Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Going down the rabbit hole

Where we're going no one knows

Obstacles 'round every bend

Let's see where the tunnel ends

(PLAYERS GRUNTING)

(SQUEAKS EXCLAIMS)

-Ugh! -(DOG BARKING)

All right, all right. I'm comin'.

(BARKING)

(PANTING)

Lookin' for this?

(BARKING)

(BARKING)

(WHEELS SQUEAKING)

Well, that's that. Come on, let's get back to the game.

(BARKING)

(WHEELS SQUEAKING)

All right, fellas. One at a time.

You know I hate dog piles.

BUGS: Wait, no!

Someone needs a breath mint.

Okay, guys.

BUGS: (YELLING) Leave me alone!

(WHIP CRACKING)

-Shelby, get over here! -(WHIMPERING)

Oh, great, an animal lover.

Ready. Set. Chomp!

(GROWLING)

-(EXCLAIMS) -(SQUEAKING)

(PANTING) Wait.

This is my spot. Go on, go on.

-(SQUEAKING) -(GROWLING)

(GROWLING)

(SQUEAKING)

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

(HUMMING)

My friend's tail.

-Huh, there you go. -(SQUEAKING)

Uh, excuse me, but

(YELLING) just who do you think you are?

You're rather tall, that's who.

Hey, listen, skinny. They call me...

-Ted? Bill? -No. Nope.

-Michael? -No.

-Ugly Stick McGee? -Uh-uh.

-Smelly Belly Mossy? -Really?

-Lefarticus? -No.

-Jack? -Yeah!

Yeah, they call me Jack.

Oh! Well, nice to meet you, Jack.

-Bye now. -Okay, bye!

Hey, before you make any more joke-jokes,

I'll let you in on something.

I don't like rabbits!

(STRAINING) I sense that.

-Good! -(GRUNTS)

No one messes with Jack the Dog Trainer!

-(EXCLAIMS) -(WHIMPERING)

-More like Jack the Whipper. -(SQUEAKING)

Listen, I train dogs and I train 'em to chomp!

And you're next, rabbit!

Ready. Set...

42, 14, half a dozen, square root. Ah...

Whoa, Shelby, not so high!

52, are you ready, Squeaks? Let's do it.

Size 12, 67, hike!

(YELPING)

(SINGING)

JACK: (YELPING)

JACK: (GROANING)

Hmm, how about that?

(SQUEALING)

(GROANING)

(GROWLING)

(SNORING)

Whoo-hoo! Touchdown wins the game!

-And you get the game ball, kid. -(GROANS)

(GAGGING)

(PANTING)

Hey!

(WHIMPERS)

Ready. Set. Chomp!

(YELPING)

-(GROWLING) -(EXCLAIMING)

Shelby!

You are a bad dog, Shelby.

Bad dog!

You're completely useless.

You call yourself an attack dog?

You're no dog of mine.

I disown you! I never want to see you again.

So, that's how he wants it, huh?

Squeaks, you ready?

(SQUEAKING)

Howdy, folks!

Sal Whoofington of Sal Whoofington Kennel.

-The best used dogs in the Southwest. -(SQUEAKS)

If you're lookin' to trade for a newer model,

then look no further, as Sal Whoofington's got

acres and acres of new breeds for you.

(BARKS)

Hey, is your current model not as reliable as she used to be?

-Mmm-hmm. -Then why not try a fancy breed?

-Give me a fair price. -Mmm-mmm.

-Weiner dog? They're really hot. -(SQUEAKS)

-How 'bout a slightly used boxer? -(GROANS IN DISGUST)

A Rottweiler hatchback, late model Doberman?

-How about a pit bull? -A pit bull?

-Now you're talking. -Okay. Squeaks.

Here. Just sign on the dotten line.

(GROUND RUMBLING)

-(SNORTS) -That's a pit bull?

Well, it's a pit bull, all right.

Not a lot of pit and that ain't no bull. You follow?

Here. Take her on a test run.

-What... What? -(WHIPPING)

-(GRUNTING) -(EXCLAIMING)

Test drive it for nine days. Tell me what you think.

Y'all come back now, you hear?

-(LOWING) -(GRUNTS)

-(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY) -(BELLOWING)

-(BOTH LAUGHING) -Another satisfied customer.

Oh, hey, Shelby. Just one.

Come on. We could still catch the fourth quarter.

(SQUISHING)

(SHUDDERS) I hate dog piles.

(BARKING)

(BUGS SNORING)

(LOUD CAWING OUTSIDE)

Bird dream. I hate those.

It was... (SNORING)

(LOUD SQUAWKING)

Hey, birdboy. Keep it down!

I'm trying to sleep over here.

(SMACKING LIPS)

(YAWNING)

(SNORING)

Chickadee nests in the old gum tree

Beautiful queen of my heart is she

I love Chickadee I love Chickadee

Eh, you quack for me

Sorry about that.

(HARMONICA PLAYING)

(SPITTING)

(PLAYING)

-(BEATBOXING) -Now. No, no, no beatboxing.

What is your problem?

You don't get it, man.

I gotta get my Chickadee back.

Can't you just come back in the morning?

No, I'm nocturnal. That's just how I roll.

Then the only way I'm gonna get some sleep

is if I help you get the girlfriend back?

(GASPS) You'd do that for me? Really?

(CHUCKLES) What a nice gesture!

Zip it, Romeo. Where does the girl live?

What?

You know that bird brain?

Yeah, he's my ex-boyfriend. So what!

Would you please just take him back so I can get some sleep?

No! He's annoying and loud. Beat it!

Come, baby. Give me another shot.

(CAWING)

Harsh. Nice shot, though.

You can keep him!

He never brings me worms

and he does this thing with his feathers. Ugh!

If I could just get rid of this guy.

(GRUNTS) She's dreamy, ain't she?

Yeah, nice kid. Shy.

So, what did she say?

Does she miss me? Does she still love me?

Does she wanna get back together?

Well, she dropped a plant on you, so...

Yeah, a geranium.

My favorite flower.

Time to give her the full plumage.

(CAWING)

Girls love guys with big feathers, right, huh?

(CAWING)

(GROANING)

I'm definitely making progress.

This ain't getting into his little bird brain.

And now for the big finish.

(CAWING)

(CONTINUES CAWING)

Shake your tail feathers.

(CAWING)

Have you thought about dating a pigeon?

(GRUNTS) Pigeons are just rats with wings.

Hey, some of my best friends are rats.

Wait, is Squeaks a rat?

(SIGHS) I just need to show her I'm bird enough for her.

-Hmph. -Well, it looks like it's up to me.

You wanna show her you're worthy?

-Yeah. -Do some pushups.

Yeah. Yeah, sure.

(GRUNTING)

This is hard to do with wings, you know?

(GRUNTS)

Feh!

Okay, you caught her attention.

Now, we got to show her how brave you are.

But how?

-Uh, you see that creepy cottage over there? -(WOLF HOWLING)

I dare you to knock on that door.

Yeah, yeah. Creepy cottage.

I got this.

GRANDMA: Come in.

Oh, dear. You're not that cat food delivery man.

He's four days late.

(CATS HISSING)

(MEOWING)

(BOYD SCREAMING)

I'm sure he's fine.

Be honest, is there a cat on my tail?

-BOYD: So, what's next? -Let's see...

Strong, brave,

but she's also got to see you're a good provider.

(SNAPS) I got it! Bring her a worm.

But not just any worm...

The biggest worm you can find.

Yeah, great idea. You got it.

(YAWNING)

Ah!

Peace and quiet.

(BOYD SQUAWKING)

-(CAWING) -(BURPING)

Yikes, nice guy.

Not so good at finding worms.

(GASPS) He did that for me?

What can I say, he was a lovebird.

(CAWING)

Oh, darling.

-Oh, baby. -Told ya!

I missed you so much.

Oh, true love. It's so beautiful.

(YAWNING) I got to get some sleep.

(SNIFFS)

(LOUD CAWING AND MUSIC PLAYING)

What now?

It's our wedding song.

We want you to be the best man!

Fine. But I ain't comin' on the honeymoon.

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