Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Going down the rabbit hole

Where we're going no one knows

Obstacles 'round every bend

Let's see where the tunnel ends

There's nothing like a warm sheet, fresh from the drier.

(SIGHS)

I'll be dead asleep in no time.

(SNORING)

(EXCLAIMING)

Hey!

What are you supposed to be?

(VOCALIZES)

Give me my sheet back.

-Huh. -(VOCALIZES)

Okay ghost. So that's how it's gonna be.

I'm gonna haunt you down!

Give me my sheet!

Not so fast!

Thank goodness for two-ply.

Okay! Come on!

Get back here!

That's 2000 thread count Egyptian cotton!

BUGS: Where'd you go?

I have had my fun of you, specter.

Ha! Ha!

Time for you to get what for!

Take that and that and that!

And this and that and that and that and that!

And that!

Do you like that?

You glorified poltergeist!

(WHEEZING)

I'd really be freaked out now if I actually believed in ghosts.

(YELPS)

Oh! No you don't!

(GRUNTING)

BUGS: Hey! Who turned out the lights?

(VOCALIZES)

A-ha!

Gotcha!

Argh!

Open up!

Huh!

Can we iron out our differences?

Open up.

Come out, come out. Wherever you are!

Mommy!

Hmm.

Stop it!

Nobody possesses Bugs Bunny's guest house.

(GRUNTING)

(GULPING)

You're drinking straight from the carton?

That's the last straw!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Wow, wow, wow, wow! That tears it!

Look what you've done now!

Look pal, maybe we got off on the wrong foot here.

I mean there's no reason why the two of can't get...

(TOILET FLUSHING)

-Are you ready? -Uh-huh.

Are you sure?

-Uh-huh. -Now, what's this all really about?

(MUMBLING)

I can't understand a word you're saying.

Hold on one second.

How can I be a ghost without a sheet?

You need a costume?

That's what you're all grave about?

Well, I can't scare people if they can't see me!

Why didn't you say so?

I can make you a super scary costume.

Now, follow me.

Okay, first things first.

Am I scary?

Oh, yeah. People hate alarm clocks.

-BUGS: And this. -(CHOKING)

And this.

How do I look now?

(GASPS) I can hardly stand to be in the same room with you.

But we are not finished yet.

BUGS: This. And one of these.

Some of these.

And the piece de resistance.

Voila!

You are the creepiest, scariest ghost I've ever seen!

Really? Do I look like a vision of the other world?

Oh, you look otherworldly. That's for sure.

Try to scare me.

(VOCALIZES)

Yeah! Try something scarier.

Like happy birthday.

(VOCALIZES) Happy birthday!

Ahh! Oh, man! That's terrifying!

Now get out there and scare some people.

If I were you, I'd start right next door.

(SIGH) Man!

I thought I'd never get rid of that dead weight.

(THUNDER BREAKING)

(DOOR CREAKS)

(VOCALIZES) Happy birthday!

(VOCALIZES) Happy birthday!

(WILE SCREAMING)

(WHISPERING) Happy birthday!

Porky recommended it.

He says the characters are compelling.

And whilst the plot is somewhat derivative at first,

it wildly builds to a feverish pace,

then turns the whole thing into a riveting affair.

Episode one.

(TV SHOW THEME PLAYING)

Wow!

Porky, you weren't kidding. That was amazing!

Must watch episode two!

(TV SHOW THEME PLAYING)

Porky, curse you!

I can't leave the TV!

Must watch season 14!

-(SIGHS) -(TV SHOW THEME PLAYING)

Ah!

What a satisfying conclusion to season 57.

You could almost end the show there.

Okay, on to season 58.

-TERRY: I don't know. -Huh?

If you ask me, it kinda

jumped the shark back on S36, E12.

Hey! What's the big idea?

-Who are you? -Oh, uh. (CHUCKLES)

I'm a Dust Bunny, name's Terry.

How are ya?

Dust? But where'd you come from?

Well, you have to admit,

you kind of let the place go.

Listen, you gotta scram!

I'm a genuine germophobe.

Hey! I'm not going nowhere!

This is my place now, and there ain't nothing you can do about it!

Oh, yeah?

Get out of my house!

Why you little... I'll teach you to dirty up my place!

Bringing your dust all over, sitting on my sofa.

Well, that ought to be the end of that.

(SCREAMING)

Oh, hello!

You've really put yourself together.

(STAMMERING) I mean, you clean up nice.

Although, uh, you got a little something on your face.

-Right there. -I do?

Go like this.

-Uh, did I get it? -Nope, go like this.

-Better? -More like this.

Now go like this.

-(LAUGHING) -(SWING MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey! (SCREAMING)

Give me that!

Let's see how you like being swept out of the house!

I think it's time to bust this dust!

MAN ON TV: Up next, compulsive cleaning!

(LAUGHS)

This hoarder has a house full of hamsters!

-(DOOR BELL RINGS) -Huh? Aw!

What?

Bugsy Haze here with a question for ya.

-Huh? -Is your household cleaner tough on germs?

And judging by this place, apparently not.

Uh... (CHUCKLES) Yeah.

Well, I'm here to talk about Moxy-Clean.

The household product that's more than just a cleaner.

It's a sanitizer. It's a deodorizer.

It's a salad dressing.

-Mmm. -That's not all.

It slices. It dices.

It breaks down the dirt at the molecular level

and blasts dark carbons and pollutants so you don't have to.

It cleans 99% of household dust.

Oh, come on now.

You just name it, Moxy-Clean will tame it.

Oh, yeah? Really? I bet it couldn't tame me!

Well, I don't know. I mean, we never really actually...

Come on big talker!

Let's see if you could take this dirt ball down!

All right doc, you asked for it.

Just my luck. This guy is the 1%.

(SCREAMING)

-Howdy Terry? -Hey good lookin'.

Wait a minute. You two know each other?

Sure. He and I used to hide under your bed.

Uh, forget I asked.

ALL: Hiya fellas!

-(BUGS SCREAMING) -Let's get him!

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

(BUGS SCREAMING)

I believe it was Shakespeare who said,

"It will hath put a spirit of youth in everything."

(CONTINUES SCREAMING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(WIND WHOOSHING)

(SHEEP BLEATING)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

My leaves!

My branches!

My life-long desire to dance in the Russian ballet!

We're never gonna catch him like this!

We've gotta pull together and work as one.

(ALL INHALING DEEPLY)

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

(GROWLING)

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROWLING)

Hey! Now that's what I call clean.

-(GASPS) -(PANTING)

(SIGHS)

It was just a dream.

Better safe than sorry.

TERRY: I couldn't disagree with you more.

(GASPS)

(GROWLING)

Going down the rabbit hole

Where we're going no one knows

Obstacles 'round every bend

Let's see where the tunnel ends

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