Original subtitles

MAN 1: And stay out.

[GRUNTS]

Hmm. Hmm.

This is ridiculous.

A fine dog like me treated like a tramp.

All because I haven't got a home.

I just don't get it.

I'm a bargain too.

I'm gratis.

And I'm lovable. Mwah!

[SPITTING]

I make friends easy.

Hello, birds. Hello, flowers.

Hello, tree. Hello, sky.

Hello, caterpillar.

Hello, fence post.

MAN 2 [SINGING]: Oh, boll my weevil And corn my pone

You'll never be lonely 'Cause you're never alone

When you're way down South

I said, a-way down South

Watch me endear myself into a good home.

COLONEL: In the warm summer sun Where the girls have tulips...

Just lean back and relax.

[SINGING] Yankee Doodle went to town A- riding on a pony...

- Yankee! - Stuck a feather in his hat...

Get off of my plantation, you...

- You carpetbagger. - Plantation?

[IN SOUTHERN ACCENT] Are you from the South?

I'm not only from it, sir, I'm in it.

Well, shut my fat old mouth and stuff me with chitlins.

I'm from the South too.

I'll tell you what, I'll be your little old dog and you all can be my little old master.

Agreed, sir?

Well, yuck-yuck-yuck and a-fiddle-dee-dee.

That's settled, uh, be you all.

Oh, Belvedere.

Come here, boy.

[PANTING]

[GROWLS]

What is the meaning of this, sir?

You invite me into your home then you insult me...

...by having that... That dog around.

I tell you, sir, this is too much.

Either he goes or either I go.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Hey, what do you say...

...we have some sowbelly and cornpone for lunch?

If it wasn't for you, Belvedere, I'd stand a better chance around here.

So...

[AS COLONEL] Oh, Belvedere.

Come here, boy.

[PANTING]

Ah, magnolias.

[SCREAMS]

[GUNFIRE]

[PLAYING FANFARE]

[PANTING]

[WEAKLY] Help.

Why, it's one of our boys.

[IN SOUTHERN ACCENT] Oh, sir, it was terrible, sir.

But I managed to save the regiment.

Chitlins forever, y'all.

Don't you go fretting now, lad. I'll take care of you.

[GASPS]

Yankees to the right of us. Doodles to the left.

Is there anything else I can do for you?

- Some food, perhaps? - [IN NORMAL VOICE] Yes.

How about some Yankee pot roast?

Why, Belvedere, asleep again?

CHARLIE [IN COLONEL'S VOICE]: Oh, Belvedere.

Come here, boy.

[GRUNTING]

Ah, magnolias.

[GASPS]

CHARLIE [IN COLONEL'S VOICE]: Oh, Belvedere.

Come here, boy.

[BELVEDERE GRUNTING]

So long, Belvedere.

[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

If you're up that way, say hello to an aunt of mine in Boston.

Boston? Why, you Yankee, I'Il...

South Boston.

Alabama.

Well, uh, in that event, I suppose you can be my dog.

[IN SOUTHERN ACCENT] Sure enough.

You mean I can stay and get all Southified like y'all?

And listen to the boll weevil picking cotton all the livelong day?

And can I eat possum till I can't eat no more?

Morning, colonel. Right smart-Iooking piece of dog you got there.

Yes, sir. I always wanted a canine like that.

I would treat him like a king.

Lots of food.

Lots of rest.

Lots of pampering.

Say no more, honeysuckle. I'm yours.

- But, sir, l... - [IN NORMAL VOICE] You keep out of this.

You and your Southern hospitality.

And besides, my aunt lives in North Boston, Massachusetts.

[IN SOUTHERN ACCENT] Let's go home, Father. I'm tired.

I want breakfast in bed, and moonlight serenades...

...and alcohol rubs.

By the way, where is my new home?

There!

COLONEL: Oh, Belvedere.

Come here, boy.

BOTH [SINGING]: Good times there are not forgotten

Look away down south in Dixie

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