Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Going down the rabbit hole

Where we're going no one knows

Obstacles 'round every bend

Let's see where the tunnel ends

BUGS: Got to finish up my holiday shopping.

Hello, holiday shopper.

I'm Porky, your gree, gree...

(STAMMERS) I'm here to say hi.

Well, hello, doc.

Could you kindly direct me to where I can find the Easy Cook Acorn?

Wow, everyone's been asking for that toy.

It's over at the... (STAMMERING)

(STAMMERING) Merry, um... Happy holidays!

Here it is.

What do you know, I got the last one.

Squeaks will never eat a raw acorn again.

Not so fast, rabbit!

This here's the last one.

I'm a gonna sell it online at 100 times the price.

(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)

PORKY: (OVER LOUDSPEAKER)Clean up on aisle nine... (STAMMERING)

Never mind, I'll do it.

I've always been conflicted that we sell these.

Yee-haw!

I'm a gonna be rich!

What in tarnation?

Happy holidays, bub.

Why's this stuff so sticky?

It's eggnog.

(STAMMERS) Mostly eggs.

Eggs aren't sticky.

Yeah, but... (STAMMERING) That's all yolks!

-(LAUGHS) -(GROANING)

Rabbit!

That guy's got a Scrooge loose.

(LAUGHS)

-Huh? -SAM: (LAUGHING)

(CRASHING)

(CHEERING)

Huh? Hey!

(LAUGHING)

(SCREAMS)

Uh-oh! (SCREAMS)

Come out, come out, wherever you are.

Huh.

Where'd that furry vermin go?

BUGS: Eh, right here, doc!

(GRUNTING)

(GROANING)

BUGS: Yoo-hoo!

Over here, Sam.

Eh, what's up, doc?

(GRUNTING)

-What's up, doc? -(GRUNTING)

-What's up, doc? -(THUDDING)

-What's up, doc? -(THUDDING)

-Oh, doc. -(THUDDING)

(GIGGLING)

You know, they say the camera adds 10 pounds.

But in Sam's case, they all went to his head.

(LAUGHING)

Oh, it looks good on you, though.

-Bye! -(GRUNTS)

(WESTERN INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

Huh? Oh!

Santa Claus!

I'll ask him for an Easy Cook Acorn.

-Out of my way! I wanna see Santa. -(PEOPLE GROANING)

It's my turn. All right, Santy.

I wanna tell you what I want.

-(KID SCREAMS) -Give me a train set,

a pony, some TNT, and an Easy Cook Acorn.

You know, they're the hot toy this year.

(MIMICS SANTA) Ho, ho, ho!

Tell me little boy, have you been naughty or nice this year?

Er... Uh...

Nice?

Oh, you don't sound so sure.

Now, let's just have a look-see, shall we?

Ah, let me see here.

"Yellow Pelly, Yells-a-lot, Yokididy, Yosemite Sam."

There you are. (TUTTING)

No, looks like you've been a naughty little boy this year.

(COCKS GUN)

If you don't give me my presents right now,

the halls won't be the only thing I'll be decking.

All right, doc. You win.

Your presents are over there.

Yippee!

Happy holidays! Happy holidays to me!

(BANJO PLAYING)

All right, my train set, my pony, my TN...

(TNT EXPLODING)

I need a place to hide.

Oh!

(GROANING)

Where'd that rodent get to?

-(PANTING) -Easy Cook Acorn, huh?

They'll never take me alive.

Cover me!

Eh, next year I'm doing all my shopping online.

SAM: Nice try, rabbit!

Like taking candy from a bunny.

PORKY: (STAMMERING) Potato pancakes!

(STAMMERS) Step right up, and catch your potato latkes.

Don't mind if I do.

Oh, you're gonna need a clean-up on aisle...

I'm on it.

(LAUGHS)

(GRUNTS)

-(SCREAMS) -(THUDDING)

-What the... -(GROANING)

Huh?

Oh, for the love of pearl! My Easy Cook Acorn.

(GRUNTING)

Oh, brother. This guy's been stalking me all day.

It's time to sock it to him.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

SAM: (GRUNTS)

I really gave him the boot.

(GRUNTS) What the...

Huh?

Well, I think that's a wrap.

-(SCREAMS) -(THUD)

Phew! That was tough, but worth it.

I got the very last Easy Cook Acorn...

I say, I say I got 5,000 Easy Cook Acorns here.

The, I say, these things are hotter than jalapenos in a hot tub, son.

I say, where do you want them?

Right over by the... (STAMMERING) Just drop them off at the loading dock.

(UPBEAT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

-(BELLS JINGLING) -(GASPS)

Yeah!

Hey.

You're not a Tickle-me-barbarian.

My guess is you were naughty this year.

(SQUEAKING)

You finished your letter to Santa, huh?

(SQUEAKING)

You saw Santa, here in the forest?

(SQUEAKING)

Come, Krakos. We have much to steal and pillage.

Like this boulder.

(GRUNTING)

-(EXCLAIMS) -(SQUEAKING)

Who're you?

(SQUEAKING)

Whoa! Oh, ho, ho, ho!

(SQUEAKING)

Ho, ho, ho?

(SQUEAKING)

Uh...

Yikes!

(SQUEAKING)

(WHISPERS) Squeaks, that's not Santa Claus.

(SQUEAKING)

Fine, fine. I take it. I take it.

(SQUEAKING)

Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.

(SQUEAKING)

(SQUEAKS GIGGLING)

(SQUEAKING)

Uh-oh. This isn't good.

If that letter doesn't get to the real Santa, Squeaks will be crushed.

I have to get that letter back.

What is this? Is coupon, is treasure map, a very thin baklava?

(CRUNCHING)

Ugh, so dry.

Maybe tissue.

Oh, well.

I take, so I keep.

(GROANS) Hey!

Give back my pal's letter.

Letter? Is that what this is?

Give it back, or I have another snowball with your name on it.

Ha. That was no snowball.

This is snowball.

Yikes! (GROANING)

(CRASHING)

Barbarian is so uncivilized.

Hurry up, Krakos. We still have much to taste before nightfall.

Barby wants to play, huh?

This ought to do the trick.

Got to line it up just right.

-(TREMORS) -Whoa.

How's that for a snowball?

-(LAUGHING) Rabbit. I do the taking. -(GRUNTING)

-That letter is mine. -Oh, yeah?

-Yeah. -(SCREAMING)

-I rung his bell, no? -(GROWLING)

-(BELL CHIMING) -BUGS: Ringing the bell.

Ringing the bell for donations.

Won't you be able to donate a little something for the holidays?

Spare change, letters to Santa.

I don't give, I take.

-I was counting on that. -(SNAPPING)

(SCREAMING)

(LAUGHING)

Go and find him, you dumb bear. (GRUNTS)

(GROWLING)

(SCOFFS)

(SNIFFING)

(GRUNTS)

(BOPS NOSE)

-(WHISTLES) -(PANTING)

(GROWLING)

-Huh? No... -(KRAKOS EXCLAIMING)

(CRASHING)

(GIGGLING) Hello, mastodon.

Huh, who are you, fancy lady?

I'm Christmas Carol.

Would you care to hear a holiday classic?

Do you know the one, filled with false and unrealistic expectations?

(VOCALIZING)

That's it. (CHUCKLES)

Squeaks had a letter You took the letter

(GROANS)

So I took the letter Now you have no letter

You're such a pro At being slow

Why don't you go Sit in the snow

- I took the letter - You should know better

- Give me the letter - No I will never

Letter, letter, letter Letter, letter

You will never ever Get the letter

Why do you keep Hitting yourself?

Gah, okay, I'll stop

Wait, just one more

Ding, dong, ding

Dong

(GROANS)

Bong

What a ding-dong.

(THUD)

(SHOUTS)

(GRUNTING)

Oh, fresh. Shall we dance?

(SCREAMING) Whoa!

What a Neanderthal.

I might be down, but I'm not out.

-I take. -What the...

Ha-ha.

Pretty fast for a big guy, no?

(SNIFFS) Mmm, something smells good.

Get your hotdogs here. Get your hotdogs.

(CHUCKLES) One, please.

Ah, would you look at that?

I have no paper left to wrap them up.

You wouldn't happen to have some on you, would you?

A newspaper, or, an envelope, perhaps?

-Like this? -That will do.

Wait a second.

You! Rabbit, no more tricks.

Like this old chestnut.

Oh. (SCREAMING)

This ends now, rabbit. (GRUNTING)

I wouldn't do that, if I were you.

Oh, yeah. Why not?

Because you're on thin ice, doc.

Er, oh.

Huh, huh. (SCREAMING)

Turkish delight!

Oh, don't you know that around the holidays,

it's better to give than to receive.

(LAUGHING)

There we go. That's Squeaks'.

A letter to Santa. Isn't that cute?

-SANTA: Ho ho ho! -(GASPS)

Ho ho ho ho!

If you'll excuse me, I have a letter to write.

(MEN VOCALIZING)

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