Original subtitles

(BUGS EXCLAIMS)

Wow! What a belt!

These Pennsylvania hardwoods ain't too soft.

Who is that delicious young creature, Emily?

Oh. Oh, good morning, ladies... Lady.

Could you tell me the shortest route to Pittsburgh?

Doesn't he look sweet and crunchy, Agatha?

Oh, well, never mind.

I'll just check at that motel over there.

Boy, they don't make places like this anymore.

Be a wonderful place for a vacation.

(CHIMING)

Sorry to disturb you, sir.

I know it's late, but I seem to be off me course.

COUNT: No, no, it's never too late.

Come in.

Yeah, well, you see, I just want to call me travel agency.

They've routed me off me route.

Boy, keen-Iooking lobby they got here.

Telephones, telephones...

Why do hotels always hide their telephone booths?

Oh, yeah. You must be the headwaiter.

Count Bloodcount at your service, sir.

Yeah. Well, look, Con, about those telephones...

Telephones? Telephones?

Oh, yes. Right this way.

Say, nice little plant you've got here, doc.

Interesting decor. Homey. Comfortable.

Nice recreational facilities.

Nothing like family portraits to brighten up a place, I always say.

COUNT: This is your room.

Yeah, sure, doc.

But I don't want a room. I just want a telephone.

Rest first. Telephone tomorrow.

Rest is good for the blood.

(YAWNING)

Well, I am a little fah-tee-gued.

Goodbye, little friend.

I mean, good night.

Asleep yet?

Nope.

Well, ring if you need anything.

Cup of cyanide or like that.

Same old problem.

I just can't sleep in a strange bed, no matter how nice the place is.

Hey, that's what I need. Something to read.

Magic Words and Phrases. Sounds interesting. Yeah.

Hmm. "Magic can be performed either by potions

"or by the use of magic words and phrases.

"Among the most powerful of these is the word aba... Abracadabra."

Yeah. Oh, sure, it is. Sick humor.

It is to laugh. Magic words.

Golly, what big mosquitoes they do have around here.

Hold still, you little devil. There!

"Another highly useful magic word is hocus-pocus."

Anyone we know, Agatha?

No. Splendid-Iooking specimen, though.

Boy, I hope the restaurant's still open.

I haven't eaten since I left Cucamonga.

(BUGS HUMMING)

(SINGING) Abracadabra

Another one? They ought to screen this place.

(COUGHING)

(BUGS HUMMING)

(SINGING) Hocus-pocus

I am a vampire.

Oh, yeah? Well, abracadabra. I'm an umpire!

Hocus-pocus. I'm a bat.

Okay, I'm a bat, too. Abracadabra!

You wouldn't hit a bat with glasses on, would you?

COUNT: Hocus-pocus!

Now I crush you!

Abracadabra.

(CRASHING)

COUNT: (MUFFLED) Hocus-pocus.

Abracadabra.

(CRASHING)

COUNT: (MUFFLED) Hocus-pocus.

Abracadabra.

(CRASHING)

Abraca-pocus.

Hmm. Hocus-cadabra.

Newport News.

Wow, I can do better than that.

Walla Walla, Washington.

Oh, girls!

Emily, look! It's our little friend.

Look, Emily!

AGATHA: Isn't it romantic?

I always said four heads are better than one.

Well, a telephone at last.

Hello, operator?

Will you please get me the Acme Travel Service

in Perth Amboy, USA?

(HUMMING)

(SINGING) Abraca-pocus

Hello, operator? You can cancel that call, please.

I think I'll fly home instead.

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