Original subtitles

CHARLIE:

Holy shit!

Holy shit, that is steep!

Trust me, this is

the best way to learn.

CHARLIE:

See, this is why I don't like

leaving Philly, man.

This is nuts.

You're gonna be fine, man.

The mountain is a

majestical place

where you push your limits and

you maximize your potential.

No, the mountain is a place

where you party, man,

have fun. That's what

it's all about.

Yeah, like those '80s movies.

Yeah, but we're not in a movie.

I mean, we're gonna get hurt.

We're not gonna get hurt.

For some reason, the rules are

just different on the mountain.

The rules for what?

Everything, dude.

You've seen those '80s movies.

What do I do with my

hands? How do I ski?

Well, you're supposed

to have poles.

Uh... You know what, hold on

to these guys for balance.

These are glass.

Yeah.

And don't

break 'em, bitch.

What is this,

a double black diamond?

I wish it was a triple black.

Dudes, let's shred.

♪ ♪

(wind whistling)

♪ ♪

♪ I remember ♪

♪ One girl ♪

♪ Saw her again ♪

♪ In a magazine ♪

♪ Front cover ♪

♪ Big star ♪

♪ Showing things ♪

♪ That I'd never seen ♪

♪ Well, maybe... ♪

♪ ♪

(whooping)

Whoo, yeah!

Still got it, baby!

Rip city!

Wonder how

Charlie's doing.

(Charlie screaming)

Oh, here he comes.

(screaming continues)

DEE:

Whoa! Whoa!

Uh...

(laughs)

Yeah...!

(cheering, whooping)

♪ ♪

MAN (over P.A.): Another

beautiful day at Alpine Ridge.

End of the season

is right around the corner,

so get those turns in

while you can,

and don't forget to sign up

for the big race this Sunday,

which will determine

the best skier on the mountain.

CHARLIE:

That was totally insane.

I mean, I can't believe

you guys can ski like that.

Hmm?

It's just nuts.

I'm not doing it again, man.

What are you talking about?

It's so dangerous.

No. You did a great job, man.

Hey, look, is your body hurt?

No.

You okay?

Yeah.

That's 'cause it's

mountain rules, man.

I don't get that, though.

I just feel like I got lucky.

Nah. You just need

to learn to use your

edges a little bit more.

Learn to turn...

DEE: Right down

the mountain!

Après-ski!

Let's get our drink on!

No, I don't think I'm

gonna be doing that.

I'm gonna get a sensible meal,

head back to my room,

log in my times,

chart my progress,

'cause I'm gonna win.

Win what?

At skiing.

MAN: Oh, hey.

What's shakin', brother?

Oh, what's shakin'?

Well, I'll tell you

what's shakin'--

these skis, quite literally.

Now, I need these things waxed

and sharpened by 8:00 a.m.

I want to make first tracks.

No problemo.

Anything else?

You guys need helmets?

Uh, I'll take a helmet.

While you're back there,

could you slap a sticker on the

side of mine that says "pussy"?

Yeah, I feel you, babe,

but those are the rules.

Whatever, dude. Part of

what makes skiing so fun

is that your brains could

get bashed in, in any moment.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah,

it didn't used

to always be this way.

This used to be Party Mountain.

Hot babes, cold brews.

And now I hear some

corporate stooge wants to turn

this place into a private resort

for rich CEOs.

They can't do that

to Party Mountain.

It's not called Party Mountain.

It's called Alpine Ridge.

There's one of those

yuppie vultures now.

MAC:

Don't worry.

We got this covered.

Cool.

Show this fat-cat asshole

what's what!

Eat this, bitch!

(laughing)

MAC:

Oh, shit.

What'd you do that for?

DEE:

Oh, sorry, Frank.

We thought you were

some jerk-off

who bought the mountain.

I am the jerk-off

who bought the mountain.

What?!

I'm turning it

into a members-only resort

for millionaires to plow

their trophy whores in private.

Whoa! That sounds

amazing, Frank.

I'm in. I'm in.

What are you talking about?

And ruin Party Mountain?

MAC: You know, who cares

about your stupid plans?

Let's go rage, Dee.

Hang on a second.

I-I'm, like, so lost.

So, uh, who do I go with

in this situation?

Well, that depends, Charlie.

You could go drink cheap beer

amongst swine and savages,

like you would on any other day,

or... you could get the most

out of this mountain.

And you could get

the most out of yourself

by joining an elite class

of athletes and gentlemen alike.

Right, Frank?

Yes.

Huh. That sounds kind of cool.

Yeah.

All right, you guys go--

why should I go with you?

Go with them.

Who cares?

We're here for two days.

You guys it is!

All right.

♪ ♪

Hey-yo!

Hey, man.

Remember us from the ski shop?

Ah, the party guys!

Hey!

Yeah!

Come on in.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Awesome. Awesome.

Well... looks like you guys had

a real shit-kicker

last night, huh?

Rager!

Oh, oh, the cans.

No, no, we're just recycling

to help pay the rent.

Oh.

Mm.

That's my roommate,

Turkey.

We call him Turkey, 'cause his

favorite drink is Wild Turkey.

Awesome! Yes!

Oh, badass!

Like your suit, too.

What are you, coming

from a Gatsby party?

No, I was in court all day.

I was trying to win back

custody of my daughter.

Oh.

Mm.

(chuckles):

That's a bit of a downer.

Yeah.

Yeah, pretty much.

Hey. Hey, Roach. Roach,

come meet some people.

Who stole my goddamn burrito?

No, it's there, Roach.

I just moved it to make room

for my coleslaw. Look.

Did you mess with it?

Did you come in it?

Did you come in my burrito?!

I didn't come

in your burrito!

I wouldn't do

that to you!

He's a little

squirrelly

from the concussions.

Like I said,

no helmets back in the day.

Guys, I got to admit,

this is, uh...

it's not as much of a party vibe

as it is a, uh...

A pathetic vibe.

Yeah.

MAC (chuckles):

Yeah, I mean,

come on, this used to be

Party Mountain,

you know, and...

and Babe Manor,

that's the capital

of Party Mountain.

Yeah.

When was the last time

you even had a babe in here?

Oh, uh... my daughter stopped by

about six weeks ago.

Served me a court summons.

I say count it.

No, don't.

Don't count it.

Oh, guys, guys,

guys, guys, don't you

miss the old days,

when you were

the kings of this mountain?

You used to rip sweet powder,

then come home and crush brews.

I do.

Let's take back

this mountain!

Why don't you

guys dig deep

and show me those

inner party animals.

Let's crush some brews!

Let's empty some cans!

Yeah! Whoo!

Yeah!

Hey, hey, hey!

Rent money!

No, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

Whoa, no, no.

Drink 'em.

Drink 'em.

Oh, yeah,

it's been so long, I forgot.

Let's drink 'em,

Whoo!

then recycle!

Yeah!

Sure. Yeah.

Okay.

♪ ♪

FRANK:

2,000 acres of private powder,

high-speed lifts,

five-star lodging,

and a state-of-the-art spa.

Snow Palace.

Well, Frank,

it's... marvelous.

Thank you.

There's only one

thing missing.

What's that?

The Dennis Reynolds

Ski Academy.

CHARLIE: Could be a...

a good idea

to get a model of that.

What are you doing?

Hmm?

What are you doing,

eating a tree?

Yeah, I thought

this was made out of candy.

It's a plastic tree, Charlie.

It's not made out of candy.

You said

that this was a candy model.

I never said

it was a candy model.

I believe I heard

you mention it was a

model made out of candy.

FRANK: Well, let's just

focus on the banquet

that I'm having tomorrow night

to entice local investors.

It'd be a good idea

to get a model of the banquet.

We could make that candy.

I'd like to get a

visual on that banquet.

And we may as well

make it candy.

It should be candy.

All right, look, forget

about the model, all right?

Let's not talk about the model.

The only model

that you should know is Tatiana.

Tatiana, come in here.

Meet Tatiana.

She came all the way

from Bulgaria

to hand-deliver her finest

caviar.

Nicely done, Frank.

She'll be a fitting reward

for me after I win the big race.

Until then,

Tatiana,

I want you to clean yourself,

for I will enter you hard

and deep,

and it will last for as long

or as short as I please.

But you will be clean.

Only when you are clean

will you know my power.

(cheering,

music playing in distance)

What the hell is that?

It sounds like a party.

(Kenny Loggins' "Footloose"

playing)

(Mac and Dee shouting)

Go, go, go, go, go, go!

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

(whooping)

Yeah! Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah!

This is so great. I can't thank

you enough. I feel alive again.

And look at all the cans.

We're gonna be rich!

You got to drop it

with the cans, all right?

Nobody cares about the cans.

Really. Yep.

Oh, okay, well, what about...

these cans?

Oh! Oh, my God!

You can't do that!

You can't do that.

Though they don't seem to mind.

They look like

they're really enjoying it.

Yeah, mountain rules, baby!

Everybody get your tits out!

(cheering)

Hell yes!

He just said,

"Take your tits out,"

Yeah.

and they all just

took their tits out.

Yeah, I'm gonna keep mine in,

just for now.

(music stops)

Party's over, burnout.

Whoops.

Frank Reynolds.

Wow.

It's been...

30 years to the day.

How they hanging, Drisko?

Uh, I lost one of 'em.

Prostate thing. You know.

Yeah, yeah, me, too. It's

still bouncing around in there,

but it don't do nothing.

I'm gonna stop this.

You guys know each other?

We skied together.

This mountain wasn't big enough

for both of us.

Loser of the big race

was banned for 30 years.

Looks like old Frank here

let his mouth write a check

his ass couldn't cash.

(crowd oohing)

Well, I just wrote

another check.

To buy the mountain.

(crowd groaning)

How 'bout we race

for the mountain?

Or are you scared

you'll lose?

(crowd oohing)

I don't race no more.

I let my son race for me.

Oh...!

Really?

Your son, huh?

Don't think

you can beat me?

Oh, I'll beat you.

You better go enjoy your party

while it lasts.

It's gonna be your last one.

Burnout.

(cackles)

MAN (over P.A.): Last day

to squeeze in some turns

before tomorrow's big race.

On a side note,

it's good to see Frank Reynolds

back on the hill.

We'll see if he can patch things

up with old rival Dave Drisko.

But I wouldn't count on it.

Yo, hey, Dennis, did

you just hear that?

What?

The-the P.A. announcement.

What-what was that?

Well, there's a lot of people

on this mountain, Charlie.

Everybody's gotta stay informed.

Yeah, but that guy

was, like, saying

a bunch of, like, really

personal information about us.

Like, how does he know that?

Right. That's how it works.

Why's he talking about us?

There's, like, hundreds

of people out here.

Well, we're the most

important thing that's

happening right now.

What?

Look, I-I think

I got something

that's gonna clear this all up

for you. Meet my race team.

Where'd these

guys come from?

Switzerland?

Yeah, but they came here and

they're racing with us?

I don't... I-I don't

understand that at all.

Well, I needed somebody

to be behind me.

I mean, this guy's my...

kind of my captain,

and these guys are my goons,

you know? If I need 'em

to do something for me,

back me up, you know,

if I'm getting into some...

And... they just

showed up and they're

racing with you?

Yeah.

All right. No

more questions.

Okay, good. All right.

Uh, yeah, I-I...

Okay. (scoffs)

All right, now,

listen up, guys.

Tomorrow's the big race.

And anything less than first

place will not be tolerated.

In fact,

it'll be punished.

But, remember,

I want you to have fun.

But not if it means you're not

gonna get first place.

'Cause I'll-I'll punish you.

All right, now go limber up, and

I'll-I'll meet you at the chair.

Let's go, guys.

March, march, march.

Wow. Uh, I got to

hand it to you,

looks like you got

a pretty good team.

I think so, too.

Yeah, yeah. Uh, look,

I don't... I don't get

anything that's happening.

So, uh, I'm out,

you know what I mean? And maybe

we should drink some beer,

eat some snow, and just...

(bottle shatters)

What the hell, man?

I'm disappointed in you.

I thought you were a champion.

Why?

You showed me

some real stuff out there, guy.

I was falling.

You were falling,

but you were fast.

But I crashed

into some tables.

Crashing and exploding is all

part of the learning curve.

I could turn you

into a champion,

but that's clearly

not what you want.

You want to just be

a burnout and a loser

like those other guys.

Dude, I don't even

understand you, man.

Just, like,

take it easy...

Where are those coming from?

I'm out, dude.

Like, it's crazy to me.

I'm gonna hang out

with Mac and Dee

and see if I can

figure them out, man...

Oh, yeah, yeah. Go hang with

those other two burnout losers.

Yeah, go ahead. You know

what your problem is, buddy?

You got no allegiance.

We're here for two days!

MAN (over P.A.):

Looks like Charlie Kelly's

walking off the mountain

and out of the big race,

ladies and gentlemen.

He knows my name!

He knows my name!

DRISKO:

Oh, yeah. Here we go.

Take a look.

Oh, wow!

Can you see through the wall?

Yeah. Yeah,

you can see right through.

Okay, I think I'm

getting it. Yeah.

Yeah? Okay.

Hey! I heard your guys' voices.

What are you guys doing in here?

DEE and MAC: Hey!

We are in the middle of a prank

war with Frank and Dennis.

Yeah.

All right, nice. What's

the prank? What's the prank?

We're drilling a hole

in the women's shower

so we can look at 'em naked.

Yeah.

(laughing)

Why? What-what does that have

to do with Frank and Dennis?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Well, nothing, really.

It's just a warm-up prank

to get the juices flowing.

Yeah!

(chuckling)

Warm-up. We're warming up.

I don't want to be a bummer,

but I kind of

don't get how spying

on naked, unaware women

is a prank at all.

MAC:

Me, either.

Me, either. Me, either.

Well, the real prank

DEE: Mm-hmm.

is when I jam my

dick through that hole

and yell, "Special

delivery!"

Oh, dude, I don't think so.

CHARLIE:

Oh, no.

You can't do that, man.

You'd get in a lot of trouble

for something like that.

That's, like... Yeah.

Maybe we can just

do something that doesn't

involve naked women.

Just... You know, 'cause

that's not fun for me.

How 'bout if I

show you my dick?

Why would I want that?

Oh, okay, okay, it's a prank

if you don't want to see it

but he shows you anyway.

This guy gets it.

It's gonna be hilarious.

I think I get it.

I'm gonna get myself hard,

and I will show you what I mean.

Hold on a sec.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, you bastard! You know what,

if you guys are already hard,

just go ahead of me and

I'll-I'll just circle back.

Oh, God.

(Rick Springfield's

"Jessie's Girl" playing)

♪ Jessie is a friend ♪

♪ Yeah, I know he's been

a good friend of mine ♪

♪ But lately

something's changed ♪

♪ It ain't hard to define ♪

♪ Jessie's got himself a girl ♪

CHARLIE: Oh, shit.

♪ And I want to make her mine ♪

♪ And she's watching him

with those eyes ♪

♪ And she's loving him

with that body ♪

♪ I just know it ♪

♪ Yeah, and he's

holding her... ♪

Hello, Charlie.

Oh, my God. Uh, I'm so sorry,

I didn't mean to spy.

I was just walking by;

I'm not a Peeping Tom.

Oh, Charlie, I do not mind.

We are on the mountain.

(chuckles): Yeah.

What does that mean?

Everyone keeps saying,

"We're on the mountain,"

but I-I don't get it,

you know what I mean?

Look, where I come

from, you know,

jamming your dick through

a hole in the wall,

that-that's assault,

that's a felony,

and, uh, it's

just plain wrong.

Something bothering you,

Charlie?

You do not like my breasts?

Uh, no, no, your breasts...

your breasts are great.

Do you want to jump in with me

in the hot tub now?

♪ ♪

Yeah. You know,

um... Yeah. Yeah.

I'm gonna stop complaining

about the mountain.

I'm just gonna, I'm gonna let

the mountain work for me.

Now we're talking.

(laughing):

My! Here we go.

♪ You know, I wish that I had

Jessie's girl ♪

♪ I wish that

I had Jessie's girl ♪

♪ Where can I find

a woman like that? ♪

♪ Like Jessie's girl ♪

♪ I wish that

I had Jessie's girl ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Where can I find a woman ♪

♪ Where can I find ♪

♪ A woman like that? ♪

(playing jazz melody)

MAN (over P.A.):

Welcome to the annual big race.

Who will take home

the top prize?

Local free spirit Dave Drisko...

(crowd cheering)

...or fierce new competitor

Dennis Reynolds?

(crowd jeering)

The stakes are high

because the loser today

is walking off the mountain

for 30 years.

Do you realize how important

this race is, Dennis?

Well, yeah, 'cause he just said

how important it is.

I hope you got

your bags packed.

I'm gonna get

rid of you

once and for all,

Frank Reynolds.

I'm gonna save

Party Mountain

and bring back the glory

of the good old days.

MAN:

Freeze! Police!

David Drisko,

you're under arrest.

MAC:

Oh, shit!

They framed Drisko

so he couldn't do

the big race!

Oh, come on!

This man has committed

a litany of sexual assaults.

His semen was recovered

from crime scenes

all over the mountain.

Let's go, pal.

Lose the hat.

What?

(crowd groans, laughter)

This guy might not be as

cool as we thought he was.

Even his awesome hair

is bullshit.

You forgot one charge.

What's that?

Assaulting an officer!

Never stop partying!

Oh!

That'll do.

You know?

If I'm being honest,

he probably deserves it.

Yeah.

Never stop partying, bitches.

Never stop partying!

So...

which one of you losers wants

to win a silver medal?

Ugh. Not me--

I got blasted last night.

I'm so sick.

I don't feel

good, either.

I'd also like

to remove myself

from the sexual

predator team.

MAN (over P.A.):

Well, I guess that does it.

The winner by default

of the annual big race is...

CHARLIE:

Not so fast!

(crowd oohing)

(chuckles)

This is good.

So you gonna race for them?

No, Dennis, I'm gonna

race for everyone.

I want to race

for the people.

(whooping, cheering)

You see, last night

Tatiana taught me

all about Communism.

Cold, hard winters,

gross soups.

She also taught me

a lot about sex.

Sweet sex, amazing sex,

a lot of sex,

Jacuzzi sex, Dennis!

♪ Jessie's girl... ♪

♪ ♪

It was amazing.

So I get it now--

I like the mountain.

I understand

the rules.

And I'm gonna shred.

Well...

this ought to be rich.

(chuckles)

(cackling)

(continues cackling)

(mocking):

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

♪ ♪

(cheering, whooping)

♪ ♪

He's-he's getting destroyed.

(loud crack)

CROWD:

Oh!

Oh!

My ankles are broken!

(yells)

My ankles are broken for sure!

His ankles are broken!

He has broken his ankles!

Oh, they're surely broken!

Charlie can still win!

(cheering)

Go, Charlie!

MAC:

Come on, Charlie!

Little faster! Come on!

A little faster, bud.

DEE:

Straighten out!

(grunting)

No! No!

No! No!

(fierce yell)

Yeah!

Ah, shit!

Okay.

DENNIS:

I won!

DEE: All right.

The mountain is ours, Frank!

(laughing)

Uh... not exactly.

Uh...

actually, uh...

the whole Snow Palace thing

was, uh, all for show.

(groans)

Huh?

I needed to distract the local

environmentalist groups

while I fracked the mountain.

Wh-Wh... What?!

You fracked the mountain?

Yeah. Yeah,

the banquet, the race--

it was all set up.

It was just a diversion,

it was...

a distraction, because

I wanted to get into this hill

and suck out

its natural resources.

So all this here was

just one big setup?

Yeah.

I hired the hookers,

so you could rip

their tops off.

That makes sense.

Oh...

That makes a

lot of sense.

So what do we do now?

I'm good. You want to...

you want to stick around,

it's okay.

No.

It'd be good to go back to

Philly, right? I mean...

I'm pretty tired.

It was quite a weekend.

Honestly, I don't even

like skiing that much.

(groaning): I-I need to go

see a doctor.

Yeah, I should probably see a

doctor, too, actually, I guess,

if Tatiana

was a hooker.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, God, gross.

Yeah.

That's not good.

Help. (groans)

MAN (over P.A.):

Well, folks, you heard it.

Frank fracked the mountain,

and it looks like

we'll all be out of jobs.

DENNIS: Oh... God!

So, did you even

hire that guy?

You know, Charlie, I have

no idea who that guy is.

Huh. I guess some things really

are different on the mountain.

Yeah.

♪ ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ Whoo! ♪

(fanfare playing)

Brown.

Captioned by

Media Access Group at WGBH