MUSIC PLAYS

It's OK, son.

I know you think I'm an idiot.

I know everyone does.
And I know I'm not your dad.

And I know I shouldn't inject myself
with stuff I bought off the dark web

that promises to recode my DNA
so it's similar to yours,

but unlike your real dad, son...

...I'm here for you.

I'm here for you cos I get it.

I get waiting for the text
that never comes.

I get convincing yourself that,
this time, he'll show,

and then feeling like a fool
for even hoping.

I get wishing
that you had someone in your life

that when you truly needed them,
they would look you in the eye

and they'd say,
"I've got this, son."

So if I can do that for you, then...

maybe I can finally have something
to be proud of in my life.

MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY

Oh, it is raining
returning-to-car arse!

I'm living the dream here, son!

DARREN BURBLES

What are you doing,
you little weirdo?!

And I want to introduce you
to Daisy.

She's one of our academy girls.

And from today, you're gonna be
on a tailored nutrition plan

and eating together.

Oh, romantic meals together
every day.

I mean, at this rate,

we'll be scissoring
by the end of the week, Trace.

You what?

God, I'm made-up another girl from
this school's joining the academy.

Oh, my God, it's her,

the girl who's missed every party
since Year 7.

We've all got our own journeys,
haven't we?

Some of us sweat through eight years
of bleep tests, no social life,

and some get spotted
cos some ol' divvy at the club

got excited
over your shitty TikToks.

And your "around the world" -

you paused mid-step,
your plant foot was off,

and the ball barely got
off the ground.

Eeh.

WOMAN: Eeeeh!

INDISTINCT CHATTER

Hi, girls. Nice to meet youse.
Oh, hey.

Can I get some fresh towels sent up
to room 214 when you get a sec?

Thanks.

SHE LAUGHS
No, I don't work here.

I'm auditioning.
Oh, God!

Oh, I'm so sorry. I...
I heard the accent. Yeah.

And you really look like the maid
from this morning.

Yeah, doesn't she look like
the maid?

Oh, my God, she so does.
Uncanny.

Oh, and hilarious
you're doing the accent already.

Love the commitment.

No, that's just my voice.
I'm from Liverpool.

IN SCOUSE ACCENT:
"I'm from Liverpool."

OK, I see you.
Full Stanislavski, it's impressive.

Well, good luck with it, yeah?
Shall we talk to him...?

Do you want me to leave a mint
under your pillow later?

SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

Erm, no. No, it's OK. Thank you.

Hey, Sam...

Jodie, you know I can't.
Look, I'm here to chaperone Aimee.

Are you really turning down sex?

It's not appropriate, all right?

I'll tell you
what's not appropriate -

me sat here on me bill

while you've got a hotel room
to yourself.

I'm here to do a job.

I've gotta go. All right, all right.
Ta-ra, ta-ra, ta-ra.

Hello! Hi.

I'm Philip. I'm Aimee's teacher.

Oh.
Yeah.

I just wanted to say, you know,

I really appreciate
you giving Aimee this chance.

It matters,
giving working-class girls a shot.

What's your room like?

Steady on, sailor.
I barely know you.

Yeah, yeah, it's really nice,
to be fair. You?

Mine's grim.

I did King Lear in Albania once,
shared a bed with a goat.

Five star compared to my room here.

Well, you can take mine if you like.

It'd be my pleasure.

Great. We'll swap this evening.

Oh, just a heads up...
CLEARS THROAT

...you might get an angry Scouser
turning up, demanding sex,

so watch your back.

What do you mean?
What?

Actually don't know.
Oh.

MOUTHS: Fuck!

'So, a lot of you have been asking

'what I eat for my lunch
and my intake.

'So, today,
I am having quinoa and chickpeas.

'That's 18 grams of protein...

'60 grams of carbs,
nine grams of fibre,

'and that's per portion.'

Don't. I'll have
to do that again now.

It's for the academy socials.

Yeah, but I was losing the will
to live, girl.

As if.

156 calories.

8.7 grams of fat and 0.36 grams
of salt per 30 gram serving,

which is 13 Pringles.

120 calories, 5.6 grams of fat
and 12.2 grams of sugar.

Wow. You're like
the Rain Man of scran.

It's all margins.

And margins win trophies.

Trophies? Girl, that's a Mini Roll.
What do you think's gonna happen?

Oh, you eat one
and then you score an own goal.

No, you eat one and then, next game,

you're half a second slower
to the ball,

coach notices and subs you off.
Great.

I can have another Mini Roll
on the bench.

Fine. Laugh now, but when we're 18
and I'm scoring goals for England

and you're working in Greggs,
remember this chat.

Yeah, well,
when I'm scoring goals for England

and I whip a Mini Roll out me sock
and chomp on it as me celebration,

remember this chat.

Trust me, the only crowd
you're ever gonna hear cheer for you

is at lunchtime when you bring out
the sausage rolls.

LAUGHS MOCKINGLY

Right. I'm Sam.

Director. Now...

this first exercise is all
about releasing what's buried.

Hm?

The chaos...

...the truth.

Hm? So, we're gonna move.
Yeah? Come on. We're gonna move.

Yeah. Yeah.

And when it hits you,
you're gonna let it out.

You're gonna roar!

Come on, some energy, some...

Come on! Let's run. Come on!

Feel it. The frustration.

Oh! It's been so long
since a man fucked me,

I don't know if I'll cry or bleed!

Come on! You too, come on.

I hate my father.
I hate my life. I hate my teacher.

Yes, I was included
in the best 21 actresses under 25,

but do people even like me for me?!

SHE EXHALES HEAVILY
Yes! Let it out!

Let it out!
No, it's not the cock I miss.

It's the eye contact
whilst he ruins me!

HE MOANS

What the fuck?

Now, son, driving is not just
about the practical.

Theory matters, too,
and my theory philosophy is simple.

Be secure, be safe...

be semi.

Semi?

Always drive with a semi so
you're ready for sexual intercourse

if the opportunity arrives.

What?
Now...

I've prepared some questions.

Ooh, the folder's out.

Question one.

You spot a woman jogging towards you
in a sports bra

with some cracking tits.

Do you, A, maintain
full concentration on the road,

B, briefly look
then return your eyes to the road,

or C, stare, rear end into a lorry,
losing both your legs,

safe in the knowledge
that you've got a snapshot

in your head
of a goated pair of tits?

Well, A, obviously.

HE MIMICS KLAXON
It's C, son. Look.

This is ridiculous.
Just let me drive!

Oh, come on, son.
You're better than this.

I can't let you drive
until you get one right.

Question two.

You're parked up after dark
and hear...

...rhythmic knocking
coming from the car next door.

Do you, A,
mind your business and drive away,

B, turn your radio down
so you can hear better,

or C, get out, knock on the window,

and when they wind the window down,
just start wanking?

Fine, C.
No, son, it's B.

C would be a criminal offence.
You can't go round doing that.

What's wrong with you,
you disgusting little man?

What?!

IN SOFT SCOUSE ACCENT:
I've got something, Dad.

I've got a voice that stops people.

And when I'm up there...
God, when I sing...

I don't feel scared.

I don't feel small any more.

IN SCOUSE ACCENT:
You'll get your heart broken.

It's already broken.

Every time I hear another person's
voice on the radio.

Every time I see a girl like me

pretend she's happy
with just enough.

I don't want "just enough", Dad.

I want everything.

CLAPPING,
CHATTER

Honest. Moving.

Powerful!

You held the whole room.

And the accent - flawless.
Not one single slip. Ah.

SHE LAUGHS

Something funny?

Sorry.
CHUCKLES

I thought you were being sarcastic.

Like, it weren't terrible,

but it just sounded
like someone doing an impression

of what they think
someone from Liverpool sounds like.

Over pronouncing the "O"
when she said "radio".

But theatre isn't about
what sounds right.

It's about truth.

If an actor can make you believe
her pain, her dreams, her joy...

who cares if she hits
the right vowels on "radio"?

People from Liverpool care,

if it means
they get overlooked again.

A real accent's OK when it's someone
playing a criminal or a joke.

But when it's a lead,
it's too strong or too common.

So, that's why
a real accent matters,

because it gives people
from Liverpool

a chance that they deserve.

I-I get what you're saying, I do.
Representation matters.

Yeah, but let me ask you this.

If Cilla was in this room
right now...

...would she want the girl
who sounded the most like her

or the one who made us feel
like she did?

Did you hear the rumour

that Mr Holt was one
of the Bonnie Blue 1,000 men? No.

They do look like his shoes,
don't they?

PHONE CHIMES

I'm gonna get to drive, lad!

MIA: 'How's it going?
You haven't updated me.'

Cos I'm going home.
'What, you've done the singing?'

No, cos what's the point?

They're not looking
for girls like me.

They're looking for girls like them.

Posh, privileged girls trained up
since they were in the womb.

'But you're privileged too, girl.'
What do you mean?

Cos you know what you want.

Do you know how rare that is, Aimes?
That's privilege.

So, forget what they might want,

just go and enjoy the fact
that you know what you want.

Enjoy trying to live your dream.

Just... enjoy your privilege.

Now, you're also privileged
in the tits department,

so if they don't like your singing,
just whip them out, girl!

BOTH LAUGH

CHRISTOPHER: Where are we?

REECE: This is in the middle
of nowhere.

Lad, how long are you gonna be?

I'm not sure, to be honest, boys.

I mean, she said
she's into role play.

That might put me off,
and I'll last longer.

But then again, she's married,

and there's something about that
that makes me come quicker, so...

What, so we're supposed
to just sit here and wait for you?!

I'd ask if you could watch,
but it's my first time meeting her.

I mean, maybe next time, eh?

He doesn't mean cos we wanna watch.

No, we need to see
what she looks like first.

I don't know
what she looks like, boys.

It's been non-stop
tit and dick pics.

Yeah, I'll tell you what, Reece,

lighting in your bedroom don't half
make my cock look majestic.

SIGHING: Just get out, will you?
Now, remember what I said, boys...

about me driving philosophy.

Be secure, be safe...

ALL: Be semi.

Cock in gear.

DARREN GRUNTS

THEY SIGH

Just think, if I hadn't encouraged
you to find your dad...

we wouldn't be sitting
outside a hotel

waiting for a man called
Disneyland Darren to ejaculate.

I owe you big time, lad.

THEY LAUGH

Oh, lad, I need a piss.

MR DUNN: Hey, are you the best
person to talk to about delivery?

RECEPTIONIST: Yes, I am.
Great.

I've got something arriving
for me later.

Could you make sure
it comes up to room 226, please?

It's a gift for someone special.

Thanks.

Lad. Mr Dunn's in there
cheating on my ma.

I swear.

? No matter what I do

? I only wanna be with you

? I said, no matter what I do

? I only wanna be with you. ?

Thank you, Alex. Fantastic.

Thank you.

Oh, there was a rumour
you'd gone home.

Good for you, coming back.

You know, it's not always
about getting the role,

it's about having a little go.

SCOFFS

? At last

? My love has come along

? My lonely days are over

? And life is like a song

? Oh, yeah, yeah, at last

? The skies above are blue

? My heart was wrapped up in clover

? The night I looked at you

? I found a dream

? That I could speak to

? A dream that I

? Could call my own

? I found a thrill

? To press my cheek to

? A thrill that I

? Have never known

? Oh, yeah, yeah, you smile. ?

MUTTERING:
Oh, my God, she is absolutely...

Aimee, that was beautiful.

I believed every word.

Right, see you all tomorrow.

Remember - expect the unexpected.

Absorb, listen, learn.

I'll be watching. Go on.

? Don't lie, don't lie, don't lie. ?

Hello there.

Just wanna say, spoke to reception.

Gonna do a little swap-a-rooni
on the rooms.

You know, I'm room 226.

Oh, and, er...
CLEARS THROAT

...as a little token
of my appreciation

for seeing Aimee, I've got a little
something arriving for you later.

You're gonna love it.

OK. Thank you.

No... thank you.

Yes!

Hiya. Looking for a guest
by the name of Tanya Pennington.

Are you a guest as well, sir?

Are you sure this means
he's having an affair?

Yeah, lad.
He said a gift for someone special.

And why is he staying in a hotel
when he lives nearby?

It doesn't look good, I can't lie.

He's in room 226.

So I reckon we just bounce in there,

take a photo
and get the evidence for me ma.

Just listen! Right?

I've seen the messages
and the dick pics.

I know she's here with a fella.

Just tell me what room she's in.

I'm her husband.
I've got a right to know.

Just look it up on your laptop,
would you?! Calm down.

That's gotta be the husband of the
bird Disneyland Darren's shagging.

We need to find him.
Look at him. He's gonna kill him!

Do you know what?
I hope this happens to you one day.

That's unlikely.

I've got a better idea, lad.
What are you doing? Reece!

All right, mate?

I... I just wanted to say

I think it's absolutely disgusting
what your missus is getting up to.

I just saw her checking in before.

Did you, lad? Dark hair, glasses?

Yeah, mate.

Room 226.

Nice one, lad.

Sir? Sir!

Are you sure about this?

Lad, Mr Dunn deserves a slap.
He's cheating on me ma.

Gives us time to find
Disneyland Darren

and get him out of here as well.

It's honestly beautiful seeing you
care about your father like this.

Shut up, lad.
CHRISTOPHER LAUGHS

SMOOTH MUSIC PLAYING

Well, this is unexpected.

You're bloody right,
I'm unexpected, lad.

Where is she?

PHONE CHIMES

Hi.
Hi.

Expect the unexpected.

Absorb, listen, learn.

Acting is reacting.

How are we gonna find him?
He could be anywhere.

Ring him.

SAM: You must be my special gift.

I am rather in the mood.
You shut your mouth.

Yeah, look, this whole
angry northern husband routine,

I see what you're going for,
but it's not landing.

Can we lose it?

Oh, I'm gonna lose it, mate.

I'm gonna lose it all over
your bloody face in a minute.

Now, let's not rush things.

He's not answering, lad.

You're much younger
and better-looking than I expected.

Oh, so are you.

You're hot. Broad arms. Great arms.

Yeah, I bet women just fall
at your feet.

What's wrong? Are... Are you OK?
It's just always the same.

Every woman I meet.

Soon as they see me,
it's all arms, chest,

cock, cock, cock.

You know, like I'm just meat,
a walking knob!

Hey.

You are not a walking knob, OK?

You are so much more than that.

I am.

You deserve to be seen.
I do.

Mm.
I deserve to be seen.

Is there anything I can do for you?

I saw a Boost bar

in a vending machine
down the corridor,

and I honestly thought
they'd stopped making them.

They're dead rare.
Mm.

Like a woman
who actually sees me for me.

Hey. I see you now.

And I am gonna get you
that Boost bar.

Mm-hm. Yeah.

Oh, excuse me.
Have you seen this man?

No, sorry.

JODIE: 'Do you not fancy me?
Is that it?'

No. Yes! Of course I do.
Don't be daft.

It's just... not professional.

I can make it professional for you.
I'll invoice you after.

Although with you, I'd be better off
charging by the second.

Look, I'm at work.

Look, I promise you
I'll call you later.

OK? Ta-ra.

I'll tear into you right here,
right now.

Urgent, impulsive!

We have to have each other
this second. I love it!

You wanna have sex with me too?

That's why you are here, isn't it?
You dirty northern bastard.

I am here
because you're shagging me wife.

Oh, Christ!

You really are dedicated to
this "angry man" role, aren't you?

It's growing on me.

Now... trousers off, cock out.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

Just wanted to say
well done for today.

You know, you're doing great.
Cheers, sir.

Oh, and thanks for buying that
scented candle for the director.

I've got no idea
with all that stuff.

I got a text.
They're delivering it soon.

Oh, I'm sorry
I didn't give you this earlier.

Needed to go to the cashpoint.
Cheers.

BOTH: See you later.

HE SIGHS

What you're doing...
it's beyond brave.

You what?

It honestly breaks my heart

that some of us girls
are still forced into this.

I want you to know
that I stand with you, OK?

Because when one woman suffers,
we all do.

I'm going the restaurant, mate.
I'm starving.

Good. Food is so important, OK?

You got to keep your strength up -
for all of us.

Bye.
Bye.

Good luck, Aimee.

This is impossible.
He could be anywhere.

PHONE RINGS

Where are you, mate?
I've put your tea on.

I'm just helping Disneyland Darren
with something.

Hey, Mum,
do you proper trust Mr Dunn?

You what? Why are you asking that?

I've got to go, Mum.

'I-I love you. Bye.'

What are you doing here?
The Cilla Black audition.

Oh, yeah, how's it going?

I know I can do it,
and I nailed the song.

But the girls here
are just different.

Theatre-trained weirdos
obsessed with roleplaying,

saying things like,
"Always be open to the moment."

Especially this one girl, Alex,

who's been looking down her nose
at me the whole time.

Hang on...
what are youse two doing here?

Disneyland Darren's shagging
someone's wife.

And Mr Dunn's cheating on me ma.

Well, Mr Dunn's here with me, so...

You're shagging Dunn?
Yeah.

Nothing gets me going like man who
wears a phone holster on his belt.

Oh, Aimee.

He's chaperoning me! Obviously.

You knobheads. What is it?

We may have sent a mad man
to his room to kick his head in.

What?
Right, here's the plan.

This Alex, what room's she in?

The room at the end of the corridor.
Why?

Cos I'm about to give her a roleplay
she'll never forget.

That'll teach her a lesson.
Reece, you don't have to do that.

No, I do.
No-one treats me mates like that.

Look, youse two go find Dunn
and Disneyland Darren.

I'll be back in a minute.
Let's go.

Hello. Prince William here.

So, obviously, I was in excruciating
pain, but it wasn't until...

Her husband's looking for you!
You need to go now.

And you?
You should be ashamed of yourself -

cheating on your husband like this.

Don't judge me. OK?

He makes me feel alive.

Her husband? That's Alex.

Who's Alex?
Alex.

She's at the auditions with me.

Ah, OK. OK, er,
colliding worlds, dual realities.

Alex, this isn't a roleplay,
you know, love.

Wait. But if she's not the wife,
then where did Reece just go?

I'm ready for you, Prince William.

Now, curtsey to me.

Ah-ah-ah.

A curtsey
like you've just shat yourself.

SHE EXHALES

You're sick in the head, mate.
Fine, scurry away like they all do!

I'll just keep tugging away,
year after year after year.

MUFFLED NEIGHING
Ah, now munch that hay!

Tanya?
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum!

Munch it!

You little... Get here, you!

Come here!
No! Leave him!

No! I can't let this happen
to you, son.

Who are you?!
I told you, Reece.

I never had someone who showed up
when I needed them most,

someone to say, "I got this."

Well, you have, Reece.
Because I've got this, son.

I'm the one your sexy wife
should be in front of

on all fours with her mouth open.

You're not right in the head,
are you?

Not just me head, mate. Everywhere.
Get help, mate.

I have. Trauma therapy.

But it turns out
I don't have trauma.

I really am just this pathetic.

Jesus. You're not even worth it.

Oh, please say I'm worth it!
I wanna feel something.

What on earth is going on?

Reece? Christopher...?

You.
You. You disgust me.

Preying on young,
vulnerable, working-class girls.

Yeah, paying them for sex with cash
like it's the Victorian era.

You're a predator.

I knew you were up to something,
you dirty bastard.

J-Jodie...

There you go, sir.
Your gift for someone special.

Sorry.

Showering them with gifts as well
in return for sex, are we?

No, no, no. No, this is for Sam.

Oh! You do know how to treat a man.

Oh. Just at it with everyone,
are we?

You fucking toerag!
Agh!

That's the last time
I twist your nipples, Dunny.

Jodie! Jodie.
I knew it!

I should never have given
an ugly lad a chance.

J-Jodie, please.
It's not what it looks like!

This is exactly
why working-class stories matter.

So raw, so important,
so - ah! - unapologetically alive!

PHONE BUZZES
MIA-LOUISE: Here it is.

The exact moment that Aimee Morris
becomes a superstar

and ends up ditching me
for her famous friends.

Hello? Yeah.

OK. Thank you.

Turn it off. I didn't get it.

Well, they don't appreciate
a privileged pair of tits, do they?

See you.

What are you doing here? You...
You're supposed to be in geography.

What? Are you following me?

You're always in geography
on a Thursday.

What are you on about, you freak?

Mia-Louise.
We've been looking for you.

See ya!

I was just informing Mr Meacher
of how you took Daisy's phone

and posted a video to our socials...
that's now gone viral.

Viral? Seriously?!

You've humiliated this club.

Do you realise how lucky you are
to be given a chance with us?

Let's not make an overreaction here.

'Hi! So, a lot of you
have been asking about my intake.

'So, this week, I've had...

'14.5 inches of cock,
183 grams of cum,

'17 orgasms, three STDs.

'And that was per... one lad.'

Oh, my God. You only had, like,
a hundred followers before.

Look how many I've got you now.

MIA-LOUISE CHUCKLES

Fuck.

? Beam me up
Beam me up

? Count me in
Count me in

? Three, two, one
Three, two, one

? Let's begin

? Here we go
Here we go

? # Here we go, here we go

? Here we go

? I was in your wet dream
Driving in my car

? Saw you at the side of the road

? There's no-one, let's begin. ?

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