Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Going down the rabbit hole

Where we're going no one knows

Obstacles 'round every bend

Let's see where the tunnel ends

-(SNORING) -(GASPS)

(CONTINUES SNORING)

(ROOSTER CROWING)

(YAWNS)

-What the...? -Hmm?

-Bigfoot? -Yup?

-You climbed into my bed because you're scared? -Yep.

-And you're not gonna leave me alone all day? -Uh-huh.

I'll get the kettle on.

(WHISTLES)

-You hungry? -Not right now, maybe when I'm older.

(SIGHS) I'll just put these away, then.

(CLANGING)

(CRASHING)

Okay, I'm older now.

(GROANS)

-Breakfast is up. -Huh?

No, buddy, on the table.

Mm. Huh?

Hmm.

Ooh, what's that?

What? This? This is salt.

No, no, no, Bigfoot, you shake it.

-Hmm? -Wait, you don't know what salt is?

-Mm-mmm. -Wow, you have so much to learn.

Well, then teach me.

(SIGHS) Okay, Bigfoot, now this is how you grab a fork.

Hmm.

(SCREAMS) Droopy-face man, what did you do with lady?

(GROWLS)

Lady! You're back. You just missed the droopy-face man.

-He was just here. -(GAGS)

(COUGHS) It's time to teach you about hygiene.

Now, dental health is the first step in personal hygiene.

And the first thing you need is a toothbrush.

Then you grab a tube of toothpaste,

and put a pea-sized amount on your brush.

You wanna make sure you get your top and your bottom.

Huh?

Bigfoot, give me that.

Okay, now you got to rinse your mouth.

(EXCLAIMS)

(GURGLING)

(GURGLING)

Nice work, now we both need a shower.

Showers are private, you'll get your turn.

She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes...

She'll be coming round the mountain...

BIGFOOT: (SINGING) When she's coming around the mountain

She'll be grabbing all the oranges...

Is that my toothbrush?

(CRASHING)

What's this?

These are my clothes. This is where I get dressed.

But you don't wear clothes.

Touche, Bigfoot, touche.

But sometimes I wear a tie.

Ooh, can I try?

Sure, okay.

So the rabbit goes around the tree two times.

Then he ducks under the bush, then pops down his hole and voila.

-Okay, now you try. -(CHUCKLES)

So the rabbit uproots the tree, and shoves it under a bush.

And the rabbit runs up the mountain,

but there's a giant duck on the mountain,

and that duck is angry.

Oh, he's chasing the rabbit.

The rabbit is running from the ducky.

He's running as fast as he can.

-Uh, Bigfoot. -Oh, no.

Oh, no, the rabbit might not make it to his hole.

Wait, wait, wait, slow down.

Oh, no, run, rabbit, run!

Run as fast as you can.

-No! (SCREAMS) -Stop!

-I did it. -(MUFFLED) Way to go.

Now, this is how we use a computer.

-Bigfoot. -Yeah.

-Where's my keyboard? -I don't know.

-Come on Bigfoot, give it back. -(GAGS)

-All of it. -(GAGS)

This one tastes like...

Hmm.

What? Where's my computer?

Hmm, taste like apples.

Could use a little salt.

That tears it! Big...

(GROANS) Look, Bigfoot, I tried to be patient with you.

But, but, but you just won't listen to me.

-Hey, what time is it? -It's 4:46 p.m.

Scary time is over.

Bye, lady!

(CRASHING)

(SIGHS) What a day.

(CRASHING)

BIGFOOT: Good night, lady.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hey, Squeaks. Uh-huh. Well, if you want my help making almond milk,

have the ingredients prepped when I get there. Get out your blender,

(SAWING)

Whoa.

(LAUGHING) I told them that cell couldn't hold me.

And 40 years later, I'm right.

Whoo-hoo, I'm free, I'm free,

I'm... I'm broke.

Yee-haw!

Oh, shoot.

I don't got no fire power.

Hold the phone.

I got these puppies right here.

All right everyone, this here's a stick-up.

Get your hands in the air, where I can... See them?

So soak your legumes for at least 30 minutes, and don't forget to...

-Hey. -Uh, Squeaks,

I'm gonna have to call you back in about four and a half minutes.

-This here's a stick up. -Eh, what's up, pointy?

Where's all the tellers? Where's the safe so I can blast it?

They don't keep money in safes anymore, bub,

it's all digital now, you know, ones and zeros.

Yeah, that's what I want. Give me some ones with lots of zeros.

There's nothing here to give. It's all on the Internet.

Uh-huh. Well then, hand over the Internet!

Oh, boy. Look, doc,

the Internet ain't something you just hand over.

Well, what is it then?

Well, it's sort of hard to describe.

-Now imagine a big delivery tube... -Big tube, got it.

-Hey. -Wrong size.

(GROANS)

(GASPS)

-Wrong shape. -(GASPS)

Eh, no.

(GROWLS)

Yee-haw, that's the biggest tube I ever saw.

-Whoo-hoo. -(CRASHING)

(GROANING)

The tubes were just a metaphor, doc.

The Internet's all around us.

-It's in the cloud. -Cloud?

Okay, but this time you're a-coming with me.

Yeah, that'll do the trick.

What a lovely day to take bowling balls on a hot air balloon.

-Out of my way. -(EXCLAIMS)

We're a-commandeering this vessel.

There! A cloud, just like you said.

Yee-haw.

Hey, you forgot your hat.

Oh, brother, what a Luddite.

Less savvy than a caveman's grandpa. (CHUCKLES)

(SCREAMS)

Just need to pick up that spare.

-(GROANS) -Guy belongs in a museum. (LAUGHING)

(EXCLAIMS)

You're gonna take me to the Internet right now.

And if you try any tricks this time,

I'll blow you into the sky.

Okay, okay, take it easy.

-And no more games, rabbit. -All right, bub.

The Internet's in there.

-Oh really? Yow! -(GUNSHOT)

Whoo!

Forgot the safety was off.

Now, where was I?

-Oh, you were going to get me a corn dog. -Yeah, that's right.

Now, wait a minute. No more tricks, rabbit.

You go first and stay where I can see you.

All right (GRUNTS)

-Oh, well, we tried. -(GUNSHOT)

-(BLOWS) -Or we could do that.

BUGS: Watch your step now. A little drop.

-A bit of a squeeze here. -(SQUEAKING)

Try sucking in that gut, doc.

SAM: Okay, that's it. I'll warn you.

You just bought yourself a ticket to the stratosphere.

Ah, ho, the tables have turned.

Oh, I'm a little chilly.

-(MUSIC PLAYING) -Whoo! Whoo!

(SNARLING)

(SCREAMING)

Go back, go back.

-(GROWLING) -Go forward!

Knit one, pearl two.

-(TRAIN HORN BLOWING) -(YELLS)

No more shenanigans. Take me to the Internet or else...

The Internet is right up there, doc.

Whoo-hoo!

I'm rich, I'm rich.

(LAUGHING)

I'm on the Internet, I'm on the Internet.

I'm on... Huh?

-(BLOWS LANDING) -(SAM GROANING)

You sure are on the Internet, doc.

SAM: I'm up to a million hits.

(SCATTING)

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