Original subtitles

The case of the Big Bad Wolf

(FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW PLAYING)

versus Little Red Riding Hood.

I'm innocent. Really, I am.

(ALL BOOING)

Defense attorney, present your case.

Your Honor and gentlemen of the jury, there are two sides to every story.

You're all familiar with Red Riding Hood's side of the story, yeah!

Red Riding Hood,

that woman who has guilt written all over her face!

But now I want you to hear the wolf's side of the story.

Mr. Wolf.

Well, it was like this.

It's a Sunday afternoon and I'm coming home from the pool hall...

I mean, Sunday school. I'm always going to Sunday school.

I'm skipping along, full of the spirit of brotherly love.

I'm picking flowers for me mother.

I'm always thinking of me dear old mother.

(BIRD CHIRPING)

I'm conversing with Mother Nature.

Hello, little birdie.

Go on, you jerk! Act your own age!

Now you get the picture?

There I am, minding me own business,

and what do you think is going on behind me back?

Sabotage!

(PRETENDING TO CRY)

A skirt in distress.

Why dost thou weep, toots... Fair maid?

I've lost my way to Grandmama's house. Really, I have.

- Really? - Really.

Don't cry, little girl. I'll find the way to your old lady's joint.

Follow me.

Oh, here it is.

Oh, so it is.

(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)

(DOORBELL BUZZING)

(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)

Oh, gosh, it hurts!

Hey, what's that?

It's Grandmama. She has a terrific hangover.

Oh, I mean, she's very, very ill.

Won't you come in and cheer her up?

My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf.

The better to observe the wonders of Mother Nature with, Grandma.

My, what a beautiful fur coat you have.

Should bring about 35 bucks.

So soft, silky, smooth, sleek and stunning.

Well, I try to be tidy.

My, what a big mallet you've got, Grandma!

All the better to get a new fur coat!

(SHRIEKS)

(CHOKING)

(PANTING)

And it was only through a miracle that I escaped with me life.

And if that ain't the truth, I hope I get run over by a streetcar.

(BELL CLANGING)

Well, maybe I did exaggerate just a little bit.

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