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[MUSIC PLAYING]
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♪ The city looks pretty ♪
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♪ When you've been indoors ♪
4
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♪ For 23 days I've ignored
all your phone calls ♪
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♪ And everyone's waiting
when you get back home ♪
6
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♪ They don't know where you've
been, why you're gone so long ♪
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[TURNS OFF ENGINE]
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[EXHALES]
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_
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♪ Nah nah, nah nah,
nah-nah-nah nah-nah-nah ♪
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♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh, whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
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00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:55,230
♪ Nah nah, nah nah,
nah-nah-nah nah-nah-nah ♪
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♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh, whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
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♪ Called me up in the early mornin'... ♪
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Hello. I'm here for the
weekday lunch buffet.
16
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Yeah, seven bucks. You can eat
anywhere except the lap dance area.
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Health codes are very strict.
18
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Why is that? Just to make sure
that no ass gets in the food?
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- [LAUGHS]
- Are you from the Health Department?
20
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- No, no.
- 'Cause if you are,
21
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you have to say. Otherwise
it's entrapment.
22
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No. No, no. No, I swear I'm not.
23
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I'm actually, um, I'm a journalist.
24
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Yeah, I'm here to write
a review of the buffet
25
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for the paper that I work for.
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- Cool.
- Yeah, it is kinda cool, right?
27
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[CHUCKLES] We're both here
workin', doin' our jobs.
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[CHUCKLES]
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[MUSIC CONTINUES]
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Hmm.
31
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Oh...
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Oh, it's OK, you don't have to do that.
33
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I'm mostly here for the shrimp, so...
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DANCER: We literally do.
35
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If there's a customer
here, we have to dance.
36
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- There's a sign in the break room.
- Oh. OK.
37
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Um... Oh, my God.
38
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Wow.
39
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Mm. Um...
40
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do you guys make this,
or... is there a chef?
41
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It's Chinese delivery.
42
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Oh. Really? 'Cause it's so fresh.
43
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There's a Chinese restaurant
across the street.
44
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Hmm. OK.
45
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Cool. [CHUCKLES]
46
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So what do you want?
47
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Oh. Well, I was thinking I've
never worn a thong before,
48
00:02:32,764 --> 00:02:36,430
and I... I don't know, I just feel
like it would drive me insane,
49
00:02:36,437 --> 00:02:40,860
and, like, I would be worried that
I was gonna get... my poop on it.
50
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ALL: [LAUGH]
51
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You don't wear a thong unless
you have a waxed asshole.
52
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Yeah, if you have a waxed asshole,
then you can't get poop on it.
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OK, that's... Of course.
That makes total sense.
54
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I'm starting to feel like
I don't know anything
55
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about my own asshole. [CHUCKLES]
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Put it like this.
57
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- You have a cup of pudding, OK...
- Mm-hmm.
58
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... and you dump it on a
smooth, nice countertop.
59
00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:02,530
- And then you wipe it up.
- Yeah.
60
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And then you dump that pudding on grass.
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What do you got?
62
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- A mess.
- ALL: [LAUGH]
63
00:03:09,546 --> 00:03:12,880
Wow. That's... OK, these
are new ideas for me,
64
00:03:12,886 --> 00:03:14,630
but they make sense.
65
00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:18,100
Could I also ask you, like,
does it ever feel weird
66
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to be in your underwear and
then have men come in here
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and tell you what to do?
68
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Men do not tell me what to do.
69
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I've got a fat ass and big titties.
I tell them what to do.
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I never thought about it that way.
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00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:31,869
Yeah, I know some people are gonna say,
72
00:03:31,870 --> 00:03:33,250
you know, "She's just a stripper."
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But I'm good at it, and I make
money, and I make my own rules.
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- So...
- Yeah.
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That... that's so great. I-I love that.
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- I could never pull that off.
- Yes you could, bitch.
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You've got a fat ass and big titties.
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You should be telling men what to do.
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Thank you!
80
00:03:52,548 --> 00:03:54,760
That was so nice. [LAUGHS]
81
00:03:54,761 --> 00:03:58,489
This is really fun. Um... Hmm!
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When you come down, this is for you.
83
00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:05,440
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
84
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Fran, have you ever waxed your asshole?
85
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Surprise! Happy first article!
86
00:04:11,794 --> 00:04:15,170
Oh, this is so, so nice!
87
00:04:15,176 --> 00:04:17,548
Are we having a little two-person party?
88
00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:20,010
No, you're just early. There's
gonna be other people here,
89
00:04:20,019 --> 00:04:22,389
and we're gonna get
fucked up in your honor.
90
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Oh, my gosh. Well, I only rushed home
91
00:04:25,770 --> 00:04:27,319
'cause I was gonna write my article,
92
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:31,620
but I guess I'll write it
after we have a party...
93
00:04:31,626 --> 00:04:33,590
BOTH: [LAUGHING]
94
00:04:35,050 --> 00:04:38,010
ANNIE: My God. There's
someone at the door.
95
00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:40,730
And they're just standing there.
96
00:04:42,523 --> 00:04:45,440
- Who is it?
- FRAN: Why aren't they knocking?
97
00:04:45,445 --> 00:04:47,410
What should we do?
98
00:04:48,994 --> 00:04:50,540
Should I get it?
99
00:04:57,756 --> 00:05:00,300
- Oh, it's Ryan...
- Oh, God!!!
100
00:05:00,308 --> 00:05:04,011
- ALL: [SHRIEKING]
- Oh, God, why?!
101
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,972
God... God, are you OK?
102
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,080
[GASPING] Where are you?
103
00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:10,829
RYAN: Ahh!
104
00:05:10,830 --> 00:05:13,271
I could bring you to small
claims court for this.
105
00:05:13,272 --> 00:05:16,380
Small claims court costs
$30. Do you have $30?
106
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:18,651
Of course! What do I look like?
107
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Norm-core Ted Kaczynski.
108
00:05:21,390 --> 00:05:22,899
ANNIE: It's still burning?
109
00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:25,020
RYAN: [GRUNTS]
110
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Well, I'm sorry, but I also
don't know why you're here.
111
00:05:28,940 --> 00:05:31,830
I wanted to talk to you, Annie.
112
00:05:32,455 --> 00:05:34,410
Yeah, bye.
113
00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:37,420
Apology accepted for
pepper-spraying me in the face.
114
00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:39,560
I don't apologize to white people.
115
00:05:41,223 --> 00:05:42,717
RYAN: [SIGHS]
116
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- [SNIFFLES]
- I really don't know
117
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:47,230
what there is to talk about.
118
00:05:47,235 --> 00:05:49,307
Honestly. What?
119
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:52,870
I was trying to figure out what I
was gonna say out on the porch.
120
00:05:52,872 --> 00:05:55,500
Um...
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00:05:55,502 --> 00:05:58,340
when you left my place,
122
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that really freaked me out.
123
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:04,140
OK. Freaked out how?
Like sad, scared, what?
124
00:06:04,144 --> 00:06:08,980
Not scared, not sad, not not sad...
125
00:06:08,987 --> 00:06:10,690
I don't know, it's like I guess...
126
00:06:10,699 --> 00:06:12,748
I don't know what you're trying to say.
127
00:06:13,496 --> 00:06:15,459
I like you.
128
00:06:16,711 --> 00:06:18,460
OK.
129
00:06:18,464 --> 00:06:20,510
You like me.
130
00:06:20,511 --> 00:06:23,510
I like you, too. I always have.
131
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:28,638
But I didn't feel like I could tell
you this huge thing in my life.
132
00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:30,598
The abortion thing.
133
00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:32,280
Yes.
134
00:06:32,284 --> 00:06:35,740
And that's... that's so bad.
135
00:06:35,749 --> 00:06:38,564
And if that's how it is, then
we should not be together.
136
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,050
OK, but...
137
00:06:41,051 --> 00:06:43,380
you can't just be gone.
138
00:06:43,389 --> 00:06:46,520
I didn't realize I was
gonna feel this bad.
139
00:06:47,272 --> 00:06:49,560
I need you with me.
140
00:06:49,569 --> 00:06:54,780
Like... like one of those dogs
with those guys in sunglasses.
141
00:06:54,787 --> 00:06:57,790
What, like a blind person
and a seeing-eye dog?
142
00:06:57,793 --> 00:07:01,000
No, like... I don't know.
I'm not good with words.
143
00:07:01,008 --> 00:07:02,798
Just tell me what you want.
144
00:07:03,889 --> 00:07:07,220
OK, but you're saying all
the right stuff now,
145
00:07:07,228 --> 00:07:10,690
even if it is in your like, garbled way,
146
00:07:10,694 --> 00:07:12,849
but you have to actually do it.
147
00:07:16,660 --> 00:07:18,200
Let's go out on a date.
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00:07:18,794 --> 00:07:21,300
Like... out?
149
00:07:22,383 --> 00:07:24,152
Like an "out" date?
150
00:07:25,181 --> 00:07:26,738
Yeah.
151
00:07:29,147 --> 00:07:30,610
OK.
152
00:07:32,070 --> 00:07:33,412
I'll do that.
153
00:07:34,157 --> 00:07:35,700
Good.
154
00:07:37,330 --> 00:07:39,330
RYAN: Mm. Mm...
155
00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:40,499
- ANNIE: What?
- RYAN: What...
156
00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:41,699
ANNIE: It's... you're burn...
157
00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:44,220
- it's burning me. It's burning me.
- RYAN: Oh, fuck! I'm sorry.
158
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- [TURNS UP STEREO]
- ♪ I want it ♪
159
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♪ I own it ♪
160
00:07:58,455 --> 00:08:00,271
♪ I want it ♪
161
00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:02,290
♪ I'll start it ♪
162
00:08:02,297 --> 00:08:04,340
♪ I want it ♪
163
00:08:04,342 --> 00:08:06,300
♪ I own it ♪
164
00:08:06,305 --> 00:08:08,180
♪ I want it ♪
165
00:08:08,184 --> 00:08:10,100
♪ I got it ♪
166
00:08:10,104 --> 00:08:11,980
♪ I want it ♪
167
00:08:11,983 --> 00:08:13,980
♪ I own it ♪
168
00:08:13,987 --> 00:08:15,900
♪ I want it ♪
169
00:08:15,908 --> 00:08:17,780
♪ I'll start it ♪
170
00:08:17,786 --> 00:08:19,170
♪ I want it ♪
171
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[TYPING]
172
00:08:25,510 --> 00:08:27,890
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]
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00:08:31,270 --> 00:08:32,940
[SLURRED] We should cut your bangs.
174
00:08:33,652 --> 00:08:38,030
OK. Fran, you say this every
time you get super-drunk,
175
00:08:38,035 --> 00:08:40,978
and the one time we did it,
we both cried in the morning.
176
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:43,050
You're so wise.
177
00:08:43,713 --> 00:08:45,680
And pretty.
178
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:47,560
And wise.
179
00:08:48,347 --> 00:08:49,970
And your hair...
180
00:08:49,976 --> 00:08:52,100
BOTH: [LAUGHING]
181
00:08:52,105 --> 00:08:56,120
Sarah's been begging me
to give her a long bob.
182
00:08:56,698 --> 00:08:58,320
- SARAH: [MUTTERS]
- Bitch!
183
00:08:58,325 --> 00:09:00,280
- SARAH: What?
- Bitch, are you...
184
00:09:00,288 --> 00:09:02,450
are you ready for this lob?
185
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:04,420
Yeah!
186
00:09:04,421 --> 00:09:06,588
Get your knife. Let's do it.
187
00:09:07,302 --> 00:09:09,173
I'm gonna get my scissors,
188
00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:11,842
and I'm gonna cut your hair off, bitch.
189
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,270
SARAH: Yeeees.
190
00:09:13,272 --> 00:09:15,472
That's fun.
191
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:20,990
- This is sweet.
- Really?
192
00:09:20,996 --> 00:09:24,460
Yeah. I'm sure Gabe wanted you to
be like, "Orange chicken and tits,"
193
00:09:24,461 --> 00:09:27,090
but then you gave us some
"Humans are humans."
194
00:09:27,091 --> 00:09:29,710
Yeah, I just, I don't know, I
didn't want to make fun of them.
195
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:31,100
GABE: Annie, I'm confused.
196
00:09:31,110 --> 00:09:32,930
Literally what is going on?
197
00:09:32,936 --> 00:09:34,819
- Uh, OK...
- I'm confused
198
00:09:34,820 --> 00:09:38,360
about where my restaurant
review is in this behemoth.
199
00:09:38,364 --> 00:09:41,659
Well, I know it's not
exactly the assignment...
200
00:09:41,660 --> 00:09:42,980
- No, it's not.
- ... but I thought you would want me
201
00:09:42,990 --> 00:09:44,667
to follow my instincts.
202
00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:47,000
And also, you know, I
didn't want to trash it.
203
00:09:47,006 --> 00:09:48,796
Like, the shrimp was very good.
204
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,510
You don't mention the shrimp.
205
00:09:50,514 --> 00:09:54,430
You got 2,000 words here about
your feelings about... pudding?
206
00:09:54,437 --> 00:09:56,762
And someone named
Jade's triple C-section.
207
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,610
Well, she almost died, and...
208
00:09:58,613 --> 00:10:01,609
and now she uses her scar as
sort of her calling card.
209
00:10:01,610 --> 00:10:02,799
She makes more money. It's...
210
00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:05,010
I love the whole female
empowerment shit,
211
00:10:05,020 --> 00:10:06,680
I kind of invented it in the '90s,
212
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:08,539
I was the original bass
player in Bikini Kill...
213
00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:09,900
ANNIE: But you always say
214
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:13,469
to find the truth in every story,
and I think that that's what I did.
215
00:10:13,470 --> 00:10:15,040
OK, but this is not your journal.
216
00:10:15,060 --> 00:10:16,980
I'm gonna have to cut this way down.
217
00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:19,230
- Really?
- It's all going.
218
00:10:19,237 --> 00:10:21,490
I-I think it's really good,
and it's under the word limit.
219
00:10:21,491 --> 00:10:23,030
Annie, I gave you an assignment.
220
00:10:23,036 --> 00:10:25,417
I asked for a lap dance,
you give me Twyla Tharp.
221
00:10:26,586 --> 00:10:28,129
- OK.
- Not OK.
222
00:10:28,130 --> 00:10:29,295
I get it. OK.
223
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,469
It's not OK, and I get to say OK
224
00:10:31,470 --> 00:10:34,020
in the end of the conversation.
225
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,270
- Don't.
- OK.
226
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:42,016
God. That fucking sucks. I
worked so hard on that.
227
00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:45,394
Yeah, but listen, he
cuts because he cares.
228
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,980
All right? If he didn't like you,
229
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,839
he wouldn't even look
at you, or talk to you.
230
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:52,130
Well, he didn't look at me or talk to me
231
00:10:52,136 --> 00:10:54,050
for my first two years here, so...
232
00:10:54,057 --> 00:10:56,990
I know, but look where we're at now,
all right? This is progress, OK?
233
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,560
- ANNIE: [LAUGHING]
- Comin' up.
234
00:10:58,566 --> 00:11:00,109
BOTH: Ooh!
235
00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:02,570
- [LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
- Ew, God.
236
00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:04,200
You two are so horny.
237
00:11:04,202 --> 00:11:06,541
Either 69, or get outta my face.
238
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,333
- What?
- RUTHIE: I'm serious.
239
00:11:09,334 --> 00:11:11,040
Do you know what 69-ing is?
240
00:11:11,634 --> 00:11:13,965
- Yes. Yes.
- Heard of it.
241
00:11:14,849 --> 00:11:17,802
It's when... two people...
242
00:11:19,023 --> 00:11:22,139
sort of become the numbers,
like a six and a nine,
243
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:26,580
both people be goin' for the
privates at the same time,
244
00:11:26,581 --> 00:11:29,396
in, like, a stack or a side...
245
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:31,590
I'm not... I'm not doing this.
246
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:35,010
- It's a double-suck.
- Yes! We know.
247
00:11:35,014 --> 00:11:37,150
Best done standing up.
248
00:11:37,936 --> 00:11:41,810
- ANNIE: This is nice, Mom.
- VERA: It's so peaceful and quiet.
249
00:11:41,819 --> 00:11:45,199
You know they found a meth
hut over there in the woods
250
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,820
- a few years ago?
- [SNORTS] Really?
251
00:11:46,829 --> 00:11:49,499
Yeah! It's OK, now, they cleaned it out,
252
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,377
they turned it into
an information booth.
253
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:54,840
- Meth information though, right?
- No, it's about the park.
254
00:11:54,845 --> 00:11:57,300
- [PHONE BEEPS]
- Oh! I have to remind your father
255
00:11:57,308 --> 00:11:58,810
to do his prednisone.
256
00:11:58,811 --> 00:12:00,520
Let me just text.
257
00:12:00,523 --> 00:12:03,980
OK, but he has that alert
on his phone, though.
258
00:12:03,988 --> 00:12:05,933
Yeah, but I just need to double-check.
259
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:08,620
OK, but he's probably
got it under control.
260
00:12:08,623 --> 00:12:10,870
Well, then I'd worry that he
didn't have it under control,
261
00:12:10,877 --> 00:12:13,250
so it's just easier...
it's for me anyway.
262
00:12:13,256 --> 00:12:15,300
- It's just for me.
- OK.
263
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:18,050
OK, but you know what makes me happy,
264
00:12:18,058 --> 00:12:20,890
- is that we're out here exercising.
- Yeah.
265
00:12:20,897 --> 00:12:24,480
You always feel better when
you exercise. I can tell.
266
00:12:24,487 --> 00:12:28,420
It's easy, Annie, just put it on
the calendar and just stick to it.
267
00:12:29,247 --> 00:12:31,830
All right. Why are you
saying that to me?
268
00:12:31,836 --> 00:12:33,585
You know, we were having
such a nice time,
269
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,297
and then you just toss off a
little comment like that?
270
00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,430
How does that make me feel?
271
00:12:38,432 --> 00:12:40,427
OK. You said it, and I hear you.
272
00:12:41,814 --> 00:12:43,360
Good.
273
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,557
[SLOW MUSIC PLAYING
SOFTLY IN BACKGROUND]
274
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:49,119
RYAN: Your eyes match your dress.
275
00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:52,459
ANNIE: [LAUGHS] Well, the
meatballs match your eyes.
276
00:12:52,460 --> 00:12:54,023
You look really clean.
277
00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:56,550
And you, you're not clean?
278
00:12:56,552 --> 00:12:58,470
- No.
- ANNIE: But...
279
00:12:58,472 --> 00:12:59,820
you look very, very good.
280
00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:02,350
- Thank you.
- ANNIE: [GIGGLES]
281
00:13:02,354 --> 00:13:04,480
OK, why don't you tell me
282
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:07,070
the two best things that
happened to you this week.
283
00:13:07,073 --> 00:13:09,950
RYAN: OK. Um...
284
00:13:09,953 --> 00:13:12,950
well, I guess one would have to be this.
285
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,250
- Really?
- RYAN: Yeah.
286
00:13:15,255 --> 00:13:17,050
- [LAUGHS]
- RYAN: For sure.
287
00:13:17,051 --> 00:13:20,430
- That's a good answer.
- And the second one, um...
288
00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:23,560
like, me and Mike took our Nana
289
00:13:23,564 --> 00:13:27,681
to see this... Frank
Sinatra impersonator.
290
00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:30,159
- What? [CHUCKLES]
- RYAN: Yeah.
291
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:32,603
And this is number one?
I can't believe that.
292
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:35,239
What about you? What
are your two things?
293
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:39,610
Gosh, well, I feel like I
have to make one this, right?
294
00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:42,781
- Yeah. Thank... thank God.
- ANNIE: [CHUCKLES]
295
00:13:43,395 --> 00:13:48,360
And my second one, I guess,
well, I got to write an article
296
00:13:48,363 --> 00:13:50,320
for The Thorn this week
about a strip club.
297
00:13:50,325 --> 00:13:52,830
That's... amazing.
298
00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:54,620
In a strip club?
299
00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:56,750
I would have loved to go with you.
300
00:13:56,755 --> 00:13:59,171
ANNIE: I know. I know you would
have loved to to have gone.
301
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:02,260
It was just very cool for me
to like, get the assignment,
302
00:14:02,266 --> 00:14:05,689
'cause I... I don't know, they
probably won't even publish it,
303
00:14:05,690 --> 00:14:07,971
but it still was cool.
304
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:10,057
And like, I really liked what I wrote.
305
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:12,529
Like, I was proud of it?
306
00:14:12,530 --> 00:14:16,599
Which I know is corny. But...
307
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,250
That's not corny.
308
00:14:18,256 --> 00:14:20,340
- That's really good, Annie.
- MIKE: What's up, stinkos?
309
00:14:20,344 --> 00:14:22,299
- RYAN: [LAUGHS]
- ANNIE: Oh...
310
00:14:22,300 --> 00:14:24,159
- What's up, dude?
- RYAN: What's up, brah.
311
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:25,770
- You guys made it.
- Wow.
312
00:14:25,772 --> 00:14:27,230
- Thanks, man.
- Hey, yes.
313
00:14:27,232 --> 00:14:30,160
- You guys remember Annie, right?
- Thank you. Ow!
314
00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:32,470
- Sorry.
- Are you guys eating here too,
315
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,340
- or are you...
- Yeah, right?
316
00:14:34,350 --> 00:14:36,750
Oh, may I? I love these little breads.
317
00:14:36,752 --> 00:14:39,002
Just takin' three. Is that
cool? Can I take three?
318
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:41,672
- Yes. Yeah.
- RYAN: Right here. Come on.
319
00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:43,257
- Ahh.
- Wow.
320
00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:44,759
MIKE: Smells good.
321
00:14:45,728 --> 00:14:47,770
- This is nice.
- The gang's together, huh?
322
00:14:47,774 --> 00:14:49,597
- Let's do it.
- Love this.
323
00:14:50,571 --> 00:14:54,030
- Ahh.
- MIKE: I'm telling you that the name
324
00:14:54,036 --> 00:14:56,679
is literally capping
us on what we can do.
325
00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:57,879
- No.
- Why aren't you listening to us?
326
00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,170
I'm listening to you, I'm just
not agreeing with you, OK?
327
00:15:00,173 --> 00:15:03,220
- Why?
- The name is "Talkin' 'Traz,"
328
00:15:03,221 --> 00:15:04,821
which is about Alcatraz, which is...
329
00:15:04,822 --> 00:15:06,340
- I know that that's...
- RYAN: OK?
330
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,060
That means it's about Alcatraz.
331
00:15:08,064 --> 00:15:10,690
You guys can't just get
together and change the name
332
00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:12,030
without talking to me.
333
00:15:12,031 --> 00:15:13,240
- It doesn't make any sense.
- OK.
334
00:15:13,241 --> 00:15:16,120
We can keep it. We don't
have to get heated, right?
335
00:15:16,122 --> 00:15:17,200
MIKE: Go ahead. What were you gonna say?
336
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:19,170
Well, the two of us decided
we're gonna branch out,
337
00:15:19,180 --> 00:15:20,740
so technically we have a majority.
338
00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:23,550
Exactly. Plus, there are
other cool prisons.
339
00:15:23,554 --> 00:15:25,549
- Really? Name one.
- Ja.
340
00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:28,051
- The Rock.
- That's Alcatraz.
341
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:30,520
That's what we do the
podcast about, idiot!
342
00:15:30,526 --> 00:15:32,430
- MIKE: Don't call me an idiot.
- RYAN: Don't point at me!
343
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:33,899
MIKE: Fuck you. I'll
point at you all night.
344
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:36,226
- I'm gonna break your fucking finger off.
- MIKE: Let go of my finger!
345
00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:37,830
What are you gonna do?
I got two fingers.
346
00:15:37,832 --> 00:15:38,910
- RYAN: I'm gonna break that one.
- OK. Whoa.
347
00:15:38,918 --> 00:15:40,022
- MIKE: What are you gonna do?
- RYAN: Do not touch me!
348
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:43,150
[ALL YELLING]
349
00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:44,670
- You guys suck!
- There you go.
350
00:15:44,679 --> 00:15:47,180
Here, have a menu. Read up
on being a fuckin' asshole,
351
00:15:47,184 --> 00:15:49,939
which is what you are. Fuck
you, Ryan! Fuckin' moron!
352
00:15:49,940 --> 00:15:51,810
- RYAN: Oh, go fuck yourself.
- Fuckin' loser.
353
00:15:51,819 --> 00:15:53,900
MIKE: You have a tiny dick!
♪ Tiny dick Ryan ♪
354
00:15:53,906 --> 00:15:56,414
She's seen it and knows that's not true!
355
00:15:58,289 --> 00:16:00,084
[CHATTER]
356
00:16:02,131 --> 00:16:03,640
[SIGHS]
357
00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:08,640
Sorry about that.
358
00:16:08,644 --> 00:16:10,730
I just, uh...
359
00:16:12,810 --> 00:16:13,920
Brother stuff.
360
00:16:15,073 --> 00:16:16,767
Hey, um...
361
00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:19,854
you're still coming home with me, right?
362
00:16:21,879 --> 00:16:23,273
Um...
363
00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:25,401
Please?
364
00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:38,200
[RATTLING DOORKNOB]
365
00:16:38,203 --> 00:16:39,665
Oh, fuck!
366
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:42,043
They locked the deadbolt!
367
00:16:43,171 --> 00:16:46,256
- Open the door, you fucks!
- MIKE: Nobody's home.
368
00:16:46,257 --> 00:16:50,040
OK, OK, please, Ryan, just stop.
369
00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:51,380
This is already such a bad night.
370
00:16:51,390 --> 00:16:52,809
RYAN: God, I'm so fuckin' pissed!
371
00:16:52,810 --> 00:16:54,370
OK, OK, obviously this is not
372
00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:55,900
how I wanted tonight
to go either, like...
373
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:57,640
I'm the one who's wearing
heels right now,
374
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,170
you know? I feel like a fuckin' idiot.
375
00:16:59,788 --> 00:17:01,790
OK. Sorry.
376
00:17:03,504 --> 00:17:07,010
- Why did you invite them?
- You wanted to meet my friends.
377
00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:10,160
I thought that's what you wanted.
378
00:17:11,645 --> 00:17:13,809
Yeah. It is.
379
00:17:13,810 --> 00:17:15,820
But not like that.
380
00:17:15,830 --> 00:17:18,200
Let's just go through the back.
381
00:17:18,534 --> 00:17:19,998
What?
382
00:17:20,705 --> 00:17:23,459
The way that you always make me go?
383
00:17:24,128 --> 00:17:25,720
Yeah.
384
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:32,690
Unh!
385
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,870
OK. That was kinda hard.
386
00:17:41,550 --> 00:17:42,562
Yeah.
387
00:17:44,001 --> 00:17:46,180
Oh, excuse me.
388
00:17:48,384 --> 00:17:49,569
[GRUNTS]
389
00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,459
[CLICKS TONGUE]
390
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:06,800
I like your butt.
391
00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,260
Ryan...
392
00:18:10,261 --> 00:18:15,850
What? Annie, I'm just
saying. Is it illegal?
393
00:18:15,856 --> 00:18:18,570
Yeah, right now it kind of is.
394
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,820
You just want to go to bed?
395
00:18:22,829 --> 00:18:24,646
ANNIE: Mm...
396
00:18:27,714 --> 00:18:31,902
What I wanna do is talk.
397
00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:34,530
And touch a little bit.
398
00:18:34,540 --> 00:18:38,060
But mostly just be together. You know?
399
00:18:38,067 --> 00:18:41,650
And we might have sex,
but we probably won't.
400
00:18:41,658 --> 00:18:42,872
Yeah, we won't.
401
00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:46,160
Like nothing at all?
402
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:49,628
I mean, do you wanna watch me jack off?
403
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:53,130
No. No, I'm good.
404
00:18:53,139 --> 00:18:54,760
Yeah.
405
00:18:54,768 --> 00:18:57,180
'Cause I'm the one with the
fat ass and the big titties.
406
00:18:57,189 --> 00:19:00,055
So I get to decide what we do.
407
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,740
OK?
408
00:19:03,117 --> 00:19:04,644
OK.
409
00:19:07,209 --> 00:19:08,940
Good.
410
00:19:15,099 --> 00:19:16,980
When, um...
411
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:24,950
I was yelling at Mike
at the restaurant...
412
00:19:24,953 --> 00:19:26,580
you looked pretty.
413
00:19:26,581 --> 00:19:29,711
[CHUCKLES] Thanks.
414
00:19:31,214 --> 00:19:32,797
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS]
415
00:19:52,465 --> 00:19:58,140
WOMAN: [HUMMING] Ow.
416
00:19:58,144 --> 00:19:59,440
RYAN: [GRUNTS]
417
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:12,090
[BACON FRYING]
418
00:20:22,818 --> 00:20:24,849
Um, good morning.
419
00:20:26,408 --> 00:20:30,540
Oh, hiya! I'm Ryan and
Mike's mom. I'm Janelle.
420
00:20:30,542 --> 00:20:34,900
Oh. Oh. Oh, my God. Um, ma'am, hello.
421
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:37,680
Uh, I'm... I... I don't
normally look like this.
422
00:20:37,682 --> 00:20:40,769
I normally wear complete
outfits top to bottom.
423
00:20:40,770 --> 00:20:44,020
Oh, you don't ever have to
apologize to me, sweetie.
424
00:20:44,030 --> 00:20:45,610
You're just fine.
425
00:20:45,614 --> 00:20:49,530
Oh, thank you. Um, yeah,
I'm... I'm a friend of Ryan's.
426
00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:52,919
- I was just in his room.
- Oh, I know who you are, Annie.
427
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:55,210
Ryan told me all about you.
428
00:20:55,216 --> 00:20:58,470
- Oh, wow. Oh.
- Oh.
429
00:20:58,472 --> 00:21:00,430
That's very nice. Thank you.
430
00:21:00,435 --> 00:21:04,100
And again, I apologize
for not wearing pants.
431
00:21:04,109 --> 00:21:08,990
Oh, no. You know, when Ryan told
me that you guys were dating,
432
00:21:08,994 --> 00:21:12,160
- I looked you up.
- OK. Thank you.
433
00:21:12,167 --> 00:21:15,999
- That's so nice.
- Oh, here's the Rye Bread!
434
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,129
- Hey, Mom.
- Hi.
435
00:21:17,130 --> 00:21:18,139
Did you do my laundry?
436
00:21:18,140 --> 00:21:21,260
Yes, and I met Annie here.
We're old friends now.
437
00:21:21,268 --> 00:21:22,680
- Yes.
- Cool.
438
00:21:22,688 --> 00:21:26,730
[SNIFFS] Mom, you know I don't
like meat for breakfast.
439
00:21:26,738 --> 00:21:28,900
- Ryan.
- Oh, don't pay any attention to him.
440
00:21:28,909 --> 00:21:31,869
He's just a mean old bear
first thing in the morning
441
00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:34,219
before he's had his coffee,
but I bet you know
442
00:21:34,220 --> 00:21:35,779
all about that by now.
443
00:21:35,780 --> 00:21:40,399
Well, yes. Yes, he's like
a disrespectful baby,
444
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:41,959
but a man who should know better.
445
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,390
BOTH: [LAUGH]
446
00:21:43,395 --> 00:21:45,262
She's got your number, Ryan.
447
00:21:45,263 --> 00:21:46,650
[CHUCKLES]
448
00:21:46,653 --> 00:21:49,699
Now, Annie, Ryan here
tells me you went out
449
00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:52,562
and got my grand-baby aborted.
450
00:21:57,420 --> 00:22:01,849
Then she said she wants to
have a funeral for the fetus.
451
00:22:01,850 --> 00:22:03,970
Oh, shit. Did you tell her to fuck off?
452
00:22:03,979 --> 00:22:06,770
Um, kind of. I told her I was busy.
453
00:22:06,776 --> 00:22:10,700
And then she was like, "Oh, well, I
can do it around your schedule,"
454
00:22:10,701 --> 00:22:13,700
and so I guess now I'm planning it.
455
00:22:13,707 --> 00:22:15,370
I would have punched her.
456
00:22:15,376 --> 00:22:19,590
[CHUCKLES] No, no, she was
actually really nice.
457
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:23,559
And Ryan had told her all about
me, which was kinda nice.
458
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:25,302
And we had just spent the
whole night together...
459
00:22:25,303 --> 00:22:26,511
Raw dogging?
460
00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:31,240
No. No raw dogging. No hand
dogging, no blow dogging.
461
00:22:31,241 --> 00:22:33,143
It was just nice.
462
00:22:33,144 --> 00:22:35,160
I guess...
463
00:22:35,166 --> 00:22:38,629
Come on, man. It's better than nothing!
464
00:22:38,630 --> 00:22:40,240
That's what I always wanted for you,
465
00:22:40,250 --> 00:22:41,760
a relationship that's
better than nothing.
466
00:22:41,763 --> 00:22:44,439
ANNIE: [CHUCKLES] Oh, hey.
467
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,390
Oh, my God. Sarah, you look amazing.
468
00:22:46,396 --> 00:22:49,310
Fuck you. You cut my hair
while I was passed out!
469
00:22:49,319 --> 00:22:51,440
It looks good! And you
said that I could.
470
00:22:51,448 --> 00:22:53,200
Really? That's not how I remember it.
471
00:22:53,202 --> 00:22:55,159
Wow, this is a very
complicated situation.
472
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:56,940
I'll make it less complicated
473
00:22:56,950 --> 00:22:59,589
and I'll leave you guys
alone. How about that?
474
00:22:59,590 --> 00:23:01,756
Kinda dipping out of here.
475
00:23:02,500 --> 00:23:03,880
SARAH: How could you do this to me?
476
00:23:03,900 --> 00:23:06,309
FRAN: We talked about this...
477
00:23:06,310 --> 00:23:09,160
FRAN: Your hair was way too
long and it needed trimmed.
478
00:23:09,170 --> 00:23:11,523
SARAH: That doesn't
mean you can cut it off.
479
00:23:11,524 --> 00:23:12,780
How do you think I feel?
480
00:23:12,783 --> 00:23:15,450
I have never been so
humiliated in my life.
481
00:23:15,454 --> 00:23:16,540
[SIGHS]
482
00:23:16,541 --> 00:23:18,960
FRAN: [SOUTHERN ACCENT] Oh, go
ahead and cut it! That's great.
483
00:23:18,962 --> 00:23:22,050
SARAH: Why are you doing
a southern accent?
484
00:23:22,051 --> 00:23:23,380
[SIGHS]
485
00:23:23,387 --> 00:23:26,260
SARAH: No, I don't! And I didn't
fucking say you could cut my hair!
486
00:23:26,268 --> 00:23:28,600
And if I did I was
wasted out of my mind.
487
00:23:28,606 --> 00:23:30,770
[ARGUING CONTINUES]
488
00:23:30,777 --> 00:23:31,779
[GASPS]
489
00:23:31,780 --> 00:23:34,580
_
490
00:23:34,597 --> 00:23:36,550
[UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYS]
491
00:23:39,503 --> 00:23:41,420
- What the fuck, Fran?
- [BARKING]
492
00:23:41,423 --> 00:23:42,739
SARAH: Shut up, Bonkers!
493
00:23:42,740 --> 00:23:44,510
Don't you tell my
fucking dog to shut up!
494
00:23:44,513 --> 00:23:47,842
- Oh, yeah! Look! Look!
- FRAN: What is it?
495
00:23:47,843 --> 00:23:49,730
Oh, my God! We did it!
496
00:23:49,732 --> 00:23:52,514
BOTH: [CHEERING]
497
00:23:52,515 --> 00:23:54,349
[BARKING]
498
00:23:54,350 --> 00:23:55,400
Why are you holding your boobs?
499
00:23:55,409 --> 00:23:57,199
Because I... I don't know.
500
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,620
I'm not wearing a bra and
I'm a real fucking writer!
501
00:23:59,627 --> 00:24:00,830
BOTH: [CHEERING]
502
00:24:00,837 --> 00:24:04,259
Fran. Fran, I am trying to talk to you.
503
00:24:04,260 --> 00:24:05,549
Annie, come on.
504
00:24:05,550 --> 00:24:08,620
I'm sorry, Sarah. I am.
But I actually think
505
00:24:08,630 --> 00:24:10,059
your hair looks better this way.
506
00:24:10,060 --> 00:24:12,280
And also I just had a dream come true
507
00:24:12,290 --> 00:24:15,440
'cause I'm a real fucking writer now!
508
00:24:15,449 --> 00:24:16,950
Fran, we're done.
509
00:24:16,953 --> 00:24:19,200
Yeah, right. You love me.
510
00:24:19,207 --> 00:24:20,330
SARAH: Not this much.
511
00:24:20,334 --> 00:24:22,420
Ooh.
512
00:24:22,422 --> 00:24:24,546
[DOOR CLOSES]
513
00:24:24,547 --> 00:24:28,883
OK. I'm sorry. Did I
just make a breakup?
514
00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:31,053
No. She's just mad. It's no big deal.
515
00:24:31,054 --> 00:24:32,879
It seems like a big deal.
516
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,682
It's not. Whatever. Who
cares? I'm so happy for you!
517
00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:38,780
BOTH: [CHEERING]
518
00:24:38,788 --> 00:24:43,930
Oh, my God! You're a real writer! Wow!
519
00:24:45,468 --> 00:24:47,720
There she is. That's you.
520
00:24:47,723 --> 00:24:48,800
ANNIE: [LAUGHING]
521
00:24:48,808 --> 00:24:51,520
♪ That's my friend, she's
on top of the world ♪
522
00:24:51,522 --> 00:24:55,270
- Do you feel so good right now?
- Yes, I'm so happy.
523
00:24:55,279 --> 00:24:58,320
I can't believe he published
the entire thing.
524
00:24:58,327 --> 00:24:59,490
Gabe really liked it.
525
00:24:59,496 --> 00:25:01,289
And you gotta check out
the comment section, too.
526
00:25:01,290 --> 00:25:03,859
- Really? I haven't even looked.
- Oh, you gotta look.
527
00:25:03,860 --> 00:25:06,259
People are really nice on it.
They really get it, I think.
528
00:25:06,260 --> 00:25:08,129
That's the best.
529
00:25:08,130 --> 00:25:10,099
- Congrats.
- Thank you.
530
00:25:10,100 --> 00:25:12,100
You deserve it.
531
00:25:14,555 --> 00:25:16,650
- RUTHIE: Hey.
- Hey.
532
00:25:16,656 --> 00:25:19,225
Um, did you need something?
533
00:25:19,226 --> 00:25:22,437
No. You came over to me.
534
00:25:22,438 --> 00:25:25,499
I just wanted to let you know
535
00:25:25,500 --> 00:25:29,780
that I always thought you
were, like, a dumb person.
536
00:25:30,809 --> 00:25:33,730
But your article was...
537
00:25:33,731 --> 00:25:36,190
It was like, you know, it was very good.
538
00:25:36,194 --> 00:25:38,900
Um, so you go, girl.
539
00:25:38,908 --> 00:25:40,700
Wait, what?
540
00:25:40,704 --> 00:25:42,448
I said you go, girl.
541
00:25:42,449 --> 00:25:44,043
- You go, girl.
- Oh.
542
00:25:44,962 --> 00:25:48,838
Ruthie, thank you. That's so nice.
543
00:25:48,839 --> 00:25:52,559
That's like... This is the best
conversation we've ever had.
544
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,120
Could I borrow $5?
545
00:25:54,857 --> 00:25:57,138
Oh. Sure.
546
00:25:57,139 --> 00:25:58,474
I mean $20.
547
00:25:59,950 --> 00:26:01,601
- Twenty?
- Mm-hmm.
548
00:26:01,602 --> 00:26:02,610
It's for me.
549
00:26:03,958 --> 00:26:05,340
OK.
550
00:26:15,815 --> 00:26:18,110
[MOUSE CLICKING]
551
00:26:21,700 --> 00:26:24,400
_
552
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:29,420
_
553
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:33,720
_
554
00:26:33,750 --> 00:26:35,500
_
555
00:26:37,700 --> 00:26:41,240
_
556
00:26:42,201 --> 00:26:44,500
[MUSIC PLAYING]
557
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:51,300
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
558
00:26:51,302 --> 00:26:56,019
♪ Want to be special ♪
559
00:26:56,020 --> 00:27:00,570
♪ Something like your mother ♪
560
00:27:02,324 --> 00:27:07,200
♪ Want to be someone else ♪
561
00:27:07,209 --> 00:27:12,060
♪ Not me but another ♪
562
00:27:12,804 --> 00:27:17,810
♪ Right here in this moment ♪
563
00:27:17,814 --> 00:27:22,280
♪ I wish I could reach you ♪
564
00:27:23,820 --> 00:27:28,790
♪ I'm just a vessel ♪
565
00:27:28,794 --> 00:27:32,860
♪ Far away I see you ♪
566
00:27:34,096 --> 00:27:39,366
♪ Too many like us ♪
41503
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