Original subtitles

What carrots!

Look at this tired specimen!

I haven't seen a decent carrot for months around these parts.

Alabama! Well, I'm Alabama bound!

I wonder why they put the South so far south.

Well, shut my mouth and call me corn pone,

if it ain't the little ol' South!

Low.

Charge!

Get back there, you danged Yankee!

Great horny toads, I'm up North!

Gotta burn my boots. They touched Yankee soil.

Lay down your arms and step forward, Yankee!

What's the hassle, Smassel?

My orders from General Lee is to hold the Mason Dixie Line.

And no Yankees are crossing it.

General Lee?

Why, the War Between the States ended almost 90 years ago!

I'm no clock watcher!

And until I hears from General Lee official,

I'm a-blasting any Yankee that sets foot on Southern soil.

So, scram, Yankee!

Well, it's one of our boys.

Hey there, boy.

How about giving out with something peppy on that there skin-box, huh?

Ya, over.

Yankee's Doodle!

You traitor!

Don't beat me, Master. Please don't beat me, Master.

Don't beat that tired old body! No! Don't!

What's this I hear about you whipping slaves?

But, but, but...

Never mind the buts, here's my card.

Look me up at my Gettysburg address.

Charge!

Okay, you furbearing carpetbagger!

I'm a-giving you one second to come out or I'll blow you out!

Time's up!

Oh, I hate that rabbit!

General Brickwall Jackson!

Sir.

Attention!

Foward, march!

Hut, two, three, four. Hut, two, three, four.

Left. March! Hut, two, three, four.

About face! Hut, two, three, four.

Right! March! Rear! March!

On the double march!

Company, halt!

Fall in!

Charge!

Oh, it's one of our boys.

Sorry, Scarlett, ma'am.

Sorry to have to intrude, but there's a Yankee about.

Oh! A Yankee? How terrible.

I'm afraid I'll have to search your premises.

He's not in here. He's not in here!

So, that's where he's hiding!

Sorry, Scarlett, ma'am, but I have to do my duty.

Okay, Yankee, stick 'em...

...up.

He's not in here. He's not in here!

I'll take your word for it, ma'am.

Colonel, the Yankees...

The Yankees, they're in Chattanooga.

Chattanooguee?

Charge!

The first dang Yankee that steps out of that dugout

gets his head blasted off.

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