Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Going down the rabbit hole

Where we're going no one knows

Obstacles 'round every bend

Let's see where the tunnel ends

BUGS: Oh, boy! Washington, D.C.

Our nation's capital.

Hey, the White House carrot garden.

Just in time for the grand opening.

Oh, just a couple of selfies for my blog.

Sheesh. Can't see nothing.

I need a better view.

Bingo!

Oh, this is ridiculous!

I'm the Vice President of the United States.

What am I doing cleaning up after the First Dog?

If only I could find a way to prove to the President

that I'm a valuable asset.

And... Ooh!

(GASPS) What's this? An intruder!

I can see the headlines now.

"Vice President Rids White House of Intrusive Rodent.

"President Steps Down."

(BARKS) Clean up after yourself, you mutt.

(WHIMPERING)

Hey, excuse me. Uh, would you mind handing that phone back to me?

Why not just come on down and fetch it yourself?

Well, I thought this being the White House and everything,

that you all probably have pretty strict security.

(CHUCKLES) Oh, nonsense. Come on down.

You've got nothing to fear.

Okay, if you say so.

-Thanks, mister. -Not so fast, intruder!

But you just said I...

Hey, mister. What you doing to that rabbit?

(STAMMERING) Nothing! I... Why, uh, this?

This is the First Rabbit.

I am?

I mean, you can't have a White House carrot garden without a First Rabbit.

Hmm, First Rabbit, huh?

It's my honor, as First Rabbit, to eat

the very first carrot from the White House garden.

Why, you little...

Who are you calling little?

-Leslie? -Yes?

Liberty here tells me you've been neglecting her needs this morning.

Can you tell me why?

There is a rabbit in the White House carrot garden.

Not just any rabbit, the First Rabbit.

Ugh!

It's a matter of national security, Todd!

Please, call me Mr. Randall.

The President would like you to finish your chore list.

You dropped your bag.

(GRUMBLES) You're lucky, rabbit.

-Nice tie. -Thanks.

So, should I show myself out?

Nah, make yourself at home.

You are the First Rabbit, after all.

I'm not gonna let that rabbit make a fool out of me!

Leslie P. Lily-Legs... Ah!

Huh?

(SIGHS)

This means domestic conflict!

Look, rabbit, I don't think you know who you're messing with.

You're right! I don't.

And you are?

I am the Vice President of the United States!

We still have one of those?

Listen up, you!

You're not the only one with tricks up his sleeve.

Let's see if he can handle taking on the most sophisticated

military combat equipment known to man.

I don't know how this works.

-Here you go, Doc. -Well, thanks.

I don't... (SCREAMS)

(GRUNTS)

Is that the Vice President?

I don't think we have one of those anymore.

Ahhh!

(GRUNTS)

(BUGS LAUGHING)

Then the bear says, "Let me guess.

"You're not in this for the hunting."

(ALL LAUGHING)

PRESIDENT: Oh, it's gonna be great having a friend around here.

Hmm. Let's see if I can hit him where it hurts.

If this doesn't make me President, I don't know what will.

Come, and get it, rabbit! (BEEPS)

What's up, Veep?

I've got motion sensors hooked up to tranquilizer darts.

The slightest movement will set them off, and...

Kapow!

The slightest movement from what?

That crazy rabbit in the carrot patch.

Really? The slightest movement?

The very slightest.

Like this?

(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey!

(LESLIE GROANING)

Gobble, gobble.

Hey, Leslie, what are you doing?

I'm painting a carrot. What does it look like I'm doing?

Stay in school, kid.

(GIGGLES)

No!

Come back here! Liberty!

I wonder what this is for. (BEEPS)

(GRUNTS)

(SIGHS)

PRESIDENT: Ah, Leslie...

I'd like to congratulate you on a job well done!

Thank you, Grandma.

Todd told me about the sensation that you've started

with this, um, First Rabbit thing.

So, I've come up with a better task to assign you.

(DINGING)

Oh, Leslie! Another plate of carrots, please.

Open wide.

Turns out the Vice President can be useful.

(VACUUM WHIRRING)

Squeaks, you missed a spot.

(SQUEAKS)

(CHATTERING)

(RUMBLING)

(CRIES OUT)

I just cleaned this place.

Well, you're gonna have to start over.

(GRUNTS)

Now, what on earth is going on up here?

Ah, seems normal to me. (SNIFFING)

(BELCHES)

Oh, hello. Don't you have a pleasant aroma.

Release my beard, rabbit! This land is mine to conquer.

(GASPS)

Why, Santy Claus, you didn't have to bring me all this great stuff.

-(SNORTS) -Ah!

You know, Rudolph's kind of let himself go over here.

(GROWLING)

But the squirrel and I thank you for the gifts.

Look, Squeaks, a carrot peeler.

A-ha!

-(CHATTERING) -BUGS: Oh, look at that. Oh, wow, look at this... (GASPS)

-Look, what's this? Oh... -(GROWLING)

And now you're a princess. Boop!

-(GROWLING) -Bye!

I don't give, I take.

(CHATTERING)

And I take this forest!

-Okay, let's not get ahead of our... -Ah!

I take that, too.

(GROWLS) Over my dead bunny!

-(GROWLING) -My pleasure.

-(LAUGHS) -(CHATTERS)

(SQUEALING)

Hey! I'm the only one who treats my friends like that!

(STRAINING)

(GROWLING)

-Argh! -Enough!

Do not return, rabbit.

Ahhh!

You know, something tells me that ain't Santa Claus.

(SNORING)

One ding-dong coming up!

(GROWLS)

(YELLS)

(BREATHING HEAVILY) Hands off my arsenal!

Hands off my hole!

Oh, I'll take this hole.

I'll take this land. I'll take these.

You want them? Come take them.

(ROARS)

(ALL GROWLING)

I cannot fight someone who fights naked.

Oh, is that so?

(GASPS) Uh-oh!

(EXHALES)

(ROARS)

Squirrel underwear?

This gives me all the protection I need.

(BARBARIAN GRUNTING)

See? I didn't feel a thing.

(YELPS)

That, I felt.

(GRUNTING)

Tag! You're it.

(BOTH GROWLING)

Yoo-hoo!

Get him, you fool!

-Crush him! -(GROWLING)

(GROWLING)

(STRAINING)

(GROWLING)

Ahhh! Ow!

Stop chewing my boot!

Stay out of the way if you're not gonna help.

(YELPING)

Rabbit!

Now I'm mad!

(PANTING)

Now it's your turn, rabbit!

(GROWLING)

(GIGGLING)

(GROANING)

(SOBBING)

Ahhh!

Don't just stand there, you dumb bear! Help me!

(STRAINING)

Dessert?

Why would you even steal this?

I don't know.

-How about a pet? -(YELPING)

Taste of honey?

(LAUGHING)

Oh!

Night, night! (SIGHS)

(WHIMPERING)

Oh, Barbie, you missed a spot.

(GROANS)

(GROWLS)

-(ROARING) -(SHRIEKS)

(SIGHS) It certainly is difficult to get good help these days.

(CHATTERING)

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