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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,977 [Poison Ivy whistles] 2 00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:23,652 [vacuum cleaning humming] 3 00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:28,562 -[Dr. Psycho] Damn, that was good! -[Clayface laughing] 4 00:00:28,661 --> 00:00:31,364 Who has two hands covered in unwashable ink? 5 00:00:31,464 --> 00:00:32,832 Uh, this girl! 6 00:00:32,932 --> 00:00:35,134 We just made that bank our bitch! 7 00:00:35,234 --> 00:00:37,570 Dude! That was a Noguchi coffee table. 8 00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:38,805 Uh, sorry. But hey! 9 00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:40,707 Now you can buy a bunch of 'em! 10 00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:43,409 -Guch! Guch! Guch! -You know you can just hand me some money. 11 00:00:43,409 --> 00:00:44,844 You don't have to make it rain. 12 00:00:44,844 --> 00:00:46,479 [squeals] It's Noguchi! 13 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,247 [annoyed sigh] I'm gonna go make some nettles tea. 14 00:00:48,247 --> 00:00:50,616 Oh, man. This was our best heist yet. 15 00:00:50,616 --> 00:00:52,304 And we hit the perfect tone! 16 00:00:52,304 --> 00:00:54,286 Like, okay, everyone in the bank was super scared of us, 17 00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:57,289 but like not so much that they weren't also delighted 18 00:00:57,289 --> 00:00:58,725 when I just cartwheeled out. 19 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,828 I'm sure everybody on the news is talkin' about it. 20 00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:03,262 I hope we didn't miss too much of the coverage. 21 00:01:03,362 --> 00:01:06,465 Batman stops Joker from robbing the credit union. 22 00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:09,335 Credit union? That's just a poor person bank. 23 00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:11,203 We robbed a real one 24 00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:14,707 with a vault, and money, and predatory lending practices! 25 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,409 No, the news probably did us first. 26 00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:17,468 Here, try Channel 7. 27 00:01:17,468 --> 00:01:19,813 -[reporter] And Batman foils-- -[annoyed grunt] Just let me look. 28 00:01:21,213 --> 00:01:22,816 We're the most compelling story, 29 00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:24,450 so they're probably saving us for last. 30 00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,887 And now our last and most compelling story. 31 00:01:26,986 --> 00:01:28,487 Enter, us! 32 00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:30,222 -Turn up the volume! -It's about damn time. 33 00:01:30,322 --> 00:01:32,391 [reporter] A cardboard box of baby ferrets 34 00:01:32,391 --> 00:01:34,727 has finally been returned to their rightful owners. 35 00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:36,629 -[Poison Ivy sighs] Oh, boy. -[Harley shrieks] 36 00:01:36,629 --> 00:01:37,864 You have been here two weeks 37 00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:39,498 and you have destroyed nine TVs. 38 00:01:39,498 --> 00:01:40,566 Sorry. [sigh] 39 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:41,834 I'm just pissed. 40 00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:43,537 Why aren't they talkin' about us? 41 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,305 It should be our faces on that screen! 42 00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:47,373 We should be those ferrets! 43 00:01:47,373 --> 00:01:50,510 You guys, like, realize you're committing serious felonies, right? 44 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,912 Like, you actually don't want people to know who you are. 45 00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:54,447 -Or-- -[Poison Ivy] No. 46 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,200 No "or". I just gave you great advice. 47 00:01:56,200 --> 00:02:00,287 But, there's only one thing stopping us from being front page news. 48 00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:02,623 No one's trying to stop us. 49 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:03,656 Of course! 50 00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:05,424 Joker has Batman 51 00:02:05,525 --> 00:02:07,359 and suddenly a simple crime 52 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:10,362 becomes a thrilling narrative between two titans. 53 00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:12,832 Exactly. We need a nemesis! 54 00:02:12,832 --> 00:02:14,334 Lex Luthor has Superman. 55 00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:15,800 Sinestro has Green Lantern. 56 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,405 Psycho has his own inability to refrain from using the c-word. 57 00:02:18,504 --> 00:02:21,274 My nemesis is Wonder Woman, that cu-- 58 00:02:21,274 --> 00:02:22,475 Okay, I see what you're saying. 59 00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:23,943 That's it then! I need a nemesis. 60 00:02:23,943 --> 00:02:25,245 -Great advice, Ive. -No. 61 00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:26,780 That's 100% not-- 62 00:02:26,879 --> 00:02:28,314 [theme music playing] 63 00:02:31,450 --> 00:02:32,699 [Harley] Alrighty. 64 00:02:32,699 --> 00:02:34,754 So our profile page on Find-a-Nemesis dot com 65 00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:37,257 -has been up for a day and we have... -[beeps] 66 00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:39,526 Zero messages? [sighs] 67 00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:41,394 Clayface, did you use my hairbrush? 68 00:02:42,628 --> 00:02:43,963 -No. -[angrily] What the hell? 69 00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:45,431 You're messing up my apartment! 70 00:02:45,431 --> 00:02:48,401 Your apartment? It's my apartment! 71 00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:51,705 And if your dirty circus freak friends keep messin' it up, 72 00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:52,973 I'm kickin' ya out. 73 00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:54,574 You know the rules: 74 00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:57,377 no pets, no noise, no commies, no d-- [shouts] 75 00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:58,812 I don't know if he was gonna get racist there, 76 00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:00,580 but it felt like that's where it was headed. 77 00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:02,649 I thought robots were supposed to be helpful. 78 00:03:02,748 --> 00:03:03,984 -Right? -[sighs] 79 00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:05,685 He's not a robot, he's a disabled person. 80 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,621 Anyway. You stained all my carpeting. 81 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:10,389 And you came home drunk and tried to mind-control the microwave, 82 00:03:10,389 --> 00:03:11,858 and burnt a hole through the countertop. 83 00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,794 That microwave knows what it said. 84 00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,361 [knock at door] 85 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:16,896 Dammit, Sy! I will move the trash bins-- 86 00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:18,632 -Oh my God! -[Dr. Psycho and Harley scream] 87 00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:20,266 [ominous music playing] 88 00:03:22,735 --> 00:03:23,971 -[grunts] -Ow? 89 00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:25,504 Harley! Oh, oh, oh. 90 00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:27,007 This is a classic misunderstanding. 91 00:03:27,108 --> 00:03:29,308 Bat down. Bat down. [chuckles] 92 00:03:29,408 --> 00:03:31,745 -This is King Shark. -Howdy. 93 00:03:31,844 --> 00:03:34,814 Hacker extraordinaire and, perhaps more pertinent, 94 00:03:34,914 --> 00:03:36,984 social media maven. 95 00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:39,519 Uh, this giant, terrifying, half man, half-shark is a computer whiz? 96 00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:41,354 I don't like to brag, 97 00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:44,424 but he took me from eight social media followers 98 00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:46,894 to eight... teen. Bravo! 99 00:03:46,993 --> 00:03:49,528 I called him to solve our nemesis problem. 100 00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:52,800 Mmm... I'm guessing you're the one having trouble finding a nemesis. 101 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,068 Well, we put the profile up and we're not gettin' any bites. 102 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,068 -[sinister music playing] -Is that a shark joke? 103 00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:01,675 If so, it's very funny. [laugh] 104 00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:04,677 Now scooch. Let me take a look at that profile. 105 00:04:04,777 --> 00:04:07,280 Hmm. Okay, now here's your first problem. 106 00:04:07,379 --> 00:04:09,782 You're not using any of the right keywords. 107 00:04:09,782 --> 00:04:11,818 I'll hack into the mainframe and get you featured. 108 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,687 How long's this going to take? 109 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,489 -[computer dings] -There you go. Got your first match. 110 00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:17,624 [Dr. Psycho] Who the hell is Tommy Tomorrow? 111 00:04:17,723 --> 00:04:19,625 He's got a personalized ray gun. 112 00:04:19,725 --> 00:04:22,028 He says he's looking for something casual. 113 00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:23,831 Someone to fight on the weekends. 114 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:26,333 I am not settling for Tommy Tomorrow. 115 00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:27,901 [shouting] I wanna nemesis-up! 116 00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:30,470 You're not gonna find any A-listers on here. 117 00:04:30,569 --> 00:04:31,838 There's no Batmen. 118 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,040 Or... we get Batman! 119 00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:36,877 Batman? You have fought him countless times 120 00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,644 and every time ya end up at Arkham. 121 00:04:38,644 --> 00:04:40,713 I know another way and by the end of it, 122 00:04:40,713 --> 00:04:43,083 Bats will be our nemesis. 123 00:04:43,184 --> 00:04:44,851 -I don't know. -Unlikely. 124 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,353 Yes, yes, yes. 125 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:48,922 [tires screech] 126 00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:52,925 [laughing manically] 127 00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:56,177 [rock music playing] 128 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:01,834 [Harley squeals] Woo-hoo! 129 00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:04,235 [siren wailing] 130 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,014 [metal jingling] 131 00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,115 [tires bursting] 132 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:18,151 Ha! 133 00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:21,887 [glass shattering] 134 00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:24,790 You've crossed the line, Quinn. 135 00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:26,992 -You're going to Arkham for goo-- -Buh-bye! 136 00:05:30,129 --> 00:05:32,529 [siren wailing] 137 00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:42,675 [laughing manically] 138 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,045 Yeah! 139 00:05:49,548 --> 00:05:50,983 [both scream] 140 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,384 [tires screech] 141 00:05:52,485 --> 00:05:53,754 Ta-da! 142 00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,988 How the hell did you pull this off? 143 00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,399 The car's voice activated, 144 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,959 so I took some recordings of Bats' voice 145 00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:00,742 and spliced 'em together. 146 00:06:00,742 --> 00:06:03,529 [Batman on recording] Open Batmobile allow Harley to drive. 147 00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:04,596 He also said... 148 00:06:04,596 --> 00:06:06,899 [Batman on recording] I definitely make love to bats. 149 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,569 -Ha! -Heavens to Murgatroyd. He admits it! 150 00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:13,572 [laughs] The signature grappler! 151 00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:15,942 The bat-eth hath arrived-eth. 152 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,644 [Clayface] Success! [laughs] 153 00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:19,745 Stop talking, I gotta make an evil first impression. 154 00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:21,848 Shit, I shoulda thought of an opening line. 155 00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:23,550 Uh. Good after-doom? 156 00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:25,517 Pleasure to beat ya? 157 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,456 -What the... -Not so fast, losers! 158 00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:32,259 -Oh, come on. -Robin? What are ya doing here? 159 00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:33,259 Where's Batman? 160 00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:36,762 You think Batman has time to deal with you guttersnipes? 161 00:06:36,762 --> 00:06:38,497 You're lucky I even showed up. 162 00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:40,166 Oh, was Batman too busy doin' this? 163 00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:42,702 [Batman on recording] I definitely make love to bats. 164 00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:44,603 Shut up and battle me, nards. 165 00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:46,973 Oh god, last week I was in the fucking Legion of Doom 166 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,389 and now this is my life. 167 00:06:48,389 --> 00:06:50,978 We're not battlin' a 12 year-old from the fuckin' Ren Faire. 168 00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:54,714 I was raised by an elite group of assassins from birth. 169 00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:56,016 You're a clown. 170 00:06:56,115 --> 00:06:57,684 And an old one at that. 171 00:06:57,685 --> 00:06:58,985 What are you, 30? 172 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,853 [screams] Ow! You little shit! 173 00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:02,788 [screams] 174 00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:04,524 Hey! What are you doing? Put me down! 175 00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:07,060 Tell Batman we're coming for him. 176 00:07:07,161 --> 00:07:09,795 [disco music playing] 177 00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:11,732 ...well, Tawny, then Harley said, 178 00:07:11,733 --> 00:07:13,100 [imitating Harley] "I'm coming for you." 179 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,466 'Course then we had a huge battle. 180 00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:15,836 -Mm-hmm! -Tons of punching. 181 00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,603 -Mmm! -Some lasers. Lotta lasers. 182 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:18,672 Boy, stop it! 183 00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,007 When I beat her butt, 184 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,076 that's when she asked me to be her nemesis. 185 00:07:22,076 --> 00:07:26,213 -[audience cheering] -Your first nemesis at just 12-years old. 186 00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:28,148 Now, are you a little sweet potato pie? 187 00:07:28,249 --> 00:07:30,600 'Cause I could just eat you up! 188 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,886 Yeah. I'm a little sweet potato pie. 189 00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:34,254 -[squeals] Oh! -[audience exclaiming] 190 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,589 [on TV] He's just so cute! 191 00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:38,858 Ah, I gotta tell ya. I think he's adorable. 192 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,026 [shrieks] 193 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,427 You know what, this one's on me. 194 00:07:41,427 --> 00:07:43,730 I shoulda known that this was gonna put you in a smashy mood. 195 00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,564 Robin's lying. Why would I fight a kid? 196 00:07:45,564 --> 00:07:47,867 [shouts] I want a nemesis with some hair on their chest! 197 00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:50,002 [clears throat] Well, that rules out Batman. 198 00:07:50,004 --> 00:07:52,538 [chuckles] Catwoman says he waxes everything. 199 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,002 You know what? It's gonna be fine. 200 00:07:54,002 --> 00:07:56,043 Maybe this story will run one news cycle and be gone. 201 00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:57,343 I don't think so. 202 00:07:57,343 --> 00:07:59,079 You just got a Google alert for an article 203 00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:01,148 from the Lois Lane. 204 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,649 And the headline is... Never mind. 205 00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:04,649 [Harley] Let me see that! 206 00:08:04,649 --> 00:08:07,920 "Harley Quinn Fights Child, Sets Evil Women's Movement Back Decades." [gasps] 207 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,723 Well, the headline is clickbait, 208 00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:12,559 but I bet the article itself is more positive. 209 00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:13,826 [sarcastically] Really? You think that? 210 00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:15,728 No, shit! It's behind a paywall. 211 00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:17,596 Does anyone have a login for the Daily Planet? 212 00:08:17,596 --> 00:08:19,800 Nope. I already burned through my five free articles. 213 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,735 I can't subscribe to another thing. 214 00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:24,036 My inbox is already swollen with-- 215 00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:25,838 Well, I'm not payin' 7.99 a month 216 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:26,973 to see shit like this! 217 00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:28,074 Let's just kill her. 218 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,209 -Or... -No. No more "or." 219 00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:33,046 Or we kidnap her and make her retract the article. 220 00:08:33,147 --> 00:08:35,948 You can't fuck with Lois Lane, people. 221 00:08:36,048 --> 00:08:37,850 What if Superman comes? 222 00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:40,552 Great. Then I'll have the most powerful nemesis in the world. 223 00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:42,221 [sighs] Oh, brother. 224 00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:43,785 [Lois] I don't retract articles, 225 00:08:43,785 --> 00:08:46,092 and I'm definitely not writing a puff piece about... 226 00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:47,250 What was your headline? 227 00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:50,029 It's Harley Quinn, number one supervillain in the many multiverses, 228 00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,730 still hasn't committed to a nemesis, 229 00:08:51,730 --> 00:08:53,232 much less Robin the Boy Wonder, 230 00:08:53,234 --> 00:08:56,102 or any nemesis that's boy or bird based. 231 00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:58,004 Ya can punch it up if ya want. You're the writer. 232 00:08:58,004 --> 00:09:00,240 [laugh] Thanks. No. 233 00:09:00,341 --> 00:09:02,109 Okay, then I'm gonna have to kill ya. 234 00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,210 Okay, go ahead. 235 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:06,914 [spits and coughs] 236 00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:09,383 I need to remember to keep my mouth closed when I bust through walls. 237 00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:11,884 -I've been tellin' ya that. -Holy shit! It's Supes! 238 00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,120 King Shark, get the camera. 239 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,620 Livestream me fightin' Superman. 240 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:15,956 My new nemesis. 241 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,291 Okay, you're live. 242 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,058 [Harley] Hey, Superman! 243 00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:21,827 Come get Lois Lame before I make her a deadline! 244 00:09:21,927 --> 00:09:23,364 [stammers] That made sense, right? 245 00:09:23,464 --> 00:09:25,131 Is she mad about the paywall too? 246 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,701 Seven nintey-nine is an ambitious price point. 247 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:30,669 And it doesn't include the crossword, which is ridic. 248 00:09:30,769 --> 00:09:31,971 Ya gonna fight me or what? 249 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:35,075 [chuckles] Everybody duck. 250 00:09:35,174 --> 00:09:39,111 You were ill-advised to think you could get away from me, Harley Quinn. 251 00:09:39,111 --> 00:09:41,215 -[Lois] Aww! -[groans] Oh god! 252 00:09:41,215 --> 00:09:42,349 Again? 253 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:43,682 [chuckles] Hey, sport. 254 00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:45,818 I fail to find the humor in this. 255 00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:47,287 No need to be nervous, kiddo. 256 00:09:47,388 --> 00:09:49,222 Just step into the box. You got this! 257 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:52,091 You're embarrassing me in front of my nemesis. 258 00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:54,027 Actually I'm not currently committed to anyone, 259 00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:55,861 but y'know, Supes, if you're avail, I'm... 260 00:09:55,861 --> 00:09:57,831 Flattered, but I have a pretty full dance card. 261 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,365 Leave us be, boy scout. 262 00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:01,868 I'm sure there's a cat up a tree somewhere. 263 00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:03,202 A cat up a tree. 264 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,172 Isn't this just the cutest thing ever? 265 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,206 Lois, you okay if the little guy takes it from here? 266 00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,942 Yeah, whatever. We still doing sushi tonight? 267 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,110 You know how I... roll. 268 00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:12,946 [both groan] 269 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:15,816 Do me a favor. Can you untag me from this whole thing? 270 00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:17,650 You ready to do battle, Quinn? 271 00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:19,119 [sigh] Let's go. 272 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,153 [Robin] That's right. 273 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,855 Run away! Fear me! 274 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:26,994 [groans] That was the most humiliatin' t-- [gasps] 275 00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:30,062 Oh my god, Ivy! You're pregnant? Oh! 276 00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:31,965 This is gonna be so bad for your career, 277 00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:33,899 but so good for your Instagram. 278 00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:36,403 No. All this shit is for you. 279 00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:37,837 Aww. No baby? 280 00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:38,938 Nope. No baby. 281 00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:40,072 But there is a card. 282 00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:41,707 And it was addressed to you, 283 00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:45,178 so I didn't open it because I'm not a rude person. 284 00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:48,782 [Joker from card] Congrats on Robin the cradle. 285 00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:51,384 [laughs] From all your 286 00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:56,056 never-gonna-be-your-friends at the Legion of Doom. [cackle] 287 00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:59,389 [coughs] 288 00:10:59,389 --> 00:11:03,129 [sarcastically] Well, this room was missing a dusting of ash everywhere. 289 00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:04,465 All right, that's it. Enough of this shit. 290 00:11:04,465 --> 00:11:05,465 We're killin' Robin. 291 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,768 Harley, you can't kill him. 292 00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,336 You don't think I can kill a 12-year-old? 293 00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,336 Oh, okay. 294 00:11:11,336 --> 00:11:12,687 Well, I will smash in his face 295 00:11:12,687 --> 00:11:15,274 [shouts] with a bat like a watermelon! 296 00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:18,479 Oh, no, no. I believe you have the ability to kill him. 297 00:11:18,479 --> 00:11:20,113 What I'm saying is, 298 00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:22,048 if you do it, you validate what everyone's saying. 299 00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:23,115 That Robin's your nemesis. 300 00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:24,951 Also, you'd be a child killer, 301 00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:26,952 which some may argue is worse. 302 00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:28,120 Unless... 303 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,023 Ah, you've got that "or" face. 304 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,725 Just... Can you make your eyebrows normal? 305 00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:33,192 -I've... -Yes? 306 00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:34,692 No no, I wasn't sayin' your name. 307 00:11:34,692 --> 00:11:37,197 I was sayin' "I've" as in I've got a plan. 308 00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:39,365 [Dr. Psycho] Listen shark-man, get in the tank. 309 00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:41,268 All you gotta do is swim around 310 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,937 and scare the kid so bad he admits he's lying. 311 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,037 Oh, I-I'm not that kind of shark. 312 00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:48,075 I'm more of the tech savvy kind. 313 00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:49,174 It's fine. 314 00:11:49,174 --> 00:11:51,077 I can play the role of shark if he won't. 315 00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:52,346 [shouts] Roar! 316 00:11:52,446 --> 00:11:56,350 'Tis I, the violent type of shark! 317 00:11:56,450 --> 00:11:58,284 Straight from the beaches of Amity! 318 00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:02,288 Fear my rows of teeth, my unpredictable nature. 319 00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:05,625 Yeah, that's offensive in a number of ways. 320 00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,461 I-I'll just be the shark. 321 00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,129 But, just to double check here. 322 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,398 I-I'm not gonna do any biting, right? 323 00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,832 'Cause I do not do well around blood. 324 00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:15,201 No blood. 325 00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:17,336 You're just supposed to scare him. 326 00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:20,407 -I got him! -[Robin grunts] 327 00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:22,042 [struggling grunts] 328 00:12:22,110 --> 00:12:23,110 [ominous music playing] 329 00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,910 [struggling grunts] 330 00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,349 -You're gonna die, Robin! -[Robin grunts] 331 00:12:29,450 --> 00:12:31,618 Admit it! Admit we never battled. 332 00:12:31,619 --> 00:12:33,586 I never asked you to be my nemesis. 333 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,054 Unhand me, you freak. 334 00:12:35,054 --> 00:12:37,256 Not until you tell the truth about us. 335 00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,857 Why would I ever tell the truth? 336 00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:42,162 I'm Gotham's little sweet potato pie, remember? 337 00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:45,899 Those rubes will believe anything I say. 338 00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,533 -[audience exclaiming] -[Mr. Psycho laughs] Busted! 339 00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:49,570 [Harley] Ya hear that, Tawny? He admitted he lied. 340 00:12:49,570 --> 00:12:51,804 Tawny? You set me up, Quinn. 341 00:12:51,904 --> 00:12:53,307 [Tawny] Mm-mm-mm! 342 00:12:53,307 --> 00:12:56,109 My, oh my, how the sweet potato pie has crumbled. 343 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,143 [audience booing] 344 00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:58,477 So, as everyone can see, 345 00:12:58,479 --> 00:13:01,014 I could'a killed him any time I wanted, 346 00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:03,350 but I didn't 'cause he's a kid and kids are gross. 347 00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:06,086 Also, he is not my nemesis. 348 00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:07,421 [comical sounds playing] 349 00:13:08,422 --> 00:13:11,121 [audience booing] 350 00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:20,400 [ominous music playing] 351 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,201 [King Shark sniffs] Blood! 352 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,904 [growls] Ooh! Blood! 353 00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:26,573 [Robin screams] 354 00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:28,140 [shouting frantically] Help me! 355 00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,610 [King Shark growling] 356 00:13:29,710 --> 00:13:31,477 [groans] Aw, shit. 357 00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:34,014 Woo! He gonna get eaten! 358 00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:37,149 Please! I'll bring you on stage at the VMAs next week! 359 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,620 [frantically] Abort! Abort! King Shark, heel! 360 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,087 -[Robin] Let me down! Help! -Oh, you know what? This must be that 361 00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:43,155 "not being good with blood" thing. 362 00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:44,357 -I thought it just meant he got a little fainty. -[Robin screaming] 363 00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:45,525 I did too. 364 00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:46,559 It was misleading. 365 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:47,561 [laughs] How funny. 366 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,062 [growls] 367 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,063 -Hey! Stop that! Help! -[Harley grunts] 368 00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:52,265 [roars] 369 00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:57,003 [audience] Aww! 370 00:13:57,104 --> 00:13:59,339 -[King Shark growls] -[audience screams] 371 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:02,174 [growls] I'll kill you all! 372 00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:04,445 [Tawny screams] Everybody run! 373 00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:06,647 [Robin screaming] Help! Help! 374 00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:08,048 Batman! Batman! 375 00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,650 -[growls] -[screams] Father! Help! 376 00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:13,153 -No! Dad! Help! -[growls] 377 00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:18,871 -[screaming] -[growling] 378 00:14:25,499 --> 00:14:28,000 [Tawny] Ladies and gentleman, Batman! 379 00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:29,903 [audience cheering] 380 00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,004 What is this? 381 00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:33,173 Tawny? Are we live on Tawny? 382 00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:34,508 What the hell are you doing, Quinn? 383 00:14:34,508 --> 00:14:36,009 Changin' the optics? 384 00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,778 You almost killed my ward. 385 00:14:37,778 --> 00:14:40,346 You're going to Arkham for good, Quinn. 386 00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:43,283 [comical sounds playing] 387 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,985 [birds chirping] 388 00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:46,952 [alarm bells ringing] 389 00:14:49,155 --> 00:14:52,458 Bring it on, Bats! [laughs] 390 00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,193 Bats? 391 00:14:54,193 --> 00:14:55,961 [ringing continues] 392 00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:59,032 -[car honks] -Batman? 393 00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:00,500 -[car honks] -Is he... [groans] 394 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,067 This is no fun. 395 00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:03,470 Uh... Uh... boss? 396 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,471 Uh, uh, uh, what, Steve? 397 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,173 Spit it the fuck out. 398 00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:09,442 Oh, what the hell? 399 00:15:09,543 --> 00:15:12,346 -[Harley grunts on TV] -[disco music playing] 400 00:15:13,614 --> 00:15:15,381 Oh, what the hell? 401 00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:18,552 Okay. So, Batman blames Harley for endangering his ward, 402 00:15:18,652 --> 00:15:19,851 but Harley says 403 00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:22,456 she's just a supervillain looking for an adult-size nemesis. 404 00:15:22,456 --> 00:15:23,756 Y'all know what I'm talking about, right? 405 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,424 [Harley grunting] 406 00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:31,794 [audience applauding] 407 00:15:35,802 --> 00:15:37,336 [groans] 408 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,039 Use your fisticuffs, Harley! 409 00:15:40,139 --> 00:15:41,375 Game over, Quinn. 410 00:15:41,475 --> 00:15:42,975 [loud thudding] 411 00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:46,446 Let her go! 412 00:15:46,547 --> 00:15:49,216 Ivy! Always a delight. 413 00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:51,719 [audience screaming] 414 00:15:53,754 --> 00:15:56,990 [Batman grunts] 415 00:16:00,399 --> 00:16:02,000 -[Tawny squeals] -[audience exclaiming] 416 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,196 This is getting too good, y'all. 417 00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:04,764 Ive! You came to save me. 418 00:16:04,865 --> 00:16:06,232 Look, I always do. 419 00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:08,134 My entire existence seems to be spent 420 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,436 cleaning up your fuckin' messes. 421 00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:10,636 [audience exclaiming] 422 00:16:10,738 --> 00:16:11,738 Is that gonna be bleeped? 423 00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:13,440 Please welcome another surprise guest, 424 00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:16,342 -supervillain Poison Ivy. -Nope. 425 00:16:16,342 --> 00:16:17,344 [disco music playing] 426 00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:18,552 Not a guest. 427 00:16:18,552 --> 00:16:21,648 -Also, I actually identify as an eco-terrorist, so... -[audience cheering] 428 00:16:21,749 --> 00:16:24,216 Seems like you're having some animosity towards Harley 429 00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,719 for not respecting your boundaries. 430 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,120 Am I right audience? 431 00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,688 [audience booing] 432 00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,123 Tell us how you feel. 433 00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:31,625 -No, no, no. Not gonna do that. -Okay. 434 00:16:31,625 --> 00:16:33,125 But, since I'm here. 435 00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:34,695 If I could just... 436 00:16:34,695 --> 00:16:37,264 You don't have to rinse out your cans and bottles 437 00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,399 before putting them in the recycling bin, okay? 438 00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:41,301 That's just a myth and it wastes water. 439 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,535 [suspenseful music playing] 440 00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:46,706 [audience cheering] 441 00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,173 -[boy] Go, Batman! -N-n-no, no. Sit. 442 00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:49,174 [King Shark] Aww. 443 00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:51,443 [Harley grunts] 444 00:16:52,613 --> 00:16:54,748 [all cheering] 445 00:16:54,849 --> 00:16:57,250 [dramatic music playing] 446 00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,600 [all grunting] 447 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:08,760 [both grunt] 448 00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,230 -[audience] Ooh! -[gasps] 449 00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:11,329 [Harley chuckles] 450 00:17:12,231 --> 00:17:15,382 [grunting continues] 451 00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:18,739 [Ivy and Harley laugh] 452 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:25,345 Kill him, Ivy! 453 00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:28,214 Harley! What the fuck do you think you're doing? 454 00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:30,851 [squeals] Ooh-hoo-hoo! 455 00:17:30,951 --> 00:17:32,318 It's getting heated! 456 00:17:32,318 --> 00:17:35,321 Are you trying to steal my Batman? 457 00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:37,190 -Joker! - Uh, Batman. 458 00:17:37,289 --> 00:17:39,692 [chuckles] Joker seems to claim you as his nemesis. 459 00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,828 But you came here to fight, Harley. 460 00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:43,497 And now... [laughs] 461 00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:45,732 ...you're fighting Ivy. Which one is it? 462 00:17:45,833 --> 00:17:48,101 Me! I'm his, he's mine. 463 00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:49,702 I mean, we're together. Ha! 464 00:17:49,803 --> 00:17:50,804 [shouts] Oh! 465 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:53,405 [audience] Tawny! Tawny! Tawny! 466 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,542 [chanting continues on screen] 467 00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:58,178 [man cheering] I love you, Tawny! 468 00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:00,528 [all grunting] 469 00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:04,549 [beeping] 470 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:07,820 [all gasp] 471 00:18:07,922 --> 00:18:08,922 [Harley growls angrily] 472 00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:13,574 [Joker laughs] 473 00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:18,498 Dad! 474 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,267 [audience screaming] 475 00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:21,769 [Joker laughs] 476 00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:25,571 [disco music playing] 477 00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:26,906 [screaming continues] 478 00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:28,907 [beeping] 479 00:18:30,305 --> 00:18:31,305 Robin! 480 00:18:31,305 --> 00:18:33,881 If you want to see the Boy Wonder alive again, 481 00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:37,483 you better start showing up to my cool crimes. 482 00:18:39,318 --> 00:18:41,520 [audience screaming] 483 00:18:41,622 --> 00:18:44,290 Oh! What a show, folks! [laughs] 484 00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:47,294 -Well, I am spent. -[audience cheering and clapping] 485 00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:48,862 Well stay tuned 'cause up next, 486 00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,330 we're bringing out those rescued ferrets. 487 00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:52,865 [squeals] Ooh! I wanna squeeze one! 488 00:18:52,967 --> 00:18:54,534 Nope. Come on. We're leaving. 489 00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:59,306 [Poison Ivy sighs] Well, that was a shit show. 490 00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:01,093 Yeah! But, it was a fun show. 491 00:19:01,093 --> 00:19:03,777 -Except for Batman kickin' my ass on live TV. -[Harley grunts on TV] 492 00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:05,645 At least you got a swag bag, right? 493 00:19:05,746 --> 00:19:07,847 Ooh! Look at this. Organic shampoo. 494 00:19:07,948 --> 00:19:10,383 Ugh! It says for fine to normal hair. Damn it. 495 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:11,785 I can't believe after all this, 496 00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:13,486 I still don't have a nemesis. 497 00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:15,221 You know what? You can't force it. 498 00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:17,490 -I mean, there's someone out there just for you. -[sighs] 499 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,893 Do the crimes that make you happy and the rest will come. 500 00:19:19,893 --> 00:19:21,929 JKH, right? Just keep heisting. 501 00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:23,696 JK's already a thing. 502 00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,731 You add an 'H' to it, and I don't know what that is. 503 00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:26,866 It's muddled. 504 00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,060 Yeah, I'm not here to workshop this. 505 00:19:28,060 --> 00:19:29,736 Thanks for always givin' me great advice, Ive. 506 00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:31,304 Even if I don't always use it. 507 00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:32,571 You actually never use it. 508 00:19:32,673 --> 00:19:34,508 But I love never usin' your advice 509 00:19:34,508 --> 00:19:36,977 more than anyone else's advice I never use. 510 00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:38,878 Also, listen, I am very sorry 511 00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:40,980 for the way me and my crew have been treating' your place. 512 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,782 That changes today. 513 00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:45,652 Yes. We promise to keep your apartment much cleaner. 514 00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:47,220 Wait, why is he cleaning? 515 00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:49,690 Did you add that giant shark to your crew? 516 00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:51,892 Actually, I'm a normal-sized shark, 517 00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:54,326 but I suppose I am large for a man. 518 00:19:54,426 --> 00:19:56,229 And yes, I'm in the crew. 519 00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:59,665 It's just nice to be on a schedule. [laughs] 520 00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:01,500 Yeah, you saw what he can do when he flips out. 521 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:02,803 I mean, how am I gonna say no to that? 522 00:20:02,803 --> 00:20:04,738 Plus, he does computer good. 523 00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:07,606 That's it, you're outta here! 524 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,609 This is a formal eviction notice! 525 00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:12,278 You're evicting me? On what grounds? 526 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,615 Your lease says no pets! 527 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,583 -Him! -Well, that's racist! 528 00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:18,751 O-or at the very least xenophobic. 529 00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:19,751 Xena who? 530 00:20:19,751 --> 00:20:22,021 The bikini broad with a sword as big as she is? 531 00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:23,226 I love her! 532 00:20:23,226 --> 00:20:25,258 But that shark's been coming in here all week. 533 00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:26,287 Please, Sy. 534 00:20:26,287 --> 00:20:27,760 I love this apartment more than anything. 535 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,362 I-I'll kick them out. 536 00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:30,529 I'll kick all of them out. 537 00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:32,833 Too late! You're evicted, honey. 538 00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:36,435 Hey! At least you don't have to keep cleaning up after us any more, right? 539 00:20:36,435 --> 00:20:38,080 [stammers] 'Cause you know, let's be honest. 540 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,740 -It was really only gonna get worse. -[Ivy growls] 541 00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:41,340 -[loud thud] -[glass cracking] 542 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:45,679 [sighs] We can split that one. 543 00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:46,679 Sounds fair. 544 00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:48,315 [somber music playing] 545 00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:52,885 Damian, I made your favorite. 546 00:20:52,987 --> 00:20:55,655 You didn't make that. Alfred made that. 547 00:20:55,756 --> 00:21:00,094 I made him make it. 548 00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:02,496 Are you mad because I had to save you from Joker? 549 00:21:02,596 --> 00:21:04,396 No. I'm livid because 550 00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:07,567 everyone in Teen Titans is getting a nemesis, except me. 551 00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:10,336 [sigh] I'm gonna say something embarrassing here. 552 00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:13,539 I didn't have a nemesis until 553 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:14,641 my late 20s. 554 00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:16,308 Don't patronize me, Father. 555 00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:17,344 It's unbecoming. 556 00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:18,411 It's true. 557 00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:19,813 I wasn't ready for one. 558 00:21:19,913 --> 00:21:21,949 You want your first nemesis to be special. 559 00:21:22,048 --> 00:21:24,416 Someone who you could see being your nemesis 560 00:21:24,416 --> 00:21:25,885 for the rest of your life. 561 00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:27,887 I suppose you're right, Father. 562 00:21:27,988 --> 00:21:29,957 When can I start having sex? 563 00:21:30,057 --> 00:21:31,590 I think I hear the Bat Signal. 564 00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:34,426 [end theme music playing] 41263

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