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1
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:16,177
You had to use
the facilities the other day.
2
00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:20,519
Oh, fucking Alexander.
3
00:00:20,555 --> 00:00:22,355
Mmm�hmm. This is
where the dicks hang out.
4
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:23,790
Oh, that's right.
Gail had told me
5
00:00:23,825 --> 00:00:25,525
you're helping with
clean up here now, eh?
6
00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:27,730
(CHUCKLES) Shake more than once
and we know what you're doing.
7
00:00:27,762 --> 00:00:29,062
How long you been at it?
8
00:00:29,097 --> 00:00:30,697
48 fiscal hours.
9
00:00:30,732 --> 00:00:33,702
More than enough time to see
a nightmare or two in here, eh.
10
00:00:33,735 --> 00:00:35,335
Sometimes there's shit,
11
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,109
on the outside
of the torlet.
12
00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:41,243
�Huh?
�Sometimes there's shit,
13
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:42,675
on the outside
of the torlet.
14
00:00:42,711 --> 00:00:44,511
Huh. Is that right?
15
00:00:44,546 --> 00:00:46,616
If you think that's bad,
you should see the uriness.
16
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,722
�Huh?
�If you think that's bad,
17
00:00:49,751 --> 00:00:51,151
you should see the uriness.
18
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:52,485
They get pretty
hairy over there?
19
00:00:52,521 --> 00:00:53,821
Sometimes there's shit,
20
00:00:53,855 --> 00:00:55,485
on the outside
of the uriness.
21
00:00:55,524 --> 00:00:57,634
�What?
�Sometimes there's shit,
22
00:00:57,659 --> 00:00:59,459
on the outside
of the uriness.
23
00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:01,133
Fuck a duck.
24
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:02,332
Well, how do you think
it got there?
25
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:04,403
Remember how I said,
sometimes there's shit
26
00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:05,802
on the outside
of the torlet?
27
00:01:05,834 --> 00:01:07,644
�Yeah.
�Well, I'll bet the shit
28
00:01:07,669 --> 00:01:09,299
got on the outside
of the uriness,
29
00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:11,167
the same way the shit
got on the outside
30
00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:12,805
�of the torlet.
�Didn't that sound...
31
00:01:13,875 --> 00:01:15,635
This piss
is now streaming.
32
00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:19,311
�Wayne?
�No.
33
00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:21,447
How are you now?
Not so bad.
Good, and you?
34
00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:24,552
�Alexander.
�Out there, you're Canadian.
35
00:01:24,586 --> 00:01:26,856
In here... European.
36
00:01:26,888 --> 00:01:28,718
Oh, shit.
37
00:01:28,757 --> 00:01:30,687
Looks like someone
unswallowed over there.
38
00:01:30,725 --> 00:01:31,855
Hmm. If you think
that's bad,
39
00:01:31,893 --> 00:01:35,233
sometimes there's shit,
on the outside of the torlet.
40
00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:36,403
�Huh?
�If you think that's bad,
41
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:39,270
sometimes there's shit,
on the outside of the torlet.
42
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:40,600
I spray the seat
from time to time
43
00:01:40,635 --> 00:01:42,235
when I've got
crap on tap,
44
00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:43,870
but I never miss
the bowl entirely.
45
00:01:43,905 --> 00:01:45,805
Fuckin degens
need to mind their scruples.
46
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,680
If you think that's bad,
you should see the uriness.
47
00:01:47,709 --> 00:01:49,109
�Huh?
�You think that's bad,
48
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:50,313
you should see the uriness.
49
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:51,754
Hmm. Pretty hairy over there?
50
00:01:51,780 --> 00:01:54,180
Sometimes there's shit,
on the outside of the uriness.
51
00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:55,745
�What?
�Sometimes there's shit,
52
00:01:55,784 --> 00:01:57,494
on the outside
of the uriness.
53
00:01:57,519 --> 00:01:58,749
How the fuck
did shit get there?
54
00:01:58,787 --> 00:02:00,687
Remember when I said,
sometimes there's shit
55
00:02:00,722 --> 00:02:02,292
on the outside of the torlet?
56
00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:04,193
Feels like you told me that
nearly a year ago now.
57
00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:05,725
Though we're kind of burning
daylight here, eh?
58
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:07,200
�Mmm�hmm.
�I bet the shit
59
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:08,728
got on the outside
of the uriness,
60
00:02:08,763 --> 00:02:10,463
the same way the shit
got on the outside
61
00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:13,198
�of the torlet.
�Uh�oh.
62
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:14,404
No offense or nothing,
but I think
63
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:16,265
I rather just
piss outside, Alexander.
64
00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:18,374
I just came in
to wash my hands.
65
00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:19,436
Why are you washing
your hands?
66
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:20,913
�Had a dart.
�Hm.
67
00:02:20,942 --> 00:02:22,382
Well, I'd have
a dart.
68
00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:23,780
Maybe I'd have
a dart with you
69
00:02:23,812 --> 00:02:25,582
and then wash my hands
after that dart.
70
00:02:25,614 --> 00:02:26,624
Hey gents.
71
00:02:27,816 --> 00:02:29,416
I know how the shit
got on the outside
72
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:31,620
of the torlet
and also the uriness,
73
00:02:31,653 --> 00:02:33,763
but why would someone
74
00:02:33,788 --> 00:02:35,918
take a shit on the outside
of the torlet
75
00:02:35,957 --> 00:02:37,327
and also the uriness?
76
00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:43,299
'Cause that's where
the dicks hang out.
77
00:02:43,965 --> 00:02:46,165
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
78
00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:55,679
�Wayne.
�Katy.
79
00:02:56,344 --> 00:02:57,654
What are you
up to today?
80
00:02:57,679 --> 00:02:59,209
�What abouts?
�This aft.
81
00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:00,377
What, like this
afternoon�ish?
82
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:01,454
This afternoon�ish, yeah.
83
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:02,952
Well, I'd have
to check my agenda.
84
00:03:02,984 --> 00:03:04,624
�You check your log?
�Check your records?
85
00:03:04,653 --> 00:03:05,923
Well, I checked
your day planner
86
00:03:05,954 --> 00:03:08,464
and your logged line
underlined it in bold
87
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:10,219
and highlighted
in italics.
88
00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:11,288
Oh?
89
00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:12,655
Anything, uh,
ringing a bell?
90
00:03:12,694 --> 00:03:14,234
�Striking a cord?
�Drumming on up?
91
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:15,762
Oh, that's right.
92
00:03:15,797 --> 00:03:18,197
ALL: Yard sale Saturday!
93
00:03:18,232 --> 00:03:19,672
Super fucking shooters.
94
00:03:19,701 --> 00:03:20,741
You boys
ready to dicker?
95
00:03:20,769 --> 00:03:21,839
Well, you always
gotta dicker.
96
00:03:21,870 --> 00:03:23,610
Heard McMurray's got
a real good spread this year.
97
00:03:23,638 --> 00:03:25,408
�How big a spread?
�Like good size spread.
98
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:26,809
What, like
two�three table spread?
99
00:03:26,841 --> 00:03:27,881
No, like three�five
table spread.
100
00:03:27,909 --> 00:03:29,239
A three to five tabler!
101
00:03:29,277 --> 00:03:30,777
Gail's tabling
all of her old glassware
102
00:03:30,812 --> 00:03:31,912
so I'll get a set or two.
103
00:03:31,946 --> 00:03:32,976
Well, Katy, you better
make sure you got
104
00:03:33,014 --> 00:03:34,354
fucking room for another set.
105
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:35,922
There's plenty of room
for another set.
106
00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:37,790
Katy, there's such a thing
as too much sets,
107
00:03:37,819 --> 00:03:39,289
a gal oughta be
fucking aware of it.
108
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,560
Dan, you still gonna be
after old books?
109
00:03:40,589 --> 00:03:42,919
Well, same as you is gonna be
on the hunt for old pornos Dary.
110
00:03:42,957 --> 00:03:45,757
Yeah, I bet the McMurray's got
a good spread on their spread.
111
00:03:45,794 --> 00:03:47,004
And there'll be lots of
old tins
112
00:03:47,028 --> 00:03:48,658
and signage for you,
big brother.
113
00:03:48,697 --> 00:03:50,497
Good buddy, how that
get to be your niche?
114
00:03:50,532 --> 00:03:51,702
Old signs and tins?
115
00:03:51,733 --> 00:03:53,333
Well, it's the history
of it I like.
116
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:54,567
It's the history, you see.
117
00:03:54,603 --> 00:03:56,373
Where it started,
why it started,
118
00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:57,514
where it's been.
119
00:03:57,539 --> 00:03:59,439
Professor Tricia says,
lots of those old corporations
120
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,443
were run by racists and that
they should just be left
121
00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:03,275
in the waste paper basket
where they belong.
122
00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:04,651
Well, I should tell
Professor Tricia
123
00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:06,309
if you don't understand
where you came from,
124
00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:07,747
you never understand
where you are.
125
00:04:07,782 --> 00:04:09,482
�Bak�set.
�Attaboy.
126
00:04:09,518 --> 00:04:10,918
Well, make sure
she dickers.
127
00:04:10,952 --> 00:04:12,022
Well, you always
gotta dicker.
128
00:04:12,053 --> 00:04:14,263
Wayne, why don't you tell us
the Canadian Pickers'
129
00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:15,318
guide to dickering?
130
00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:16,886
You mean
the greatest Canadian
131
00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:18,685
feelgood show
of all time,
132
00:04:18,727 --> 00:04:20,557
�Canadian Pickers?
�Yep.
133
00:04:20,595 --> 00:04:22,295
�Step one.
�Identify item
134
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:23,600
and recite
some history on it
135
00:04:23,632 --> 00:04:25,832
to establish genuine interest
in the said item.
136
00:04:25,867 --> 00:04:28,537
�Step two.
�Ask the seller,
137
00:04:28,570 --> 00:04:30,640
what are you gonna need
to have out of that?
138
00:04:30,672 --> 00:04:32,012
�Step three.
�No matter what price
139
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,980
the seller gives you,
tell the seller,
140
00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:35,938
"Well, that sounds like
retail to me."
141
00:04:35,977 --> 00:04:37,007
KATY: Step four.
142
00:04:37,045 --> 00:04:38,605
Circle back on step two
143
00:04:38,647 --> 00:04:40,277
and ask the seller,
144
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,954
"What's the absolute best
you can do on it?"
145
00:04:42,984 --> 00:04:44,024
And step five?
146
00:04:44,052 --> 00:04:45,792
If the seller holds firm,
147
00:04:45,820 --> 00:04:46,790
bundle item of interest in
148
00:04:46,821 --> 00:04:48,891
with a few other items
to get the price down
149
00:04:48,923 --> 00:04:50,733
to one you're
comfortable paying.
150
00:04:50,759 --> 00:04:52,489
�Bob's your uncle.
�Masterful.
151
00:04:52,527 --> 00:04:53,797
That's how
you fucking dicker.
152
00:04:53,828 --> 00:04:54,928
Well, you always
gotta dicker.
153
00:04:56,798 --> 00:04:58,398
Are one of youse
wearing perfume?
154
00:04:58,432 --> 00:05:00,302
Men aren't supposed
to wear perfume, Katy.
155
00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:01,704
She might means cologne,
good buddies.
156
00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:03,966
Could be eau de toilette
'cause that's unisex.
157
00:05:04,005 --> 00:05:05,765
Oh, what fucking isn't
these days?
158
00:05:05,807 --> 00:05:07,907
Sounds like someone's
going on a date.
159
00:05:07,942 --> 00:05:09,482
Well, it's not a date.
It's a...
160
00:05:10,912 --> 00:05:11,952
go along.
161
00:05:11,980 --> 00:05:13,310
Sounds like
a date to me.
162
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:14,547
No, it's not a date.
It's a...
163
00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:17,320
walkabout.
164
00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:18,691
Rosie came calling.
165
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:19,820
Is it racist to say that
166
00:05:19,854 --> 00:05:21,924
I think Rosie looks a whole
lot like Princess Jasmine?
167
00:05:21,956 --> 00:05:23,456
No, we're just gonna
take the dogs
168
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:24,631
for a run there, so.
169
00:05:24,659 --> 00:05:25,759
Hmm. Doggy date.
170
00:05:25,794 --> 00:05:28,004
Sounds like a pretty choice
afternoon, big brother.
171
00:05:28,029 --> 00:05:29,359
Some say the choicest.
172
00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:30,727
Well, I'm gonna
bring Dierks.
173
00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:32,425
So, see if Rosie
wants to come too.
174
00:05:33,935 --> 00:05:35,935
(GRUMBLING)
175
00:05:40,542 --> 00:05:42,612
Couple of five�elevens,
if I've ever seen 'em.
176
00:05:42,644 --> 00:05:44,454
�Huh?
�You're fucking average.
177
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:46,718
Do you think
Bush did 5/11?
178
00:05:46,748 --> 00:05:48,448
Update.
179
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:50,622
Uh, we couldn't exactly...
180
00:05:50,652 --> 00:05:51,922
get the club
off the ground.
181
00:05:51,953 --> 00:05:53,453
You're kidding.
182
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:54,557
Told ya. Pay up.
183
00:05:56,157 --> 00:05:58,427
That's strike one.
Moving on.
184
00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:00,129
BROdude has suggested
we lend you
185
00:06:00,161 --> 00:06:01,661
resources for
a photoshoot.
186
00:06:01,696 --> 00:06:03,596
See if we can't get you
looking a little less
187
00:06:03,632 --> 00:06:04,732
herrrr.
188
00:06:04,766 --> 00:06:06,636
�Sick!
�I shot down that suggestion.
189
00:06:06,668 --> 00:06:08,068
�Gutty.
�And suggested
190
00:06:08,102 --> 00:06:10,402
that any resources
lent to Derek Zoolander
191
00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:12,538
and Hansel would be
misused resources.
192
00:06:12,574 --> 00:06:14,144
So, you're going
to do it yourselves.
193
00:06:14,175 --> 00:06:15,535
Be models?
194
00:06:16,678 --> 00:06:17,878
A photoshoot.
195
00:06:17,912 --> 00:06:19,412
�Huh.
�Find a photographer
196
00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:20,477
and have them
shoot you the way
197
00:06:20,515 --> 00:06:21,675
you would like
to be portrayed
198
00:06:21,716 --> 00:06:23,046
as BROdude
brand ambassadors.
199
00:06:23,084 --> 00:06:24,694
Get a girl or two
like this on board
200
00:06:24,719 --> 00:06:26,689
to check
the representation box,
201
00:06:26,721 --> 00:06:28,721
strip 'em down
like this,
202
00:06:28,757 --> 00:06:30,827
and send to me
when complete. Kapiche?
203
00:06:30,859 --> 00:06:32,789
Isn't it kinda not PC
204
00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:35,497
to include a girl
but then sexualize them?
205
00:06:35,530 --> 00:06:36,830
Pull out
your fucking tampon.
206
00:06:36,865 --> 00:06:38,795
Could we...
could we use those girls?
207
00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:40,773
Remember what
I just said
208
00:06:40,802 --> 00:06:42,142
about misused resources?
209
00:06:44,606 --> 00:06:46,136
�Yes.
�And neither one of these girls
210
00:06:46,174 --> 00:06:48,584
would cross the street to piss
on you if you were on fire.
211
00:06:48,610 --> 00:06:49,610
Would you?
212
00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:55,482
You've let me down today.
213
00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:58,791
I'm gonna have to take
a number on both of you.
214
00:07:00,221 --> 00:07:01,821
What's the opposite of "he?"
215
00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:03,586
BOTH: Herrr?
216
00:07:03,625 --> 00:07:06,425
You're fucking right
it is. 24 hours.
217
00:07:08,563 --> 00:07:09,733
Okay, bro.
218
00:07:09,764 --> 00:07:11,434
We're gonna need
a mega babe.
219
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:12,465
Hmm.
220
00:07:13,935 --> 00:07:15,035
Daryl's ex�sweetie!
221
00:07:15,069 --> 00:07:17,469
(BOTH CHEERING)
222
00:07:17,506 --> 00:07:19,436
Is it racist to say that
I think that
223
00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:21,813
Daryl's ex�sweetie
looks like Princess Jasmine?
224
00:07:24,779 --> 00:07:26,079
ALY: Stewart.
225
00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:27,980
�Aly.
�Stewart.
226
00:07:28,983 --> 00:07:30,023
Bianca�donk.
227
00:07:30,051 --> 00:07:31,591
�Stewart.
�Roald.
228
00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:32,890
Know that quote
from Spider�Man,
229
00:07:32,921 --> 00:07:34,991
with great risk
comes great reward?
230
00:07:35,023 --> 00:07:36,893
Actually, it's with
great power comes...
231
00:07:36,925 --> 00:07:37,955
She's paraphrasing.
232
00:07:37,992 --> 00:07:39,662
We're back
in business, baby.
233
00:07:39,694 --> 00:07:41,104
�C�Nicholadas.
�G�Nicoladas.
234
00:07:41,129 --> 00:07:43,159
Actually, it's GHB�Nicoladas.
235
00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:44,627
She's abbreviating.
236
00:07:44,666 --> 00:07:46,596
We're going back
to the city, but
237
00:07:46,635 --> 00:07:47,665
before we do,
238
00:07:47,702 --> 00:07:49,102
Let's talk about
the great reward
239
00:07:49,137 --> 00:07:51,037
that follows
your great risk.
240
00:07:53,074 --> 00:07:54,714
ROALD: And that quote
is actually
241
00:07:54,743 --> 00:07:56,983
by Uncle Ben as well,
not Spider�Man.
242
00:07:57,011 --> 00:07:59,051
She's ballparking, Roald!
243
00:08:02,083 --> 00:08:04,693
For clarification,
we're talking about...
244
00:08:04,719 --> 00:08:05,889
Some of that good fucking.
245
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,760
�Mmm. Mm�hmm.
�Mmm. Mm�hmm.
246
00:08:11,826 --> 00:08:13,756
Wonderous.
247
00:08:17,198 --> 00:08:18,198
Keys.
248
00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:21,144
�You seen Rosie yet?
�No.
249
00:08:21,169 --> 00:08:22,599
We've got two hours
to run the dogs
250
00:08:22,637 --> 00:08:24,707
before I'm back with Dierks.
So, pitter�patter.
251
00:08:24,739 --> 00:08:25,739
Okay.
252
00:08:26,808 --> 00:08:28,638
Must've been
kind of weird.
253
00:08:28,677 --> 00:08:30,777
First impression meeting
Dierks at the rippers, eh?
254
00:08:30,812 --> 00:08:32,912
Well, a first impression's
a lasting one.
255
00:08:34,082 --> 00:08:35,122
Proceeding with caution.
256
00:08:35,149 --> 00:08:36,919
You're a big girl.
257
00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:39,121
Buck and a half, we're
tabling yard sales, 10�4?
258
00:08:39,153 --> 00:08:40,253
ALL: Over and out.
259
00:08:44,893 --> 00:08:47,203
�Wayned.
�Dan.
260
00:08:47,228 --> 00:08:48,958
Must be kind of weird
first impression
261
00:08:48,997 --> 00:08:50,997
meeting Katy's new sweetie
at the rippers there, eh?
262
00:08:51,032 --> 00:08:52,932
A first impression's
a lasting one.
263
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:54,667
Well, she said
she'll proceed with caution.
264
00:08:54,703 --> 00:08:55,873
Well, she's a big girl.
265
00:08:55,904 --> 00:08:57,314
You don't much care
for him, does youse?
266
00:08:57,338 --> 00:08:59,568
No, you shouldn't air
your dirty laundry.
267
00:08:59,608 --> 00:09:01,078
�Good guy?
�Who, Dierks?
268
00:09:01,109 --> 00:09:02,139
He's a pretty good guy.
269
00:09:02,176 --> 00:09:04,006
Oh, he's a great
guy then. Dierks.
270
00:09:04,045 --> 00:09:05,145
�Why do you say it like that?
�Huh?
271
00:09:05,179 --> 00:09:07,219
�His name.
�Who, Dierks?
272
00:09:07,248 --> 00:09:08,078
�Yeah.
�Well, I make him say
273
00:09:08,116 --> 00:09:10,276
�Dierks anyway.
�Oh, sures he does.
274
00:09:11,185 --> 00:09:12,185
Say my name.
275
00:09:13,655 --> 00:09:14,815
�Dary.
�Now his.
276
00:09:16,658 --> 00:09:17,488
Dan.
277
00:09:17,526 --> 00:09:19,786
And what's Katie's
new sweetie's name?
278
00:09:19,828 --> 00:09:21,858
�(LOUDLY) Dierks.
�Yeah. Now I hear it.
279
00:09:21,896 --> 00:09:23,126
You says it
a certain way.
280
00:09:23,164 --> 00:09:24,634
You hammered really hard
on the "D."
281
00:09:24,666 --> 00:09:25,666
(LOUDLY) Did I?
282
00:09:26,701 --> 00:09:28,301
(GULPING)
283
00:09:30,038 --> 00:09:31,238
REILLY: You know how
Daryl's ex�sweetie
284
00:09:31,272 --> 00:09:33,242
has a super
racy Instagram?
285
00:09:33,274 --> 00:09:34,844
JONESY: I can't stop
loving you!
286
00:09:34,876 --> 00:09:36,906
Well, I slid into
her DMs and I was like,
287
00:09:36,945 --> 00:09:38,905
"Hey, know how you're
an Instagram model?
288
00:09:38,947 --> 00:09:40,647
"Well, how would
you like to be a..."
289
00:09:40,682 --> 00:09:42,052
I don't even know
what the fuck they're called.
290
00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:43,253
�A real model?
�See, that's what
291
00:09:43,284 --> 00:09:45,224
I ended up going with,
like a real model,
292
00:09:45,253 --> 00:09:47,693
�how would you like to be...
�A real model, like,
293
00:09:47,722 --> 00:09:49,862
someone who is actually
a real model.
294
00:09:49,891 --> 00:09:51,131
Yeah, like, an actual,
real model.
295
00:09:51,159 --> 00:09:53,189
So, I said, "How would you like
to be an actual, real model?
296
00:09:53,227 --> 00:09:54,627
�Mmm�hmm.
�"for BROdude energy?"
297
00:09:54,663 --> 00:09:55,863
And what did she say?
298
00:09:55,897 --> 00:09:56,967
Something in French.
299
00:09:56,998 --> 00:09:58,628
Well, the only French
I know is like... zut!
300
00:09:58,667 --> 00:10:00,097
Yeah, me too.
Like, zut alors!
301
00:10:00,134 --> 00:10:01,204
�And what did you say?
�Well,
302
00:10:01,235 --> 00:10:02,595
I gave her
my email address
303
00:10:02,637 --> 00:10:04,367
because my email has
a translation option.
304
00:10:04,405 --> 00:10:06,775
�Did she email you back then?
�She emailed me back, bro.
305
00:10:06,808 --> 00:10:07,778
What did it
translate to, buddy?
306
00:10:07,809 --> 00:10:10,209
This message required
no translation, buddy.
307
00:10:11,012 --> 00:10:12,012
Whoa.
308
00:10:12,781 --> 00:10:14,281
Zut.
309
00:10:14,315 --> 00:10:15,845
Zut alors.
310
00:10:15,884 --> 00:10:18,754
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
311
00:10:18,787 --> 00:10:19,787
(BOTH WHOOP)
312
00:10:20,889 --> 00:10:23,119
Honey, you sure?
313
00:10:23,157 --> 00:10:24,957
Well, look at this tall
drink of Canadian Lager
314
00:10:24,993 --> 00:10:26,163
lumbering over.
315
00:10:26,194 --> 00:10:28,134
Lumber Lager is
a choice name for a beer.
316
00:10:28,162 --> 00:10:29,802
Oh well, Katy got
a wee bit held up
317
00:10:29,831 --> 00:10:31,931
at the border there, so thought
we'd just shlep'er over.
318
00:10:31,966 --> 00:10:33,296
�Shlep'er?
�Hardly knew her.
319
00:10:33,334 --> 00:10:34,874
Well, if no one's driving
how'd youse like
320
00:10:34,903 --> 00:10:36,143
to get into one
of these cocksuckers?
321
00:10:36,170 --> 00:10:37,640
No time like the present
Ms. Mac.
322
00:10:37,672 --> 00:10:38,942
�Mmm.
�Oh, Wayne,
323
00:10:39,340 --> 00:10:41,240
mind if I...
324
00:10:41,275 --> 00:10:43,075
take your date
deep inside?
325
00:10:45,714 --> 00:10:46,884
Go inside the house
with your date.
326
00:10:46,915 --> 00:10:48,645
�Oh, we're not on a...
�We're not on a...
327
00:10:50,418 --> 00:10:51,718
Okay.
328
00:10:53,955 --> 00:10:55,115
See, remember
I was telling you
329
00:10:55,156 --> 00:10:56,656
McMurray's got
a three to five tabler?
330
00:10:56,691 --> 00:10:58,291
Hells of a spreads
you gots here, McMurrays.
331
00:10:58,326 --> 00:10:59,656
It's a two knuckler table'n.
332
00:10:59,694 --> 00:11:01,704
�Oh, it's a good spread.
�As advertised.
333
00:11:01,730 --> 00:11:02,830
Well, it's a great spread.
334
00:11:02,864 --> 00:11:03,934
What were you expecting?
335
00:11:03,965 --> 00:11:05,895
�Honestly,
�Shall we be honest?
336
00:11:05,934 --> 00:11:07,774
I thought I was coming
over here to see
337
00:11:07,802 --> 00:11:08,972
two�three banquet tables
338
00:11:09,003 --> 00:11:10,173
with a card table
on each end.
339
00:11:10,204 --> 00:11:11,344
Oh, no sir.
340
00:11:11,372 --> 00:11:13,782
But now I come over here
and I see five banquet tables
341
00:11:13,808 --> 00:11:15,078
with a card table
on each end.
342
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:16,949
Once you become
predictable, Wayne,
343
00:11:16,978 --> 00:11:17,878
you become beatable.
344
00:11:17,912 --> 00:11:19,352
What are you tabling
this year, McMurray?
345
00:11:19,380 --> 00:11:20,850
Oh, no. Look
with your eyes,
346
00:11:20,882 --> 00:11:22,022
not with
your hands, Dary.
347
00:11:22,050 --> 00:11:24,220
Now, would you just
look at that?
348
00:11:25,019 --> 00:11:26,349
Top Tobacco Canada.
349
00:11:26,387 --> 00:11:28,217
Now, that is
a beautiful piece.
350
00:11:28,256 --> 00:11:29,916
Ain't that
a beautiful piece?
351
00:11:29,958 --> 00:11:30,988
Pertnear mint too.
352
00:11:31,025 --> 00:11:32,455
Oh, I can see
she's pertnear mint,
353
00:11:32,493 --> 00:11:33,433
But unfortunately for you,
354
00:11:33,461 --> 00:11:35,761
pertnear's only good
in horse shoes and...
355
00:11:35,797 --> 00:11:36,827
�Long darts.
�Yep.
356
00:11:36,865 --> 00:11:40,165
Top Tobacco Canada,
founded in the early 1900s.
357
00:11:40,201 --> 00:11:42,901
One of Canada's first
distributor of tobacco.
358
00:11:42,937 --> 00:11:43,907
Bet you didn't know that.
359
00:11:43,938 --> 00:11:46,108
Oh, I am impressed
with your knowledge, Wayne.
360
00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:47,140
�McMurray...
�Mmm?
361
00:11:48,743 --> 00:11:50,883
What are you gonna need
to have outta that?
362
00:11:50,912 --> 00:11:53,722
Oh, that's a $50 bill any day
of the week, Chief.
363
00:11:53,748 --> 00:11:55,748
See, now that sounds
like retail to me.
364
00:11:55,784 --> 00:11:56,854
Look here, Chief.
You said yourself
365
00:11:56,885 --> 00:11:58,845
it's a beautiful piece.
Given the condition of it,
366
00:11:58,887 --> 00:12:00,887
and the historical value
attached to it.
367
00:12:00,922 --> 00:12:02,262
�$50 you say?
�Mmm�hmm.
368
00:12:02,290 --> 00:12:03,690
�McMurray...
�Mmm?
369
00:12:05,026 --> 00:12:08,156
What's the absolute best
you can do on it?
370
00:12:08,196 --> 00:12:09,896
Well, being an avid
collector myself,
371
00:12:09,931 --> 00:12:10,771
Wayne, I can't see myself
372
00:12:10,799 --> 00:12:12,469
parting it with any less
than a $50 note.
373
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:13,570
Why don't we just...
374
00:12:13,602 --> 00:12:15,242
Why don't you bundle
a few items together, Big Dad?
375
00:12:17,205 --> 00:12:19,135
�Ol' long dick Dierks!
�Pardon?
376
00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:21,443
Long dicker Dierks today,
tight shirt, huge pecs.
377
00:12:21,475 --> 00:12:22,505
Just see if you can get
the price down
378
00:12:22,544 --> 00:12:24,854
just a wee bit for 'em there
boo�boo kitty fuck.
379
00:12:24,879 --> 00:12:27,749
Let's keep this thing civil.
Very civil. Very square.
380
00:12:27,782 --> 00:12:29,822
(CACKLING)
381
00:12:29,851 --> 00:12:32,091
Now, that is how
you dicker
382
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:34,060
you old coon hound.
383
00:12:34,088 --> 00:12:35,118
You can learn something
from him, Wayne.
384
00:12:35,156 --> 00:12:38,156
Always gotta dicker.
Never show up empty�handed.
385
00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:40,232
�Brewskis?
�That was polites of him.
386
00:12:40,261 --> 00:12:41,201
That was polite of him.
387
00:12:41,229 --> 00:12:44,829
Oh, yes. You're in G&T
country now, fella.
388
00:12:44,866 --> 00:12:47,336
Very hospitable. Very
hospitable, very helpful.
389
00:12:47,368 --> 00:12:48,938
�Thank you.
�Well, there is my wife.
390
00:12:48,970 --> 00:12:51,210
My well�wisher.
My whole wide world, baby.
391
00:12:52,340 --> 00:12:53,780
Is it racist to say
that your wife
392
00:12:53,808 --> 00:12:55,838
�looks like Princess Jasmine?
�He's a tools.
393
00:12:55,877 --> 00:12:56,877
That's Dierks, baby.
394
00:12:58,212 --> 00:13:00,752
Old long dong himself?
395
00:13:02,116 --> 00:13:03,046
I'm a hugger.
396
00:13:03,084 --> 00:13:05,094
So you gotta get
in here 'cause I'm a hugger.
397
00:13:06,487 --> 00:13:08,517
I'm fucking Hugs Bunny.
398
00:13:08,557 --> 00:13:10,017
�(MOANS) Oh.
�There you go, okay.
399
00:13:10,058 --> 00:13:11,458
�All right, easy.
�Oh, it's always
400
00:13:11,492 --> 00:13:13,532
nice to meet
another hugger.
401
00:13:13,562 --> 00:13:14,832
Don't she gives some
good hugging there, Dierks?
402
00:13:14,863 --> 00:13:18,033
Oh, you're a good hugger, baby.
You know you're the good hugger.
403
00:13:18,066 --> 00:13:19,366
Okay, we're good.
404
00:13:20,902 --> 00:13:22,542
I got one
for you too, Dan.
405
00:13:22,571 --> 00:13:24,311
Came all the way up here
to meet you, you fucking
406
00:13:24,338 --> 00:13:26,438
gigantic, cheerful loneliness.
Bring it in.
407
00:13:26,474 --> 00:13:28,284
All right. It's gonna
be slightly less intense
408
00:13:28,309 --> 00:13:30,409
�than your previous hug.
�Okay.
409
00:13:30,444 --> 00:13:32,154
That is some
good huggings.
410
00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:33,580
�Hug life.
�Mmm�hmm.
411
00:13:33,615 --> 00:13:35,115
�Daryl.
�And you.
412
00:13:35,149 --> 00:13:36,279
You must be Rosie.
413
00:13:37,952 --> 00:13:39,222
Then I will be.
414
00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:40,823
You had to tame
this one, didn't you?
415
00:13:40,855 --> 00:13:42,385
Look at you,
you fucking cowboy you.
416
00:13:42,423 --> 00:13:44,093
You know,
Brokeback break my heart.
417
00:13:45,059 --> 00:13:46,489
(WAYNE GRUMBLES)
418
00:13:49,964 --> 00:13:51,104
Where are the lights?
419
00:13:51,132 --> 00:13:52,272
Just on the
420
00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:53,900
ceiling where they
generally are.
421
00:13:53,935 --> 00:13:55,335
Where's the, like,
production team?
422
00:13:55,369 --> 00:13:56,609
You are looking at 'em.
423
00:13:56,638 --> 00:13:57,908
And where's the camera?
424
00:13:57,939 --> 00:13:59,209
Oh, we figured
we'd just take a selfie.
425
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,580
But don't worry.
We've taken hundreds of them.
426
00:14:01,610 --> 00:14:03,880
�Thousands.
�Tens of thousands.
427
00:14:03,912 --> 00:14:06,082
We've taken
ten thousand selfies.
428
00:14:06,114 --> 00:14:07,954
(CHUCKLES)
Let's recap.
429
00:14:07,982 --> 00:14:09,122
BROdude Energy has hired me
430
00:14:09,150 --> 00:14:11,190
for a photoshoot
with no camera...
431
00:14:11,219 --> 00:14:13,189
Just this guy.
(IMITATING SHUTTER SOUND)
432
00:14:13,221 --> 00:14:15,161
�and no lighting.
�Still on the ceiling
433
00:14:15,189 --> 00:14:17,029
where they generally are.
434
00:14:17,058 --> 00:14:19,058
And no one from
BROdude Energy is even here?
435
00:14:19,093 --> 00:14:20,133
Just us.
436
00:14:20,161 --> 00:14:21,501
I see two dudes
in BROdude hats.
437
00:14:24,098 --> 00:14:25,168
�Oh.
�Oh.
438
00:14:26,234 --> 00:14:27,944
Don't worry.
BROdude has asked us
439
00:14:27,969 --> 00:14:29,199
to be brand ambassadors,
440
00:14:29,237 --> 00:14:30,937
but we have to prove
to them
441
00:14:30,972 --> 00:14:33,472
that we can, eh, um,
442
00:14:33,508 --> 00:14:37,278
ambassa... dize.
443
00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:39,451
And once we've proven that
to them we're going straight
444
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:40,380
to the tippity�top.
445
00:14:40,414 --> 00:14:42,524
And guess what,
we're taking you with us.
446
00:14:42,551 --> 00:14:44,121
All the way!
447
00:14:44,152 --> 00:14:45,452
�(SPEAKING FRENCH)
�Sick.
448
00:14:45,486 --> 00:14:46,986
�Jonesy.
�Anik.
449
00:14:47,021 --> 00:14:49,261
We have this sort of,
creative vision
450
00:14:49,290 --> 00:14:51,460
in mind, but
first we'd like to ask
451
00:14:51,492 --> 00:14:54,002
what... what would you say
is like the...
452
00:14:55,630 --> 00:14:57,600
�Allure?
�Nice, buddy.
453
00:14:57,632 --> 00:15:00,072
What would you say is the
biggest part of the allure
454
00:15:00,101 --> 00:15:02,041
to your racy Instagram?
455
00:15:02,971 --> 00:15:04,011
�Tits.
�Tits!
456
00:15:04,038 --> 00:15:04,908
Titties!
457
00:15:04,939 --> 00:15:06,939
We also thought
that was a major factor.
458
00:15:06,975 --> 00:15:09,205
Not the only factor,
but dudes love titties.
459
00:15:09,243 --> 00:15:10,483
Dudes love titties, boys.
460
00:15:10,512 --> 00:15:12,152
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
461
00:15:12,180 --> 00:15:14,680
� Oui.
�So, with that in mind,
462
00:15:14,716 --> 00:15:16,986
are you ready to begin
executing our rise
463
00:15:17,018 --> 00:15:18,288
as BROdude
brand ambassadors?
464
00:15:18,319 --> 00:15:20,519
�And yours.
�Yes, of course, yours as well.
465
00:15:22,290 --> 00:15:23,360
Let's ambassadize.
466
00:15:23,391 --> 00:15:25,261
�Yeww!
�Yew!
467
00:15:25,293 --> 00:15:26,363
�Ferda!
�Ferda!
468
00:15:26,394 --> 00:15:27,404
�Titties. Oh!
�Yes.
469
00:16:13,274 --> 00:16:15,544
(MOANING)
470
00:16:18,547 --> 00:16:19,647
Repent.
471
00:16:20,749 --> 00:16:21,949
Sinner.
472
00:16:24,018 --> 00:16:26,448
How'd you like to hear
this old goat say...
473
00:16:26,487 --> 00:16:28,617
�(IMITATING GOAT BLEATING)
�WAYNE: Gailer.
474
00:16:28,657 --> 00:16:29,987
Some other time.
475
00:16:30,659 --> 00:16:32,529
Wanna see my spread?
476
00:16:33,728 --> 00:16:35,228
That's for me?
477
00:16:35,263 --> 00:16:36,363
Oh, I can see it.
478
00:16:36,397 --> 00:16:37,727
It's very uh, substantial.
479
00:16:37,766 --> 00:16:39,226
Very substantial, very specific.
480
00:16:40,134 --> 00:16:41,374
My other one.
481
00:16:41,402 --> 00:16:42,402
(GLEN BLOWING RECORDERS)
482
00:16:43,572 --> 00:16:44,712
Look at you.
483
00:16:44,739 --> 00:16:46,309
You're like
a li'l Leo Day�ka�prio.
484
00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:48,540
You're like
a heathen Christian Bale.
485
00:16:48,577 --> 00:16:50,677
You're like
a Johnny dippity Depp,
486
00:16:50,712 --> 00:16:52,352
mixed in with
The Last Of The Mohicans
487
00:16:52,380 --> 00:16:53,380
Danny Day�Lewis,
488
00:16:53,414 --> 00:16:55,484
and a hint of Eddie Norton
in Fight Club,
489
00:16:55,517 --> 00:16:58,217
and a soupcon
of Jay Bourne Matty Damon,
490
00:16:58,252 --> 00:16:59,552
and it's working for me.
491
00:16:59,588 --> 00:17:01,288
�(BLOWS RECORDERS)
�This is Dierks.
492
00:17:01,322 --> 00:17:02,362
�(MOCKINGLY) Dierks.
�Hi.
493
00:17:02,390 --> 00:17:04,090
The Dierker the berry
494
00:17:04,125 --> 00:17:05,155
the sweeter the juice.
495
00:17:05,193 --> 00:17:06,233
GLEN: Now you're like a li'l
496
00:17:06,260 --> 00:17:07,760
Hughie Jackman, Bradley Pitt,
497
00:17:07,796 --> 00:17:09,096
stick of Harry Ford.
498
00:17:09,130 --> 00:17:10,430
Makes me wanna Hugh Dancy,
499
00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:11,734
till I get Tom Hardy.
500
00:17:11,766 --> 00:17:13,536
Wouldn't kick him out of bed
for eatin' crackers.
501
00:17:15,504 --> 00:17:17,214
Hey, Gailer?
502
00:17:17,238 --> 00:17:19,108
Do you have any of those uh...
503
00:17:19,140 --> 00:17:21,240
reading materials?
504
00:17:21,275 --> 00:17:23,675
�DARYL: That, I uh...
�Dary wants your pornos, cousin.
505
00:17:23,712 --> 00:17:25,312
Why didn't he just say that,
cousin?
506
00:17:25,346 --> 00:17:27,176
Ask and you shall receive, Dary.
507
00:17:27,215 --> 00:17:29,345
Late '70s
or early '80s Playboys?
508
00:17:29,784 --> 00:17:31,094
More bush
509
00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:33,449
�than a Christmas tree farm.
�Repent!
510
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:34,657
How's the used book collection,
511
00:17:34,689 --> 00:17:35,519
�Gailers?
�Ooh,
512
00:17:35,557 --> 00:17:37,287
that's my purview this year,
Daniel.
513
00:17:37,325 --> 00:17:39,285
I've emptied out
the church library,
514
00:17:39,327 --> 00:17:40,797
so I have
some fascinating titles
515
00:17:40,829 --> 00:17:42,299
for bargain basement prices.
516
00:17:42,330 --> 00:17:43,730
�Try this one.
�Ooh!
517
00:17:43,765 --> 00:17:45,125
And really think on it.
518
00:17:45,166 --> 00:17:47,136
Original MoDean's glassware.
519
00:17:47,168 --> 00:17:48,368
WAYNE: Would you take a look
at that?
520
00:17:48,402 --> 00:17:50,272
That is a beautiful piece.
521
00:17:50,304 --> 00:17:51,344
MoDean's I,
522
00:17:51,372 --> 00:17:53,142
�established in...
�Okay, I got this one, Big Dad.
523
00:17:53,942 --> 00:17:55,342
MoDean's I,
established mid '80s
524
00:17:55,376 --> 00:17:56,436
you were saying.
525
00:17:56,477 --> 00:17:57,447
You were listening.
526
00:17:57,478 --> 00:17:58,778
DIERKS: First drinking
establishment in town
527
00:17:58,813 --> 00:17:59,853
to have a dance floor.
528
00:17:59,881 --> 00:18:02,781
Very conducive. Very conducive,
very considerate.
529
00:18:02,817 --> 00:18:04,147
Very crucial.
530
00:18:04,185 --> 00:18:05,215
Very constructive.
531
00:18:05,253 --> 00:18:07,323
Very cooperative.
532
00:18:07,355 --> 00:18:09,615
Somebody tie my dick to my leg.
533
00:18:09,658 --> 00:18:11,528
Gorgeous Gail, what are you
gonna need to have out of that?
534
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,130
�Take 'em.
�Well, thank you.
535
00:18:13,161 --> 00:18:14,461
For not giving me
the retail price,
536
00:18:14,495 --> 00:18:16,355
but seriously,
what's the absolute best
537
00:18:16,397 --> 00:18:17,827
�you can do on 'em?
�GAIL: Take 'em.
538
00:18:17,866 --> 00:18:19,096
Take me.
539
00:18:19,133 --> 00:18:20,303
I think,
this is the most fired up
540
00:18:20,334 --> 00:18:21,204
I've ever seen her.
541
00:18:21,235 --> 00:18:23,135
Should we bundle
a few items together?
542
00:18:23,171 --> 00:18:25,641
I'm surprised we're not bundling
a few items together right now.
543
00:18:25,674 --> 00:18:27,614
(WAYNE GROANING)
544
00:18:28,910 --> 00:18:30,440
Okay, Daniel. Start a library.
545
00:18:32,681 --> 00:18:33,721
REILLY: It's go time, buddy.
546
00:18:33,748 --> 00:18:34,818
JONESY: Getting
this thing ready.
547
00:18:37,586 --> 00:18:38,616
Go!
548
00:18:38,653 --> 00:18:40,763
I think you're going
to be pleased.
549
00:18:40,789 --> 00:18:41,819
�Okay.
�JONESY: My billet sister
550
00:18:41,856 --> 00:18:43,216
knows photoshop.
551
00:18:43,257 --> 00:18:44,587
We dug deep for this one, boys.
552
00:18:44,626 --> 00:18:45,626
Great tits.
553
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:47,600
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
554
00:18:47,629 --> 00:18:50,429
We've blown up the photo
for optimal viewing.
555
00:18:50,464 --> 00:18:52,734
�Can't wait.
�Without further a�dough...
556
00:18:55,870 --> 00:18:57,440
Aw! Sacrament.
557
00:18:57,471 --> 00:18:59,141
REILLY: Right? Sacrebleu!
558
00:18:59,173 --> 00:19:00,683
JONESY: Zut alors!
REILLY: Baguette!
559
00:19:00,709 --> 00:19:01,839
JONESY: La bibliotheque!
560
00:19:01,876 --> 00:19:03,646
�Passeporte.
� Oui, oui, oui!
561
00:19:03,678 --> 00:19:04,708
Soup du jour!
562
00:19:04,746 --> 00:19:06,516
�JONESY: Le francais!
�Okay.
563
00:19:06,548 --> 00:19:09,148
Do you have the original photo?
Without the tit faces?
564
00:19:09,183 --> 00:19:10,523
We do. We wanted to
565
00:19:10,552 --> 00:19:12,292
�show you the entire process...
�Lemme see.
566
00:19:16,190 --> 00:19:17,030
A star is born.
567
00:19:17,058 --> 00:19:18,758
�Great movie.
�Terrible song though.
568
00:19:18,793 --> 00:19:20,633
Like, why does everyone
have to fuckin' sing now?
569
00:19:20,662 --> 00:19:21,662
I'm talking to her.
570
00:19:22,396 --> 00:19:23,796
Name?
571
00:19:23,832 --> 00:19:25,902
Doesn't matter.
I'd like to offer you
572
00:19:25,934 --> 00:19:28,444
and your tits, a six figure
BROdude Energy contract.
573
00:19:28,469 --> 00:19:29,499
What are your thoughts?
574
00:19:29,538 --> 00:19:30,568
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
575
00:19:30,605 --> 00:19:31,705
You're both fired.
576
00:19:31,740 --> 00:19:33,580
Told you I was taking numbers.
577
00:19:33,608 --> 00:19:36,608
And that's strike two.
You're out.
578
00:19:36,645 --> 00:19:38,175
JONESY: No. It's three strikes
579
00:19:38,212 --> 00:19:39,912
�and you're out.
�That's baseball.
580
00:19:39,948 --> 00:19:41,848
Oh, I play
soccer�baseball rules.
581
00:19:41,883 --> 00:19:42,923
Thought I mentioned it.
582
00:19:42,951 --> 00:19:44,651
Oh, well. Ciao.
583
00:19:45,754 --> 00:19:46,764
Yewww!
584
00:19:47,789 --> 00:19:48,789
BOTH: Yeww.
585
00:19:52,661 --> 00:19:53,931
�Big brother.
�How'r ya now?
586
00:19:53,962 --> 00:19:55,502
�Good'n you?
�Not s'bad.
587
00:19:55,530 --> 00:19:56,570
�Big Dad.
�(SARCASTICALLY) Dierks.
588
00:19:56,598 --> 00:19:57,868
�Kat and I...
�Kat?
589
00:19:57,899 --> 00:19:58,929
�Katy�Kat.
�Cool it.
590
00:19:58,967 --> 00:20:00,537
We found a couple guys uptown,
591
00:20:00,569 --> 00:20:02,769
in from out west,
to hit up some yard sales.
592
00:20:02,804 --> 00:20:03,844
Good dudes.
593
00:20:03,872 --> 00:20:05,342
Thought you might be able to uh,
594
00:20:05,373 --> 00:20:06,373
point 'em
in the right direction.
595
00:20:09,010 --> 00:20:10,210
(EXCLAIMS)
596
00:20:13,715 --> 00:20:14,875
Sweet dick!
597
00:20:14,916 --> 00:20:15,946
Smooth cock!
598
00:20:15,984 --> 00:20:17,354
So Dierks, which one is which?
599
00:20:17,952 --> 00:20:19,322
Nice guy, eh?
600
00:20:19,353 --> 00:20:20,563
�Scott?
�Sheldon?
601
00:20:20,589 --> 00:20:22,589
(ALL TOGETHER)
The Canadian Pickers.
602
00:20:22,624 --> 00:20:24,264
What are the odds, big brother?
603
00:20:24,292 --> 00:20:26,762
Your mentors in dickering.
Right here in Letterkenny.
604
00:20:26,795 --> 00:20:27,825
Letterkenny, Ontario.
605
00:20:27,862 --> 00:20:32,272
Irish community following
the 1840s potato famine.
606
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:34,240
Still strong Irish roots today.
607
00:20:34,268 --> 00:20:35,268
Beautiful place.
608
00:20:39,908 --> 00:20:41,808
Welcome to fuckin' Letterkenny.
609
00:20:41,843 --> 00:20:43,443
�Thank you.
�The boys are in the middle
610
00:20:43,477 --> 00:20:44,847
of one of their tours
across Canada.
611
00:20:44,879 --> 00:20:47,319
Looking for hidden treasures
in people's basements,
612
00:20:47,348 --> 00:20:48,748
attics and barns.
613
00:20:48,783 --> 00:20:49,983
Just no cameras this time.
614
00:20:50,018 --> 00:20:51,348
SHELDON: I said to Scott,
615
00:20:51,385 --> 00:20:52,645
see that fork in the road?
616
00:20:52,687 --> 00:20:54,357
�BOTH: Take it.
�(ALL LAUGHING)
617
00:20:54,388 --> 00:20:56,528
I like that one. I laugh at that
one every time.
618
00:20:56,558 --> 00:20:58,258
The show is just terrific,
fellas.
619
00:20:58,292 --> 00:21:00,632
Everyone you run into
across the country is so nice.
620
00:21:00,662 --> 00:21:02,462
Makes a fella proud
to be Canadian.
621
00:21:02,496 --> 00:21:04,796
Scott can be a little aggressive
dickering,
622
00:21:04,833 --> 00:21:07,343
but we always leave
with a smile on our face.
623
00:21:07,368 --> 00:21:08,438
Just gotta know how to dicker.
624
00:21:08,469 --> 00:21:09,639
Oh, you always gotta dicker.
625
00:21:09,671 --> 00:21:10,711
Speakin' of dickering,
626
00:21:10,739 --> 00:21:12,639
that fresh produce stand there.
627
00:21:12,674 --> 00:21:14,684
That's a beauty.
628
00:21:14,709 --> 00:21:17,409
I can see there is
a little Birdseye maple,
629
00:21:17,445 --> 00:21:20,305
and I can smell
the cherry wood from here.
630
00:21:20,348 --> 00:21:22,778
�Smells like Ontario. Eh, Shel?
�SHELDON: It's a beauty.
631
00:21:22,817 --> 00:21:24,487
So, Wayne.
632
00:21:24,519 --> 00:21:25,649
What are you gonna need
out of it?
633
00:21:27,088 --> 00:21:29,658
Well, fellas.
She's not for sale, but fuck!
634
00:21:29,691 --> 00:21:30,991
Time and materials
635
00:21:31,025 --> 00:21:32,025
put her at about
636
00:21:32,827 --> 00:21:34,397
$2,500.
637
00:21:34,428 --> 00:21:36,968
Yikes! That sounds
like retail to me.
638
00:21:36,998 --> 00:21:38,368
Okay, Wayne.
639
00:21:38,399 --> 00:21:40,539
What's the absolute best
you can do
640
00:21:40,569 --> 00:21:42,539
for a couple of pickers
out of Calgary?
641
00:21:42,571 --> 00:21:44,771
Fellows, you know, I'd really
like to help youse out,
642
00:21:44,806 --> 00:21:46,876
but I can't part with it.
643
00:21:46,908 --> 00:21:48,908
The history is just
too important around here.
644
00:21:48,943 --> 00:21:50,753
If you don't understand
where you came from...
645
00:21:50,779 --> 00:21:52,409
...you'll never understand
where you are.
646
00:21:52,981 --> 00:21:54,521
Fair enough.
647
00:21:54,549 --> 00:21:57,389
But what say we bundle up
some of this fresh produce?
648
00:21:57,418 --> 00:21:58,518
You can take it with you
on your travels.
649
00:21:58,553 --> 00:22:01,563
How 'bout throw in a couple
cold beers in the sunshine
650
00:22:01,590 --> 00:22:02,990
and you got yourself a deal?
651
00:22:03,858 --> 00:22:05,428
That's a heck of a deal.
652
00:22:05,459 --> 00:22:06,799
Your terms are acceptable.
653
00:22:09,564 --> 00:22:10,574
Thank you.
654
00:22:12,534 --> 00:22:14,574
Where's youse guys off to next?
New Liskeard?
655
00:22:14,603 --> 00:22:15,703
Penetang?
656
00:22:15,737 --> 00:22:16,637
Petrolia?
657
00:22:16,671 --> 00:22:18,641
I couldn't believe
you guys found the bell
658
00:22:18,673 --> 00:22:20,373
that killed Jumbo,
in St. Thomas.
659
00:22:20,408 --> 00:22:21,508
BOTH: Allegedly!
660
00:22:29,518 --> 00:22:30,948
(CELL PHONE RINGING
AND VIBRATING)
661
00:22:34,088 --> 00:22:35,088
You gonna get that?
662
00:22:35,990 --> 00:22:37,690
Mind your beeswax.
663
00:22:37,726 --> 00:22:38,956
It's a beautiful day for hay.
664
00:22:38,993 --> 00:22:40,033
It's fuckin' barley.
665
00:22:40,061 --> 00:22:41,601
�Need a hand?
�Sorted.
666
00:22:42,864 --> 00:22:44,574
Maybe run the house
get Dary actually.
667
00:22:44,599 --> 00:22:46,029
I got half cut
with Scott and Shel.
668
00:22:46,067 --> 00:22:47,097
Listen, incredibly sexy,
Big Dad.
669
00:22:47,135 --> 00:22:49,095
I know it was a bit
of a weird first impression,
670
00:22:49,137 --> 00:22:50,607
getting to know me
at the strip club.
671
00:22:50,639 --> 00:22:51,669
Very weird.
672
00:22:51,706 --> 00:22:52,966
Very weird, very weighty.
673
00:22:53,007 --> 00:22:54,777
A first impression's
a lasting one.
674
00:22:54,809 --> 00:22:56,139
�Katy...
�Katy's a big girl.
675
00:22:56,177 --> 00:22:57,907
When I'm at the rippers,
that ain't me.
676
00:22:57,946 --> 00:22:59,106
Just out having a giggle.
677
00:22:59,147 --> 00:23:01,617
Putting on a show for the boys.
I'm really not that guy.
678
00:23:01,650 --> 00:23:03,050
�Good.
�You can trust me, cute.
679
00:23:03,084 --> 00:23:04,124
Yeah, okay.
680
00:23:04,152 --> 00:23:05,222
You don't trust me, huh?
681
00:23:05,253 --> 00:23:07,663
A snake can shed its skin,
but it's still a snake.
682
00:23:08,489 --> 00:23:10,119
�Katy's a...
�Katy's a girl who knows
683
00:23:10,158 --> 00:23:11,058
exactly what she wants.
684
00:23:11,092 --> 00:23:13,532
So, if anything,
you oughta have an eye.
685
00:23:13,562 --> 00:23:14,862
�Okay.
�And here's the thing,
686
00:23:14,896 --> 00:23:18,066
and I'm gonna tell ya.
If you mis�step...
687
00:23:18,099 --> 00:23:20,499
you'll have every dude
in Letterkenny lined up
688
00:23:20,535 --> 00:23:22,735
around the block for ya.
689
00:23:22,771 --> 00:23:25,041
�Won't mis�step.
�And I'll be comin' first.
690
00:23:28,777 --> 00:23:30,077
A guy walks into a bar.
691
00:23:30,111 --> 00:23:32,851
There's a terrorist
behind the bar.
692
00:23:32,881 --> 00:23:34,151
Guy says to the terrorist,
"I'll have a vodka
693
00:23:34,182 --> 00:23:37,192
"on the rocks." Terrorist picks
up a single ice cube in one hand
694
00:23:37,218 --> 00:23:38,648
and says, "Oh,
695
00:23:38,687 --> 00:23:39,687
"you like ice?"
696
00:23:40,154 --> 00:23:41,694
Guy says, "Yeah,
697
00:23:41,723 --> 00:23:43,763
"but more than one piece."
698
00:23:43,792 --> 00:23:45,932
Terrorist scoops up a handful
of ice in the other hand
699
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:46,960
and says, "Oh,
700
00:23:47,829 --> 00:23:48,829
"so you like...
701
00:23:50,965 --> 00:23:51,965
"ices?"
702
00:23:53,502 --> 00:23:54,502
Get the fuck outta here.
50150
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