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Hurry, hurry, hurry, folks.
A trip through Chinatown for only 50 cents.
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Watch your step, lady. Watch your step.
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The bus leaves right away.
Just a few seats left.
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Sorry, folks, all filled. Catch the next trip.
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[ALL SPEAKING IN CHINESE]
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ANNOUNCER [ON SPEAKER]:
Attention, please.
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A free eye testthrough the courtesy of Dr. I.C. Spots.
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If you can read this, you are average.
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If you can read this,you are above average.
10
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If you can read this, you are exceptional.
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If you can read this...
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... you are Chinese.
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[ALL HUMMING "MY WILD IRISH ROSE"]
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ALL [SINGING]:
My high-polished nose
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It glows and glows and glows
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If you got a cold, the best remedy sold
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Is Dinkleheimer's Squeak-Stop-
Soothing-Syrup-Anti-Nose Blows
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ALL:
Oh, my high-polished nose
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- It sparkles and gleams at night
ALL: It glows, it glows, it glows
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It flickers and beams so bright
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[SINGING GIBBERISH]
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- All done
ALL: What a life with my high-polished nose
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SINGING:
Even though you're only make-believing
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Laugh, clown, laugh
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[CHUCKLES]
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Even though something inside is grieving
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[CHUCKLING]
Laugh, clown, laugh
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Don't let your heart grow too mellowNo, no
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Just be a real, real Punchinello
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[LAUGHING]
A Punchinello, fellow
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You're suppose to brighten upBrighten up the joint
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Laugh, clown, laugh
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Paint a lot of smiles around your faceLaugh, laugh, clown
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Don't frownNo, sir, j... Just be a vessel of jubi...
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[LAUGHS]
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Be a pagliaccio
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[GUFFAWING]
Oh, laugh, laugh, clown
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[LAUGHING]
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[VAUDEVILLIAN MUSIC PLAYING]
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[UPBEAT LATIN MUSIC PLAYING]
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