Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Going down the rabbit hole

Where we're going no one knows

Obstacles 'round every bend

Let's see where the tunnel ends

BUGS: Oh, come on! I want those Carrot Chips!

(VENDING MACHINE WHIRRING)

Sheesh! This machine keeps giving my greenback back.

The smart thing to do would be just to walk away.

-(VENDING MACHINE WHIRRING) -Finally made it to Cairo!

Once I discover the long lost medallion to the Pharaoh,

everyone will know the name, Yosemite Sam!

First, I'll need to find a lackey.

BUGS: I can do this all day if you can.

(LAUGHS) It's like taking a fish from a baby.

I can't believe I've been at this for over an hour.

Well, howdy, partner? How would like to join me,

a world famous adventurer on an expedition?

-No thanks. I'm in the middle of something important. -(WHIP LASHES)

I wasn't asking, you pea-brain pariah.

-By the way, I'll take that dollar. -Hey!

-Here we are... -(BUGS PANTING)

...at the lost temple of King Nothing-in-Common.

Oh, here. Let me help you with that.

-(GRUNTING) -Just put the rest of that stuff anywhere.

-(BUGS GROANING) -Come on, rabbit.

We're a-burning daylight.

Never trust a cowboy with a get-rich quick scheme.

SAM: Sure is powerful dark in here.

BUGS: Yeah, and I think I feel something crawling on my back.

I, I better turn on the lights.

Hey there, little fella. Off you go.

SAM: Are there any spiders on me?

Nah, you're good.

All right, rabbit. You're-a gonna get me through all the temple trails,

so that I can get my medallion.

First stop, the Chamber of Forbidden Football.

Legend has it that each room is riddled with booby traps.

So, you first, rabbit.

All right, Doc, no need to get so pushy.

Hurry, scurry had a worry,

no one like a chicken curry.

Stuck a finger in the pot,

chicken curry way too hot.

(LAUGHS) Hey, I did it. Now you try.

Uh, all right. Hurry, scurry...

Had a worry...

Mary had a little lamb...

His porridge in the pot...

-Little Jack Horner sat... -Ooh!

-Hickory-dickory-dock... -(THUDDING)

I don't see what was so fun about that.

You weren't kiddin', Doc.

This place is rife with treachery.

Why do you think I dragged you along?

I'll give you a hint, it wasn't for the company. (LAUGHS)

-(ROCK SCRAPING) -Uh-oh!

Run for your life!

Cris avoided.

I'm no rocket surgeon, but that doesn't seem physically possible.

What do you think them hieroglyphics say?

They say, "In order to enter the Pharaoh's tomb,

"you must cross the chamber of noxious doom."

I've gone first the last few times, so...

Not a chance, you dim-witted donkey.

Time for you to face the fire.

I like it. It's all in the timing. Now watch me.

One, two, three...

Jump, land, duck, roll.

Jump through the hoop, land, jump,

drop, roll, one, two, three...

Jump, duck, land and voila!

Got it, Sam? Simple, right?

(FLAMES BLAZING)

(GROANS) Who am I kidding?

Well, there she is.

The cursed coin of We-Have-Nothing-in-Common.

BUGS: Cursed? You never said it was cursed.

What difference does it make? It's gonna make me rich and famous.

Well, fair enough, Doc. I know how this goes, me first again.

Hold it right there, rabbit!

I didn't come this far so as you could steal my treasure.

Dumb bunny probably spend it all on carrot chips or something.

My Confederate penny. These things are worthless now, but he don't know that.

(SHUDDERING)

Phew! Tense, wasn't it?

(RATTLING)

Wait, Pharaoh Faucet!

(GRUFF VOICE) You have desecrated a... (COUGHS)

(NORMAL VOICE) The spirit of We-Have-Nothing-in-Common.

-(GROWLS) -What?

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMING) The curse is true!

Hey, my carrot!

SAM: Hey, don't leave me behind.

-(GROWLING) -My coin!

The treasure!

(SAM SCREAMING)

Well, I guess I won't be hearing from him anytime soon.

Hey! Would you look at that?

It's that same vending machine.

Well, I do have that funny-looking coin from that temple.

I'll give this a shot.

(VENDING MACHINE WHIRRING)

What? Come on! (GRUNTING)

Oh! Sam was right!

(SOBBING)

This coin is cursed!

-(CARROT CHIPS FALLS) -Huh?

Maybe I was wrong...

(GLASS SHATTERS)

(CAWING)

Ah! Another beautiful day. (YAWNS)

Huh?

What the... Whoa!

Well, this is a foist.

My newspaper is delivering me.

(MACHINERY WHIRRING)

(CAMERAS CLICKING)

(SCREAMS)

(COUGHS)

MALE AUTOMATED VOICE:Welcome, Bugs Bunny,

to the home of Wile E. Coyote.

-(MACHINE BEEPING)-Please place your paw on the screen...

...and Wile E. Coyote will be notified.

Oh, Bugs! What a pleasant surprise.

Allow me to introduce my acme smart house.

This house is fully automated.

I programmed it to perform every menial task you can think of,

so I don't have to lift a finger.

Follow me, ferret.

I do believe you'll be blown away.

Ew! You ain't kiddin'.

Smart Flooring, Smart Thermostat, Smart Lighter Rays,

Smart Escalators, Smart Carpet Cleaners, Smart Sound Systems,

Smart Baby Changers, Smart Pillow Fluffers,

Smart PB and J Spreader!

Oh, Smart kitchen, we have a guest.

Stroopwafel.

Mmm!

This just doesn't seem... (GULPS) ...very healthy to me.

Healthy-smealthy, I don't have to take care of myself.

My Smart House does it for me.

Does it trim your toe nails too?

Oh, does it ever!

The Claw-Be-Gone 8000, patent pending,

runs off the unique 80 HD retroblading current in this very house.

-I just plug it in. -(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

-(POWER TURNS OFF) -(CLATTERING)

No! I succumb to the force of gravity

and I can't regain my equilibrium.

Looks like your Not-So-Smart-House let you down.

-Now let me give you a hand. -(GRUNTING)

-What happened? -I don't know, the power's out.

What? (SHIVERING) I'm cold, I'm hungry.

I'm terrified!

What good is technology without electricity?

Don't worry, Wile E. I'll help you get through this.

I'll make you a nice cup of Joe that'll calm you down.

No, no, I'll do it. I'm not a complete nincompoop.

Eh, it's really no trouble.

I prefer my coffee free of hair.

Now, Hot-whippy, let's see.

I'll have a double espresso- half soy-gluten-free, pumpkin-spiced latte.

Hold the whip, please.

(GROANING ANGRILY)

(PANTS)

If you're thirsty, have this water.

Ah! Delicious.

A spectacular bouquet. Is it mineral water?

Au contraire, it's eau de toilette.

Most folks don't know, you can use the water when your pipe's for emergency.

-(COUGHING) -What? I'm trying to help here.

I just can't function without electricity.

Nothing is turned on! I need buttons to press.

Screens to watch, electronic stimulation.

-(SOBBING) -Well, I don't know about that.

But maybe a little old-fashioned entertainment

will keep your mind off things.

-Entertainment? -Yeah, like charades.

-No... Na-uh. -Ski ball?

-Boggle? -How childish.

-Hide and Seek? -Really?

Chess?

Ah! Chess! The ultimate game of strategy.

A tool of wits in its most primal form.

There will be no internet search to help you strategize.

No downloadable app at your disposal.

Where one's ability to use their intellect to overpower

and outlast their opponent

is at once a dazzling show of wisdom

and a display of clever foresight.

-Checkmate. -But...

Did you... (GRUNTING)

-(STOMACH GRUMBLING) -I'm famished.

Let me guess.

BOTH: Automated.

Wait! (SNIFFING) Do you smell that?

I smell something, something tasty.

It's over here. No, wait. It's over there.

-Ah, another piece of Camembert, Birdie? -Sure, sure.

(SCREAMS)

A-ha! Looks like I got ya!

(WINCING) I never thought I'd actually have to do this.

(SCREAMS) Ow!

WILE: Get him!

I'm starving. I could eat a... Wait...

You're free range and organically grown, aren't you?

No, no, no, hold on, bub. I don't like where you're going with this.

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

You... (GULPS) You okay, Wile E.?

(HOWLS)

(GRUNTING)

BUGS: It's getting a littleCoyote Ugly in here.

(WILE GRUNTING)

-Wile E, you might wanna save some of your energy. -Huh?

-Grab on! My arms! -(STRUGGLING)

Not my gloves!

(GRUNTING)

Are you okay?

Don't worry about me.

I only broke my insides.

Hey, I found your problem. It's just a circuit breakout.

Well, always happy to help.

You know, this so-called Smart House is kind of a mess.

This place could use some good old-fashioned elbow grease.

(GASPS) My Smart House!

It's completely ruined!

-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) -What good is electricity without technology?

I don't know about Smart Houses,

but what we really need, a smarter coyote.

Going down the rabbit hole

Where we're going no one knows

Obstacles 'round every bend

Let's see where the tunnel ends

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