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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,020 --> 00:00:03,980 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 2 00:00:04,020 --> 00:00:06,170 [MUSIC PLAYING] 3 00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:10,103 Wait. 4 00:00:13,235 --> 00:00:15,197 [DOG BARKS] 5 00:00:16,407 --> 00:00:18,161 FEMALE VOCALIST: ♪ I'm feelin' happy inside ♪ 6 00:00:18,245 --> 00:00:22,086 ♪ I got no reason to hide, I'm a dream girl ♪ 7 00:00:22,169 --> 00:00:25,092 ♪ I'm never stressin' my bills, nobody ever gets killed ♪ 8 00:00:25,175 --> 00:00:28,599 ♪ It's the dream wo-wo-wo-world ♪ 9 00:00:28,683 --> 00:00:31,354 ♪ Oh oh oh, oh oh oh ♪ 10 00:00:31,437 --> 00:00:33,859 ♪ Everything is just wonderful ♪ 11 00:00:33,943 --> 00:00:36,824 ♪ Here in my dreams, in my dreams ♪ 12 00:00:36,907 --> 00:00:39,580 ♪ Every day is a holiday ♪ 13 00:00:39,663 --> 00:00:43,003 - [GRUNTS] Oh... - ♪ When you're living inside the dreams ♪ 14 00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:46,134 - ♪ Why would anyone stay awake ♪ - ANNIE: Oh, hi. 15 00:00:46,217 --> 00:00:48,514 - ♪ After being so sound asleep ♪ - FRAN: [GRUNTS] 16 00:00:48,598 --> 00:00:50,727 - ♪ Everything is just wonderful ♪ - ANNIE: What? 17 00:00:50,810 --> 00:00:52,814 - Good God. - ♪ In my dreams... ♪ 18 00:00:52,897 --> 00:00:53,983 Bye. 19 00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:57,323 Hmm. 20 00:01:00,830 --> 00:01:05,923 ♪ Everything is just wonderful in my dreams ♪ 21 00:01:06,007 --> 00:01:08,011 - Thank you. - No problem. 22 00:01:08,094 --> 00:01:10,307 [CHATTER] 23 00:01:10,420 --> 00:01:12,020 _ 24 00:01:13,522 --> 00:01:15,150 WOMAN: Morning. How are you? 25 00:01:15,233 --> 00:01:16,402 [LAUGHS] 26 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,206 ANNIE: Cool. Kicking pizza. 27 00:01:22,289 --> 00:01:23,375 - [LAUGHS] - [CAMERA CLICKS] 28 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:26,632 - You can just take my number. - Oh! 29 00:01:26,715 --> 00:01:28,844 Oh, my God, you're Toned Tanya. 30 00:01:28,928 --> 00:01:29,930 [BOTH LAUGH] 31 00:01:30,010 --> 00:01:33,160 I was just taking a photo so the tabs were available 32 00:01:33,190 --> 00:01:34,800 for other people, so... 33 00:01:34,820 --> 00:01:38,196 - Here. Take a tab. - Oh. Thank you. [LAUGHS] 34 00:01:39,407 --> 00:01:40,535 Oh. 35 00:01:40,618 --> 00:01:43,916 Wow. Your wrists are tiny. 36 00:01:43,999 --> 00:01:45,293 Oh. 37 00:01:45,377 --> 00:01:47,841 TANYA: You actually have a really small frame. 38 00:01:48,843 --> 00:01:52,015 There is a small person inside of you dying to get out. 39 00:01:52,809 --> 00:01:55,606 Well, I hope that small person's OK in there. 40 00:01:55,690 --> 00:01:58,445 I know, it can seem impossible. But you can do this. 41 00:01:58,529 --> 00:02:00,950 You weren't meant to carry around all this extra weight. 42 00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:04,206 Oh. Wow. Um, very cool. 43 00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:05,501 I know I can help you. 44 00:02:05,585 --> 00:02:08,591 Well, that's very nice. Thank you. 45 00:02:08,674 --> 00:02:11,513 TANYA: No. Thank yourself for the amazing way you're gonna feel 46 00:02:11,597 --> 00:02:14,393 after you give yourself permission to be well. 47 00:02:15,061 --> 00:02:17,942 Thank you, me. [AWKWARD CHUCKLE] 48 00:02:18,026 --> 00:02:20,573 - You could be so pretty. - Oh. 49 00:02:24,915 --> 00:02:27,252 - That was crazy. - Oh. No. 50 00:02:27,336 --> 00:02:30,300 No, no, it was cool. She wants me to transform... 51 00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:31,970 like a Transformer. 52 00:02:32,054 --> 00:02:35,268 [LAUGHS] You're funny! You're like Rosie O'Donnell. 53 00:02:35,352 --> 00:02:36,855 - Oh. - BARISTA: I think that 54 00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:38,191 every time you come in here. 55 00:02:38,274 --> 00:02:40,445 I think, "Who does she remind me of? Rosie O'Donnell." 56 00:02:40,530 --> 00:02:43,493 Oh! Wow. Thank you. 57 00:02:43,577 --> 00:02:46,332 - BARISTA: Yeah. - OK, well, have a good one, guys. 58 00:02:46,415 --> 00:02:47,752 - WOMAN: You too. - BARISTA: You too. 59 00:02:47,836 --> 00:02:49,421 [MUSIC PLAYING] 60 00:02:55,433 --> 00:02:58,064 AMADI: "Piles of old prescription glasses and other treasures 61 00:02:58,147 --> 00:03:00,903 once owned by child ghosts can now be yours. 62 00:03:00,987 --> 00:03:03,074 It's the annual St. Andrew's Academy rummage sale." 63 00:03:03,157 --> 00:03:04,661 - It's good. - Really? 64 00:03:04,744 --> 00:03:05,955 Yeah. I'm into it. 65 00:03:06,038 --> 00:03:08,334 Hey, Gabe! Cool shirt alert! 66 00:03:08,418 --> 00:03:10,213 [LAUGHS] Whoo! 67 00:03:12,175 --> 00:03:14,681 Did you just "cool shirt alert" your grown-man boss? 68 00:03:14,764 --> 00:03:16,685 Yes. And I whoo'ed. 69 00:03:16,768 --> 00:03:18,229 [BOTH LAUGH] 70 00:03:18,313 --> 00:03:20,108 Amadi, would I be insane 71 00:03:20,191 --> 00:03:23,949 to go and pitch Gabe my idea about Portland's female longshoremen? 72 00:03:24,033 --> 00:03:25,870 - I say go for it. - Really? 73 00:03:25,953 --> 00:03:27,039 AMADI: Really. 74 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:31,088 - OK. I'm gonna do it. - AMADI: Go do it. 75 00:03:35,138 --> 00:03:37,100 - Hey, Ruthie. - What? 76 00:03:37,184 --> 00:03:39,229 - ANNIE: I was just saying hi. - Hi. 77 00:03:39,313 --> 00:03:43,530 Would it be OK if I, um, went in and talked to Gabe? 78 00:03:44,281 --> 00:03:47,287 - I'm sorry, what? - Can I go in and talk to Gabe? 79 00:03:47,371 --> 00:03:49,333 I'm having a bad day. Look at this. 80 00:03:49,416 --> 00:03:51,128 Is that a little cat? Or... 81 00:03:51,212 --> 00:03:52,924 It's a cat that was shot to death. 82 00:03:53,007 --> 00:03:54,636 Jesus! Why are you looking at that? 83 00:03:54,719 --> 00:03:56,305 I don't know. Shut up. 84 00:03:57,224 --> 00:03:59,688 - OK. Thank you. - RUTHIE: [SIGHS] 85 00:03:59,771 --> 00:04:01,190 [LIGHTLY KNOCKING] 86 00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:04,446 ANNIE: [STUTTERING] He's not coming. 87 00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:06,868 Gabe! 88 00:04:06,952 --> 00:04:08,622 GABE: I said come in! 89 00:04:08,706 --> 00:04:10,960 OK. Thanks, Ruthie. 90 00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:12,755 I'm-I'm sorry to interrupt. 91 00:04:12,839 --> 00:04:14,801 [MECHANICAL WHIRRING] 92 00:04:17,389 --> 00:04:18,642 What is it? 93 00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:21,021 I just came in to say that, um, 94 00:04:21,105 --> 00:04:23,777 I just loved your article in last week's issue. 95 00:04:23,861 --> 00:04:25,948 It was so, so great. 96 00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:27,367 Did you, um... 97 00:04:27,451 --> 00:04:29,706 did you really give Henry Rollins a piggyback ride? 98 00:04:29,789 --> 00:04:31,292 That's what we called it back then. 99 00:04:31,375 --> 00:04:34,883 [CHUCKLES] Oh, God. So, so good. Amazing. 100 00:04:34,966 --> 00:04:37,889 - What is it, Annie? - Well, um, first let me just say 101 00:04:37,972 --> 00:04:40,811 you know that it's been my dream to work for you, and I've... 102 00:04:40,895 --> 00:04:43,650 I've been reading your work since I was 14. 103 00:04:43,734 --> 00:04:45,403 GABE: That's adorable. Is there a point? 104 00:04:45,487 --> 00:04:48,451 Well, I know I'm just Assistant Calendar Editor, 105 00:04:48,535 --> 00:04:50,288 but I would really love to write more, 106 00:04:50,371 --> 00:04:52,250 - and I have some ideas... - Annie. 107 00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:54,547 You millennial dumpling. 108 00:04:54,631 --> 00:04:57,637 I just want you to work hard and pay your dues. 109 00:04:57,720 --> 00:04:59,974 - OK? - OK. 110 00:05:00,058 --> 00:05:01,895 GABE: God, when I was your age, I was already 111 00:05:01,978 --> 00:05:03,816 burnin' shit down and fuckin' shit up. 112 00:05:03,899 --> 00:05:08,617 Yes. Exactly. And I would love to start fuckin' some shit up. 113 00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:10,078 GABE: Annie, please, go away. 114 00:05:10,161 --> 00:05:13,042 I love you. You're a vital and tiny cog. 115 00:05:14,546 --> 00:05:17,510 OK. So that's a maybe then, right? 116 00:05:17,552 --> 00:05:19,927 [CHEERFUL GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS] 117 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,220 _ 118 00:05:27,237 --> 00:05:28,489 [CHUCKLES] 119 00:05:29,283 --> 00:05:31,913 [PANTING] 120 00:05:31,997 --> 00:05:35,170 RYAN: Mmm. Mmm. 121 00:05:36,506 --> 00:05:39,178 Ohh. Ohh... 122 00:05:39,261 --> 00:05:41,015 - Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait. - RYAN: What? 123 00:05:41,098 --> 00:05:43,520 - I just... Don't stop. - OK. 124 00:05:43,604 --> 00:05:45,941 I just wanna leave it on, OK? 125 00:05:46,025 --> 00:05:48,446 OK. Mmm. 126 00:05:51,368 --> 00:05:52,622 ANNIE: Yeah, yeah. 127 00:05:54,626 --> 00:05:58,049 It always feels so much better no-condom. 128 00:05:58,132 --> 00:05:59,301 For you too, right? 129 00:05:59,384 --> 00:06:02,140 Yes, absolutely. 130 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:04,760 I was worried too, because I jacked off 131 00:06:04,790 --> 00:06:06,357 like an hour before you got here. 132 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,987 - Mm-hmm? - But that was actually really good. 133 00:06:09,071 --> 00:06:10,699 - Cool. - Mm. 134 00:06:10,783 --> 00:06:13,997 Hey, um, you should get a second pillow, 135 00:06:14,081 --> 00:06:16,043 'cause then I can have one when I sleep over. 136 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,674 No way. I'm your pillow. 137 00:06:18,757 --> 00:06:20,051 [LAUGHS] 138 00:06:22,389 --> 00:06:27,065 You know, um, it's almost our six-months-of-fucking anniversary. 139 00:06:27,148 --> 00:06:28,735 Why do you think I brought the water? 140 00:06:28,819 --> 00:06:31,992 [LAUGHS] Well, thanks. 141 00:06:32,075 --> 00:06:34,329 - Thanks for that. - You're welcome. 142 00:06:35,373 --> 00:06:36,626 [KISSING] 143 00:06:39,339 --> 00:06:40,968 - [CONTENTED SIGH] - OK. 144 00:06:41,761 --> 00:06:43,932 I gotta go back to work. 145 00:06:44,016 --> 00:06:47,480 But... do you wanna get dinner tonight? 146 00:06:48,232 --> 00:06:50,278 I can't. I'm, uh, 147 00:06:50,361 --> 00:06:53,325 working on my Alcatraz podcast with Pete and Mike. 148 00:06:53,409 --> 00:06:57,543 - Oh, yeah, um, "Talkin' 'Traz," right? - Yeah. 149 00:06:57,626 --> 00:07:00,507 Well, do you work at the hardware store today, or no? 150 00:07:00,591 --> 00:07:03,429 No. My boss Dave suspended me 151 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:07,228 for making free keys for everyone I know. 152 00:07:07,312 --> 00:07:10,736 Well, then you should make a key to Dave's house 153 00:07:10,810 --> 00:07:13,160 and then kill him and his entire family. 154 00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:14,702 - ANNIE: [LAUGHS] - That's fucked up. 155 00:07:14,786 --> 00:07:17,248 - His wife just had a baby. - Oh. Yeah. 156 00:07:17,332 --> 00:07:20,004 I-I wasn't serious about the murder, 157 00:07:20,088 --> 00:07:23,762 but you're taking it seriously, so that's good. 158 00:07:23,845 --> 00:07:25,891 I'm glad I got to see you. 159 00:07:25,974 --> 00:07:28,020 Me too. That was cool. 160 00:07:29,147 --> 00:07:31,401 - Yeah. - MAN: Good God... 161 00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:34,032 Hey, my roommates are here, so... 162 00:07:34,116 --> 00:07:36,161 Your brother and Pete? I really want to meet them. 163 00:07:36,245 --> 00:07:38,082 Yeah, and you will, like, definitely. 164 00:07:38,165 --> 00:07:40,169 But maybe not today? 165 00:07:40,253 --> 00:07:43,425 I don't wanna have to explain my love life to those clowns. 166 00:07:43,510 --> 00:07:45,179 - Totally. Sure. - RYAN: Yeah. 167 00:07:45,263 --> 00:07:48,854 Hey. You're cool with going out the back again, right? 168 00:07:49,271 --> 00:07:51,651 Um... 169 00:07:51,734 --> 00:07:54,072 - Yeah. - RYAN: Cool. 170 00:07:54,156 --> 00:07:55,158 C'mon. 171 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,913 [GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING] 172 00:07:57,955 --> 00:08:00,418 - Shhh! Quietly. - [CHUCKLES] 173 00:08:06,848 --> 00:08:08,100 OK, bye. 174 00:08:08,852 --> 00:08:10,772 [WHISPERS] Oh, wait. Gimme a kiss. 175 00:08:43,420 --> 00:08:45,091 - [THUD] - ANNIE: Uhh! 176 00:08:51,103 --> 00:08:52,523 Hi. 177 00:08:52,606 --> 00:08:56,614 Let's see, I got my lotion and my gum 178 00:08:56,698 --> 00:09:01,081 and my shoelaces for my brown shoes, which I love, 179 00:09:01,164 --> 00:09:05,549 um, and could I also get, um, the morning-after pill? 180 00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:08,429 I think it's called... Step Two? 181 00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:12,270 - [SCANNER BEEPS] - Thank you. 182 00:09:13,607 --> 00:09:14,734 [CHUCKLES] 183 00:09:14,817 --> 00:09:18,115 So, do you, uh, sell more of the morning-after pill 184 00:09:18,198 --> 00:09:21,371 in the morning, or is it kind of an all-day thing? 185 00:09:23,417 --> 00:09:25,631 Hey, Nick! Do we sell the morning-after pill... 186 00:09:25,714 --> 00:09:28,637 That's OK, we... we don't need to bother Nick. 187 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,934 He's, um, doin' pill business. 188 00:09:32,018 --> 00:09:34,899 Um, I-I will just pay, 189 00:09:34,982 --> 00:09:37,236 and... and this'll be over. 190 00:09:38,322 --> 00:09:39,909 FRAN: This is the best haircut I've ever done. 191 00:09:39,992 --> 00:09:43,917 If I saw you walkin' down the street, I would get down on one knee. 192 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,629 You look perfect. 193 00:09:45,712 --> 00:09:47,215 CUSTOMER: Fran, you're a genius. 194 00:09:47,298 --> 00:09:48,843 FRAN: Text me if you want a fringe trim. 195 00:09:48,927 --> 00:09:52,183 Or text me when you break up with your shitty boyfriend. 196 00:09:52,266 --> 00:09:53,895 Bye. Thank you. 197 00:09:53,978 --> 00:09:55,941 - Bye, Annie. - Bye! 198 00:09:56,024 --> 00:09:58,738 Oh, my God. She comes for trims all the time. 199 00:09:58,820 --> 00:10:01,460 - It's exhausting. - I know, and did she even pay you? 200 00:10:01,490 --> 00:10:03,163 'Cause she's the one that never pays, right? 201 00:10:03,247 --> 00:10:04,834 She never pays me in money. 202 00:10:04,917 --> 00:10:06,838 It's always some shit that I don't want. 203 00:10:06,850 --> 00:10:09,134 I mean, let's see what she brought me this time. 204 00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:11,639 - OK, whoa. - Oh. 205 00:10:11,723 --> 00:10:13,768 Ooh! 206 00:10:13,852 --> 00:10:16,022 This could be for you. 207 00:10:16,106 --> 00:10:17,609 I don't know. 208 00:10:17,693 --> 00:10:19,613 I don't know if I would really wear this. 209 00:10:19,697 --> 00:10:21,116 Like, could I pull it off? 210 00:10:21,199 --> 00:10:24,205 Also, it looks like the security tags are still on there, 211 00:10:24,289 --> 00:10:26,334 which, I don't know, kind of leads me to believe 212 00:10:26,410 --> 00:10:27,680 it's all stolen. 213 00:10:27,713 --> 00:10:30,092 Is that our business, though? 214 00:10:30,176 --> 00:10:33,348 I mean, yes, a grifter whose hair I cut brought them into our home, 215 00:10:33,432 --> 00:10:35,102 but this stuff is nice. 216 00:10:35,729 --> 00:10:37,899 - Ooh. - Good God. 217 00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:40,103 - That's looks like a stillborn puppy. - ANNIE: What?! 218 00:10:41,072 --> 00:10:43,745 - [BARKS] - Bonkers! Bonkers, no! 219 00:10:44,538 --> 00:10:46,542 Oh my God, he has a tampon. 220 00:10:46,626 --> 00:10:48,588 [DOG BARKING] 221 00:10:49,214 --> 00:10:52,470 - Was that yours? - No. No, I haven't had my period 222 00:10:52,554 --> 00:10:54,892 - [PHONE CHIMES] - in kind of a while, actually. 223 00:10:54,975 --> 00:10:56,521 - Oh, fuck! - What? 224 00:10:56,604 --> 00:10:58,608 Mia just texted me and said she wanted to hang out, 225 00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:00,444 but I already told the other one she could come over. 226 00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:04,662 OK. Don't call her "the other one." I really like Sarah. 227 00:11:04,745 --> 00:11:06,749 Yeah, I mean, Sarah's fine. 228 00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,795 What... what are you, Mrs. Doubtfire? 229 00:11:08,820 --> 00:11:10,420 You gonna get 'em in the same restaurant 230 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,900 and just juggle 'em back and forth? 231 00:11:12,930 --> 00:11:15,600 OK, first of all, that's not the plot of Mrs. Doubtfire. 232 00:11:15,684 --> 00:11:17,688 Mrs. Doubtfire is about one man 233 00:11:17,771 --> 00:11:20,902 trying to convince one family that he's two people. 234 00:11:20,986 --> 00:11:24,702 I am one person trying to fuck two people as myself. 235 00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:27,164 OK, well, that is fucked, Fran. 236 00:11:28,877 --> 00:11:30,004 What's your problem? 237 00:11:30,087 --> 00:11:33,302 I don't know, I feel... kind of weird. 238 00:11:33,385 --> 00:11:34,387 [DOORBELL RINGS] 239 00:11:34,470 --> 00:11:36,099 Shit, that's Sarah. Are you OK? 240 00:11:36,182 --> 00:11:37,476 Yeah, I'm fine. 241 00:11:40,232 --> 00:11:42,905 [INHALES, EXHALES] 242 00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:53,660 _ 243 00:11:56,139 --> 00:11:58,310 "Submerge the wand... " 244 00:12:01,358 --> 00:12:03,780 [URINATING] 245 00:12:03,863 --> 00:12:05,742 Fuck! 246 00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:07,871 Uhh. Shit. 247 00:12:20,187 --> 00:12:23,820 Hello. I'm sorry, I just took this pregnancy test in your bathroom, 248 00:12:23,903 --> 00:12:25,865 and I believe that it's defective, 249 00:12:25,949 --> 00:12:28,120 because it just gave me a very disturbing false positive, 250 00:12:28,203 --> 00:12:30,040 so I would love to do an exchange, please? 251 00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:31,794 How is it defective? 252 00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:35,009 It says that I'm pregnant, and that's impossible 253 00:12:35,092 --> 00:12:36,762 because I've been taking the morning-after pill. 254 00:12:36,846 --> 00:12:40,520 Oh. Uh, do you weigh over 175 pounds? 255 00:12:40,603 --> 00:12:41,981 Yes. 256 00:12:42,060 --> 00:12:43,780 PHARMACIST: The morning-only pill is only dosed 257 00:12:43,810 --> 00:12:46,364 for women 175 pounds and under. 258 00:12:46,448 --> 00:12:49,078 What?! But I've taken it before. 259 00:12:49,162 --> 00:12:51,625 It's supposed to be for emergencies only. 260 00:12:53,170 --> 00:12:54,590 I guess... 261 00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:56,342 I guess I'm just wondering why 262 00:12:56,426 --> 00:12:58,723 the pharmacist who's usually here when I'm here, 263 00:12:58,806 --> 00:13:00,518 the like... Irish hunk, 264 00:13:00,602 --> 00:13:03,273 like, why didn't he tell me that the morning-after pill 265 00:13:03,356 --> 00:13:04,450 wouldn't work for me 266 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,947 any of the last seven times I've come here and bought it? 267 00:13:07,031 --> 00:13:09,745 Oh, that guy. That guy's very bad at his job. 268 00:13:09,828 --> 00:13:10,914 Yeah. 269 00:13:11,456 --> 00:13:12,751 Yeah! 270 00:13:14,045 --> 00:13:15,214 OK. 271 00:13:16,341 --> 00:13:18,763 [MUSIC PLAYING] 272 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:22,680 _ 273 00:13:24,482 --> 00:13:25,484 [TEXT ALERT] 274 00:13:33,620 --> 00:13:38,200 _ 275 00:13:48,656 --> 00:13:50,158 FRAN: OK, I don't understand. 276 00:13:50,242 --> 00:13:53,164 How did this even happen? I mean, you obviously use birth control. 277 00:13:53,248 --> 00:13:55,002 I mean, usually we do, 278 00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:58,759 but I don't know, Ryan loves to raw-dog. 279 00:13:58,843 --> 00:14:00,638 Ohh. Sorry, what? 280 00:14:00,722 --> 00:14:02,224 Well, raw-dogging. 281 00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:04,437 It's literally his favorite thing. 282 00:14:04,521 --> 00:14:08,320 So how could I take away his favorite thing? 283 00:14:08,403 --> 00:14:10,490 My favorite thing is you not having a child 284 00:14:10,575 --> 00:14:12,411 with a guy who says "raw-dog." 285 00:14:12,494 --> 00:14:14,373 You trying to take away my favorite thing? 286 00:14:14,457 --> 00:14:17,254 No. No, I just... 287 00:14:18,340 --> 00:14:22,170 You know, I've been using the morning-after pill, and it didn't work. 288 00:14:22,181 --> 00:14:25,563 Are you rich? That's like $50 every time you have sex with Ryan. 289 00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:29,028 It's just, he liked me, and I didn't want him to stop liking me, 290 00:14:29,111 --> 00:14:31,951 so... I just went with it. 291 00:14:32,034 --> 00:14:34,873 - Wow. - I know. I just... 292 00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,835 What do you think I should do? 293 00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:38,839 What? Get an abortion 294 00:14:38,923 --> 00:14:41,094 before it becomes illegal or something. 295 00:14:41,177 --> 00:14:45,018 Yeah, but I keep having this little thought of like 296 00:14:45,102 --> 00:14:47,983 maybe this is my chance to be a mom. 297 00:14:48,609 --> 00:14:51,991 OK, you're gonna have a lot more chances to be a mum, 298 00:14:52,074 --> 00:14:54,495 and maybe we just don't take this one, 299 00:14:54,570 --> 00:14:56,680 which is the one with the guy 300 00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:58,340 who makes you leave through the back gate. 301 00:14:59,005 --> 00:15:02,219 I just mean, like... 302 00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:07,187 there have been moments in my life... [CRYING] 303 00:15:07,271 --> 00:15:11,154 where I like, didn't think that I would ever get to have that. 304 00:15:11,237 --> 00:15:15,621 You know? Because of what I looked like or... 305 00:15:15,705 --> 00:15:19,295 because there's a certain way that your body is supposed to be, 306 00:15:19,378 --> 00:15:20,798 and I'm not that. 307 00:15:23,094 --> 00:15:25,015 And that... 308 00:15:25,098 --> 00:15:28,522 maybe if I was just sweet enough and nice enough 309 00:15:28,606 --> 00:15:31,862 and easy-going enough with any guy, 310 00:15:31,945 --> 00:15:33,574 that that would be enough for someone. 311 00:15:33,657 --> 00:15:36,622 Honey, you're being so mean to yourself. I... 312 00:15:38,918 --> 00:15:40,295 I mean, it makes me so sad. 313 00:15:40,378 --> 00:15:42,842 Well... I mean, 314 00:15:42,926 --> 00:15:47,309 it's humiliating to say out loud, but it's also the kind of stuff 315 00:15:47,392 --> 00:15:49,815 that's fucking going through my head all the time. 316 00:15:49,898 --> 00:15:52,111 Then we need to make sure that it's not going through your head 317 00:15:52,194 --> 00:15:54,031 all the time, and we need to untrain you 318 00:15:54,115 --> 00:15:57,250 from thinking of yourself in such a brutal way. 319 00:15:57,287 --> 00:15:59,333 Maybe the first step to doing that 320 00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:02,339 is ending things with this Ryan. 321 00:16:03,299 --> 00:16:05,345 Yeah. I just... 322 00:16:05,428 --> 00:16:07,349 I don't know if I can do that. 323 00:16:07,432 --> 00:16:08,853 I think you can. 324 00:16:11,482 --> 00:16:15,700 Do you think it would be OK if I just laid down on this couch 325 00:16:15,783 --> 00:16:18,246 and slept here until I died? 326 00:16:18,288 --> 00:16:19,924 I think you have to. 327 00:16:25,511 --> 00:16:26,889 Mom? 328 00:16:30,897 --> 00:16:32,901 - Mom? - VERA: Oh, hi! 329 00:16:32,980 --> 00:16:34,180 - Oh, hi. - VERA: I didn't know 330 00:16:34,190 --> 00:16:35,280 you were coming over. 331 00:16:35,363 --> 00:16:37,451 - Yeah. - VERA: Oh. 332 00:16:37,535 --> 00:16:38,704 Um, where's Dad? 333 00:16:38,787 --> 00:16:41,459 - Oh, he's laying down. - Oh. 334 00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:44,131 - How was radiation? - Oh, the same. 335 00:16:44,215 --> 00:16:47,054 Makes him feel like shit, but that's just how it is. 336 00:16:47,137 --> 00:16:50,352 - Yeah. - Hey, are you liking the Thin Menu? 337 00:16:50,435 --> 00:16:52,941 Because I am loving it. 338 00:16:53,024 --> 00:16:55,445 Um, I don't know. It's fine. 339 00:16:55,529 --> 00:16:58,034 I definitely am starving all day long. 340 00:16:58,117 --> 00:17:01,374 Oh. OK, well, are you doing the almonds between meals? 341 00:17:01,457 --> 00:17:03,712 Six almonds keeps me full for hours. 342 00:17:03,796 --> 00:17:06,718 Yeah. I'm doing the almonds. They're so satisfying. 343 00:17:06,802 --> 00:17:10,016 Sometimes when I have six almonds I feel like I had twelve almonds. 344 00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:12,479 - Oh. You're joking. - [LAUGHS] 345 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:14,560 Sorry. It sucks. 346 00:17:14,620 --> 00:17:17,780 You know, the stuff isn't exactly free, Annie. 347 00:17:17,865 --> 00:17:21,122 You know, excuse me for trying to do something to help both of us 348 00:17:21,205 --> 00:17:23,042 get a little bit healthier. 349 00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:25,046 [SIGHS] Will you please take this to your father? 350 00:17:28,094 --> 00:17:30,307 What? Are you mad? 351 00:17:30,390 --> 00:17:32,645 - No! - OK. 352 00:17:34,189 --> 00:17:35,483 Oh, God. 353 00:17:36,193 --> 00:17:38,991 [JAZZ PIANO PLAYING ON SOUND SYSTEM] 354 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:49,060 Hi. 355 00:17:51,182 --> 00:17:53,102 Hey. Annie Banannie! 356 00:17:53,186 --> 00:17:55,148 [BOTH LAUGHING] 357 00:17:55,231 --> 00:17:57,612 Welcome to my office. 358 00:17:57,695 --> 00:17:59,866 [JAZZ CONTINUES] 359 00:18:00,910 --> 00:18:04,333 Ooh. I like this. What is this? 360 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:07,965 This is me and Uncle Jerry at the Hungry Turtle. 361 00:18:08,049 --> 00:18:09,761 1977. 362 00:18:09,844 --> 00:18:12,474 I was younger than you when I recorded this. 363 00:18:14,562 --> 00:18:17,150 - Where's Mom? - She's in the kitchen. 364 00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:19,906 I bet she'll make you a sandwich or something if you want it. 365 00:18:19,989 --> 00:18:23,413 [CHUCKLES] Remember that chicken salad you made me for Father's Day? 366 00:18:23,496 --> 00:18:25,793 - ANNIE: Oh. - That was the best chicken salad 367 00:18:25,876 --> 00:18:27,755 I have ever had in my life. 368 00:18:27,839 --> 00:18:29,551 It was perfect! 369 00:18:29,634 --> 00:18:32,222 Well, I am definitely not perfect. 370 00:18:32,305 --> 00:18:34,351 Really? Well, that's too bad, 'cause I am. 371 00:18:34,435 --> 00:18:37,190 - [LAUGHS] Oh, Dad! - Hmm? 372 00:18:37,274 --> 00:18:39,236 [BOTH LAUGH] 373 00:18:41,950 --> 00:18:43,494 [EXHALES] 374 00:18:44,622 --> 00:18:47,169 How are you doing? OK? 375 00:18:48,505 --> 00:18:52,220 Never better. Really. Mom's taking great care of me. 376 00:18:52,304 --> 00:18:54,601 I'm gonna be back in fightin' shape before you know it. 377 00:18:58,692 --> 00:19:00,654 [SIGHS] 378 00:19:05,121 --> 00:19:07,125 [NOSTALGIC MUSIC PLAYING] 379 00:19:30,631 --> 00:19:33,929 [CHATTER, LAUGHTER IN DISTANCE] 380 00:19:37,890 --> 00:19:41,340 [BOTH LAUGHING] 381 00:19:41,987 --> 00:19:44,951 VERA: And she did it! And then she did it! 382 00:19:45,034 --> 00:19:47,289 [BOTH LAUGHING] 383 00:19:51,130 --> 00:19:52,592 Thank you. 384 00:19:56,056 --> 00:19:59,898 Um, they actually said I can have a support person, 385 00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:02,319 which means that you can come in with me. 386 00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:03,822 Of course I will. 387 00:20:05,951 --> 00:20:07,747 - [SIGHS] - NURSE PRACTITIONER: OK, Annie, 388 00:20:07,830 --> 00:20:10,251 I'm just gonna finish numbing you now. 389 00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:11,963 You might feel some light cramping. 390 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,740 You might also feel some numbing in your tongue 391 00:20:14,750 --> 00:20:16,180 or ringing in your ears. OK? 392 00:20:16,220 --> 00:20:17,340 OK. 393 00:20:17,432 --> 00:20:18,936 FRAN: You OK? 394 00:20:19,019 --> 00:20:20,480 [EXHALES] 395 00:20:20,564 --> 00:20:23,570 NURSE PRACTITIONER: Now I'm opening your cervix. 396 00:20:23,654 --> 00:20:25,616 Some cramping is normal. 397 00:20:27,070 --> 00:20:28,480 Everything looks great, 398 00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:30,834 and we're about two-thirds of the way finished now. 399 00:20:30,918 --> 00:20:33,255 FRAN: You're doing great, Annie. Almost done. 400 00:20:35,051 --> 00:20:37,138 [BITTERSWEET MUSIC PLAYING] 401 00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:01,620 FRAN: Annie? 402 00:21:02,648 --> 00:21:04,861 - Are you awake? - ANNIE: Ye-es. 403 00:21:08,075 --> 00:21:10,706 - FRAN: Oh, my God. - OK, yes? 404 00:21:10,789 --> 00:21:13,169 Yes. Wow. Thank you. 405 00:21:13,252 --> 00:21:14,672 - You like it? - FRAN: I'm a genius. 406 00:21:14,756 --> 00:21:16,843 I was right. You look fucking amazing. 407 00:21:16,926 --> 00:21:19,097 I know. I didn't think I was gonna like it, 408 00:21:19,181 --> 00:21:21,143 but I actually really like it. 409 00:21:21,226 --> 00:21:23,355 So, thank you. 410 00:21:23,439 --> 00:21:26,278 - How you feeling? - Better. 411 00:21:26,361 --> 00:21:30,328 Like, I feel... really, really good. 412 00:21:30,411 --> 00:21:32,123 FRAN: What happened? 413 00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:34,837 I don't know. I've had the last couple days 414 00:21:34,921 --> 00:21:37,510 to think about a lot of shit, 415 00:21:37,593 --> 00:21:40,557 like when I was at my parents' house 416 00:21:40,580 --> 00:21:43,605 and I was just looking at all these photos of me 417 00:21:43,688 --> 00:21:45,818 from when I was growing up, 418 00:21:45,901 --> 00:21:48,824 and little me was just so happy 419 00:21:48,907 --> 00:21:52,455 and fat and had big, dumb dreams. 420 00:21:52,540 --> 00:21:57,720 And I got myself into this huge fucking mess... 421 00:21:58,300 --> 00:22:01,431 but I made a decision, 422 00:22:01,516 --> 00:22:04,437 only for me, for myself, 423 00:22:04,522 --> 00:22:06,358 and I got myself out of it. 424 00:22:06,441 --> 00:22:07,611 Good. 425 00:22:07,695 --> 00:22:11,118 I don't know, I feel very fucking powerful right now. 426 00:22:11,201 --> 00:22:14,124 And I just feel like I need to go out. 427 00:22:14,207 --> 00:22:16,980 Do it, bitch. I love you. 428 00:22:17,005 --> 00:22:19,176 I love you too. 429 00:22:19,259 --> 00:22:21,430 - Oh, no. - FRAN: Oh-ho-ho! 430 00:22:21,514 --> 00:22:22,740 - Oh, my gosh. - FRAN: OK. 431 00:22:22,780 --> 00:22:25,450 - ANNIE: What's happening? - I have no idea, but I like it. 432 00:22:25,479 --> 00:22:27,108 I'm afraid that I'm feeling myself. 433 00:22:27,192 --> 00:22:29,237 [LAUGHING] 434 00:22:29,321 --> 00:22:31,366 It's an emergency. 435 00:22:31,450 --> 00:22:33,538 Whoa. Yes. I need to call 9-9-9. 436 00:22:33,622 --> 00:22:35,124 9-1-1! 437 00:22:35,208 --> 00:22:36,794 [BOTH LAUGHING] 438 00:22:36,878 --> 00:22:40,301 Some people think Alcatraz is an island off San Francisco, 439 00:22:40,384 --> 00:22:43,642 but I'm here to tell you it's an island of the mind. 440 00:22:43,725 --> 00:22:45,562 Oh, shit. 441 00:22:45,646 --> 00:22:47,482 That's crazy. Did you just think of that? 442 00:22:47,566 --> 00:22:50,739 Should our podcast be titled "Island of the Mind"? 443 00:22:50,822 --> 00:22:53,703 - MIKE: Oh, I like that. - It's already called "Talkin' 'Traz." 444 00:22:53,787 --> 00:22:56,208 - I'm gonna start again. - [HITS BUTTON] 445 00:22:56,291 --> 00:22:58,128 Welcome back to "Talkin' 'Traz." 446 00:22:58,212 --> 00:23:01,260 Some people think Alcatraz is an island off San Francisco, 447 00:23:01,343 --> 00:23:03,472 - Hi! - but I'm here... 448 00:23:03,556 --> 00:23:04,642 Oh, hey. 449 00:23:04,725 --> 00:23:06,270 Hey. Can we talk? 450 00:23:07,313 --> 00:23:09,317 - Yeah. - OK. 451 00:23:09,401 --> 00:23:11,520 Hi. I'm Annie. 452 00:23:11,540 --> 00:23:13,990 I'm the one that Ryan fucks, so... 453 00:23:16,624 --> 00:23:20,381 I just... I wanted you to know that I got pregnant. 454 00:23:20,460 --> 00:23:21,580 Oh, shit! 455 00:23:23,220 --> 00:23:26,101 - And I had an abortion. - Ahh, that's good news. 456 00:23:26,184 --> 00:23:28,919 Ryan, don't. Don't do that. 457 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,020 OK. 458 00:23:31,111 --> 00:23:34,910 Um, I really, really thought about 459 00:23:34,994 --> 00:23:36,914 having a baby with you. 460 00:23:36,998 --> 00:23:41,089 And that you would have to take me out to restaurants 461 00:23:41,170 --> 00:23:44,360 and treat me like a normal girl. 462 00:23:44,390 --> 00:23:47,840 And then I just started thinking I shouldn't have to fucking trap you 463 00:23:47,860 --> 00:23:50,810 into treating me like I'm a human being. 464 00:23:50,901 --> 00:23:54,170 And I've been letting people dismiss me 465 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:58,580 or say shit to me about my body my entire life. 466 00:23:58,666 --> 00:24:01,046 And at this point, I just feel like "Fuck them." 467 00:24:01,129 --> 00:24:03,635 - Yeah, fuck them. - And fuck you, too. 468 00:24:03,718 --> 00:24:06,223 Yeah. I mean... 469 00:24:06,306 --> 00:24:07,392 wow. 470 00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:10,857 Um... 471 00:24:10,941 --> 00:24:13,153 it's probably for the best. 472 00:24:13,237 --> 00:24:15,241 I don't think I could deal with another kid. 473 00:24:17,538 --> 00:24:18,915 What? 474 00:24:18,998 --> 00:24:21,879 You know, besides Nathaniel. Little man. 475 00:24:23,048 --> 00:24:26,304 Are you telling me you have a fuckin' child? 476 00:24:26,388 --> 00:24:28,726 Yeah. He's 14. 477 00:24:28,810 --> 00:24:31,607 He lives with his mom and his stepdad up in Vancouver. 478 00:24:31,691 --> 00:24:33,945 He's a dual citizen, which is kind of cool. 479 00:24:34,028 --> 00:24:36,324 - Are you serious? - I told you about Nathaniel. 480 00:24:36,350 --> 00:24:40,140 No. No, you never told me that you had a child. 481 00:24:40,166 --> 00:24:41,794 I think I would remember that. 482 00:24:41,878 --> 00:24:45,594 I mean, this is exactly my point. I don't know you. 483 00:24:45,677 --> 00:24:48,182 And you don't know me at all. 484 00:24:48,265 --> 00:24:51,606 I can't do this anymore. This is not working. 485 00:24:51,689 --> 00:24:53,400 I... I'm gonna go. 486 00:24:56,031 --> 00:24:57,784 Uh, wait. Annie. 487 00:24:59,454 --> 00:25:02,711 Are you OK? About the thing? 488 00:25:02,794 --> 00:25:04,255 The abortion? 489 00:25:04,339 --> 00:25:07,011 Yeah. I'm OK. 490 00:25:17,448 --> 00:25:20,287 - I'm not into logistics. - No, I understand that. 491 00:25:20,371 --> 00:25:21,650 But what are we going do about it? 492 00:25:21,660 --> 00:25:23,001 ANDY: We got it all taken care of. 493 00:25:23,085 --> 00:25:24,964 - Gabe. Gabe. - We got Jen and Bob... 494 00:25:25,047 --> 00:25:28,721 Gabe. Can I give you a quick pitch, please? 495 00:25:28,805 --> 00:25:31,184 I recently found out that the morning-after pill 496 00:25:31,268 --> 00:25:33,898 doesn't work on plus-size women, and I was wondering 497 00:25:33,982 --> 00:25:35,777 - if I could write something... - No. 498 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:39,919 - Um, yeah, so... - Do we have a team 499 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:40,949 that can move that quickly? 500 00:25:40,950 --> 00:25:42,290 Yes. We've got a team ready... 501 00:25:42,373 --> 00:25:44,878 I'm sorry. Are you fucking kidding me? 502 00:25:44,962 --> 00:25:47,466 You let Andy write an 1800-word feature 503 00:25:47,551 --> 00:25:48,928 about what it's like to do molly, 504 00:25:49,012 --> 00:25:50,431 and then you let him write a second one 505 00:25:50,515 --> 00:25:52,853 called "Return to Molly: Doing Molly Again." 506 00:25:52,860 --> 00:25:56,318 That sucks! I'm better than Andy! 507 00:25:56,401 --> 00:25:59,198 I'm sorry. Andy, you're great in a lot of ways, but I'm... 508 00:25:59,282 --> 00:26:01,704 I'm better in most! 509 00:26:01,787 --> 00:26:05,100 Oh, my God. You're a total bitch. 510 00:26:05,127 --> 00:26:07,173 N-No, I'm not. 511 00:26:07,256 --> 00:26:10,346 Yes, you are. You're a shitty cunt. 512 00:26:10,429 --> 00:26:12,141 And I like it. 513 00:26:12,224 --> 00:26:15,397 Really? So... can I write my article? 514 00:26:15,481 --> 00:26:19,823 - No. - Well, Gabe, Carla's out next week, 515 00:26:19,907 --> 00:26:22,370 and we need somebody to write the food follows, so... 516 00:26:22,390 --> 00:26:25,000 - Oh, my God. Fine. - Wait. Really? 517 00:26:25,084 --> 00:26:26,712 Yes, I don't really give a shit. 518 00:26:26,796 --> 00:26:30,219 - Oh, my God, thank you so much! - Honey, please. 519 00:26:30,302 --> 00:26:34,520 And Andy, oh, my God, I just sold you out so fuckin' hard 520 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:37,690 and you did me such a solid! Thank you, man! 521 00:26:37,776 --> 00:26:39,697 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 522 00:26:39,780 --> 00:26:41,790 - Thank you. - No, just the one is fine. 523 00:26:41,826 --> 00:26:45,249 Okay, you're right. I know. It's just the food follow, and I'm... 524 00:26:45,332 --> 00:26:47,086 I'm so... Thank you. 525 00:26:48,296 --> 00:26:49,717 Yes! 526 00:26:54,935 --> 00:26:56,020 Damn. 527 00:27:07,418 --> 00:27:09,380 [KNOCKING] 528 00:27:09,464 --> 00:27:12,094 - [MUFFLED] Hey. One sec. - Oh. 529 00:27:13,848 --> 00:27:17,021 - You were supposed to call me! - Yeah, I'm... 530 00:27:17,100 --> 00:27:18,540 I'm actually all good. 531 00:27:18,580 --> 00:27:20,590 - Thank you, though. - TANYA: But you need a trainer. 532 00:27:20,612 --> 00:27:22,114 Come on, girl, you owe it to yourself. 533 00:27:22,198 --> 00:27:23,868 You don't have to settle for this. 534 00:27:23,951 --> 00:27:27,166 - You better call me. - OK. 535 00:27:27,249 --> 00:27:28,669 Fuck you. 536 00:27:28,753 --> 00:27:30,422 Excuse me? 537 00:27:30,507 --> 00:27:34,723 Oh. I just said thank you for caring about my health. 538 00:27:34,806 --> 00:27:36,309 I heard what you said, and you know what, 539 00:27:36,392 --> 00:27:38,773 I was just trying to help you, you fat bitch. 540 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,420 FEMALE VOCALIST: ♪ Don't worry 'bout me, I'm doing good ♪ 541 00:27:50,505 --> 00:27:52,676 ♪ I'm doing great, alright ♪ 542 00:27:52,759 --> 00:27:57,059 ♪ It's about to get ugly, flow so mean, I just can't be polite ♪ 543 00:27:57,142 --> 00:28:01,380 ♪ Don't worry 'bout me, I'm doing good, I'm doing great, alright ♪ 544 00:28:01,401 --> 00:28:05,200 ♪ It's about to get ugly, flow so mean, I just can't be polite ♪ 545 00:28:05,284 --> 00:28:07,747 ♪ I bet you ain't heard no flow like this ♪ 546 00:28:07,831 --> 00:28:10,043 ♪ Make you say, "Yo, excuse me, Miss" ♪ 547 00:28:10,127 --> 00:28:12,006 ♪ Go against me, I'll beat like Swizz ♪ 548 00:28:12,089 --> 00:28:14,427 ♪ I like my paper nice and crisp, oh ♪ 549 00:28:14,511 --> 00:28:16,306 ♪ Crispy clean and crisp and clean ♪ 550 00:28:16,389 --> 00:28:18,226 ♪ For the dough I go nuts like Krispy Kreme ♪ 551 00:28:18,310 --> 00:28:20,773 ♪ Music is in my Billie genes ♪ 552 00:28:20,857 --> 00:28:23,111 ♪ Can't no one ever come between, yo ♪ 553 00:28:23,194 --> 00:28:27,244 ♪ Don't worry 'bout me, I'm doing good, I'm doing great, alright ♪ 554 00:28:27,328 --> 00:28:31,879 ♪ It's about to get ugly, flow so mean, I just can't be polite ♪ 555 00:28:31,962 --> 00:28:36,220 ♪ Don't worry 'bout me, I'm doing good, I'm doing great, alright ♪ 556 00:28:36,304 --> 00:28:39,101 ♪ It's about to get ugly, flow so mean, I just can't ♪ 557 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:44,620 [SONG CONTINUES] 558 00:28:48,829 --> 00:28:53,254 ♪ Don't worry 'bout me, I'm doing good, I'm doing great, alright ♪ 559 00:28:53,338 --> 00:28:57,889 ♪ It's about to get ugly, flow so mean, I just can't be polite ♪ 560 00:28:57,972 --> 00:29:02,272 ♪ Don't worry 'bout me, I'm doing good, I'm doing great, alright ♪ 561 00:29:02,350 --> 00:29:05,340 ♪ It's about to get ugly, flow so mean, I just can't ♪ 41843

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