Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Deconstructing Harry (1997)
aka "Woody Allen Fall Project 1996"
Marc2008 (2009), The Netherlands.
2
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:25,000
SUBRip by Cristo
cristo@konto.pl
3
00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:55,699
I could never
get those fires started.
4
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:58,460
Dad, are you gonna have chicken?
You want meat?
5
00:01:58,500 --> 00:01:59,779
Chicken's fine.
6
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,260
This is a brilliant article.
7
00:02:01,299 --> 00:02:02,259
Norman!
8
00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:04,660
Did you read
Ken's article on China?
9
00:02:04,699 --> 00:02:06,619
-No, I haven't.
-Terrific article.
10
00:02:06,659 --> 00:02:07,899
Where is Ken?
11
00:02:07,940 --> 00:02:10,619
In the house
watching the Yankee game.
12
00:02:10,660 --> 00:02:13,860
Your husband. Comes for a day
in the beautiful countryside...
13
00:02:13,899 --> 00:02:16,099
heads for the television set.
14
00:02:16,140 --> 00:02:17,980
Ken, come on, honey!
15
00:02:18,019 --> 00:02:20,540
How many people want chicken,
and how many want hamburgers?
16
00:02:20,580 --> 00:02:22,859
Two more outs! Three minutes!
17
00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:25,260
I think everybody's dying
for a little libation.
18
00:02:25,299 --> 00:02:27,659
Why don't you make
your famous Stoli martinis?
19
00:02:27,659 --> 00:02:30,700
Janet, when are you and Ken
gonna have a child?
20
00:02:30,740 --> 00:02:33,379
You've let your sister
have a big head start.
21
00:02:33,419 --> 00:02:35,940
Let Leslie practice viola
for six hours a day...
22
00:02:35,979 --> 00:02:37,540
then it's not so easy.
23
00:02:37,580 --> 00:02:39,259
Leave her alone.
24
00:02:47,219 --> 00:02:50,500
I came in here to make drinks
for everybody.
25
00:02:53,259 --> 00:02:54,939
What are you doing?
You want a drink?
26
00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:57,860
Sure.
27
00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:06,540
This is nuts.
28
00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:09,540
We gotta get out of here.
29
00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:17,060
Oh, God.
30
00:03:23,820 --> 00:03:25,060
We're gonna get caught.
31
00:03:25,099 --> 00:03:27,139
They're by the lake.
I can see everything.
32
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,380
They're deep in conversation.
33
00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:46,339
Wait! There's Janet!
34
00:03:50,700 --> 00:03:51,780
Ken...
35
00:03:53,499 --> 00:03:56,499
You can't scare me like that.
I grind my teeth.
36
00:03:56,539 --> 00:03:58,660
Just don't scare me like that.
37
00:03:58,699 --> 00:04:00,339
It was nothing.
Just a false alarm.
38
00:04:00,379 --> 00:04:02,740
Try not to actually chew.
39
00:04:02,780 --> 00:04:05,940
Wouldn't it be great
if we could be alone together?
40
00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:07,420
Just relaxed, you and me?
41
00:04:07,459 --> 00:04:08,859
It would be so great.
42
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:10,300
That would be so great.
43
00:04:10,339 --> 00:04:12,819
Let's hang in. You never know
what's gonna happen.
44
00:04:12,859 --> 00:04:13,939
Come on. Open wide.
45
00:04:13,980 --> 00:04:18,420
Ken, turn the Yankee game off
and come on out here now!
46
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:21,260
I will! Just one minute!
It's almost over!
47
00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:33,299
God. I'm done.
48
00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:35,380
You can come anytime you want.
49
00:04:35,420 --> 00:04:36,380
Can I?
50
00:04:38,540 --> 00:04:39,459
I'm ready!
51
00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:43,660
Leslie, is that you?
52
00:04:44,460 --> 00:04:46,859
Can you lead me
down to the lake?
53
00:04:46,859 --> 00:04:48,899
Can you give me just a minute,
Grandma?
54
00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:51,460
I'm just--I'm making martinis.
55
00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:53,060
Sure, dear.
56
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:54,499
I want to finish.
57
00:04:54,539 --> 00:04:55,779
Oh, Ken?
58
00:04:55,820 --> 00:04:56,940
Is that you?
59
00:04:57,419 --> 00:04:58,619
Finish what?
60
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:02,300
Come, Ken.
61
00:05:02,339 --> 00:05:03,660
Come?
62
00:05:03,699 --> 00:05:05,659
Come lead me down to the lake.
63
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:10,059
Ever since I lost my second eye,
I feel so frail.
64
00:05:13,019 --> 00:05:14,900
You don't have to moan about it.
65
00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:16,980
It's not that terrible.
66
00:05:17,019 --> 00:05:18,939
Ken is hurrying, Grandma.
67
00:05:18,980 --> 00:05:21,539
Would you do the olives, Ken?
Quickly?
68
00:05:21,579 --> 00:05:24,060
Oh, you know,
you can use onions, too.
69
00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:26,260
I prefer onions, don't you, Ken?
70
00:05:29,740 --> 00:05:32,740
Boy, you must really love
onions.
71
00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:37,260
How much do I--
72
00:05:42,860 --> 00:05:43,939
Lucy?
73
00:05:43,980 --> 00:05:45,460
You schmuck! You bastard!
74
00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:47,140
I'd like to cut your head off.
75
00:05:47,660 --> 00:05:49,060
You're upset, right?
76
00:05:49,379 --> 00:05:52,060
How could you? Didn't you know
what would happen?
77
00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:53,740
What?
78
00:05:53,779 --> 00:05:56,060
Don't answer me, prick.
79
00:05:56,099 --> 00:05:58,780
You knew.
You just didn't give a shit.
80
00:05:58,820 --> 00:06:01,700
Why don't you take
your coat off and just...
81
00:06:01,739 --> 00:06:03,580
How could you write that book?
82
00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:04,860
Are you so selfish?
83
00:06:04,899 --> 00:06:07,580
You're so self-engrossed
you don't care who you destroy?
84
00:06:07,619 --> 00:06:10,659
You told our whole story!
85
00:06:11,619 --> 00:06:13,900
All the details.
You gave me away to my sister.
86
00:06:13,939 --> 00:06:16,100
Marvin's left me. He's gone.
87
00:06:16,579 --> 00:06:19,100
It was loosely based on us.
88
00:06:19,139 --> 00:06:21,700
Don't bullshit me, motherfucker!
89
00:06:22,019 --> 00:06:23,579
Who do you think
you're talking to...
90
00:06:23,620 --> 00:06:25,700
one of those retarded
talk-show hosts?
91
00:06:27,460 --> 00:06:29,019
I lived through it with you.
92
00:06:29,059 --> 00:06:30,939
I know how loosely based it is.
93
00:06:30,979 --> 00:06:32,859
Hey, what are you telling me...
94
00:06:32,899 --> 00:06:36,019
that your blind grandmother
caught us fucking one day?
95
00:06:36,739 --> 00:06:38,180
No, No. Of course.
96
00:06:38,219 --> 00:06:40,539
You made a few
stupid exaggerations...
97
00:06:40,579 --> 00:06:44,099
or, as the critics say,
"inspired comic flights."
98
00:06:44,139 --> 00:06:46,220
But Jane recognized it.
99
00:06:46,260 --> 00:06:48,140
You'd have to be submental
not to.
100
00:06:48,180 --> 00:06:50,220
And Marvin was crushed!
101
00:06:50,260 --> 00:06:51,499
Jane suspected us.
102
00:06:51,539 --> 00:06:53,579
I can't tell you how long
Jane suspected us.
103
00:06:53,620 --> 00:06:55,499
I know! I denied it!
104
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:56,940
And now you've gone...
105
00:06:56,980 --> 00:06:59,459
you've gone
and confirmed it all for her.
106
00:06:59,860 --> 00:07:03,140
Big fuckin' deal--
you made Leslie shorter.
107
00:07:03,179 --> 00:07:04,740
Big fuckin' deal!
108
00:07:04,780 --> 00:07:05,939
But it's all here.
109
00:07:06,540 --> 00:07:09,700
The poor schmuck country doctor,
the violinist...
110
00:07:09,739 --> 00:07:12,980
her younger sister
cheating with her husband.
111
00:07:13,459 --> 00:07:15,860
The picture window,
for Christ's sake!
112
00:07:16,459 --> 00:07:18,380
Cruel observations
about Marvin...
113
00:07:18,419 --> 00:07:20,420
with his barbecue
and chef's hat.
114
00:07:21,139 --> 00:07:22,379
And, of course, Jane...
115
00:07:22,419 --> 00:07:26,140
or, as you pathetically
disguise her...
116
00:07:26,619 --> 00:07:27,739
Janet.
117
00:07:28,660 --> 00:07:29,860
Here it is.
118
00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:33,899
"It was not simply that Leslie
had become numbed...
119
00:07:33,899 --> 00:07:36,020
"with the inane spate
of leaden perceptions...
120
00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:38,540
"that passed for wit
from Marvin.
121
00:07:38,579 --> 00:07:41,380
"It was not even the image
she shared with Ken...
122
00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:44,899
"of Marvin's flaccid,
microscopic member...
123
00:07:44,940 --> 00:07:47,140
"jiggling up and down
as he bounced naked...
124
00:07:47,180 --> 00:07:50,460
"across the icy floor
of their Connecticut home...
125
00:07:50,539 --> 00:07:52,100
"to close the storm windows.
126
00:07:52,620 --> 00:07:55,019
"It was that she
had never loved him...
127
00:07:55,339 --> 00:07:57,700
"but wanted to have children...
128
00:07:57,740 --> 00:07:59,780
"to retaliate against
her older sister...
129
00:07:59,819 --> 00:08:02,019
"who did not have
a maternal bone in her being...
130
00:08:02,059 --> 00:08:03,939
"and whose every inch,
Leslie felt...
131
00:08:03,979 --> 00:08:06,579
"was occupied
by gluttonous self-love.
132
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:09,220
"Ken ran his hand over
Leslie's large round breasts...
133
00:08:09,260 --> 00:08:10,659
"and mounted her from the rear."
134
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,739
Big fuckin' deal.
You gave her large breasts.
135
00:08:12,780 --> 00:08:14,180
Leslie, please--
136
00:08:14,219 --> 00:08:15,300
Lucy!
137
00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:19,100
I'm Lucy, motherfucker!
138
00:08:19,979 --> 00:08:22,339
Not Leslie.
139
00:08:24,099 --> 00:08:26,419
Except, of course,
I am Leslie...
140
00:08:26,459 --> 00:08:29,059
because you made no attempt
to disguise anything.
141
00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:30,460
You didn't give a fuck!
142
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:32,739
You didn't care enough
to disguise anything!
143
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:34,180
Please! Jesus!
144
00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:35,899
You pulled out two years ago.
145
00:08:35,939 --> 00:08:37,699
You broke my fuckin' heart.
146
00:08:37,740 --> 00:08:40,340
You left your wife and me...
147
00:08:40,380 --> 00:08:42,420
for some little cooze!
148
00:08:42,460 --> 00:08:43,940
Me and Janet!
149
00:08:44,380 --> 00:08:46,459
Jane. Janet is the character.
150
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:50,140
Now, two years on...
151
00:08:50,620 --> 00:08:52,499
your latest magnum opus...
152
00:08:52,540 --> 00:08:56,219
emerges from this sewer
of an apartment...
153
00:08:56,260 --> 00:08:57,820
where you take
everyone's suffering...
154
00:08:57,859 --> 00:08:59,540
and turn it into gold.
155
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:01,139
Literary gold.
156
00:09:01,179 --> 00:09:03,820
Everyone's misery.
You even cause them misery.
157
00:09:03,859 --> 00:09:06,460
Mix your alchemy
and make it into gold...
158
00:09:06,499 --> 00:09:08,659
like some fuckin'
black magician!
159
00:09:08,699 --> 00:09:09,779
Give me a break.
160
00:09:09,819 --> 00:09:12,020
I'm the one who wound up
in Bellevue.
161
00:09:12,060 --> 00:09:13,940
-You deserve it and worse.
-Lucy!
162
00:09:13,980 --> 00:09:15,139
You've ruined my life!
163
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:16,820
I've come here
to blow my brains out!
164
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:17,940
What's wrong with you?
165
00:09:17,980 --> 00:09:21,579
In front of you on your carpet
because you caused it.
166
00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:23,060
My fuckin' brains
on your carpet!
167
00:09:23,099 --> 00:09:24,980
You're so fucking unstable!
Will you relax?
168
00:09:25,019 --> 00:09:27,059
That's why you picked me.
169
00:09:27,099 --> 00:09:28,979
That's what turns you on
about me--
170
00:09:29,019 --> 00:09:30,099
Jane's crazy sister.
171
00:09:30,140 --> 00:09:32,340
Calm down.
You're not gonna kill yourself.
172
00:09:33,020 --> 00:09:35,060
No, you're not,
because it's not in you.
173
00:09:35,100 --> 00:09:37,940
You're not the dramatic type.
You never were.
174
00:09:37,980 --> 00:09:39,859
Jane is the dramatic sister.
175
00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:41,980
Jane is the solo violinist.
176
00:09:43,860 --> 00:09:45,940
Relax. For Christ's sake.
177
00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:48,700
You're right.
178
00:09:50,980 --> 00:09:53,340
I don't have the nerve
to kill myself.
179
00:09:55,619 --> 00:09:57,980
I knew it as I came over here.
180
00:09:59,419 --> 00:10:02,619
I said, no, not me.
181
00:10:05,260 --> 00:10:06,380
Better...
182
00:10:07,259 --> 00:10:08,700
to kill him.
183
00:10:09,699 --> 00:10:11,140
Pardon me?
184
00:10:11,180 --> 00:10:13,380
Kill the black magician...
185
00:10:13,419 --> 00:10:17,100
so he can't spin any more gold
out of human misery.
186
00:10:17,139 --> 00:10:18,700
What's wrong with you?
187
00:10:18,740 --> 00:10:20,620
-Shut up!
-Put it down!
188
00:10:20,660 --> 00:10:21,900
You're so fuckin' verbal!
189
00:10:21,939 --> 00:10:24,659
Who else could have talked me
into giving him a blow job...
190
00:10:24,699 --> 00:10:26,299
at my father's funeral?
191
00:10:26,339 --> 00:10:27,100
Lucy, think it over.
192
00:10:30,780 --> 00:10:31,939
You stop right there!
193
00:10:31,979 --> 00:10:34,019
Don't shoot!
Don't pull the trigger.
194
00:10:34,060 --> 00:10:37,340
Look, If it makes you happy,
my life has been going badly.
195
00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:39,140
I've been miserable.
My girl left me.
196
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,820
She went off
with a close friend of mine.
197
00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:43,219
Insomnia. I've got herpes.
198
00:10:43,260 --> 00:10:44,660
I've squandered
everything I have
199
00:10:44,699 --> 00:10:47,500
on shrinks and lawyers
and whores.
200
00:10:47,540 --> 00:10:48,740
...fatigue syndrome.
201
00:10:48,780 --> 00:10:51,620
I'm not gonna stand up here
on this fucking roof...
202
00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:54,620
with a world-class
meshugana cunt...
203
00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:55,620
and beg for my life.
204
00:10:55,659 --> 00:10:57,100
If you want to, shoot me.
205
00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:58,500
I was working. You interrupted.
206
00:10:58,539 --> 00:11:00,820
So whose life
were you exploiting today?
207
00:11:00,859 --> 00:11:02,019
You'll be very happy--
208
00:11:02,060 --> 00:11:04,780
I was working on
an autobiographical thing...
209
00:11:04,820 --> 00:11:06,619
about when I was first married.
210
00:11:08,299 --> 00:11:10,339
Harvey Stern married too young--
211
00:11:10,379 --> 00:11:12,259
mainly to get out
of his parents' apartment...
212
00:11:12,299 --> 00:11:14,260
which was
a rent-controlled cornucopia...
213
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:17,739
of guilt, antagonism,
and soul-deadening criticism.
214
00:11:17,779 --> 00:11:20,619
By day, he labored listlessly
in a shoe store.
215
00:11:20,659 --> 00:11:24,140
By night, he glowed intensely
over his Remington portable.
216
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:26,419
Are you coming to bed?
217
00:11:27,659 --> 00:11:30,460
Rosalee, I'm in the middle
of a sentence...
218
00:11:30,499 --> 00:11:34,180
I'm feeling rejected because
we never sleep together anymore.
219
00:11:34,219 --> 00:11:37,099
I don't know what it is.
I'm just not attracted to her.
220
00:11:37,140 --> 00:11:38,619
Is she doing something
to put you off?
221
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:40,699
It's my fault, too.
222
00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:43,900
And I lie. I tell her
I'm too wrapped up in work...
223
00:11:43,939 --> 00:11:45,339
but the opposite is true.
224
00:11:45,380 --> 00:11:48,219
I'm hyper-sexually aroused,
just not for her.
225
00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:50,699
-Who for?
-Anyone else.
226
00:11:50,740 --> 00:11:53,340
She has a sister.
I'm dying to fuck her.
227
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,339
A doll. Thick lips.
228
00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:57,860
Her friend from Columbia.
Jennifer? I dream of her.
229
00:11:57,900 --> 00:12:00,019
I never thought I could care
about African history...
230
00:12:00,060 --> 00:12:01,539
but she's spellbinding.
231
00:12:01,580 --> 00:12:04,259
The truth is,
I never meet or see a woman...
232
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:07,139
that I don't wonder what it
would be like in bed with her.
233
00:12:10,979 --> 00:12:12,379
I met a great hooker.
234
00:12:13,059 --> 00:12:14,299
A hooker?
235
00:12:14,340 --> 00:12:15,740
Yeah. Beautiful.
236
00:12:15,779 --> 00:12:17,340
From China.
237
00:12:17,380 --> 00:12:19,739
Unbelievable body.
238
00:12:19,779 --> 00:12:23,540
Schooled by tradition
in the art of pleasing men.
239
00:12:23,579 --> 00:12:25,020
It's 50 clams.
240
00:12:25,819 --> 00:12:27,940
Wouldn't you be cheating
on your wife?
241
00:12:27,979 --> 00:12:30,540
It's not cheating.
She's a hooker.
242
00:12:30,579 --> 00:12:32,659
It's not like
I'm having a love affair.
243
00:12:33,140 --> 00:12:35,499
You don't feel
for a professional girl...
244
00:12:35,539 --> 00:12:37,339
the way you do for your wife.
245
00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:39,619
She comes over,
rubs on her oils...
246
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:40,820
Oils?
247
00:12:41,299 --> 00:12:43,980
Into the sack,
she takes you to the moon.
248
00:12:44,019 --> 00:12:46,580
You lay half a C-note on her,
and she's history.
249
00:12:47,540 --> 00:12:49,219
Where would you do it?
250
00:12:49,259 --> 00:12:51,859
I couldn't have her come
to my apartment.
251
00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:53,020
Get a hotel room.
252
00:12:53,059 --> 00:12:55,139
That's what I do
when the wife's home.
253
00:12:57,859 --> 00:13:00,659
I don't have that kind of dough.
Fifty's a lot in itself.
254
00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:03,180
Maybe a friend
will let you use his place.
255
00:13:03,219 --> 00:13:06,220
Kid, you're always bitchin'
about your sex life.
256
00:13:06,259 --> 00:13:07,540
I'm trying to help.
257
00:13:08,979 --> 00:13:11,020
I tell her
you gave me the number?
258
00:13:11,059 --> 00:13:13,219
No, no. Not my name.
259
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:14,980
Don't use your real name.
260
00:13:15,019 --> 00:13:16,659
No, of course.
Not the real name.
261
00:13:16,699 --> 00:13:19,139
Tell you what you do.
You borrow a friend's apartment.
262
00:13:19,179 --> 00:13:22,100
You use his name.
That way, it'll be on the bell.
263
00:13:23,580 --> 00:13:25,500
Now good fortune
smiled on Harvey...
264
00:13:25,540 --> 00:13:28,100
as one of his closest friends,
Mendel Birnbaum...
265
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,540
was hit by a car...
266
00:13:29,579 --> 00:13:31,860
and lay hovering
between life and death...
267
00:13:31,899 --> 00:13:33,259
at New York hospital...
268
00:13:33,299 --> 00:13:37,379
thus freeing up an apartment
for Harvey's tryst.
269
00:13:37,419 --> 00:13:39,780
Donning the other man's
silk robe...
270
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:42,219
Harvey became the swinger
Mendel Birnbaum...
271
00:13:42,260 --> 00:13:46,820
and awaited his Oriental
passport to paradise.
272
00:13:46,859 --> 00:13:49,219
You must be Mendel Birnbaum.
273
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:11,259
Did you enjoy it?
274
00:14:11,299 --> 00:14:12,980
Are you kidding?
I'll be right back.
275
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:14,179
Where you going?
276
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:17,059
I'm gonna see
if I can find another 50.
277
00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:18,500
I'd like to go again.
278
00:14:36,820 --> 00:14:38,740
Open.
279
00:14:38,780 --> 00:14:40,459
Who is it?
280
00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:47,020
Who are you?
281
00:14:47,059 --> 00:14:49,500
I've come for you.
282
00:14:49,539 --> 00:14:50,820
What are you talking about?
283
00:14:50,860 --> 00:14:55,979
I'm Death,
and your name is on my list.
284
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,940
No, no, no. Wait a minute.
You've made a mistake.
285
00:14:59,019 --> 00:15:01,179
You don't have a minute.
286
00:15:01,219 --> 00:15:02,579
I'm not Mendel Birnb--
287
00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:05,380
Don't give me that bullshit!
288
00:15:05,419 --> 00:15:07,259
Look at your monogram.
289
00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:10,060
Mendel, who are you talking to?
290
00:15:10,099 --> 00:15:11,379
Stop calling me Mendel.
291
00:15:11,420 --> 00:15:12,660
I'm just using his pad.
292
00:15:12,699 --> 00:15:13,780
Right.
293
00:15:13,819 --> 00:15:16,380
They always have an excuse.
294
00:15:16,419 --> 00:15:17,499
Let's go.
295
00:15:17,539 --> 00:15:20,019
Move it, you little putz.
296
00:15:20,780 --> 00:15:23,620
I'm standing on the roof,
and she's pointing a gun at me.
297
00:15:23,660 --> 00:15:26,060
We're out in the cold,
and I'm panicked.
298
00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:29,019
I'm telling her about a story
I wrote when I was younger...
299
00:15:29,059 --> 00:15:30,819
and she found it funny,
thank God.
300
00:15:30,860 --> 00:15:33,019
She laughed.
301
00:15:33,060 --> 00:15:35,300
She relaxed a little.
She put the gun down.
302
00:15:35,339 --> 00:15:36,699
And you know.
303
00:15:36,739 --> 00:15:38,779
So your writing saved your life.
304
00:15:38,820 --> 00:15:41,139
It's amazing to me.
305
00:15:41,180 --> 00:15:43,220
The interesting thing to me...
306
00:15:43,260 --> 00:15:45,219
apart from the obvious
sexual guilt...
307
00:15:45,259 --> 00:15:48,259
that I had when I was
a young man in the story...
308
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:50,459
is that nothing's changed.
309
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:52,260
It's years later.
310
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:54,419
I had a shrink then,
I have a shrink now.
311
00:15:54,460 --> 00:15:55,899
I'm 6 shrinks later.
312
00:15:55,980 --> 00:15:57,859
I'm 3 wives down the line...
313
00:15:57,900 --> 00:16:00,619
and I still can't get
my love life in order.
314
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:03,140
I still love whores.
315
00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:08,340
To me, the ideal thing
is you pay them...
316
00:16:08,379 --> 00:16:09,980
and they come over
to the house...
317
00:16:10,020 --> 00:16:12,980
and you don't have to discuss
Proust or films or--
318
00:16:14,059 --> 00:16:15,460
I don't know
what's been happening to me.
319
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:20,899
You know,
I just have not grown up...
320
00:16:20,940 --> 00:16:23,460
and I feel, you know,
it's not...
321
00:16:23,499 --> 00:16:25,819
I see other guys my age.
322
00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:28,380
I'm always thinking of fucking
every woman I meet.
323
00:16:28,419 --> 00:16:31,739
I meet a woman, a stranger,
a woman on the bus...
324
00:16:31,780 --> 00:16:33,659
I think, what would she
look like naked?
325
00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:35,579
Is it possible I can fuck her?
326
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,179
This is crazy.
327
00:16:37,219 --> 00:16:40,379
I see guys I know
that are lawyers and doctors.
328
00:16:40,420 --> 00:16:41,579
They have families and houses.
329
00:16:41,619 --> 00:16:43,499
They're not so...
330
00:16:43,539 --> 00:16:45,739
Does the President
of the United States...
331
00:16:45,780 --> 00:16:47,020
want to fuck every woman he met.
332
00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:50,140
Bad example.
333
00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:52,459
But I don't know.
334
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:54,300
Take Raoul Wallenberg.
335
00:16:54,339 --> 00:16:57,180
Did he want to bang every
cocktail waitress in Europe?
336
00:16:57,219 --> 00:16:58,980
Probably not, but...
337
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:01,099
Tell me about
your honoring ceremony tomorrow.
338
00:17:01,140 --> 00:17:03,139
Oh, that's bullshit.
339
00:17:03,180 --> 00:17:07,099
It's ironic that the same school
that threw me out years ago...
340
00:17:07,139 --> 00:17:08,700
now wants to honor me.
341
00:17:08,739 --> 00:17:10,340
Why'd they throw you out?
342
00:17:10,379 --> 00:17:13,380
Because I was not interested
in college.
343
00:17:13,419 --> 00:17:14,899
I wanted to be a writer.
344
00:17:14,939 --> 00:17:16,540
That's all I cared about
was writing.
345
00:17:16,579 --> 00:17:18,700
I did not care
about the real world.
346
00:17:18,740 --> 00:17:21,539
I cared
only about the world of fiction.
347
00:17:21,580 --> 00:17:24,740
And, plus, I tried to give
the dean's wife an enema...
348
00:17:24,779 --> 00:17:26,859
so they didn't take
kindly to that.
349
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:29,219
But the sad thing is...
350
00:17:29,260 --> 00:17:32,619
I gotta drive upstate
to be honored...
351
00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,340
and I have to go by myself.
352
00:17:34,379 --> 00:17:35,779
I got nobody to go with.
353
00:17:35,820 --> 00:17:38,259
It's, you know, I--
OK, so--
354
00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:41,019
And--
You know, I can't--
355
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,100
What about bringing your son up
with you?
356
00:17:43,140 --> 00:17:45,379
It's not my visiting time
with him.
357
00:17:45,420 --> 00:17:47,419
And Joan
is completely inflexible.
358
00:17:47,459 --> 00:17:49,820
She won't trade dates with you?
359
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,819
I can't even
get her on the phone.
360
00:17:51,859 --> 00:17:54,419
She hates me.
361
00:17:54,459 --> 00:17:55,860
I don't know. Lately...
362
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:59,140
For the first time in my life,
I experienced writer's block.
363
00:17:59,180 --> 00:18:01,380
This, to me, is unheard of.
364
00:18:01,419 --> 00:18:04,739
I start these short stories,
and I can't finish them.
365
00:18:04,780 --> 00:18:07,940
I can't get into my novel
at all...
366
00:18:07,980 --> 00:18:09,700
because I took an advance.
367
00:18:11,179 --> 00:18:13,219
I don't know.
368
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:17,380
I find that I'm taking
more pills and medicine and...
369
00:18:17,420 --> 00:18:19,220
You remind me
of that short story...
370
00:18:19,259 --> 00:18:21,859
you were working on
maybe two months ago--
371
00:18:21,899 --> 00:18:23,099
The Actor.
372
00:18:24,459 --> 00:18:26,259
This goddamn lens
has something wrong with it.
373
00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:27,820
This one, too?
I changed lenses.
374
00:18:27,860 --> 00:18:29,900
The focus is off.
375
00:18:29,939 --> 00:18:31,619
I don't know why.
376
00:18:31,660 --> 00:18:33,539
It's out of focus.
377
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:35,019
All the lenses can't be soft.
378
00:18:35,059 --> 00:18:36,500
Let's move it along.
379
00:18:36,539 --> 00:18:38,179
It's getting late.
Let's move it.
380
00:18:38,219 --> 00:18:40,740
I'm trying to shoot Mel,
and he's soft.
381
00:18:40,779 --> 00:18:42,699
Where are you renting
these lenses?
382
00:18:42,739 --> 00:18:44,059
The lenses are fine.
383
00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:46,539
Holy shit. Mel's out of focus.
384
00:18:46,579 --> 00:18:47,899
That's what I said, genius.
385
00:18:47,939 --> 00:18:50,060
I don't mean the lens.
Mel himself.
386
00:18:50,099 --> 00:18:51,540
Let me see.
387
00:18:51,580 --> 00:18:54,020
You're right.
Mel's out of focus.
388
00:18:54,060 --> 00:18:55,780
What are you talking about?
389
00:18:55,820 --> 00:18:57,900
The actor's out of focus.
390
00:18:57,939 --> 00:18:59,179
How can this be?
391
00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:00,579
Is there something wrong?
392
00:19:00,620 --> 00:19:01,820
Mel, come here.
393
00:19:01,860 --> 00:19:05,020
I don't know
how to tell you this.
394
00:19:05,059 --> 00:19:06,220
You're soft.
395
00:19:06,260 --> 00:19:07,979
I've gained a little weight.
396
00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:09,859
It's not that. You're soft.
397
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:11,939
You're out of focus.
398
00:19:11,980 --> 00:19:13,220
I don't know why.
399
00:19:13,260 --> 00:19:14,819
Is there anything we can do?
400
00:19:14,860 --> 00:19:16,699
I can't adjust this.
401
00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:18,580
Just look at yourself.
402
00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:20,540
There's nothing to do.
403
00:19:20,579 --> 00:19:22,460
You sure you're OK?
404
00:19:22,540 --> 00:19:24,819
It's fuzzy.
405
00:19:24,860 --> 00:19:26,059
I feel fine.
406
00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:27,579
Mel's out of focus.
407
00:19:27,660 --> 00:19:29,140
He's soft.
408
00:19:29,180 --> 00:19:30,820
I don't know what to do.
409
00:19:30,859 --> 00:19:32,420
It's almost 4:00 anyway.
410
00:19:32,460 --> 00:19:34,019
Why don't we just wrap?
411
00:19:34,060 --> 00:19:36,260
We'll wrap
and see what happens.
412
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:40,899
I want you to go home and rest.
413
00:19:40,940 --> 00:19:42,939
See if you can sharpen up.
414
00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:50,260
Grace, I'm home.
415
00:19:52,460 --> 00:19:54,419
Hey. What's the matter?
416
00:19:54,459 --> 00:19:56,379
You look strange.
417
00:19:56,420 --> 00:19:58,019
I'm out of focus.
418
00:19:58,060 --> 00:20:02,299
Yeah, you are.
Just a little bit.
419
00:20:02,379 --> 00:20:03,460
And you look pale.
420
00:20:03,499 --> 00:20:05,220
Daddy, you're all blurry.
421
00:20:05,259 --> 00:20:07,300
Maybe you should lie down.
422
00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:09,500
Daddy's out of focus!
423
00:20:09,539 --> 00:20:11,299
Daddy doesn't need that, OK?
424
00:20:11,339 --> 00:20:13,060
You be nice.
425
00:20:13,099 --> 00:20:15,299
What happened at work?
426
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:16,819
Daddy's out of focus!
427
00:20:16,860 --> 00:20:18,100
Rueben! Stop it!
428
00:20:18,140 --> 00:20:22,380
They thought it was the camera.
Then...it was me.
429
00:20:22,419 --> 00:20:24,180
They sent me home.
It's so humiliating.
430
00:20:24,219 --> 00:20:27,060
Did you eat anything strange
at lunch? Any shellfish?
431
00:20:27,099 --> 00:20:30,099
This isn't an allergic reaction.
I don't know what it is.
432
00:20:30,139 --> 00:20:32,419
I just need to get
a good night's sleep.
433
00:20:32,459 --> 00:20:33,699
I'll be OK.
434
00:20:33,740 --> 00:20:34,899
I'm sure that's all it is.
435
00:20:34,939 --> 00:20:36,220
What happened to you?
436
00:20:36,259 --> 00:20:40,580
You get a good night's sleep,
and tomorrow you'll be fine.
437
00:20:40,620 --> 00:20:44,020
The following morning, however,
things did not improve.
438
00:20:44,060 --> 00:20:46,340
In fact, the situation
had gotten worse.
439
00:20:46,380 --> 00:20:48,940
Mel was more out of focus
than ever.
440
00:20:48,980 --> 00:20:50,180
I gotta get to the doctor.
441
00:20:52,179 --> 00:20:54,419
I've never seen anything
like this.
442
00:20:54,460 --> 00:20:57,659
Nothing's is wrong with you,
except you're out of focus.
443
00:20:57,699 --> 00:20:59,780
What's the matter?
444
00:20:59,820 --> 00:21:02,059
It's from looking at Mel,
I'm seasick.
445
00:21:02,099 --> 00:21:04,379
That's why I want everyone
to try these.
446
00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:08,099
I don't want to wear glasses.
447
00:21:08,139 --> 00:21:10,340
Wait. Let's see.
448
00:21:10,380 --> 00:21:12,659
Put 'em on
so you can see me, son.
449
00:21:12,700 --> 00:21:14,060
This is much better.
450
00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:15,700
You'll be able to see me.
451
00:21:15,740 --> 00:21:17,459
Put those on.
Daddy'll be sharper.
452
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:19,420
Don't you want to see Daddy?
453
00:21:19,460 --> 00:21:21,539
Put those on,
and we won't get headaches.
454
00:21:21,579 --> 00:21:25,700
Despite the fact that children
don't want to wear glasses...
455
00:21:25,740 --> 00:21:27,140
they're forced to.
456
00:21:28,139 --> 00:21:32,259
You expect the world to adjust
to the distortion you've become.
457
00:21:32,300 --> 00:21:33,940
I don't expect anything.
458
00:21:33,980 --> 00:21:36,980
I'm going through something--
I don't know what.
459
00:21:37,019 --> 00:21:40,700
For the first time in my life,
I can't seem to write.
460
00:21:40,739 --> 00:21:41,940
It's not coming.
461
00:21:41,979 --> 00:21:43,939
And for me...
462
00:21:43,980 --> 00:21:46,499
all I have in life
is my imagination.
463
00:21:46,539 --> 00:21:48,660
I'm sorry. Our time is up.
464
00:21:48,699 --> 00:21:50,860
Have a good time
at the honoring ceremony.
465
00:21:50,899 --> 00:21:53,060
I think it would be good
for you and your son...
466
00:21:53,099 --> 00:21:55,100
if you brought him along.
467
00:21:57,219 --> 00:21:59,259
Joan, you never
return my phone calls.
468
00:21:59,299 --> 00:22:01,380
Oh, leave me alone.
469
00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:03,259
Do you want me to call
the police?
470
00:22:03,300 --> 00:22:04,860
I've got to ask you
one question.
471
00:22:04,899 --> 00:22:06,780
I don't want to listen to you.
472
00:22:06,860 --> 00:22:09,579
Tomorrow they're honoring me
at Adair, my old university.
473
00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:10,819
I want to take Hilly.
474
00:22:10,860 --> 00:22:12,100
He has school tomorrow.
475
00:22:12,139 --> 00:22:14,020
I want to trade
one visitation day.
476
00:22:14,059 --> 00:22:15,299
I have plans with Hilly.
477
00:22:15,339 --> 00:22:16,579
It'll be good to see.
478
00:22:16,620 --> 00:22:18,499
The kid will see
his father honored.
479
00:22:18,540 --> 00:22:20,740
I don't want him to see you!
480
00:22:20,779 --> 00:22:23,740
He'll have a day in the country.
Will you stop for one second?
481
00:22:23,780 --> 00:22:26,139
A day in the country.
What is so bad?
482
00:22:26,179 --> 00:22:27,539
He is nine years old.
483
00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:30,900
Where does he learn phrases like
"banging beaver" and "fuck God?"
484
00:22:30,939 --> 00:22:32,260
What, from me?
485
00:22:32,299 --> 00:22:33,859
What do I look like,
an imbecile?
486
00:22:33,900 --> 00:22:36,220
I know what your conversations
are like with him...
487
00:22:36,260 --> 00:22:38,700
and don't think I didn't hear
about Open School Week.
488
00:22:38,740 --> 00:22:41,340
Beth Kramer has never been
so appalled in her entire life!
489
00:22:41,379 --> 00:22:44,419
Dad, why doesn't my penis
look like yours?
490
00:22:45,059 --> 00:22:47,259
Why doesn't your penis
look like mine?
491
00:22:47,299 --> 00:22:51,300
Because your mother and I
never had you circumcised.
492
00:22:51,740 --> 00:22:53,820
When I was your age,
every kid in my neighborhood--
493
00:22:53,859 --> 00:22:57,019
you know what they used to do?
They'd name their penises.
494
00:22:57,060 --> 00:22:58,620
I'm going to name mine
Dillinger.
495
00:22:58,659 --> 00:23:00,459
Dillinger is perfect!
496
00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:01,900
Dillinger is great!
497
00:23:01,939 --> 00:23:03,619
Hilly, you're inspired.
You're a genius.
498
00:23:03,660 --> 00:23:06,859
Dillinger was one of the great
geniuses of his profession.
499
00:23:06,899 --> 00:23:08,460
Like Willy Sutton.
500
00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:10,660
Remember when we discussed
Freud once?
501
00:23:10,699 --> 00:23:14,060
Freud said the 2 most important
things to having a good life...
502
00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:16,940
are the work that you choose
and sex.
503
00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:18,539
Those are the 2 things.
504
00:23:18,579 --> 00:23:20,660
Women are God.
505
00:23:20,700 --> 00:23:21,900
God's a woman?
506
00:23:21,940 --> 00:23:24,140
I'm not saying God's a woman.
507
00:23:24,179 --> 00:23:25,860
There are women.
508
00:23:25,900 --> 00:23:28,419
We don't know if there's a God,
but there are women...
509
00:23:28,460 --> 00:23:31,620
not in some imaginary heaven,
but right here on earth.
510
00:23:31,660 --> 00:23:36,460
And some of them, Hilly,
shop at Victoria's Secret.
511
00:23:36,499 --> 00:23:40,260
Beth Kramer has never been
so mortified in her life.
512
00:23:40,300 --> 00:23:43,619
Beth Kramer's an aggressive,
tight-assed, busybody cunt...
513
00:23:43,659 --> 00:23:46,539
and it's none of her business
how I speak to my son.
514
00:23:46,580 --> 00:23:48,900
Beth Kramer is a decent parent
and a great friend.
515
00:23:48,940 --> 00:23:50,060
Oh, Bullshit.
516
00:23:50,099 --> 00:23:52,299
I'm asking you to change
one visitation day.
517
00:23:52,340 --> 00:23:53,659
What is so terrible?
518
00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:56,220
He is not gonna miss
a day of school.
519
00:23:56,259 --> 00:23:57,740
What if he was sick?
520
00:23:57,779 --> 00:24:00,020
He would miss school.
521
00:24:00,060 --> 00:24:01,660
But he is not sick...
522
00:24:01,700 --> 00:24:03,900
and he's not gonna
spend the afternoon...
523
00:24:03,939 --> 00:24:06,340
with his pill-popping,
alcoholic...
524
00:24:06,380 --> 00:24:09,220
beaver-banging excuse
for a father.
525
00:24:09,260 --> 00:24:11,460
Years ago,
you didn't say that about me.
526
00:24:11,499 --> 00:24:12,579
You didn't think that.
527
00:24:12,619 --> 00:24:14,340
You were a nice, loose,
easygoing spirit.
528
00:24:14,379 --> 00:24:15,619
Put it in a book!
529
00:24:15,660 --> 00:24:17,699
What am I saying?
You already did.
530
00:24:18,580 --> 00:24:21,499
Epstein had married
his third shrink.
531
00:24:21,580 --> 00:24:24,340
He had confessed his feelings
toward her several times...
532
00:24:24,379 --> 00:24:26,940
and it seemed she had put it
down to transference...
533
00:24:26,979 --> 00:24:29,420
but one day, she surprised him.
534
00:24:29,459 --> 00:24:31,180
I think it best...
535
00:24:31,219 --> 00:24:33,380
that we terminate
your treatment.
536
00:24:34,379 --> 00:24:36,100
And then I think...
537
00:24:36,140 --> 00:24:39,940
we should give it
a substantial period of time...
538
00:24:39,980 --> 00:24:42,300
and then if we both feel
the same way...
539
00:24:42,339 --> 00:24:45,420
I think we can begin
to see each other again...
540
00:24:45,460 --> 00:24:46,940
socially.
541
00:24:48,939 --> 00:24:52,460
It was, to Epstein's thinking,
a match made in heaven.
542
00:24:52,499 --> 00:24:55,900
Here, at last, was a woman
who understood him.
543
00:24:55,939 --> 00:24:59,899
You know all my secrets,
every nuance of my psychic life.
544
00:24:59,939 --> 00:25:02,860
There isn't a feeling or desire
that I haven't admitted to you.
545
00:25:02,899 --> 00:25:05,220
Now it's your turn
to explore me.
546
00:25:05,259 --> 00:25:07,699
But all my perversions,
you accept them.
547
00:25:07,739 --> 00:25:10,579
My need to be tied up,
to watch you with other women...
548
00:25:10,619 --> 00:25:13,020
to feel your spike heels
in my mouth.
549
00:25:13,059 --> 00:25:15,180
No one can say
that I didn't know...
550
00:25:15,220 --> 00:25:17,140
what I was
letting myself in for.
551
00:25:19,340 --> 00:25:21,859
The first 2 years were amazing.
552
00:25:21,900 --> 00:25:24,299
They moved into a large
Westend Avenue apartment.
553
00:25:24,339 --> 00:25:26,420
He wrote. She saw patients.
554
00:25:26,460 --> 00:25:29,740
But her clearest insights
were into his work.
555
00:25:29,780 --> 00:25:31,299
What one comes away with...
556
00:25:31,339 --> 00:25:34,020
is your total isolation,
your fear of people...
557
00:25:34,059 --> 00:25:36,060
your panic over closeness...
558
00:25:36,139 --> 00:25:38,899
and that's why your real life
is so chaotic...
559
00:25:38,940 --> 00:25:42,340
and your writing is so much
more controlled and stable.
560
00:25:42,380 --> 00:25:43,939
You're unable to--
561
00:25:43,980 --> 00:25:45,900
Yes, it all went quite well...
562
00:25:45,940 --> 00:25:48,459
until Helen became pregnant
and gave birth.
563
00:25:48,499 --> 00:25:49,979
From that moment on...
564
00:25:50,060 --> 00:25:52,820
as if she had experienced
a divine revelation...
565
00:25:52,859 --> 00:25:56,179
she suddenly became what
Epstein referred to angrily...
566
00:25:56,220 --> 00:25:58,339
as "Jewish with a vengeance."
567
00:25:58,380 --> 00:26:02,940
I rue the day I listened to you
and didn't have him circumcised.
568
00:26:02,979 --> 00:26:04,420
What are you, nuts?
569
00:26:04,460 --> 00:26:06,019
We can still do it.
570
00:26:06,060 --> 00:26:07,699
No. He's too old.
571
00:26:07,740 --> 00:26:09,339
What is wrong with you?
572
00:26:09,380 --> 00:26:11,259
Now he's too old.
573
00:26:11,340 --> 00:26:13,220
You're like
a born-again Christian...
574
00:26:13,260 --> 00:26:14,580
except you're a Jew.
575
00:26:14,620 --> 00:26:17,379
I see my father's face
in Hillel.
576
00:26:17,419 --> 00:26:18,980
Hilliard.
577
00:26:19,020 --> 00:26:20,699
His name is Hilliard.
578
00:26:20,740 --> 00:26:22,339
We didn't name him Hillel.
579
00:26:22,379 --> 00:26:24,379
We didn't name him
after some rabbi.
580
00:26:24,419 --> 00:26:25,619
It's Hilliard Epstein.
581
00:26:25,659 --> 00:26:27,460
No, I'm sick
of your smug cynicism.
582
00:26:27,500 --> 00:26:29,059
There's value in tradition.
583
00:26:29,099 --> 00:26:30,699
I never thought
it would mean anything...
584
00:26:30,739 --> 00:26:32,659
but now that I'm a mother,
it does.
585
00:26:32,700 --> 00:26:36,339
I see not only meaning
in Judaism, but true beauty.
586
00:26:36,380 --> 00:26:38,020
Helen, you're a scientist.
587
00:26:38,060 --> 00:26:39,779
Einstein was a scientist...
588
00:26:39,820 --> 00:26:42,300
and a he was a Jew,
and he was religious.
589
00:26:42,340 --> 00:26:46,339
Helen had taken on
the obligation of daily prayers.
590
00:26:46,379 --> 00:26:47,620
Jews, of course...
591
00:26:47,660 --> 00:26:50,020
fearing a wrathful
and vengeful God...
592
00:26:50,059 --> 00:26:52,539
give praise and thanks
for everything.
593
00:27:08,739 --> 00:27:09,539
...blow job.
594
00:27:10,700 --> 00:27:13,580
Then one day,
the inevitable happened.
595
00:27:13,619 --> 00:27:15,500
A patient of Helen's,
an Israeli...
596
00:27:15,539 --> 00:27:17,700
who had come to her
in a depressed state...
597
00:27:17,739 --> 00:27:19,780
over his wife having left him...
598
00:27:19,819 --> 00:27:21,899
captured Helen's heart.
599
00:27:21,940 --> 00:27:23,939
I think we should
terminate your treatment...
600
00:27:23,980 --> 00:27:27,339
and give it a substantial
period of time...
601
00:27:27,379 --> 00:27:29,060
and then if we both
still feel the same way...
602
00:27:29,100 --> 00:27:32,739
then I think we could start
to see each other socially.
603
00:27:40,099 --> 00:27:41,300
Richard.
604
00:27:41,339 --> 00:27:42,900
...lost in thought.
605
00:27:42,940 --> 00:27:45,899
I was thinking about a book
I wrote.
606
00:27:45,940 --> 00:27:48,099
-I'm a mess.
-What's the matter?
607
00:27:48,140 --> 00:27:49,979
I'm on my way to the doctor's.
608
00:27:50,019 --> 00:27:51,899
I'm having severe pains
in my chest.
609
00:27:51,939 --> 00:27:53,539
That's nothing.
610
00:27:53,579 --> 00:27:56,940
That's indigestion, gallbladder,
ulcer, or acid reflux.
611
00:27:56,979 --> 00:27:58,180
I've got a family history.
612
00:27:58,219 --> 00:27:59,380
My father
died of a heart attack...
613
00:27:59,420 --> 00:28:01,340
my mother dropped dead
of a massive coronary...
614
00:28:01,420 --> 00:28:04,659
and both my brothers were dead
before 50 from heart failure.
615
00:28:05,619 --> 00:28:07,500
I don't know
why you're wasting time.
616
00:28:07,539 --> 00:28:08,939
You should get an ambulance.
617
00:28:08,980 --> 00:28:11,620
-Are you busy?
-I was gonna see my editor.
618
00:28:11,659 --> 00:28:13,780
I hate going
for these tests alone.
619
00:28:13,820 --> 00:28:17,299
My mother died
giving birth to me...
620
00:28:17,340 --> 00:28:19,700
for which my father
never forgave me.
621
00:28:19,739 --> 00:28:23,540
Funny. I wish before he died
I had forgiven him.
622
00:28:23,579 --> 00:28:27,179
We're morbid, 'cause you think
you're dying, but you're not.
623
00:28:27,220 --> 00:28:29,540
Today, they got lasers,
all kinds of things.
624
00:28:29,580 --> 00:28:31,579
You and science, right?
625
00:28:31,659 --> 00:28:33,579
There's nothing wrong
with science.
626
00:28:33,619 --> 00:28:35,580
Between air conditioning
and the pope...
627
00:28:35,659 --> 00:28:37,059
I'll take air conditioning.
628
00:28:37,100 --> 00:28:38,780
I'm scared. Really scared.
629
00:28:38,819 --> 00:28:41,579
Can we change the subject?
630
00:28:41,620 --> 00:28:43,059
I have writer's block.
631
00:28:44,500 --> 00:28:46,099
For the first time in my life...
632
00:28:46,140 --> 00:28:48,380
I can't come up
with a meaningful idea...
633
00:28:48,419 --> 00:28:49,700
something that holds
my interest.
634
00:28:49,740 --> 00:28:52,500
Since Fay left you,
you've been having trouble.
635
00:28:52,539 --> 00:28:54,820
I'm seeing Fay later.
I'm having a drink with Fay.
636
00:28:54,859 --> 00:28:56,180
That's very good.
637
00:28:56,219 --> 00:28:58,059
She's good for you.
638
00:28:58,100 --> 00:28:59,779
She's a lot better...
639
00:28:59,819 --> 00:29:02,699
than a lot of those
other crazies that you--
640
00:29:02,740 --> 00:29:04,260
Ow. My God, my arm.
641
00:29:04,300 --> 00:29:06,659
I'm telling you, it's nothing.
642
00:29:08,100 --> 00:29:10,099
I'm not scared.
643
00:29:10,140 --> 00:29:12,740
You're in great shape.
644
00:29:12,780 --> 00:29:15,299
You have a little bursitis
in your arm, but...
645
00:29:15,339 --> 00:29:16,580
Oh, that's fantastic.
646
00:29:16,620 --> 00:29:18,500
What do I always say?
647
00:29:18,540 --> 00:29:20,139
The most beautiful words
in the English language...
648
00:29:20,180 --> 00:29:22,620
are not "I love you,
but "it's benign."
649
00:29:22,660 --> 00:29:25,500
We could do more tests,
but I don't think so.
650
00:29:25,540 --> 00:29:27,899
-This is fantastic.
-Your heart's in great shape.
651
00:29:27,939 --> 00:29:29,220
While I'm here...
652
00:29:29,260 --> 00:29:31,659
I hurt my back a few weeks ago,
opening a subzero refrigerator.
653
00:29:31,700 --> 00:29:32,780
Let me schedule you.
654
00:29:32,820 --> 00:29:34,899
Let me buy you a cup of coffee.
655
00:29:34,939 --> 00:29:36,019
I don't have time.
656
00:29:36,060 --> 00:29:37,539
What are you doing tomorrow?
657
00:29:37,580 --> 00:29:39,220
I'm busy. Why?
658
00:29:39,260 --> 00:29:42,059
I'm going to my old university.
They're honoring me.
659
00:29:42,100 --> 00:29:44,060
I'm looking for company
to come with me.
660
00:29:44,099 --> 00:29:48,740
I don't think I can get out
of this thing, but that's great.
661
00:29:48,779 --> 00:29:50,500
Congratulations.
662
00:30:06,820 --> 00:30:08,419
So you look great.
663
00:30:08,460 --> 00:30:10,859
Thank you.
You look a little tired.
664
00:30:10,900 --> 00:30:14,380
'Cause I'm struggling
with this book.
665
00:30:14,419 --> 00:30:17,339
Naturally,
I spent the advance already.
666
00:30:17,380 --> 00:30:20,019
I'm having a tough time.
667
00:30:20,059 --> 00:30:23,179
The reason that I wanted
to have this drink was--
668
00:30:23,219 --> 00:30:27,299
Can I get a red wine,
exact same thing that she has?
669
00:30:27,339 --> 00:30:29,740
I wanted to be the first
to tell you...
670
00:30:29,779 --> 00:30:31,419
that I'm getting married.
671
00:30:31,459 --> 00:30:33,260
Oh, don't say that.
672
00:30:33,300 --> 00:30:35,939
-Why?
-What do you mean, why?
673
00:30:35,979 --> 00:30:38,620
Because I love you.
674
00:30:38,660 --> 00:30:41,299
How can you get married?
675
00:30:41,339 --> 00:30:42,580
Who? is it Larry?
676
00:30:42,620 --> 00:30:43,619
Yes, it's Larry.
677
00:30:43,659 --> 00:30:46,700
I knew that.
I don't fucking believe this.
678
00:30:46,740 --> 00:30:49,340
This guy's allegedly
a friend of mine.
679
00:30:50,460 --> 00:30:51,540
He's the devil.
680
00:30:51,579 --> 00:30:52,979
I should never
have introduced you.
681
00:30:53,020 --> 00:30:55,419
When Larry's around,
I smell burning sulfur.
682
00:30:56,620 --> 00:30:59,579
Can we have your blessing?
Can I have it?
683
00:31:00,580 --> 00:31:02,060
You don't have my blessing.
684
00:31:02,100 --> 00:31:04,020
I don't want you to get married.
685
00:31:04,059 --> 00:31:05,859
I don't want you to.
686
00:31:06,220 --> 00:31:07,180
I should go.
687
00:31:07,219 --> 00:31:08,499
I was your pupil.
688
00:31:08,540 --> 00:31:11,260
It was Henry Higgins
and Eliza Doolittle.
689
00:31:11,300 --> 00:31:13,620
That's what it was,
and that's what you loved.
690
00:31:13,659 --> 00:31:16,699
But it didn't work that way.
What do you want me to say?
691
00:31:16,740 --> 00:31:18,540
Why did you
fall in love with me?
692
00:31:18,580 --> 00:31:23,180
You gave me those lectures
on love in the Western world.
693
00:31:23,220 --> 00:31:26,340
I didn't think I could.
I thought I was too damaged.
694
00:31:26,380 --> 00:31:28,379
But it's not...
695
00:31:28,420 --> 00:31:29,699
I woke up one morning...
696
00:31:29,739 --> 00:31:32,059
and I looked at you
over breakfast...
697
00:31:32,100 --> 00:31:36,660
and I thought to myself,
"God, this is what they mean.
698
00:31:36,699 --> 00:31:38,820
"This is what
they're talking about."
699
00:31:38,860 --> 00:31:40,620
Those warnings about how
I wasn't supposed...
700
00:31:40,660 --> 00:31:42,219
to fall in love with you.
701
00:31:42,260 --> 00:31:44,099
But then I fell in love
with you.
702
00:31:44,139 --> 00:31:46,260
...another jerk fan.
703
00:31:46,299 --> 00:31:49,380
That I would fuck you
and move on to the next fan.
704
00:31:49,420 --> 00:31:51,300
But it didn't happen that way.
705
00:31:51,340 --> 00:31:55,340
You were a fan and a follower...
706
00:31:55,379 --> 00:31:59,180
and then a pupil,
and then you were a roommate.
707
00:31:59,219 --> 00:32:01,539
And before I knew it...
708
00:32:01,579 --> 00:32:04,660
you were the one who had control
of the channel changer.
709
00:32:10,380 --> 00:32:12,020
I loved you.
710
00:32:12,060 --> 00:32:14,019
I was in awe of you.
711
00:32:14,059 --> 00:32:17,500
But I wasn't in love with you.
712
00:32:17,540 --> 00:32:19,340
...to my old university.
713
00:32:19,379 --> 00:32:21,699
They're honoring me,
if you can believe that.
714
00:32:21,739 --> 00:32:23,939
Give me a chance
to talk you out of it.
715
00:32:23,980 --> 00:32:25,539
Spend one day with me.
716
00:32:25,579 --> 00:32:27,899
I'm getting married tomorrow.
717
00:32:27,940 --> 00:32:30,219
Tomorrow you're getting married?
718
00:32:30,260 --> 00:32:31,619
The day I'm honored--
719
00:32:31,660 --> 00:32:33,180
I can't fucking believe this.
720
00:32:33,259 --> 00:32:34,499
You're getting married tomorrow?
721
00:32:34,540 --> 00:32:37,300
Yes. It's been planned
for months.
722
00:32:37,339 --> 00:32:38,660
Don't do it!
723
00:32:44,619 --> 00:32:47,099
While Goldberg was asleep
one night...
724
00:32:47,140 --> 00:32:49,259
the devil
entered his apartment...
725
00:32:49,299 --> 00:32:51,219
and abducted
his beautiful blond love...
726
00:32:51,260 --> 00:32:53,139
and carried her off to hell.
727
00:32:53,180 --> 00:32:54,980
The following morning...
728
00:32:55,019 --> 00:32:58,260
Goldberg noticed the odd smell
of burning sulfur.
729
00:33:04,020 --> 00:33:05,739
Harry Block?
730
00:33:05,780 --> 00:33:06,979
You're Cookie?
731
00:33:07,020 --> 00:33:08,379
Cookie Williams.
732
00:33:08,420 --> 00:33:10,099
You wanted me here at 10:00?
733
00:33:10,180 --> 00:33:11,300
Yeah. Jesus.
734
00:33:16,900 --> 00:33:18,779
Shall we get to it?
735
00:33:19,660 --> 00:33:21,860
You don't want to talk
a little first?
736
00:33:21,899 --> 00:33:23,780
Talk? Why?
737
00:33:24,419 --> 00:33:27,380
Really? Most guys don't like
to just jump right into bed...
738
00:33:27,419 --> 00:33:28,659
without a little talking.
739
00:33:28,700 --> 00:33:30,340
They think
it's too businesslike.
740
00:33:30,340 --> 00:33:31,539
Oh, not me.
741
00:33:31,580 --> 00:33:32,899
...tie me up.
742
00:33:32,940 --> 00:33:34,220
Whatever you want.
743
00:33:34,259 --> 00:33:36,299
Let's get the monetary part
out of the way.
744
00:33:36,339 --> 00:33:37,459
Then we can relax.
745
00:33:37,500 --> 00:33:38,700
Absolutely. You get 200?
746
00:33:38,740 --> 00:33:40,100
That's right.
747
00:33:40,139 --> 00:33:42,219
You want me to tie you up?
748
00:33:42,259 --> 00:33:46,219
Tie me up, hit me a little bit,
and give me a blow job.
749
00:33:46,260 --> 00:33:48,300
A blow job, then hit you.
750
00:33:48,340 --> 00:33:52,219
No. Hit me, then the blow job.
I want to get the order right.
751
00:33:52,259 --> 00:33:53,420
Otherwise, it's no fun.
752
00:33:53,459 --> 00:33:55,620
Tie me up, hit me, blow job.
753
00:33:55,659 --> 00:33:57,579
What do you want me
to tie you with?
754
00:33:57,619 --> 00:34:00,820
Well, truth is, I thought
you were gonna wear stockings.
755
00:34:00,859 --> 00:34:02,980
Cookie,
you're a definite artist.
756
00:34:03,020 --> 00:34:05,379
They should put your lips
in the Smithsonian.
757
00:34:05,419 --> 00:34:07,140
It took you a long time.
758
00:34:07,179 --> 00:34:08,859
I didn't think you'd make it.
759
00:34:08,900 --> 00:34:11,620
I was having a problem focusing.
760
00:34:11,620 --> 00:34:13,460
Finally,
I got the right fantasy.
761
00:34:13,499 --> 00:34:16,860
I thought of a woman
I saw on Sixth Avenue today...
762
00:34:16,899 --> 00:34:19,460
and I coupled her
with Svetlana Stalin.
763
00:34:19,500 --> 00:34:21,299
It's the daughter
of the dictator.
764
00:34:21,339 --> 00:34:22,620
It worked for me.
765
00:34:22,659 --> 00:34:24,059
What do you take medicine for?
766
00:34:25,139 --> 00:34:26,860
Me? Depression.
767
00:34:26,900 --> 00:34:28,859
What are you depressed about?
768
00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:30,740
Depressed.
Don't you ever get depressed?
769
00:34:30,779 --> 00:34:33,659
Doesn't your work
ever get you down?
770
00:34:33,700 --> 00:34:35,739
It's OK. Beats the hell
out of waitressing.
771
00:34:36,419 --> 00:34:40,939
Every hooker I ever speak to
tells me it beats waitressing.
772
00:34:40,980 --> 00:34:43,780
Waitressing's got to be
the worst job in the world.
773
00:34:43,819 --> 00:34:44,980
It's unbelievable.
774
00:34:45,019 --> 00:34:47,259
What are you sad about?
775
00:34:47,300 --> 00:34:50,259
I'm spiritually bankrupt.
I'm empty.
776
00:34:50,300 --> 00:34:51,700
What do you mean?
777
00:34:51,739 --> 00:34:53,220
I'm frightened.
778
00:34:53,259 --> 00:34:56,179
I got no soul.
You know what I mean?
779
00:34:56,220 --> 00:34:57,539
Let me put it this way.
780
00:34:57,580 --> 00:34:58,659
When I was younger...
781
00:34:58,700 --> 00:35:00,900
it was less scary
waiting for Lefty...
782
00:35:00,900 --> 00:35:02,499
than it is waiting for Godot.
783
00:35:03,019 --> 00:35:04,419
Aw, you lost me.
784
00:35:05,660 --> 00:35:08,180
You know that the universe
is coming apart?
785
00:35:08,219 --> 00:35:11,099
You know what a black hole is?
786
00:35:11,139 --> 00:35:13,019
Yeah.
That's how I make my living.
787
00:35:13,380 --> 00:35:15,300
You know, I gotta tell you,
Cookie....
788
00:35:15,300 --> 00:35:17,299
a great writer
named Sophocles...
789
00:35:17,340 --> 00:35:20,340
said that it was probably
best not to be born at all.
790
00:35:20,380 --> 00:35:22,140
Honey,
it's a little too late for that.
791
00:35:22,980 --> 00:35:24,460
I fought it.
792
00:35:24,500 --> 00:35:26,820
I didn't want out.
They had to come and get me.
793
00:35:28,060 --> 00:35:29,660
You want another blow job?
794
00:35:30,780 --> 00:35:31,979
How come?
795
00:35:32,020 --> 00:35:33,820
It's on the house.
No charge.
796
00:35:33,859 --> 00:35:36,580
'Cause them pills you taking
sure ain't working.
797
00:35:37,220 --> 00:35:39,460
I'm just in a peculiar mood
tonight...
798
00:35:39,499 --> 00:35:42,379
'cause I had
some bad news today.
799
00:35:42,420 --> 00:35:45,019
Let me ask you a question.
What are you doing tomorrow?
800
00:35:45,779 --> 00:35:46,779
Hustlin'.
801
00:35:48,180 --> 00:35:49,499
Why don't you come with me?
802
00:35:49,539 --> 00:35:50,739
Where?
803
00:35:50,779 --> 00:35:54,100
I'm going up to my old school
'cause they're gonna honor me.
804
00:35:54,140 --> 00:35:55,900
I got nobody to share it with.
805
00:35:56,219 --> 00:35:58,419
I'm serious. Come with me.
806
00:35:58,459 --> 00:36:00,739
I'll give you 500 bucks
for the day.
807
00:36:00,779 --> 00:36:02,979
Sleep here tonight,
come up with me tomorrow.
808
00:36:02,979 --> 00:36:04,540
How come you got all this money?
809
00:36:04,619 --> 00:36:06,580
I always keep
hooker money around...
810
00:36:06,620 --> 00:36:08,660
'cause I once paid
by check years ago...
811
00:36:08,699 --> 00:36:10,140
and the IRS killed me.
812
00:36:22,139 --> 00:36:26,340
Fay, when you get this message,
if it's not too late...
813
00:36:26,379 --> 00:36:28,780
I don't want you
to get married...
814
00:36:28,820 --> 00:36:33,019
because I love you,
and I want to marry you.
815
00:36:33,060 --> 00:36:34,180
You...
816
00:36:34,860 --> 00:36:38,459
I was looking at my last book...
817
00:36:38,499 --> 00:36:40,379
the part where we met...
818
00:36:40,419 --> 00:36:44,420
and I tried to exaggerate it
to make it funny...
819
00:36:44,460 --> 00:36:47,379
but it was actually
very romantic.
820
00:36:49,739 --> 00:36:51,140
She can't hear.
821
00:36:51,180 --> 00:36:53,060
I'm in town to see Les Mis.
822
00:36:53,100 --> 00:36:54,340
I have a free hour.
823
00:36:54,379 --> 00:36:57,019
I don't know if I can.
824
00:36:57,060 --> 00:36:58,939
I got our usual place
at the Wyndham.
825
00:36:58,980 --> 00:37:00,579
It's been almost two weeks.
826
00:37:00,579 --> 00:37:03,419
We'll have to make it fast.
827
00:37:03,459 --> 00:37:05,420
I can't make it believable
for so long.
828
00:37:10,019 --> 00:37:11,539
You'll be back in an hour.
829
00:37:11,580 --> 00:37:14,579
I have to be done
by then anyway.
830
00:37:17,419 --> 00:37:19,140
Think I'll take a walk.
831
00:37:19,140 --> 00:37:20,739
Now?
832
00:37:20,780 --> 00:37:25,060
'Cause I thought
that I would just...
833
00:37:25,099 --> 00:37:27,900
just to get some fresh air.
834
00:37:57,940 --> 00:37:59,419
Excuse me.
835
00:37:59,460 --> 00:38:01,420
Are you Harry Block?
836
00:38:03,300 --> 00:38:05,820
Your writing has been
so meaningful to me.
837
00:38:05,859 --> 00:38:07,700
Thank you very much.
838
00:38:07,740 --> 00:38:09,660
Can't believe
I'm in the elevator with you.
839
00:38:09,699 --> 00:38:11,739
It's no big deal.
840
00:38:11,779 --> 00:38:13,580
Are you staying here?
841
00:38:13,620 --> 00:38:16,340
I'm meeting someone.
842
00:38:24,460 --> 00:38:26,819
Oh, my God.
843
00:38:26,859 --> 00:38:28,540
What is this?
844
00:38:28,580 --> 00:38:30,699
It's stuck again.
845
00:38:30,740 --> 00:38:32,540
If this was one of my stories...
846
00:38:32,579 --> 00:38:34,939
this elevator would get
stuck between floors...
847
00:38:34,980 --> 00:38:38,020
and the two of us would start
a major affair and fall in love.
848
00:38:48,619 --> 00:38:51,499
Promise me
you won't fall in love with me.
849
00:38:52,940 --> 00:38:55,379
Definitely not.
Not a good idea.
850
00:38:55,420 --> 00:38:56,619
Why?
851
00:38:56,660 --> 00:39:01,139
Because I'm too screwed up.
852
00:39:01,180 --> 00:39:05,379
I have too many quirks.
853
00:39:08,099 --> 00:39:09,980
I have trouble being faithful.
854
00:39:10,019 --> 00:39:13,820
I have too many phobias
and craziness.
855
00:39:13,899 --> 00:39:17,059
But I fell in love with you
before I met you...
856
00:39:17,100 --> 00:39:19,140
when I read you.
857
00:39:19,180 --> 00:39:21,220
But you fell in love
with my work.
858
00:39:21,260 --> 00:39:23,140
That's a different thing.
859
00:39:24,019 --> 00:39:27,899
I love your work,
your imagination.
860
00:39:27,940 --> 00:39:31,620
But this is not a book.
861
00:39:31,620 --> 00:39:33,219
You know what I mean?
862
00:39:33,219 --> 00:39:36,539
We're not characters
in a fictional thing.
863
00:39:37,859 --> 00:39:39,460
So don't fall in love.
864
00:39:39,500 --> 00:39:40,739
Kiss me.
865
00:39:40,779 --> 00:39:43,899
Promise you won't
fall in love with me.
866
00:39:43,939 --> 00:39:45,060
I promise.
867
00:40:05,420 --> 00:40:06,939
The subway took forever.
I'm sorry.
868
00:40:06,979 --> 00:40:09,819
You said you weren't coming.
869
00:40:09,859 --> 00:40:11,339
We said 10:00.
870
00:40:11,379 --> 00:40:13,259
I'm sure that's what we said.
871
00:40:13,299 --> 00:40:15,739
I called you last night.
872
00:40:15,780 --> 00:40:16,979
When did you call me?
873
00:40:17,020 --> 00:40:18,860
I called you at 9:30 last night.
874
00:40:18,899 --> 00:40:20,979
You were writing--
875
00:40:21,020 --> 00:40:22,380
We spoke on the phone?
876
00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:24,139
Of course.
877
00:40:24,180 --> 00:40:26,059
My mind has been playing tricks.
878
00:40:26,100 --> 00:40:27,780
This is Cookie.
This is Richard.
879
00:40:27,819 --> 00:40:29,140
How are you?
880
00:40:29,179 --> 00:40:30,979
What's so special
about this honor?
881
00:40:30,979 --> 00:40:33,900
The man is being honored
by the school that expelled him.
882
00:40:33,940 --> 00:40:36,380
If only Hilly could see me--
he'd be so proud.
883
00:40:36,420 --> 00:40:38,020
I know, and it's sad...
884
00:40:38,020 --> 00:40:39,459
but short of kidnapping,
he ain't coming.
885
00:40:44,139 --> 00:40:46,660
-This is ridiculous.
-Don't worry.
886
00:40:46,700 --> 00:40:48,499
You're going to get in trouble.
887
00:40:48,539 --> 00:40:49,980
Come on, boys.
888
00:40:51,939 --> 00:40:53,579
Dad? What is it?
889
00:40:53,619 --> 00:40:55,659
We're not going to school today.
890
00:40:55,700 --> 00:40:57,579
What are you doing? Stop it!
891
00:40:57,620 --> 00:40:58,780
It's an emergency.
892
00:40:58,819 --> 00:41:00,619
What are you doing? Come on.
893
00:41:00,660 --> 00:41:02,779
You! Stop it!
894
00:41:02,819 --> 00:41:04,220
You can't do this!
895
00:41:04,260 --> 00:41:05,659
Get out of the car!
896
00:41:08,019 --> 00:41:09,379
Somebody stop this man!
897
00:41:09,420 --> 00:41:10,579
He's a deviant!
898
00:41:10,619 --> 00:41:13,980
Somebody stop him !
Somebody call the police!
899
00:41:14,019 --> 00:41:15,460
When the red, red robin...
900
00:41:15,500 --> 00:41:17,380
comes bob, bob, bobbin' along.
901
00:41:17,380 --> 00:41:19,340
-Go faster.
902
00:41:19,379 --> 00:41:23,259
There'll be no more sobbin'
when he starts throbbin' his...
903
00:41:23,300 --> 00:41:24,500
old sweet song.
904
00:41:24,540 --> 00:41:27,420
Wake up, wake up,
you sleepyhead.
905
00:41:27,459 --> 00:41:29,979
Get up, get up, get out of bed.
906
00:41:30,020 --> 00:41:32,579
Cheer up, cheer up,
the sun is red.
907
00:41:32,620 --> 00:41:35,220
Live, love, laugh, and be happy.
908
00:41:40,099 --> 00:41:41,300
It's fabulous here.
909
00:41:41,339 --> 00:41:42,819
It's beautiful. I love it.
910
00:41:42,859 --> 00:41:44,300
A Ferris wheel.
911
00:41:44,339 --> 00:41:45,579
Look at the swings.
912
00:41:45,619 --> 00:41:46,979
Want to go?
913
00:41:53,860 --> 00:41:55,019
Very good.
914
00:41:59,459 --> 00:42:01,099
High-five.
915
00:42:06,500 --> 00:42:08,300
I am going to smoke this joint.
Want some?
916
00:42:08,339 --> 00:42:10,579
I can't stand that stuff.
917
00:42:10,620 --> 00:42:12,660
See that place there?
918
00:42:12,700 --> 00:42:14,939
That Red Apple Rest?
919
00:42:14,980 --> 00:42:18,820
Years ago,
my then-wife Jane and I...
920
00:42:18,860 --> 00:42:21,139
were coming from Connecticut--
her sister's house--
921
00:42:21,180 --> 00:42:23,059
and we had this awful fight.
922
00:42:23,100 --> 00:42:24,259
She was having her period.
923
00:42:24,299 --> 00:42:26,380
We stopped there
to get water for her Midol.
924
00:42:26,420 --> 00:42:28,060
I don't want a child.
925
00:42:28,099 --> 00:42:30,660
Don't bring it up, especially
in front of my parents.
926
00:42:30,699 --> 00:42:32,219
I don't understand you.
927
00:42:32,260 --> 00:42:33,979
We've discussed it.
928
00:42:34,019 --> 00:42:36,179
-Don't I get a vote?
-You have a child.
929
00:42:36,219 --> 00:42:37,660
Who I never get to see.
930
00:42:37,699 --> 00:42:38,900
That's not my fault.
931
00:42:38,939 --> 00:42:40,459
I like being a father.
932
00:42:40,500 --> 00:42:42,219
I chose a different life
than Lucy.
933
00:42:42,259 --> 00:42:43,459
You knew that.
934
00:42:43,459 --> 00:42:44,699
You're dedicated to work.
935
00:42:44,740 --> 00:42:46,140
That means we can't
have children.
936
00:42:46,180 --> 00:42:48,100
Since when are you a family man?
937
00:42:48,100 --> 00:42:50,980
Don't think I don't see you
staring at Lucy.
938
00:42:51,019 --> 00:42:52,259
What?
939
00:42:52,259 --> 00:42:53,660
Don't play ignorant.
940
00:42:53,700 --> 00:42:55,539
You watch her walk, sit.
941
00:42:55,580 --> 00:42:58,500
You can't keep your eyes
off her toes.
942
00:42:58,539 --> 00:42:59,860
Are you nuts?
943
00:42:59,899 --> 00:43:01,220
What are you suggesting?
944
00:43:01,260 --> 00:43:02,939
I wouldn't put it past you...
945
00:43:02,979 --> 00:43:05,380
if you weren't dying
to have a thing with her.
946
00:43:05,419 --> 00:43:08,100
She's a neurotic,
suburban hausfrau.
947
00:43:08,139 --> 00:43:10,619
I have no interest in her.
948
00:43:10,659 --> 00:43:13,580
Your level of denial is intense.
949
00:43:13,619 --> 00:43:16,659
You're suffering from
a premenstrual nuclear meltdown.
950
00:43:17,540 --> 00:43:18,979
You want a hit?
951
00:43:21,299 --> 00:43:23,020
That smoke is killing me.
952
00:43:24,179 --> 00:43:25,940
I'm going to the bathroom.
953
00:43:25,979 --> 00:43:27,420
I'll catch you later.
954
00:43:40,740 --> 00:43:42,979
Cold fish, your third ex-wife.
955
00:43:43,019 --> 00:43:45,339
She never would have made
a good mother.
956
00:43:45,380 --> 00:43:47,219
Who are you?
957
00:43:47,259 --> 00:43:48,700
It's me--Ken.
958
00:43:51,779 --> 00:43:52,899
Look at this guy.
959
00:43:52,899 --> 00:43:55,779
You created me.
Now you don't recognize me?
960
00:43:55,820 --> 00:43:58,300
I'm a little high
because of her smoke.
961
00:43:58,339 --> 00:44:00,380
How'd you hook up with Jane?
962
00:44:00,419 --> 00:44:01,580
Jane was fine.
963
00:44:01,620 --> 00:44:04,379
Jane was having her period,
so she was irritable.
964
00:44:04,419 --> 00:44:06,179
It wasn't just her period.
965
00:44:06,220 --> 00:44:08,899
She was a cold, selfish woman.
966
00:44:08,899 --> 00:44:10,100
She's so self-involved...
967
00:44:10,139 --> 00:44:13,140
she doesn't realize
her sister hates her.
968
00:44:13,179 --> 00:44:15,779
How do you know so much?
969
00:44:15,779 --> 00:44:18,180
I'm just you, thinly disguised.
970
00:44:18,219 --> 00:44:21,379
You gave me more maturity
and a different name.
971
00:44:22,259 --> 00:44:24,380
What are you saying?
That I know this?
972
00:44:24,419 --> 00:44:26,380
Of course you do.
That's why you picked her...
973
00:44:26,420 --> 00:44:27,900
so it wouldn't work--
974
00:44:27,940 --> 00:44:29,980
so you'd never have
to give up sport-fucking...
975
00:44:30,019 --> 00:44:32,499
and chronic dissatisfaction
and grow up.
976
00:44:32,539 --> 00:44:36,260
I'm not going to get lectured
by my own creation.
977
00:44:36,260 --> 00:44:38,220
You can't fool me.
978
00:44:38,259 --> 00:44:39,939
I'm not like your shrink.
979
00:44:39,939 --> 00:44:42,460
He only knows what you tell him.
I know the truth.
980
00:44:42,499 --> 00:44:45,539
Her sister Lucy--
another head case.
981
00:44:46,980 --> 00:44:48,699
You sure can pick 'em.
982
00:44:48,740 --> 00:44:50,739
Even she was better than Jane...
983
00:44:50,779 --> 00:44:52,379
more maternal,
and she loved you.
984
00:44:53,580 --> 00:44:55,299
You weren't there
the day your bomb dropped...
985
00:44:55,340 --> 00:44:57,700
but take a look.
986
00:45:00,020 --> 00:45:01,420
He left me.
987
00:45:01,459 --> 00:45:03,899
Our marriage is finished.
988
00:45:03,939 --> 00:45:06,499
I'm so sorry.
989
00:45:06,499 --> 00:45:07,739
Are you shocked?
990
00:45:07,779 --> 00:45:09,900
Yes and no.
991
00:45:09,939 --> 00:45:12,859
Things have not been good
for some time.
992
00:45:12,900 --> 00:45:14,339
I knew he played around.
993
00:45:15,500 --> 00:45:17,899
You never mentioned that.
994
00:45:17,939 --> 00:45:20,860
I don't like to discuss
my private life.
995
00:45:20,900 --> 00:45:22,859
I suspected Lynn, his editor.
996
00:45:22,900 --> 00:45:28,020
Then I thought it might be
Allison Davis, our friend.
997
00:45:28,059 --> 00:45:29,940
I even thought he might
have a crush on you.
998
00:45:31,180 --> 00:45:32,500
Me?
999
00:45:32,540 --> 00:45:33,819
You're very beautiful.
1000
00:45:33,860 --> 00:45:35,899
We've spent
a lot of time together.
1001
00:45:35,940 --> 00:45:38,700
You two get along well.
1002
00:45:38,739 --> 00:45:41,860
Obviously, I knew you never
would in a million years...
1003
00:45:41,860 --> 00:45:45,459
but I imagined
he longed for you.
1004
00:45:46,500 --> 00:45:49,540
I think I even heard him
mention your name in his sleep.
1005
00:45:51,020 --> 00:45:52,300
My goodness.
1006
00:45:56,459 --> 00:45:58,020
That's absurd.
1007
00:45:59,619 --> 00:46:00,739
Really.
1008
00:46:02,140 --> 00:46:03,820
You're all red.
1009
00:46:06,980 --> 00:46:08,900
Are you OK?
1010
00:46:11,620 --> 00:46:13,619
Since we're talking openly...
1011
00:46:15,099 --> 00:46:16,739
I have a confession.
1012
00:46:22,420 --> 00:46:26,059
Life takes strange twists
and turns.
1013
00:46:26,099 --> 00:46:27,299
It overwhelms us.
1014
00:46:27,339 --> 00:46:29,340
We're not responsible
for our feelings.
1015
00:46:29,379 --> 00:46:31,179
Everybody's feelings
are irrational.
1016
00:46:31,220 --> 00:46:34,699
But to hear from your husband
that he found another woman...
1017
00:46:34,739 --> 00:46:37,059
He said that?
1018
00:46:37,100 --> 00:46:39,980
He said his future
is all mapped out.
1019
00:46:44,780 --> 00:46:49,099
I'm going to be frank with you.
Just try and hang on--
1020
00:46:49,139 --> 00:46:50,860
I'm being replaced.
1021
00:46:50,899 --> 00:46:53,060
But it doesn't have to be
a nightmare...
1022
00:46:53,060 --> 00:46:54,540
if we're all
just mature about it.
1023
00:46:54,580 --> 00:46:56,819
Replaced by a 25-year-old.
1024
00:46:58,019 --> 00:46:59,859
Excuse me?
1025
00:46:59,900 --> 00:47:01,859
A 25-year-old--
a wannabe writer.
1026
00:47:01,899 --> 00:47:04,619
Fay Sexton is her sexy name.
1027
00:47:06,699 --> 00:47:09,100
What's the matter?
Now you're white.
1028
00:47:12,260 --> 00:47:14,020
Have you eaten anything today?
1029
00:47:17,779 --> 00:47:18,860
Have a drink.
1030
00:47:18,899 --> 00:47:20,659
Finish that.
1031
00:47:20,699 --> 00:47:22,899
Hard to believe him
when he's a liar.
1032
00:47:22,940 --> 00:47:24,140
I'm weak.
1033
00:47:26,579 --> 00:47:28,899
What's wrong?
1034
00:47:28,940 --> 00:47:31,180
You'd think he dumped you.
1035
00:47:31,219 --> 00:47:34,819
I know you feel bad for me,
but I can handle it.
1036
00:47:34,860 --> 00:47:37,579
-Air!
-I'm in shock today, but--
1037
00:47:37,620 --> 00:47:39,459
I want to speak to Fay.
1038
00:47:39,459 --> 00:47:42,499
It's Harry Block.
I've been trying to reach her.
1039
00:47:42,540 --> 00:47:44,419
This is an emergency.
1040
00:47:44,460 --> 00:47:46,019
I've got to talk--
1041
00:47:46,059 --> 00:47:47,979
Tell her to call me back.
1042
00:47:48,020 --> 00:47:49,339
It's the car number.
1043
00:47:49,380 --> 00:47:50,579
The car.
1044
00:47:50,620 --> 00:47:52,580
Give up.
She's in love with someone else.
1045
00:47:52,619 --> 00:47:54,419
This guy is too old for her.
1046
00:47:54,460 --> 00:47:55,700
He's younger than you.
1047
00:47:55,740 --> 00:47:58,139
I'm much too old for her.
It's ridiculous.
1048
00:47:58,180 --> 00:48:00,780
Because of my immaturity, I have
a boyish quality that works.
1049
00:48:00,820 --> 00:48:02,499
Is it much longer?
1050
00:48:02,539 --> 00:48:03,980
We were just at the fair.
1051
00:48:04,019 --> 00:48:05,220
You walked, ate.
1052
00:48:05,259 --> 00:48:06,660
How much longer is it?
1053
00:48:06,660 --> 00:48:08,220
It won't be long.
1054
00:48:08,259 --> 00:48:11,740
My sister lives
10 minutes from here.
1055
00:48:11,780 --> 00:48:13,540
We'll surprise her.
It'll be fun.
1056
00:48:13,540 --> 00:48:14,859
You can eat, walk around--
1057
00:48:14,900 --> 00:48:16,259
She's your half-sister.
1058
00:48:16,259 --> 00:48:18,500
But it'll still be 10 minutes...
1059
00:48:18,539 --> 00:48:21,500
not five, just because
she's a half-sister.
1060
00:48:25,659 --> 00:48:27,300
It's wonderful.
1061
00:48:27,300 --> 00:48:28,579
It is so funny.
1062
00:48:28,579 --> 00:48:31,019
-Do you think so?
-And it's sad.
1063
00:48:31,059 --> 00:48:32,419
I really loved it.
1064
00:48:32,460 --> 00:48:34,820
You're so great, so kind.
1065
00:48:34,859 --> 00:48:38,179
You have such a sweet,
kind instinct.
1066
00:48:39,139 --> 00:48:40,899
Don't do that.
1067
00:48:40,939 --> 00:48:44,940
I count on you to be critical,
to be tough.
1068
00:48:44,980 --> 00:48:46,340
You're too easy on me.
1069
00:48:46,379 --> 00:48:49,060
What was wrong with the story?
1070
00:48:49,060 --> 00:48:52,579
It had no energy.
1071
00:48:52,620 --> 00:48:53,939
I became discouraged with it.
1072
00:48:53,980 --> 00:48:56,220
It doesn't release any power.
1073
00:48:56,259 --> 00:48:57,499
It came to nothing.
1074
00:48:57,539 --> 00:48:59,780
I thought it was touching.
1075
00:48:59,780 --> 00:49:03,460
You knew when the boy grew up
he would never love.
1076
00:49:03,500 --> 00:49:04,659
It was beautiful.
1077
00:49:04,700 --> 00:49:08,339
Your problem is you love
too easily, too much.
1078
00:49:08,379 --> 00:49:12,619
I think you're beautiful
and great and too kind to me...
1079
00:49:12,660 --> 00:49:14,180
and lovely.
1080
00:49:15,140 --> 00:49:17,460
But you're not in love with me.
1081
00:49:17,500 --> 00:49:21,180
I told you not to fall in love
with me, and I meant that.
1082
00:49:21,219 --> 00:49:23,900
I still have not been able
to figure out why.
1083
00:49:24,939 --> 00:49:28,340
Because l'm the boy
in that story.
1084
00:49:28,379 --> 00:49:30,019
I can't love.
1085
00:49:30,019 --> 00:49:32,420
I don't want you
to get into anything.
1086
00:49:32,459 --> 00:49:33,859
You love Hilly.
1087
00:49:34,659 --> 00:49:35,939
What?
1088
00:49:40,459 --> 00:49:42,820
Because Hilly's my son.
1089
00:49:42,820 --> 00:49:45,819
It's easy to love a little kid.
1090
00:49:45,860 --> 00:49:47,540
You love music.
1091
00:49:48,620 --> 00:49:49,980
You love baseball.
1092
00:49:50,019 --> 00:49:51,780
Baseball's also easy,
because it has rules.
1093
00:49:51,819 --> 00:49:53,579
It has foul lines.
1094
00:49:53,619 --> 00:49:56,099
Women are complicated.
1095
00:49:58,180 --> 00:49:59,420
Happy birthday.
1096
00:49:59,460 --> 00:50:00,780
You're kidding.
1097
00:50:00,820 --> 00:50:02,180
Open it up.
1098
00:50:03,860 --> 00:50:06,499
You didn't have to get anything.
1099
00:50:06,499 --> 00:50:08,299
It's probably another sweater.
1100
00:50:10,059 --> 00:50:13,219
A baseball
signed by the 1951 Giants.
1101
00:50:13,260 --> 00:50:16,300
That's so great.
The '51 Giants were...
1102
00:50:16,340 --> 00:50:17,580
Bobby Thompson.
1103
00:50:17,619 --> 00:50:21,100
The one genuine miracle
of my lifetime.
1104
00:50:21,140 --> 00:50:22,539
When he hit that home run...
1105
00:50:22,579 --> 00:50:25,739
that was the only hint
that there may be a God.
1106
00:50:28,140 --> 00:50:30,499
What made you think of that?
1107
00:50:30,499 --> 00:50:31,459
It was easy.
1108
00:50:31,459 --> 00:50:32,979
You're the greatest.
1109
00:50:34,820 --> 00:50:38,700
It's your birthday today,
so you get any wish you want.
1110
00:50:38,739 --> 00:50:41,380
Anything at all that would
make your day special.
1111
00:50:42,739 --> 00:50:44,339
You are the greatest.
1112
00:50:44,379 --> 00:50:45,700
I don't deserve you.
1113
00:50:45,739 --> 00:50:47,740
You're too...
1114
00:50:56,380 --> 00:50:57,340
We were driving.
1115
00:50:57,379 --> 00:50:59,699
We thought we'd stop in
to see you.
1116
00:50:59,739 --> 00:51:02,179
This is Richard and Cookie.
1117
00:51:02,219 --> 00:51:04,499
I'm your Aunt Doris.
1118
00:51:04,539 --> 00:51:05,899
Remember your Uncle Burt?
1119
00:51:09,219 --> 00:51:12,420
Would you like a cookie
or something like that?
1120
00:51:12,420 --> 00:51:14,500
Come in the kitchen here.
1121
00:51:14,539 --> 00:51:17,139
I got to go to the bathroom.
Where's the john?
1122
00:51:17,180 --> 00:51:19,420
You just go right through there.
1123
00:51:19,459 --> 00:51:20,900
Over there?
1124
00:51:20,940 --> 00:51:22,739
I thought we'd drop in.
1125
00:51:25,300 --> 00:51:28,700
You're the last person
I ever expected to see.
1126
00:51:28,740 --> 00:51:30,140
Don't say that, Doris.
1127
00:51:30,179 --> 00:51:31,539
What's with Cookie?
1128
00:51:31,580 --> 00:51:32,899
Cookie's the nanny.
1129
00:51:32,939 --> 00:51:35,740
Where did you get her from,
an agency or a massage parlor?
1130
00:51:35,779 --> 00:51:38,379
She's sweet.
What are you picking on--
1131
00:51:38,419 --> 00:51:41,699
Still with the sexpots,
the tramps, the vihlde chayes.
1132
00:51:41,740 --> 00:51:43,140
She's got a Ph.D.
1133
00:51:43,140 --> 00:51:45,060
I don't know how she did
on her written...
1134
00:51:45,060 --> 00:51:47,339
but I'm sure she got an A-plus
on her oral.
1135
00:51:47,380 --> 00:51:48,740
Give me a break.
1136
00:51:48,780 --> 00:51:49,980
I'm driving upstate.
1137
00:51:50,020 --> 00:51:52,580
I take the time to say hello.
1138
00:51:52,620 --> 00:51:54,579
Can you believe
they're honoring me at Adair?
1139
00:51:54,619 --> 00:51:55,860
I can't believe it.
1140
00:51:55,900 --> 00:51:59,379
Not that I care, but it's great
for Hilly to see me.
1141
00:51:59,419 --> 00:52:02,060
The last time I saw him,
he was six years old.
1142
00:52:02,100 --> 00:52:04,619
You don't exactly contact me,
either.
1143
00:52:04,660 --> 00:52:06,980
I know what you think of me.
1144
00:52:06,980 --> 00:52:08,220
Don't start in.
1145
00:52:08,260 --> 00:52:11,059
Am I wrong?
It's all over your book--
1146
00:52:11,100 --> 00:52:13,539
"Jewish," "too Jewish,"
"professionally Jewish."
1147
00:52:13,580 --> 00:52:15,819
You attributed it all
to your ex-wife Joan...
1148
00:52:15,859 --> 00:52:17,540
but you gave her
the details of my life...
1149
00:52:17,580 --> 00:52:20,219
because you wanted to depict her
with contempt.
1150
00:52:20,259 --> 00:52:21,820
I don't know
what you're talking about.
1151
00:52:21,859 --> 00:52:23,499
You don't know?
1152
00:52:23,539 --> 00:52:25,619
You made a picture of your ex
as a horror.
1153
00:52:25,660 --> 00:52:28,260
In order to make that picture
unsympathetic--
1154
00:52:28,299 --> 00:52:29,740
you used some of her--
1155
00:52:29,780 --> 00:52:33,659
but mostly, you caricatured
my religious dedication.
1156
00:52:33,699 --> 00:52:37,020
Because it enraged you
that I returned to my roots.
1157
00:52:37,060 --> 00:52:39,900
What roots? You were
a wonderful, sweet kid.
1158
00:52:39,940 --> 00:52:42,619
You got me through my childhood.
1159
00:52:42,660 --> 00:52:45,459
Then you go away
to Fort Lauderdale...
1160
00:52:45,499 --> 00:52:48,219
and you meet this fanatic--
this zealot.
1161
00:52:48,260 --> 00:52:51,860
He fills you
full of superstition.
1162
00:52:51,899 --> 00:52:53,340
It's tradition.
1163
00:52:53,380 --> 00:52:55,339
Tradition is the illusion
of permanence.
1164
00:52:55,379 --> 00:52:56,739
You have no values.
1165
00:52:56,780 --> 00:52:58,820
Your whole life,
it's nihilism, cynicism...
1166
00:52:58,860 --> 00:53:01,259
sarcasm, and orgasm.
1167
00:53:01,300 --> 00:53:03,780
In France, I could run
on that slogan and win.
1168
00:53:05,259 --> 00:53:07,460
I'm a Jew. I was born a Jew.
1169
00:53:07,460 --> 00:53:08,980
Do you hate me because of that?
1170
00:53:09,020 --> 00:53:12,460
If our parents converted
to Catholicism...
1171
00:53:12,499 --> 00:53:15,779
a month before you were born,
we'd be Catholics.
1172
00:53:15,819 --> 00:53:18,340
They're clubs.
They're exclusionary.
1173
00:53:18,379 --> 00:53:21,139
They foster
the concept of the other...
1174
00:53:21,180 --> 00:53:23,780
so you know clearly
who you should hate.
1175
00:53:23,780 --> 00:53:25,340
That's enough.
1176
00:53:25,379 --> 00:53:27,780
If a Jew gets massacred...
1177
00:53:27,820 --> 00:53:30,820
does that bother you more
than if a gentile gets hurt...
1178
00:53:30,859 --> 00:53:33,339
or a black or a Bosnian?
1179
00:53:33,380 --> 00:53:34,579
It does.
1180
00:53:34,620 --> 00:53:36,300
I can't help it.
It's my people.
1181
00:53:36,339 --> 00:53:38,060
They're all your people.
1182
00:53:38,100 --> 00:53:39,939
Burt is right about you.
1183
00:53:39,980 --> 00:53:41,819
You're a self-hating Jew.
1184
00:53:41,859 --> 00:53:44,459
I may hate myself,
but not because I'm Jewish.
1185
00:53:44,500 --> 00:53:46,140
He says he's not
a self-hating Jew...
1186
00:53:46,180 --> 00:53:49,099
and look how he talks about them
in his stories.
1187
00:53:50,659 --> 00:53:53,619
Max and Dolly Pincus
were married for 30 years.
1188
00:53:53,659 --> 00:53:54,940
They raised two children...
1189
00:53:54,980 --> 00:53:57,219
and there was never a family
wedding or bar mitzvah...
1190
00:53:57,260 --> 00:53:59,500
where they were not
generous participants.
1191
00:53:59,539 --> 00:54:00,779
Max, how are you?
1192
00:54:01,859 --> 00:54:03,379
Yossel, mazel tov.
1193
00:54:03,420 --> 00:54:04,660
For Donald.
1194
00:54:04,700 --> 00:54:05,900
Thank you.
1195
00:54:10,659 --> 00:54:14,140
Dolly, you got a private minute?
1196
00:54:14,180 --> 00:54:15,380
Sure.
1197
00:54:15,420 --> 00:54:17,659
We are leaving in a few minutes.
1198
00:54:19,260 --> 00:54:21,820
I don't know
if I should tell you.
1199
00:54:21,860 --> 00:54:23,139
Tell me what?
1200
00:54:23,180 --> 00:54:25,780
Tell me, and I will tell you
if you should tell me.
1201
00:54:25,820 --> 00:54:27,060
My heart is heavy.
1202
00:54:27,099 --> 00:54:28,459
What happened?
1203
00:54:28,499 --> 00:54:31,180
Nothing terrible happened
to your husband Phil, did it?
1204
00:54:31,219 --> 00:54:32,780
He has been dead
for so many years.
1205
00:54:35,300 --> 00:54:37,340
When I was in Florida
last week...
1206
00:54:37,379 --> 00:54:38,980
I ran into a man...
1207
00:54:39,019 --> 00:54:42,420
who heard from someone
who knew someone.
1208
00:54:42,459 --> 00:54:46,500
Anyway, it seems Max
has some secret from his past.
1209
00:54:47,740 --> 00:54:49,100
You're talking about my Max?
1210
00:54:49,140 --> 00:54:50,579
A dark secret.
1211
00:54:50,620 --> 00:54:52,700
-What kind of a dark secret?
-Dark.
1212
00:54:52,739 --> 00:54:54,939
What is by you dark?
1213
00:54:54,979 --> 00:54:56,140
I don't know.
1214
00:54:56,179 --> 00:54:57,859
What kind of a dark secret?
1215
00:54:57,900 --> 00:55:00,419
We have been married
for 30 years.
1216
00:55:00,459 --> 00:55:02,020
You're his first wife?
1217
00:55:02,059 --> 00:55:03,540
Sure.
1218
00:55:03,579 --> 00:55:05,020
Before me, he worked for--
1219
00:55:05,060 --> 00:55:06,940
All right.
1220
00:55:06,980 --> 00:55:09,219
What?
1221
00:55:09,260 --> 00:55:10,299
You heard something different?
1222
00:55:10,339 --> 00:55:12,259
I heard only a dark secret.
1223
00:55:12,259 --> 00:55:13,660
Do I know what dark secret?
1224
00:55:13,700 --> 00:55:15,099
Who told you?
1225
00:55:16,260 --> 00:55:18,699
Wolf Fishbein.
1226
00:55:18,740 --> 00:55:20,700
Be careful.
1227
00:55:20,739 --> 00:55:22,980
That's all I want to say.
1228
00:55:22,980 --> 00:55:26,259
Dolly tried putting
Elsie's words out of her mind...
1229
00:55:26,300 --> 00:55:28,940
but Max's dark secret
plagued her.
1230
00:55:28,979 --> 00:55:32,180
Then one day,
she ran into Wolf Fishbein...
1231
00:55:32,220 --> 00:55:34,780
and the truth was revealed.
1232
00:55:34,820 --> 00:55:36,580
Try to breathe deeply.
1233
00:55:36,620 --> 00:55:39,620
You were right.
1234
00:55:39,659 --> 00:55:41,459
Fishbein told me a tale.
1235
00:55:41,500 --> 00:55:45,500
Max, before I met him,
he lived in Florida.
1236
00:55:45,539 --> 00:55:49,460
He had a store--groceries.
1237
00:55:49,500 --> 00:55:51,619
He was married.
1238
00:55:51,660 --> 00:55:52,780
Now it comes out.
1239
00:55:53,860 --> 00:55:57,339
To a woman with two children.
1240
00:55:57,379 --> 00:55:59,299
Max had other children?
1241
00:55:59,340 --> 00:56:03,460
The woman's children,
from a prior marriage.
1242
00:56:05,820 --> 00:56:09,179
He began an affair
with the downstairs neighbor--
1243
00:56:09,220 --> 00:56:10,460
a widow.
1244
00:56:10,500 --> 00:56:12,540
He probably had
all his hair then.
1245
00:56:13,659 --> 00:56:18,420
Meanwhile, he got into debt
deeper and deeper...
1246
00:56:18,459 --> 00:56:21,379
and carry on with the neighbor.
1247
00:56:21,420 --> 00:56:22,820
My heart.
1248
00:56:25,540 --> 00:56:28,740
He can't get himself
out of a predicament.
1249
00:56:30,179 --> 00:56:31,499
What does he do?
1250
00:56:31,539 --> 00:56:33,260
He stole money.
1251
00:56:33,299 --> 00:56:35,219
I should be so lucky.
1252
00:56:35,260 --> 00:56:37,060
He killed his wife.
1253
00:56:40,060 --> 00:56:42,180
The man purchased an ax.
1254
00:56:42,219 --> 00:56:43,380
With an ax?
1255
00:56:43,420 --> 00:56:44,620
You know Max.
1256
00:56:44,659 --> 00:56:46,179
He's nothing with tools.
1257
00:56:46,219 --> 00:56:48,499
He can't even hang a picture.
1258
00:56:48,539 --> 00:56:50,059
I'm dropping dead.
1259
00:56:50,100 --> 00:56:52,060
Plus her children.
1260
00:56:53,219 --> 00:56:54,740
Plus a neighbor.
1261
00:56:54,780 --> 00:56:59,020
Four people he killed
one night with an ax.
1262
00:56:59,059 --> 00:57:01,179
Your Max?
1263
00:57:01,220 --> 00:57:02,860
This is not the capper.
1264
00:57:02,899 --> 00:57:04,459
There's more?
1265
00:57:04,500 --> 00:57:05,699
More.
1266
00:57:07,500 --> 00:57:08,939
What more?
1267
00:57:10,059 --> 00:57:11,500
He ate them.
1268
00:57:11,539 --> 00:57:13,099
Are you talking crazy?
1269
00:57:13,140 --> 00:57:16,420
He devoured them.
1270
00:57:16,460 --> 00:57:18,579
I can't breathe.
1271
00:57:18,620 --> 00:57:20,459
Everything is closing in.
1272
00:57:20,499 --> 00:57:24,420
Whatever you do,
first, hear Max's side.
1273
00:57:24,459 --> 00:57:26,460
Max has a side?
1274
00:57:26,499 --> 00:57:29,099
He kills his family
and eats them up.
1275
00:57:29,139 --> 00:57:30,499
The man has a side?
1276
00:57:30,540 --> 00:57:34,499
He was a good husband and
a loving father for 30 years.
1277
00:57:34,540 --> 00:57:36,539
You have a daughter
who went to college.
1278
00:57:36,580 --> 00:57:38,220
You have a son who's a writer.
1279
00:57:39,740 --> 00:57:43,580
Maybe the best course of action
is let sleeping dogs lie.
1280
00:57:44,659 --> 00:57:47,099
Honey, would you pass
the sour cream?
1281
00:57:51,899 --> 00:57:54,300
You haven't touched a thing.
1282
00:57:55,739 --> 00:57:56,859
Nice weather!
1283
00:57:58,020 --> 00:57:59,100
It's OK.
1284
00:57:59,139 --> 00:58:00,900
It's not just OK.
1285
00:58:00,900 --> 00:58:02,179
It's nice!
1286
00:58:02,179 --> 00:58:03,620
All right, all right.
1287
00:58:03,620 --> 00:58:05,660
What are you getting
so steamed up about?
1288
00:58:05,700 --> 00:58:08,099
What makes you such
an authority on the weather?
1289
00:58:08,099 --> 00:58:09,540
Me?
1290
00:58:09,540 --> 00:58:10,979
All I said...
1291
00:58:10,979 --> 00:58:12,899
I know, I know.
I know what you said.
1292
00:58:12,899 --> 00:58:14,819
The fish is delicious.
1293
00:58:14,819 --> 00:58:16,820
Wouldn't you rather have meat?
1294
00:58:16,859 --> 00:58:18,779
Since when do I eat meat?
1295
00:58:18,820 --> 00:58:19,899
Mm-hmm.
1296
00:58:19,940 --> 00:58:22,660
With my arteries, you gotta
watch out for cholesterol.
1297
00:58:22,660 --> 00:58:23,940
Uh-huh.
1298
00:58:23,940 --> 00:58:26,820
What is the "uh-huh"?
1299
00:58:26,820 --> 00:58:29,420
I mean, you've been
very touchy lately.
1300
00:58:29,459 --> 00:58:31,460
Don't interrogate me...
1301
00:58:31,500 --> 00:58:33,420
Mr. Max Pinchuck!
1302
00:58:39,820 --> 00:58:42,140
Where did you hear that name?
1303
00:58:42,180 --> 00:58:44,859
Did you kill your first wife
with an ax?
1304
00:58:44,900 --> 00:58:47,459
I got a headache.
1305
00:58:47,500 --> 00:58:50,059
Did you chop her up
along with your mistress?
1306
00:58:53,260 --> 00:58:57,059
If I tell you why I did it,
do you promise not to nudge me?
1307
00:58:57,059 --> 00:58:59,939
Wolf Fishbein said
in order to hide the bodies...
1308
00:58:59,980 --> 00:59:02,099
you ate them !
1309
00:59:02,139 --> 00:59:05,220
So what are you making a fuss?
1310
00:59:05,259 --> 00:59:07,300
Some bury, some burn.
1311
00:59:07,339 --> 00:59:08,419
I ate.
1312
00:59:08,459 --> 00:59:09,699
Enough!
1313
00:59:09,740 --> 00:59:11,940
I remember
Max Pincus' Dark Secret.
1314
00:59:11,979 --> 00:59:13,379
That is a disgraceful story.
1315
00:59:13,420 --> 00:59:15,459
You don't see your sick view
of our parents?
1316
00:59:15,500 --> 00:59:17,219
I wrote it when I was younger.
1317
00:59:17,260 --> 00:59:19,460
The first of a number
of anti-Semitic pieces.
1318
00:59:19,500 --> 00:59:21,540
Here he is,
direct from the Wailing Wall.
1319
00:59:21,579 --> 00:59:23,460
Disrespectful, shameful.
1320
00:59:23,499 --> 00:59:24,899
Jews haven't suffered enough...
1321
00:59:24,940 --> 00:59:27,580
without being depicted by him
as homicidal cannibals.
1322
00:59:27,619 --> 00:59:29,019
He has no spiritual center.
1323
00:59:29,060 --> 00:59:30,939
He's betting everything
on physics and pussy!
1324
00:59:30,980 --> 00:59:32,660
Excuse the expression.
1325
00:59:32,699 --> 00:59:33,980
Wait till he gets cancer.
1326
00:59:34,020 --> 00:59:35,899
He'll be the first one
in synagogue...
1327
00:59:35,940 --> 00:59:37,499
in the front row in a yarmulke.
1328
00:59:37,539 --> 00:59:39,579
Why should I get cancer?
I eat broccoli.
1329
00:59:39,620 --> 00:59:41,499
Do you care even
about the holocaust...
1330
00:59:41,540 --> 00:59:42,940
or do you think
it never happened?
1331
00:59:42,979 --> 00:59:45,339
Not only do I know
that we lost six million...
1332
00:59:45,380 --> 00:59:49,299
but the scary thing is that
records are made to be broken.
1333
00:59:49,339 --> 00:59:51,580
I know what's out there.
Do you have any idea?
1334
00:59:51,619 --> 00:59:53,660
He creates offensive
Jewish stereotypes...
1335
00:59:53,699 --> 00:59:55,099
Like in Der Sturmer.
1336
00:59:55,140 --> 00:59:57,819
Max is a version of Daddy--
a man you hated...
1337
00:59:57,860 --> 01:00:00,859
a man you think was guilty
of being a terrible parent.
1338
01:00:00,900 --> 01:00:02,459
He was a terrible parent.
1339
01:00:03,299 --> 01:00:05,180
Thank you for dropping by.
1340
01:00:05,219 --> 01:00:07,180
Please come again
in another four years.
1341
01:00:07,220 --> 01:00:09,020
Look, wouldn't it be
a better world...
1342
01:00:09,059 --> 01:00:12,379
if not every group thought
they had a direct line to God?
1343
01:00:12,420 --> 01:00:15,259
He thinks
I'm all Jewish paranoia.
1344
01:00:15,300 --> 01:00:16,700
No, I don't think
you're paranoid.
1345
01:00:16,739 --> 01:00:18,620
I think you're the opposite
of a paranoid.
1346
01:00:18,659 --> 01:00:21,500
You go around with the insane
delusion that people like you.
1347
01:00:30,899 --> 01:00:31,819
What's the matter?
1348
01:00:31,859 --> 01:00:33,260
You son of a bitch!
1349
01:00:33,300 --> 01:00:34,220
What's wrong?
1350
01:00:34,260 --> 01:00:36,140
You sick, sick, sick...
1351
01:00:36,180 --> 01:00:37,579
sick fucking bastard!
1352
01:00:37,619 --> 01:00:38,900
What's wrong?
1353
01:00:40,179 --> 01:00:41,579
What do you think is wrong?
1354
01:00:41,620 --> 01:00:44,140
You've been having an affair
with one of my patients.
1355
01:00:44,179 --> 01:00:45,259
Who?
1356
01:00:45,299 --> 01:00:48,139
Don't act like you don't know
what I'm talking about!
1357
01:00:48,179 --> 01:00:49,259
Don't speak!
1358
01:00:49,300 --> 01:00:51,340
I just talked to her.
She told me the whole thing.
1359
01:00:51,380 --> 01:00:52,340
Who? Who?
1360
01:00:54,100 --> 01:00:56,300
Mrs. Pollack. Amy Pollack.
1361
01:00:56,340 --> 01:00:57,739
Can I explain something?
1362
01:00:57,779 --> 01:00:58,859
You know Amy Pollack?
1363
01:00:58,900 --> 01:01:00,779
Don't explain anything,
you little fucking asshole!
1364
01:01:00,820 --> 01:01:02,220
Will you calm down?
1365
01:01:02,259 --> 01:01:04,459
Don't you tell me to calm down!
1366
01:01:04,499 --> 01:01:06,860
-What's wrong?
-What is wrong?
1367
01:01:06,900 --> 01:01:09,740
I treat this woman
and she exits...
1368
01:01:09,780 --> 01:01:12,620
and you meet her
and you fuck her!
1369
01:01:12,660 --> 01:01:15,019
Supposing I told you
that my fucking Amy Pollack...
1370
01:01:15,059 --> 01:01:18,380
was a disguised plea
for more closeness with you?
1371
01:01:18,420 --> 01:01:21,140
Then I'd say
you are a mental case.
1372
01:01:21,179 --> 01:01:22,620
This is you
with your first wife.
1373
01:01:22,660 --> 01:01:23,740
You're crazy.
1374
01:01:23,780 --> 01:01:26,180
You were claiming you loved her,
couldn't live without her...
1375
01:01:26,180 --> 01:01:28,580
all the while you're having
affair after affair.
1376
01:01:28,580 --> 01:01:31,899
My first wife, I told you,
I was laying in bed with her...
1377
01:01:31,940 --> 01:01:35,140
I turned off her because the way
the light struck her.
1378
01:01:35,140 --> 01:01:37,060
Suddenly she looked to me
like Max Schmeling.
1379
01:01:37,060 --> 01:01:39,100
What do you want me to say?
1380
01:01:39,140 --> 01:01:42,020
Not that she wasn't pretty,
but she looked like Schmeling.
1381
01:01:42,020 --> 01:01:43,299
I couldn't get an erection.
1382
01:01:43,299 --> 01:01:45,059
Stop this tap-dancing!
This is bullshit!
1383
01:01:45,059 --> 01:01:46,820
It's not bullshit.
1384
01:01:46,820 --> 01:01:49,540
With you, it's different.
You turned off me.
1385
01:01:49,540 --> 01:01:51,460
Ever since Hilly was born.
1386
01:01:51,460 --> 01:01:54,340
We've been living like siblings.
It's been platonic.
1387
01:01:54,340 --> 01:01:55,860
Don't play "blame the victim"!
1388
01:01:55,899 --> 01:01:57,259
What are you talking about?
1389
01:01:57,299 --> 01:02:00,139
I'm as much a victim as you.
1390
01:02:00,179 --> 01:02:02,619
You think that getting
a blow job...
1391
01:02:02,659 --> 01:02:06,380
from a big-bosomed 26-year-old
is a pleasurable thing for me?
1392
01:02:06,420 --> 01:02:07,900
You're making me sick!
1393
01:02:07,940 --> 01:02:10,699
I can't believe
this is happening.
1394
01:02:10,739 --> 01:02:11,819
You're overreacting.
1395
01:02:11,860 --> 01:02:13,260
I'm not overreacting!
1396
01:02:13,299 --> 01:02:15,139
Are you trying to tell me...
1397
01:02:15,139 --> 01:02:17,059
that every week
for the last four months...
1398
01:02:17,059 --> 01:02:19,860
you've been with her
in the hotel?
1399
01:02:19,899 --> 01:02:22,259
Oh, that's so crazy.
No, of course not!
1400
01:02:22,300 --> 01:02:24,419
I rented an apartment.
1401
01:02:24,459 --> 01:02:26,300
I'm gonna kill you!
1402
01:02:29,379 --> 01:02:32,259
Hello, doctor.
I'm sorry I'm late.
1403
01:02:32,259 --> 01:02:33,219
Mr. Farber.
1404
01:02:33,219 --> 01:02:35,139
Take off your coat. Come in.
1405
01:02:49,539 --> 01:02:50,980
I've been...
1406
01:02:50,980 --> 01:02:52,900
I've been losing sleep at night.
1407
01:02:52,900 --> 01:02:54,820
I can't shut my eyes at night.
1408
01:02:54,820 --> 01:02:57,219
I think I should quit my job...
1409
01:02:57,219 --> 01:03:00,180
but I can't
bring myself to do it.
1410
01:03:00,219 --> 01:03:03,060
Maybe because my brother-in-law
treats me kindly.
1411
01:03:03,099 --> 01:03:04,980
But working for him...
1412
01:03:05,019 --> 01:03:07,300
is taking its toll on me
emotionally.
1413
01:03:07,300 --> 01:03:09,220
Could you excuse me, Mr. Farber?
1414
01:03:09,220 --> 01:03:10,340
What?
1415
01:03:14,140 --> 01:03:16,139
You fucked-up fuck!
1416
01:03:16,179 --> 01:03:18,339
I can't believe
you fucking did this!
1417
01:03:18,380 --> 01:03:19,620
You fucking asshole!
1418
01:03:19,660 --> 01:03:21,540
You fucked my patient?
1419
01:03:21,580 --> 01:03:23,620
Harry, you don't fuck
somebody's patient!
1420
01:03:23,660 --> 01:03:25,140
Fuck you!
1421
01:03:34,460 --> 01:03:36,059
Continue, Mr. Farber.
1422
01:03:40,380 --> 01:03:41,779
You lost your thread?
1423
01:03:41,819 --> 01:03:43,699
You were talking about
quitting your job.
1424
01:03:43,739 --> 01:03:45,499
Oh. Right.
1425
01:03:47,100 --> 01:03:50,419
I discussed it with my wife.
1426
01:03:50,459 --> 01:03:53,299
While she seems on the surface
to be supportive...
1427
01:03:53,339 --> 01:03:55,219
I know she'd rather I stay on.
1428
01:03:55,259 --> 01:03:57,139
She idolizes Gordon.
1429
01:03:57,179 --> 01:03:59,059
I mean, all the time...
1430
01:03:59,099 --> 01:04:01,939
that's all she does
is spend time with him anyway.
1431
01:04:01,979 --> 01:04:04,660
Listen, could you excuse me
just one more second?
1432
01:04:04,699 --> 01:04:05,860
Again?
1433
01:04:05,900 --> 01:04:08,580
Just continue. I can hear you
from the hallway. Loudly.
1434
01:04:10,700 --> 01:04:12,740
I want you to get out of here.
1435
01:04:12,779 --> 01:04:15,419
I want you to get
your goddamn stuff together...
1436
01:04:15,460 --> 01:04:16,860
and I want you out.
1437
01:04:16,899 --> 01:04:18,780
You know, I cannot understand...
1438
01:04:18,819 --> 01:04:20,859
why the most sophisticated
of women...
1439
01:04:20,899 --> 01:04:22,460
can't tell the difference...
1440
01:04:22,500 --> 01:04:25,500
between a meaningless,
hot, passionate sexual affair...
1441
01:04:25,539 --> 01:04:27,899
and a nice, solid,
tranquil, routine marriage.
1442
01:04:27,940 --> 01:04:29,819
Harry, just tell me something.
1443
01:04:29,860 --> 01:04:32,060
Was she the only one,
or were there others?
1444
01:04:32,100 --> 01:04:33,980
No, Amy Pollack
was the only one.
1445
01:04:34,020 --> 01:04:35,459
May God strike me dead
if I'm lying.
1446
01:04:35,500 --> 01:04:37,499
You're an atheist, Harry!
1447
01:04:37,540 --> 01:04:40,379
We're alone in the universe.
Gonna blame that on me, too?
1448
01:04:40,420 --> 01:04:42,139
-Stop that tap-dancing!
-Stop that!
1449
01:04:42,179 --> 01:04:44,420
You know,
you turned off me first.
1450
01:04:44,459 --> 01:04:46,500
Oh, please!
1451
01:04:46,539 --> 01:04:47,939
No, I gave birth.
1452
01:04:47,980 --> 01:04:51,300
When women give birth,
there is a time period...
1453
01:04:51,339 --> 01:04:53,259
when their hormones
just sort of go crazy.
1454
01:04:54,219 --> 01:04:55,420
But they settle.
1455
01:04:55,459 --> 01:04:57,980
OK, so you're telling me
that you're settling.
1456
01:04:58,020 --> 01:05:00,539
-I accept that.
-You accept that?
1457
01:05:00,580 --> 01:05:02,940
Oh, Harry,
you are so fucking nuts!
1458
01:05:02,979 --> 01:05:04,860
Take it easy.
1459
01:05:04,899 --> 01:05:09,339
Harry, if you're not happy
in a marriage, you don't cheat.
1460
01:05:09,380 --> 01:05:11,099
And with my patient?
1461
01:05:11,140 --> 01:05:13,979
That is a sacred trust.
My patient.
1462
01:05:14,020 --> 01:05:16,059
What do you want?
Who else do I meet?
1463
01:05:16,100 --> 01:05:18,219
I'm here, working in the room,
we have the baby...
1464
01:05:18,260 --> 01:05:20,699
you're out there practicing,
we never socialize.
1465
01:05:21,300 --> 01:05:23,019
So now you're blaming me...
1466
01:05:23,060 --> 01:05:25,420
because I don't go out with you
enough places...
1467
01:05:25,460 --> 01:05:27,299
where you can meet strangers
to fuck?
1468
01:05:31,700 --> 01:05:36,339
I was merely explaining to you
why my choice, of necessity...
1469
01:05:36,380 --> 01:05:38,219
is confined to your practice.
1470
01:05:40,339 --> 01:05:42,499
I knew you were mentally ill
before I married you...
1471
01:05:42,499 --> 01:05:45,099
but I thought because
I was a trained professional...
1472
01:05:45,139 --> 01:05:46,660
that I could help you.
1473
01:05:49,460 --> 01:05:50,859
The last thing you wanna do...
1474
01:05:50,899 --> 01:05:53,020
is get down on yourself
as a therapist.
1475
01:05:55,379 --> 01:05:58,860
I want you to get your shit
and get your goddamn clothes...
1476
01:05:58,900 --> 01:06:01,260
and I want you to get
the fuck out of here!
1477
01:06:01,299 --> 01:06:03,660
You are the most fucking
irresponsible person...
1478
01:06:03,700 --> 01:06:05,740
I've ever seen
in my entire life!
1479
01:06:05,780 --> 01:06:07,380
And get out!
1480
01:06:10,499 --> 01:06:12,099
Continue, Mr. Farber.
1481
01:06:13,700 --> 01:06:15,139
Doctor...
1482
01:06:15,139 --> 01:06:18,500
And I mean tonight,
motherfucker!
1483
01:06:25,539 --> 01:06:27,300
Dad, my Pepsi.
1484
01:06:34,660 --> 01:06:36,580
So you got even
with your ex-wife...
1485
01:06:36,580 --> 01:06:38,619
and with your sister,
and I was born?
1486
01:06:38,660 --> 01:06:40,099
Born? What are you saying?
1487
01:06:40,099 --> 01:06:42,620
From your pen.
From your fertile imagination.
1488
01:06:42,660 --> 01:06:44,219
And I mean imagination.
1489
01:06:44,260 --> 01:06:46,299
I wasn't trying
to get even with Joan.
1490
01:06:46,340 --> 01:06:49,060
You created me
as the shrewish Jewish hybrid...
1491
01:06:49,060 --> 01:06:50,620
who goes off
with another patient...
1492
01:06:50,659 --> 01:06:53,180
an orthodox divorcee
from Tel Aviv.
1493
01:06:53,220 --> 01:06:55,260
My sister never should have
married Burt.
1494
01:06:55,300 --> 01:06:57,340
This guy's turned her
into a zealot.
1495
01:06:57,379 --> 01:06:58,459
She loves you.
1496
01:06:58,499 --> 01:07:00,740
It wasn't her fault
your father persecuted you.
1497
01:07:00,740 --> 01:07:02,780
She was fine
till she wound up with him--
1498
01:07:02,820 --> 01:07:04,740
this right-wing hawk
that she's married.
1499
01:07:04,740 --> 01:07:05,820
Listen to him.
1500
01:07:05,860 --> 01:07:08,580
So she disappointed you
in her choice of husbands?
1501
01:07:08,580 --> 01:07:10,139
Well, fuck you. She loves Burt.
1502
01:07:10,179 --> 01:07:12,899
She was a wonderful kid.
She had a flair for physics.
1503
01:07:12,899 --> 01:07:14,539
Suddenly overnight,
she's kosher.
1504
01:07:14,580 --> 01:07:15,980
She loves you still...
1505
01:07:16,019 --> 01:07:18,860
despite your obvious
condescension towards her life.
1506
01:07:18,899 --> 01:07:20,060
Does she love me?
1507
01:07:20,100 --> 01:07:22,540
Would you like to hear
what she says about you?
1508
01:07:22,580 --> 01:07:23,940
He's not so bad, Burt.
1509
01:07:23,979 --> 01:07:25,860
He really was
a very good brother.
1510
01:07:25,860 --> 01:07:28,580
Just my father never forgave him
when his wife died.
1511
01:07:28,580 --> 01:07:30,019
The man is not a Jewish man.
1512
01:07:30,019 --> 01:07:31,939
He's not a Jewish man.
That's all.
1513
01:07:31,939 --> 01:07:33,500
All right. Poor Harry.
1514
01:07:33,540 --> 01:07:35,300
He was always lost.
1515
01:07:35,300 --> 01:07:37,220
He could just never
accept the fact...
1516
01:07:37,220 --> 01:07:39,259
that there are things
you can't know.
1517
01:07:39,300 --> 01:07:42,180
The man is incapable
of an act of faith.
1518
01:07:42,180 --> 01:07:44,100
For that, I pity him.
1519
01:07:44,100 --> 01:07:46,980
I would like to hug him again
like when we were kids.
1520
01:07:46,980 --> 01:07:49,539
And if I was upset,
he was a comfort to me.
1521
01:07:50,179 --> 01:07:51,739
What happens to us?
1522
01:07:51,780 --> 01:07:52,740
Doris...
1523
01:07:52,740 --> 01:07:54,179
She can't hear you.
1524
01:07:55,900 --> 01:07:57,780
And as for Joan...
1525
01:07:57,820 --> 01:07:59,700
Joan? Joan hates me.
1526
01:07:59,740 --> 01:08:01,140
Well, shouldn't she?
1527
01:08:01,179 --> 01:08:04,059
Why should she hate me,
because I was unfaithful to her?
1528
01:08:04,100 --> 01:08:06,580
No, because when she caught you,
you weren't a man.
1529
01:08:06,620 --> 01:08:09,460
You turned
into this double-talking...
1530
01:08:09,500 --> 01:08:12,180
wise-cracking, tap-dancing liar.
1531
01:08:12,220 --> 01:08:14,260
If she had not become
so enraged...
1532
01:08:14,300 --> 01:08:15,859
maybe we could've
patched things up.
1533
01:08:15,900 --> 01:08:17,700
Listen to this guy. Deluded.
1534
01:08:17,700 --> 01:08:20,020
Maybe it tapered a bit
after Hilly was born...
1535
01:08:20,060 --> 01:08:21,980
but you two had sex
pretty regularly.
1536
01:08:22,019 --> 01:08:24,659
I have no idea
why I took up with that patient.
1537
01:08:24,700 --> 01:08:26,740
She was available,
she was adorable.
1538
01:08:26,780 --> 01:08:28,660
And my marriage
was droning on.
1539
01:08:28,700 --> 01:08:31,379
What you call "droning on,"
most people call "working."
1540
01:08:31,420 --> 01:08:33,780
If that's working,
then marriage is not for me.
1541
01:08:33,819 --> 01:08:35,219
Well, it's not for everyone.
1542
01:08:35,260 --> 01:08:37,060
But then I get lonely.
1543
01:08:37,060 --> 01:08:39,139
Hey, what do you want me to say?
1544
01:08:39,179 --> 01:08:40,979
She gave me Hilly...
1545
01:08:41,020 --> 01:08:42,899
and for that
I'm eternally grateful...
1546
01:08:42,940 --> 01:08:44,980
'cause I love him so much.
1547
01:08:45,020 --> 01:08:46,739
You can have any one
you want here.
1548
01:08:46,780 --> 01:08:48,180
Can I get two?
1549
01:08:48,219 --> 01:08:49,299
You can get two.
1550
01:08:49,339 --> 01:08:51,219
Tell you what,
you get any three presents.
1551
01:08:51,259 --> 01:08:53,620
Go through the store
and pick any three presents, OK?
1552
01:08:53,660 --> 01:08:54,740
Yeah.
1553
01:08:54,779 --> 01:08:55,860
Look what I found.
1554
01:08:55,899 --> 01:08:56,979
Hey.
1555
01:08:57,019 --> 01:08:59,219
This is the chemistry set
you always wanted.
1556
01:08:59,260 --> 01:09:01,139
Look at that. It's perfect.
1557
01:09:01,180 --> 01:09:02,980
No, no. Don't open it here.
1558
01:09:03,019 --> 01:09:05,899
Let me buy it first, OK?
So I don't get into--
1559
01:09:09,099 --> 01:09:10,179
How you doing?
1560
01:09:10,220 --> 01:09:11,779
Larry, what are you doing here?
1561
01:09:11,819 --> 01:09:13,220
Buying my nephew
a Power Ranger.
1562
01:09:13,260 --> 01:09:15,300
When did you get back?
1563
01:09:15,340 --> 01:09:16,899
A couple of days ago.
1564
01:09:16,940 --> 01:09:18,900
Hey, Fay.
1565
01:09:18,939 --> 01:09:20,900
Meet Larry.
I told you about Larry.
1566
01:09:20,940 --> 01:09:22,980
Oh, yeah.
It's nice to meet you.
1567
01:09:23,020 --> 01:09:24,260
Old friend, colleague, peer.
1568
01:09:24,299 --> 01:09:25,379
Right.
1569
01:09:25,419 --> 01:09:26,660
So you got back when?
1570
01:09:26,700 --> 01:09:29,060
Two days ago.
I took a boat down the Amazon.
1571
01:09:29,099 --> 01:09:30,500
Really?
God, that sounds exciting.
1572
01:09:30,540 --> 01:09:32,900
Yes, if you don't mind
malaria and dysentery.
1573
01:09:32,939 --> 01:09:34,820
Butterflies the size of doves.
1574
01:09:34,859 --> 01:09:36,580
Never seen anything like it
before.
1575
01:09:36,619 --> 01:09:38,660
I can live without that,
however.
1576
01:09:38,699 --> 01:09:39,939
It was astounding.
1577
01:09:39,980 --> 01:09:41,540
It sounds it.
1578
01:09:41,579 --> 01:09:44,260
So you got back two days ago?
1579
01:09:44,299 --> 01:09:46,340
We go back a long way.
1580
01:09:46,379 --> 01:09:48,579
We both started out
wanting to be Kafka...
1581
01:09:48,620 --> 01:09:50,659
and you got slightly closer
than me.
1582
01:09:50,700 --> 01:09:52,819
Yeah, I became the insect
and he...
1583
01:09:53,899 --> 01:09:55,299
Good. I'm amazed.
1584
01:09:55,340 --> 01:09:56,740
We should go out.
1585
01:09:56,779 --> 01:10:00,219
Why don't you come to my house
in East Hampton for a weekend?
1586
01:10:00,259 --> 01:10:01,500
It will be great fun.
1587
01:10:01,540 --> 01:10:02,940
Well, let's not get hysterical.
1588
01:10:02,979 --> 01:10:05,340
No, I'd love to.
It would be fun.
1589
01:10:05,380 --> 01:10:06,620
Oh, it's beautiful out there.
1590
01:10:06,659 --> 01:10:08,380
It's sand in the crotch.
It's ticks.
1591
01:10:08,420 --> 01:10:10,259
To get this guy
to leave his room...
1592
01:10:10,300 --> 01:10:13,020
He's never had a tan.
1593
01:10:13,060 --> 01:10:15,899
I've always wanted to learn
how to snorkel.
1594
01:10:15,940 --> 01:10:17,020
Oh, it's great there.
1595
01:10:17,060 --> 01:10:19,260
Where he lives there are sharks.
1596
01:10:19,299 --> 01:10:20,379
You see those photographs...
1597
01:10:20,419 --> 01:10:22,619
of guys with stumps
for legs and arms?
1598
01:10:22,660 --> 01:10:23,740
Am I lying?
1599
01:10:23,780 --> 01:10:25,179
Yes, you are. It's fabulous.
1600
01:10:25,219 --> 01:10:26,620
Let me buy dinner. We'll talk.
1601
01:10:26,660 --> 01:10:28,219
No, we'll buy dinner.
1602
01:10:28,260 --> 01:10:30,299
I'd love to tell you
about the Amazon.
1603
01:10:30,340 --> 01:10:31,740
It changed my life.
1604
01:10:31,779 --> 01:10:33,179
It sounds amazing.
1605
01:10:33,220 --> 01:10:35,260
Gonna write a novel.
I'll tell you.
1606
01:10:35,300 --> 01:10:38,300
I'm not into the Amazon.
You know what the Amazon is?
1607
01:10:38,339 --> 01:10:40,380
The Amazon
is the tiny, little heads...
1608
01:10:40,419 --> 01:10:41,819
with the lips sewn together.
1609
01:10:41,860 --> 01:10:43,419
Can you picture him this way?
1610
01:10:44,740 --> 01:10:46,780
That's great.
We'll go to dinner tonight.
1611
01:10:46,820 --> 01:10:48,219
-Yeah, great.
-That'd be great.
1612
01:10:48,259 --> 01:10:50,979
Great. I'm single, available,
with the soul of a black man.
1613
01:10:52,099 --> 01:10:54,299
Do you smell sulfur?
1614
01:10:54,340 --> 01:10:56,700
Hilly, did you open
the chemistry set?
1615
01:10:57,780 --> 01:10:59,779
Hey, look.
We're almost there.
1616
01:10:59,820 --> 01:11:01,900
Hilly. Hilly, wake up.
We're almost--
1617
01:11:01,939 --> 01:11:04,460
Hilly, wake up.
We're almost at the university.
1618
01:11:04,500 --> 01:11:06,219
Your dad's gonna be honored...
1619
01:11:06,260 --> 01:11:08,139
limited as my curriculum was.
1620
01:11:08,180 --> 01:11:09,260
Richard, we're there.
1621
01:11:09,300 --> 01:11:10,739
Hey, honey. Wake up.
1622
01:11:12,340 --> 01:11:13,420
Something's wrong.
1623
01:11:13,459 --> 01:11:14,859
What's the matter?
1624
01:11:14,900 --> 01:11:17,140
I don't think he's breathing.
1625
01:11:17,179 --> 01:11:19,619
He's dead!
1626
01:11:19,659 --> 01:11:20,940
I can't believe this.
1627
01:11:20,980 --> 01:11:22,539
We were at the doctor's
yesterday.
1628
01:11:22,580 --> 01:11:23,980
They said his heart was fine.
1629
01:11:24,019 --> 01:11:25,100
I'm scared.
1630
01:11:25,139 --> 01:11:26,540
There's nothing
to be scared of, Hilly.
1631
01:11:26,580 --> 01:11:27,660
I'm fine, dad.
1632
01:11:27,700 --> 01:11:30,380
Remember I told you death
is a natural part of life?
1633
01:11:30,420 --> 01:11:31,979
You have to embrace them both.
1634
01:11:32,019 --> 01:11:33,260
What are we gonna do?
1635
01:11:33,300 --> 01:11:35,340
I don't know.
Get back in the car.
1636
01:11:35,380 --> 01:11:36,740
I don't wanna sit next to him !
1637
01:11:41,820 --> 01:11:43,819
Welcome to Adair University.
1638
01:11:44,820 --> 01:11:47,339
We certainly hope
you had a pleasant trip.
1639
01:11:47,379 --> 01:11:48,940
Would you like to rest up?
1640
01:11:48,979 --> 01:11:51,020
Would you like
some refreshments, perhaps?
1641
01:11:51,059 --> 01:11:52,340
Is he all right?
1642
01:11:52,819 --> 01:11:55,500
He's dead, honey.
You got one of them rubber bags?
1643
01:11:55,540 --> 01:11:57,740
We've made arrangements...
1644
01:11:57,779 --> 01:12:00,580
for the body to be delivered
to New York City.
1645
01:12:02,699 --> 01:12:06,340
I don't think he has
any immediate family, actually.
1646
01:12:07,140 --> 01:12:10,659
If you prefer,
we can call off the proceedings.
1647
01:12:11,460 --> 01:12:13,860
I think that's the best idea.
1648
01:12:15,219 --> 01:12:17,580
He'll be all right.
He's here for a purpose.
1649
01:12:21,060 --> 01:12:22,459
You know, I...
1650
01:12:23,139 --> 01:12:24,700
I'll see that...
1651
01:12:24,740 --> 01:12:27,340
that he's, you know...
1652
01:12:27,379 --> 01:12:29,820
that the funeral comes off
and all that.
1653
01:12:29,859 --> 01:12:33,100
I'll see that he's buried
properly.
1654
01:12:33,139 --> 01:12:34,860
I understand.
1655
01:12:38,180 --> 01:12:41,699
Poor Richard.
Oh, Jesus. The poor guy!
1656
01:12:44,659 --> 01:12:47,019
I'm not gonna make it.
I can't go on.
1657
01:12:47,060 --> 01:12:49,099
Not if you keep drinking
and popping pills.
1658
01:12:49,140 --> 01:12:50,979
Oh, Jesus.
I can't believe this.
1659
01:12:50,979 --> 01:12:52,820
My old school
wants to honor me...
1660
01:12:52,860 --> 01:12:54,740
I show up with a hooker
and a dead body.
1661
01:12:54,780 --> 01:12:55,860
Take it easy.
1662
01:12:55,900 --> 01:12:57,979
You're getting yourself
all wound up about nothing.
1663
01:12:58,019 --> 01:12:59,460
-Cookie, look at me!
-What?
1664
01:12:59,460 --> 01:13:01,419
Look! Look!
I'm out of focus!
1665
01:13:01,460 --> 01:13:04,380
You're a little pale,
but you're all right.
1666
01:13:04,419 --> 01:13:06,260
I'm out of focus. I'm soft.
1667
01:13:06,300 --> 01:13:08,620
You better calm down.
They'll be here any minute.
1668
01:13:08,659 --> 01:13:10,499
No, no. It's so humiliating.
1669
01:13:10,499 --> 01:13:12,539
They're gonna honor me,
and I'm a blob.
1670
01:13:12,580 --> 01:13:14,339
You look fine. Don't worry.
1671
01:13:15,259 --> 01:13:16,980
I'll be sitting on the dais.
They're eating.
1672
01:13:17,020 --> 01:13:18,419
They'll get seasick.
They'll throw up.
1673
01:13:18,459 --> 01:13:20,660
Hold my hand. Now relax.
1674
01:13:20,700 --> 01:13:23,540
You drive all the way here so
your son can see you honored...
1675
01:13:23,580 --> 01:13:25,620
and you make a jackass
out of yourself.
1676
01:13:25,660 --> 01:13:28,220
But don't you see?
I'm a huge blur.
1677
01:13:28,260 --> 01:13:30,460
You're gonna be all right.
I'm gonna talk you down.
1678
01:13:30,499 --> 01:13:32,539
I have seen
all kinds of guys O.D.
1679
01:13:32,579 --> 01:13:35,019
Heroin, acid, crack.
You name it.
1680
01:13:35,059 --> 01:13:36,460
I didn't take any of that stuff.
1681
01:13:36,500 --> 01:13:38,380
Yeah, but you're a pill-popper.
1682
01:13:38,420 --> 01:13:40,659
That's not what it is, Cookie.
It's me.
1683
01:13:40,700 --> 01:13:43,180
I'm O.D.ing on myself.
It's that I'm a shit.
1684
01:13:43,220 --> 01:13:44,339
Have some black coffee.
1685
01:13:44,379 --> 01:13:46,139
I don't want anything.
1686
01:13:46,180 --> 01:13:49,419
Talk to me about something.
You like sports?
1687
01:13:49,459 --> 01:13:50,819
Yeah. I was a pitcher.
1688
01:13:50,819 --> 01:13:54,140
When a guy crowded the plate,
I used to throw at his head,
1689
01:13:54,180 --> 01:13:56,100
'cause I'm the worst person
in the world.
1690
01:13:56,100 --> 01:13:57,539
Honey, I've seen worse.
1691
01:13:57,539 --> 01:13:58,980
Who's worse than me?
1692
01:13:58,980 --> 01:14:00,259
Hitler.
1693
01:14:00,259 --> 01:14:01,820
All right. Maybe Hitler.
1694
01:14:01,860 --> 01:14:03,299
Maybe Hitler, Goering,
and Goebbels,
1695
01:14:03,299 --> 01:14:05,219
but I'm fourth,
right behind them.
1696
01:14:05,219 --> 01:14:06,660
Come on, hold my hand.
1697
01:14:06,660 --> 01:14:08,099
Can you feel my hand?
1698
01:14:08,099 --> 01:14:09,059
Yes, it's warm.
1699
01:14:09,059 --> 01:14:10,979
See? It's just panic.
1700
01:14:10,979 --> 01:14:12,420
You're not a blob.
1701
01:14:12,420 --> 01:14:13,900
I know.
I'm gonna get over this.
1702
01:14:14,659 --> 01:14:17,180
I'm having a panic attack.
I have these attacks.
1703
01:14:17,220 --> 01:14:18,659
What sports do you like?
1704
01:14:18,659 --> 01:14:20,579
I like them all.
1705
01:14:20,579 --> 01:14:22,020
I like baseball.
I like basketball.
1706
01:14:22,020 --> 01:14:23,940
I was married to a woman,
Cookie, who--
1707
01:14:23,940 --> 01:14:25,860
she looked like Max Schmeling.
1708
01:14:25,860 --> 01:14:27,939
No, I'm not joking.
1709
01:14:28,899 --> 01:14:30,220
All right, it's time.
1710
01:14:31,180 --> 01:14:34,019
I can't get through this
without you.
1711
01:14:34,019 --> 01:14:35,460
Don't worry about it.
Don't worry.
1712
01:14:35,460 --> 01:14:36,899
If you didn't come
with me today...
1713
01:14:36,899 --> 01:14:38,860
Don't worry about it.
Straighten up.
1714
01:14:39,779 --> 01:14:42,180
I gotta get a tie.
I gotta get my tie.
1715
01:14:42,180 --> 01:14:43,420
All right. Let's go.
1716
01:14:47,419 --> 01:14:50,940
Are you ready to be
immortalized by Adair?
1717
01:14:50,980 --> 01:14:52,420
I teach your books.
1718
01:14:52,420 --> 01:14:54,100
These are some
of my literature students.
1719
01:14:54,139 --> 01:14:56,580
We all know all your work,
your characters...
1720
01:14:56,619 --> 01:14:58,179
even the obscure ones.
1721
01:14:58,220 --> 01:15:00,099
Good reading is a creative act.
1722
01:15:00,140 --> 01:15:01,780
So are you working
on anything now?
1723
01:15:01,819 --> 01:15:04,179
Something we can look forward
to sinking our teeth into?
1724
01:15:04,220 --> 01:15:08,019
I'm in the midst of writing
a thing on the devil...
1725
01:15:08,060 --> 01:15:11,380
who comes and kidnaps
a man's one true love...
1726
01:15:11,419 --> 01:15:13,980
and takes her down to hell,
and he goes to retrieve her.
1727
01:15:14,020 --> 01:15:18,299
Since it's hell, I'm able
to settle a lot of old scores.
1728
01:15:19,139 --> 01:15:20,659
What's the man like?
1729
01:15:20,700 --> 01:15:22,460
It's me, thinly disguised.
1730
01:15:22,500 --> 01:15:26,740
In fact, I don't even think
I should disguise it anymore.
1731
01:15:26,780 --> 01:15:28,700
It's, you know, it's me.
1732
01:15:30,499 --> 01:15:33,460
Floor five: subway muggers,
aggressive panhandlers...
1733
01:15:33,500 --> 01:15:34,580
and book critics.
1734
01:15:35,619 --> 01:15:38,739
Floor six: Right-wing
extremists, serial killers...
1735
01:15:38,779 --> 01:15:40,699
lawyers
who appear on television.
1736
01:15:41,700 --> 01:15:44,020
Floor seven: the media.
1737
01:15:44,060 --> 01:15:45,780
Sorry.
That floor is all filled up.
1738
01:15:46,859 --> 01:15:48,860
Floor eight:
escaped war criminals...
1739
01:15:48,899 --> 01:15:50,860
TV evangelists, and the NRA.
1740
01:15:51,700 --> 01:15:53,979
Lowest level. Everybody off.
1741
01:16:24,579 --> 01:16:25,860
What did you do?
1742
01:16:25,899 --> 01:16:27,780
I invented aluminum siding.
1743
01:16:44,459 --> 01:16:45,500
Dad.
1744
01:16:45,539 --> 01:16:47,420
Get me out of here!
This is terrible!
1745
01:16:47,459 --> 01:16:49,700
You know how
I could never stand hot weather.
1746
01:16:49,740 --> 01:16:51,139
What is this man doing here?
1747
01:16:51,179 --> 01:16:52,900
He's condemned
to eternal suffering.
1748
01:16:52,939 --> 01:16:54,339
Harry, help me.
1749
01:16:54,380 --> 01:16:57,859
I don't understand.
I demand to know the charges.
1750
01:16:57,899 --> 01:16:59,779
"He behaved unconscionably
toward his son...
1751
01:16:59,819 --> 01:17:01,699
"accused the boy
of committing a capital crime...
1752
01:17:01,739 --> 01:17:03,340
"merely by being born."
1753
01:17:03,379 --> 01:17:06,020
"Your wife,
they told me, is dead...
1754
01:17:06,060 --> 01:17:07,940
"but your son, he's thriving."
1755
01:17:08,459 --> 01:17:10,259
Why did he fight not to be born?
1756
01:17:11,260 --> 01:17:13,379
Look, I forgive him.
1757
01:17:15,059 --> 01:17:16,659
What's over is over.
1758
01:17:17,540 --> 01:17:20,420
It's finished.
Let him go to heaven, please?
1759
01:17:20,460 --> 01:17:22,380
I'm a Jew.
We don't believe in heaven.
1760
01:17:23,379 --> 01:17:24,740
Where do you wanna go?
1761
01:17:24,740 --> 01:17:26,660
To a Chinese restaurant.
1762
01:17:26,699 --> 01:17:28,100
Take him to Joy Luck.
1763
01:17:28,140 --> 01:17:30,099
I love him despite everything.
1764
01:17:50,660 --> 01:17:52,059
Looking for someone?
1765
01:17:54,180 --> 01:17:55,899
I'm here to get Fay.
1766
01:17:55,939 --> 01:17:57,939
She's not coming with you.
1767
01:17:57,979 --> 01:17:59,260
What are you telling me?
1768
01:17:59,300 --> 01:18:01,180
Because you're the head
of this whole underworld...
1769
01:18:01,220 --> 01:18:03,780
that you can just abduct her
and get away with it?
1770
01:18:03,820 --> 01:18:06,940
I'm gonna kidnap her back.
What are you laughing?
1771
01:18:06,980 --> 01:18:08,939
You dare to match your powers
against mine?
1772
01:18:08,980 --> 01:18:10,380
You wanna know why?
1773
01:18:10,419 --> 01:18:11,740
Yeah, I do.
1774
01:18:11,780 --> 01:18:14,060
I'm sorry.
Forgive me for laughing.
1775
01:18:14,100 --> 01:18:14,740
Why?
1776
01:18:15,460 --> 01:18:19,899
I'm more powerful than you
because I'm a bigger sinner.
1777
01:18:19,939 --> 01:18:24,260
Because you're a fallen angel,
and I never believed in God...
1778
01:18:24,299 --> 01:18:25,539
or heaven or any of that stuff.
1779
01:18:25,539 --> 01:18:30,059
I'm strictly quarks
and particles and black holes.
1780
01:18:30,100 --> 01:18:32,220
All the other stuff
is junk to me.
1781
01:18:32,259 --> 01:18:34,979
And also I do terrible things.
1782
01:18:35,019 --> 01:18:38,060
I've cheated on all my wives,
and none of 'em deserved it.
1783
01:18:38,100 --> 01:18:41,500
I sleep with whores,
I drink too much...
1784
01:18:41,540 --> 01:18:43,779
I take pills and I lie
and I'm vain...
1785
01:18:43,779 --> 01:18:47,580
I'm cowardly
and prone to violence.
1786
01:18:47,619 --> 01:18:48,699
Violence?
1787
01:18:48,739 --> 01:18:51,700
I once almost ran over
a book critic with my car...
1788
01:18:51,739 --> 01:18:53,460
but swerved at the last second.
1789
01:18:53,499 --> 01:18:55,179
Did you ever have
two women at once?
1790
01:18:55,220 --> 01:18:57,300
Yes, I did have
two women at once.
1791
01:18:57,339 --> 01:18:58,299
And I'll tell you
something else.
1792
01:18:58,339 --> 01:19:00,140
I didn't care
that it was exploitive.
1793
01:19:00,180 --> 01:19:01,260
And I'll tell you
something else.
1794
01:19:01,300 --> 01:19:03,180
-They were sisters.
-Really?
1795
01:19:03,220 --> 01:19:05,820
Yes. Absolutely.
Two blond WASP sisters.
1796
01:19:05,859 --> 01:19:07,099
Not the Sherman twins?
1797
01:19:07,140 --> 01:19:09,100
Yes, the Sherman twins.
Exactly.
1798
01:19:10,340 --> 01:19:11,260
They're here.
1799
01:19:11,300 --> 01:19:13,900
-The Sherman twins are here?
-Sure.
1800
01:19:13,939 --> 01:19:16,460
So, do you know Sandra Pepkin?
1801
01:19:16,500 --> 01:19:18,459
Only the best blow job
in the hadasa.
1802
01:19:18,499 --> 01:19:20,620
So if you know Sandra Pepkin...
1803
01:19:20,659 --> 01:19:23,819
I fucked her best friend,
the cripple, Pearl.
1804
01:19:23,859 --> 01:19:25,339
Oh, Pearl in the wheelchair.
1805
01:19:26,579 --> 01:19:28,499
Speaking of handicaps,
do you know Marie Taylor?
1806
01:19:28,540 --> 01:19:30,939
Well, yes,
but Marie Taylor I don't count.
1807
01:19:30,979 --> 01:19:32,179
Marie Taylor's dyslexic.
1808
01:19:32,219 --> 01:19:34,539
She put her tampax
in her nose.
1809
01:19:34,580 --> 01:19:35,659
You ever fuck a blind girl?
1810
01:19:35,700 --> 01:19:37,340
No, that I never did. Did you?
1811
01:19:37,379 --> 01:19:39,219
They're so grateful.
1812
01:19:40,419 --> 01:19:41,819
Would you like a drink?
1813
01:19:41,860 --> 01:19:44,259
Could I get some tequila?
1814
01:19:44,299 --> 01:19:45,619
I got great tequila.
1815
01:19:45,659 --> 01:19:47,380
Sit down.
Make yourself at home.
1816
01:19:47,419 --> 01:19:48,860
You want me to turn on
the air conditioner?
1817
01:19:48,899 --> 01:19:50,100
You're air conditioned here?
1818
01:19:50,139 --> 01:19:52,219
Sure.
It fucks up the ozone layer.
1819
01:19:52,260 --> 01:19:54,740
I could be very comfortable
down here.
1820
01:19:54,780 --> 01:19:56,100
I'll tell you something, Harry.
1821
01:19:56,100 --> 01:19:57,699
I love it. I love it here.
1822
01:19:57,739 --> 01:19:59,059
I wouldn't be anyplace else.
1823
01:19:59,099 --> 01:20:00,299
Here you go.
1824
01:20:00,339 --> 01:20:03,059
You know, I've been offered
a lot of jobs in your world...
1825
01:20:03,100 --> 01:20:05,099
but why should I be an employee?
1826
01:20:05,139 --> 01:20:07,299
Here I'm my own boss,
and I'm free.
1827
01:20:07,299 --> 01:20:08,740
What kind of jobs
did they offer you?
1828
01:20:08,780 --> 01:20:10,459
For two years,
I ran a Hollywood studio...
1829
01:20:10,500 --> 01:20:12,620
but you can't trust
those people.
1830
01:20:12,659 --> 01:20:13,739
I agree with you.
1831
01:20:13,779 --> 01:20:16,420
Better to rule down here
than to serve in heaven.
1832
01:20:16,460 --> 01:20:17,820
That's Milton, I think.
1833
01:20:17,859 --> 01:20:19,779
To evil.
It keeps things humming.
1834
01:20:19,819 --> 01:20:22,819
Oh, jeez. So you kidnapped Fay?
1835
01:20:22,860 --> 01:20:23,899
Yes, I did.
1836
01:20:23,939 --> 01:20:25,500
But some women are turned on...
1837
01:20:25,539 --> 01:20:26,899
by aggressive, assertive
behavior.
1838
01:20:26,939 --> 01:20:29,020
Yeah, so if I suddenly
kidnapped her back?
1839
01:20:29,060 --> 01:20:31,579
You kidnap?
It's not your style.
1840
01:20:31,619 --> 01:20:33,539
You're not a fun guy.
Too serious.
1841
01:20:33,580 --> 01:20:35,699
Fay knew that.
You're too angry at life.
1842
01:20:35,740 --> 01:20:38,299
-I got a lot to be angry at.
-Who doesn't?
1843
01:20:38,339 --> 01:20:41,059
But sooner or later, Harry,
you gotta back off.
1844
01:20:41,059 --> 01:20:43,659
It's like Vegas.
You're up, you're down...
1845
01:20:43,700 --> 01:20:46,379
but in the end,
the house always wins.
1846
01:20:46,419 --> 01:20:48,420
Doesn't mean
you didn't have fun.
1847
01:20:48,459 --> 01:20:51,420
Now, one thing you are not
is a kidnapper.
1848
01:20:51,459 --> 01:20:53,020
Kidnapper!
1849
01:20:53,060 --> 01:20:54,980
Listen to me!
1850
01:20:55,019 --> 01:20:56,539
Get out of my way!
1851
01:20:56,579 --> 01:20:59,060
Can't you see you're walking
with a fucking kidnapper?
1852
01:20:59,100 --> 01:21:00,539
You'll have to come
with me, sir.
1853
01:21:02,179 --> 01:21:06,900
You're under arrest.
I gotta put the cuffs on you.
1854
01:21:06,940 --> 01:21:08,580
You stay over there.
1855
01:21:08,619 --> 01:21:10,060
How can I kidnap my own son?
1856
01:21:11,580 --> 01:21:14,420
Hey, we got drugs in the bag.
1857
01:21:14,460 --> 01:21:16,380
Let me go, bitch!
Just let me go!
1858
01:21:17,939 --> 01:21:19,380
Get off of me, bitch!
1859
01:21:22,179 --> 01:21:24,020
Can't I be honored
and then arrested?
1860
01:21:24,060 --> 01:21:25,779
No, we can't do that.
I'm sorry.
1861
01:21:26,979 --> 01:21:28,259
Kidnapping?
1862
01:21:28,259 --> 01:21:32,260
Prostitute in your car
in possession of marijuana.
1863
01:21:32,300 --> 01:21:34,780
Possession
of an unlicensed firearm.
1864
01:21:34,819 --> 01:21:36,739
I told you already
about the firearm.
1865
01:21:36,780 --> 01:21:39,260
There was a crazy woman
on my roof shooting at me.
1866
01:21:39,300 --> 01:21:41,180
I got the gun away from her,
I put it in my car.
1867
01:21:41,220 --> 01:21:42,860
I was gonna hand it in.
1868
01:21:42,899 --> 01:21:44,419
I gotta make another phone call.
1869
01:21:44,460 --> 01:21:45,499
You made your call.
1870
01:21:45,539 --> 01:21:46,859
Yeah, I know,
but that didn't count.
1871
01:21:46,899 --> 01:21:49,020
That was to my girlfriend's
answering service.
1872
01:21:49,059 --> 01:21:50,619
I'm trying to keep her
from getting married.
1873
01:21:50,660 --> 01:21:52,340
You also called your sister.
1874
01:21:52,379 --> 01:21:53,980
My sister wasn't in.
1875
01:21:54,019 --> 01:21:55,099
You called your lawyer.
1876
01:21:55,139 --> 01:21:56,779
My lawyer was at Canyon Ranch.
1877
01:21:56,820 --> 01:21:58,220
I can never get my lawyer.
1878
01:21:58,259 --> 01:22:00,420
Can I give you some advice?
1879
01:22:00,459 --> 01:22:02,659
You're in deep shit.
1880
01:22:10,300 --> 01:22:12,500
This time,
I think you've really had it.
1881
01:22:14,219 --> 01:22:17,499
Hey, it was your idea
to kidnap Hilly.
1882
01:22:17,540 --> 01:22:18,979
It was my idea?
It wasn't my idea.
1883
01:22:19,019 --> 01:22:20,300
I made a joke.
1884
01:22:20,339 --> 01:22:22,419
You don't have to act out
on every impulse.
1885
01:22:22,460 --> 01:22:24,100
You've got to tell me
the truth.
1886
01:22:24,140 --> 01:22:26,139
Is it better being dead?
1887
01:22:26,180 --> 01:22:28,739
No, it's not really,
but there's one good thing.
1888
01:22:28,780 --> 01:22:30,659
You don't get called
for jury duty...
1889
01:22:30,659 --> 01:22:32,259
but then you have no options.
1890
01:22:32,299 --> 01:22:33,659
It's not for you.
1891
01:22:33,700 --> 01:22:35,660
Jesus. I'm no good at life.
1892
01:22:35,699 --> 01:22:37,820
No, but you write well.
1893
01:22:37,860 --> 01:22:39,620
I write well,
but that's a different story...
1894
01:22:39,660 --> 01:22:41,820
because I can manipulate
the characters and plots.
1895
01:22:41,860 --> 01:22:43,340
You create your own universe...
1896
01:22:43,379 --> 01:22:45,579
but that's much nicer
than the world we have.
1897
01:22:45,619 --> 01:22:47,819
But I can't function
in the world we have.
1898
01:22:47,860 --> 01:22:50,180
I'm a failure at life.
1899
01:22:50,180 --> 01:22:53,139
I think you bring pleasure
to a lot of people.
1900
01:22:53,180 --> 01:22:55,100
But even that's drying up.
1901
01:22:55,140 --> 01:22:57,099
For the last months...
1902
01:22:57,139 --> 01:23:01,219
I haven't been able to come up
with a meaningful idea to write.
1903
01:23:01,259 --> 01:23:05,700
Make peace with your demons
and your block will pass.
1904
01:23:05,739 --> 01:23:10,100
Jesus, it sounds so trite,
but I just want to be happy.
1905
01:23:10,819 --> 01:23:12,459
To be alive is to be happy.
1906
01:23:12,499 --> 01:23:13,979
Take it from me.
1907
01:23:15,180 --> 01:23:17,380
Hey, Block. Come on.
1908
01:23:21,300 --> 01:23:22,739
Some people
just put up your bail.
1909
01:23:24,340 --> 01:23:25,700
This way.
1910
01:23:26,499 --> 01:23:27,819
You?
1911
01:23:27,859 --> 01:23:30,100
We got the message
on our service.
1912
01:23:30,140 --> 01:23:31,500
Came right from our wedding.
1913
01:23:31,539 --> 01:23:33,459
You did?
1914
01:23:33,500 --> 01:23:34,940
We're on our way
to our honeymoon.
1915
01:23:34,979 --> 01:23:38,019
-You got married?
-You have to ask?
1916
01:23:38,060 --> 01:23:39,460
I can't believe it.
1917
01:23:39,460 --> 01:23:41,819
In the end,
you chose him over me?
1918
01:23:41,859 --> 01:23:43,099
I can't fathom this.
1919
01:23:43,140 --> 01:23:44,780
You're gonna insult me
after we ran from the altar...
1920
01:23:44,819 --> 01:23:46,180
to keep you from rotting
in prison?
1921
01:23:46,180 --> 01:23:47,979
I know you get claustrophobic.
1922
01:23:48,019 --> 01:23:49,659
Plus you're the perfect punk.
1923
01:23:49,700 --> 01:23:51,660
You'll get buggered
by every con in the cell block.
1924
01:23:51,699 --> 01:23:53,940
You're the guy
that should be in there...
1925
01:23:53,980 --> 01:23:55,819
because you stole her
from under my nose.
1926
01:23:55,860 --> 01:23:59,340
Harry, he did not steal me.
I love him.
1927
01:23:59,379 --> 01:24:01,299
I can't fathom this.
1928
01:24:01,339 --> 01:24:04,059
I appreciate your coming,
but I can't--
1929
01:24:04,100 --> 01:24:06,379
Why? Why not me?
1930
01:24:06,420 --> 01:24:09,259
You told me I wasn't supposed
to fall in love with you.
1931
01:24:09,300 --> 01:24:12,419
How could you listen to me?
You know how crazy I am.
1932
01:24:12,419 --> 01:24:15,100
Well, you were my mentor,
that's why.
1933
01:24:15,139 --> 01:24:16,779
But you were sleeping
with your mentor.
1934
01:24:16,819 --> 01:24:19,819
So? I've slept
with my gynecologist.
1935
01:24:19,859 --> 01:24:22,579
What has that got to do
with anything?
1936
01:24:22,620 --> 01:24:24,700
You're gonna snorkel
down the Amazon with him...
1937
01:24:24,739 --> 01:24:26,819
when you could have me?
1938
01:24:26,860 --> 01:24:29,340
I will never be
the writer you are.
1939
01:24:29,380 --> 01:24:30,939
You put your art into your work.
1940
01:24:30,980 --> 01:24:32,459
I put it into my life.
1941
01:24:32,500 --> 01:24:34,180
I can make her happier.
1942
01:24:34,219 --> 01:24:36,220
I love you.
1943
01:24:36,259 --> 01:24:40,539
I do. It's just that
I'm in love with Larry.
1944
01:24:40,580 --> 01:24:42,339
I'm his wife.
1945
01:24:42,339 --> 01:24:45,020
I love you, too, Harry.
Give us your blessing...
1946
01:24:45,059 --> 01:24:47,580
so that we can go and enjoy
our honeymoon.
1947
01:24:47,620 --> 01:24:48,980
We'll be in Santa Fe
about a month...
1948
01:24:49,019 --> 01:24:52,380
and when we come back, we'll
all go out. We're friends.
1949
01:24:52,420 --> 01:24:53,500
This is where you're going
on your honeymoon?
1950
01:24:53,539 --> 01:24:55,619
He's taking you to the desert?
1951
01:24:55,659 --> 01:24:58,580
Sand? The desert is cactus.
1952
01:24:58,619 --> 01:25:00,419
It's gila monsters...
1953
01:25:00,419 --> 01:25:03,820
whatever you call them,
lizards, is the desert.
1954
01:25:03,859 --> 01:25:06,059
Harry, give us your blessing,
please?
1955
01:25:06,100 --> 01:25:07,579
Give 'em your blessings...
1956
01:25:07,620 --> 01:25:09,859
before I throw you back
in that fucking jail cell...
1957
01:25:09,899 --> 01:25:11,099
and I bugger you.
1958
01:25:14,139 --> 01:25:16,580
I don't know what to say.
I love you.
1959
01:25:16,619 --> 01:25:18,740
This guy I've loved...
1960
01:25:21,460 --> 01:25:23,179
I give up. I give up.
1961
01:25:25,700 --> 01:25:27,299
We'll get you home, all right?
1962
01:25:28,780 --> 01:25:30,459
Santa Fe, you're gonna take her?
1963
01:25:30,500 --> 01:25:31,900
Tacos.
1964
01:25:53,140 --> 01:25:56,180
Harry, what about
the honoring ceremony?
1965
01:25:59,100 --> 01:26:00,820
We haven't had the ceremony.
1966
01:26:00,860 --> 01:26:02,660
The police interrupted.
1967
01:26:04,339 --> 01:26:05,979
What, am I dreaming?
1968
01:26:06,019 --> 01:26:07,099
Everybody dreams.
1969
01:26:07,140 --> 01:26:08,579
Come on.
1970
01:26:08,619 --> 01:26:10,420
Professor Clark
has everything planned.
1971
01:26:12,260 --> 01:26:14,659
Can I bring Hilly?
1972
01:26:14,700 --> 01:26:16,900
Well, it's your dream.
1973
01:26:18,140 --> 01:26:19,739
Stebbins Hall?
1974
01:26:19,780 --> 01:26:22,299
Everyone is waiting
to honor you.
1975
01:26:22,339 --> 01:26:25,339
After all, you created them.
1976
01:27:29,460 --> 01:27:31,419
I love all of you.
1977
01:27:31,459 --> 01:27:32,939
Really, you've given me...
1978
01:27:32,979 --> 01:27:35,259
some of the happiest moments
of my life...
1979
01:27:35,299 --> 01:27:38,780
and you've even
saved my life at times.
1980
01:27:38,819 --> 01:27:41,820
And now you've actually
taught me things...
1981
01:27:41,859 --> 01:27:43,219
and I'm completely grateful--
1982
01:27:43,259 --> 01:27:46,139
I think the author's message
is to know yourself...
1983
01:27:46,180 --> 01:27:48,699
stop kidding yourself,
accept your limitations...
1984
01:27:48,739 --> 01:27:50,180
and get on with your life.
1985
01:27:50,180 --> 01:27:51,299
It's amazing.
1986
01:27:51,339 --> 01:27:54,619
To me, it's a really interesting
character--
1987
01:27:54,660 --> 01:27:58,020
a guy who can't function well
in life...
1988
01:27:58,059 --> 01:28:01,499
but can only function in art.
1989
01:28:01,540 --> 01:28:04,700
It's sort of sad in a way
and also funny.
1990
01:28:04,740 --> 01:28:07,620
But your books all seem
a little sad on the surface...
1991
01:28:07,659 --> 01:28:09,060
which is why I like
deconstructing them...
1992
01:28:09,100 --> 01:28:11,379
because underneath
they're really happy.
1993
01:28:11,420 --> 01:28:12,699
It's just that
you don't know it.
1994
01:28:14,819 --> 01:28:16,859
I feel like I'm in a dream.
1995
01:28:16,900 --> 01:28:20,620
This, for me, is the best dream
I've had in months.
1996
01:28:20,659 --> 01:28:23,100
The happiest dream--
1997
01:28:23,139 --> 01:28:24,779
Oh, I like it.
1998
01:28:24,819 --> 01:28:26,459
I like it.
1999
01:28:26,500 --> 01:28:31,620
A character who's too neurotic
to function in life...
2000
01:28:31,620 --> 01:28:34,819
who can only function in art.
2001
01:28:36,339 --> 01:28:38,219
Notes for a novel.
2002
01:28:38,939 --> 01:28:40,260
Opening possibility:
2003
01:28:41,419 --> 01:28:46,020
Rifken led a fragmented,
disjointed existence.
2004
01:28:46,059 --> 01:28:48,419
He had long ago come
to this conclusion...
2005
01:28:48,419 --> 01:28:51,019
all people know the same truth.
2006
01:28:51,060 --> 01:28:54,819
Our lives consist
of how we choose to distort it.
2007
01:28:54,859 --> 01:28:57,979
Only his writing was calm.
2008
01:28:58,019 --> 01:29:01,780
His writing, which had
in more ways than one...
2009
01:29:01,819 --> 01:29:03,499
saved his life.
2010
01:29:07,000 --> 01:29:12,000
SUBRip by Cristo
Marc2008 (2009), The Netherlands.
Deconstructing.Harry[1997]
DvDRip[Eng]AC3-SpearSparrow.avi145275
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian (Nynorsk)
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof