Original subtitles

(Frank breathing heavily)

(soft groaning, sighs)

(mutters)

FRANK:

Oh, where am I? Oh.

(phone chimes)

Oh.

Where am I?

Oy, I made it home.

(phone chimes)

Oh, God.

Oh. Oh.

(beep)

Ah?

Where am I supposed to be?

(phone chimes)

Oh, shit, look.

Okay.

(grunts)

Get up.

Oh, I drank too much.

Ooh, got to piss.

Got to piss. Got to pee.

Where's the toilet?

Where's the toilet?

Ah, there it is.

Oh!

(grunting)

(flatulence squeaks)

Okay, Frank.

Pull yourself together,

get to the bar.

(muttering)

Okay...

(muttering)

Eh, eh. Eh.

Mm, mm. Mm.

Still got it.

All right, here we go. See what

we're getting into today.

It's only a backup.

You're gonna be fine.

If everybody sticks to the tasks

that I've carefully tailored

for each of you,

then you're gonna be great.

Everything's gonna work out.

FRANK: Oh, shit.

Frank, do you know

what's happening?

Mm, play it cool, play it cool.

Ah, Dennis, I know

what's happening.

Ah!

My God.

So what?

Well, if we were just asking if

everybody knows what's going on,

I just want to say that I do.

I wasn't asking.

We're not.

That's not what's going on.

He didn't.

He didn't ask that.

That's not the thing.

I wasn't. All

right, you know what?

Let's just... let's go

over the blueprint, okay?

Yeah, the blueprint.

I want everybody to map out

their positions. Specifically...

All right, here's your chance

to catch up.

Look at the blueprint.

Listen to the vain one.

He knows the deal.

What's his name again?

Is it Damon? No. Delroy.

No. DeMarcus. Why can't I think

of his name today?

Shuke. I-I think he just

explained the plan.

So I think we're good.

Yeah. Frank, you ready to run us

all through it again?

Shit. Deflect! Deflect!

Shut up, bird!

(laughter)

Don't ask him

to run us back through it.

He knows the plan.

All right, good.

So we're good.

Let's-let's do it.

Yeah. Frank...

Let's do it.

Nice save, Frankie.

Like, your timing is...

(mocking):

You're so funny

every time.

Frank, what? Whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Where you going, man?

You got to stay back here on the

walkie in case of an emergency.

Right, yeah,

emergency.

Right, okay, and you

have your walkie, right?

No.

Yes.

Great.

All right.

All right, let's do it.

We'll be in touch.

Ah, shit!

Got to get home.

Got to get that walkie.

Starving.

(phone whistles, buzzes)

Oh, what's that?

Pondy. Ha-ha!

"Let's party."

Ha! Sorry, Pondy. Can't.

(phone whistles, buzzes)

Old tits. He's saying I'm old.

Goddamn it, Pondy's the coolest.

L... O... M?

Yeah, "M." Stupid phone!

L... O... L.

(horn honking)

(horn honking, tires squealing,

loud thudding)

Ah, shit! Probably Asians.

Oh, walkie, walkie, walkie,

walkie. Where?

Where the hell

did I put that thing?

Where the hell is it? Ah, shit.

I'll get... There it is.

Okay, got it. I'm here.

DENNIS:

Keep the line clear,

you idiot. Over.

Roger that.

Stop talking! Over.

Well, well, well.

Goddamn it!

(laughing)

I hate this slimy bastard.

Where's the rent, Frank?

In my pocket where it's gonna

stay until you fix the plumbing.

You're playing games

with me, Frank.

I don't like games.

You know what I like?

This sandwich.

It's snake meat.

(laughing)

Snake meat?

Huh. Is that what

you people eat?

Yeah, snake meat.

(laughing)

I hope you choke on that

and die, you piece of shit.

You slime ball bastard!

(choking)

Oh. Oh, shit!

He is choking.

(laughs)

You son of a bitch!

Frank?

(choking)

(laughing)

You're dying,

you bastard.

Look at me.

You're dying.

Give me that goddamn thing!

Snake meat, huh? Hmm.

Mmm, mmm. Mmm!

(choking)

(choking)

Oh, went down the wrong pipe.

(coughing)

Now I'm choking.

(groans,

guttural gurgles)

(mutters)

Light's going out.

(explosive pops, glass breaking)

(choking)

(thudding)

I don't want to die looking

at you, you savage!

Shit! Ooh, shit.

I'm checking out.

(breathes heavily)

Somebody throw me

in the trash.

(high-pitched droning tone)

FRANK:

Where am I?

Where am I?! Oh!

Am I dead? Huh?

Am I in hell?!

(rhythmic beeping)

No.

I died and went to heaven.

Oh, come to Papa.

Let me have 'em.

Rest up now.

You're in the hospital.

Everything's okay.

Mr. Reynolds,

you're a very lucky man.

If it weren't

for that choking fit,

we would have never been able

to run tests, and...

We found something.

You have a very serious disease,

but fortunately,

we caught it just in time.

There's a malignant tumor

on your front lobe...

Oh, look at those Winnebagos.

Shabooya roll call!

I would like to take a ride

down the Grand Canyon

in those honeys.

(Frank whoops)

Which sadly means,

we might have to remove it.

FRANK: Huh?

DENNIS (over walkie-talkie):

Frank!

Frank, come in. Over.

Oh, shit, I got to go.

Sir, sir. You shouldn't be

running anywhere.

Your condition may be terminal.

Out of my way!

Wait, please, sir,

whatever you do, don't...

(sputtering)

(gasps)

(slap)

(grunts)

Frank, Frank, come in. Over.

I'm on my way.

Aw, shit. I need a ride.

I'll bet Pondy will pick me up.

(tires screech)

Party mobile's here!

Thanks for the ride, Pondy!

Hop in, Frank.

Aw, goddamn it,

Pondy's the coolest.

It's official, Frank.

I divorced that cheatin' bitch.

Yeah.

I mean, I cheated on her, too.

But who's keeping score, right?

(chuckles)

Anyhoo, I got a nest egg to blow

so that whore can't touch it.

Let's rage!

Hey. Here. Take an aspirin.

That ain't aspirin.

It ain't aspirin.

(chuckles)

Does Frankenstein want

to come out and play?

I'm sorry, Pondy.

No drugs for me today.

I need to keep my wits about me.

Lame!

More for me.

CHARLIE (over walkie):

Frank!

We're outside the bakery on 6th

Street. Where the hell are you?

Pondy, I need the car. Solo.

Roger dodger.

I'll just drop myself off

at the roller rink, you know?

Get some strange. Hop in, baby.

Pondy is the coolest.

(tires screech)

♪ Rock you like a hurricane. ♪

FRANK: Oh.

Dumb bird got a boot on her car.

You're right,

I'm wrong, okay?!

(horn honks)

Get in the car.

God. Where the hell

have you been?

Don't blame him.

He's not the one

who got a goddamn boot

on his car.

Whose car is this, anyway?

Ponderosa's.

Pondero... Aw, we're

all over the place, man!

What?

What are we doing in this car?

No, no, no, no, no. We're

good, we're good, okay?

Except why aren't

we moving yet, Frank?

(overlapping chatter)

(tires screeching)

Okay. All right. We're good.

Let's huddle up, you guys.

Let's review the plan.

Okay, listen.

Pay attention.

Okay, so, Frank,

you're on guard dog duty.

Dee, Charlie, and I are

gonna distract the guard.

Mac is tossing the rug over

the barbed wire and sneaking in.

Yeah?

I'm still lost.

Uh, one problem.

We're gonna need

a new rug because I

threw it clean over.

DEE: What?

Oh. God...

CHARLIE:

Oh, Jesus, dude!

DEE: How'd this happen?

All you had to do was drape it

on the barbed wire

and-and climb

over the fence.

I'm too strong.

I'm sorry, Dennis.

(sighs) "Too strong."

Okay, well, you know what,

don't apologize to me.

Apologize to everybody else

that you let down.

All right, we don't have time

for apologies.

What's plan "B" here?

Does anyone know?

There is no goddamn

plan "B." I don't know.

All right, Mac, you got to find

some other way over that fence.

We'll go... we'll go

distract the guard. I-I...

Yeah, yeah. Let's get

a look at the schedule, maybe?

Just got to figure out

Let's go. Come on.

what's going on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

that's a good idea.

Hey, Frank?

Do you think

that Dennis hates me?

What?

I just want him to think

that I'm cool, you know?

And I just feel like...

Is this a little bit lame?

I just feel like I can talk

to you about this kind of stuff.

Yeah?

Oh, yeah,

you can tell me anything.

Really? Oh, well,

honestly, I just feel like...

Oh, God,

this one creeps me out.

I hate being alone with him.

If he touches me, I swear

to God I'm gonna freak out.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah. Totally, totally.

Yeah, okay. Well, look,

if you could just casually,

off the cuff, mention that I can

bench-press more than him...

What is that, fudge?

...I think

that he'll respect me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Dude, what are you doing?

Mmm.

Those are dog treats laced

with sleeping pills.

Those are for the guard dog.

Tasty.

I'm gonna keep eating it.

Maybe I could just hop

the fence, you know? I mean...

Mmm.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I know

where there's another rug.

I know where I can get a rug

real quick.

What?

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa.

(mumbles)

Are you sure you can drive,

dude?

Out of my way, creep.

Aah!

Franklin, thank you for coming.

Hey, I got no time for

swapping loads. I'm in a jam.

Whoa, Jews!

What is this?

We're sitting shiva,

for my Aunt Joyce.

Come, meet my family.

That dog stuff is kicking in.

Lisa.

Ooh, hoo. Shabooya roll call.

Aw, shit. There's the rug.

Under the buffet table.

(distorted):

Mom, Dad,

this is my part-time

lover, Frank Reynolds.

Whoa. Starting to feel woozy.

Say something smart.

Uh, uh, excuse me,

I'm full of dog poison.

(gasping)

(grunting, panting)

That's not good.

That's not good, Frankie.

What's happening?

What's happening?

What's happening?

(squishing sounds)

(inflating sounds)

Come on. Come on, Frank.

Frank.

(sputtering)

Hello, Frank.

Artie.

Better go get that rug out

from under that table, Frank.

Got to get the-the rug.

I'm getting a rug.

(hooting) What?

There are drugs in

the medicine cabinet.

(bell dings)

There's drugs

in the medicine cabinet!

Uppers, uppers,

uppers, uppers.

(grunting, muttering)

Jackpot!

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Ooh. Crush it.

Crush it, Frankie.

What are you gonna do?

(distorted):

Oh, slowing down.

Need uppers.

(groans)

(sniffing)

(music fast-forwarding)

(laughs)

It's Frankenstein! Ha!

♪ ♪

Frank? Frank?

Hey, are you okay?

Rug, rug, rug, rug.

Get out of the way, Jew.

Out of my way.

What's happening?

(chuckles)

Back off.

Hey!

What's going on?

Rug!

Frank!

(growling, snarling)

(horns honking)

Car. Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Don't get killed,

don't get killed.

Watch the car, watch the car.

(tires screech, horn honks)

Get in the car.

(muttering breathily)

(dog barking)

Get out of here, you mutt!

(whimpers)

Heya, kid. Balloon.

(child screaming)

Food! Got to get a hot dog.

Hot dog, hot dog, hot dog.

Ow, hot! Hot!

Need booze.

Gotta flush it out.

Gotta flush it out.

Booze, booze, booze!

(gulping)

Got to flush them out.

(muttering)

I'm coming.

Oh, sick. Oh, sick.

Get out of here!

(retching)

Ah, that's better.

Got to modulate, Frankie.

(phone whistles)

(phone chirps)

I'm coming, Pondy.

I'm coming. I'm coming.

Don't worry about it, Pondy!

(thudding)

(tires squealing)

I'm coming! Where is he?

Pondy? Where is he?!

Where is he?!

Whoa.

Keep that engine running,

Frankie!

(thudding, Bill groans)

Screwed up, Frank.

What did you do?

I got handsy

with some pretty young thing.

She looked 18 to me.

I don't know.

I'm out of control!

Oh, shit.

Pop the glove compartment,

Frank.

(panting)

(Bill chuckles)

Someone's dying today, baby.

No, Pondy!

No!

(gunshot)

Give me that gun! You

got too much to live for!

You're right, Frank.

You're right.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Come here!

(grunts)

(indistinct chatter)

FRANK:

I'm coming, Pondy!

Eat shit, Daddy.

FRANK: Oh.

Oh, he's getting

his ass kicked!

Get out of my face, old man,

before I kick your ass

and throw you in that trunk.

I gotta think

of something tough to say.

Nice nips, cupcake.

(high-pitched tone)

FRANK: What's happening?

Oh, shit,

that bald bitch knocked me out.

I'm in the trunk, aren't I?

How long have I been in here?

Ah! Still got the gun!

(gunshots)

(squeaking)

Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Where am I?

Oh, shit.

I'm at an impound.

Pondy's car must have

got towed here.

Oh, my head, is...

Oh. Oh.

Oh, is that the gang?

Why are they dressed like cops?

Hey! What the hell

are you guys doing?

Frank?

Frank!

He's in there. Come... Frank!

Frank! What?!

We didn't know when the

security guard was on break.

Awesome!

You did it!

You did it, man!

Okay, okay,

now go get Dennis' car!

Yeah, go on.

FRANK:

That... Get Dennis' car?

(Frank gasps)

Hey, your name

is Dennis!

What the hell are

you talking about?

Dude, get my car before

the guard comes back!

Go!

Go!

Go!

Okay, I'm on it. I'm on it.

(thudding)

Ah!

Goddamn...!

ALL (sighing):

Oh!

DEE:

Big spill.

Oh, are you okay, man?

Are-are you all right?

You all

right, Frank?!

You all right?

Charlie, you there?

Oh, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know. Your glasses are right

in front of you. Just-just...

Where?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

go, go, go, go!

Faster, Frank! Faster!

Where?

They're right there!

Right there!

(barks, growling)

Aw, shit!

(barking)

Run, run, run, run,

run, run, run, run!

Run, run, run, run, Frank!

Run, Frank!

(loud thudding)

Eat flesh, you mangy mutt.

(barking, engine starting)

(tires squealing)

(engine revving)

(tires squeak)

FRANK:

Come on, think

of something cool to say.

Anybody need a ride?

(laughter)

Come on!

That's right.

Frankie, number one.

Nice, Frankie!

You came through!

Aw, crap. This one's gonna sit

in the front.

I hope he doesn't try

to touch me.

Don't touch me!

Oh, shit, dude, I'm sorry.

FRANK:

Think of something.

Think of something good.

Dee's a bird!

(laughs)

(laughter)

(high-pitched sigh)

She is a bird! She is a bird!

That's nice!

(tires screech)

She is a bird.

(sighs)

She's totally a bird.

(Frank grunts)

You getting in

there deep, Frank?

Oh, yeah.

(sighs)

(whoops)

What a day, man.

Oh, what a day.

Yeah, it sure was, Charlie.

I'll tell you, though.

Great work, bud.

You killed it, really.

Ah, thanks, Charlie.

When you got a good plan,

you stick to it.

Piece of cake.

(laughing):

Yeah.

All right, well...

I guess we should go to sleep.

We've got a big day

tomorrow.

We do?

Yeah! With...

(laughing)

You're just messing with me,

aren't you?

Oh, you know exactly what

we're doing tomorrow, don't you?

Of course I do.

(chuckles)

We got the thing

with the thing.

Uh, the thing.

We... yeah, we probably

should go to sleep.

Yeah.

All right, well.

Hmm.

Could go to sleep, or, uh...

we could play one quick game

of night crawlers.

Oh. Aah!

You down for that?

(laughs)

I knew you would be.

All right, let me get the

blanket, let me get the blanket.

Okay.

Darkness falls.

(in old lady voice):

And magic stirs.

Oh, it's stirring,

it's stirring.

As we become...

the creatures

of the night.

(howling)

(trumpet playing off-key)

Brown.

Captioned by

Media Access Group at WGBH