Original subtitles

It's bedtime, Teeny. Let's put on your sleepers.

Will you tell me a bedtime story, Granny? Will you, Granny?

Tell me a real scary one, will you, Granny? Will you, huh?

All right, all right. Off to bed.

Well, let's see now.

Tell me a real long one, huh, Granny? A real long one.

All right, all right. Don't interrupt.

Now... Oh, yes.

Once upon a time, long, long ago,

there was a little girl called Red Riding Hood.

And they called her Red Riding Hood because she always wore a red cape.

One day, Red Riding Hood set out to see her grandma.

Oh, she was very happy as she tripped gaily through the wildflowers.

And, as she approached the deep, dark forest,

she did not know that lurking in its shadows was the Big Bad Wolf.

(LISPING) Well, sufferin' succotash, a tasty little morsel.

Grandma's house, eh?

Well, I'll take the shortcut through the woods.

Come on, you guys! Scram!

Go find your own fairy story.

I told you this wouldn't work.

(LISPING) Everybody wants to get into the act.

(GIGGLING)

- Cigarette? - I don't smoke.

Beat it!

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Come in Little Re...

(IN FEMININE VOICE) Come in, Little Red Riding Hood.

If I'd have known you were coming, I would have baked a cheesecake.

My, Granny, what big bags you have under your big bloodshot eyes.

And, Granny, what a big red nose you got.

The better to sniff you with.

(DRAWING IN BREATH)

And my, what big teeth you've got.

That's the line I've been waiting for. That's my cue line.

The better to eat you with.

(CRASHING)

(CRASHING)

Open the door! Open it up, I say!

Or I'll huff and I'II...

(PANTING) Puff, and I'll blow your house down!

(PANTING)

Okay, so I won't blow your house down. I'll do better than that!

I'll blow it up!

(EXPLODES)

(BLOWS)

Yes, who is it?

I'm your fairy godmother. I've come to grant you a wish.

Really?

Well, I wish... No, I don't want that.

Come on, step on it! I got a lot of fairy-godmothering to do.

Okay, I got a wish. Tap me.

(IN FEMININE VOICE) Now, for the magic words,

R-A-G-G-

M-O-P-P.

What's this?

Must have blown a fuse or something.

It's a fake. Nothing happens.

What do you mean, nothing happens?

(EX CLAIMS) Now I gotcha.

(HAMMERING)

Stick 'em up!

(CHUCKLES)

GRANNY: And there was poor Little Red Riding Hood

trapped in her own house,

because waiting outside her door was the Big Bad Wolf,

ready to pounce on her if she ever came out.

What happened, Granny? What did she do?

Well, luckily Little Red Riding Hood found a large firecracker,

left over from the Fourth of July.

So she lit it and tossed it right out where he was.

(EXPLODES)

Granny, I bet that blew him all up.

(LISPING) You're not just whistling Dixie, brother.

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