All language subtitles for The Looney Tunes Show s02e16 Mrs Porkybunnys

- I'm going
to the grocery store.

- Oh, wait. Here.

It's just a few things.

- A few things, huh?

What do you need
with 16 tubes of lip balm?

You don't have lips.

- It's not for my lips.

- I don't want to know.

Well, what's this,
a drawing?

- Yeah, I need
some of those, uh,

I forget what they're called.

- Eggs?

- Eggs! How do you
remember that?

- I take it you don't have
any money.

- Oh, thank you.
Add that to the list, too.

Captioning made possible by
warner bros. Animation

- What are these things? Oh, no.

Uh, excuse me.
Where are the carrots?

- In your hand.

- No, not these.
The real ones.

The big ones.
You know, with the stems.

- Oh, yeah. We don't
carry those anymore.

- What do you mean,
you don't carry those anymore?

- No one was buyin' 'em.

- I was buyin' 'em.

- What's wrong with those?

- Peeled, bite-sized,

Baby carrot neeblers?

- Nibblers.

- I don't care what
they're called.

I'm not a baby.
I'm a grown rabbit.

I can chew my own carrots.

- Well, they're not pre-chewed.
They're just bite-sized.

- Well, I'm not buying 'em.

- Ok.
- No, it's not ok.

Because you are losing
my business.

And I was going to buy
a lot of stuff.

I got a big ol' list here.

I was going to buy, uh,
500 yards of sheet metal.

- We don't sell sheet metal.

- Not to me, you don't.
You know what else

You're not going to sell me?

Seven dozen cans
of dolphin unsafe tuna.

Why? Because I'm not
coming back here.

I'm going to grow
my own carrots.

You hear me?
I'm taking a stand.

Because if you stand
for nothing,

Then you're surely going
to fall for anything.

Heh heh heh!

[vocalizing]

- Where did you get
all those carrots?

- You're kidding.
I've been gardening every day

For the past three months.

- No, you haven't.
I hang out with you

From the second I wake up
until the second I go to sleep.

You don't do anything.

- What time do you wake up?

- I don't know,
4:00 p.M. Maybe 4:30.

- Yeah. I do it before then.

- Hey, guys.

- We're in the kitchen.

- I have exciting news.

- You're moving.
- What?! No!

- You're sick with something,
like a weird airborne something,

And you're the first one

To get it, but everybody's
going to get it.

- No!

- You're a robot
disguised as a pig,

And your eyes are video cameras.

- No, stop guessing.

- Well, then, you're moving.
What else is there?

- I got a catering job!

- What's exciting about that?

- I'm catering on the set
of a tv commercial.

- A tv commercial?
How exciting.

Why didn't you tell us
you had exciting news?

- Congratulations, porky.

- It's a big opportunity.

So my food's got to be great.

- Well, if you want the carrots,
I got a whole bunch of 'em.

- Oh, you know, I haven't
chosen a dessert yet.

Maybe I can make
my grandmother's carrot cake recipe.

- Well, there you go.

- Mmm! They're so sweet.

These will be perfect.
Thanks, bugs.

- So what's the commercial for?

- Clean and shiny hair gel.

- Oh, that's my brand.
Can I come to the shoot?

- I...Don't know.
- Come on.

I bet they'll have
free samples.

- Uh, um, uh--
- please?!

I promise I won't
get in the way.

- Will somebody
get this duck out of the way.

- Psst, daffy!

- What? I'm barely in the shot.

- Daffy, you promised
you'd stay out of the way.

- I never said that.
- Action!

- When I reach for hair gel,
I reach for clean and shiny.

- And cut.

Great job, everybody.

[bell rings]

- That's it? He's done?

He said one line!

Hey, how much do you think
that guy gets paid?

- A lot.

- A lot of money
for barely any work.

Porky, I have exciting news.

- You're going to try
to be a commercial actor?

- Don't guess.
That's so rude. Who does that?

But yes, I'm going to try
to be a commercial actor.

Let's see here.

Ooh, this looks like
a good audition.

Mighty wheat breakfast cereal.

Actor wanted
for national campaign.

Looking for likeable males,

Charismatic,
friendly dad-types.

That's me!

- Someone from genco called.

- What's genco?

- The company that makes

Clean and shiny hair gel.

They said they wanted
to talk to me about my food.

They said it's urgent! Ahh.
I bet they hated it.

- What? Ah, for all you know,

They're calling to tell you
they loved it.

Maybe they want
to hire you again.

- You think so?
- No way.

They said it's urgent.
That's never good news.

I bet a bunch of people
got sick from your food.

Maybe someone died.

This is bad, porky.

This is really bad.

- Ohh!

- Well, I'm off

To my first commercial
audition. Wish me luck.

- Just call.
I'm sure it's fine.

[dialing]

[line ringing]
- it's ringing.

I'm going to hang up.

- Don't hang up.

- Oh, yes, hi, this is porky pig

Returning your call.

Yes, I'm the one
who made the carrot cake.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

They all did?
Even the head of the company?

- They got sick?

- Oh, but it's not just me.

I mean, my friend,
bugs bunny grew the carrots.

- What?! Don't get me involved!

- Oh, yeah. None of this
would have happened without bugs.

- You made the cake!
It's your fault!

- Bunny. B-u-n-n-y.

- Hang up, hang up!

- Ok. We'll be in touch.

- You'll be in touch!
Not me, you.

- Bye-bye.

- Why did you get me involved?
I don't want to be involved.

- It's too late.
You're already involved.

- Bugs? I think you're going
to want to sit down for this.

- Oh, boy.

- They loved it!
- Say what?

- They said it was the best
carrot cake they've ever had.

They want to sell it in stores.

- What do you mean?
I thought they made hair gel.

- Genco's a giant company.
They make everything.

- Well, that's great, porky,

But what does this
have to do with me?

- It wasn't just my recipe.

It was your carrots.

We're a team.

They're going
to send over a contract.

We're going to be rich!

We're going to be rich.

We are going to be rich.

- We're going to be rich!
We're going to be rich!

We're going to be rich!

- If you're not eating
mighty wheats,

You're not eating breakfast.

Oh, that sounds weird.

If you're not eating
mighty wheats,

You're not eating breakfast.

Or, if you're not
eating mighty, wheats?

You're not eating breakfast.

Yep, that sounds good.

- Daffy duck.

- Name?
- Daffy sheldon duck.

- Profile?
- Ok.

Well, I like to think of myself
as an outgoing type,

But I have a serious side, too.

I love reading, thai food--

- No, we need
to see your profile.

- Ahh.

- Ohh, that's a big beak!

- Thank you,
it gets the job done.

- Ok, when I say, "action,"

You'll take a bite of cereal
and then say your line.

- Let me just warm up
my voice for a second.

mi mi mi mi mi mi

[coughs] la la la la
la pbbt pbbt pbbt

wyoming

wyoming, wyoming, wyoming

[vocalizing and scatting]

Ok, I'm ready.

- Action.

- Ugh! Oh!

This is the worst taste
I've ever had in my mouth!

What is this made of?
Is it dirt?

Oh, my lord, my lord.
This is awful.

Is it supposed
to taste like this?

I mean, who would eat this?

Have any of you tried this?
This is shocking!

Anyway. If you're not
eating mighty, wheats?

You're not eating breakfast.

- Here's the contract
from genco.

What do you think?
Should we sign it?

- I don't even understand it.

I mean, "whereby,
the party of the first part

Agrees to sell to the party
of the second part..."

- Is that the carrot cake?

- "however, the party
of the first part

"represents and warrants

To the party
of the second part..."

This is a very confusing party.

- Hey.

- Oh, how'd it go?

- They said my audition was,

Quote, "unlike anything
they'd ever seen before."

- Ooh. So you got the part?

- No. But I'm going
to get this one.

I'm so right for it,
it's crazy.

"comfort silk pantyhose--

"because no matter
how hard I work,

I still want
to feel like a lady."

- I'm pretty sure that part's
for a woman.

- What?
- We have exciting news.

- You're both moving.
- No!

Genco wants to buy
our carrot cake.

But we can't make heads
or tails of this contract.

- You should have
that big fat rooster take a look at it.

- Foghorn?
Isn't he a little...Nutty?

- He's a lot nutty.

But he's also the world's
richest rooster.

- Huh. Maybe it wouldn't hurt.

- All right.

- Ooh, I better get
to my audition.

What? You're the one who said
the part was for a woman.

- Mm-hmm.

Ok, uh, a pretty
standard contract.

I'll say,
pretty standard contract.

- So you think
it's a fair deal?

- Well, I'd say
it's more than fair.

This is an incredibly
generous offer.

- Well, thank you so much
for your time.

- Thank you,
I say thank you for the cake.

- Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

- We're going to be rich!

- we're going to be rich,
we're going to be rich!

- Hold it right there.

Do not, I say do not,

Sign that contract.

- But you said
it was a generous offer.

- That was before I tried
this here cake. Mmm.

I say, mm-hmm!

Why, that offer's insulting

For something
that tastes this good.

- So what are you saying?

- I'm saying, you should
tear up that contract

And go into business
for yourselves.

Why, you'd make ten times,
I say, ten times as much money.

Boys...You're about
to be really rich.

- we're going
to be really rich!

we're going
to be really rich!

we're going
to be really rich!

- you're going to be
really rich, you're going to be really rich

I said, you're going
to be really rich

- All right, here we are.

Our first meeting as partners
in the, uh--huh.

Well, I guess that's
our first order of business,

Naming our carrot cake company.

- Well, on that note,

I hope you don't mind,
but I already started kicking around some ideas.

I was so excited,
I stayed up all night, and--

- Before we look at that,
I just want to say

How thankful I am
for our friendship.

- Me, too.

None of this would be happening
without it.

- Now, let's see
what my friend's been working on all night.

- Well?

- Old pig cake?

You stayed up all night
and came up with old pig cake?

- You don't like it?

- What does it even mean?

- Well, the "old"
is for old fashioned,

'cause it's
my grandmother's recipe.

And the "pig,"
well, that was her last name.

And "cake,"
because it's cake.

- I'm sorry.
But "old pig cake"

Just sounds like cake
that's been sitting in the mud

For a really long time.

- Well, what would you call it?

- I don't know. Cc cake?

- Eh, cc cake?

What does that mean?

- You know, cc, carrot cake.

- Yeah, but you said cc cake.

That's a carrot cake cake.

That doesn't even make sense.

- It's better than old pig cake.

- So what are you saying?

- I'm saying I'm not
putting my carrots

Into something with the words
"old" and "pig" on it.

- Well, I'm not going
to bake something

That has the word "cake"
on it twice.

- Fine.
- Fine.

- Hey!

Do you mind?!

Some of us are trying to sleep!

- It's 4:45 in the afternoon.

- [gasps] I've overslept!

I'm late for my audition!

Oh! Ooh! Ooh-ho!

Fresh brite.
It whitens while it brightens.

Simply roll your way
to sexy abs.

[grunting and groaning]

[coughs]

[yawns]

Nothing wakes me up
like a fresh cup

Of cisero's coffee.

Oh! Ow!

Ahh!

[grunting and groaning]

Big bubble bubble gum.

The flavor goes on and on.

[pop]

[muffled grunting and groaning]

[grunting and groaning]

Gloria's cleaning spray.

There is no surface
it can't clean.

[screaming]

- What do you think?

- What do you think?

- It's old fashioned,
but it doesn't feel old.

- And we're both
equally represented.

- We even gave a nod
to your grandmother.

- I like it.
- I like it, too.

Mrs. Porkybunny's carrot cake.

- Ooh, this is so exciting.
We have a name!

- See what happens
when we compromise?

- You're right.
From here on out,

No more arguing.

- That's right.
No more arguing.

Now, how do we get
mrs. Porkybunny's name out there?

I was thinking...Billboards.

- Billboards?

- Yeah! You know,
you're stuck in traffic,

You're hungry.
You look up, and there we are.

Pop in the store,
pick one up.

- But that's so impersonal.

- Oh, really?
Then what were you thinking?

- I was thinking more
of a door to door approach.

You know, neighbor to neighbor.

- Oh, that's a great idea.

Then maybe in 200 or 300 years,
we'll actually turn a profit.

- Is this your idea
of a compromise?

- Sorry, but I'm not
walking all over town

Ringing doorbells
with a cake in my hand.

- Well, I don't want
my grandma's recipe

Plastered on the side
of a dirty freeway!

- Oh, now you have
a problem with dirt,

Mr. Dirty pig cake.

- It was old pig cake.
There was nothing dirty about it!

- Mrs. Porkybunny's?

Ha ha ha ha!

That's the worst thing
I've ever heard!

It makes me think of some
weird mutant pig rabbit,

Like it's going to have
little bits of cotton tail and hooves in there.

- Is there some place else
you can be right now?

- As a matter of fact, I have
a big commercial audition.

It's for an anti diarrheal
medication.

"the next time you get diarrhea,
you might just think of me.

- Wait a second.

We should do a commercial.

We'll reach millions of people,

But it'll be like
we're in their living room.

- It's the perfect compromise.

- Let me be in it.

- Say what?
- Say what?

- Let me be in your commercial!
Come on!

No one believes
in mrs. Porkybunny's more than I do.

- You just said it was
the worst thing you ever heard.

- I was acting!
You believed that?

That proves what
a good actor I am.

- Ehh.

- Please! I'm begging you.

Commercials
are impossible to get.

You guys are my friends!

Isn't that what
this is all about?

Hello!

I'm mrs. Porkybunny.

If there's one thing I love,

Oh, I start out
with garden fresh, homegrown carrots,

The big kind.

Then I add a pinch of sugar,
a hint of vanilla,

And most importantly,

A whole lot of love.

Save room for mrs. Porkybunny.

I did.

Mmm!

- That wasn't so bad. Right?

Right?

[porky groaning]

[chickens clucking]

[squawking]

- you see me standing here
in front of you

like a dumb reprobate
with nothing to do

well, I'm no einstein

but I know a thing or two

I make my decisions
and I take a stand

I call 'em like I see 'em
'cause I'm my own man

win or lose,
I don't need no help from you

[chickens squawking]

start my day
with a cup of transfat

and I open my windows
with a baseball bat

and when I don't
recognize a number

I answer immediately

I built my dream house
on a stretch of wet sand

and matchbox twenty
is my favorite band

every album they release,
I buy obediently

'cause I go full throttle
and I don't think twice

I do my skating
on real thin ice

I'd like to say
I stick to my guns

but I'm just good
at making bad decisions

I wore ankle weights
when I ran with the bulls

I sold my mickey mantle
rookie card

to a one-eye hobo sleepy
for a dollar

I declared a vendetta
on the mafia

I used to keep my money
in mason jars

but now I just carry it
with me at all times

I heat my house
with the microwave

I practice yoga
in a grizzly cave

and even though
I have no friends

I have three guest bedrooms

I ride my ten-speed
on the interstate

I asked a cannibal girl
to a dinner date

and I paid $27,000
for this rhinestone

'cause I'm a man
who goes with his gut

I won't back off,
I'll tell you what

I'd like to say
I stick to my guns

but I'm just good
at making bad decisions

bad decisions

- I have good news
and I have bad news.

- What's the good news?

- I love, I say,
I love your commercial.

- What?
- You did?

- Casting daffy
as mrs. Porkybunny

Was a stroke, I say,
a stroke of genius!

I found the character
likeable, heartwarming,

And utterly endearing.

- Well, that's great.
But what's the bad news?

- America found
mrs. Porkybunny unlikable,

Untrustworthy, and very,

I say very, disturbing.

- So what does that mean
for the company?

- I'm afraid, I say I'm afraid,

Mrs. Porkybunny's
baked her last cake.

You're bankrupt, boys.

- [sighs]

I thought
we were going to be rich.

- But you are!
- Huh?

- You put daffy
in that commercial

Because he was your friend.

And while money
might make you wealthy,

It's friendship
that makes you rich.

- So what you're saying is,
we're still rich.

We're still rich.

We're still rich.

We're still rich.
We're still rich!

- In friendship.
- We're still rich!

- But not in money.
- We're still rich!

- I'm just going to...
- We're still rich.

- Metaphorically.

- We're still rich.
We're still rich!

- Not economically.

- We're still rich!
We're still rich!

Captioning made possible by
warner bros. Animation

Captioned by the national
captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org--

- Ok, I got it.

That's all, folks!

No, wait, that sounded weird.

That's! All, folks.

Yeah, that sounded better.

That was a keeper.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0