Original subtitles

- I'm going to the grocery store.

- Oh, wait. Here.

It's just a few things.

- A few things, huh?

What do you need with 16 tubes of lip balm?

You don't have lips.

- It's not for my lips.

- I don't want to know.

Well, what's this, a drawing?

- Yeah, I need some of those, uh,

I forget what they're called.

- Eggs?

- Eggs! How do you remember that?

- I take it you don't have any money.

- Oh, thank you. Add that to the list, too.

Captioning made possible by warner bros. Animation

- What are these things? Oh, no.

Uh, excuse me. Where are the carrots?

- In your hand.

- No, not these. The real ones.

The big ones. You know, with the stems.

- Oh, yeah. We don't carry those anymore.

- What do you mean, you don't carry those anymore?

- No one was buyin' 'em.

- I was buyin' 'em.

- What's wrong with those?

- Peeled, bite-sized,

Baby carrot neeblers?

- Nibblers.

- I don't care what they're called.

I'm not a baby. I'm a grown rabbit.

I can chew my own carrots.

- Well, they're not pre-chewed. They're just bite-sized.

- Well, I'm not buying 'em.

- Ok. - No, it's not ok.

Because you are losing my business.

And I was going to buy a lot of stuff.

I got a big ol' list here.

I was going to buy, uh, 500 yards of sheet metal.

- We don't sell sheet metal.

- Not to me, you don't. You know what else

You're not going to sell me?

Seven dozen cans of dolphin unsafe tuna.

Why? Because I'm not coming back here.

I'm going to grow my own carrots.

You hear me? I'm taking a stand.

Because if you stand for nothing,

Then you're surely going to fall for anything.

Heh heh heh!

[vocalizing]

- Where did you get all those carrots?

- You're kidding. I've been gardening every day

For the past three months.

- No, you haven't. I hang out with you

From the second I wake up until the second I go to sleep.

You don't do anything.

- What time do you wake up?

- I don't know, 4:00 p.M. Maybe 4:30.

- Yeah. I do it before then.

- Hey, guys.

- We're in the kitchen.

- I have exciting news.

- You're moving. - What?! No!

- You're sick with something, like a weird airborne something,

And you're the first one

To get it, but everybody's going to get it.

- No!

- You're a robot disguised as a pig,

And your eyes are video cameras.

- No, stop guessing.

- Well, then, you're moving. What else is there?

- I got a catering job!

- What's exciting about that?

- I'm catering on the set of a tv commercial.

- A tv commercial? How exciting.

Why didn't you tell us you had exciting news?

- Congratulations, porky.

- It's a big opportunity.

So my food's got to be great.

- Well, if you want the carrots, I got a whole bunch of 'em.

- Oh, you know, I haven't chosen a dessert yet.

Maybe I can make my grandmother's carrot cake recipe.

- Well, there you go.

- Mmm! They're so sweet.

These will be perfect. Thanks, bugs.

- So what's the commercial for?

- Clean and shiny hair gel.

- Oh, that's my brand. Can I come to the shoot?

- I...Don't know. - Come on.

I bet they'll have free samples.

- Uh, um, uh-- - please?!

I promise I won't get in the way.

- Will somebody get this duck out of the way.

- Psst, daffy!

- What? I'm barely in the shot.

- Daffy, you promised you'd stay out of the way.

- I never said that. - Action!

- When I reach for hair gel, I reach for clean and shiny.

- And cut.

Great job, everybody.

[bell rings]

- That's it? He's done?

He said one line!

Hey, how much do you think that guy gets paid?

- A lot.

- A lot of money for barely any work.

Porky, I have exciting news.

- You're going to try to be a commercial actor?

- Don't guess. That's so rude. Who does that?

But yes, I'm going to try to be a commercial actor.

Let's see here.

Ooh, this looks like a good audition.

Mighty wheat breakfast cereal.

Actor wanted for national campaign.

Looking for likeable males,

Charismatic, friendly dad-types.

That's me!

- Someone from genco called.

- What's genco?

- The company that makes

Clean and shiny hair gel.

They said they wanted to talk to me about my food.

They said it's urgent! Ahh. I bet they hated it.

- What? Ah, for all you know,

They're calling to tell you they loved it.

Maybe they want to hire you again.

- You think so? - No way.

They said it's urgent. That's never good news.

I bet a bunch of people got sick from your food.

Maybe someone died.

This is bad, porky.

This is really bad.

- Ohh!

- Well, I'm off

To my first commercial audition. Wish me luck.

- Just call. I'm sure it's fine.

[dialing]

[line ringing] - it's ringing.

I'm going to hang up.

- Don't hang up.

- Oh, yes, hi, this is porky pig

Returning your call.

Yes, I'm the one who made the carrot cake.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

They all did? Even the head of the company?

- They got sick?

- Oh, but it's not just me.

I mean, my friend, bugs bunny grew the carrots.

- What?! Don't get me involved!

- Oh, yeah. None of this would have happened without bugs.

- You made the cake! It's your fault!

- Bunny. B-u-n-n-y.

- Hang up, hang up!

- Ok. We'll be in touch.

- You'll be in touch! Not me, you.

- Bye-bye.

- Why did you get me involved? I don't want to be involved.

- It's too late. You're already involved.

- Bugs? I think you're going to want to sit down for this.

- Oh, boy.

- They loved it! - Say what?

- They said it was the best carrot cake they've ever had.

They want to sell it in stores.

- What do you mean? I thought they made hair gel.

- Genco's a giant company. They make everything.

- Well, that's great, porky,

But what does this have to do with me?

- It wasn't just my recipe.

It was your carrots.

We're a team.

They're going to send over a contract.

We're going to be rich!

We're going to be rich.

We are going to be rich.

- We're going to be rich! We're going to be rich!

We're going to be rich!

- If you're not eating mighty wheats,

You're not eating breakfast.

Oh, that sounds weird.

If you're not eating mighty wheats,

You're not eating breakfast.

Or, if you're not eating mighty, wheats?

You're not eating breakfast.

Yep, that sounds good.

- Daffy duck.

- Name? - Daffy sheldon duck.

- Profile? - Ok.

Well, I like to think of myself as an outgoing type,

But I have a serious side, too.

I love reading, thai food--

- No, we need to see your profile.

- Ahh.

- Ohh, that's a big beak!

- Thank you, it gets the job done.

- Ok, when I say, "action,"

You'll take a bite of cereal and then say your line.

- Let me just warm up my voice for a second.

 mi mi mi mi mi mi

[coughs]  la la la la la pbbt pbbt pbbt 

 wyoming

 wyoming, wyoming, wyoming

[vocalizing and scatting]

Ok, I'm ready.

- Action.

- Ugh! Oh!

This is the worst taste I've ever had in my mouth!

What is this made of? Is it dirt?

Oh, my lord, my lord. This is awful.

Is it supposed to taste like this?

I mean, who would eat this?

Have any of you tried this? This is shocking!

Anyway. If you're not eating mighty, wheats?

You're not eating breakfast.

- Here's the contract from genco.

What do you think? Should we sign it?

- I don't even understand it.

I mean, "whereby, the party of the first part

Agrees to sell to the party of the second part..."

- Is that the carrot cake?

- "however, the party of the first part

"represents and warrants

To the party of the second part..."

This is a very confusing party.

- Hey.

- Oh, how'd it go?

- They said my audition was,

Quote, "unlike anything they'd ever seen before."

- Ooh. So you got the part?

- No. But I'm going to get this one.

I'm so right for it, it's crazy.

"comfort silk pantyhose--

"because no matter how hard I work,

I still want to feel like a lady."

- I'm pretty sure that part's for a woman.

- What? - We have exciting news.

- You're both moving. - No!

Genco wants to buy our carrot cake.

But we can't make heads or tails of this contract.

- You should have that big fat rooster take a look at it.

- Foghorn? Isn't he a little...Nutty?

- He's a lot nutty.

But he's also the world's richest rooster.

- Huh. Maybe it wouldn't hurt.

- All right.

- Ooh, I better get to my audition.

What? You're the one who said the part was for a woman.

- Mm-hmm.

Ok, uh, a pretty standard contract.

I'll say, pretty standard contract.

- So you think it's a fair deal?

- Well, I'd say it's more than fair.

This is an incredibly generous offer.

- Well, thank you so much for your time.

- Thank you, I say thank you for the cake.

- Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

- We're going to be rich!

-  we're going to be rich, we're going to be rich! 

- Hold it right there.

Do not, I say do not,

Sign that contract.

- But you said it was a generous offer.

- That was before I tried this here cake. Mmm.

I say, mm-hmm!

Why, that offer's insulting

For something that tastes this good.

- So what are you saying?

- I'm saying, you should tear up that contract

And go into business for yourselves.

Why, you'd make ten times, I say, ten times as much money.

Boys...You're about to be really rich.

-  we're going to be really rich!

 we're going to be really rich! 

 we're going to be really rich! 

-  you're going to be really rich, you're going to be really rich 

 I said, you're going to be really rich 

- All right, here we are.

Our first meeting as partners in the, uh--huh.

Well, I guess that's our first order of business,

Naming our carrot cake company.

- Well, on that note,

I hope you don't mind, but I already started kicking around some ideas.

I was so excited, I stayed up all night, and--

- Before we look at that, I just want to say

How thankful I am for our friendship.

- Me, too.

None of this would be happening without it.

- Now, let's see what my friend's been working on all night.

- Well?

- Old pig cake?

You stayed up all night and came up with old pig cake?

- You don't like it?

- What does it even mean?

- Well, the "old" is for old fashioned,

'cause it's my grandmother's recipe.

And the "pig," well, that was her last name.

And "cake," because it's cake.

- I'm sorry. But "old pig cake"

Just sounds like cake that's been sitting in the mud

For a really long time.

- Well, what would you call it?

- I don't know. Cc cake?

- Eh, cc cake?

What does that mean?

- You know, cc, carrot cake.

- Yeah, but you said cc cake.

That's a carrot cake cake.

That doesn't even make sense.

- It's better than old pig cake.

- So what are you saying?

- I'm saying I'm not putting my carrots

Into something with the words "old" and "pig" on it.

- Well, I'm not going to bake something

That has the word "cake" on it twice.

- Fine. - Fine.

- Hey!

Do you mind?!

Some of us are trying to sleep!

- It's 4:45 in the afternoon.

- [gasps] I've overslept!

I'm late for my audition!

Oh! Ooh! Ooh-ho!

Fresh brite. It whitens while it brightens.

Simply roll your way to sexy abs.

[grunting and groaning]

[coughs]

[yawns]

Nothing wakes me up like a fresh cup

Of cisero's coffee.

Oh! Ow!

Ahh!

[grunting and groaning]

Big bubble bubble gum.

The flavor goes on and on.

[pop]

[muffled grunting and groaning]

[grunting and groaning]

Gloria's cleaning spray.

There is no surface it can't clean.

[screaming]

- What do you think?

- What do you think?

- It's old fashioned, but it doesn't feel old.

- And we're both equally represented.

- We even gave a nod to your grandmother.

- I like it. - I like it, too.

Mrs. Porkybunny's carrot cake.

- Ooh, this is so exciting. We have a name!

- See what happens when we compromise?

- You're right. From here on out,

No more arguing.

- That's right. No more arguing.

Now, how do we get mrs. Porkybunny's name out there?

I was thinking...Billboards.

- Billboards?

- Yeah! You know, you're stuck in traffic,

You're hungry. You look up, and there we are.

Pop in the store, pick one up.

- But that's so impersonal.

- Oh, really? Then what were you thinking?

- I was thinking more of a door to door approach.

You know, neighbor to neighbor.

- Oh, that's a great idea.

Then maybe in 200 or 300 years, we'll actually turn a profit.

- Is this your idea of a compromise?

- Sorry, but I'm not walking all over town

Ringing doorbells with a cake in my hand.

- Well, I don't want my grandma's recipe

Plastered on the side of a dirty freeway!

- Oh, now you have a problem with dirt,

Mr. Dirty pig cake.

- It was old pig cake. There was nothing dirty about it!

- Mrs. Porkybunny's?

Ha ha ha ha!

That's the worst thing I've ever heard!

It makes me think of some weird mutant pig rabbit,

Like it's going to have little bits of cotton tail and hooves in there.

- Is there some place else you can be right now?

- As a matter of fact, I have a big commercial audition.

It's for an anti diarrheal medication.

"the next time you get diarrhea, you might just think of me.

- Wait a second.

We should do a commercial.

We'll reach millions of people,

But it'll be like we're in their living room.

- It's the perfect compromise.

- Let me be in it.

- Say what? - Say what?

- Let me be in your commercial! Come on!

No one believes in mrs. Porkybunny's more than I do.

- You just said it was the worst thing you ever heard.

- I was acting! You believed that?

That proves what a good actor I am.

- Ehh.

- Please! I'm begging you.

Commercials are impossible to get.

You guys are my friends!

Isn't that what this is all about?

Hello!

I'm mrs. Porkybunny.

If there's one thing I love,

Oh, I start out with garden fresh, homegrown carrots,

The big kind.

Then I add a pinch of sugar, a hint of vanilla,

And most importantly,

A whole lot of love.

Save room for mrs. Porkybunny.

I did.

Mmm!

- That wasn't so bad. Right?

Right?

[porky groaning]

[chickens clucking]

[squawking]

-  you see me standing here in front of you 

 like a dumb reprobate with nothing to do 

 well, I'm no einstein

 but I know a thing or two

 I make my decisions and I take a stand 

 I call 'em like I see 'em 'cause I'm my own man 

 win or lose, I don't need no help from you 

[chickens squawking]

 start my day with a cup of transfat 

 and I open my windows with a baseball bat 

 and when I don't recognize a number 

 I answer immediately

 I built my dream house on a stretch of wet sand 

 and matchbox twenty is my favorite band 

 every album they release, I buy obediently 

 'cause I go full throttle and I don't think twice 

 I do my skating on real thin ice 

 I'd like to say I stick to my guns 

 but I'm just good at making bad decisions 

 I wore ankle weights when I ran with the bulls 

 I sold my mickey mantle rookie card 

 to a one-eye hobo sleepy for a dollar 

 I declared a vendetta on the mafia 

 I used to keep my money in mason jars 

 but now I just carry it with me at all times 

 I heat my house with the microwave 

 I practice yoga in a grizzly cave 

 and even though I have no friends 

 I have three guest bedrooms

 I ride my ten-speed on the interstate 

 I asked a cannibal girl to a dinner date 

 and I paid $27,000 for this rhinestone 

 'cause I'm a man who goes with his gut 

 I won't back off, I'll tell you what 

 I'd like to say I stick to my guns 

 but I'm just good at making bad decisions 

 bad decisions

- I have good news and I have bad news.

- What's the good news?

- I love, I say, I love your commercial.

- What? - You did?

- Casting daffy as mrs. Porkybunny

Was a stroke, I say, a stroke of genius!

I found the character likeable, heartwarming,

And utterly endearing.

- Well, that's great. But what's the bad news?

- America found mrs. Porkybunny unlikable,

Untrustworthy, and very,

I say very, disturbing.

- So what does that mean for the company?

- I'm afraid, I say I'm afraid,

Mrs. Porkybunny's baked her last cake.

You're bankrupt, boys.

- [sighs]

I thought we were going to be rich.

- But you are! - Huh?

- You put daffy in that commercial

Because he was your friend.

And while money might make you wealthy,

It's friendship that makes you rich.

- So what you're saying is, we're still rich.

We're still rich.

We're still rich.

We're still rich. We're still rich!

- In friendship. - We're still rich!

- But not in money. - We're still rich!

- I'm just going to... - We're still rich.

- Metaphorically.

- We're still rich. We're still rich!

- Not economically.

- We're still rich! We're still rich!

Captioning made possible by warner bros. Animation

Captioned by the national captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org--

- Ok, I got it.

That's all, folks!

No, wait, that sounded weird.

That's! All, folks.

Yeah, that sounded better.

That was a keeper.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0