All language subtitles for Madam.Secretary.S05E11.HDTV.x264-BATV-en

Previously on Madam Secretary...

We're renewing our vows.

- The hour and the minute we picked has...
- Because it was the minute that we both

knew that we were
getting married: 8:22.

It was actually this joke that I told

that really sealed the deal.

Oh! (YELLS)

WIN: ...legalization of marijuana

is the best way for the U.S.
to weaken the Mexican cartels.

JAY: Arizona governor Barker
implemented a new policy

of separating children from parents

who illegally cross the border.

CARLOS: I am staunchly
against the federal government

undermining a state's
authority to regulate

- its own border.
- Come on, Senator, you know

there are a million reasons
the federal government

has to be in charge of the border.

RICHARD: You are trespassing

on Arizona state property.

ELIZABETH: If desperate asylum seekers

aren't free from being detained
unfairly in this state,

why should I?

(SIGHS) I guess you're
accustomed to...

this sort of thing.

Oh, Christ. I meant
social justice, not...

Oh, Jesus, I just said "Christ."

And "Jesus"! I'm...

My mother always said, "Don't
call him unless you need him,"

- so I think it's appropriate.
- (SIGHS)

And yes, it isn't my first

arrested-for-protesting rodeo, but...

it is the first time with a
presidential cabinet member.

Well, we did what we had to do.

I think it was
Saint Augustine who said,

"In the absence of justice,
what is sovereignty

but organized robbery?"

- My husband is a religious scholar.
- I'm well aware.

I consider him a foremost
authority on Saint Francis.

Oh. That is so gonna make his day.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

I understand speaking out,

but why did you allow
yourself to get arrested?

I have to believe you
have some... connections.

What I saw in that detention
center crossed a line

I never thought our country
would cross, and I felt...

obligated to make
the world pay attention.

I feel like...

the soul of our country is at stake.

I agree.

And souls are my business.

McCord, Elizabeth Adams.

That's me.

Turn to the side.

RUSSELL:
Not exactly how we drew it up.

Cable news is losing its mind,

and this may very well be the
meme that breaks the Internet.

Governor Barker's gone too far.

Yeah, what else is new?

I'm sorry,

but this is what happens

when a self-promoting, D.C.-hating,

malignant narcissist

gets his paws on a national issue.

And we should have anticipated it!

The arrest is drawing attention
to the issue.

Oh, fantastic.

The families are still separated.

The Mexican border deal is-is dead.

President Zaragoza is talking
U.N. resolutions against us

and practically sending troops
to the Arizona border!

And our once-popular,

future-president Secretary
of State is behind bars!

I'm not sure how much attention
all that's worth, Professor.

Russell, history has taught us

that we must confront injustice
head-on when we find it.

That's exactly
what Elizabeth is doing.

What, by wandering miles
beyond her mandate

as Secretary of State?

- Literally!
- I would argue that what she is doing

is precisely her mandate.

She swore to uphold the Constitution.

Arizona's separation policy

represents an institutional erosion

of civil and human rights.

- It threatens our way of life.
- I don't like

what Barker's doing
any more than you do,

but there's more than
one way to skin a cat.

Mainly, not in jail!

Jail might be precisely
the way to skin this cat,

because it is noisy.

Look, the bellwether of a
crumbling democracy is always

a violation of human rights.

Look at Nazi Germany.

North Korea.

Ghana under Kwame Nkrumah.

- Iraq under Saddam Hussein.
- I think it's a little premature

to be lamenting the death
of our democracy.

That is exactly what everyone
said in those countries

as human rights eroded.

All right, fine. But your wife

is torching her chances
of becoming president

and saving our franchise
from lunatics like Barker.

Those mug shots

won't exactly look good
on a campaign poster,

but you can bet her opponents

will be printing them up on T-shirts!

Enough.

How do we put a stop to Barker
and reunite the families?

Right now I'm considering
sending in the National Guard.

Sir, I... I think

that would be playing
right into Barker's hands.

I agree.

He's already elevated

his stature by taking on Elizabeth.

And who the hell outside of Arizona
even heard of this guy before today?

That's right. Now that this has blown
up, Mr. President, any attention

from you will give him
even more notoriety.

Well, what, then?

I need a plan of attack.

(SIGHS) Unfortunately,
I think it's best

not to attack, sir.

Better to... avoid a public showdown.

Let this fire burn itself out.

Meanwhile, we work to
get Elizabeth released,

and de-escalate the situation...

focus on fighting
the family separations in court.

(SIGHS): Fine.

Let's send an army
of White House lawyers

to handle it.

I'd like to send Mike B.

To represent Elizabeth personally.

And I'm gonna go down there, too.

Of course.

Fresh printouts.

I divided them into domestic...

- Mm-hmm.
- ...and international.

Oh. And the mug shot

is officially a meme.

- Fantastic.
- No shooting the messenger.

- Hey, Stevie.
- Frankie. Hi.

Hey, uh, Russell wanted me
to give you these talking points

before the press conference.

Yeah, I got his e-mail.
I mean, you didn't need

to hand-deliver it.

I actually kind of wanted
an excuse to get in here.

I need your help.
I-It's not about anything

happening today... it's
for the party, the vow renewal.

Yeah, this is me staring
incredulously at you

- even before I know what the problem is.
- The band cancelled

at the last minute, and I can't
find anyone to replace them.

You're worried about a band
when your mother is in jail?

Mike B. is on that.

I'm sure that she will
be out in no time.

But this party is unstoppable.

I was thinking... I was
remembering, really...

last year when you
and Blake and Jay...

- No.
- ...came and sang at our holiday party.

- Nope.
- Why not?

Because that was people singing
around a piano for atmosphere.

You did notice
the significant lack of dancing.

Maybe if you guys...
picked up the pace?

Okay, even if I thought
it was a good idea,

I don't have time
to learn a bunch of songs.

- Why don't you hire a deejay?
- It just feels so impersonal.

Stevie, if your mother

gets out of jail in time,

I'm sure she'll be happy with Spotify.

Sorry. I got to go.

It's just that it's tomorrow night,

and they really want a band,

and Laser Dawn was perfect.

They were one of the top
cover bands in D.C.

specializing in '70s covers,

including and especially...

Peter Frampton's "Baby,
I Love Your Way,"

which is my mom's favorite.

Really?

Not judging.

- Also Bee Gees, "How Deep Is Your Love."
- Huh.

So now I am just, like, on my knees

to all these second-rate bands,

and I'm just getting nothing but no.

Even knowing who your mom is?

Well, I didn't tell them that.
I thought

- I wasn't supposed to.
- Are you kidding me? Lead with that.

It's the only way to get
anything done in this town.

- Aim higher, girl.
- Okay.

(WHISPERS): Thanks.

MAN: How long will
the secretary be in jail?

WOMAN: Was Secretary McCord
acting under the direction...

DAISY: Secretary McCord was acting
on behalf of the administration.

Oh.

- You okay?
- I'm fine. Yeah.

You know when I told you
to focus on voter intensity,

this isn't exactly what I had in mind.

Can we just whistle
past the reprimand, please?

Fine. I have arranged
for you a plea deal.

You plead guilty to
misdemeanor trespass,

you'll be released immediately
with a small fine.

Oh, God, this isn't viewed
with gratitude, is it?

I can't plead guilty.

- You so can.
- I can't.

You plead guilty. Not only does it

go against my integrity,
but it sets a bad precedent

with respect to federal authority.

I was just doing my job.

I was escorting a foreign dignitary

to check on his citizens.

Okay, well, just so you and
your integrity are aware,

you will be charged
with felony trespass

and you can kiss POTUS good-bye.

That's not lost on me, Mike.

I have a few dozen calls to make.

I'll let you think about that.

Henry, the faces

of those kids.

The world has to see that.

They have to really get it.

And if I...

if I plead guilty,
the headlines will pull

- to the wrong thing.
- But you have

to consider what you've
already accomplished.

People are aware, and you can do
a lot more good outside of jail.

Not to mention the good you can
do in the world as president.

- Are you willing to risk that?
- I think that viral mug shot's

probably already blown
that out of the water.

That's just an image. That'll go
away. A felony conviction,

that's another matter.

Well, whose side are you on?

I support any decision you make.

You've got to follow your conscience.

JFK said, "There's something immoral

about abandoning your own judgment."

I think that was JFK in a movie.

- Either way, it's a good point.
- It is.

BAILIFF: Calling case number 3247.

The People of the State of Arizona

v. Elizabeth McCord.

(CHATTER, APPLAUSE)

(PEOPLE WHOOPING)

- (GAVEL BANGS)
- JUDGE: Order, please.

I know this is exciting, but, uh,

pipe down, folks.

Good afternoon, Judge Collins.

Harley Johnson
on behalf of the People.

Michael Barnow for Secretary McCord.

(QUIETLY): God help me.

Good afternoon, Secretary McCord.

Good afternoon, Your Honor.

How do you plead
to the charge of one count

misdemeanor criminal trespass?

You know it's not too late
to talk about this...

Don't need to. Not guilty.

In that case, Judge, since
defendant is not availing herself

of our plea offer, the People
would like to proceed

with one charge of felony
criminal trespass.

- (GALLERY GASPS)
- Understood.

How do you plead to that, ma'am?

- Bess, for the love of God...
- Not guilty.

- (GROANS)
- Sorry about him, Your Honor.

JUDGE: I've had worse.

Now...

out of respect for your position

as Secretary of State,
I order you released

from custody immediately

on your own recognizance, no bail,

provided that you promise to appear

for all future courtroom proceedings.

No, Your Honor.

- Bess, come on.
- Excuse me, ma'am,

are you refusing my... my orders?

I-I mean no disrespect, Your Honor.

But I'm going to refuse
to leave prison

until all the detained children
are reunited with their parents.

(APPLAUSE, LIVELY CHATTER)

MAN: Yeah!

(PEOPLE WHOOPING)

Okay, then.

And, Your Honor,

if you don't mind, could
I just say a couple of words

before I... go to jail?

Go for it.

No one should rest until this
inhumane practice is stopped.

All Arizonans, all Americans

should make their voices heard.

In fact, I am certain

that if every American could see
what is happening inside

the Arizona State Detention
Facility in Sasabe,

they would do everything
they could to end it.

Because this is not who we are.

(APPLAUSE)

Thank you, Your Honor.
I appreciate it.

(CHEERING)

Okay, then.

Trial date's set for
one week from today.

♪

Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.

RUSSELL: ...and suddenly,
she's Gandhi and Joan of Arc

all rolled into one.

Only now, she's martyring
the whole damn administration.

Excuse me, Jay Whitman.

Great. The crack... team leader.

- What the hell happened to you?
- Oh, I was playing basket...

Oh, forget it; I don't care.

Look, the secretary is
torching her storied career,

and now we, the grown-ups,
have to wall off the rest

of the State Department
and the administration.

Limit the blast radius
by disavowing her actions.

She's standing up for the rights
of children, Russell.

Said the man who can barely stand.

Sit down, already.

I have no quibble with
what's in her heart.

My problem is she's flying solo

when we all need to be
rowing together.

I... I'm aware of the mixed metaphor.

The point is, if she's going
down in flames,

she is not gonna take
the administration with her.

And if that-that hearing

was any indication,
her trial next week

is gonna be a three-ring
media circus, which is bad

for the business of government.

We need a nice choral trio.

Polite. Ordered. Calming.

People get nervous
when their government

is devouring the headlines every day.

It's bad for the country.

Arizona's child separation
policy is worse.

It demands a noisy response,
maybe even a circus.

I didn't call you here for
your opinion, all right?

- Too bad. (GROANS) Ugh.
- I need you...

For God's sake, sit down.

(SIGHS)

Say what you want to say.

The president should issue

a statement of support for
the secretary, get behind her,

because some issues transcend
politics as usual and demand...

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop, stop, stop.

Y-You think I don't care

about what's going on with those kids?

If I had my way, Governor Barker

would be on his way to The Hague.

But this, this is about process,

and what's best for our democracy.

- I couldn't agree more.
- Okay.

Look. You might be

in my shoes one day soon.

The point is, the job isn't
about doing what's right.

It's about doing what's best.

And that is right.

Is cynicism a prerequisite
for the job?

Cynical pragmatism.

Looking at every issue

from every possible angle all at once,

and then figuring out what's
best for the country.

Okay? So no one's leaving this room

until we're all on the same page.

Now, where are we on-on challenging

Arizona's detention policy?

ADELE: Sorry, but you
need to see this.

What? She was arrested again?

Mm.

A guard...

from the Arizona Detention
Center just released it.

(DETAINEES COUGHING, CRYING)

(RUSSELL SIGHS)

Holy mother of God.

(LOCK BUZZING)

CHILD: Mama. Mama.

And he made a statement to the press.

If the Secretary of State
is willing to go to jail

to shed light on this situation,

then I can't stay silent.

The world needs to know.
And now they do.

I stand with Secretary McCord.

(CHEERING)

(CHEERING CONTINUES)

(VIDEO STOPS)

Okay, now that changes things.

Public opinion is turning
against you, Governor.

The latest snap poll
taken in the last hour

shows that 90% of Americans are
against family separations.

I don't govern by polls,
Mr. President.

Fair enough.

But I think we can agree that
your sheriff took things too far

by arresting Secretary McCord.

No, sir. Law's the law.

None of us is above it.

Clearly, we don't see
eye to eye on much.

But how about this?

I can offer you a seat at the table

with a coalition of border governors

to provide meaningful input

on the border security
deal with Mexico.

We both know that that's
what this is really about.

And I'm willing to compromise,

providing you reunite the families

and release Secretary McCord today.

Let's get past this ugliness
and work together.

You think my base wants compromise?

I get 10,000 folks at my rallies
in Tucson.

And they are tired

of mamby-pamby politicians
willing to sell their souls

based on the latest poll.

Now, you want a deal? Here it is:

rip up that feckless immigration
bill you signed over the summer,

and then we can get real
about border security.

You know that's not going
to happen, Governor.

Then I guess we have nothing
to talk about.

(DALTON SIGHS)

Son of a bitch.

He wants to go to war, fine.

I want all options on the table.

And I can't worry about how much
attention this brings to Barker.

We have to end this even if
it means getting in the mud.

RUSSELL: Then I say
we go after the man.

Directly. Personally. Take him in.

- Investigate his taxes?
- Don't tempt me.

Look, if we're gonna do this
quickly, we need to draw blood.

There has to be some

federal statue somewhere
that Barker's breaking

by detaining all these
people extrajudicially.

Okay. You really want
to ratchet things up

and play hardball?

We argue that this current policy

Barker is enforcing
is beyond the scope

of his mandate as
chief executive of the state.

- To what end?
- Well, normally,

a sitting governor is shielded
from personal liability

as long as he's acting in
his official capacity.

But we argue that this
separation policy

is such an egregious
violation of human rights

and so completely outside the scope

of the state's domain
that, by definition,

Barker is acting beyond his role
as governor by ordering it.

And we charge him with kidnapping.

Isn't that a bit of a stretch?

Oh, no, it's a lot of a stretch.

- I like it.
- DALTON: Get it in the works.

I'm done with this bastard.

Sure, I'll send you all of
the details in an e-mail,

and, hopefully, we can
confirm tomorrow morning.

That would be great.

All right, bye-bye.

- We smelled dinner.
- (SIGHS)

You smelled more than that.

You smelled success.

- Mm. It smells a lot like vegan chili.
- JASON: Yeah.

Guys, I think I just got
Epic Dreamscape.

Well, you know, don't worry.

I think they're close
to finding a cure.

That's a band, I hope.

That is not just a band,

it is the best wedding band in town.

This is gonna happen.

I'm glad you've made progress,

because Jason and I are
nowhere on our project.

Yeah. Because you rejected
my stand-up comedy idea,

and now you're rejecting
my Mad Libs idea.

Because they both equally sucked.

Wha...?

Guys. Well, the poem is
now the only missing piece.

I'm just more of a visual person.

I'm more of a
"this is a dumb idea" person.

Move, move, move.

Okay. Why don't we just try

to do something with Dad's
stupid joke?

- Like, the exact time of it.
- (PHONE VIBRATING)

What rhymes with 8:22?

Avian flu.

STEVIE: Oh, my God.
I do not believe this.

I sent out a Hail Mary to Laser Dawn,

asking if they would
consider reuniting

for the Secretary of State
and they said yes.

We just went from having no band
to being double booked.

Ooh, and apparently, healing
the wounds of Laser Dawn.

We are the world, dude.

Oh, man, Daisy wasn't kidding
about aiming higher.

- JASON: Yeah.
- ALISON: Mm.

Hey, I got the basket from Win.

Thanks for sending it over.

DAISY (OVER PHONE):
He wants you to know

he didn't injure you on purpose

and he still wants a
sit-down with M-Sec.

I'm sure he does.

Hey, did Nolan really pitch
charging Barker with kidnapping?

And POTUS is champing at the bit.

What's the latest there?

Well, the narrative has shifted
in her favor, which is good.

But she's still locked up.

It's uncharted territory.

How's the leg?

It hurts like hell.

Doc says it'll feel like
this for a few days.

I know I'm not getting
any sleep tonight.

You should take something.

You have to be on your game tomorrow.

It's gonna be a big day.

Yeah, I know. I'll think about it.

- All right. Take care.
- You, too.

Space Jammies Indica gummies.

THC pain cream.

Marijuana edibles.

No way.

- All those baby goats have pajamas?
- (GOATS BLEATING ON VIDEO)

(LAUGHS)

Because they're cold.

Oh,

why don't all...

farm animals have pajamas?

Not the cows,
but the little ones, anyway.

That's... that's so doable.

Idea. Pajamas for small farm animals.

Pitch to Department of Agriculture.

(PHONE RINGING)

Jay Whitman. Who's this?

AUTOMATED VOICE: Hello.

You have a collect call from an inmate

of the Arizona Penitentiary.

ELIZABETH (RECORDED):
Elizabeth McCord.

(JAY GRUNTS)

AUTOMATED VOICE: To accept, say yes.

To decline, say no.

To accept, say yes. Yes.

Yes. God, yes.

Ma'am.

Hey, it took you a minute there.

Promise I'll pay you back.

No, it's not that.
I just got confused.

You don't call me from jail every day.

I mean, nobody does.
I mean, not that it's...

That jail's bad. You... How are you?

I'm fine. I...

They let me make phone
calls whenever I want.

They let Henry get some clothes to me,

and they even put a divider
around my bed so I have privacy.

- I'm fine.
- (LAUGHS)

Jay?

Oh. Sorry. The image is...

You sound a little weird.

I'm sorry, ma'am.

These are weird times.

Can't argue with that.

Listen, now that public opinion

has swung so decisively

against the family separation policy,

I think it's worth taking

another crack at convincing Morejon

to help out with the
legislative option.

Unlike Barker,
he has national ambitions

and he can't afford to
define his base so narrowly.

Sure. Yeah. We-we... It's worth a try.

We don't really have a choice.

I heard you were in the room
when the A.G. suggested...

(QUIETLY): going after
Barker for kidnapping.

And I think that if we
don't do something soon,

POTUS will call in the
National Guard and...

that'll trigger the biggest
federal-state showdown

since the Civil War.

Wow.

Yeah. So,

meet with Morejon
first thing in the morning.

And just in case the shift
in public opinion isn't enough,

try to come up with some...

I don't know... something.
Some extra angle or inducement

that can win him over.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

I'll get started on that, like, now.

Sorry to ruin your night.

What do you mean?

Wait, what do you mean?

I mean that you're gonna
have to work late and...

Yeah.

No. I mean, that's-that's my pleasure.

It's my job. It's my job.

Thank you. That's...

I'll talk to you soon.

Mm. Bye.

Oh, my God.

That was hard.

(RINGTONE PLAYS)

Hey, Jay. What's up?

I'm on a kind of painkiller.

Congratulations.

So, I don't know if this idea...

Wait, wait, where are you?

I am driving to Aguila

- to visit my father.
- Oh.

That's probably not gonna be easy.

- How long has it been?
- (EXHALES)

Been a couple years. I'm, uh...

just hoping for the best.

Okay.

Good luck.

Thanks.

What's your idea?

What? Oh, right.

So, M-Sec wants me
to meet with Morejon

first thing in the morning
to take another swing

at the legislative option,
and I want to know if this idea

is good crazy or Jay-you're-fired...

- crazy.
- (CHUCKLES): Okay.

All right, let's hear it.

Did you know studies have
shown that THC outperforms

most prescription sedatives
and has no side effects?

- Did not know.
- Yeah.

You get me ten minutes with your boss,

- I-I promise she'll love you for it.
- (CHUCKLES)

You might even end up with
her job when she's promoted.

- (LAUGHS)
- Sorry to interrupt. Tight window, pal.

Oh, hey, buddy. Look,
look, here's my card.

Call anytime. Let's get this done.

- I'm feeling it.
- (CHUCKLES)

You ever stop?

I'm blessed. I love pot.

Believe in what I preach.

- Thanks for doing this on short notice.
- (PHONE CHIMES)

Anytime, brother. Psyched to
be recruited into the fight.

Well, the senator is about to get out

of a Presidential Advisory
Commission meeting.

Love it. I'm the king of the ambush.

Not that I ever ambushed you.

That's always a coincidence.

(CHUCKLES)

- Just...
- Yeah.

(EXHALES)

Must be how a predator feels, huh?

Waiting ever so patiently
in the tall grass to pounce.

I'm a lion, Jay.

For my country.

Just don't screw this up.

(DOOR OPENS)

Wait for it.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Okay, now.

Hey, uh, Senator.

What a coincidence.

- How's that?
- I was about to call you.

But if you have a sec now,
I'd-I'd love to...

- run something by you.
- Sure.

Look, first, I want to apologize
for the other night, okay?

Emotions have been running high,
mine especially.

And I'd just really like
you to know that I respect

that you're in a tough spot.

Okay.

But now the whole country,

including most of Arizona,

is rallying behind M-Sec
and outraged by the policy.

So I-I'd like to revisit
the idea of you sponsoring

a bill to force
Governor Barker's hand.

My position has not changed.

If I may, Senator,
I think I have a way

for you to help reunite the families

and still be tough on immigration.

How's that?

I read every speech you've given

over the last ten years
about illegal immigration,

and you always say
the biggest underlying cause

is the flow of drugs
across the border.

That's right.

I have someone I'd like you to meet.

This is Win Barrington.

The pot lobbyist?

(LAUGHS) My mom reacted
pretty much the same way

when I told her what I was doing.

So I get it.

But, Senator, there is no better
way to defang the syndicates

and gangs trafficking over our borders

than to take away
their biggest market.

The kingpins are terrified
of legalization.

Not only would it
cripple their business,

it would significantly curtail
the flow of all illicit drugs

over the border.
Legalization of marijuana

in certain states is already

weakening the Mexican drug cartels.

And marijuana grown legally
in the U.S. is cheaper

and better than what the cartels
are smuggling over the border,

which is effectively
pricing the cartels out.

I don't make policies based
on theories, Mr. Barrington.

- Where's the evidence
- (CHUCKLES) You're right.

That's my bad. Some
people get spun by data.

But here are the numbers.

Ten years ago, U.S. Customs
and Border Patrol seized

over four million pounds
of marijuana at the border.

Last year, it was down
to less than a million.

And with less cartel
activity, violent crime

in border states that have
legalized marijuana

has gone down an average of 13%.

That's why marijuana legalization is

directly linked to
stronger border security.

861,231 pounds of
marijuana were seized

at U.S. ports of entry in 2017 versus

2.4 million pounds in 2013

and 4.3 million pounds in 2009.

Okay.

What does this have to do
with me sponsoring a bill

to pressure the governor?

- Well...
- You can sponsor two bills.

Be the maverick who
reaches across the aisle

with a humane solution

to family separation

and a creative solution

to get tough on immigration.

Hold your base and expand
it to a broader demo.

WIN: Not only that.
The marijuana lobby is

incredibly well-funded. Um,
one of my biggest initiatives

as their chief lobbyist
is to figure out

where best to invest those funds.

You have a tough reelection
coming up next cycle, Senator...

- Win, enough. Win, Win.
- ...and I'd like to...

- Okay.
- So what do you say,

Senator?

_

_

I speak English.

You don't have to treat me

like a peasant.

Okay. Well, I don't...

(CHUCKLES) I mean,
I don't look at it that way.

I'm just proud of both
my languages and cultures.

This is your culture now,
how you go around in the world.

I was talking about the Irish side.

Your mother... always so wild.

How could you turn out any other way?

(CHUCKLES):
What are you talking about?

She wanted me to go to cotillion.

Yeah, I'm not the progeny
either of you had in mind.

How is she?

Still in Florida.

- Doing community theater.
- (CHUCKLES)

- Probably happy.
- She always thought

she was a star.

Too good for me and this place.

That, you got from her.

Moving all over.

Washington,

- California, politics, avocados...
- Hey.

- Okay. Right. Right.
- ...writing a book, airing out

- all your dirty laundry.
- My laundry's

pretty clean, actually, so...

Telling the world

who you want to sleep with.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- You like girls,

- you like boys.
- Yeah.

What is your daughter
supposed to think?

Desi's fine, by the way.
Thank you for asking.

No.

I'm not doing this.
It's not why I'm here.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Look, I am here...

Come on. You've seen the news.

Things aren't good here.

And I'm just...
I'm-I'm worried about you.

I have a green card.

I'm legal.

Never have I worked here illegally.

I know. And there was

a time when that
would've been enough. But...

you know what, these days,
I'm not so sure.

I would feel better
if you had citizenship.

I brought the forms.

I filled them all out.
All you have to do is, um,

sign and initial a couple places

and then send them in, okay?

Once you're in the system,
you're more protected.

(SIGHS)

Okay?

Tell me you'll do it.

Tell me you'll do it.

(SIGHS) You know what,

I was born this way.

But I was also raised by a father

who encouraged me
to live my life on my own terms.

And that's exactly what I'm doing.

(LOCK BUZZES, DOOR CLOSES)

HENRY: Babe?

You in there?

Oh, my God.

Yes. Oh, I am

so happy to see you. Hi.

Hi, hi, hi. Hi. Hi. That's quite a...

setup. How are you holding up?

- I'm okay, I'm okay.
- Yeah?

Um, I just got some news that,

uh, Morejon has agreed
to sponsor the bill

putting pressure on Arizona to end

the family separation policy.

So they're fast-tracking
it to the floor,

and it looks like
they'll have enough votes.

That's incredible. How
did you pull that off?

Yeah. Jay and a very
passionate pot lobbyist,

who actually caused

Jay's basketball injury trying
to get a sit-down with me.

And do you really want me
to keep talking about this?

Nope. No. I just... I'm
glad it worked out.

Yeah, well, it's not
entirely worked out though.

Barker is threatening
to fight the bill in court

as an unconstitutional violation
of the commandeering doctrine

under the Tenth Amendment.

So, we may lose support
from senators afraid

of triggering a constitutional crisis.

Well, don't go there yet.

- Barker might just be posturing.
- (CHUCKLES): Yeah.

Well, he-he's got
pretty good follow-through, too.

- You know? (CHUCKLES)
- Yeah.

You realize we're not
gonna get back in time

for the vow renewal.

I know. And I'm so sorry, Henry.

And I promise
I'm gonna make it up to...

I'm way ahead of you.

Since we can't be in D.C.,

I brought D.C. to us.

(WHISTLES)

- Surprise! - Surprise!
- ELIZABETH: Oh!

- Oh, my! Hi! Hi, hi.
- STEVIE: Have wedding party,

- will travel!
- Better make it quick though.

We got two more gigs
after this one, so...

- Are you okay?
- Oh, yeah. I'm okay. I'm fine.

- Hi.
- Hi, my sweetie.

I brought you your dream dress.

What?

With the perfect shoes.

- And the perfect jewelry.
- (GASPS) Let me see.

And I am right.

(LAUGHING)

And Father Dinardo?

Oh, yeah. You mentioned
you, uh, got arraigned

with this really cool priest,
so I tracked him down.

He's gonna officiate.

I'm happy to oblige.

I have a feeling you two

- are gonna make it.
- (CHUCKLING)

- Eh...
- Oh, I don't even know what to say.

This is just so...

this is amazing.

Oh, Henry, this isn't exactly your...

dream church wedding.

We're here because you're trying
to keep families together.

I can't imagine anything
more holy than that.

- So, come on. Let's get you dressed.
- Okay.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.
We're on the clock.

8:22 approaches!

♪

- Wow. Whew.
- (GASPS) Mom.

Do you like it?

- I love it.
- Oh, gosh.

Ali, you nailed it,

Oh! And look at you, 007.

(CHUCKLES)

- Ooh, one final touch.
- Oh.

STEVIE: Oh, yeah. Don't forget.

JASON: Yeah, we put a file in
there, so just, you know...

Everybody scrunch together
for the Godfather shot.

- Mike, I said...
- You said no publicity.

But this is a wedding photo.

Don't you want to capture the moment?

Babe, he's got a point.

Okay, okay, but just...
We just have...

- Oh, this is for personal use only.
- Absolutely.

We can decide later.

Okay, make it work.
Make it like it's art.

Between the bars. Okay.

Smile. Okay, not so much teeth.

There you go.

That's perfect.

There it is. Get that one.
Right there.

Okay, come on, come on.
We got to get started.

- ELIZABETH: Okay.
- Brothers and sisters,

we are gathered here
today to celebrate

a renewal of love and commitment

that was first realized
30 years ago today.

I understand Henry and Elizabeth
have prepared their own vows

for the renewal of their marriage.

(WHISPERING): Crap.

- You go first.
- All right.

Um, these aren't really
traditional vows.

It's a letter I found in the basement

when I was cleaning it out
after the flood.

I wrote it

the night before we were married.

"Dear Elabet..."

- (LAUGHS)
- That's an inside joke, so just...

"Tomorrow is the day

"that we begin
our magical mystery tour,

and I've never been more eager
to embark." (ALL LAUGH)

I was 26. Give me a break.

- Keep going.
- "I know it's not the easiest way

"to start a marriage,
watching me head off to war,

"but you have nothing to worry about,

"because there's not a force
on Earth that could keep me

"from coming back to you.

"And to all the things
that are waiting for us,

"like more of those midnight
mac and cheese dinners...

- (CHUCKLES)
- "...watching you

go crazy shopping for pillows..."

(WHISPERS): You still do that.

"...and hiking
in the Blue Ridge Mountains

"when the air gets crisp

and the leaves are turning..."

(CLEARS THROAT)
"...and we can see forever.

And the way that you..."

Whoa, okay.

I'm gonna have to skip this
part 'cause the kids are here.

- (LAUGHS)
- (GROANS)

"These are the moments
I will hold in my mind

"while I'm away.

"And the images of the adventures

"we haven't even started.

"The faces of the children we'll have.

"Two for sure, three if we're lucky.

"I know you lost
too much family too soon,

"and I'm so happy to be the one
to help you rebuild that.

"On that note,
no more Peter Frampton concerts

"while I'm away.

"I can't wait for tomorrow
and all our tomorrows.

"As the poet said,

"Elabet, grow old along with me.

"The best is yet to be.

"Yours forever.

Hank."

The best is yet to be.
I remember that.

I love that.

Your dad's the best romantic.

And I was just...

smitten.

And smart enough to fall

for the ridiculously
handsome fighter pilot

who could quote saints and
write letters like that.

Thank you for...

for blinding me with
your love and words

for the last quarter
of a century, Henry.

And thank you for getting me.

For always knowing what to say.

(CHUCKLES): And for
telling the best jokes.

And for...

going to see what that noise was.

And for never hesitating

to go on a wild ride with me.

Going forward, I promise

to always leave just enough
ice cream in the carton,

especially the mocha fudge.

To not yell at the news in the morning

or stay up too late
watching cooking shows,

unless you want to watch them with me.

And to always

give you first shot at the
appliances before I call Earl.

And to not ask you

what you think about what I'm wearing

unless I really want to know.

And...

I will love you with
everything I've got.

To the walk-in bathtub and beyond,

wherever all your saints
think it is we'll end up.

Because I'll go with you
always and anywhere,

Henry McCord.

FATHER DINARDO: I understand

the McCord children
have something to add.

(PHONE VIBRATING)

Yeah, uh... thanks for having us.

- (CHUCKLES)
- STEVIE: I'm sorry, Father Dinardo.

There's a message
from the White House.

FATHER DINARDO: Happens all the time.

It's from Russell.

We got the votes.

- Oh!
- With Morejon's bill passed,

- Governor Douche...
- (CHUCKLES)

Governor Barker, um, admitted defeat

and announced that he's ending
the separation policy.

Children will be reunited
with their parents

as soon as the order comes through.

And Mom will be released

- with all charges dropped.
- ELIZABETH: Yay!

(ALL LAUGH)

Ooh, and, uh...

guess what time it is.

It's perfect.

FATHER DINARDO:
You may kiss the bride.

Since you are.

- Okay.
- Oh, my God. This is so sweet, isn't it?

All I see is a book cover.

- This way. This way.
- Mama!

(WOMEN SPEAKING SPANISH)

(SOBBING)

♪

_

We're all standing here. Just tell us.

Just tell the joke. I love to laugh.

- You have to tell it now.
- I-I can't.

There's a visual. It needs a prop.

- Oh.
- Well, look at that.

- Where did these come from?
- Just tell it.

All right. You ready?

How do you get all the rabbits
in the world

in this room using
just these two items?

No clue. How?

Calling all rabbits.
Calling all rabbits.

(ELIZABETH LAUGHING)

I love that joke.

You got to tell Conrad.

Come here. That's the laugh that
changed the world right there.

I don't... I don't get it.

Sliders are coming back around.
I'm in prime position.

I'm staking out the crab puffs.
Incredible.

I'd body check somebody
for a crab puff. Right?

This is by far the best
jail-centric vow renewal

after-party I've ever had
the privilege of attending.

JAY: No contest.

Seriously, did anybody get that joke?

- MATT: Dude, your assistant, uh...
- Well, yes.

...told me she was typing up
the notes from your phone.

Did you really want to pitch
small farm animal pajamas

to the Department of Agriculture?

Oh, I thought I dreamed that.

You guys, is this
the best party ever or what?

KAT: I was just saying that.

If you don't count, I don't know,

three or four inaugural balls.

ELIZABETH: You look tired.

I'm out. Killer joke, by the way.

- (LAUGHING): I know. I know.
- JAY: Hey.

Hey, while everybody's here,
I just want to say,

now that the border security
deal is back on track,

we are gonna need to
prepare for discussions

with Mexico about cooperation
on drug enforcement policy

and the ramifications of federal
legalization of marijuana.

So, Blake,

you'll be spearheading

the briefing materials, with support

from Senator Morejon's office.

We've got a lot of work
to do tomorrow, so can we...

But tonight, we're gonna celebrate.

Because we have earned
celebrating together.

- KAT: Hear, hear.
- Yes. Cheers.

- Salud.
- Then again,

while I've got you here,

all dressed up in your
party clothes together,

- and stuffed up with crab puffs...
- Mm-hmm.

...seems like a good time

to tell you that I am going
to run for president.

- What? President?
- I'm shocked. - Get out.

Not a big surprise.

But, um, I'm not going to
officially announce

for a little while.

The most important part is

there's no way I ever
could have gotten here

without every one of you.

And there is no way

I'm going on this journey

without every one of you.

- If you-you want to...
- MATT: I can make some time.

- I'm probably in.
- (OTHERS GRUMBLING)

Oh, stop. Bring it in.

ALL: Cheers.

Cheers, Madam President.

("BABY, I LOVE YOUR WAY"
BY PETER FRAMPTON PLAYING)

♪

Oh, this...

♪ Shadows grow so long... ♪

I love this song.

I love it. This is my favorite song.

I just want to turn it up.

♪ And they're moving ♪

Oh, my God.

- ♪ Across the page ♪
- Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, man.

- It's Peter Frampton.
- ♪ Suddenly, the day turns into night ♪

Ah!

(APPLAUSE)

- ELIZABETH: This is Peter Frampton.
- ♪ Far away ♪

- In my house!
- ♪ From the city ♪

I'm your biggest fan.

The feeling's mutual, Madam Secretary.

And I-I believe I'm playing your song.

♪ But don't ♪

♪ Hesitate ♪

♪ Yeah, your love ♪

♪ Won't wait, yeah ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, baby, I love your way ♪

♪ Every day ♪

♪ I want to tell you I love your way ♪

♪ Every way ♪

♪ I want to be with
you night and day ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. ♪

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