Original subtitles

- COME ON, WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR THE MOVIE.

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?

- I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,

BUT I'M GETTING A STUDENT DISCOUNT.

YOU'RE DRIVING? YOU ALWAYS DRIVE. LET ME DRIVE.

- I'M NOT GOING IN THAT THING.

- IT'S NOT A "THING", IT'S A PARADE FLOAT.

- IT'LL TAKE US 18 HOURS TO FIND A PARKING SPOT.

- YOU THINK YOU GET TO MAKE ALL THE DECISIONS?

WHAT ARE YOU, THE MAN IN THE RELATIONSHIP?

- WE'RE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP.

- WELL, GUESS WHAT? I'M A MAN, TOO.

AND TODAY, THIS MAN IS GOING TO DRIVE YOU TO THE MOVIES

AND BUY YOUR TICKET. SO YOU CAN JUST

LEAVE YOUR WALLET AND KEYS HERE,

BECAUSE THIS MAN IS WEARING THE PANTS TODAY.

OOPS, ALMOST FORGOT MY PURSE.

COME ON, YOU BIG LUG!

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. ANIMATION

- YOU'RE REALLY GOING TO BUY MY MOVIE TICKET?

- OF COURSE!

HERE, PUT THESE ON.

- IS THIS A DIAPER?!

- BABIES GET IN FREE. TCH.

- AAAH!

- DAFFY! THAT WAS A STOP SIGN.

[SIREN]

- RELAX. I HAVE A WAY WITH COPS.

OH, HELLO, OFFICER JERK FACE!

I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU AWAY FROM THE DONUT SHOP.

I GUESS YOU CAN'T CATCH REAL CRIMINALS,

SO INSTEAD YOU JUST HARASS INNOCENT CITIZENS.

WHAT A WASTE OF MY TAX DOLLARS!

- CAN I SEE YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE?

- JUST GIVE HIM YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE.

- WHAT'S A DRIVER'S LICENSE?

- YOU DON'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE?!

- SIR, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO OPERATE A VEHICLE WITHOUT A DRIVER'S LICENSE.

PLEASE STEP OUT OF THE CAR,

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO HAVE IT TOWED.

BUT I'M JUST AN INNOCENT SCHOOLGIRL

AND THIS IS MY BABY BROTHER.

PUT ON THE DIAPER!

- YOU CAN GET YOUR VEHICLE BACK

WHEN YOU GET A DRIVER'S LICENSE.

[ENGINE STARTS]

- YOU'RE GOING TO SCRATCH IT!

[GROANING]

AAAH!

- WHAT A MAN.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

- HEY, LOLA.

- HEY, BUGS! WHAT YOU DOIN'?

- STANDING ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.

- FUN. OH, MY GOSH.

YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE THIS.

THERE IS A GUY STANDING ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD

WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU. I'M ABOUT TO HIT HIM.

- [GASPS] [TIRES SQUEALING]

- YOU LOOK JUST LIKE MY BOYFRIEND!

I CAN'T BELIEVE DAFFY WAS DRIVING WITHOUT A DRIVER'S LICENSE.

THAT IS SO IRRESPONSIBLE. - [GASPS]

[TIRES SQUEALING]

- LOLA! [SIREN]

THAT WAS A RED LIGHT.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

- OOH, I CAN'T GO TO JAIL! I'M TOO PRETTY!

OH, I'LL--I'LL LIFT WEIGHTS. I'LL GET REALLY MUSCULAR.

[DEEP VOICE] MY VOICE WILL GET REALLY DEEP.

I'LL RUN THE PLACE.

HI, OFFICER.

- CAN I SEE YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE?

- [NORMAL VOICE] ABSOLUTELY. JUST ONE SECOND.

HOLD ON. LET ME SEE HERE.

OH, HERE WE GO. OH, NO, WAIT. THAT'S MY CREDIT CARD.

- [CLICKS PEN]

- HERE WE GO. OH, NOPE.

THAT'S A RECIPE FOR SALMON BALLS.

THEY'RE REALLY GOOD.

HERE IT IS. OH, NO, THAT'S MY FROZEN YOGURT FREQUENT MUNCHER CARD.

TWO MORE AND I GET A FREE WAFFLE CONE, OOH.

OH, HERE IT IS. IT WAS HIDING.

OH, NO, WAIT, THAT'S A PICTURE OF BUGS.

ISN'T HE CUTE?

HERE IT IS. WAIT, THAT'S A BASKETBALL CARD.

MANU GIN?BII.

I LOVEMANU GIN?BII.

OH, HERE IT IS. OOPS, FORTUNE COOKIE FORTUNE.

"YOU WILL RECEIVE AN UNEXPECTED LETTER FROM A FRIEND".

HOW DOES THE COOKIE KNOW THAT? THAT'S CRAZY.

I'M SORRY, WHAT DID YOU WANT?

- YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE.

- OH, YEAH, I DON'T HAVE ONE OF THOSE.

- THIS IS STUPID.

SORRY, I'VE JUST GOT TO TALK TO MY WIFE REAL QUICK.

PERSONAL MATTER.

DAFFY DUCK. GIVE ME A DRIVER'S LICENSE.

- WELL, YOU NEED TO TAKE A TEST.

- A TEST?! WHAT IS THIS, COMMUNIST RUSSIA?!

NEXT YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME I NEED TO TAKE A TEST TO BREATHE!

OR TO PRACTICE LAW?!

- YOU CAN TAKE THE TEST RIGHT OVER THERE.

- I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE TEST.

- THAT WAS THE APPLICATION TO TAKE THE TEST.

- WHAT?! THOSE QUESTIONS WERE IMPOSSIBLE.

ADDRESS, DATE OF BIRTH.

WHO HAS THAT STUFF MEMORIZED?

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO PUT FOR GENDER.

- HERE'S A STUDY GUIDE.

- I DON'T NEED YOUR PROPAGANDA!

WELL, MAYBE I'LL JUST SKIM IT.

- THANK GOODNESS YOU WERE HERE.

- THAT'S THE APPLICATION. YOU TAKE THE TEST OVER THERE.

WOULD YOU LIKE A STUDY GUIDE?

- YEAH, I THINK I'M GOOD.

- SHE'LL TAKE THE STUDY GUIDE.

- WHAT IS THE SPEED LIMIT IN A RESIDENTIAL AREA?

WHEN ARE ROADS THE MOST SLIPPERY?

WHO IS ALLOWED TO PARK IN A HANDICAPPED SPOT?

THIS IS EVEN HARDER THAN THE APPLICATION!

- NO TALKING.

- RONALD REGAN WAS RIGHT.

- HMM. MM-HMM. OK, INTERESTING.

OK, MAKES SENSE. OH, THAT'S A GOOD RULE.

YEP, GOT IT. OK, I'M READY TO TAKE THE TEST.

- YOU, UH, READ THAT AWFULLY FAST.

YOU SURE?

- UH, DOES A RED LIGHT MEAN GO?

- FAILED?! HOW DID I FAIL?

- WELL, YOU MARKED "C" FOR EVERY ANSWER.

- DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

I'M DAFFY DUCK!

D. DUCK!

WHAT DO YOU THINK THE "D" IN DMV STANDS FOR?

- IT STANDS FOR "DEPARTMENT".

- WELL, THAT'S MY MIDDLE NAME.

DAFFY DEPARTMENT DUCK.

- SIR, YOU CAN TAKE THE TEST AGAIN. YOU GET TWO CHANCES.

- GOOD TO SEE MY NAME STILL CARRIES A LITTLE WEIGHT AROUND HERE.

LOLA? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- OH, I DON'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE.

- HMPPHH, IRRESPONSIBLE.

- YOU CAN'T CROSS TWO DOUBLE YELLOW LINES? HUH.

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

[CELL PHONE RINGS] - HELLO?

- ARE YOU ALLOWED TO DRIVE IN A BIKE LANE?

- LOLA, YOU CAN'T CALL ME, YOU'RE TAKING A TEST.

- I'M NOT HELPING YOU CHEAT. [CELL PHONE RINGS]

I SAID I'M NOT HELPING YOU CHEAT!

- ARE YOU ALLOWED TO PARK IN A HANDICAPPED SPACE?

- DAFFY?

- YES OR NO!

- NO! OF COURSE YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO PARK IN A HANDICAPPED SPACE!

WHAT IS THIS, COMMUNIST RUSSIA?

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

- [STAMMERING] HELLO? - HEY, PORK.

- OH, HI, BUGS. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- OH, UH, JUST-- PICKING UP MY DRY CLEANING.

- [LAUGHS] WHY WOULD I WANT FRIES WITH MY DRY CLEANING?

YES, JUMBO FRIES. - COULD YOU GIVE ME A RIDE?

I'M STUCK AT THE DMV.

- SURE.

- JUST ONE THING--

YOU HAVE YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE, RIGHT?

- OF COURSE I DO. - GREAT.

- ARE YOU GOING TO WANT ANY KETCHUP WITH YOUR FRIES?

[BEEP]

- [SIGHS]

[DIALING]

[CELL PHONE RINGS] - HELLO?

- WHERE ARE YOU?

- OH, SORRY. THEY MESSED UP MY ORDER.

UH, I MEAN THE DRY CLEANING. OH, THERE YOU ARE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT THE DMV?

[SIREN]

[ENGINE IDLING]

- DRIVER'S LICENSE.

- WHAT'D I DO?

I'VE NEVER BEEN PULLED OVER FOR ANYTHING!

I FOLLOW THE RULES OF THE ROAD.

SAFETY FIRST.

- YOU CAN'T TALK ON A CELL PHONE WHILE DRIVING

WITHOUT A HAND'S-FREE DEVICE.

- SINCE WHEN? - JULY FIRST.

- AHH! I VOTED FOR THAT.

- ALSO, I'M GOING TO NEED YOU TO STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE.

- WHY? - YOUR LICENSE IS EXPIRED.

AAAH!

- OH, I KNOW THAT ONE.

OH, THAT'S AN EASY ONE.

WHO WOULDN'T KNOW THAT ONE?

AND...DONE.

OOH!

UH, DAFFY?

- OH, HEY, PORKY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- MY DRIVER'S LICENSE EXPIRED.

- SO IRRESPONSIBLE.

I THINK YOU'LL REALLY ENJOY GRADING THIS.

- YOU PASSED. YOU--YOU GOT A PERFECT SCORE.

- THAT'S BECAUSE I'M PASSIONATE ABOUT THE MATERIAL.

- THAT WAS THE WRITTEN TEST. YOU STILL NEED TO PASS THE DRIVER'S TEST.

HOW AM I GOING TO CHEAT ON A DRIVER'S TEST?

- I'M SORRY, YOU FAILED.

- WHAT?! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

I READ THE RULES OF THE ROAD BEFORE BED.

- YOU GET TO TAKE IT ONE MORE TIME.

MAYBE THIS TIME, DON'T ANSWER "B" FOR EVERY QUESTION.

- [GROANS]

[DIALING]

[LINE RINGING]

- BUENO. THIS IS SPEEDY.

- HEY, SPEEDY, IT'S BUGS.

LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

DO YOU HAVE A VALID DRIVER'S LICENSE?

- NEXT!

- I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WORKED HERE.

- EH, DOUBLE DIP RECESSION.

GOTTA GET THEM MULTIPLE REVENUE SCREAMS.

- YOU KNOW, WE COULD PROBABLY MAKE THIS A LOT EASIER

ON BOTH OF US IF YOU JUST WANTED TO PASS ME RIGHT NOW,

YOU KNOW, SEEING THAT WE'RE NEIGHBORS AND ALL.

- SON, YOU'RE BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE.

I TAKE MY JOB VERY SERIOUSLY.

AND I GOTTA WARN YA-- I'M A REAL STICKLER.

IF YOU MAKE ONE, JUST ONE,

ITSY BITSY MISTAKE,

YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL.

[CACKLING]

OOH.

YOU DON'T HAPPEN TO HAVE A PHONE BOOK I COULD SIT ON, DO YOU?

- THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT.

THESE ARE ALL RIGHT. I HAVE TO PASS.

- LOLA?! - OH, HI, PORKY.

- [SIGHS] MY DRIVER'S LICENSE EXPIRED.

- MM-MMM. YOU AND DAFFY.

SO IRRESPONSIBLE.

HI, SORRY THAT TOOK SO LONG. I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS.

I'M NOT A REALLY GOOD TEST TAKER.

I'M MORE OF A TEST GIVER. OR A TEST WATCHER.

OR A TASTE TESTER.

- YOU PASSED. PERFECT SCORE.

- OH, MY GOSH, I DID?! I'M A REALLY GOOD TEST TAKER.

- YOU FAILED AGAIN.

- WHAT?! WHAT'S HAPPENING?

- I'M SORRY, SIR. YOU ONLY GET TWO CHANCES.

- DID I AT LEAST COME CLOSE?

- TURN LEFT AT THE NEXT INTERSECTION.

[HORNS HONKING, TIRES SQUEALING]

- HOW'D THAT GO?

- GREAT.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

[HORN HONKING]

[ENGINE REVS]

- HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET IN THAT?

- GET IN IT? ALL YOU ASKED WAS IF I HAD A VALID DRIVER'S LICENSE

AND TO MEET YOU AT THE DMV. YOU WANTED A RIDE?

I'M NOT A TAXI DRIVER, MAN.

I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A LUNCH RUSH!

[TIRES SQUEALING]

AYY!

[TIRES SQUEALING]

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

AYY. GRINGOS.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

- SO ARE WE PARALLEL PARKED?

- MM-HMM.

THIS DRIVER'S TEST IS GRADED

ON A SCALE OF ONE TO A HUNDRED.

AND CONSIDERING THE TYPE OF DRIVING YOU JUST DID,

WHAT GRADE WOULD YOU GIVE YOURSELF?

- HUNDRED.

- I GET THAT ONE A LOT.

OHH, THIS IS EMBARRASSING.

NEXT! - HI!

- COOL YOUR JETS, BLONDIE.

I'M A REAL STICKLER.

[CLICKS SEATBELT]

[CLICKS SEATBELT]

- YOU LOOK FAMILIAR.

"YOSE-MITE".

- IT'S YOSEMITE.

- OH, LIKE THE NATIONAL PARK!

YOU KNOW, I WAS NAMED AFTER A NATIONAL PARK.

OH, NO, WAIT. SORRY.

I WASN'T NAMED AFTER A NATIONAL PARK.

OH, NO, WAIT, MY GRANDMOTHER'S NAME IS BETTY, NOT LOLA.

WAIT, THERE'S A NATIONAL PARK NAMED BETTY?

- CAN YOU JUST TAKE A RIGHT?

- A RIGHT?! [SCOFFS] YOSE-MITE,

I JUST GOT A PERFECT SCORE ON MY WRITTEN TEST.

I THINK I CAN DO A LITTLE MORE THAN TAKE A RIGHT.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

[HORN HONKING] [ALL SCREAMING]

- HUH?!

[BIRDS SQUAWKING]

[TRAIN HORN HONKING]

[BOAT HORN HONKS]

[TIRES SQUEALING]

[SIREN]

- DID I PASS?

HELLO?!

YEAH, I PASSED.

OH, NOW I KNOW WHY YOU LOOK FAMILIAR.

YOU'RE BUGS' NEIGHBOR! HE TOLD ME SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.

HE'S NOT A FAN.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY NAMED A NATIONAL PARK AFTER THAT GUY.

- [GROANS]

[VEHICLE APPROACHING]

- I'M NOT GOING TO KILL YOU.

YOU GET YOUR LICENSE?

- I FAILED. TWICE!

- SO YOU'LL TAKE THE TEST AGAIN NEXT WEEK.

- NO WAY. I'M DONE DRIVING.

THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO DESERVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE

ARE RESPONSIBLE, LAW-ABIDING CITIZENS

WHO KNOW THE RULES OF THE ROAD.

- OWW!

LICENSED DRIVER, COMIN' THROUGH!

WHOO! OUT OF MY WAY!

LICENSED DRIVER, 100%!

- WELL, THERE'S AN EXCEPTION TO EVERY RULE.

- I'VE GOT MY DRIVER'S LICENSE!

- MAYBE TWO EXCEPTIONS. - LOOK, BUN BUN!

I'M AN ORGAN DONOR. ARE YOU AN ORGAN DONOR?

YOU WANT TO GIVE EACH OTHER OUR ORGANS?

- WELL, WE CAN DECIDE LATER. ARE YOU READY TO GO?

BE MY FIRST PASSENGER AS A LICENSED DRIVER!

- THANKS, BUT I HAVE TO DRIVE PORKY HOME. HE DIDN'T PASS.

- OH, STAY STRONG. YOU'LL GET THROUGH THIS.

I KNOW, I'VE BEEN THERE. BUT I'M NOT THERE ANYMORE.

WHOO-HOO! DRIVER'S LICENSE!

- HOW DO YOU GET OUT OF THIS PLACE?

HERE WE GO!

- BUGS!

[SIREN] - WHAT DID I DO?!

- YOU CAN'T CROSS TWO DOUBLE YELLOW LINES.

- OHH! I JUST READ THAT!

[SIREN]

- HELLO AGAIN.

- DRIVER'S LICENSE.

- SURE THING.

- LEAVE YOUR WALLET AT HOME.

- [SCOFFS]

I LEFT MY WALLET AT HOME.

[PEN CLICKS]

[ENGINE STARTS]

- EHH, I'M JUST GOING TO WALK.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

- BEEP BEEP!

[TIRES SQUEALING]

- BEEP BEEP!

[BEEPING]

[BEEP]

[SIZZLING, BELL RINGING]

[BEEPING]

[BEEPING, BELL RINGING]

[BEEPING]

[CRASH]

[SIREN]

[SIREN, HONK]

[SIREN, HONK]

- BEEP BEEP!

- ONE TICKET. I'M A STUDENT.

- SIR, PLEASE.

- GOO GOO, GA GA.

I'M A BABY AND I WANT TO SEE A MOVIE FOR FREE.

GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH?!

I'M A LICENSED DRIVER!

I HAVE A LICENSE!

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. ANIMATION

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

- WELL, THAT'S ALL, FOLKS.

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