Original subtitles

Hurry! Step right this way, friends.

Yes, sir, ladies and gentlemen...

the greatest aggregation of talent ever to be presented...

on any vaudeville stage.

Fifteen sensational acts!

Fifteen elaborate scenes!

Pardon me.

Butterfingers and Clumsy: the world's foremost jugglers!

Fearless Freep and his sensational high-diving act.

Fearless Freep!

That's my boy!

Step aside, son, you bother me!

Yes, sir, gentlemen, 15 sensational acts for 15 cents.

Give me a ticket! Give me a whole mess of them.

I'm a-splurging.

Bring on Fearless Freep! On with the show!

Come on! Quit stalling!

Bring on Freep!

Now, ladies and gentlemen, let me direct your attention...

to the high-diving platform 500 feet above the stage.

From this dizzy height, Fearless Freep...

the world's most daring high-diving artist...

will execute his death-defying dive...

into a bucket of water placed upon the stage below.

Now, ladies and gentlemen...

Pardon me, just a minute.

Telegram.

Quiet, please!

Ladies and gentlemen, due to an unfortunate delay...

Fearless Freep will be unable to perform his high-diving act today.

What?

I paid my four bits to see the high-diving act...

and I'm a-gonna see the high-diving act!

- You see, friend, the fellow that... - Yeah?

Someone is going to do that high-diving act!

- And that someone's a-gonna be you! - Me?

No, doc, not me.

You see, I'm scared of high places. I get dizzy spells.

Goose bumps on my goose bumps.

You talked me into it.

No stalling! Now keep a-moving!

All right! Quit shoving!

Come on! Get a-going!

Now, you varmint! Dive!

Okay, but you gotta close your eyes while I put on my bathing suit.

All right. But make it snappy!

Ready.

Splash!

By gar! The critter went and done it.

This I gotta see.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, for our next attraction...

I said, I aim to see you dive, and I'm a-going to!

Here I go again.

One for the money, two for the show...

three to make ready, and four to go!

Bon voyage!

I forgot to fill the tank with water.

Ladies and gentlemen, our next attraction.

Up, you. Up you go.

Where is he? Where's the critter at?

What's up, doc?

Great horny toads!

What are you doing down there upside downy?

I'm not upside down, doc. You are. Look.

Bright boy!

Now you dog-blasted, ornery, no-account, long-eared varmint!

Just a minute, you. Them's fighting words.

Yeah, them's fighting words.

- I dare you to step across this line. - I'm a-stepping.

I hate you!

Open up that door!

You notice I didn't say ''Richard''?

Come on, open up, or I'll bust her down!

Here I come!

Quick! Him go that way.

You take shortcut. Head him off at pass.

Thank you, stranger.

Now, you smarty-pants, let's see you get out of this one!

This time you're a-diving.

I know this defies the law of gravity...

but, you see, I never studied law.

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