Original subtitles

[tires squealing]

In here!

What's the emergency?

Can you open this for me?

You called 9-1-1 because you couldn't open a can of tuna?

No. First I called Bugs.

Then I called my girlfriend,

And then I called Porky.

Then I called 9-1-1.

Sync and corrected by www.addic7ed.com

The Looney Tunes Show

Season 2, Episode 12 "Dear John"

"Dear Edmund, I'm leaving you."

[crying]

Ohh!

I don't get it.

What? Then why were you crying?

I always cry when I'm confused.

What didn't you get?

Well, why was he so upset?

Because of the Dear John letter.

John? [scoffs] ok, I thought his name was Edmund.

No, it's just called a Dear John letter...

...when someone ends the relationship with a note...

Instead of face to face.

Ohh, ok.

So this was a sad movie.

Hey, then why was I laughing so much during it?

I have no idea. Come on.

Oh, I can't go anywhere. Now that I know what's going on,

I want to see it again.

Can you believe they charged me...

...for coming out to the house?

[stuttering] it says you called 9-1-1

...four times in the past week.

And none of the emergencies were valid.

Oh, they were valid.

Will you hand me that towel?

Will you tell me a bedtime story?

Scarf, or no scarf?

Why do they get to decide if it's an emergency or not?

Daffy, our emergency services are under funded

And overextended as it is.

Our property taxes aren't high enough.

Why do you know so much about it?

Because I'm on the City Council.

What's the City Council?

The elected body that runs the city.

So you're like a big wig?

[chuckles] maybe to some people.

How long have you been on the City Council?

I'm about to finish my third term.

How did I never know this about you?

Because you never ask me anything about myself.

And when I try to tell you anything, you interrupt me.

And then on the few occasions where I actually do get to say something,

You literally fall asleep from boredom.

[snoring]

[beep]

[alarm sounding]

Hey, I'm meeting Tina for date night.

Uh, why is the microwave not working?

Oh. I tried to open a can of tuna with it.

I thought if I got it hot enough, the top would pop off.

Daffy, you can't put metal in the microwave.

Well, I know that now, ok?

The lesson's been learned, all right?

I'll never forget it.

Real quick--you can or cannot put metal in the microwave?

[telephone rings]

Pizzariba, this is Speedy.

Hey, Speedy, who is that handyman you use at the restaurant?

You mean John? Oh, he's the best.

You want me to call him for you?

That would be great. The microwave's broken.

No problem. I'll have him drop by tomorrow.

Just leave him a note. - Thanks, Speedy.

Hey, Bugs! I saw that movie again.

Oh, you were right, it was a Dear John letter.

Oh, so sad.

I hardly laughed at all this time.

Dear John, this isn't working. Bugs.

Oh, no!

A Dear John letter?

Bugs broke up with me!

[sobbing]

Why?!

I'm sorry, sir, we're completely booked this evening.

You didn't make a reservation?

Don't worry. I'll handle this.

Ahem. You do know that I'm a close,

Personal friend of Porky Pig?

Ah, that's City Council member Porky Pig.

Ooh.

Who knew there were perks to being friends with Porky Pig?

Good-bye, apartment.

I've decided to go away for a while.

Too many memories here.

Ew! Oh, no, no, uh-uh, no.

Uh-uh. Just because I'm leaving doesn't mean you...

...and all your little insect friends can come in here and crawl around.

Ok, you hear that, roaches?

I'm talking to you, too, spiders and ants.

All of you. You stay out of this apartment!

And in case you need a reminder,

I'm putting a note on the front door.

Uh, Daffy, have you been going all over town...

...saying you're friends with me?

Yes. And the results are incredible.

I used to be embarrassed to admit I even knew you.

But just this morning, I threw your name around...

...and I got a lifetime gym membership for free!

It wasn't for free.

You told the girl who worked there...

...that the city would have a parade in her honor.

So? You're on the City Council.

You told the Maitre'd at the Sunset Room

That I'd name a highway after him.

Well, it got me a really good table.

You told that traffic cop...

...that I could grant his uncle's citizenship!

What's wrong with that?

This is the greatest country on earth.

It's unethical! There's a reelection coming up,

...and this makes it look like I could be bribed!

I understand. It won't happen again.

Porky Pig voted not once,

...but twice to make our city dirtier.

He voted to eliminate garbage collection.

He voted three times to allow dumping in the river.

Why would a City Councilman do such a thing?

Because he's a pig. [pig squeals]

And pigs are filthy.

On election day, let's send this pig back to the farm.

Vote Daffy Duck for City Council.

I'm Daffy Duck, and I approve this message.

- What was that? - An attack ad.

But those are all lies!

It doesn't matter. Now people are going to have

Negative associations with you.

I can't believe you're running against me!

You're the one who said I can't use your name to get perks.

So, fine. I'll get 'em myself.

How could you do this?

First, you don't want me telling people you're my friend.

Now you don't want me telling people you're my enemy?

Porky, you're a real flip flopper.

Ooh. I'll put that in my next attack ad.

[maniacal laughter]

[coughing]

[men vocalizing]

I didn't know where else to go.

I can't stop thinking about that Dear John letter.

Oh, I just need some peace and quiet.

You'll find that here.

True healing occurs when one is clear of mind...

...and calm of spirit.

Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah, I totally agree with that.

Your path is meditation.

Mm-hmm. Ok.

And the key to meditation is silence.

- Say what now? - A vow of silence.

For the next year, you shall not speak.

You know, I bet I could achieve all that healing stuff without the silence.

What do you think?

I'm afraid the silence is necessary.

What I'm really quiet? Does that count?

[whispering] what about now? What if I'm this quiet?

No one will even know I'm talking.

Sorry, no. Not a word.

Well, what about sounds? Are they allowed?

Like, when I'm surprised. I'd go, whoa!

Or when I'm bored, I'd be like

deedaleelee, deedaleedeedee

- Silence. - Wow.

Ok.

[yelling incoherently]

Oh, that felt good. Sorry.

I just had to get that last one out of my system.

Newcomer Daffy Duck has won a seat...

...on the City Council,

...defeating the incumbent Porky Pig.

Once again, negative campaigns...

...proved their effectiveness.

Ohh! I won!

I won, I won, I won!

Let the perks begin!

Shh, shh.

[dialing]

Oh! I keep getting her voicemail.

I haven't heard from Lola in three days.

I'm going over there.

- Someone's going to need new business cards.

I bet I can get 'em for free.

"Dear Bugs,

I don't ever want to see you again!"

Lola broke up with me?

Hey.

Ooh, great.

Oh, yeah, that's nice. Good heighth on that.

The Royal Oaks-Glen Oaks-Oakwood Oaks City Council meeting is now in session.

We open up the floor to new business.

Yes, I have a complaint.

It's regarding the number on the curb.

The paint is--

- How long does these things usually go?

There's an "Off-Duty Cop" marathon on tonight

And I'd like to get home for it.

I can't record it because I broke the DVR

Trying to open a can of tuna.

- The meetings are scheduled for five hours,

But they sometimes run long.

- ...But then that paint faded as well.

So, I would like to talk about the kind of paint

That this city uses for addresses.

Because clearly...

Oh, come on!

Is this really happening?

What does she care if someone can read her address?

I've lived across the street from her for six years.

She hasn't had a single visitor.

[inhales and exhales]

Just remember why you're here.

The perks.

This will be worth it, because of the perks.

[continues indistinctly]

I like periwinkle,

But I think that would be a very bad choice.

So in conclusion, I propose a special committee

To discuss paint quality,

Paint color, and paint placement.

Thank you.

- Thank you. And that concludes the new business.

Finally.

And now onto old business.

Concerning the speed reduction on Maple Drive,

I believe the choice was between speed bumps

And speed humps. - [grunting]

- Is that right, Councilmember Bowls?

- Yes, Mr. Chairman. Speed bumps are conical,

While speed humps are ovoid.

Council-member Duck, what are your thoughts

On speed bumps versus speed humps?

My thoughts? You want my thoughts, huh?

My thoughts are that you people are all insane!

You let that old lady talk for three hours,

And she never said anything!

In the amount of time that that took,

I could have gone over there

And painted her address myself!

I could have painted the Sistine Chapel!

I don't know about you people,

But I have better things to do with my time

Than talk about whether something is conical or ovoid!

Ovoid!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have something

That I need to get back to,

And it's called a life.

Unbelievable.

Bunch of namby pambies.

Ronald Reagan was right.

Oh, hey, I'm supposed

To meet Porky at Pizzariba. You want to come?

- I don't ever want to see you again!

- There's nothing here for me anymore.

- So you don't want to come to Pizzariba?

No perk is worth sitting through that drivel!

I mean, is there really a difference between speed bumps and speed humps?

- Well, one is conical and one is ovoid, and--

How long do I have to be a City Council member?

A term is four years.

- Four years?! I can't do four years, man!

[cell phone rings] Ooh!

Someone just forwarded me a video.

- Is that the baby playing piano? Already saw it. Fake.

- Um...You might want to see this.

My toughts are that you people

Are all insane!

You let that old lady talk for three hours--

- You better hope no one sees this.

You could get thrown off the City Council.

- In the amount of time that that took,

I could have gone over there and painted her address myself!

I could have painted the Sistine Chapel!

This isn't good.

Or, is it great?

[maniacal laughter, coughs]

- Hey, man, I saw that video of you

At the City Council meeting.

- I know what you're going to say,

And I owe you and all of you,

My constituents, an apology.

But, obviously, apologies are not enough.

And you the voters will undoubtedly

Want to remove me from office,

Which I will accept.

Though with a heavy heart.

- Are you kidding me? What you did was great!

Say what?

- You are the opposite of a politician.

You can't hide what you are feeling. You just say it!

You're a breath of fresh air!

We're so lucky to have you on that City Council.

We need you there, forever and always!

Am I right?

[cheers and applause]

- Ok, so what kind of permits do I need

To put an addition on the kitchen?

It would extend it to the parking lot,

And I would require some digging. So I think we need

To talk about construction permits, as well.

[men vocalizing]

Lola, it has been a year.

Your vow of silence is fulfilled.

You should feel a deep and lasting peace.

You may now speak. What do you have to say?

I miss Bugs!

[maniacal laughter]

Hey, one more thing--

[yelling incoherently]

Hmm.

Now...Here?

I don't know where these speed bumps go!

[doorbell rings]

- What?! You people can't come to my home!

I'm not a City Councilman 24 hours a day.

Oh. Hey, Lola.

- Where's Bugs? I have to be with him

Whether he wants me or not.

I don't know where Bugs is.

He left a long time ago.

- What are you talking about? - He got your Dear John letter

And was completely devastated and said something about

Sailing to the end of the world.

- What?! How could Bugs have possibly thought this was for him?

Ohh. I'm coming for you, Bugs!

And this time I'm talking about the rabbit Bugs!

Meeting adjourned.

[indistinct chatter]

- That was another fun five hours.

What are you doing here?

- Just because I can't be on the City Council

Doesn't mean I can't come to the meetings.

- We really do have nothing in common.

- Did you hear about prop 14? - What's prop 14?

- They're calling it the Daffy Duck provision.

You're so popular,

The voters want to make your seat

On the City Council permanent.

- Then there's only one thing left to do.

- Embrace a life dedicated to public service?

No. Fake my own death.

- Tragedy struck today when popular City Councilman

Daffy Duck lost control of his vehicle

And plunged into the icy Sebastian river.

All that was recovered was his beloved parade float.

And the city never even got to throw him a parade.

Former Councilman Porky Pig

Has agreed to fulfill the remainder of his term.

This is Elmer J. Fudd reporting.

[turns off tv] - hey, Porky.

Want some gently used business cards?

I'll put a speed bump here

And the speed hump here.

Oh, no. Oh, maybe the speed hump goes there

And the speed bump goes here.

Bugs!

Bugs!

Bugs!

Lola?

Whoa-oh!

Ohh.

Wait. What are you doing here?

You broke up with me!

That note wasn't to you.

It was to spiders and ants and roaches.

Don't you see? I wrote "Dear Bugs",

But you thought I meant "Dear Bugs".

Bugs.

I need to be with you.

I don't care about the Dear John letter

You left me on the microwave.

Dear John letter?

You mean the repairman?

- Wait. Why'd you break up with the repairman?

- Mwah! - Mwah!

- Oh, Tosh? - Yes, Chum?

- Would you like to split this tangerine soda?

- Actually, I never have carbonation in the afternoon.

- I should have known that. Terribly sorry.

- No apology, Chum. Let me cut you a slice

Of this nice zucchini bread.

- Oh, no. I'm gluten intolerant.

- Oh, of course you are. I should have known that.

- Well, I shouldn't have thoughtlessly offered you that soda.

- What is happening to us?! - I don't know!

It's like we're...

- Not on the same page. - Out of synch.

we're drifting apart

our friendship is broken

- indubitably, we've made mistakes

how much is unspoken

inexorably

last week I wanted to watch

our favorite cooking show

but you left the room to watch women's tennis

that was really quite a blow

- when we were eating at the palace over thyme

I ordered you potato chips

but you said you wanted fries

well, I like french fries

- since when do you like french fries?!

we're driftin' apart

- the sweater I bought you doesn't match your skin tone

we're driftin' apart

- I made you captain of the class with your throw rug

- it's like we are two sides of a very tainted coin

without you I feel like B?arnaise sauce without the top sirloin

- I don't know why this friendship train has suddenly derailed

we used to be two snowflakes

now we're just two chunks of hail

- and as that hail hurtles toward earth

they drift further apart

they're like two frozen daggers

ripping through my broken heart

- those separate lonely chunks of hail

just falling to their doom

they hit the room with a sickening

and the friendship sonic boomed

[wind blowing]

- I'm sorry that I failed you

- oh, no, 'tis I that failed you

Well, I better go.

I have tickets to Michael Bubl?!

- What?! I have backstage passes!

- You don't say! - Shall we share a rickshaw?

- Ooh, splendid. I love rickshaws!

Oh, so do I!

[laughter]

we're not drifting apart

and we never shall again

no more driftin' apart

- we remain the best of friends

we're not drifting apart

- there will be no more strife

no more driftin' apart

best of egos alive

we're not driftin' apart

- I'm for you and you're for me

no more driftin' apart

it's a friendship victory

we're not driftin' apart

[cheers and applause]

He was a great american hero.

Sync and corrected by www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0