Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Going down the rabbit hole

Where we're going no one knows

Obstacles 'round every bend

Let's see where the tunnel ends

(YAWNING)

Not today, Doc.

-(TRUMPET BLOWS) -Hello, fair rabbit!

It is I, Sir Littlechin.

Might you assist me in capturing the Hooded Bear of the Northern Fjords?

Uh, no thanks.

(HUMMING)

I'll be needing that foot, rabbit,

and I'll be needing it now.

You've gotta be kidding me. What's next?

I take this forest as my own!

Oh, well. No use fighting fighting.

Let's do this!

(GROWLING)

Tally-ho.

Rabbit!

(GRUNTING)

Huh? Wait, what's going on here?

I wasn't paying attention.

Hey, lady, wanna play patty cake?

Not now, Bigfoot. I sorta got my hands full!

(ALL GROWLING)

Uh, how about now?

(EXCLAIMING)

SHAMELESS: Soda bread!

-Gotcha, rabbit! -Tally-ho!

BARBARIAN: I crush you!

(BARBARIAN GRUNTING)

Oh, Danny Boy

The pipes, the pipes are calling

I can't keep this up forever.

Hey, Littlechin! Wanna hunt a leprechaun?

What?

Tally-ho, a leprechaun!

-(BUGS GIGGLING) -(GRIM RABBIT GROWLING)

(SCREAMS)

Let's make this a little more interesting.

BUGS: Hey, Doc. GRIM RABBIT: Huh?

My name isn't even on this list.

Hmm.

(SHAMELESS YELLING)

Get back here, you forest sprite!

LITTLECHIN: Tally-ho! Oh! My bloomers!

-Huh? -Those lucky rabbit's feet be mine.

You mind if I play a little leg-severing music while you work?

-(CELTIC MUSIC PLAYING) -Oh, whatever you want, rabbit. Blimey!

Me foot! Oh, oh, oh!

I can't resist the sound of me homeland!

I'm coming, Mama!

I'm coming! (SCREAMS)

-(GROWLING) -Yikes!

Lady! Now can we play patty cake?

SHAMELESS: Oi!

(SLURPING)

Not now, Bigfoot!

-Later! -(GRUNTING)

(SHAMELESS YELLING)

What the? Now, this will bring me ten times the luck of a wee rabbit's foot!

-(GRUNTING) -Whee!

BUGS: Bigfoot!

-Coming, lady! -(SQUISHING)

(GRIM RABBIT GROWLING)

(GROANING) Me back!

Patrick Stewart's potato salad!

An immortal, magical rabbit's foot.

This would have me set for life! La-dee... (SCREAMS)

Rabbit!

Enough jesting about!

You must help me find the Hooded Bear!

Once I've tagged this beast...

BIGFOOT: Oh, we love to play tag!

-(CLANGING) -(LITTLECHIN YELLING)

You're it!

(SLURRING) I love a Gingham summer dress,

but the spaghetti straps make me look fat.

That's three down, just one more to go.

-Now, I just gotta... -Play patty cake?

-No, Bigfoot, not now! -Okay.

(YELLING)

(GRUNTING)

(CHOMPING NOISILY)

-(SPITS) -(BUGS SCREAMS)

(BUGS GRUNTS)

Look, the only way any of us are getting out of here

is if we defeat the Barbarian together.

What say you, reaper of rabbits?

-Mmm-hmm. -SHAMELESS: Fine!

Let's do this.

-(ALL EXCLAIMING) -(BARBARIAN GRUNTING)

Finally where I belong!

Here we come, haggis head!

Release the Krakos!

(ALL SCREAMING)

No, no, no! No, no, no, no!

(CRASHING)

(ALL GRUNTING AND EXCLAIMING)

Hey! It's him.

The Great White Hooded Bear of the Northern Fjords!

A-ha! Oh!

Up for a little bare-knuckle boxing, are we?

Oh, no! I can hardly "bear" it.

(SLURRING) It's just an Ursa Minor scratch.

Things are getting grizzly.

Is that koala you got?

(GROANING)

Keep it up, Littlechin! You're wearing him out!

(BARBARIAN LAUGHING)

You thought you could defeat me?

You need someone much bigger and stronger than you if you hope to take me down!

Bigfoot!

That's my name, don't wear it out.

I wanna play patty cake now!

(GROWLING)

BIGFOOT: Patty cake!

Patty cake, patty cake Baker's man

Bake me a cake as fast as you can!

Hey, Bigfoot, I have a new game for you to play.

All you have to do is put everyone here in a sack.

I love putting things in sacks!

-Wait, what? No! -(GIGGLING)

No sack!

(ALL GROANING AND MUMBLING)

In you go! All done. Now what?

Now you gotta beat the lumps out.

(ALL GRUNTING)

Whoo-hoo!

Now, you just gotta toss the sack into the woods,

and you win!

No, I won't.

You said I have to put everyone in the sack,

but you're not in here yet.

Yipe!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(CRASHING)

Okay. Come back now!

BIGFOOT: Lady?

(KNOCKING)

-(GRUMBLING) -(KNOCKING CONTINUES)

Oh, for crying out loud! He's not at home, tree rat.

Take the hint and beat it.

Ah!

(SIGHS)

Finally, some peace and quiet.

(SQUEAKING)

I finally get some rest and relaxation in my own front yard,

and I am not about to let Bugs' pesky partner in crime ruin my plan!

(SCREAMING)

(SQUEAKING)

(SQUEAKING ANGRILY)

Ah! Hmm.

(CACKLING)

(SQUEAKS WHIMPERING)

-(WHIMPERING GROWING LOUDER) -What is it now?

(SQUEAKS GROANING)

Oh, no. I'm not falling for your ruse, hairball.

Oh, dear.

Bugs would be incorrigible if I let something happen to his cantankerous compatriot.

Are you okay, faker?

Are you playing possum, possum?

(COUGHING FEEBLY)

Oh, no! Seems I really hurt the little gerbil.

Ah, but don't worry.

I'll have you up and annoyingly annoying in no time.

First things first.

You're going to need some bed rest.

Allow me to introduce you to my numerical adjustable bed.

Trademark pending.

Here, allow me to demonstrate.

This easy-to-use controller allows this beauty to adapt in any way you require.

Number one will raise your head,

number eight will raise your feet.

Over 200 numerical combinations

guaranteed to raise your spirits!

And, if the customer orders now,

they'll get an upgrade that includes the pillow plumper!

(WILE CHUCKLING)

Here, give it a whirl.

-(BEEPING) -(WILE GRUNTING)

-(WILE GRUNTING) -(CONTROLLER BEEPING)

(CLANKING)

(MOANS)

(SLURRING) The bed just did a number on me.

And I just did a number in the bed.

(LAUGHING)

(SQUEAKING)

Okay, I think what you need most now is rest.

But should you need anything,

anything at all, just blow this horn.

(HORN BLOWING)

Yes?

You want me to elevate your feet? But you're holding the controller, I mean you...

(SQUEAKING)

(LAUGHING) Never mind.

There.

(HORN BLOWING)

(ANGRILY) What is it now?

I mean... Yes?

(SQUEAKING)

A glass of water?

I guess that's reasonable.

Here you go.

(SQUEAKING)

A straw? Why you...

(SQUEAKING)

(GROWLING)

Coming right up.

One water with straw.

(SQUEAKING)

A bendy straw?

-You want a bendy straw? -Uh-huh.

Oh, I'll give you a bendy straw.

Ta da!

Hmm. (SQUEAKS)

(MUTTERING)

(HORN BLOWING)

You know what? Let's give the horn a rest.

(WHINING)

You're hungry? I have just the thing.

Bicarbonate of soda, monoglutamate five,

rice starch, a drop of antihistamine,

an ounce of quinoa, a dram of bounce back-a-tude,

and voila!

(MANIACAL LAUGHTER)

I just whipped up a batch of Wile E. Coyote's

aches and pains sure-fire fever and cold cure-all.

This little concoction has been in my family for, oh, fifteen seconds now.

One dose of this potent potion and you'll be fixed in no time.

Ew! No, no, no, no.

If you don't want to drink this healing elixir, I will.

Uh, to my health.

(GULPING)

(EXCLAIMS)

Next time, lighter on the cyclamate.

(GRUNTING) And maybe eliminate the caffeine?

(GRUMBLING INCOHERENTLY)

And maybe cut back on the glucose!

(SCREAMS)

Definitely lighter on the cyclamate.

BUGS: There were four in the bed and the little one said

roll over roll over

-Oh, no! Bugs is back! -Whoo-hoo!

(SQUEAKING EXCITEDLY)

Well, at least one of us is feeling better.

Wait! Don't tell on me, please!

Uh-oh.

- And one fell out there were two in the bed

-(SQUEAKING URGENTLY)

-Oh, hiya, Squeaks. -(HORN BLOWING)

-What's that all about? -(SQUEAKING)

Ah, Squeaks.

Answering the call from a friend in need.

Your willingness to nurse me back to health moves me deeply.

-(CONTROLLER CLICKS) -Uh-oh.

-(WILE YELLING) -(BED SLAMMING)

Going down the rabbit hole

Where we're going no one knows

Obstacles 'round every bend

Let's see where the tunnel ends

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