Original subtitles

BAND [SINGING]: There's someone, you've got to meet him

And you see him every day

His face will look familiar But in a most unusual way

He's Norman Normal

I said, he's Norman Normal

You know, he's Norman Normal

He looks a lot like you

Every party that Norman goes to You've been there before

He's got some funny things He might have said

That he forgets until they close the door

He's Norman...

Uh, hi, I'm your hero.

That music, that was the opening number and you'll hear it again at the end.

It's what goes on right in here that's what the cartoon's all about.

Norman, Fairchore's in town tonight.

You, uh... You know the trouble we've had getting him to sign.

He's got a little weakness we've discovered: Liquor. Ha, ha.

I want you to take him to the best clubs. Get him real juiced up.

Keep a copy of the contract in your pocket.

And just before he passes out, slide it under his nose...

...and get him to sign. - Oh, gee.

- I'd rather not do that. - What's that?

Well, I can't take out this man that I don't even know...

...to a night club that I never go to...

...and try to sell him ball bearings by getting him drunk.

Everybody's doing it, Norm.

- Listen, you want the account? - But it just isn't right.

- But nobody will ever know. - But I'll know.

- Your mommy and daddy won't know. - But it's not right.

- Listen, you wanna be in the gang? - Well, sure.

Well, then go take Tommy's glove away or don't come anymore.

- But l... - What's the matter? You chicken?

- Are you afraid? - No.

- Well, I dare you. - Oh, yeah?

- I bet you can't do it. - I can so!

Well, Norm, perhaps...

Perhaps I misjudged you.

- What? - I said, perhaps I misjudged you.

Perhaps you're not the man for the job.

What do you mean?

I don't think you're mature enough to accept executive responsibility.

- Oh, yes, I am. - Perhaps a more aggressive man, Phillip.

- Phillip. Now there's a go-getter. - I can do it, boss.

- Just give me a chance. - Oh, very well, Norman.

Bring the signed contract to me first thing in the morning. That'll be all.

Yes, sir.

NORMAN: Uh, I'm not gonna do it. I'll go in his office and I'll say:

"Look here, B.B., either we've got a good ball bearing or we haven't.

You don't buy favors with alcohol. "

Basically, a psychiatrist is sort of a father-image.

Not that my father would even listen.

I mean, he was always busy. Even though he doesn't say anything to help like:

"Go wash your hands," or "Ask your mother," he's still your dad.

And if he isn't there to answer stuff like:

What's right and wrong, Dad? I mean, I know what's right and wrong...

...but everybody seems to have their own kind.

When I was a boy, I used to walk to school.

Ten miles through the driving snows to this one-room schoolhouse.

Something's not right or wrong just because it's convenient today, is it?

I came out of college, ran smack-dab into the depression...

...men selling apples on the street corner.

Everybody I know seems to live that way.

I didn't have a car. Didn't dream of owning one.

I can remember standing with your mother, waiting for the trolley.

What do you do when your friends say one thing and they do the other...

...and then look down on you if you don't live the way they do?

It's very confusing, Dad.

Now I have two cars, nice home, nice clothes, good food.

We've... Hey, we've done well for you, Norman.

Success, that's the main thing.

Learning to fit in.

Don't make waves, Norman.

Fit in.

Learn to fit in, Norman.

MAN: Approval? Approval? Approval?

- I approve of you, Leo. MAN: Approval.

Approval? Approval?

Hey, Norm? Norm!

- Hey, nice going on the Fairchore account. - Thank you.

Listen, did you hear this one about the traveling salesman...

...and the Eskimo? - No.

Well, there's this traveling salesman who stops up north at the North Pole.

- And he's standing around this igloo... - Listen, I don't wanna interrupt your story...

...but, uh, is this joke you're gonna tell me about a minority group...

...and then after you tell it we're all gonna laugh and feel superior?

Ethnic origin stuff. Ha-ha-ha.

And so just before the icicle breaks, he screams out:

"That was no walrus, that was your wife!"

[ALL LAUGHING]

- Approval? Approval? - Yes, Leo, I approve of you.

Approval? Approval? Approval?

What it'll be, Norm? Want a little Scotch, a little bourbon?

Thanks, Hal. I've had about enough to drink tonight, I think.

What's the matter, Norm? Can't you hold your liquor?

- What? - Would you care for a drink?

No, I'll just have a little ginger ale.

It's a party, Norm. Come on, loosen up! Have fun.

- I'm pretty loose already. - It isn't easy.

You probably don't like yourself...

...when you've had a couple of drinks, do you, Norm?

You can't take it when the real personality comes on, can you, Norm?

Oh, well, skip it, Hal.

Oh, lookit, a guy like you really knows how to spoil a party, Norm.

- Approval, approval. - Go soak your head, Leo.

Gee, I'm sorry that things got a little confusing in there.

I didn't mean for you to get all tangled up.

It's just that there are so many doors in here.

BAND [SINGING]: - problems, but has left them well behind

The only thing he can't handle Are the hang-ups on his mind

- He's Normal Normal - Well...

He's Norman Normal

I said, he's Norman Normal

He looks a lot like you

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