Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Going down a rabbit hole

Where we going no one knows

Obstacles 'round every bend

Let's see where the tunnel ends

and zone out with some music and movies.

Hmm.

That's funny. I don't remember leaving the door open.

Hello?

Oh, no, has someone been in here?

What's missing?

What's out of place? Oh!

Ahhh! My tablet!

It's gone!

(SCREAMING) No!

I have been robbed, robbed! (SIGHS)

Without that tablet, my life has no meaning.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Good afternoon, Mr. Bunny.

(STAMMERING) Detective Porky Pig, Metropolitan Police Department.

Oh, thank goodness! Someone alerted you to the robbery?

No, I'm here, because we had reports

of a crazy rabbit screaming out his window.

You'd be crazy, too, if you found out your

sole source of pleasure in the world was stolen.

They stole your slop bucket?

No, my tablet. I can't live without it!

Calm down, Mr. Bunny.

So, where was the last place you had it?

Over there, on the stump table.

It looks like your tablet has been deleted.

-(ROCK GUITAR RIFF PLAYS)- Ahhh!

Why are you screaming?

-You're standing on my foot. -Oh, sorry.

The first thing we need to do, is recreate the crime scene by taking some pictures.

-Hmm. -(CAMERA CLICKS)

-Uh-huh. Hmm. -(CAMERA CLICKS)

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Porky? Do you mind if we hurry this along?

(CAMERA CLICKING)

Come on. Throw some glitter there!

Here. Take this. Check out this evidence.

Come on. We got to recreate this scene.

Then the giant monster attacks...

Stand me up, Porky!

That fella's about to crush me.

Oh, man, oh, man. This stop-motion animation is ridiculously difficult.

I thought you wanted to find your tablet.

Oh, yeah. That's right. So, what are we doing here?

The criminal's got to be somewhere out there.

Mr. Bunny...

Look at that gooseberry bush.

I see it, too. But don't jump to conclusions.

Follow my... (STAMMERS)

Do what I do.

(GROANS)

(PANTING) Forward roll...

(GRUNTING)

-There you go. -Over the car.

-(PANTING) -You dropped your badge back there on that last roll.

Shh! (WHISPERING) Stop messing around.

If that is the perp, then we need to box him in.

Let's split up.

That way we can take him from either side.

Here, use this radio to communicate,

and remember, (STAMMERS) follow my lead.

You see anything?

Negative. Wait. I see someone.

Don't be too hasty.

He's making a run for it. I'm going in.

He's going out of protocol...

-He's running right towards me. -Mr. Bunny!

-(BOTH SCREAM) -There's the perp!

(STRAINING)

Now, look, Mr. Bunny,

he may not have taken your tablet.

Oh, he took my tablet, all right.

Then we need a confession.

And how do we get that?

You interrog... (STAMMERS)

You ask him.

Did you take my tablet?

Not confessing. What do we do now?

The perps usually spill their guts to someone, who's being nice to them.

At HQ we call it the good cop, bad cop routine.

-What do I do? -You be the good cop.

That means, you know, be his best friend.

I will be the bad cop. The guy that he doesn't like.

It won't take too long, before he sings like...

(STAMMERS) Tells you everything you want to know.

All right, Mr. Squirrel, tell us what we want...

Don't you talk to him like that! He's just a little squirrel.

There, there.

(WHISPERS) What are you doing?

I am being the good cop. You told me to be his friend,

and I'm sticking up for my friend.

-You are being a little too good. -Look, I got an idea.

Let's try some other ones. Let's be good cop, sad cop.

Tell me, how do I mend a broken heart?

-Too much? -I'd say so.

Good cop, zombie cop. Must eat brain.

Good cop and marching band cop.

(PLAYING MARCHING BAND MUSIC)

Good cop, tire salesman cop!

Uh, how about something in a...

(STAMMERS) Whitewall?

Good cop, late night talk show guest cop.

Ten plates, folks.

Good cop, ticklish cop.

-(LAUGHING) -Talk.

Tell me what I want to know.

Good cop, snake charmer cop.

(PLAYING FLUTE)

(STAMMERS) Good cop, barrel roll cop!

BUGS: Good cop, surfer cop.

(BOTH YELLING)

Good cop, wet seltzer cop.

-Good cop, wonky pinata cop. -What?

No, thank you, good cop.

-(KNOCK ON DOOR) -Knock-knock cop?

Squeaks?

What are you doing here?

(SQUEAKING)

What do you mean you borrowed my tablet?

(SQUEAKING)

What do you mean you left a note?

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

I guess my tablet wasn't stolen after all.

I tried to warn you, Mr. Bunny.

You falsely accused that squirrel.

And now you need to make am... (STAMMERS) Make it right. What do you say, Mr. Squirrel?

How can we make it up to you?

No, not my tablet!

Sorry, Mr. Bunny. It's only fair.

(CHEERING)

When it comes to solving crimes,

I sure know how to bring home the bacon.

-(ROCK GUITAR RIFF PLAYS)- Ahhh!

What? I'm not standing on your foot this time.

I just thought that pun was ham-fisted.

(SQUEAKING)

(GRUNTS)

(MUNCHING)

Ah! What a perfectly clear day to open up the place and air everything out.

What in tarnation?

Yee-haw! Yeah, yeah! Whoo-hoo!

You're in my way, you long-eared varmint.

What do you think you are doing, Mac? This is my home.

Not anymore, it ain't. Now, it's the site of a new superhighway.

But, Doc, tons of animals live here in the forest.

You can't just build a superhighway here.

Yes, I can.

This here permit gives me the authority to destroy the forest

-and build a fancy new superhighway. -Let me see that.

"Mumble, mumble, destroy the houses...

"Mumble, mumble, superhighway...

"Signed, Yosemite Sam."

You can't sign your own permit.

Too late, I already did. I'm afraid it's my way, or the highway.

Which, in this case, is the same thing.

Now, get out of here before you get hurt, rabbit.

I've been accident-free for 99 days.

And if I make it to 5:00 today,

that number will be 100, and I get a pizza party.

And I don't need no wiseacre know-it-alls hanging around, and throwing off the numbers.

Ahhh!

(LAUGHS) Well, I won't be seeing that rabbit for a while.

I got a delivery here of Highway Headbanger Posts.

Headbanger Posts? Never heard of them. Take them back.

Okay.

-Wait, what did you say? -Headbanger Posts.

-You can't build a highway without Headbanger Posts. -(GROANING)

Is this your first highway? Please tell me this isn't your first highway.

It's my first highway.

Oh, boy. He's amateur.

(GROANS) Hold up, it just hit me.

Headbanger Posts. Imma definitely going to need those.

Okay. Where do you want them?

In here or there?

-(GROANING) -Here or there?

Or you think over there would be better?

(BABBLES) Just put them down!

Whatever you say, Mac.

Ow! My tootsies! (GROANING)

Here's your delivery of tacks.

Ow! My other tootsies! (GROANING)

-And a rake. -(GROANS)

(TSKS) What a shame.

No, no, no. I'm okay. That was no accident.

Are you sure? Because it looked like an accident.

A whole series of them, actually.

No, no accident.

I'm...

Fine.

I'm fine.

So, if I get to mile 30 by...

(LOUD DRILLING)

Oh, what is it now?

Hey, off that jackhammer...

(INAUDIBLE)

...supposed to be building...

(INAUDIBLE) ...not wrecking...

(INAUDIBLE)

Yosemite Sam... (INAUDIBLE) ...is a big...

(INAUDIBLE) ...forest, baby! (INAUDIBLE)

...who loves... (INAUDIBLE)

...crying out loud! (INAUDIBLE)

Just give me that thing, you ding-dang jackalope.

Can't hear a word I'm saying 'cause you keep turning this jackhammer on.

-What do you mean? -Here, I'll show you.

-(DRILLING) -(BABBLING)

He is right. I can't hear a word he's saying.

Oh, get back here, rabbit!

BUGS: Whee!

(LAUGHS) Dumb bunny doesn't realize I gots myself an escalator.

Uh, no, I mean an elcavator.

Oh, I gots me a giant shovel.

(LAUGHS) You can dig, but you can't hide!

Imma going to find you, rabbit.

Hey, there.

Yoo-hoo! I'm over here!

Now, I'm over here!

I'm over here!

Here! Here! Here!

SAM: That was close!

(ENGINE SPUTTERS)

SAM: Don't you dare, rabbit. Pizza party.

I got to get that rabbit out of here, or I'll never get this job done.

Come on, Sam. Use your noodle.

You gots to figure out a way to outsmart him.

I got it!

I'll trick that rabbit into sitting underneath this here pile driver.

Once he does, I'll flip the switch...

And crush him. (LAUGHS) Yee-haw!

The Carrot Garden is now open for business!

Hmm. A new carrot-themed restaurant.

Please, have a seat. Here's your menu.

I'll give you a few moments to look it over.

Pardonnez-moi, is this carrot fricassee vegetarian?

It certainly is.

Time to get this show on the road.

BUGS: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Might I exchange the Carrots Au Gratin

for a bowl of the carrot soup?

Well, there is a $2 up-charge.

Pile driver time!

BUGS: I'm ready to order!

(GROANS)

-What would you like? -I'd like to have the carrots and ice cream.

Carrots and ice cream? What's that?

It's chocolate ice cream, sprinkled with caramel-infused carrots,

resting on a layer of hot fudge,

and topped off with a dollop of whipped cream.

Hot fudge caramel whipped cream?

Well, that sounds delicious!

I want it. I want it! I want it!

Out of my way, rabbit!

I'd like an order of the carrots and ice cream.

Of course, sir. Sit right here, and I'll go prepare it for you.

And don't skimp on the hot fudge.

Make sure you pile it on real thick.

As you wish.

Can't wait for my caramel...

(GROANING)

That dish had a real impact on me.

Wait a minute, Doc. It's 5:00.

You made it to the end of the day!

Whoo-hoo! A hundred days accident-free.

I did it!

I'll be right back with your pizza party.

(CROWD CHEERING)

Balloons. Adoration. This is even nicer than I expected.

I wonder where the pizza is?

-(GROANS) -(CROWD GROANS IN DISMAY)

Sam worked so hard today I figured I'd give him one...

For the road!

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