Original subtitles

[NARRATOR READING ON-SCREEN TEXT]

NARRATOR: Here, where happiness, laughter...

... and all the good things in life abounded...

... there dwelt a happy population.

A very, very happy population.

Except for one small, bored and utterly miserable citizen...

... who was just plain fed up.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

NARRATOR: He was, for instance, tired of being able to levitate himself at will.

The whole idea of thought projection had become terribly dull.

He was tired of that too.

[YAWNS]

NARRATOR: In fact, he was just plain tired.

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

[SPACESHIP INSTRUMENTS BEEPING]

NARRATOR: In his search for relief from boredom...

... the small Martian soon reached...

... a young, slightly mildewed and quite smoggy planet.

He cast an observing eye over the native flora...

... the native fauna...

... the primitive animal life...

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

... the native tempo.

And in a flash of a brilliant idea, boredom left the little Martian.

Here, he could revitalize himself...

... give his life fresh meaning by bestowing all the advantages...

... of his own planet's superior culture on these savages.

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

WOMAN: Monster. MAN: Monster.

ALL: Monster!

MEN: Monster!

WOMAN: Monster! MEN: Monster!

NARRATOR: And so he sought out the proper authorities...

What's the matter, bud? You can't park here.

NARRATOR: ... made several important statements...

... and obtained living quarters.

Rearranging his atomic structure to accommodate that of the walls...

... the Martian set out on his dedicated mission.

[STAMMERING] Mm... Mm... Mm...

Mama.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

Terrible thing, this ravening, alien monster roaming the countryside...

...devouring innocent people, bringing terror to the hearts of millions.

And leaving a wake of chaos and sheer horror behind him.

If you can't say something nice about someone...

...you shouldn't say anything at all.

It's the ravening, alien monster roaming the countryside...

...and bringing terror to the hearts of millions!

NARRATOR: This was it.

He must seek out and destroy this ravening monster...

... as the first step of his glorious mission.

[CLANKING NEARBY]

NARRATOR: So suffused with a warm feeling...

... of a great good accomplished...

... our little hero sought new wrongs to right.

Hello, monster.

NARRATOR: Only to have a perceptive young savage...

... supply him with the disturbing information...

... that he, personally, was the ravening monster from outer space.

This fact was all too easily verifiable.

Goodbye, monster.

NARRATOR: Unloved. Unwanted. And as he was before, unhappy.

MAN: Monster. Monster, go home.

NARRATOR: If you're an unwanted monster, what are you gonna do?

Commit suicide?

Why not, if nobody loves you?

But wait.

There is someone, somewhere. Think.

And that is why, out in space...

... way, way out in space...

... there will one day appear a new constellation.

And one thing for sure:

Nobody will ever be bored there.

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