Original subtitles

This looks like a swell place for the picnic, Charlie.

Come on, Charlie, let's have fun.

Get the stick. Get the stick and work up an appetite. That's a good dog.

Oh, brother. Imagine me falling for that old:

"Come on, let's have a picnic" routine.

I lose more darn masters that way.

Oh, well. There's lots of other fish in the ocean.

Big-soulful-eyes routine.

Gets them every time.

Well, nearly every time.

This is ridiculous.

Everybody wants a dog.

[PORKY SINGING "OLD MacDONALD HAD A FARM"]

Well, you couldn't ask for a better pigeon than that.

CHARLIE: Hi there, neighbor.

Hey, look, chum. You ain't got no pet, I ain't got no master.

What a pity, what a pity.

Such a lovely farm and no dog.

I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll make you a proposition.

You can be my master and I'll be your dog.

No, I don't want a dog. l...

Don't be mizzled, brother.

In me, you get all the good rolled into one.

I am 50 percent pointer.

There it is. There it is. There it is.

Fifty percent boxer.

[GRUNTING]

Fifty percent setter.

Irish setter.

Fifty percent watchdog, 50 percent spitz.

[SPITS]

Fifty percent Doberman pinscher.

Ow! Ouch!

But mostly, I'm all Labrador retriever.

Oh, you are not a Labrador retriever.

- I'm not? - No.

Look, if you doubt my word, get me a Labrador and I'll retrieve it for you.

That's fair, isn't it?

A Labrador?

Why, sure, I... I...

- Have you got a Labrador? - No.

- Know where you can get a Labrador? - No.

Then shut up.

[PORKY GRO ANS]

[CHARLIE YELLS]

If there's one thing I don't need around here, it's a terri...

A sett... A Doberma... A dog.

Yes?

PORKY: And stay out.

[SINGING "OLD MACDONALD HAD A FARM"]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Hey, what do you say we have some ham and eggs?

[SINGING TO THE TUNE OF "ROCK-A-BYE-BABY"]

Now get out. Out, out, out!

- You mean...? - Yes. I mean out, out, out!

Get out!

But I thought...

[CRYING]

- I... - What are you...?

Well, gee, you dirty, forlorn old dog, I didn't...

All my life, I've dreamed of the day I could go and live in the country.

I'm not strong.

I need lots of fresh air, and milk and cream.

And fresh, leafy vegetables.

- But I... - Good, clean, wholesome farm living.

- But I... - And now...

Now...

...now that I got a chance to regain my health...

...you wanna send me back to the city.

The city.

I can see it all now.

Its high towers. Cold, cruel, ominous.

Closing down on you from every side till you can't breathe.

Closer, closer.

You can't breathe.

The traffic. You can't think.

[IMITATES CAR HORNS HONKING]

Look out for that truck! Honk! Honk!

Look out for that taxi!

[IMITATING TRAFFIC SOUNDS]

Hark, what's that?

Look, it's the towers.

They're falling!

[SCREAMS]

Why, you poor, unsanitary, old, underprivileged mongrel, you.

I didn't know.

You can stay and get all wholesome and clean-lived like me.

And get all nourished like you?

Yeah, and a nice sleeping bag to sleep in.

Oh, goodie.

[SINGING] I'm gonna sleep in a sleeping bag And I'm gonna have rosy cheeks

Here you are, you pathetic, sallow creature, you.

- Get in. - Oh, goodie.

I get to go beddy-bye.

I want a drink of water and I want a cookie and I want a story.

[PORKY LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

[IN SCOTTISH ACCENT] Hi, there, jack-o. Aye, and it's braw good to be back.

[PLAYING BAGPIPES]

All right, all right. Stop, stop.

Okay, you can be my dog and I'll be your master.

- I can? - Yes.

And I'll tell you what we'll do.

- We'll go on a nice picnic. - A picnic?

Really? Can we go on a picnic, huh? Can we, huh, huh? Can we, huh?

This looks like a swell place for the picnic, Charlie.

Come on, Charlie boy, let's have fun.

Get the stick, Charlie. Get the stick.

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