Original subtitles

NARRATOR: Once upon a time, long, long ago,

in the midst of a beautiful green forest...

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

... there was a quaint little cottage.

And in this cottage, there lived three bears.

The Papa Bear,

the Mama Bear,

and the Baby Bear,

ready to eat their three bowls of porridge.

There.

There.

And there.

- The Baby Bear said... - Gee, this stuff's too hot!

The Mama Bear said...

(EXCLAIMING) It is too hot!

And the Papa Bear said...

(LAUGHING)

Soup's too hot!

(SLURPING)

(GULPING)

Hot stuff.

(LAUGHING)

NARRATOR: Knowing that the porridge was too hot, the Mama Bear suggested...

Come, now, let's all go for a ride until the porridge cools.

So she picked up her hat,

and out the door went the Three Bears,

the Baby Bear, the Mama Bear, and the Papa Bear.

And into the beautiful green forest

rode the Three Bears.

The Papa Bear,

the Mama Bear,

and the Baby Bear.

Meanwhile, through the beautiful green forest

came Little Goldilocks.

Suddenly she stopped, and there was a house.

She knocked on the door.

Come in, Little Red...

(CLEARING THROAT)

(IN FEMININE VOICE) Come in, Little Red Riding Hood.

Hey! What is this, a frame-up? Who are you?

(STUTTERING) Why, I'm Little Goldilocks.

Isn't this where the Three Bears live?

No, this isn't where the Three Bears live!

That outfit lives two miles down the road at the first stop signal.

Now scram out of here before you spoil everything!

This is Grandma's dump, and I'm waiting for Red Riding Hood.

What's Red Riding Hood got that I haven't got?

(CHUCKLES)

What's Red Riding Hood got that she hasn't got...

Say, why didn't I think of that?

Yeah!

Let's see, now. Goldilocks, Goldilocks, Goldilocks...

Oh, here it is!

Yeah! That's it!

Hey, taxi!

(WHISTLES)

To the Three Bears' House, and step on it! I'll take care of any tickets!

NARRATOR: Speeding homeward to eat their porridge came the Three Bears.

(MIMICKING SIREN BLARING)

(LAUGHING)

(BLARING AT HIGHER PITCH)

(BLARING AT HIGHER PITCH)

Sound kind of like a police car, don't it?

NARRATOR: Now, up to the Three Bears'House

skipped Little Goldilocks.

She opened the doors.

But waiting upstairs...

Meanwhile, through another section of the beautiful green forest

came little Red Riding Hood.

Up to Grandma 's house.

She opened the door.

Grandma! Oh, Grandma!

NARRA TOR. After eating the porridge, up the stairs went sleepy Little Goldilocks.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

- Oh, hello, Goldie? - Yes!

This is Red Riding Hood.

Say, kid, I just found a note on my Grandma's pillow

from that skunk, the Wolf.

Here, take a look.

Well, gee, thanks a lot, Red. See you later.

(COIN RATTLING)

NARRATOR: Hurrying home to their porridge came the Three Bears.

And they ate mine all up!

(GASPING)

(SNEEZES)

ALL: Robbers!

Now, Ma, you and Junior stay right here. I'll go upstairs and take care of that crook.

(LAUGHING)

I know there ain't no robber up there. Just a little tiny girl named Goldilocks.

(WHISPERING) I read this story last week in Reader's Digest.

(LAUGHING)

You come out of that bed, you cute little curly-headed rascal!

(LAUGHING)

(STAMMERING)

NARRATOR: So, over the hill went the Three Bears.

The Papa Bear, the Mama Bear,

and the Little Bear behind.

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