Original subtitles

- N-new shoes?

- I bought 'em online.

They're going to make me

Run faster, jump higher, and dunk harder.

- They look nice.

- They're gonna even look nicer on your face

When I go up for a rim-rattling jam.

Come on. Feed the big man.

- Um, I think your laces are--

- Extra long for extra support?

Hope you brought your umbrella

Because it's about to rain 3s.

Aah! Unh!

Foul.

Captioning made possible by warner bros. Animation

- Bagless, light weight, durable,

5-year warranty,

Free ship--free shipping?

Hello, mommy.

I think someone just made her way to my cart.

[click]

Do I want to proceed to checkout

Or buy all my items with a simple quick click?

Do you have to ask? Quick click.

[computer buzzes]

See you babies in 3 to 5 business days.

- Daffy.

[garage door opener hums]

- Yeah?

- What is all this?

- Stuff I bought on the internet.

- How did you pay for it?

- You don't have to pay for it.

You just press quick click.

- You used my computer.

The quick click is connected to my bank account.

- Ohh. That's why it always says,

"thank you for your purchase, mr. Bunny."

- It's all going back.

- But I need all this stuff.

- I think you have a shopping problem.

- I don't have a shopping problem.

A battery operated spaghetti fork.

- It's the ultimate time saver.

Says it right there on the package.

- It's going back.

[tape scraping]

- What are you doing?

You can't return my toilet paper warmer.

You want me to use cold toilet paper?

Oh, no, no, no.

You are not sending back my vibrating head massager.

I haven't gotten one migraine since I got it.

- It's unopened.

- That proves how effective it is.

[tape scraping]

[game music playing]

- Video games?

What are you? 9 years old?

- It's not just any video game.

It's the best video game.

"gribblers' quest 4: Elves versus fairies versus gribblers."

You can play it as an elf or as a fairy,

But you have to get to level 15

To be a gribbler.

But--

- I don't want one more package

Delivered to this house.

- Fine.

[shouting] I would have let you use the toilet paper warmer.

- Elves versus fairies versus gribblers.

[glass bottles clinking]

[pop top fizzes]

What the heck is a "gribbler" anyway?

Well, one quick game.

- Bugs just said no packages delivered to this house.

[laughing evilly]

- What do you think you're doing with my mail?

- Oh, it's mine. See? It has my name.

- But it has my address.

What's going on here?

- Nothing. I'm just having some stuff I buy online

Sent to your house

So bugs won't know about it.

- Mm-hmm.

Seems to me somebody has a problem.

- I don't have a shopping problem.

- Oh, I'm not talking about shopping.

Your problem's not in here.

It's in here.

- What are you talking about?

- You got a big ol' hole where your heart is

And you're trying to fill it with things.

I know that feeling.

- You don't know anything about me.

But you should probably know that my middle name is sheldon,

In case you have to sign for any more packages.

I'm expecting a portable sauna any day now.

- When you're ready to deal with your real problem,

You know where to find me.

[squealing]

[game beeping]

[music playing]

- Oh, level 2.

You better watch it, elves,

Because this fairy just earned his wings.

[cranking]

[slam]

Hmph. You think a moat is gonna stop me

From entering the castle?

I'm flyin', fool.

[cocks and fires guns]

[gunshots]

Whoa. Who knew elves had guns?

[door opens and closes]

[game noises muffled]

[elves yelling]

[guns firing]

- What is that?

- Oh, I think we might be at war.

You should probably check the tv.

See if it's on the news.

[gunfire continues]

Where's the volume on this thing?

- There's nothing on the news.

- Huh. Guess there's no war.

That's good.

Well, I think I'm gonna go upstairs and play.

I mean, do some work.

Uh, work on that project I've been working on.

- I've got something I need to do, too.

- If the thing you were gonna do

Was send another package to yosemite's house,

Don't bother.

I've changed my password.

- Is it "carrot?"

[computer keys clacking]

- It's not "carrot" anymore.

- Is it "carrot1?"

[computer keys clacking]

- Stay off my computer.

[clock ticking]

[whimpering]

[gasps]

- Ohh!

[creaking]

Ohh! Phew.

Unh! Oof! Ow!

Oh!

Ohh.

[tv blaring]

[click]

Carrot2?

My lord, he's predictable.

- What are you doing? - Ohh!

Please. It's almost midnight.

I'm gonna miss the deal of the day.

It's a tent that sleeps 8 people.

Comfortably.

- You don't even know 8 people.

- Well, I'll meet some on the camping trip.

- No. - I need it.

- Give me that. - Let me just--

It's just a quick click.

- You know what?

[daffy gasps]

- No, no, no!

My tent!

My beautiful 8-person tent is gone.

[crying] why? Why?

Ohh!

[computer beeps]

[daffy gasps] the new deal of the day is up.

Ooh, a professional, in-home waxing kit.

- Aah!

- Grr!

Ha! Unh!

Just give me it.

Ow!

[tv blaring]

Ugh.

- You got my package?

- Hmm.

- It's the first 3 seasons of "ally mcbeal,"

Before robert downy jr. Ruined it.

- I'll give you your package

On one condition.

You come somewhere with me.

- [french accent] I know in the past,

We've talked a lot about my fear of commitment.

Uh, I don't know if this qualifies

As a breakthrough or not,

Uh, but this week,

I've decided to try online dating.

- It's group therapy. - What?

I don't need group therapy.

- Shh!

- Sam, do you have anything you'd like to share?

- I had a, uh, I had a setback this week.

I shot my dry cleaner.

- Huh?

- Oh, it's just a water pistol,

But I--I just kept a-shootin'.

I couldn't stop.

I just felt so angry.

- Why were you angry?

- They didn't get the stain out of my kerchief.

- Do you think your anger might have been misdirected?

- Oh, wow. I hadn't thought of that.

Well, I wasn't mad at him at all.

- Who do you think you're actually angry with?

- It was those kids.

I'm mad at all those kids

Who used to tease me on the playground.

It's not my fault I had a mustache in third grade.

I just wanted to be like everybody else.

No one gave me a chance.

[sam crying] - oh, boy.

- And what about you?

- Oh! Oh!

- Oh, me? Oh, I'm good.

I mean, I've been doing a lot of online shopping lately,

But I don't have a problem.

At least, not compared to these guys,

Who are obviously all crazy.

[marvin blinks]

So, I'm just gonna go ahead and go.

- Where you going?

Do some online shopping?

- I know what you're trying to do.

You want me to break down and cry

And say that the reason I keep buying stuff

Is because I'm trying to fill an emotional void,

That all this confidence is a facade,

It's all fake,

That deep down,

I'm just an insecure, scared, needy little duck

In desperate need of a hug.

- Come here.

[crying]

- I'm just so vulnerable.

[game keys clicking]

- Anyone else want some?

That goblin wanted some

And he got some.

[character screams]

Oh, no!

- Next.

- You go ahead. I just got hit by beetle lightning.

[game keys clicking]

- I can have these ready for you in an hour.

- Is this a good time for you?

- Uh, no. Not really.

- Because I'm trying to take into account

Other people's needs, not just my own.

So, if it's not a good time for you, just tell me.

- It's not a good time.

- Ok, good. Ahem.

[door closes] I've joined a therapy group.

You probably don't know this about me,

But I have some fairly significant emotional issues.

Now, I know I've done a good job covering them up,

But I'm going to finally confront them

In the hopes of becoming a better person.

- Daffy, can we talk about this another--

- The kind of person who listens,

Who takes into consideration what other people want,

What other people need.

- Daffy, I need to get back to work.

You're gonna notice a lot of changes in me.

[choked up] I seem to cry very easily.

[computer keys clacking]

How do you feel about all this?

- Fine. Great.

- You're a very strong, brave woman.

That's what I hope to become.

I'm so glad this was a good time for you to talk.

- Well, guess what, elves?

I just acquired the shroud of guanjaro,

So, your fire can't hurt me

And I will find the key

And I will enter the pit of romulese.

- Wow!

Wow.

I had such an amazing experience today in group.

It's like when one door opens,

Behind it is another door

You didn't even know existed,

And sometimes, that door is locked.

But now, I have the tool to open it.

- The key. - Yes, exactly.

The key. That is the tool you use to open a door.

Granted, I had my share of--

- Demons. - Yes, exactly. Demons.

But I was able to get past one today

Regarding my relationship with porky.

Ha! I had such a breakthrough.

I'm gonna call him.

- No! - I shouldn't call him?

- Go. - You're right.

I should do it in person.

- Go! Go! - Ok, I'm going.

- Jump! - Huh?

- Jump! Jump! - I'm coming porky.

- Stay out of the lava.

- I'll stay out of the lava.

[door closes]

["merrily we roll along" playing]

-  I love to sing-a

 about the moon-a and the June-a 

 and the spring-a

 about a sky of blue, or a tea for two, 

 anything-a with a swing-a to an "I love you-a," 

 oh, I love-a to, I love to sing 

 I love to sing-a

 I like to sing-a never stoppa for my mama 

 'cause I'm her boy-a

 with a cheer for mr. Bunny and another for the ducky 

 just a little song-a makes a black cat lucky 

 oh, I love-a to, I love to sing 

 I was born a singin' monster 

 la dee da

 oh, nothing's gonna stop me 

 I'll sing-a my way through grade school 

 la dee da

 the microphone's got me

 'cause when I wake up with a song-a in my mouth-a 

 or like this friend-a,

 with a cheer for dear granny 

 and you, yosemite sammy

 I love to sing

-  I love to sing-a

 about the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a 

 I love to sing-a

 about a sky of blue, or a tea for two, 

 anything-a with a swing-a to an "I love you-a," 

 oh, I love to sing

 I love to sing

- Are you sure this is a good time for you?

- Uh, like I said,

If you could just wait till I'm out of the tub?

- Ok, good.

Porky, I've had a breakthrough.

I feel like there have been times in our relationship

Where I may have been unkind to you,

Where I've maybe treated you poorly or made fun of you.

But what I realized in group today,

Was that all the mean things I ever said to you,

The times that I mistreated you,

That--that was really about me.

It was me that I disliked.

You were and are a wonderful person.

And now, I want to ask you something

That I've never thought to ask

But I really want to know the answer.

The deep down, inside answer.

And really listen.

How are you, porky?

- Uh, I--I'm uncomfortable.

- I get that.

It's ok. Be that.

You can just be that right now.

Here, with me.

Be uncomfortable. I won't judge you.

- I, uh, think I'd like to get out of the tub.

- Oh, of course.

Now how do you feel?

- I'm still pretty uncomfortable.

- You know what we do in group when someone feels that way?

We hug.

We simply hug one another.

Now how do you feel?

- Uh, still uncomfortable.

- Then, let's just stay right here

And keep hugging.

Hope you guys are hungry,

Because we are celebrating this morning.

- Uh, what are we celebrating?

- Friendship.

Love.

And that the world's a better place

With the both of you in it.

- I gotta say, I'm proud of you, daffy.

You've come a long way.

- Yeah. I like the new daffy.

- Ha ha ha.

I think you like the new daffy's pancakes.

[laughing]

Hey, there. You hungry?

- I don't need food. I need a dragon's tooth.

- You look terrible. Are you ok?

- No. No, I'm not ok.

I haven't slept in 3 days.

I'm out of recovery potions,

I'm down to my last magic arrow,

And I'm stuck on level 14.

I'll never be a gribbler.

- What's with him?

- I think bugs has a problem

And he needs our help.

- Well, what can we do?

[game keys clacking]

- Just be here.

Through group, I've learned that one-on-one interventions

Can feel confrontational and tend to escalate,

Whereas group interventions

Are more supportive.

Bugs? Can I talk to you?

- Go away. I'm busy.

- He's barracaded himself in there.

Get back. I'm gonna bust the door down.

[crash] unh!

Ohh.

[crash]

- It wasn't even locked.

[game keys clacking]

[game beeping]

- Yes! I won!

I'm a gribbler!

Finally!

[sighs]

Here. Take it.

I don't ever want to see that thing again.

- I wish it were that simple.

Your problem's not in here.

It's in here.

- What? - Bugs, it's ok.

You hate yourself.

- I don't hate myself.

- You're mad at the world

Because when you were a kid, everyone picked on you.

- No one picked on me. I was very popular.

- You couldn't stop playing that video game

Because you have deep-seated issues.

- I don't have deep-seated issues.

I just couldn't stop playing the game

Because I liked playing the game.

I'm starving.

[daffy blinks]

-Huh.

Well, then, maybe I couldn't stop online shopping

Because I just like online shopping.

That would mean that I don't have

Any deep-seated issues, either.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- I don't have any problems.

- Uh, I think you do have problems,

- I don't need group therapy.

- I'd stick with the group therapy.

- There was never anything wrong with me.

- Actually--

- I was perfect. - I wouldn't say that.

- I am perfect. - Uh, I'm--

- I am a perfect person.

Get ready, world.

Here I come.

["merrily we roll along" playing]

-  he's marching on the freeway 

 so, get out of his way

 'cause he's holding in a monster

 made of papier mache

 why stay in one lane when he can take them all? 

 he drives a diesel-burning dump truck

 that's 18 feet tall

-  parade float

-  the a.C. Blows hot

-  parade float

-  the transmission is shot 

-  parade float

-  it's so fun to drive

-  parade float

-  it won't go over 25

- Ah-whoo!

 parade float

 did somebody order a bass solo? 

Wait. Wait.

Closer.

Almost.

There it is.

Oh, ho! There it is.

-  it's too slow to pull over 

 and it's too big to steal 

 you'll never tip it over

 it's got 2 feet and 4 wheels 

 it gets 1 mile to the gallon 

 and it tends to catch on fire 

 and the only way to start it 

 is with a pair of pliers

-  you know, environmentalists say, 

 "your car is too big,"

 but I say,

 "your planet's too small" 

-  he still celebrates and decorates 

 his super grade [indistinct] 

-  parade float

-  it hits curbs a bunch 

-  parade float

-  it eats hybrids for lunch 

-  parade float

-  just don't try to pass

-  parade float

-  or he'll flatten your car 

- Ah-whoo!

 parade float

Suckers.

[crunch]

[computer keys clacking]

- Carrot3?

You couldn't think of anything better than "carrot3?"

[bugs sighs]

I just got us an underwater dart set.

Captioning made possible by warner bros. Animation

Captioned by the national captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org--

- Who wants a hug?

Come on. You know you need one.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0